Glisten & Glow: Summer Camp Daze Collection 

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Outdoorsy things have always hated me.  I was never the kid who got called on for sports.  Considering how often I played dress up with imaginary babies out on the playground, I’m sure they all figured a kickball rolling towards me at .027 miles per hour just wouldn’t be my thing.  I mean, you miss the ball only ONE SINGLE SOLITARY TIME, and suddenly a reputation for books and spelling bees is just handed to you – with a bow, signed card and cherry on top.

So naturally, that athletic inclination followed me everywhere.  I’d ride my bicycle to the post office to buy stamps for my nerdy pen pal obsession, only to get chased by the scary neighbor girls up the street.  I suppose my smoking candy cigarettes while steering one-handed just wasn’t the tough persona I expected it to be.

But I figured out a way, guys.  I FIGURED OUT A WAY.  Twelve years old.  Church camp, away from the comforts of home and the wise teachings of a mother whose only job at that point was to remind you how important it is to track your period on a DADGUM CALENDAR lest you have a surprise incident over a 100 miles away from a maxi pad.  Cuz in one fail swoop, it’s Unfortunate Star of the Tampon Mystery Hour, and there I am in the bathroom stall with a compact mirror and a thousand prayers for the tiny Baby Jesus.

My point is, if you’d like to be excused from beach volleyball for the rest of your life, accidentally leaving the cardboard applicator inside of your body is a pretty effective way. 

TMI?  Not in this blog!

I have a most glorious collection of summery crèmes to show you today.  Jill at Glisten & Glow is at it again with the Summer Camp Daze collection, and I don’t know what you have planned for the weekend, but if you’re tossing all five of these beauties in the cart, you may continue to read this blog.  Cuz we’s best friends now whether you like it or not.

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

OMG, I don’t even know which one to lick first!  Is Society watching, cuz it’s very hard to sit here and be normal right now.  Five fingers full of Jolly Rancher goodness, I’m almost certain.  Possibly slightly more poison-y, although who’s to know for sure?  Cuz the judgy eyes, THEY. ARE. EVERYWHERE.

Let’s do the rundown of colors, then I’ll meet you at the bottom.  Here we go!

First up is S’mores & Sing-alongs, an iris purple creme:

And then a shot under the lamps for maximum glossy effect:

Lastly, some nail art that I actually like:

Clearly, I was in a mood.  A bit of a burst of energy happened, and I managed a halfway decent dry brush before the nap kicked in.  I used two polishes in this collection plus Jill’s white creme, Wedding Gown White, then stamped over the top with the new What’s Up Nails B018 plate.  I think it turned out nice!  Let’s revel in this brief moment of mojo, shall we?

Next up is Counselors & Crushes, a bright magenta creme:

Under the lamps:

More okay nail art:

Pretty simple stamping attempt, and it’s not even hideous!  I’m not sure what is happening right now, but if a horn toot is next, no one’s surprised.

Used the same What’s Up Nails B018 plate plus Jill’s black creme, Little Black Dress, you know, in case recreations are in order. (They are.)

Now here’s Bunks & Bug Juice, a medium cobalt creme:

Annnnnnnnd, we’re drooling.  There’s no way you’re leaving this blog without a cart full of this one.  It’s the best of the bunch, a beautiful blue dreamboat.  I can’t even be clever right now cuz words have straight up left me.  The moan-y throat noises, though, are a dire thing.  Uhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnn.

See?  Gah!

Don’t look at this one:

I knew it was too good to be true.  Mojo had one foot out the door the whole time!  Blah.  Used What’s Up Nails B018 plate one more time, and then went off and cried for the next 37 years.  Hello, Nail Fail, my old friend.

On the bright side, all these cremes stamp beautifully.  Weeeee!

Here’s Campfires & Color Wars, a watermelon meets coral creme:

Under the lamps:

The nail art:

I’m good with this one.  I like the image and the two colors together.  I mean, no awards are coming although I’ll take a Starbucks if y’all not busy.

Used the What’s Up Nails B002 plate for this one.  It has lots of cool watermarble-y type scenes on it, so for those who think watermarbling is rocket science with neurosurgery and 27,000 spreadsheets on top, then you might need this plate.

Lastly, here’s Talent Shows  & Tie-Dye, a medium teal creme:

Under the lamps:

Final nail art:

A good old fashioned random patterned dotticure, which I methodically placed on my nail for the next 19 years.  I’m not good at random, let’s just say.  Although the attempt at effort was downright superhuman.

The round up:

Every single one of these polishes was virtually opaque in one coat.  I did two just to make sure everything was smooth and perfect, but then again, I can’t figure out a tampon so what the hell do I know, really?  The formula was consistent across the board, though – ultra creamy and smooth like butter.  I can’t think of anything more perfect.  Well, unless it comes with a side of Leonardo, that is. 

