Alchemy Lacquers: Chocolate Bar Collection 


A cat hair just flew into my wet fingernail so now this day has officially been cancelled and deleted. Ugh.  Whyyyyyy, Universe, why?  Apparently, someone out there thinks I have nothing more to do than paint nails for nigh on eternity.  Except who’s watching the TV then?  Eating the Cheetos?  Dangling the robe strings in front of the cat for like two hours straight?

In other words, I’m var var busy.  The fact this blog is getting written is a damn near miracle.  Worth half a horn toot, at least.

In an attempt to go to bed before 3am, let’s do a speed blog!  I have a most gorgeous collection of polishes from Alchemy Lacquers to share with you today.  Check out what Rebecca made:


Look at all those pretty sausages! Every single one of them: beauties.  I don’t know what you got planned later, but tossing a bunch of polish in your shopping cart sounds about right.  You’re about to spend some money, y’all, just so you know.

So this is the Chocolate Bar Collection, a set of 6 little dreamboats full of sparkle and shimmer and general deliciousness. GUYS, you want these.  I’m serious.  I can’t think of one acceptable reason why not.  Unless you don’t like pretty things.  Or perhaps you are a robot.  But other than that, NOTHING.

Get your wallets handy, cuz here’s your quick rundown of colors: 


DESCRIPTION:  A pink flake that contains pink metallic and holographic glitter, purple/pink/orange shifting flakies and a touch of holographic sparkle

OPACITY:  Three ultra smooth coats

Rebecca said this one is intentionally made sheer and you might consider putting it over a dark base; HOWEVER, that’s a whooooole nother level of effort, so here’s what it looks like on naked nails instead.  PERFECTION, basically.


DESCRIPTION:  A gold/brown to green shifting holographic with specks of coral-orange/gold/green/blue multichrome flakies

OPACITY:  Two lovely coats

For real, my jaw is just laying on the floor like NO BIG DEAL.  


DESCRIPTION:  A mauve creme with turquoise/blue shifting shimmer and holographic finish

OPACITY:  Two luscious coats

Purple lovers, you seeing this?!  GAH!  It’s getting suuuuuper swoon-y in here!  Hope ya’ll got your fainting couches handy, like one of those fancy Victorian ones, cuz who’s about to get unattractive on a futon?  NOT THIS LADY.


DESCRIPTION:  A dark red jelly with red/orange/gold/green shifting shimmer

OPACITY:  Two dreamy coats

Ahhh, now. We’re in love with this one aren’t we? She’s the red of your dreams:  sexy and sassy, flirty but also kinda bossy. She’s who you wish you were back in 5th grade when you tried out for cheerleading but refused to show school spirit, cuz duh, EMBARRASSING. For real, it was all kinds of uncomfortable crickets in there. Those judges … being so judgy. It’s as if they knew there was a spelling bee nearby missing a 10-year-old.


DESCRIPTION:  A milk coffee creme with turquoise/pink/purple shifting shimmer and holographic finish

OPACITY:  Three dainty coats

Normally, I don’t love me some nudes, but this one has just enough darkness in it to look flattering against my see-thru skin.  And that contrasting shimmer?  Ugh.  So pretty.  Even the Queen of England’s got a dire case of the Grabby Fingers.  GIMME.


DESCRIPTION:  A cool dark grey creme with magenta/red/orange/gold/lime green shimmer

OPACITY:  Two gorgoeus coats 

And now we end this thing on a billion exclamation points.  This one is truly gorgeous and a legit driving hazard.  Cuz while the shimmer is a little more subdued in regular lighting, under the sun there’s an insane amount of sparkle.  Plus potholes.  Lots and lots of potholes.



The Chocolate Bar collection is available now, so guess what you’re doing in about 2.5 seconds?  Seriously, I’m not saying it’s a Polish Emergency, but it’s probably a Polish Emergency.  Go, go, go!  Cuz who’s missing out on all his chocolately goodness.  CERTAINLY NOT YOU.  Some deets:

Mint Chocolate Chip and Strawberry Eclair – $9.00 each

Salted Caramel and Black Forest Truffle – $10.00 each

Cherry Cordial and Amaretto – $11.00 each

Comes with a side of Leonardo.  Or else I just dreamed that.  I dunno.

