Tag Archives: fair maiden polish

Polish Pickup March 2018: Books



Time once again for everyone’s favorite Polish Emergency cuz the March Polish Pickup is coming y’all!  Annnnd, YOU GUYS … We got us a good one.  This month’s theme is Books and I am the happiest of all things happy.  Books, gloriously smiling-to-myself-like-an-idiot BOOKS.  My first love, my best friend, the whole reason it takes me three hours to drink one tiny wine cooler.  Cuz while all the cooler kids went to parties, I read books like it was my dadgum job and quite honestly – I got the better end of the deal.  I mean, the fact I have no idea how to sip a shot of Jagermeister without holding my pinky up like a fancy lady is beside the freaking point. 


Polish Pickup February 2018: Sugar Rush



Time for everyone’s favorite Polish Emergency cuz the February Polish Pickup is coming y’all!  I’m doing things a little different this month as I haven’t had much free time for swatching and blogging like normal (or even lounging about on couches, which is quite possibly the lamest thing ever written).  Work has been very needy lately, what with all the people wanting their tax forms prepared in a timely manner (i.e., most ideal scenario) as opposed to the feet up, desk napping, procrasinating thing I’d rather do.   Ugh.  Fiiiine.  But I swear, if bonus points aren’t headed my way after this .. welllll .. where is Leonardo DiCaprio when you need him?  (SERIOUSLY, WHERE IS HE?)


Fair Maiden Polish: Polish Pickup January 2018



This blogging this has suddenly taken a var var serious turn.  Cuz in-laws are coming for the holidays, and now I can’t sit and stare at a blank screen for like 18 hours straight like normal.  Hubby says blogging in the bedroom with the door shut is RUDE, and also I have to put clothes on, soooo … Merry Christmas y’all.  Hope you’re enjoying your pajama-full life.  I’ll just be over here NOT BLOGGING and wearing clothes like a crazy person.  Ugh.


Fair Maiden Polish: Polish Pickup December 2017



OMG, are we done yet?  NO.  Welcome to your Bonus Blog! Y’all better be loving this cuz who carpal tunnels for no dadgum good reason?  NOT THIS LADY!

Making it short and sweet once again cuz I’m really trying to keep the momentum going.  I mean, I finished some swatching about three hours ago and then spent the next eternity changing the wallpaper in my fake bakery, sooooo .. things are going quite well on the blogging front, clearly.  How I’m not finished with all 7,397 drafts in the queue is beyond allll the comprehensions.


Fair Maiden Polish: Tipsy Christmas Collection + Black Friday Deals


Three hours from mashed potatoes and I. CAN’T. WAIT.  Thought I would pop on real quick and talk about some nail polish because honestly I don’t know what sort of shape I’ll be in later.  It’s a day full of carbs, y’all!  Plus a diet soda, you know, for SAFETY.

It really sucks to be counting calories on Thankgiving cuz everything I want has gravy on it.  I suppose I could go sans gravy, but OMG!, I about cried just typing that.  Blah.  I’m not even gonna pretend that’s normal.

So I’ve officially declared today a cheat day.  I’ll try to be somewhat good, but maybe let’s keep the judgy eyes to a minimum just in case.  Who’s that log on the couch with her pants undone, clearly being sexy but desperately trying to stay married?  Yeah, that’s me, prettttty sure.

Okay.  Nail polish.  Let’s go!  Here is something beautiful from Sarah and Adrienne, the lovely ladies behind Fair Maiden Polish.  You want this:


Told ya.  18,000 bottles, and in the cart they go!  Cuz now is not the time for rational behavior.

This is the Tipsy Christmas collection, a set of 4 soft-toned shades loaded with all sorts of multi-dimensional goodies.  Flakies and holo and jaw-dropping shifts … seriously guys, if you haven’t already drooled in roughly a thousand buckets, well then you are most definitely a robot.