The Summer Camp Daze collection releases on Sunday, June 18 at 9pm EST, and you do NOT wanna miss out!  Setting 17 alarms is the most logical next step.  And then stalking your mail man like a proper loon.

Click here for shopping! 

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Lollipop Posse Lacquer: Polish ReVamped Group Custom Trio

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Staying on task is hard, you guys.  Considering the sheer amount of pajamas happening every evening after work, you’d think I’d manage a to-do list with just two things on it like a dadgum champion.  Instead though, it’s like SQUIRREL!, SHINY QUARTER! and then suddenly I’m head-lolling in the midst of an accidental 8pm nap, mouth agape for extra attractiveness.  Seriously, if time-wasting was a sport, I’d be sooooo freaking skinny by now.

And in other news, I’m still married!  Apparently all this chaos makes me adorable.  Who knew?

Let’s look at pretty things! I received a most amazing trio of polishes from the lovely Karen with Lollipop Posse Lacquer to share with you today.  If you’re in the mood for something dark and gorgeously sexy, get your focus face on cuz it’s serious business up ahead.  Take a look!

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I’ll admit I was expecting something a little more Leonardo-y. But this is okay too.

The Polish Revamped group on Facebook has Lollipop Posse Lacquer on the radar this month and I’m so so excited!  I was gonna say something sexy to describe the customs Karen made for us, but today is not the day for a Rude Husband Laughing-type scenario.  So here’s what Karen has to say instead:

We worked closely with the group admin, Elena, to create an amazing trio of Summer Playlist favorites intended to bring to mind the heat of a summer night … That slow, easy feeling.  Neon lights on wet cement.  Sensuality, and that midnight buzz in the air.

— Karen, Lollipop Posse Lacquer

See?  Just try leaving this blog without spending some money.  It’s nigh on impossible.

First up is Earthcrosser:

It’s two a.m. and it’s quiet again / Where’s my lip gloss? / And the ringing in my ears from playing too loud / I hear the ocean, I hear the crowd …

— Veruca Salt, Earthcrosser

This one is a matte-finish teal crelly that suspends microflakies and green, gold, teal and blue shimmer.  If you’ve never tried Karen’s matte shimmers, well guess who’s about to have a BEST DAY EVER?  (You, to be clear.)  They are some of the best polishes I own.  Perfect, smooth formula, opaque in two coats, ultra matte but with this insane mesmerizing glow.  For real, it’s 18,000 tickets to the Drool Convention with this one, AT MINIMUM.  If there was ever a time to close your eyes and smile to yourself like an idiot, now would be it.  

Oh, the Ugy Ecstasy Face.  It is so dire.

Next up is Passion Fruit:

Listen, seeing you got ritualistic / Cleansin’ my soul of addiction for now / ‘Cause I’m fallin’ apart, yeah / Tension between us just like picket fences / You got issues that I won’t mention for now / ‘Cause we’re fallin’ apart …

— Drake, Passionfruit

Here we have a smokey purple crelly that suspends a blue/green shifting shimmer.  Do you see why I love Karen?  DO YOU SEE?  Everything she does is magical.  The mix in this polish is stunning to the trillionth degree.  There may be some random hand modeling scenarios later with this one, pretty sure. Cuz running your fingers languidly over toasters and clock radios just happens sometimes whether you like it or not.

You want this, oh yes you do.

Lastly, here’s Crave You:

I walked into the room dripping in gold / Yeah, dripping in gold / I walked into the room dripping in gold / Dripping in gold / A wave of heads did turn, or so I’ve been told / Or so I’ve been told / My heart broke when I saw you kept your gaze controlled …

— Flight Facilities, Crave You

This one is a red/magenta based multichrome that suspends large gold flakes and smaller holographic microflakies.  Excuse me while I drool in a thousand buckets.  Cuz hers a pretty lady, that’s why.

In a market where multichromes are everywhere and they all start to sort of seem the same, Karen has managed to make this one completely unique and jaw droppingly beautiful.  I mean, the FLAKIES, guys.  The dadgum flakies!  If this one somehow ends up on all the surfaces (mine AND yours), no one’s surprised.

You need to scroll back up and look at those again, just to aid the convincing.  And if you’re still not sure, I’m var var sad about your brain.  Also, the fence is no place for a lady.  

The round up:

These polishes were made exclusively for the members of the Polished ReVamped group on Facebook.  To snag you some bottles, here’s your to-do list:

Click here to join the group, then click here for shopping – that’s it.  Easily manageable, unless you are me.  I’ve been writing this one sentence for the past 18 minutes cuz the Full House Marathon Distraction Epidemic is legit no joke.

