Fair Maiden Polish: Polish Pickup August 2017


So here I sit in a cute little boutique hotel, wrapped in a robe, and I’ve already unpacked three lamps, a lightbox, glitter backgrounds and 13 bottles of nail polish because I don’t know how to vacation like a normal person.  We are here just for a couple of nights, but wheeling three large suitcases through the hotel lobby didn’t look suspicious AT ALL.  Unfortunately, it’s not quite as exciting as one would expect.  Large wads of cash?  Private detective paraphernalia, perhaps?  NOPE.  Just nail stuff.  Clearly, I am suuuuuper fun at parties.

Before the swatch fest starts, let’s do one more blog.  Seeing as the Polish Pickup is practically over by now, I figure now’s a good time to talk about it.  Best blogger ever, guys!  Never forget.

Here’s something beautiful from Fair Maiden Polish:


Her name is Hollywood Royalty, and good news:  you’re buying it!

The Polish Pickup theme for August is Old Hollywood, and Sarah and Adrienne chose to work with Grace Kelly as their inspiration.  Grace Kelly was an American actress who later became the Princess of Monaco after marrying a prince.  You mean, this happens in real life, and I’ve just been sitting here being married to a chef this whole time?!  Ugh.

The inspiration photo: 

And it’s virtual polish twin:

So glorious!  All you purple lovers better FOCUS.  This is headed for your shopping cart in 2.5 seconds.  Plus 27 back up bottles, you know, FOR SAFETY.

DESCRIPTION:  A mauve linear holographic with a magenta to coppery gold flame

My swatches show an easy two coats.  Formula was smooth and lovely and full of magic.

And now, an insane display of holo:

Goodness, that color!  I love me some purple, but this red tone with the copper shimmer has got me reattaching my jaw to my face at least 18,000 times.  It’s truly stunning.

Finally, some macros:

Who’s still upright?  Not a dadgum one of us, that’s who.

The Polish Pickup sale is open NOW and will stay open all the way thru Monday, August 7. Cost varies between makers, but Fair Maiden’s polish will retail for $10. Shipping is a flat $3 no matter how much you buy.  I recommend all of them, because no one does Crazy Nail Lady quite like you.  Get on it, boo boos!

For more information on the sale and how it works, click here for the FAQs.  Cuz I’ve blogged like 7,397 days in a row and the carpal tunnel is so dire.

Off to swatch then more blogging in the morning.  Only one more Polish Pickup polish left, and then it’s Starbucks and pajamas for nigh on eternity.  Good night, loves!


BLUSH Lacquers: Polish Pickup August 2017


Guess what sale went live this morning all while I still have THREE blog posts left to do?  Gah!  If there was ever a time to freak the FRACK out, now would be it. See what lounging on couches does for you?  Not write a blog post, that’s for damn sure. 

And surprisingly doesn’t make you skinny either, which makes ZERO sense. Bah!  SCIENCE.

Oh, so yeah, the Polish Pickup sale is open. Who’s ready to get elbow jabby?  (All of us, to be clear.)  Go go go!  Cuz if I’m blogging on my lunch break instead of the napping I’d rather do, then you’re throwing polish in your shopping cart like money ain’t a thing.

Here’s what BLUSH Lacquers has up for grabs. Presenting, Hop on the Bandwagon:


If you haven’t been able to determine from the last six posts that the theme for August is Old Hollywood, I mean, I get it. It’s Friday. Half my brain is home in pajamas right now.   I probably won’t function properly til at least 4 minutes til 5.

Victoria took her inspiration from the Fred Astaire/Cyd Charisse movie, The Band Wagon. I haven’t heard of this movie (Cuz why again?  THAT’S RIGHT. Leonardo is nowhere.) but I am assuming it involves some sort of dancing.  Proof:

Or perhaps she just fell and they both went ultra dramatic about it in a Mary Katherine Gallagher SUPAHSTAH! kind of way.

OMG, what is happening?  Shut up, brain.