Where to buy:

Shop closes at midnight EST 10/11 (or technically 10/12) so be sure to get your orders in TODAY. As in, RIGHT NOW. As in, NO TIME FOR LOUNGING.  The shop will only be down briefly and the polishes will be back, but that is beside the point. 

And now, the linky loos!  Connect with Alchemy Lacquers:



Fan Group

Headed to do a couple more swatches before bed which will most likely end up a 17 hour polish party. And then naps at the desk for me tomorrow! HR loves that, I swear.

Later, loves!


Pretty Beautiful Unlimited: Sugar Skulls Collection (partial)


We’re jumping straight into the polish, guys, cuz all I’ve gotten accomplished today was a handful of swatches and epic Olympic-style time wasting.  Which surprisingly doesn’t get a blog written, not even a little bit.  So I’ve effectively ruined the streak I had going and now I’m behind, and basically if you have a tube of hives cream handy, I’ll take a thousand.  Ugh.  Responsibilities.

Now, FOCUS.  

The lovely Miss Virginia from Pretty Beautiful Unlimited sent me 6 out of 12 colors from the new Sugar Skulls collection to share with you today, and if you’re in the mood for an all out glitter EXTRAVAGANZA!, well then you’re about to have a var var good day.  Lookie:


Told ya.  How festive and fun and Halloween-y are these?  And headed for the shopping cart, just so you know.

Okay, a zero chatty quick rundown of the colors.  It’ll be hard to just give you a description and show you pictures and then move on to the next one like I ain’t a big drool-y mess and this is all NO BIG DEAL. Cuz it IS a big deal to the trillionth degree, let me assure you. But we don’t have 18 years to just hang out in here reading things today, so onto the polish we go.  Weeee!

In other words, I’m sorry.  As soon as someone takes the couch away, everything goes back to normal.


DESCRIPTION:  A white crelly with silver, purple, turquoise, black, lime and pink glitters with indigo/purple/red/orange shimmer

OPACITY:  Two coats, which is amazing for a white crelly.  Nice, smooth application which is AMAZING-ER.  Virginia’s got this thing on lock!


DESCRIPTION:  A bold lavender jelly with two types of chrome flakies, gold, silver and chameleon glitters and red/purple/blue shimmer

OPACITY:  Two dreamy coats, although you might do a billion on accident.  CAN’T.  STOP.  POLISHING.  You purple lovers agree.


DESCRIPTION:  A dark grey crelly with gunmetal, black, silver, white and pink glitters

OPACITY:  Another two coater!  What is this voodoo magic?


DESCRIPTION:  A burnt orange crelly with red/violet/blue shimmer, illusion flakes and green, copper, red, gold and chameleon microglitters

OPACITY:  Blah blah blah.  You already know.

Side note:  THIS COLOR!  One of the prettiest ugly colors you’ll ever see.  I want this one on all the surfaces.  Mine AND yours.  COMPLETE RATIONAL BEHAVIOR, in case you’re curious.


DESCRIPTION:  A white crelly packed with gold, green, brown, garnet and red glitters and copper shimmer

OPACITY:  Two coats, cuz this miracle is neverending.  Perfect crelly formula too.  If you’ve been looking for a non-gloopy white, well then it’s 18,000 bottles for you.

Kinda pulls a little off white on me, but I think it’s the copper shimmer giving us a brain malfunction.  Cuz COPPER, y’all.  Also known as THE DAY WE ALL GOT A LITTLE MORE UNATTRACTIVE.  I mean, there’s only so much sexy to go around while the tongue is lolling about outside the body.


DESCRIPTION:  A green jelly packed with green/gold/red shimmer, chameleon microglitters and chrome flakies

OPACITY:  Two smooth and lovely coats.  And it’s GREEN.  Gah!  Excuse me while I pass on out for a second.

Check out that shimmer:


You done died.  You did.