Prices vary depending on the polish.  Earthcrosser and Passion Fruit retail for $9.50 and Crave You (cuz she fancy) retails for $11.    But happiness is PRICELESS, so 27 bottles in your cart, stat.

Okay, get on it boo boos.  This trio is only available until June 30, and then they will be gone forever.  You do not want to be that person on July 1 wondering what has become of your life, i.e., trio-less and sad.  If you have to write 7,856 Post-It Note reminders, so be it. Now is not the time for rational behavior. 

Later, loves!

Blush Lacquers: Summer Soirée 1 Year Anniversary Collection 

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I tried to get to this blog all day yesterday, but hubby left me home by myself and I forgot how to function.  For one, food didn’t just magically appear so I was forced to put on pants and drive myself to the store.  Gah!  LAME.  Then a wasp flew into the house, where I did an extraordinary amount of cardio trying to shoo it back out.  ALSO LAME.  I’m not a whiz at math or anything, but I’m pretty sure that’s 7,427 percent more effort than is allowed on a Sunday.  Boooo.

It’s a blog heavy week again this week, which means I’ve got to stay on task as much as possible.  That’s really hard to do cuz Full House keeps coming on TV and like, couches and pajamas are everywhere.  So as soon as the blog figures out a way to write itself, I’ll just be over here getting carpal tunnel like a DADGUM CHAMPION.

My sweet friend, Victoria, with BLUSH Lacquers sent me another amazing set of polishes to share with you today.  It’s BLUSH’s one year anniversary, so naturally the collection had to be special.  And although it surprisingly doesn’t come with a side of Leonardo, this is most likely the most amazing collection of all time ever.  Legit no joke.

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

OMG, the flakies!  Excuse me while I reattach my jaw to my face approximately 18,000 times.

The Summer Soireé collection is full of shimmer and iridescence and is inspired by sophisticated French parties and delicacies.  And, well, you had me at iridescence.  And French.  Not the “parties” part, though, cuz – you know – I like pajamas.

First up is Escargot, Non?:

This one has a brown-toned eggplant base with a bronze to green shifting shimmer, holo flakies and blue/green/gold shifting iridescent flakies.  IT. IS. GLORIOUS.  My swatch literally does no justice to this stunner.  Although my macros get a horn toot.  Take a look:

Did you just die?  Cuz I sure did.

Next up is Raspberry Sorbet:

This one has a raspberry pink base with a golden shimmer, holo flakies and pink/blue/purple shifting iridescent flakies.  So much pretty!  Feel like holding a tiny cappuccino?  Well this polish just begs for it.  It’s dainty and precious and Queen of England-approved.

Close up of those goodies:

Angels are singing, I swear it.

Now here’s Bonne Chance:

This one has a navy base with a bright aqua shimmer, holo flakies and purple/pink/orange shifting iridescent flakies.  I’m digging the mix in this one, man. That shimmer just glows. I’m trying to be normal over here, but I’m sensing some noodle legs lurking.

An insane display:

Who’s still upright?  Hmmmm? NOT A DADGUM ONE OF US, that’s who.

Next is Gilded Fawn:

This one has a golden taupe base with a golden/green shimmer, holo flakies and green/orange shifting iridescent flakies.  And while that’s all well and good, it’s the macro that does you in. Grab the smelling salts!  Now scroll.

Do you see that GREEEEEN?  Ugh. Our wallets have officially left the building. And our brain’s done gone somewhere.

Here’s After Hours:

This one has a plum base with a golden/green shimmer, holo flakies and gold/orange/pink/green shifting iridescent flakies. I feel like this is the point where Victoria just said EFF IT and made us all just drooling, unattractive messes.

More proof:

Tsk tsk, that woman. But also, THANK YOU.

Next up is Le Petit Macaron:

This one has a French blue base with a bright aqua to purple shimmer, holo flakies and pink/green/gold shifting iridescent flakies. HOLY MOLY! I want this one on allll the surfaces. Mine AND yours.

Now more flakie business:

LEVEL EXPERT.

Lastly, here’s Rose Gold Garden:

This one has a golden olive base with a rosy pink shimmer, holo flakies, and gold/green/orange/pink shifting iridescent flakies.  FREAKING DREAMY!  That pink shimmer is the best, most surprising part and just impossible to turn away from. Unless you don’t like pretty things. Or you have no eyes. I dunno.

Good thing we’re at the end, cuz what is breathing? What are words? What is life without drooling in a thousand tiny buckets?

In other words, BIG. PUDDLE. OF GOO.  If I wasn’t such a trophy wife, we’d all be worried.