My point is, Victoria used to be a professional ballroom dancer and she worked at a Fred Astaire franchised studio so if there’s an expert in this blog right now, it’d be her.

I, on the other hand, shall sit here and drool like a good girl. Cuz look:

DESCRIPTION:  A light silvery blue holographic with a golden green shimmer and red and blue holo glitters

You’re about 2.5 seconds away from HAND MODEL! with this one. Cuz under the lamps, it’s time for some jazz hands. Check it:

My eyes, my eyes! If you’ve come here for the ladylike composure, you’ve picked a really terrible day. 

But then I put pants on. An outside shot, just for you:

Best blogger EVER, is what you’re thinking.

More photos cuz CAN’T STOP, WON’T STOP.  Let’s seal this deal!

I’m never surprised by anything Victoria makes. They are all consistently good. Formula is perfection, never gloopy, and the combos of colors and glitters and shimmer and goodies are unique and breathtakingly beautiful. Serious, if you’ve never used a BLUSH polish before, chances are you’re about to get addicted in a smother-y, stalker-y kinda way.

As mentioned before, the Polish Pickup store is officially open and will stay open until Monday at 11:59pm EST.  DO 👏🏼 NOT 👏🏼 SLEEP 👏🏼 ON 👏🏼 THIS.  Cuz who wants to wake up on Tuesday, sad and polish-less?  Damn near no one, that’s who.  

To shop: http://www.PolishPickup.com

Cost:  All the makers set their own pricing; BLUSHes will run you $12. But happiness is priceless, and that’s all that matters.  Shipping is a flat $3 fee no matter if you buy one or a billion.

Okay, deep breath. Only two left to do. Hang in there with me guys, then wine coolers later! To be continued …


Pretty Jelly: Polish Pickup August 2017


Once again the evening has gone by wayyyy too fast, and now here we are, blogging after midnight for the 9,375th day in a row.  Seriously, the amount of dedication happening over here is downright superhuman.  If there’s an award coming, send Leonardo with a Starbucks.  You know, if y’all not busy.

Before we all pass out from sheer exhaustion, let’s squeeze in a plug for the Polish Pickup real quick.  In less than 10 hours, it’s about to get suuuuuper elbow jabby, so it’s best to get prepared ahead of time.  Here’s one for the shopping list!  The stunning Singin’ in the Rain by Pretty Jelly:


Welp, I have no words. This one is the ultimate dreamy blue and you’re buying it. What more reason do you need? NONE. It’s going in the shopping cart. The end.

In case you haven’t heard (or you haven’t been reading this blog, and in which case, I am var var concerned about your brain), the theme for August is Old Hollywood.  Liz was inspired by the movie Singin’ in the Rain, and I can’t think of any better interpretation.  Look at this:

Now look at this:

Basically twins!  NAILED IT doesn’t even begin to describe this scenario.   

DESCRIPTION:  A shimmery blue scattered holographic with gold to green color shifting flakies

This polish is truly special.  It’s soothing to me, calming almost.  The color is vibrant and those flakies will have you running for your smelling salts in 2.5 seconds.  Okay, probably not running, but only because I like pajamas.  I mean, if you somehow see me running, you can just assume there must be an ice cream truck about to turn the wrong way.  In other words, skinny sure is taking its damn sweet time.  Ugh.

But back to the polish.  It’s 18,000 tickets to the Drool Convention.

Told ya.   I don’t even know how I can attempt anything eloquent at this point, cuz half my brain is a bumbling idiot. Uhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnn.  Let’s move on real quick before something stupid slips out (as happens about 97.8658% of the time).

Gorgeous, right? I want it all over my body, HR policies notwithstanding.

(And there’s that stupid thing you were waiting for.)

This one is my favorite.  The color and the flakies and those little peek-a-boos of green is basically all my nail polish dreams come true.  I wanna go buy like a thousand more bottles and that’s not even a typo. I adore it that much. And also, I can’t be normal.

Cost for this one will be $10, which is soooo much less than the billion I expected.  Our BEST DAY just got best-i-er!

The Polish Pickup sale opens on Friday, August 4 (quite possibly today by the time you read this) at 11am EST and will stay open all the way thru Monday, August 7.  Shipping is a flat $3, which is just one more reason to love everything about this scenario. So click here for shopping then!

And don’t forget: to get connected with future sales and to participate in the nomination and voting of themes, join the Polish Pickup group on Facebook. Click here!

Blog train is still moving, so check back tomorrow for more!

Later, loves!


Chirality Polish: Polish Pickup August 2017


I have effectively wasted a whoooooole lotta time this evening cuz I got sucked into the Facebook vacuum and couldn’t find my way out. At some point I wasn’t even reading anymore, just scrolling on auto-pilot, and one eye kinda just closed for a little bit, then SUDDENLY! the Polish Pickup is barely 13 hours away and OMG, THE HIVES ARE LURKING!  I’ve only got 5 polishes left to blog, so this is some kinda IDEAL SCENARIO if you ask me.  Cuz who wants to do things in a timely manner, when we can throw ourselves a BLOGGING FRENZY! with a side of carpal tunnel instead?  Not this lady.

So in an effort to get the hell on with it, let’s jump into more nail polish.  Prepare yourself for holo!  From Chirality Polish, here’s The Bride:


Aaaaack!  Excuse me while I attempt to get control of my brain.  Cuz hers a pretty lady, that’s why.

As mentioned approximately one billion times previously, the theme for the August Polish Pickup is Old Hollywood.  Amanda chose the most amazing inspiration photo:

Might as well be me staring at the amount of blogs left to write.  Seriously, guys, I may never sleep again.

I’m pretty sure this is the bride of Frankenstein so correct me if I’m wrong.  I mean, unless Leonardo was in the movie, all trivia answers are basically a crapshoot.

DESCRIPTION:  A silver scattered holographic with glittery blue sparks

This is truly a beautiful polish. At first you’re thinking it’s just a normal silver. Pretty, but no jazz hands. But then there’s these tiny pops of brilliant blue peeking thru, and just like that, you are a BIG PUDDLE OF GOO.  Cuz you can’t get enough of those gorgeous surprises; they getcha!  They getcha good. 

Macros, to see those sparks up close:

Now you see why you need this?!  How you’re walking away from this lovely thing defies allll the comprehensions. Unless you don’t like happiness. Or maybe you have no eyes. I dunno. 

The Bride will retail for $10, which leaves plenty of money left over for 18,000 more bottles. Rational behavior?  I think YES. 

Need more info on the Polish Pickup?  Click here for the FAQs. Same deal, different theme, every month.

WHAT: 42 indie polish brands all coming together for a one-stop shop event; you buy one or all, it’s up to you! Flat $3 shipping no matter what. 

WHEN: Friday, August 4 at 11am EST thru all day Monday, August 7

WHERE: http://www.PolishPickup.com

That’s it on this one!  Make sure it’s on your shopping list. DO IT. I mean it. 

More later, loves!



Nail Hoot: Polish Pickup August 2017


Full House is on, the cat has suddenly laid down right next to me without coercion of any kind, and there’s a bag of chips that taste like biscuits ‘n gravy within grabby distance.  I’ll be honest:  the distraction level at the moment is at an all time high.  Will this blog even get written before the year 2037?  Seriously guys, I don’t even know.

Welcome to your Bonus Blog!  Polish Pickup is still in effect, and the effort to post everything BEFORE the sale ends (you know, most ideal situation) is officially cranked in high gear.  Hope y’all are still awake and reading along cuz your BEST DAY EVER is about to get even besti-ier.  Nail Hoot is in the house, and if there was ever a time for the smelling salts, now would be it. Take a look at Don’t Call Me Sugar:


Where my blue lovers at?  Cuz this one’s got your name written allllll over it.  Quite possibly in French and attached to a Starbucks, cuz not much else gets better than that.  Unless it comes with a side of Leonardo, that is.