The Sugar Skulls Collection is available now, so you’re all set for shopping!  In addition to these 6 polishes, there are 6 more to toss in the cart.  NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR LOUNGING.  Go buy yourself some nail polish cuz it’s your most logical next step.  Here’s all the deets:

Entire 12-piece set retails for $95

If you gotta go single bottles, price is $9.50 each for Mojito Limes and La Muerte and $9 each for the rest I’ve swatched here.  For the other 6 polishes, check the website for info.  I’d do it for you, but SUDDENLY! I’ve ran out of efforts.  As one tends to do while blogging at 2am.

Where to buy:

Finally, the linky loos!  Connect with Pretty Beautiful Unlimited:



Fan Group

Alright gang, that’s it!  Go get your pretties. Then sit back, relax and stalk your mailman like a proper loon.

Later, loves!


Fair Maiden Polish: Polish Pickup October 2017


Oh, just sitting here with the cat at 2 in the morning eating Doritos cuz CLEARLY we know how to party. Seriously guys, first Spelling Bee Champion of 1987 and now THIS. Why I’m not married to Leonardo DiCaprio at this point defies alllll the comprehensions.

So, seeing as the Polish Pickup is practically over, I figure now’s a good time to write a blog about it. Best blogger ever, y’all! Never forget. Ugh. However, I’m gonna try to make this review short and sweet in an effort to be somewhat professional. And then spend the next 17 paragraphs discussing how I’m gonna make a review short and sweet, thereby defeating the purpose about ONE BILLION PERCENT. Again, BEST BLOGGER EVER, just so we’re clear.

Let’s move on, shall we? You know, before more stupid things come out. I have the Fair Maiden Polish contribution to the Polish Pickup to show you, and I swear y’all are about to get suuuuper unattractive in about 2.5 seconds. Cuz there’s shimmer and flakies and noodle legs GALORE! Take a look:



Welp, let’s go ahead and get the smiling like an idiot part out of the way first, then. Perhaps y’all need to go off by yourself for a second, lest someone walk in on you while you’ve got your eyes closed, looking stupid.

Once again, the theme for October is Monsters & Mythical Creatures, and Sarah and Adrienne were inspired by the movie of my childhood, The NeverEnding Story. Seriously, I wanted to be that Empress. She was beautiful and angelic and the complete opposite of 9-year-old me with a face full of eyeglasses.

Here’s the pic:


Now here’s the polish:



Basically twins! But did we expect anything less from the Fair Maiden ladies? NO WE DID NOT.

DESCRIPTION: A white crelly with intense blue shifting shimmer that hints at violet and red in certain lights; finished with purple/blue multichrome flakies and a dusting of scattered holo sparkle throughout

OPACITY: Three coats, but two was pretty good

GUYS. This is one of the prettiest polishes you’ll ever lay your eyes on. It literally just glows on the nail. An eye-catcher, a dream-come-true-er. You’re gonna need like 27 bottles, but then again, you already know.

More pics, for extra convincing:




Gah! The flakies got me, guys. They got me good.

The Polish Pickup sale is open NOW and will stay open all the way thru Monday, October 9. Cost varies between makers, but Fair Maiden’s polish retails for $11. Shipping is a flat $3 no matter how much you buy. However, I recommend all of them because no one does Crazy Nail Lady quite like you. Get on it, boo boos!

For more information on the sale and how it works, click here for the FAQs. Cuz I’ve blogged like 7,397 days in a row and the carpal tunnel is so dire.

Now click here for shopping. I mean, what else is more important for you to do today? (NOTHING, in case you’re curious.)

Later, loves!



BLUSH Lacquers: Polish Pickup October 2017


Vacation is over and everything is back to normal cuz it’s 2am on a work night and obviously it’s TIME TO WRITE A BLOG!

Now fast forward approximately 22 hours later, and the second sentence of this blog has officially been born.  Sooooo … if you’re interested in wasting a whooooooole lotta time, I got tips and pointers complete with 17 charts and graphs and maybe an Excel spreadsheet, to be safe.  Cuz you don’t get to Lazy, Level EXPERT by doing things in a timely manner.  Ugh.  Seriously, someone needs to come save me from me.