The round up:

Every single one of these polishes was opaque in two coats.  A bit of a thicker formula, but easily managed – if you can keep yourself from passing out 17 times while applying, that is.  Victoria is the best at making every polish she does unique and infinitely beautiful, and the Summer Soireé collection is the apex.  How many you tossing in your shopping cart, then?  One, plus 27 back up bottles, at the minimum.

This collection is available now, so you’re all good to go!  Full set of 7 polishes retails for $77 and single bottles are $11.  But happiness is PRICELESS, so that point is moot.  Click away, my friends!  If there was ever justification for Crazy Nail Lady, right now would be it.  Shop link is here!

Happy 1 year anniversary, Victoria!  Thank you for making these sad white sausages look even a skosh more hand model-y than they actually are.  For that, I am eternally grateful.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

 

Octopus Party Nail Lacquer: The Mahalo Collection 

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Current status: sitting in the bathtub for the past hour and a half staring at the cocktail I left on the bathroom counter.  DAMMMMMIT!  This is one of those times when I wish I wasn’t so good at lazy. I mean, the whole point I’m in here is so I can play fancy lady with a drink in the tub.  But now I’m forced to sit here and shave my legs instead.  Ugh.  Friday night = RUINED.

Suppose I’ll just get to blogging then, considering how much they’re not writing themselves and all.  Clearly this getting caught up thing is going very well.  Only 7,237 blogs to go?  Well, that sounds about right.

FOCUS.  I have a legit polish emergency to share with you today and IT. IS. DIRE.  Our pal, Dave, from Octopus Party Nail Lacquer has teamed up once again with Kristen from Ella Ann Cosmetics for an exclusive last release before she closes up shop for good.  First of all, BOOOOO!  Second of all, that means this is a one and done kind of offering never to come back again, and OMG the hives are lurking!  Are you properly panicked?  Well, you should be.  Here is the Mahalo Collection:

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Soooo, tropical jelly holos.  And now our checkbooks have done left the building.  I mean, if any of y’all expected a display of ladylike composure, today is NOT your day.  Cuz you can’t just toss in a bunch of summery delicious squishiness and somehow continue on like no big deal. GUYS.  Rational behavior is for other people.  We’ve been through this before.

In an effort to get to the point (the shopping!) and because time just keeps ticking by (dumb), I’ll give you a rundown of the colors and meet you at the bottom.  Weeee!

First up is Bahama Hammock:

This one is a bright yellow holographic.  I feel like I should elaborate and it feels weird not to.  How do I just leave a tiny sentence over there like that and be like, LOOKS GOOD!, and move on?  I’m trying!  But before I go, lemme just say BAHAMA HAMMOCK real quick and giggle like a 12 year old boy.

Another angle, cuz NERD:

Under the lamps:

This one has the most extreme holo payoff, by the way.  Maybe because it’s the lightest color; I dunno.  I mean, that sounds a bit science-y for a Friday.

Macro time!

Okay, NOW no more chatting.  It’s serious business up ahead.  Lessss go!

Next up is She Sells Seychelles:

I’m literally sitting here saying the name of this polish over and over and failing miserably.  Blah.  This one is a pink coral holographic, all lovely and girly and Queen of England-approved.  If y’all are having tea later, you’re officially halfway appropriate.

Now here’s Hawaii Five Beaux:

This one is a juicy orange holographic and a most excellent summer shade.  It would be an awesome base for some tropical flower or citrus fruit nail art.

Of which I did neither.  Cuz, Best Blogger Ever, that’s why.

Next is Bora the Explorer:

This one is a bright bordering on neon pink holographic, and it’s my favorite of the bunch.  Looks like a popsicle!  Maybe even tastes like one, although slightly more poison-y.  But we’ll never know, now will we?  Oh, SOCIETY with your judgy eyes.

Lastly, here’s Baliwood:

This one is a warm orange leaning coral holographic, and it’s my second favorite.  I love the comfy cozy tone of it!  Did someone just wrap me up in a thousand toasty blankets and hand me a bunch of kitties?  Might as well have.

Then I did some nail art:

I attempted a gradient.  I had to manipulate it a bit with some manual blending, but that is because I am not a professional gradienter (and NO ONE is surprised).  But I think it turned out quite nice.  I applied the polishes over a coat of white to make them stand out better and then added some stamping using the new Uber Chic Beauty 18-02 plate.

In other words, EFFORT WAS MADE.  Quick!  Gimme my horn so I can toot it.

The round up:

All five of these polishes are pretty sheer on their own.  My swatches are done on top of naked nails in three coats.  Formula was ultra smooth, no gloop, and a pure pleasure to apply.  THIS IS NOT A JOKE.  It was about a full-on Polish Mountain scenario, except I give up easily.  Is that a good thing?  Maybe in this case, yes.  Cuz POLISH EMERGENCY, remember?

