Lunchtime nap? Or write a blog? Nap? Blog? Nap? Blog?  This has been my brain for about the past 20 minutes all while simultaneously wasting valuable break time deciding how I’m going to spend my valuable break time. Clearly, I’m doing it wrong. AGAIN. Booooo.  

Sounds about right though.  Same deal with this speed blog thing I’m attempting to do; so far, it’s a disaster with a big fat fail on top.  Seriously, if defeating your own purpose is some kind of seemingly unattainable goal for normal people, I have officially gone overachievingly NOT NORMAL approximately 18,000 times.  Soooo … If you’re looking for the perfect time to send over some bonus points, right now would be it. 

While we wait, let’s talk polish! The Thanksgiving/Black Friday frenzy is upon us and already the hives are lurking. SO MUCH SWATCHING. SO MUCH BLOGGING. Y’all better be lapping this up, cuz I don’t carpal tunnel for no dadgum good reason, just so you know. 

Take a look at this:

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Do you see all that GREEEEEN in there?  Gah! My brain wasn’t working all that well already (what with the nap-slash-blogging-slash-wasting time fandango) but now if anything gets done for the rest of the day, it’ll be some kinda Christmas miracle. Green = brain function, out the FREAKING window. 

These is the Scofflaw Varnish Holiday 2017 Limited Edition Trio. And you’re buying it. All other points are moot. 

 VELVETEEN RABBIT

DESCRIPTION:  A soft taupe with delicate blue shimmer and silver holo and opalescent flecks

OPACITY:  Two easy coats and a color just dark enough to make my sad, white sausages look less sad and sausage-y. Hooray!

REGRETS FROM THE HOLIDAY OFFICE PARTY

DESCRIPTION:  A mint green crelly with white shimmer flecks and pale gold, greens, mint, white and red glitters

OPACITY:  Three thin, careful coats. The formula here is thicker than average due to the heavy glitter load, so I added several drops of thinner to aid application.  However, sometimes I just suck at nails so honestly, what do I know realllly?  Other than a blog full of ridiculousness, I’d say NOT MUCH. 

THAT DAMN CAT IS IN THE TREE

DESCRIPTION:  A green jelly swimming with red/gold shifting multichrome flakies and gold shards

OPACITY:  Three coats, primarily cuz CAN’T. STOP. POLISHING. Could’ve done a billion, but I gave up after three. I’m not very good at goals, let’s just say. 

THE ROUND UP 

This trio releases on Thanksgiving, November 23 at 7pm CST, so while you’re recovering from your 17th bowl of mashed potatoes (or maybe that’s just me), you can be useful and spend a little money at least. Otherwise you are just a log on a couch with her pants undone, and THAT causes divorce if I’m not mistaken.

Regrets from the Holiday Office Party will retail for $9; the other two will be $12.

POLISH EMERGENCY ALERT! These will only be available through the Thanksgiving weekend. Snag ‘em by Sunday, November 26 before they’re gone FOREVER. Are you properly panicked? Well, you should be.

Other Black Friday specials include the annual mystery prototype release ($10 each), the annual restock of David Bowie’s Bulge ($9 – or priceless cuz HOW CAN YOU NOT?!) and core color restock ($6.50 each). Check out the site and make your list!  Or just toss polish in the shopping cart all willy nilly like me. 

Where to buy:  http://www.scofflawvarnish.com

Extra clicking for bonus points! Connect with Scofflaw Varnish:

Instagram

Facebook

Whew! One blog down, 7,387 left to go. Get ready y’all. A frenzy is coming.  

Later, loves!

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Happy Friday y’all! Who else is lounging about wearing sweat pants with one hand in the Cheetos bag?  I mean, I’m not, but certainly there’s someone out there living my dream life.  Cuz that dang diet thing just won’t go away. Now there’s a calorie tracker involved – and I’m pretty sure at this point, getting out of this potato chip-free HELL will never freaking end.  Ugh.

So while I just sit here and downright starve to death, let’s look at pretty things. Drama level at an all-time high?  Prolly. But it’s either that or the Land of a Thousand Starbucks which apparently has been officially cancelled and deleted. Booooo.

Okay. Nail polish. Got more goodies from Finch with Scofflaw Varnish to share with you today.  Take a look at these lovelies:

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Welp. If we can’t bury our face in a crap ton of Funyuns, we can fill our hearts with flakies instead.  Flakies make everything skinnier anyway. Or else I dreamed that. I dunno.

This is the Halloween limited edition mini collection, and I. STINKIN. LOOOOOVE. You know, I’m all for your typical oranges and purples and blacks, but this is a nice little change for Halloween polish.  Plus, I look like a hand model, sooooo … I’m not saying these are all magical perfection, but they’re probably all magical perfection.

Here’s your quick rundown of colors. Brace yourself for 27 levels of a swoon-y situation. Go!

I BIND YOU NANCY

DESCRIPTION:  A grey shimmer crelly with cherry red metallic micro shards, violet sparks and warm pink-carmine sparkle flecks and highlights

OPACITY:  Two luscious coats

WHERE DID THAT SPIDER GO?