A glorious parade of colors.  Brace yourself for the swoons!


DESCRIPTION:  An elegant sage green with intense copper flame and subtle holographic hints

OPACITY:  Three coats plus glossy top coat


DESCRIPTION:  A creamy soft lavender with red shimmer flame, subtle violet/gold shift with holo sparkle

OPACITY:  Three coats plus glossy top coat


DESCRIPTION:  A rosy gold multichrome with magenta/copper/gold shift and holo sparkle throughout

OPACITY:  Two coats plus glossy top coat


DESCRIPTION:  A muted blue with holo sparkle and teal to purple chroma shifting flakies

OPACITY:  Two coats plus glossy top coat


Want, want and 27 levels of YES PLEASE.  That’s your new motto.

This collection releases tonight, November 23 at 11pm CST.  So despite that mashed potato coma you’re in, you will FIND A WAY to get your shopping done.  Fair Maiden up top, people!  I’m serious.  Here’s all you need to know:

Full set of 4 polishes retail for $43 (full size) or $28 (mini size)

Single bottles retail for $11

HOWEVER!  There’s a coupon.  Use code TIPSY25 at checkout to receive 25% off your order.  Whyyyyy, that’s practically free!  All the more reason to toss nail polish in the cart with your eyes closed.  Weeee!

Other deals:

* 14 prototype mystery polishes

* Free Holiday 2017 polish with $50+ order (automatically added to cart; no effort!)

* The $5 doorbuster polish, It’s Lit, will be available but capped at 100 bottles; once it’s gone – it’s gone FOREVER!  Soooo … first in line then?  YEP, sounds about right.  

Discount does not apply to the doorbuster and there’s a 2 bottle max.  To see my review of It’s Lit (plus 14 other polishes in the Indie Brand Collective Black Friday sale), click here.

Where to buy:  http://www.fairmaidenpolish.com

Bonus clicking opportunities!  Connect with Fair Maiden Polish:



Fan Group

Alright, that’s it.  Gotta get my game plan ready for dinner.  Most likely involving stretchy pants, as there isn’t a no-pants option while out in public.  Ugh, SOCIETY.  You are ZERO fun sometimes.

Later, loves!


Indie Brand Collective: Black Friday Exclusives


Ooooh, something exciting is happening! The ultimate pajama lounging experience of your life. A Black Friday to elbow jab all the other Black Fridays. And an opportunity to hoard alllll the things cuz no one does Crazy Nail Lady quite like you. Did your Shopping Hand just get twitchy?  Cuz honestly, that’s only the beginning. Get ready for drools and swoons and 27 other levels of ladylike-type scenarios.  Cuz the Indie Brand Collective is back and it’s about to get some kinda sexy in here, just so you know.

A little rundown on the IBC before we start. Organized by Liz of Pretty Jelly, the IBC is a collective sale site where customers can view all participating shops in one place and use one universal sale code to shop them all during the specific sale period – in this case, Black Friday weekend.  The sale code will mean different things for each shop, so you can visit the IBC site, click on each brand and find all the details regarding sale terms and conditions and convenient links to take you directly to their store. Cuz why waste time in figuring all that out by yourself when Liz has already done the hard part for you?  Liz gets a horn toot, a half of one at least.

Currently there are about 36 brands participating.  More could be added before the sale goes live, so be sure to keep checking the list of shops for changes.  About 14 of those brands are offering exclusive polishes for the sale and that is what I’ll be showing you today.  Y’all ready? Well then lessss go! A Noodle Leg EXTRAVAGANZA! is happening in 3 .. 2 .. 1 ..


See?  You already want all of them.  You’re about to spend some money, I can already tell.

Suuuuuper picture-y blog today with tons of important info, so in an effort to not spend the next 18 years in here, I’ll keep the chatty to a minumum.  For once, maybe I’ll be a proper blogger or something!  Well, we’ll see.  I dunno.  Stupid words tend to come out whether I want them to or not.

