Feb28

Shimmer Me Box: March 2018 – Good Luck Charms & Symbols

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Three blog posts, three days in a row.  Seriously, who’s writing this thing cuz it damn sure isn’t me.  NO, the real me is currently in the midst of some Olympic-style couch lounging (except not in a sexy way), enjoying a 2-year-old issue of US Weekly (at some point I’ll be caught up, I swear it; until then, however, Brad and Angelina are still together as far as I’m concerned) and being the best LAZY ME that you EVER did see.  Cuz responsibilities … wellll, that’s just a thing for OTHER people.

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Feb27

Polish Pickup March 2018: Books

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Time once again for everyone’s favorite Polish Emergency cuz the March Polish Pickup is coming y’all!  Annnnd, YOU GUYS … We got us a good one.  This month’s theme is Books and I am the happiest of all things happy.  Books, gloriously smiling-to-myself-like-an-idiot BOOKS.  My first love, my best friend, the whole reason it takes me three hours to drink one tiny wine cooler.  Cuz while all the cooler kids went to parties, I read books like it was my dadgum job and quite honestly – I got the better end of the deal.  I mean, the fact I have no idea how to sip a shot of Jagermeister without holding my pinky up like a fancy lady is beside the freaking point. 

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Feb26

Moo Moo’s Signatures: Core Collection Additions – February 2018

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I was all set to do some blogging tonight but then I accidentally started cleaning the closet, and I swear I don’t even know who I am anymore.  Who accidentally cleans anything, much less a closet full of shoes never worn, a humidifier half full of water that’s most definitely turned to poison by now, and an old copy machine saved as a backup to a new copy machine for NO DADGUM GOOD REASON WHATSOEVER?  Apparently me, cuz when I suddenly get the urge to be obsessive about something, I do it in the most dramatic way possible and now there’s three giant trash bags sitting out on the curb as proof.  Plus one blog not written very timely, but then again IT’S ME YOU GUYS; I haven’t been doing anything on time for approximately 43 years.

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Feb20

BLUSH Lacquers: 1929 Collection

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Well that’s the last time I go braggin’ about our weather.  Currently sitting here on the backside of a handful of 60-degree days, basking in the joy that only a day with zero sunshine and a crap ton of freezing rain can bring.  UGH.  Why, Universe, whyyyyyyeee?  I’ve got 27 new pairs of capri pants and now nowhere to wear them, which might be the lamest thing I’ve EVER freaking written.  Seriously, if y’all need me, I’ll just be over here covered in an extraordinary amount of crocheted afghans, looking like the most miserable human of all time ever, but with a skosh of sexy as that just happens whether I want it to or not.  I mean, CROCHETED AFGHANS. Now what is your question?

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Feb18

The Holo Hookup: March 2018 – Gelato

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Some var var useful advice:  if the plan is to write a blog somewhat on time and before the things are no longer the things (i.e., most ideal scenario) then don’t sit down next to a cat giving himself a bath all distracting and cutelike.  Like, I got about two words in and then suddenly IT’S DOWN THE KITTY HOLE FOR ME and I’m literally spending all my blogging efforts trying to keep myself from sticking my face in the middle of all that adorable licking.  The possibility of getting an eyeball scratched right out (approximately 97.3855% percent) fazes me not.  Nor does a timely blog, apparently, cuz it’s about 4 days later and I’ve just now remembered I have an actual job to do.  Who’s the best most professional blogger in all the land?  I’m not saying it’s me, but it’s probably me.

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Feb13

Emily de Molly: February 2018 Releases

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In case y’all are wondering if this Lazy, Level EXPERT thing is some kind of character I play for funsies or what, a memory popped up in my Facebook today that says exactly this:

February 13, 2011 at 2:56 PM

Update:  Christmas tree is still up and it’s February 13.  I think it’s gone on so long I just don’t even see it there anymore.

Soooo, not much has changed in the past seven years.  I mean, I’ve managed to put the tree away relatively on time since then but then I’ve just replaced it with a 2-year-old pile of laundry that I continue to step around as if it’s officially become some sort of furniture or something.  Sadly, this is not a typo.  And the mama pile has begat little baby piles, and I swear all this laundry hoarding might cause divorce if I’m not mistaken.  Good thing I’m such a Trophy Wife or else we’d all be worried.

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Feb8

Shimmer Me Box: February 2018 – Chocolate Lover

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Jumping straight into the polish tonight as this Polish Emergency thing we’ve got going on just NEVER freaking ends. One of these days I’ll be a proper blogger, I swear it. In my defense though, I’ve been practicing my lounging skillz and I’m quite certain there’s an Olympic-style awards type situation headed my way any day.  Cuz I just spent the past 3 hours browsing YouTube and somehow ended up watching a video on the tips and tricks of changing your colostomy bag.  And I don’t have a colostomy bag.  Soooo … ONE TRILLION BONUS POINTS!  I can think of no one else more deserving than ME.  Cuz when I tell you I lounge on couches except not in a sexy way, well clearly I freaking MEAN IT.

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Feb5

Parrot Polish: Multichrome Madness February 2018

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If there was ever a time to focus super hardcore to like the trillionth degree, wellll … right now would be it.  Cuz multichromes are happening and y’all got no business being lounge-y, at least not today.  I mean, I wasted enough time for both of us as I fully intended to have this blog post up about 4 days ago.  BUT .. in my defense, hubby made me take off work on Friday and go have a weekend away and … UGH, my life.  And now we’re in full Polish Emergency Mode because OF COURSE WE ARE.  You’ve read this blog before right?  Cuz if I somehow manage to give you more than, sayyy, 37 minutes to buy nail polish before it goes away forever, well then CLEARLY something has happened to my brain.

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Jan31

Polish Pickup February 2018: Sugar Rush

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Time for everyone’s favorite Polish Emergency cuz the February Polish Pickup is coming y’all!  I’m doing things a little different this month as I haven’t had much free time for swatching and blogging like normal (or even lounging about on couches, which is quite possibly the lamest thing ever written).  Work has been very needy lately, what with all the people wanting their tax forms prepared in a timely manner (i.e., most ideal scenario) as opposed to the feet up, desk napping, procrasinating thing I’d rather do.   Ugh.  Fiiiine.  But I swear, if bonus points aren’t headed my way after this .. welllll .. where is Leonardo DiCaprio when you need him?  (SERIOUSLY, WHERE IS HE?)

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Jan28

Celestial Cosmetics: Back to the 80s Collection

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I had a dream about a spreadsheet last night if that gives you any indication on what I’ve been doing for the past 7 days.  GUYS.  I’ve been so busy at work doing actual work-related things, walking from my office to other offices, being productive and efficient and the complete opposite of lounge-y, that I damn near don’t recognize myself anymore.  I mean, I’m not as skinny as you might expect, what with all the steps I’ve been putting on my fitness app, but my feet aren’t up on my desk AT ALL and I’m like, Who is this person?!, cuz the real me has clearly been kidnapped.

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