DESCRIPTION:  A grey shimmer crelly with copper/green multichrome flakies, scattered holo and packed with a golden/copper/green shifting shimmer and flash

OPACITY:  Two coats here too; again, MAGICAL

668: NEIGHBOR OF THE BEAST

DESCRIPTION:  A grey shimmer crelly packed with blue and silver sparkles, blue/purple iridescence and multiple shades of blue flakies and shimmer highlights

OPACITY:  Once again, two coats; I sense an epidemic

THE ROUND UP 

Who’s surprised those were all grey crellies?  ME TOO!  Seriously, sometimes nail polish is some straight up voodoo. Which also most likely explains the 2,397 bottles all over my kitchen table.

In other words, good news! You’re buying these. Here’s your shopping deets:

Full 3-piece set $30

Single bottles $10 each

And THEN! If you purchase the entire trio, you get a treat!  Free shipping within the US, which basically equals a legit justification-type scenario to like the trillionth degree.

Where to buy:  http://www.scofflawvarnish.com/

Now click more things! Connect with Scofflaw Varnish:

Instagram

Facebook

Okay, get on it, boo boos! This mini collection is available and ready for the shopping cart (in case you didn’t know).

Later, loves!

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Went to bed at 2am last night versus the 3am I’ve been doing lately and about carpal tunneled myself via a high fiving frenzy for going to bed “early”, being responsible and normal and whatnot. Seriously, what has happened to my life?  If I wasn’t such a Trophy Wife, we’d all be worried.

Time for a Speed Blog!  Finch from Scofflaw Varnish sent me her new Fall 2017 Collection several weeks ago, and because I’m sooooo good at blogging, I’m just now getting around to writing a review.  Good things there’s a restock happening today or else all this’d be moot.  Cuz I don’t effort for no dadgum good reason, but then again, you’ve read this blog before.

I’m panicking a little and trying to hurry as I don’t want polishes to disappear before y’all get a chance to spend all your money.  Cuz it’s Friday, guys!  And you’re sitting around wearing sweatpants doing nothing anyway.  So let’s get this going.  Take a look at what you’re buying:

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A crelly EXTRAVAGANZA!  I see glitter!  I see holo!  I see 18,000 bottles in your shopping cart!  (Well, prolly.)  Who’s in the mood for complete rational behavior?  CERTAINLY NOT YOU.

All of these polishes are just gorgeous with such fun glitter mixes.  Really nice formulas too, which can be tricky with glitter crellies.  No gloop!  And for that fact alone, we lub them lots.  Each one was two coats for me but some may need three depending on application.  Although, I don’t always do nails good cuz half the time one eye is sleeping, so what do I know, really?  A ridiculous blog, YES.  Useful information?  A crapshoot.

Super quick rundown of colors.  Lesss go!

SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING

DESCRIPTION:  A pale yellow shimmer crelly base with brown, red, white and neon coral glitters

FIST FULL OF FOXES

DESCRIPTION:  A creamy tan crelly base with copper, ice blue and peach glitters and golden shimmer

GORDON COLE’S BLUE ROSE

DESCRIPTION:  A cornflower blue creme with bright blue shimmer and grey flecks

A RUN-BY FRUITING

DESCRIPTION:  A rich purple creme with purple, silver and gunmetal shimmer and flakes

CONVERSATIONS WITH INANIMATE OBJECTS 

DESCRIPTION:  A robin’s egg blue crelly with brown, grey and lavender glitters and delicate blue shimmer

SANSA GET YOUR GUN

DESCRIPTION:  A dusty faded pink crelly with grey, black, white, gunmetal and rose glitters and delicate shimmer

Yep.  You want all that.  Unless you don’t like pretty things.  Or you have no eyes.  I dunno.

In addition to the collection, Finch also made us a duo.  It’s the Bill & Ted Duo, guys, i.e., another thing you’re buying.  Take a look:

BE EXCELLENT TO EACH OTHER 

DESCRIPTION:  A black jelly packed with rainbow shimmer, flakes, glitters and flecks

Two smooth coats of this one!  It’s an excellent staple black holo in case you’re looking for one.  (You are.)

AND PARTY ON DUDES!

DESCRIPTION:  A glitter topper with white, turquoise, blue, purple and violet glitters

Look at all that overachieve-y on display!  Toppers are hard to swatch, so I wanted to make sure you know there’s options.  Over black, over white, even on naked nails.  Who’s the best most thorough blogger in all the land?  I’m not even telling you cuz you already know.

(Okay, it’s me.  I got scared you weren’t sure.)

THE ROUND UP 

Okay now FOCUS.  Restock is LIVE.  Go, go, go!  Before the things are no longer the things and you leave this blog so sad and polish-less.  Here’s your shopping deets:

The 6-piece fall collection is available in single bottles for $9 each.

The Bill & Ted duo is $17 for both, or you can buy Be Excellent to Each Other by itself for $9.  If you want the glitter topper, you have to get the duo.  BUT YOU WERE DOING THAT ANYWAY so what is your question?

Where to buy:  http://www.scofflawvarnish.com

Now, the linky loos!  Connect with Scofflaw:

Instagram

Facebook

Oh, and the Polish Con limited editions are also available.  You can see swatches on the website ORRRRR! you can read the review I did last week by clicking here.  You know, in case you don’t go tossing polish in the cart all willy nilly like me.

EDITED TO ADD: The Polish Con LEs are officially gone. When I say Polish Emergency, clearly I MEAN IT. 

Alright.  Go get your pretties!

Later, loves!

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