You might’ve heard already (assuming you’ve read this blog before), but this month’s theme is Old Hollywood.  Brandie was inspired by the movie Gone With the Wind, most specifically Scarlet’s dress in this scene:

So naturally something beautiful happened: 

Gah!  Did you just die?  Cuz I sure did.

DESCRIPTION:  A soft and beautiful cobalt blue holographic with slight pink flash

And under the lamps, it gets even better.  The color deepens and the holo’s got its jazz hands on:

Oooooh, someone’s about to spend some money, I can already tell.

Close up of that shimmer:


It’s a subtle flash of pink, but it is definitely there.  And the formula is pretty good too.  A nice, smooth, effortless two coater.  Jaws are dropping, people, and we’re all about to get unattractive.  However, on the plus side, if I hold my mouth open long enough, someone might just put some mashed potatoes in there cuz I AM THE LAZIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD.

OMG, WHAT?  Honestly, something has happened to my brain.  Nail polish makes me stoooopid.

Don’t Call Me Sugar will retail for $9.75, which is a pretty cheap deal for so much happiness.  Now, here’s more deets:

Polish Pickup FAQs – click here

Polish Pickup shop – click here

Now here’s where it gets serious. The Polish Pickup sale opens Friday, August 5 at 11am EST and will run through all day Monday, August 7. So if you can’t manage to get your priorities straight in a mere three days, well it’s a sad state of affairs for you then. In other words, setting 17 alarms makes the most sense. Cuz no one does Crazy Nail Lady quite like you.

To be continued for all of eternity.  More polish tomorrow, loves!


Different Dimension: Polish Pickup August 2017


The blogging frenzy continues!  Y’all better be loving this, cuz no one is getting any sleep over here.  Cuz I am CRAP at balancing out my life.  Even though I had every opportunity to blog during my lunch break today, I figured an accidental nap would be the most productive option.  I mean, head lolling in my own lap in front of co-workers gets a blog written almost every dadgum time.

And then of course, tonight’s bonus blog commences roughly around 1am, cuz my effort to go to bed early on work nights is CLEARLY working out so well.  Ugh.  One day, I’ll get it together, I swear.  Until then, though, we blog with our eyes closed.  Weeee!

More Polish Pickup beauties to share!  Take a look at what Missi with Different Dimension made for us:


Oooooh, I spy flakies!  I’m not even gonna pretend normal things are happening over here.

Again, this month’s theme is Old Hollywood.  Missi was inspired by the actress, Dorothy Dandridge, who was the first African-American actress to win an Academy Award for Best Actress in the movie Carmen Jones.   I’ve never seen the movie, which isn’t all that surprising considering how much Leonardo isn’t in it.  I feel like I’ll have a lot of movie watching to do after this Polish Pickup thing is done.  You know, so y’all don’t think I’ve been living in some kind of Gilbert Grape fantasy world.  (Although I have.  Duh.)

The inspiration photo:

Look how tiny that photo turned out.  Bahahahahaha!  I’m suuuuuuper good at blogging, you guys!

But then something better happened:

Gah!  So pretty!  There’s just something about a dark polish that gets the noodle legs started.  Then toss in some flakie business, and now NO ONE is upright.  

DESCRIPTION:  A black jelly base with holographic microflakies

That’s two coats of luscious, if you’re curious.  And good news, guys:  you’re buying it!  Plus 27 back-up bottles, for safety.

Check out these macros:

This one’s just begging for some galaxy nail art.  Of which I have none to show you.  Someone’s a PROFESSIONAL!  (As in ME, in case you aren’t clear.)

If you need info on what the Polish Pickup is and how it works, click here for FAQs. The shop opens Friday, August 4 at 11am EST and will be available thru all day Monday, August 7. Make sure you don’t miss it! Otherwise who wants to be you on Tuesday, August 8?  Damn near nobody, pretty sure.

Dorothy Dandridge will retail for $10, in case y’all like to budget instead of toss polish in the cart all willy nilly like me.  Click here for shopping!  