So here’s where the emergency comes in and the reason for all the rushing around.  The Mahalo Collection is up for pre-order RIGHT NOW but will only run through Sunday, June 11 at 9pm EST. After that:  GONE FOREVER.  Who wants to wake up June 12 full of regret and shame?   DAMN NEAR NOBODY.  So get on it, boo boos.  Or else it’s a sad state of affairs for you.

Each bottle retails for $11 and they are exclusively available at Ella Ann Cosmetics.  Click here for shopping!  Cuz good decisions just happen sometimes.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Top Shelf Lacquer: A Multichrome EXTRAVAGANZA!

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Well guess who’s behind again?  Ugh.  Things were going so smoothly, too.  I mean, the effort on display was Blogger, Level EXPERT to say the least.  Then I sat down on the couch and my brain done went away somewhere.  Someone turned Full House on, and SUDDENLY! responsibilities are for other people.

I don’t even know what it is about that dang show.  It’s on in the background while I am swatching and blogging – it’s become my routine at this point – but then Uncle Jesse breaks both arms and tries to feed himself cereal with a ginormous wooden spoon and officially I. AM. DONE.  Whatever else I had to do that day:  deleted AND cancelled.

Seriously, if you feel like wasting an extraordinary amount of time, I have pointers.  If I can put this much enthusiasm into other, more interesting things, I might be President of the Universe by now.  Pajamas for everyone!

But now we’re back on track, so everyone get your focus face on.  I received a huge haul of polish from my girl Amy with Top Shelf Lacquer, and if you’re into multichromes, holo or pretty things in general, you’re about to have your best day ever.  Get ready to spend some money, yo.  Justification starts now.

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Amy sent over three of her gorgeous multichrome quads, and opening the box was like a choir of angels singing.  If Leonardo popped out next, we’d all be like YUP, sounds about right.  Cuz this is some good stuff, man.  Amy’s multichromes are a one way ticket to the Drool Convention, at the minimum.

Let’s start with the Fun Bar Quotes – Holo’d quad.  I’ll give you the rundown of the colors, then I’ll meet you at the bottom (or else we’ll be in this blog for the next 18 years).  First up is Bad Decisions Make Good Stories – Holo’d:

This one is a red jelly base with a yellow to pink, orange, red, copper and green shift with a linear holographic finish.  I’m trying hard not to chat, but it’s already sweaty in here.  Gah!

Macro time!

You want this, oh yes you do.

Next up is Take Me Drunk, I’m Home – Holo’d:

This one is a super sparkly almost glittery shifter that goes from aqua blue to purple to red with flashes of copper and green in a purple jelly base with a linear holographic finish.  Two coats of dreamboat!  Photographing all the shifts in a multichrome is hard, but hopefully I’ve done them justice.  An attempt was made, so that deserves at least half of toot on the ole horn, pretty sure.

Also, macro skills aren’t too shabby.  Is an award coming, or … ?

Now we have Drinks Well With Others – Holo’d:

This one is also a super sparkly almost glittery shifter that has the most dramatic shift from green to blue and purple with flashes of red and copper in a slightly tinted jelly base with a linear holographic finish.  This one is soooooo much more stunning in person; it is LEGIT a shifty queen.  Might be my favorite.  Might end up on all the surfaces.  Mine AND yours.

Macro, a prelude to the 27 bottles you’re buying:

If we make it to the end of this blog it’ll be a damn near miracle.  Cuz not much gets done when you’re busy dying every 15 seconds.

Lastly, here’s Why Limit Happy to an Hour? – Holo’d:

Another super sparkly almost glittery shifter that goes from red to blue to purple with flashes of copper and green in a purple jelly base with a linear holographic finish.  At first, this one looks somewhat similar to Take Me Drunk, I’m Home but then you realize it’s a different toned purple.  I’d show you a comparison, but I don’t plan things very well.  I am a DADGUM PROFESSIONAL, clearly.

Macro, to aid the convincing:

You’re buying these, but then again, you already know.  

Next collection to show off is the Cocktail Fun quad.  Check out these straight multichrome masterpieces:

Remember back in April when I swatched the Multichrome Madness group customs, and they were four of the most spectacular things you’ve ever seen?  Well, these are those same customs but without the cute square glitters.  And I tell you what:  I stinkin’ LOOOOOOOVE them.  Plain multichromes?  Heart eyes times a billion.

First up is Schnapp To It:

This one shifts between green, blue and purple with an occasional flash of red in a tinted jelly base, and basically I’ve just lost all control of my body.  Bad case of the noodle legs plus the brain’s stop holding my mouth closed.  OMG, am I still married?  I don’t even know.

Grab the smelling salts!  Now scroll.

Mercy.  Words have officially left me.  It’s moan-y throat noises from here on out.