And now SUDDENLY! the Polish Pickup has already started and OMG, THE HIVES ARE LURKING! I’ve only got 2 polishes left to blog, so this is some kinda IDEAL SCENARIO if you ask me.  

In other words, let’s get the hell on with it before the things are no longer the things.  Take a look at what Victoria with BLUSH Lacquers has made for us this month:


Well, now that’s just stupid pretty, is it not?  Gah!  I’m not even gonna pretend normal things are happening over here.  Cuz someone just tossed in a bunch of shifty business and I’m basically a big ole puddle of goo.  Plus drool.  And 27 other ladylike-type scenarios.  OMG, am I still married cuz seriously I don’t even know.

As mentioned in my previous post, this month’s Polish Pickup theme is Monsters & Mythical Creatures. Victoria was inspired by a Percy Jackson version of a hippocampus. Check it out:

So then naturally, she made us something beautiful. It’s legit time to toss all composure out the freaking window, just so you know. 


DESCRIPTION: A navy based polish with a shifting orange-gold-green micro flake shimmer, shifting green-blue-purple-pink flakies and a light touch of scattered holo

OPACITY:  Two coats, three if you’re crazy; obviously, I did three

Gah! I just love how those glittery things catch the light. Distracting, to say the least. Cuz you forgot you were reading this blog, didn’t you? Cuz I forgot I was even writing it.

Seriously, this polish is nothing short of STUNNING. Victoria always makes us such pretty things, but if we must choose favorites, this one is definitely at the top.  Formula is magical perfection.  And the Ugly Ecstasy Face is a dire thing.

More proof below!

Who’s still upright?  Not a dadgum one of us, that’s who.  I know y’all have 50-ish polish and polish-related things to choose from this month, but if this beauty isn’t somehow in your shopping cart, well then CLEARLY you are wrong.

So about this Polish Pickup thing, I’ll give you a brief rundown of talking points:

WHAT:  A crap-ton of indie brands all coming together for a one-stop shop event; you buy one or all, it’s up to you! Flat $3 shipping no matter what. 

WHEN:  Right now thru all day Monday, October 9


If you’d rather read the more eloquent version, click here for the FAQs from the PPU website.

The prices vary from brand to brand, but BLUSH Lacquers’ retails for $11.75.  But happiness is priceless so that point is moot.

To join in the fun of future Polish Pickup theme nominations, voting and sneak peeks, click here for the Facebook fan group. DO IT. I’m serious.

To be continued, loves! One more PPU to go!


Nail Hoot: Polish Pickup October 2017


I was 2.5 seconds away from buying my cat a unicorn horn hat souvenir but thankfully George Lopez walked down the hotel lobby and I got properly distracted by FAMOUS PEOPLE! for the next couple hours.  Hubby gave me the secret eye signal, you know, the one that says SIMMER DOWN, CRAZY without drawing attention to the fact that someone is clearly not simmering down.  Seriously though, hubby just needs to look away from time to time cuz when someone famous is nearby, I am the best dadgum lurker that EVER freaking lurked.  But FOR SOME REASON, that’s not a very attractive quality.  Ugh.  Hubby is ZERO fun sometimes.  Good thing I’m such a Trophy Wife or we’d all be worried.

So while I sit here behaving all sorts of stalker-y, let’s get to the point. The October Polish Pickup is just around the corner, and I know y’all just dying to get out your grabby fingers. There’s about 50-ish brands participating this month with some pretty amazing polish and polish-related things, so if there was ever a time to get off your no-buys, right now would be it. It’s a bye bye checkbook type situation for you, in case you didn’t know.

Here’s the gorgeous contribution from Brandie with Nail Hoot:


Drool-y Scenario #6534589, and we all got our buckets on standby.  It’s about to get suuuuuper unattactive in here, I can already tell.

The theme for the month of October is Monsters & Mythical Creatures, and Brandie chose this awesome picture as her inspiration.  Take a look at this:

Now look at this:


Basically, NAILED IT isn’t even close.  A whoooooole lotta jaw dropping, though?  Welllll, that’s better.