Ugh, already wasting time.  GUYS!  The nail polish:


DESCRIPTION:  A clear base with light olive green microglitter and purple shreds

OPACITY:  Swatch shows 4 coats plus top coat

Intended as a topper, but I’ve swatched Cynthia’s toppers before on naked nails and they always turn out exquisite. And four coats sounds like effort to about the trillionth degree, but they were an effortless four coats and .. well .. you had me at effortless.

Aside from all that, this polish would make for some awesome party manis. Someone do that for me and tag me in it. I’ll just be over here wearing an extraordinary amount of pajamas.

Price:  $9/17ml or $4.50/8ml

Sale code T&C:  20% off entire purchase; free shipping with $50+ purchase; international shipping

Shop | Instagram | Facebook


DESCRIPTION:  A metallic mauve holographic with silver holo flakies, rose gold glitter flakes and subtle red/indigo/violet shift

OPACITY:  Two coats, but one covered really well

How precious is this color?  Ugh.  As far as pinks go, it’s pretty much pink, level EXPERT.  If you’re not buying this, let’s have a chat about priorities, shall we? Cuz how can you enjoy sitting amongst all that “electricity” and “running water” without this lovely pink holo in your life? Spoiler alert: you can’t.

Annnnnd then!  A double dose of Black Dahlia.  For real bonus points come to LIFE.  Check it out:


DESCRIPTION:  A dark gunmetal crelly with blackened green to purple duochrome shift, silvery blue and dark violet flakies and champagne/red and purple/blue shifting glitter flakes

OPACITY:  Two coats

Formula here isn’t quite as opaque as the other one, but it’s pretty dang close.  About one-and-a-half coats to be exact, except I don’t think that’s a thing.  Regardless, it went on easy and it’s full of yummy deliciousness.  Flakies, guys, FLAKIES.  And for that fact alone, we lub it lots.

Price: $10.75/14ml or $6.75/8ml

Sales code T&C:  20% discount; purchases $25+ get Four Leaf Clover for free; purchases $40+ get free cuticle oil; purchases $75+ will get free top and base coat; international shipping

Shop | Instagram | Facebook


DESCRIPTION:  A white crelly with pink and gold chameleon chrome flakies and strong pink shimmer

OPACITY:  Two smooth and silky coats; a Polish Mountain waiting to happen

One swipe down the nail and .. ugh.  DEAD.  This color is STINKIN’ GLORIOUS.  The shimmer! The flakies! The tongue lolling about outside my body!  Told ya it was about to get sexy in here.

My polish is a tribute to the delightfully tacky yet unrefined city I call home.  When I think of how John Waters, our Baltimore hometown hero, would celebrate Christmas, I imagine plastic white trees covered with pink flamingo Christmas lights and just glowing.  I wanted to capture that feeling.

— Jen, Bohemian Polish

And soooo … we’ll take 18,000 bottles.

Price: $12

Sale code T&C:  40% off; free tote to all orders $35+ while supplies last; international shipping

Shop | Instagram | Facebook


DESCRIPTION:  A holographic gold metallic base with subtle green shift, iridescent pink flakies and gold shimmer

OPACITY:  Listen, I did 3 coats.  It only needed 2.  My brain has clearly gone away somewhere.

First time using this brand, and I was quite impressed!  This is a lovely gold and the formula was nice and easy.  A perfect shade for anytime, but it’ll make a great base for some holiday nail art.  Or maybe you just need an excuse to be festive?  These nails are begging for it, let’s just say.  They also say NAP TIME! although that might be just me.  

Price: $10.50

Sale code T&C:  30% discount; first 20 orders get a free 8ml mystery polish; international shipping

Shop | Instagram | Facebook


DESCRIPTION:  A super sparkly periwinkle holographic with violet flame and red/gold/indigo shift

OPACITY:  Two coats

Formula was easy although it can get gloopy if you work it too much.  DON’T DO IT.  I mean it.  Just swipe then leave it alone.  It’ll all work out, I swear.  I mean, I go ultra perfectionist and ruin pretty much everything about 97.74658% of the time ALL so you won’t have to.  In other words, I did this mani twice.  Oops.