Next up is Now Watch Me Sip … My Chardon Nay Nay:

This one shifts between pink, orange, gold, and green in a tinted jelly base.  Isn’t this just the most beautiful burst of color?  Amy is a magician, I’m almost certain.

An insane display of pretty:

Seriously though.  The noodle legs.

Now here’s Tequila Mockingbird:

This beauty shifts from blue to purple to reddish in a tinted jelly base.  All you blue lovers, this one is calling for you.  Most likely in a French accent and handing you a Starbucks.  

Brace yourself:

Are you still upright?  Nope.  Me neither.

Lastly, here’s Help Me Straighten Mai Tai:

This one shifts from purple to red to bronze in a tinted jelly base.  Such a rich and glorious jewel tone!  The shift in this one is slightly more subtle than the rest, but then again I sprained my foot by stretching too hard on the couch, so I tend to do things in a VERY WRONG kind of way.

Macro, to seal the deal:

The last collection I have is the Cocktail Fun quad again, but this time with holo:

GUYS.  More polish you’re buying!  Cuz turning your back on all this magic is not an option.

First up is Schnapp To It – Holo’d:

This one shifts between green, blue and purple with an occasional flash of red in a tinted jelly base with a linear holographic finish.  If you’re sticking your fingers in stranger’s faces soon, no one’s surprised.  Cuz why act normal at a time like this?

Close up of those goodies:

Holo holo everywhere, and in the cart she goes!

Next we have Now Watch Me Sip … My Chardon Nay Nay – Holo’d:

This one shifts between pink, orange, gold, and green in a tinted jelly base with a linear holographic finish.  So freaking yummy!  I won’t lie: I kinda wanna eat this one.  But I won’t, cuz SOCIETY.  The judgy eyes are everywhere.  

Lolling tongues ahead!

Dang.  What is the point in life if you can’t lick some polish every once in a while?  I ask you, WHAT IS THE POINT?

Next up is Tequila Mockingbird – Holo’d:

This beauty shifts from blue to purple to reddish in a tinted jelly base with a linear holographic finish.  For me, the holo hid the shift a little bit so I think I prefer the straight multichrome version of this one.  HOWEVER, I continue eating whole bags of Funyuns (in a room by myself), so my opinion might be moot.  You decide for yourself, lovies.  I’m just gonna go sit back down now.

Still dreamy no matter what.

Lastly here’s Help Me Straighten Mai Tai – Holo’d:

This one shifts from purple to red to bronze in a tinted jelly base with a linear holographic finish, and if you’re thinking I must be an unattractive mess by now, YOU ARE CORRECT.  There’s only so much sexy to go around while holding a drool bucket.  Hubby just needs to look away for a minute so we can stay married longer.  I mean, the traditional 5th anniversary gift is WOOD, so pretty sure he’s about to build me a boat with his bare hands straight from a Nicholas Sparks novel – and hell if I’m missing out on that.  Although a popsicle stick rendering of the Titanic with a little toothpick Leonardo on top would be just fine too.

OMG, what?  Shut up, Brain.

The round up:

Each of these collections come in either 15ml full size or 8ml polish shots. Full quads retail for $44 (15ml) or $32 (8ml) and single bottles are $12 (15ml) or $8.50 (8ml).  Although which one of you is just buying one single bottle?  Damn near no one, that’s who.

And the best news?  It’s all available now.  Click here for shopping, then stalk your mailman like a proper loon.  What other choice do you have at this point?

Also, I’m serious about toothpick Leonardo.  I told hubby, and he laughed.  BUT HE IS WRONG.  So very very wrong.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

 

The Color Box: PINK

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GUYS. One of the coolest things is happening to me and it surprisingly doesn’t involve Leonardo and a wedding dress. Y’all heard of The Color Box where five indie makers and five bloggers come together and make nail polish magic?   Wellllll, someone out there felt like my blog full of nonsense and the swatches I make on top of my sad white sausages might actually be a good thing, cuz I snagged me a cushy little spot in it.   GAH!  Excuse me while I pass out for a second, cuz while I’ve won stuff before (i.e., 48 rolls of toilet paper in the work raffle), this right here is sooooo much better – with capital letters, exclamation points and a Starbucks on top.

So thank you to the lovely three creators (Manna, Jen and Julie) of this awesome box who kindly invited me to participate and make all my nail polish dreams come true.  I mean, it was either this or a crap ton of nail art mojo, and I figure Baby Jesus is gonna come through with that mojo thing for me any day now anyway.  Cuz I’ve paid my dues in that department.  I mean, where there is a nail fail, there is also me stamping all the things with my eyes closed.  Blah.

Anyway.  The Color Box.  I freaking did it.  An award is coming soon, I just know it.