DESCRIPTION: A stunning, dark golden linear holo with medium red flash throughout

OPACITY:  Two luscious coats plus glossy top coat

This color is so comfy cozy brown-y gold, but those glittery bits?  UGH. I gots the noodle legs y’all and the Ugly Ecstasy Face is in full effect. I’m a walking pile of sex, just so you know.

More shots, but not for licking:

Even though you want to! But the judgy eyes, they are everywhere.

So in case you are new, this is how this thing works. The Polish Pickup shop goes live on Friday, October 6 at 11am EST. At approximately 11am and 1 second, you’re tossing nail polish in your shopping cart like a dadgum crazy person. Plus 27 backup bottles for SAFETY. Then get back into pajamas cuz you’ve had a hard day.

In case you’re unable to prioritize properly, the shop will stay open until Monday, October 9 at 11:59pm EST. After that, every last one of these polishes: GONE. Forever. As in POLISH EMERGENCY! so be sure to get your life in order or else it’s a sad state of affairs for you.

Prices for the polishes are all different; Skyward Gryphon in particular will retail at $9.75.  Shipping is a flat rate of $3 no matter if you buy one polish or if you buy all of them. I don’t do the maths too well, but I’m thinking that’s a pretty good deal.  Also, you can make multiple orders over the course of the weekend, and the lovely PPU ladies will combine your shipping.  Who’s royalty then? That be YOU.

To get in on sneak peeks and future voting for monthly themes, click here to the join the Polish Pickup Facebook group. Then when October 6 rolls around, click here for shopping! DO EEEEEET. I mean it.

More PPUs are coming, so be sure to stick around.  Later, loves!


Different Dimension: Be Nice or Leaf + Creepin’ It Real Trios


Current status: sitting in a pedicure chair taking care of business, one eye sleeping but still blogging like a DADGUM PROFESSIONAL.  Seriously guys, I earned those Gucci flats, in case you’re curious. Even if hubby did say I have to wear them everyday for the rest of my life.  Although if he’s thinking that’s some sort of punishment, CLEARLY he doesn’t know me very well.  Cuz before there was a nail polish problem there was a shoe problem, and once it is in you, IT IS IN YOU.  Allll the designer shoes: GIMME.

Okay, before a full-on snoring nap sesh happens in front of strangers, let’s look at polish.  Missi with Different Dimension has sent over so many pretties to share with you today!  Actually, I’m splitting things into two, maybe three blogs just to ensure y’all READ ALL THE WAY TO THE BOTTOM and I figure shorter blogs are more ideal.  Cuz although I can sit around and read things-slash-lounge about-slash-do freaking nothing for nigh on eternity, I’m quite certain everyone else in the world has more exciting shit to do.  Blah.  You and your fancy life.

But yeah.  Nail polish.  Lessss go!  First up is the adorable Be Nice or Leaf trio:


Want, want and need! That’s your new motto.  There’s just something about some glossy cremes in PERFECT seasonal colors that’ll give you a dire case of the Grabby Fingers.  Cuz while I do not particularly love fall – solely due to it’s unfortunate proximity to the hell that is winter – but anytime you toss in a bunch of pretty polishes that resemble the changing colors of leaves, welllllll … I’ll take a thousand.

Rational behavior?  NOT TODAY!

Swatches below show two coats plus a glossy top coat.  Nice formulas, applied evenly and easily.  Take a look at what you get:


DESCRIPTION:  A berry red creme


DESCRIPTION:  A butterscotch yellow creme


DESCRIPTION:  An olive green creme

Gah! Are those not glorious?  A trio of dreamboats?  Headed for the shopping cart?  If the answer isn’t YES, I am var var concerned about the state of your brain.

Plus they also stamp and watermarble!  I mean, I have nothing to show you cuz I don’t plan things very well, but that is beside the point.  Best Blogger Ever is what you’re thinking.

In addition to the cremes, there’s another festive trio headed your way.  Some Halloween fun courtesy of the Creepin’ It Real trio.  Check out more things you are buying!  

I see glitter! I see holo! I see wallets just flying out of purses everywhere!