Stay tuned, loves. This ride ain’t over yet!


The Howling Boutique’s Supermoon Lacquer: Polish Pickup August 2017


Bonus blog!  I know we were just in here, but guess who still has 7,397 blogs to write?  And considering the fact they don’t write themselves – although WHY NOT?! is the actual question – I figure we might have to do some double duty in order to get them all posted relatively on time.  Who wants to find out what’s for sale at the Polish Pickup BEFORE all the polish goes away forever?  I mean, someone thought this whole thing out, clearly.  Best blogger ever?  I think YES.

I received 9 polishes for this month’s sale, which is only slightly less than the billion I swatched last month, but if I told you I was any less stressed about it, you’d DEFINITELY be reading someone else’s blog.  Cuz I can procrastinate like a DADGUM champion, and even though I have the most thorough and organized To-Do List of all time, suddenly I’ve lounged on the couch too long and then it’s a SWATCHING FRENZY! plus anxiety and a sweat bead mustache.  In other words, I’m not very good at goals.

I’m not even sure any of that was proper grammar, but now is not the time to be particular.  Cuz the Polish Pickup waits for NO ONE.  It’s happening, people; a legit no joke POLISH EMERGENCY.  Get your focus face on; there’s some serious business up ahead.  Here’s the contribution from The Howling Boutique’s Supermoon Lacquer:


As mentioned a mere one post ago, the theme for August is Old Hollywood.  Mardi was inspired by the classic Alfred Hitchcock movie, Psycho, and Norman Bates’ famous line, “A boys best friend is his mother.”  Now, I haven’t seen Psycho, which I’m pretty sure disqualifies me as an actual person, but from what I can gather, this Norman guy is a bit of a loon.  Perhaps he too has a nail polish problem.  I mean, I get it.  Cuz when it comes to a bottle full of flakies and glitter and holo, oh my!, it’s var var hard to not get stabby.

OMG, what?!  Shut up, Brain.

Take a look at what you’re about to buy:

Now here’s where we all run for our drool buckets.  Seriously, can we ever be sexy, even just for a little bit?  NO. WE. CANNOT.

DESCRIPTION:  A dark gray/black base that leans brownish-purple in certain lighting/angles and is filled with red color shifting shimmer, rose pearl flakies, red holo and metallic microglitter, silver holo microglitter and silver holo flakies

And a Starbucks on top!  Well, prolly.  That’s a lot of goodies, guys!  How this doesn’t cost like a billion dollars defies allllll the comprehensions.  Lucky for us, though, it’s only $11.  Unless we buy 18,000 bottles, which in that case, we’re not ruling it out.

Ooooh, ice cream just appeared out of nowhere. BRB.

Seriously, skinny is taking its own sweet time, in case you’re curious.  Ugh.

This polish is ridiculously pretty.  First of all, it looks mostly brown to me, which is one of my most favorite colors.  Then that flash of red is so super swoon-y, I can’t even look at it without dying a little.  Gah!  There’s an Ugly Ecstasy Face-type scenario happening over here, just to be clear.

No macros, to seal the deal:

DONE.  In the cart she goes!  Weeee!

I typed it all out in my last post, but no one’s in the mood now for carpal tunnel so if you’d like more info on the concept of the Polish Pickup, you can read the FAQs here.

The sale opens on Friday, August 4 at 11am EST and will stay open all the way thru Monday, August 7. Cost varies between makers, but A Boy’s Best Friend will retail for $11. Shipping is a flat $3, which is just one more reason to love everything about this scenario. So click here for shopping then!

Don’t forget: to get connected with future sales and to participate in the nomination and voting of themes, join the Polish Pickup group on Facebook. Click here!

Okay, that’s it for this one.  More coming tomorrow, so be sure to check back.  In the meantime, set 17 alarms and put Post-Its on all your surfaces.  Otherwise known as COMPLETELY NORMAL BEHAVIOR.

Later, loves!