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

So each quarter, the members of The Color Box group on Facebook nominate a color theme for the upcoming box.  This time around, we got some PINK coming your way.  Who feels like drooling in a thousand tiny buckets?  EVERY DADGUM ONE OF US, that’s who.  Brace yourself for a pink EXTRAVAGANZA!  In 3 … 2 … 1 … 

Told ya.

First up is the collaboration I did with Lindsay from Night Owl Lacquer:

This is Yes Way Rosé, a wine toned pink with light pink metallic microflakies, pink crystal microflakies and various sizes of lime green to gold color shifting iridescent glitters.  So many goodies!  How this one doesn’t cost like a billion dollars defies all the comprehensions.  It’s the prettiest of all things pretty, and if I’m gonna toot my own horn for the next 18 years, I’d say it’s legit no joke justified at this point.  It’s everything I wanted this polish to be.  Lindsay, you are a rock star.  I’m assistant rock star, though, to be clear.

Two coats of lovely!  And happiness, everywhere

Macros, for extra drool factor:

You done died. You did. 

Next up is the collaboration with Melissa from My Lacquer Cabinet and Britt with Bad Bitch Polish:

This is Marilyn Mon-Rose, a bubblegum pink with gold flakies and a bit of blue and violet shift.  I did two coats of this one and I just lub it so much. Nice and shimmery but not over the top.  It’s not SHIMMER! with jazz hands, but more just shimmer with like some sweatpants on. Comfy casual shimmer is what I’m saying. 

And then I went outside:

See what I do for you? Put pants on and everything.  Best blogger ever, let’s just say.

Closeup of the goodies:

Those dainty little flakies, they got me. Got me good, guys. 

Now here’s the collaboration between Manna with Manna’s Manis and Amy with Top Shelf Lacquer:

This is Manna’s Mystifying Masterpiece, a super hot blinding pink neon crelly with purple fleck.  And all I got to say about this one is, YEP.  Sounds about right.  This little lady confused my camera, hardcore.  It’s soooooo bright and ultra pass-out-y.  Like, if anyone has one of those old fashioned Victorian fainting couches, wheel me over one, stat.  Cuz neon’s got me feeling some kind of way, and if I’m gonna go getting unattractive, I’m gonna at least be a lady about it.  

Oh, but the Ugly Ecstasy Face is so dire.  I’m quite the catch you might say.

My eyes, my eyes!  Seriously, it’s getting ridiculous in here.  Are you sweaty?  Cuz I’m sweaty.

Next is the collaboration with Tiffany from Polish & Paws and Julie with Blue Eyed Girl Lacquer:

This one is Hiding Dory, a coral pink packed with aqua shimmer, fine turquoise shimmer and gold microflakies.  It’s elegant and lovely and perfect if you feel like holding tiny sandwiches later.  Cuz tea with Queen just happens sometimes, and it helps to be prepared.  Also, you’re 2.5 seconds from HAND MODEL! with this one. Cuz hers a pretty lady, that’s why.

Surely by this point, you’re buying like 27 boxes or something?  Cuz why be rational at a time like this.

Macros, to aid the convincing:

Doh!  There goes my ladylike composure.

Finally here’s the collaboration between Jen from XOXO Jen and Sara with Cupcake Polish:

This is Cyberpink, a hot pink holographic packed with super shiny silver flakies.  OMG.  Lolling tongues alert!  Seriously, I don’t even think I can act natural anymore.  It’s noodle legs plus drool buckets divided by reattaching your jaw at least 18,000 times.  Someone just needs to lock me in a room by myself lest hubby walks in and feels sad about the puddle of goo he’s married to.  

In other words, if this one doesn’t end up all over your surfaces, I am var var concerned about your brain.

Let’s seal this deal:

It’s bye bye checkbook for you then.  No one’s surprised.  

The round up:

This box is officially up for pre-order from June 9 through June 16, so setting 17 alarms makes the most sense.  Cost is $45.00, but flakies and shimmer and neon galore?  PRICELESS.

If you’d like to try to win a box, however, there is a giveaway happening with your name allll over it.  Here’s the deets:
1.  Open worldwide

2.  NO giveaway accounts, spam, or empty accounts. Winning entries will be checked, and those will be disqualified.

3.  You must be 18 years or older.

4.  You will have 48 hours to respond to email to claim your prize. After 48 hours another winner will be chosen.

5.  The Color Box holds no responsibility once the package has been dropped off at the post office.

6.  The only required entry is your email address; other options will then be unlocked but are optional

7.  If you are already following someone, be sure to still put your info. That’s basically a free entry!

8.  Giveaway runs from now until 11:59 pm EDT June 8th.

Which equals POLISH EMERGENCY so if you wanna give it a go, now’s a good time.  Click here to enter!