Lastly, BLING LEVEL is at an all time high.  Mercy.

Price: $5 (or practically free)

Sale code T&C:  25% off entire shop; international shipping

Shop | Instagram | Facebook | Fan Group


DESCRIPTION:  A cranberry holographic with sparkling pink and red microflake shimmers

OPACITY:  Two coats on ring finger and three coats on the rest; the thicker your coats are the less you need (science!)

So glowy! And sexy and vampy and all sorts of drool-y.  Sad we’re still only at the beginning cuz how unattractive am I gonna be later?  (VERY.)

Thanksgiving approached so the fairy prepared / Her cranberry magic, not that sugar plum fare / She made the food delicious and atmosphere merry / Thanksgiving was good thanks to Cranberry Fairy.

This polish is inspired by the Cranberry Fairy who visits every home the night before Thanksgiving to enchant the foods with deliciousness.  Her magic is also the reason many of us pass out after enjoying the feast.  Just don’t mention her sister, The Sugar Plum Fairy.  There’s some sibling rivalry going on there.

— Cassie, Lemming Lacquer

I could use one of those Cranberry Fairies.  Cuz salad with just some lemon squeezed on it is not quite a delicious as you’d expect.  Seriously y’all, this diet is LAME.  Is skinny happening soon?  Cuz the Cheeto withdrawals are a dire thing.

Price:  $12

Sale code T&C: 25% off $20+ purchases

Shop | Instagram | Facebook | Fan Group


DESCRIPTION:  A clear base with blue/violet shifting shimmer

OPACITY:  Swatch shows two coats on naked nails.  At first I tried three coats, but it got too thick and then disaster ensued. I really really suck at nails sometimes.  It was also 2am on a work night and one eye was already sleeping, sooo …

Formula is thicker than average due to all the shimmer packed in.  I mean, SO MUCH SHIMMER!  It dries slightly textured and semi-matte, but once you add top coat – HOLY MOLY!  Complete driving hazard.  Potholes come straight out of nowhere with this one.

One coat over black for funsies!

Price:  $10

Sale code T&C:  30% off entire purchase; no minimum; international shipping

Shop | Instagram | Fan Group


DESCRIPTION:  A silver foil with gold and silver flakies

OPACITY:  Two coats

This one is actually opaque in almost one coat, which works out perfect for those who like to do quick nails and then go be productive and accomplish some shit. So, like, opposite of me, then. Cuz I do nails with a splash of other things, like breathing with a touch of dishes thrown in so hubby won’t divorce me.

Price:  $9.95

Sale code T&C:  40% discount; buy three or more polishes and get the exclusive for free

Shop | Instagram


DESCRIPTION:  A teal/purple/blue multichrome with some sparkly bits; I added that last part (clearly I did)

OPACITY:  Two coats

Easy to apply, medium thick formula.  There really isn’t much else to say about it cuz multichromes make me stoooopid.  Brain’s stopped holding my mouth closed and the Ugly Ecstasy Face is so dire.  If I somehow manage to stay married after this, it’ll be a dadgum miracle.  Y’all need this!

Price: $8

Sale code T&C:  20% discount; surprise gift with every purchase; orders $80+ ship free; ships international

Shop | Instagram | Facebook | Fan Group


DESCRIPTION:  An indigo purple holographic with iridescent purple/blue shifting glitter, aqua/purple/pink shifting flakies, slight blue to pink shift and a rainbow of chameleon chrome shifting flakies

OPACITY:  Two ultra glide-y coats

Ummmm, do you see all those goodies in there?  How this polish doesn’t cost like a billion dollars defies allll the comprehensions.  Although considering how much we’d pay for a bottle full of magic, even a billion dollars makes sense.  For half a second, but still.  Purple lovers, get on this!

Price: $12

Sale code T&C:  50% discount; first 49 orders that are $49+ will get the exclusive for free; free shipping for $60+ purchases; international shipping

Shop | Instagram | Facebook | Fan Group


DESCRIPTION:  A purple/pink/copper/orange multichrome shifter with cosmic holographic flakies

OPACITY:  Two nice and smooth coats

GUYS.  Another multichrome!  Our best day ever just got best-i-er.  That shift is LEGIT gorgeous and then you go tossing flakies on top and OMG, I swear I’ll never be normal again.  If you haven’t drooled in a thousand buckets at this point, I feel var var sad about your brain.

Price:  $11

Sale code T&C:  35% discount; purchases of $50+ get the exclusive for free plus free shipping

Shop | Instagram | Facebook | Fan Group


DESCRIPTION: A dusty periwinkle with copper shimmer and rainbow multichrome flakies

OPACITY:  Two coats

All you really had to say is copper shimmer and now not much happens after that.  Good thing we’re nearing the end, otherwise we might be sitting in this blog for nigh on eternity.  I mean, there’s plenty of nail polish but barely any mashed potatoes and THAT, my friends, is a nightmare with a travesty and a sad face on top.

OMG what?  Shut up, Brain.  Stupid words have officially come out, which we were all expecting at some point anyway.

Price: $10

Sale code T&C: 35% discount; free 5ml mini polish for the first 30 orders; order $40+ get the exclusive for free; orders $75+ get free shipping; international shipping

Shop | Instagram | Facebook | Fan Group


DESCRIPTION:  A black jelly base with platinum silver micro flakies and beautiful shifting chameleon glitter

OPACITY:  Three thin coats

Another one just LOADED with sparkly bits.  I’m on the verge of a loss for words. I’ve been writing this post for like 18 years, trying to come up with something clever to say that hasn’t already been said. It’s nigh on impossible. It is what it is: beautiful, stunning, lovely, gorgeous – all of the pretty words poured in a bottle.

Price:  $11

Sale code T&C:  20% discount; orders $50+ get free shipping; first 30 orders of $25+ get the exclusive for free; international shipping

Shop | Instagram | Facebook | Fan Group


DESCRIPTION:  A blackened green jelly with holo and green sparks

OPACITY:  Three coats

Well if we’re gonna end this thing properly, there better be a green one!  And it’s soooo gorgeous you guys.  GAH!  My heart hurts just looking at it.  Don’t mind me!  Just crying over nail polish.  COMPLETELY NORMAL BEHAVIOR, just so you know.

Price: $6

Sale code T&C:  30% discount; international shipping; free Turtle Tootsie pen while supplies last; first 50 orders get a Turtle Tootsie Post-It note folder full of Post-It notes (OMG, dream scenario!  Office supplies:  GIMME.)

Shop | Instagram | Facebook | Fan Group


Who’s still upright?  Not a dadgum one of us, that’s who.  All this pretty all in one place all at the same time.  If any one of you has managed to somehow WALK AWAY, well then perhaps you are a robot cuz nothing else seems logical.  Unless Leonardo is involved, that is.  With Leonardo, everyone gets a pass.

Now, FOCUS.  Very important sale info ahead!

DATE/TIME:  Friday, November 24 at 12am EST through Monday, November 27 at 11:59pm EST

DISCOUNT CODE:  Enter IBCFRIDAY at checkout in all participating shops to receive discounts and goodies pertaining to each shop

WHERE:  Shopping takes place at the individual stores, but the collective information can be found in one convenient site by clicking here

During the sale, customers can interact with each other and the various makers by joining the sale group.  Click here and hang around a bit.  Flash giveaways might happen, and you won’t wanna miss it.

That’s it!  We made it!  You may officially get off your no-buys, ladies, cuz a legit justification-type scenario has just landed in your lap like no big deal.  Get your wallets handy and set those alarms!  Cuz who’s missing out on all this yummy Black Friday goodness?  CERTAINLY NOT YOU.

Later, loves!


Fair Maiden Polish: Polish Pickup November 2017


GUYS. The Polish Pickup sale has officially commenced and guess who still has 7,397 blogs to write? Gah!  I’m pretty sure the unfortunate lack of Cheetos is to blame.  Cuz Cheetos is brain food, or at least my brain food, and without it I am directionless, adrift at sea.  And you do not want that, trust me. Cuz I’ve been snorkeling in Mexico without a lifejacket and crying in front of strangers, and THAT is no bueno.

Gotta keep the chatty to practically nil, otherwise I’ll be in here telling you things after the things are no longer the things. And considering how often people just looooooove that, I’m assuming an effort to get the hell on with it would be the most ideal. So let’s jump into some nail polish! Here’s something beautiful from Fair Maiden Polish:


And in one fell swoop, jaws are dropping, everywhere. Do you see that shifty goodness? And the flakies?!  OMG, I’m trying very hard to stay a lady, but the Ugly Ecstasy Face is so dire.  If I manage to stay married after this, it’d be a damn near miracle. 

As mentioned, the November theme is Fandoms and Sarah and Adrienne were inspired by Pusheen, an adorably tubby little kitty who you’ve probably seen on Facebook as a sticker/emoji type thing.  Now she’s on t-shirts and lunch boxes and has her own subscription service.  Sooo lazy, yet so famous now. She gives me hope that all the time I’ve spent in pajamas will pay off big time somehow.  Universe, get on that, STAT!

Look how precious:

I WANT THAT KITTY!  Basically she’s my spirit animal, although I’m less adorably tubby and more just regular tubby and I don’t know what kind of rude sort of science that is, but someone needs to STOP IT.

On a lighter note, this polish is the perfect embodiment of Pusheen. Sarah and Adrienne have done it again! Although did anyone expect otherwise?  NO WE DID NOT.


DESCRIPTION:  A light grey holo with magenta/copper/golden-green color shifting shimmer, holographic flakies, iridescent red/gold/green chameleon glitter and berry/gold/blue/violet multichrome iridescent flakies

That’s a lot of goodies! How this thing doesn’t cost like a billion dollars defies allllll the comprehensions.  Although considering how much we’d all pay for a bottle full of magic, it still sounds pretty reasonable.

Okay, I’m not saying I have a nail polish problem, but I probably have a nail polish problem. SEND HELP. Except don’t, or I will cut you. 

OPACITY:  Three thin coats, if you’re curious.  And then HAPPINESS FOR EVERYONE!  Cuz FLAKIES, guys. They’ll getcha good. 

Soooo .. you need this. Cuz walking away from this lovely thing makes no dadgum bit of sense. Unless you don’t like happiness. Or maybe you have no eyes. I dunno. 

So Lazy Can’t Move will retail for $11, which leaves plenty of money left over for 18,000 more bottles. Rational behavior? I think YES.

Polish Pickup sale is in full swing now, so get on it boo boos!  You have until end of day Monday, November 6 to toss polish in the shopping cart. Although why wait until Monday? You were just sitting around wearing sweatpants doing nothing anyway. Well, if you’re me.  OR PUSHEEN. 

Need more info on the Polish Pickup? Click here for the FAQs. Same deal, different theme, every month.

WHAT: 50+ indie polish brands all coming together for a one-stop shop event; you buy one or all, it’s up to you! Flat $3 shipping no matter what. 

WHERE: http://www.PolishPickup.com

Okay, only one more blog to go. And three days left in the sale. Well, that’s still technically on time, right?  RIGHT.  Ugh, one of these days I swear I’ll be a proper blogger. 

Later, loves!