Here’s the rundown:


DESCRIPTION:  A black holographic with silver flakies and holographic microflakies


DESCRIPTION:  An orange holographic with silver flakies and holographic microflakies


DESCRIPTION:  A holographic base filled with fine orange and black glitters

For these swatches, I did two coats each and had no formula issues whatsoever. Even Here For the Boos was quite impressive by its opacity considering the base has no color.  I did add a tiny bit of a third coat to that one just to ensure no naked spots, but it was barely a third. However, if your nails are longer, maybe three coats would work best for you.  Either way though, we lub it lots.

These polishes are available individually, but if you buy the trio you get one of these:


Whaaaaat?! CANDY CORN CUTICLE OIL?!  I swear, if you’re turning your back on this now, there’s a karate chop with your name on it. 

The candy corn scent is very nice. Sweet, but not over the top. I really liked it! And the brush applicator is super soft and fine enough to get down in the cuticles without causing disaster.You definitely want this. TRUST ME, you do. 


Two trios for extra drool-y scenarios!   Do you see how much you’re buying these?  In fact, you’re first in line. (Right? RIGHT.)

All the shopping deets:

The Be Nice or Leaf Trio retails for $25 and is only available as a set. 

The Creepin’ It Real Trio retails for $30 and includes the Candy Corn cuticle oil pen. If ya gotta go single bottles, they’re $12 each but sadly no pen.  In other words, you’re getting the trio. I HAVE DECIDED FOR YOU.

Everything is available now, so no waiting necessary. Y’all get busy!  You were just sitting around in sweatpants doing nothing anyway. 

Where to buy:

And now the linky loos! Connect with Different Dimension:



Fan Group

More blogs are coming later cuz this train keeps moving whether we want it to or not. Stay tuned!

Later, loves!


Polish My Life: Indie Polish Lovers United Group Custom


Fitness app update:  another 16,000 steps.  I literally have no idea who I am anymore.  Why is there so much PANTS on vacation?  Where are the pajamas and the lounging and the Full House marathons?  Where is my kitchen table full of nail polish and my cat not loving me, not even close?  Instead, here I am out doing “stuff” (against my will), walking myself skinny (although not as quickly as expected), and accidentally buying a pair of shoes from Gucci cuz DADGUMMIT an award has finally freaking come.  I mean, after all this efforting, if someone didn’t end up with a pair of designer flats, the Universe has done tipped sideways.

Good things there’s always nail polish!  I have a real beauty to share with you today.  Shaneka with Polish My Life has paired up with the Indie Polish Lovers United group on Facebook to bring us a spectacular custom that you’re gonna need roughly a trillion times over.  Take a look:


Ummmm, purple lovers, you seeing this?  If you’ve been keeping it classy for far too long today, you can now officially lose all semblance of ladylike behavior. Drools and swoons and tongue lolling GALORE!

So this little beauty is called WITCHES BREW and getting on this stat is your most logical next step. 

DESCRIPTION:  A deep vibrant purple with bright royal blue flakies

Swatches show two coats plus top coat. The shimmer in here is rather subtle in normal lighting, but then I drove to the grocery store and hit potholes all along the way. Driving hazard, clearly. The sparkle in the sun is legit gorgeous.

More shots for extra convincing:

Annnnnd now you’re spending all your money. I see no other reason why not. 

As mentioned, this is a custom polish made exclusively for the members of the Indie Polish Lovers United group on Facebook. If you want this beauty (and you do!), here’s your To-Do List:

Join the group by clicking here

Once approved, go to the pinned post at the top. Your secret shopping link is there. 

Toss a billion bottles in the shopping cart. 

Then, pajamas. 

Cost for this polish is $11 and it’s only available until October 31. However, if you make a purchase by October 8, shipping will be dispatched within a couple of days. Otherwise, purchases on the 9th or after will be shipped at the end of the month.  And who’s in the mood to wait four long weeks for nail polish?  NOT A DADGUM ONE OF US. So, first in line, boo boos!

More click-y things! Connect with Polish My Life:



Fan Group

That’s it; we’re done. Off to shave my legs so I don’t get kicked out of the spa. Cuz I haven’t polished anything in like four days and the withdrawals are FOR REAL.

Later, loves!