Voting will be coming up in the next month or so on what color theme the next box will be.  If you’d like to get in on that (and you do), join The Color Box group on Facebook by clicking here.

Lastly, I just want to express my extreme gratitude for the many polish-related blessings that have come my way, and being a part of this Color Box collaboration has been one of my greatest joys.  Seriously, if y’all weren’t reading the blog and enjoying what I do, I’d just be a crazy lady in here talking to herself.  So thank you for helping me maintain the sexy, as babbling idiots cause divorce if I’m not mistaken.

OMG, what?  Shut up, Brain.

Click here for shopping!

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Lilypad Lacquer: Beautiful Things Collection 

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Does this blogging thing ever end?  NO.  The train is still chugging, and I’m just about caught up.  I probably could’ve done it all yesterday, but I spent an extraordinary amount of time wearing pajamas and laying on couches.  Var var busy, clearly.  So now we’re back at it today with more pretties to hoard.  And I must warn you, they’re multichrome.  They’re dreamboats.  They’re 13 reasons why it’s bye bye checkbook.  Brace yourselves, people.  A nail polish EXTRAVAGANZA! is 2.5 seconds away.

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

I received a very generous swatch pack from the lovely Nicole from Lilypad Lacquer, an awesome Australian indie brand.  I have the entire Beautiful Things collection to show you today, and lemme tell you how suuuuuper unattractive you’re about to get in here.  It’s 18,000 tickets to the Drool Convention, at minimum.

There are 13 shades to show you, and unless you wanna be in here for the next 18 years reading a dang blog, I’ll just do a rundown of colors and meet you at the bottom.  Lessss go!

Mermaid’s Kiss, a teal/pink/green/gold shifter:

OKAY.  I’m trying not to be chatty, but COME ON.  Already with the mouth gaping?  Gah!

Late Night Kiss, a deep violet/blue/green/gold shifter:

I did see a bit of brown in this one too, but that could just be the purple and gold mixing.  Or maybe I was doing nails with one eye sleeping.  I dunno.

Satin Sheets, a pink/blue/green shifter:

Power Storm, a dusty lavender/blue shifter:

The shift in this one is STRONG.  I am struggling to stay upright.  The noodles legs are coming, I just know it.

Impossible Dream, a purple/green/gold/pink shifter:

And then …. THUD.  Someone bring the smelling salts, stat.  I mean, DUDE.  You can’t just toss in a purple with glowy green shifty business and expect normal things to happen.

Sahara Sunset, an orange/gold/green shifter:

Moonlight, a pearl white with a green/pink shift:

Clearly, this one was hard to capture.  And unless I felt like spending 27 years trying to take proper pictures of it, I had to move on.  Best blogger ever, let’s just say.

Wild Fire, a lime green with red/gold/green shift:

Okay, it’s getting serious now.  NICOLE!  What are you doing to me?  Excuse me while I lock myself in this bedroom lest hubby walk in and divorce me.  Cuz there’s only so much sexy to go around while your tongue is lolling about outside your body.

Over the Horizon, a blue/lavender/green shifter:

Ladylike composure, OUT THE WINDOW.

Bonfire, a peach/pink/gold/green shifter:

Looks mostly orange.  UGH.  Multichromes are hard, people!  An effort was made, though, so half a toot on the ole horn at least.

Ren-dez-vous, a pink/lavender/blue shifter:

Unicorn Lagoon, a bright light blue with a pink/green/gold shift:

Another favorite!  I’d lick this one if society wasn’t so dang judgy.  The lurking eyes are everywhere.

And finally, Autumn Affair, a red/copper/lime green shifter:

The Beautiful Things collection is available now, so feel free to toss the entire thing in your cart like a dadgum nail champ.  I mean, you weren’t doing anything besides wearing sweatpants today anyway. Here’s the deets:

Each polish is available in a 7ml mini or a 15ml full size.  Prices are listed in Australian dollars, but because I am the best blogger that ever blogged, I have done some work for you.  Effort on a Sunday?  If there’s a reward coming, I like Starbucks.  And Leonardo, if y’all not busy.

7ml – $11 AUD >> $8.19 USD

15ml – $20 AUD >> $14.89 USD

Now I’m not very worldly, but I’m pretty sure conversion rates fluctuate daily.  These are today’s rates only.  Tomorrow it might be a billion dollars or free.  It’s a crapshoot.

Shipping is worldwide, and there is a distribution center in the US.  I placed an order for a few of their Juicy Jellies (i.e., more nail polish you need), and it took maybe three weeks to receive my order.  That’s pretty good considering how far they travel.  Shipping time varies though, so be sure to check the site.

So what’s next?  You’re clicking here to shop, that’s what.  Then congratulate yourself on your good decisioning.  Have a great Sunday y’all!

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •