Octopus Party Nail Lacquer: Game of Thrones Trio

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In a random act of extreme short-lived inspiration, I pulled all my work pants out of the closet and threw them on the bathroom floor in preparation for laundry.  Four days later, they are still there.  It’s amazing how long a person can continue to walk around a pile of dirty clothes on the floor.  At this point, it’s just become furniture.  It may stay there for eons with light years and eternities on top, you know, depending on when hubby decides to put it in the washing machine.  Cuz while I am quite aware the pile only exists cuz of Pants-Pulling Frenzy circa 96 hours ago, I can also ignore laundry like a dadgum champion.

Currently, I have three separate piles of clothes going.  One is a basket of clean ones that have actually sat there long enough for them to have probably become dirty again through simple neglect.  The other two are basketless, which the housekeeper just vacuums around every week, most likely in a judgy kind of way.  Listen, the whole reason I have a housekeeper is because of those piles; otherwise, what would be the point then?  You don’t get to Lazy, Level EXPERT by putting away your own laundry, I’ll tell ya that much. 

In related news, the only thing left in my closet pants-wise is a pair of green khakis that I haven’t fit into properly since 2009.  So work on Friday was almost a no-pants-HR-violation sort of scenario, but I chose to just leave them unbuttoned for 9 hours instead.  I mean, they were (mostly) zipped up all the way, at least.  Pretty sure that still qualifies as business casual.  Although the no-pants option would have been enjoyed immensely, just to be clear.

While we wait for another wave of laundry inspiration to hit (might be never; I dunno), I have a real life polish emergency to share.  It might be the most emergency-est of all time, so pay super close attention just in case.  Look:

It’s a multichrome EXTRAVAGANZA! straight from our pal Dave at Octopus Party Nail Lacquer.  This is the Game of Thrones / A Song of Fire and Ice trio, three spectacular shifty, shimmery dreamboats that you’re about fall in love with super hardcore.  However, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, they’re only available for 22 hours.  After that, it’s a sad state of affairs for everyone.  So get off your no-buys people, as this is a legit polish emergency and therefore justified to the trillionth percent.

First up is Sweet Summer Child:

Okay, so this is how it’s gonna be?  With the mouth gaping and the tongue lolling?  We just got started!  I’ll be divorced by the end of this blog, seeing how unattractive I’m about to get.  There’s only so much sexy to go around while holding a drool bucket, ya know?

So this one is a red-toned purple with magenta shift that turns a little orange at extreme angles.  There’s a bit of blue shimmer and iridescent flakies mixed in as well for extra specialness.  Excellent, opaque formula in basically one coat.  Except I did two cuz CAN’T STOP POLISHING.  I lub it so much.

Macros, in case you want to pass out a little:

That orange shimmer is a bit shy under lamps.  Outside in shade or on cloudy days, you can see it much better.  Here’s a very lame attempt:

Points for putting pants on though.  Best blogger ever, is what you’re thinking.

Next up is Stoneheart:

Gah!  How are we still upright?  Someone needs to roll me over a couch in case of surprise fainting.  Bring a Starbucks.  And Leonardo, just in case.  One must always be prepared.  Cuz someone’s holding the big leaf fan, and hell if it’s me.

If you love bright pink, this one is bright pink times a billion.  It’s a glorious shimmery fuchsia with an orange shift in extreme angles.  I don’t have an outdoor photo of this one due to only one pants-on session per day allowed.  But if you look at the top of the bottle, you can see that orange peeking out.  And there’s purple shimmer too, for maximum drool effect.

A ridiculous display of pretty:

Yep, you’re about to spend some money.  I can already tell.

Lastly, here’s I Drink and I Know Things:

This one is my favorite.  Cuz there’s nothing better than a green and purple combo.  Well, except for biscuits and gravy.  Or, like a jumbo bag of Funyuns and the house to yourself.  But after that, NOTHING.

Macros to seal the deal:

Seriously, though.  The flakies.  The dadgum flakies!  How you’re able to turn your back on this one, it’s beyond comprehension.  Maybe you don’t like happiness.  Maybe you have no eyes.  I dunno.  Either way, I’m var var concerned about the state of your brain.

One more:

Gotcha.  I knew it would.

The round up:

This trio will be available tomorrow, March 26 (or could be this evening in certain time zones) from midnight through 10pm EST.  That’s a mere 22 hours to organize your life.  If you miss the window, well how sad will you be then?  (Very.)  In other words, just do what I say.  I MEAN IT.

Cost will be $11 each and shipping for all three is only $4.  Click here to shop!  Then sit back, relax and revel in your excellent decision skills.  Toots for you! (And gift cards for me.)

I’m gonna go stare at this pile of laundry and see if anything happens. Maybe (hopefully) magic or teleportation, at the minimum, lest I have to display some sort of effort on a Saturday night.  In which the words NO BUENO come immediately to mind.  Ugh.

Later, loves!

Monthly Awareness Polish Box: April 2017

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GUYS.  It’s spring.  It’s finally SPRING!  Here’s some thoughts:

1. Even when it’s a bad day, it’s still a pretty good one.  Chances are the sun is shining, the grass is green, and it’s not 8000-degrees below zero.  I don’t know about you, but all of those things make me instantly happy.  My dead winter self has come back to life, y’all!  Still not putting pants on though.

2. My wedding anniversary is coming up soon.  Which means I have somehow, YET AGAIN, managed to stay married for another year.  Has the world done tilted sideways?  Or perhaps hubby likes a woman in a constant state of robe-wearing, lounging on couches, but not in a sexy way?  Possibly that is the secret to a successful partnership, and if that’s the case, let’s not forget who invented it (ME!) in case of kudos and credit and forthcoming made-for-TV movie.  Also, pajamas for everyone!

3. Be sure and do armpit checks before putting on short sleeved shirts.  You know, in case you do a lot of arm raising out in public and would prefer not to advertise to your co-workers how stuck in winter mode you still are.  Not that I know first hand or anything.  Cuz I just LOOOOOVE shaving.  It’s the best thing about taking a bath, all that effort and hoisting up of legs and everything.  Super fun.

Now that I’ve most likely scared half of you away, let’s look at pretty things!  Remember last week how we bought some polish and donated to charity all with the click of one tiny button?  As in, best display of zero effort EVER?!  Well, let’s do that again.  I have April’s Monthly Awareness Polish Box to share with you today.  Take a look:

Each month, the Monthly Awareness Polish Box partners with six awesome indie brands to create exclusive, customized polishes to fit the theme of that particular month’s charity.  Some of you may already know, but April is Autism Awareness Month, so it only made sense to donate to an organization that benefits autism research.  After some consideration, Courtney chose the  Autism Research Institute, a highly regarded four-star charity.  That’s four out of FOUR stars, people!  And in case math is hard, that means it’s a good one.

So let’s get into it!  The polishes:

Excuse me while I attach my jaw back on my face.  I can’t go gettin’ unattractive this early in the blog.  Hubby might come in here and divorce me if I don’t get it together.  Cuz drooling, tongue-lolling wives are surprisingly not sexy.  Although neither are hubbies with judgy eyes.

First up is from Lifestyle Lacquer:

This is Love Needs No Words, a duochrome that shifts from blue to violet with a bit of scattered holo.  Yes, please!  Who else melts into a big puddle of goo when the word duochrome comes out?  Seriously, getting this on my nails was a sheer act of superhuman determination.  Cuz not much gets done while you’re busy passing out for a second. 

Also, I went outside to take these photos.  Next step:  logic, out the window.  Science is officially a facsimile of a sham.  Quick!  Someone get me pajamas and a latte, stat.

Time for macros!

Well, I don’t hate that one bit.  Ugh.

Next up is from My Indie Polish:

This is Close to Home, a purple creme with a pink/purple shimmer and a touch of holo.  Did you just die a little, cuz I sure did.  What a gorgeous little dreamboat.  My favorite shade of purple.  What else could be better?  Maybe there’s Leonardo in your living room holding a basketful of kitties?  Or perhaps mail is being delivered on a Sunday.  But other than that, NOT MUCH.  

Look at her under the lamps.  Drool buckets, EXTRAVAGANZA!

Ugh.  No Words.  Just moan-y throat noises.  Uhhhhhhhnnnnnnn.

See?  How the rest of this blog is getting written, I dunno.

Now we have Sassy Pants Polish:

This is Kiss My Aspergers, a red jelly base with red microglitters and red to gold micro flakies.  Seriously, if I’m wearing a red polish, it’s a red like this one.  Full of goodies!  It’s your date night red.  Your party red.  Or it could also be your couch lounging, napping red.  You know, if you’re me.

Man, I super love this.  Jelly polishes are the best.  The glitters, how they’re just floating in that big sea of red.  For real, I kinda wanna lick this one.  Except society says NO.  Society is zero fun sometimes.

And of course hubbies with their judgy eyes.  We don’t like them very much, now do we?  Listen, I never bought that fanny pack OR those straps for your eyeglasses that keep them attached to your face, so the least he can do is look the other way every once in a while.

I swear this would taste good:

Either that or kind of poison-y, but we’ll never know now, will we?  Hmmmpf.

From Night Owl Lacquer:

This one is called Loving Patience, a seafoam green with bright turquoise shimmer, crystal rainbow flakies and scattered holo.  And y’all know how I feel about this one already without me even saying so.  You’ve read this blog before, I’m assuming.  And that macro of the bottle up there?  For real, DEAD.  My brain has literally stopped holding my mouth shut.  Drooling, level EXPERT.

Under the lamps, that turquoise shimmer stands out so nice:

Who’s having the best day ever right now?  Green is my happy place.  And seafoam green is my happy place with like a Starbucks on top.

This one is perfect for spring.  Get it on your nails!  I mean it.

Next is from All Mixed Up Lacquers:

This one is All Over the Spectrum, a light grey scattered holo base with green, pink, purple and blue micro flakies and pink, green, purple, red, orange, turquoise and blue holographic glitters.  And OMG, is this not insane, but in the best way possible?!  This polish is just plain FUN.  That glitter mix is crazy legit.  Heart eyes times a billion, people!  You’re gonna love it, I just know.

For so much glitter, the formula here is basically perfection.  Not thick and goopy like some polishes tend to be.  Cuz no one wants a goopy polish.  Goopy polish is a punishment for bad people, like ones who make extra food noises with their mouth or who park in two spots at the same time, but like, they drive a car with mismatched doors so there isn’t even a good reason for it.  NO, goopy polish has zero business in the hands of a proper lady.  Cuz we are princesses and we shall be treated as such.

If there was ever a time for smelling salts, now would be it:

It’s good to be prepared, sometimes.  

Lastly, from Pretty Beautiful Unlimited:

This one is called Something Mysterious, and I have seriously lost all words.  Good thing we’re at the end, cuz I’m pretty sure I’m gonna have to pass out soon.  Cuz FLAKIES.  EVERYWHERE.

This one has an orange to yellow base and jam-packed loaded with pink/purple/blue/gold color shifting flakies, gold holo shreds, red shimmer and chameleon glitters.  It’s glorious!  Super smoooooooth formula, too.  I loved applying this, and was about to go full-on Polish Mountain with it, but gave up after two coats.  Eh.  I’m not very good at goals, let’s just say.

And then I matted it for funsies:

Gah!  So pretty.  A shimmering jewel.  

How about a ridiculous display of flakies then:

DONE.  If I had a mic in my hand right now, I’d straight up drop it and walk right out of the room.  We’ve ended on a big ole exclamation point, people, so we’re gonna wrap this up in case something stupid comes out and ruins everything.  As it does from time to time.

The round up:

Pre-sale for this box opens on March 26 and will run through April 9.  Cost is $52 + shipping and 10% of the proceeds will be donated to the Autism Research Institute.  There are also options to purchase just a single bottle or a set of 4 bottles instead of the entire box.  Although, WHY?, is the actual question.

To purchase, click here and then give yourself a toot on the ole horn for being so fabulous.

To get connected with future Monthly Awareness Polish boxes, like their Facebook page (click here) or follow their Instagram (click here). AND THEN! …

While you’re in a clicking mood, visit all the Instagrams!

Lifestyle Lacquer

My Indie Polish

Sassy Pants Polish

Night Owl Lacquer

All Mixed Up Lacquers

Pretty Beautiful Unlimited

Me (well, you didn’t think you were getting out of here without clicking on this one, did you?)

Okay, guys.  That’s it!  Let’s go ahead and set 17 alarms and put Post-Its on all your surfaces cuz you have approximately 3 days left to get your to-do list organized.  This box, up top!  Then dishes and groceries, if there’s time.

Well, why be obsessed if you can’t be the best darn obsessed obsesser that ever obsessed?  WHAT IS THE POINT OF YOUR LIFE?!  To hoard all the polish, at the very minimum.  Duh.

Later, loves!

Dainty Digits Polish: Enchanted Garden Collex (plus bonuses!)

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Things accomplished this weekend:

1.  Having my husband bring me stuff on his way back from the kitchen.  I swear, I would literally starve to death if he didn’t ever get off this couch.  I mean, sure, I could probably manage to go in there and get the box of Cheez-Its myself, but honestly, who’s up for doing effort on a weekend?  (Crazy people.)  No, I’ll just suffer in silent hunger since a minimum amount of legwork makes the most logical sense.  AND CUZ I AM A PRINCESS, and we shall treat me as such.

So, this morning we had plans to eat hashbrowns, but hubby got called into work unexpectedly.  I laid in bed for 2 hours waiting for food and coffee to just appear in my hand, but it never freaking did.  Booooo.   I had to put pants on and drive myself to Starbucks like someone normal.  Which brings me to my next accomplishment:

2.  I put pants on.  Ugh.

3.  Wearing my last clean pair of underwear.  Which means, there’s a possibility of a 4th accomplishment for the weekend if I decide to do laundry versus just going to the store to buy more.  But that requires ANOTHER pants-wearing scenario, and I’m pretty sure I’ve maxed that situation out.  Dadgummit!  Maybe I can just hand hubby a basket full of panties on his way to the kitchen, cuz certainly he’ll make it to the laundry room at some point?  I dunno.

See guys?  I do stuff!  Maybe my stuff isn’t the same as your stuff, since your stuff requires being social and an interesting person and whatnot.  But things do get done.  I mean, items 1 through 3 didn’t just happen by magic, sooooo … var var busy over here.  Clearly.

Let’s talk polish!  I have lots of pretty things from Dainty Digits Polish to show you today.  There’s a 5-piece Enchanted Garden Collex, a couple of bonus spring releases, PLUS a way for you to get the two exclusives from last weekend’s Indie Shop event.  Are you ready?  I’m ready.  Lesss go!

Let’s talk about the Enchanted Garden Collex.  NeNe created these 5 beautiful shades inspired by one of her dear friend’s love of lilies and other exotic flowers.  Talk about pretty!  I’m a sucker for anything spring, and if I didn’t already own them all, I’d be tossing each one of these in the basket along with 27 back-up bottles just to be safe.  

Someone’s crazy, and while I’m not saying it’s me, it’s probably me.  Well, why be obsessed if you can’t do it properly?

First up is Morning Glory:

This one is a gorgeous, rich purple creme.  Goes on glossy and smooth in two simple coats.  Which means there’s plenty of time leftover to go be Mom-of-the-Year real quick or something.  ORRRRRR!, you can just take a nap.  You know, if you’re me.

Next up is Blue Tiger Lily:

This one is a cornflower blue creme with some aqua and blue flakies and a bit of holo mixed in.  It’s my favorite of the bunch!  If you’re only buying one polish, although WHY? is the actual question,  I recommend this one cuz it makes even the sausage-y-est of fingers look fabulous.  Proof: 

Now here’s Tropical Canna Lily:

This one has a peach crelly base that’s loaded with a whole bunch of flakie business, which is a professional way of saying I don’t know what’s in this polish.  Although, I’m pretty certain “flakie business” is a technical term.   And you’re buying it cuz you have no choice.  

In other news, I am soooooo good at blogging, you guys!  

This one is Stargazer Lily:

This one is a dreamy candy pink creme with a very subtle shimmer.  So subtle, I didn’t actually see it on my nail unless I got my eyeball right up next to it.  I mean, I’m not opposed to doing it that way, as I imagine it’s less weird than putting my tongue on it, which is what I’d rather do.  Cuz it might taste like a strawberry milkshake.  Or maybe poison.  I dunno.  Either way, though, maybe it’s best we just act normal for once.  Moving on.

Lastly, here’s Delirious Dahlia:

This one is a blurple metallic with flakies, some subtle blue/purple shimmer and bit of holo.  It’s really pretty, and all my purple lovers better get this one on the to-do lists, stat.  Well, this one and the other ones.  Cuz if you’re getting out of this blog without all five in your basket, well, I can only imagine how WRONG you must feel.  So ENTIRE Enchanted Garden Collex it is then!  Congratulations on your very good decision.

In case you did not know, last weekend was the Indie Shop event held in Atlanta.  Lots of indie makers were there, as well as a bunch of super lucky people.  Naturally, I wasn’t there because I live in the middle of where nothing ever happens, which is mostly DUMB but also STUPID.  Anyway.  Dainty Digits made this little beauty exclusively for the event:

This is Stream of Enchantment, a light turquoise jelly with aqua shimmer and lots and lots of flakies mixed in. It’s every bit of the glory you think it is.  Even more so maybe.  It’s glory, with happiness and a Starbucks on top.  At MINIMUM.

NeNe has some leftovers, so now is your chance to score your own – without the hassle of time travel, putting pants on, or any other inconviences.  Single bottles are available now for $10 each but you have to be a member of the Facebook fan group in order to buy.  Click here to join – it’s free – and snag this little lady!

Side note: there is also a dark blue nighttime version of this polish available called Obsidian and you can get the duo for $18.   Swatch pics are in the group!

Lastly, there are two bonus spring releases to show you.  First up is Icing on the Cake:

OKAY.  I know this isn’t food.  I know it’s not a cupcake.  Or a donut.  Or anything related to a birthday.  But dadgummit, how am I supposed to not lick this one?  Ugh.  NeNe, you stinker.  

This one has a sweet pink crelly base and a nice healthy dose of multicolored sprinkles … er, glitters, I mean.  It’s fun and festive and just the cutest thing.  Get this on your nails! (But not in your tummy, even though you’ll want to.)

Last one!  Here’s You’re Lucky, I’m Charming:

Without knowing the point of this polish, I applied it all willy nilly and thought something was wrong.  It was so sheer and even after two coats, it looked almost clear.  So I thought maybe it was a topper, applied it over white and thought GOOD JOB, EXPERT! and went on my merry way.

Then I had a conversation with NeNe who told me it was intentionally sheer as it was her quirky take on Lucky Charms cereal and milk.  And OMG, she’s right!  I suppose the hearts and moons and clover-shaped glitters should have given me a hint, but I also thought condoms went on girls until like the 10th grade, so I’m not the best source for info sometimes.

Next day, I went back and used the polish correctly.  Look what I did!

So adorable!  It literally DOES look like cereal and milk.  NeNe nailed it for sure.

To get this look, I did three thin coats then some manual glitter placement so I could get more shapes in there.  Added one more thin coat on top cuz I don’t know why.  I love nail polish; it’s my only excuse.

The round up:

The Enchanted Garden Collex and the two spring bonus releases will be available tomorrow, March 20 so be sure to stick Post-Its on all your surfaces.  Click here for shopping, then stalk the mailman like a proper lady.

As a reminder, the Indie Shop exclusives are only available through the Dainty Digits Facebook fan group.  So you won’t have to scroll up to access the group link, click here instead.  Cuz I understand about effort.  The cat is currently poking holes through the screen door, but moving my legs away from this couch is a decision I’m not ready to make.

Lazy, Level EXPERT.  Not even ashamed.

Later, loves!

Glisten & Glow: 7 Year Anniversary Polish Duo

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My right eye has been sleepy all day.  Every time I blink I pretty much fall asleep on just that one side for a little bit.  Not that the left eye refuses to participate or anything, but since I was at my desk trying to (reluctantly) adult, I figured Nap Mode: Level EXPERT would not be the most logical choice.   Cuz HR is lurking people, let us never forget.  And in that case, I will sit here comatose, but with one eye open, like a good girl.

I’ve never been much of a rule-breaker anyway (i.e., super boring person).  Because of my almost OCD-like need to follow direction, I ask a lot of questions.  I need to know specifically what you mean and how you mean it, probability of alternate scenarios, and I hope to Baby Jesus you have a FAQ sheet with bullet points, cuz imma need that too, prolly.

And don’t even ask me to veer off schedule and improvise anything.  I don’t believe in a gray area or room for interpretation.  If a recipe calls for a dash of pepper, I’m spending the next 18 hours googling how much a dash is.  And don’t tell me to cook the fish until it flakes easily with a fork cuz that’s not a proper cooking term.  HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE EXACTLY?!, is the actual question, and I get the hives trying to figure it out.

In other words, if someone doesn’t invite me to a party soon, well do you see what you’re missing?!  DO YOU?

While we all sit and contemplate, let’s look at pretty things!  I have two new polishes from Glisten & Glow to show you today.  They are part of a duo to celebrate the anniversary of the birth of Glisten & Glow, a very worthy party idea if I ever heard one, you know, in case you need an excuse to drink a wine cooler on a Thursday.  See below:

Back on March 10, 2010 a dream came true and Glisten & Glow became a real life thing.  And without any warning whatsoever, every single one of us nail polish nerds fell in love.  Seriously, how did we all function like humans before this indie business started?  We were just polish robots with carts full of mainstream, zero fun, and cuticles that could poke an eye out, I’m guessing.  Or at least I was anyway.  So, God bless Glisten & Glow for all the spectacular pretties over the past 7 years.  And for making my nails not look like a hobo.  Amen.

First up is 7 Years and Glowing:

Mercy, it’s already started.  Dadgummit.  Are you sweaty?  Cuz I’m sweaty.

This one is a teal linear holographic with sparkles of silver holo microglitters and flashes of blue and gold shimmers.  It’s a beautiful, mermaid-y, ocean-y dreamboat, and you’re just gonna go ahead and throw it in the basket. Cuz I’m the boss of you, that’s why. 

Then I stuck a big ole daylight lamp on top of it.  And died a little:

Erlack! For real, that’s no joke legit. There’s no way you’re walking out of this blog without 27 bottles of this, MINIMUM. 

Macro (aka, drool) time!

How unattractive do you look right now?  ME TOO! Lolling tongues and drool buckets, everywhere.

Some nail art I did:

I was gonna do a mermaid mani but thought I’d do something unexpected. Not that this is particularly revolutionary or anything, but I’ve had these Twinkled T scribble vinyls for ages and figured why not?

Why not, indeed. I like it lots. 

Last half of the duo is Seventh Heaven:

If there’s anything more complimentary to a teal green mani, it’s gotta be a coral one. Clearly someone knows how to do nail polish. I’m not saying it’s Glisten & Glow, but it’s probably Glisten & Glow. 

So this one is a light coral creme holographic with sparkles of silver holo microglitters and subtle purple and blue shimmers. It’s very springy and fresh and totally work appropriate and Queen of England-approved, you know, in case you two are having sandwiches later. As happens from time to time.

The shimmers in here are delicate and a bit shy. Below is a shot with the daylight bulb so you can see them better:

I dunno guys.  I kinda want to lick this one.  Cuz it looks like it might taste like a peach.  I mean, I know it probably doesn’t, maybe not even close.  But if there’s a chance it won’t kill me, I can’t say I wouldn’t at least lay my tongue near it at the minimum.  It’s hanging out of my mouth right now anyway, sooo …

I’m not crazy, you’re crazy.

In case you’re not convinced properly:

Took this shot directly under the lamps so you can see those shimmers real good.  Seriously like a peach, I’m sure of it.

Some nail art I like:

A pretty simple design, but thought I’d play off those purple shimmers by adding a bit of purple stamping.  Kinda cute, yes?  I mean, you’ve seen me do worse I’m certain of it.  Cuz you’ve read this blog before.

I used the Uber Chic Beauty 14-02 plate in case you’re curious.

The round up:

Launch date for this duo is Monday, March 20 at 9am EST so you have PLENTY of time to get your priorities straight.  Glisten & Glow up top, people!  Here’s what you need to know:

Both polishes in a bundle retails for $13

If you want to buy just a single bottle – although, WHY?!, is the actual question – cost is $7

Click here for shopping!  Be sure to pick up a few others while you’re there cuz honestly, what other choice is there?  It’s Jill’s anniversary and we need to thank her properly.  And then go buy me a Starbucks cuz I help you make good decisions.

Later, loves!

Tonic Polish + Crystal’s Charity Lacquers: Project Aloha

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GUYS.  I have something extra special for you today that you’re just gonna love.  Someone has figured out a way to combine your need to hoard all the polish, PLUS donate to a very good cause.  Did you just do an ultra dramatic, overly exaggerated gasp of surprise?  ME TOO!  Prepare to breeze through life now that all your dreams are about to come true.  You get pajamas, and you get pajamas, and YOU get pajamas … Happy days ahead for everyone.  Here’s the scoop:

Crystal’s Charity Lacquers is an organization that started fundraising with nail polish close to 2 years ago.  Each month or so, Crystal chooses a charity and teams up with indie brands to create exclusive polishes to sell and help raise funds for the cause.  For March, she chose the amazing Lindsey with Tonic Polish and Joy with Joy Lacquer to release a duo to benefit the Hawaiian Humane Society.

So back the freak off, boyfriends, girlfriends, Universe and whatnot who says you don’t need another purple nail polish, cuz this right here is a total legit justification.

 

 

Crystal decided on the Hawaiian Humane Society for this month as it holds a very special place in her heart.  At the very bottom of this post is a statement in Crystal’s own words (with pictures!), and I encourage everyone to read it.  After all, it took me 18 years minimum to copy and paste that whole thing.  Whew!

As mentioned up top, there is a duo up for grabs.  I only have swatches of the Tonic Polish offering, but there is a link down below to another blog where you can view the swatches for Joy Lacquer.  Who’s the best, most thorough, OCD blogger in all the land? (ME.  The answer to that question is always ME.  Write it down in a notebook in case there’s a quiz.)

OMG.  Shut up, brain.  Let’s talk polish:

This is Project Aloha, a sunset mauve holo multichrome that shifts to peach and sandy gold with orange to green shifting iridescent glitters.  And if you don’t think this looks exactly like a sunset, then I am var var concerned about your brain.  Lindsey nailed it, once again, as always.  I mean, did we expect anything less?  NO. WE. DID. NOT.

Under the lamps, a lot of the mauve came out, but it looks very purple on me.  Not that I’m complaining.  Mauve, purple.  Potato, french fries.  It’s all good.

Close up of those iridescent glitters that I’ve decided is my most favorite thing in the whole world.  Well, after Leonardo DiCaprio in my living room handing me a Starbucks.  As happens from time to time.

More macros cuz we haven’t drooled enough today.  Well, technically I have, but I’m not normal, I’m quite aware.  If you see me and somehow I’m not in the midst of a suuuuuper unattractive drooling type scenario, just assume I’ve been kidnapped cuz that seems more likely.

I reallllllllllly love nail polish, is what I’m saying.

Smelling salts would come in handy right about now.  I feel a fainting episode is imminent.   Quick!  Roll a couch over just in case.

Lastly, once again (don’t forget), this is a charity duo and so Joy Lacquer has a polish too!  Their offering is Mau Loa Ohana, a bright pink with orange chrome shift. Check out my girl, Elena, from Nail Experiments for swatches. Click here to see!

Pre-order for these starts on March 17 and runs through March 31st.  Cost is $12 each and will be available to purchase at each respective maker’s site.  To make it easy for you (and cuz BEST BLOGGER EVER), here are the links:

Tonic Polish – click here

Joy Lacquer – click here

If you’d like to get the inside scoop on future donations and brand collaborations, join Crystal’s Facebook group by clicking here.  DO IT.  I mean it.

Crystal will be making the donation to the Hawaiian Humane Society in person around April 7th. I’d soooo be on board with that if I could guarantee to hubby (complete with signed waiver, blood sample, and 18 lock-tight provisions and clauses) that I won’t bring home a suitcase full of kitties. Which is nigh on impossible, so guess I’ll stay home and wear pajamas all day instead.  Not as fun, but pretty close.

Later, loves!

 

Background on Crystal’s Charity Lacquers:

“I’ve been involved in fundraising for a number of years now, and always struggled to raise funds. In April 2015, I decided to take a new approach and started asking some of my favourite brands if they would be willing to create custom polishes for me to give away in a raffle style draw. After getting a number of brands on board, we launched our first campaign, a double giveaway benefiting the SPCA and the Terry Fox Foundation for cancer research. That first campaign wrapped up in September 2015 and was more successful that I ever could have dreamed. In order to keep momentum going between giveaways, we introduced our limited edition collaboration sales. That first sale was for the Hawaiian Humane Society so we’ve come a bit full circle with this sale.”

“The Hawaiian Humane Society is a cause very close to my heart. I am a huge animal lover, so helping animals is something I always strive to do. During a trip to Oahu in March 2015, the search for a larger sized geocache brought me to the Hawaiian Humane Society grounds. The geocache owner had received permission to hide the geocache in the middle of the shelter grounds, and upon first arrival, I was stunned by the well thought out shelter and their beautiful grounds. We found the cache and then I couldn’t resist saying hello to the animals. The shelter workers were friendly and offered us treats to give to the animals and told us that we could sign a dog out to walk around or play in one of the play areas. This was like no shelter I’d been to before. You could feel the love and see how the shelter was built with the animals’ happiness in mind. We signed out a sweet pup named Spot and took him for a run in the play area. Once he was tired, we snuggled on a bench and fed him some treats.”

“And then there was Lily. This girl stole my heart and cemented my love for this shelter. Lily was an amazing dog who came in as a stray. She had endless energy and even knew some tricks. When you offered her a treat, she would sit up on her hind legs and put her front paws together like she was praying. She was amazing! But she was a special girl, who needed a special human to give her the forever home she needed. She had been adopted and returned to the shelter already. As a Canadian, we often hear the horror stories of American kill shelters. After spending time with Lily, I nervously, and with tears in my eyes, approached one of the shelter staff and asked them about their policies. I was relieved to hear that the Hawaiian Humane Society does not put time limits on the animals to find their forever homes. This is something that is extremely important to me.”

“I eventually pulled myself away from the animals and we left. But I’ve never forgotten Lily. It took a year and two failed adoptions before this beautiful, silly girl finally found her forever home and I am so grateful to the Hawaiian Humane Society for not giving up on her.”

“Since that trip, I have supported the Hawaiian Humane Society through donations and gifts. We returned to the island in January, 2016 and visited once again with a large donation of food, toys and other supplies needed by the shelter. They were mid renovation during that visit and have recently completed a complete overhaul of the facilities. The Hawaiian Humane Society is also Oahu’s only open admissions shelter. They are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year for people to surrender their animals. They believe there must be a place where all animals are welcome. This means that they will also accept illegal animals with no questions asked and work to save them through relocation to the mainland. The shelter also offers fantastic, affordable programs to help curb the feral cat population through spaying and neutering. I could go on and on about the wonderful programs through the Hawaiian Humane Society as this has barely scratched the surface of all they do.”

Photo of Crystal snuggling with Spot.  The beautiful white pup with brown spots wearing the lei is Lily.  And there’s a cat too who rules over them all. Clearly.

Blush Lacquers: Matterial Girl Matte Top Coat (plus two nail polish emergencies!)

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That moment when you thought you were being sexy, but your husband laughs cuz he thought you were being funny, and now you have to reasses your entire relationship because suddenly THINGS HAVE CHANGED.  I mean, I know I was wearing the robe and all, but also I had no pants on, and if that isn’t a walking (well, lounging, napping) pile of sex, I don’t know what is.

I’m awkward, clearly.  No science was involved in this assessment, which surprises NO ONE.  Unless you’re into uncomfortable silences or wallflower-type scenarios at parties (or no parties at all, actually), I may not be the friend for you.  I give high fives at inappropriate times, like when someone is making eye contact for too long and stupid words start to come out, such as telling your intimidating male boss you like tube-like packages when you meant actual tube-like packages (such as poster mailers, ya know?) instead of what it really sounded like.  High five!  Gotta go!

I have a hard time being anything but quiet and serious out in public because social situations are hard for me.  I do not walk confidently and command attention.  No, I’m the one who eats Gardetto’s in a quiet room full of people, and then try to pretend it wasn’t me.  It’s nigh on impossible; they know it’s me cuz it’s always and forever me.  If there’s going to be one weird one out of the bunch, I’ve been nominated whether I like it or not.

So my advice for all those self-conscious little girls out there who want to grow up popular:  more sports, less spelling.  Bahaha.  Just kidding.  (Kind of.)

While you feel normal in comparison, let’s talk about polish!   Blush Lacquers has no official collection this month, but there are still some new releases to discuss.  Two of them are urgent, so you’ll want to clear your schedule for the rest of the day.  Priorities and whatnot.  Blush Lacquers up top, people!  Lessss go …

First up is the new matte top coat called Matterial Girl:

I’ve been getting into matte top coats lately, and have used several that I really like.  Blush’s version is a mid-range matte that leaves this unbelievable satiny finish.  I love it because it’s not completely matte where it shuts all the lights off and makes the polish appear one-dimensional. NOT ONE BIT.  Instead, you get this gorgeous glowy appearance with just enough light bouncing off the surface to transform your polish into an even better version of itself.  That’s a bunch of rocket science if you ask me, and who argues with science?  Crazy people.

In my swatch, I’ve layered the top coat over one of Blush’s older polishes, Laugh-Borghini, because it’s full of these gold flakies and purple shimmer I thought would look lovely in a matte state.  And clearly, I was right.  Here’s proof:

See that glow?  SCIENCE in action.

The cost on this matte top coat is a mere $7.35, which is practically free so completely justified.  It’s also available right now and probably for all of eternity, so how lucky are we right now?  (Very.)  To purchase, click here.

Also, if you like Laugh-Borghini, it’s still available although at very limited quantities.  Not saying it’s an emergency or anything, but it’s probably an emergency.  To purchase, click here.  It’s part of a quad, so you have to select the color you want in the drop down menu, or you can just buy all four which I feel is the most logical choice.  Decision made!  Let’s move on.

Now it’s time to focus cuz this next part ain’t even funny.  Blush Lacquers has participated in two exclusive things this month, and they are literally going away forever by the end of this week.  Are you properly panicked?  You should be.

Let’s start with the submission for The Color Box:

The Color Box only comes around quarterly and focuses on a group-voted color each time.  This round is dedicated to the color blue and so this box is full of gorgeous exclusive blue polishes that there’s no way you won’t love.  Or if not, well then possibly you have no eyes. I dunno.

I was sent just Blush Lacquers’s contribution, Blue a Fuse, to review for you.  And it is everything I’d ever expect from Victoria.  It has a deep blue base and full of blue micro flakies, holo, holo flakies with a hint of black shreds.  Two of the dreamiest coats of your life (not a typo).  And not that you need a real reason to buy this collab box (cuz we buy polish all willy nilly most of the time), but this polish right here is a damn good one.  She’s a gorgeous little lady, 100 percent.

Serious macro business up ahead:

The Color Box is a collab among 5 different indie brands and 5 official bloggers.  To see the rest of the swatches of the other polishes included in the box, here’s some links to more blogs:

Bruised Up Dollie (this is Lo, who was paired up with Blush)

XOXO, Jen

Manna’s Manis

Imperfectly Painted

Polish Galore

In addition to Blush Lacquers, the box also contains polishes from Tonic Polish, Baroness X, Blue-Eyed Girl and Supermoon Lacquer.  It retails for $45+shipping and will only be available until March 17.  Click here to purchase the box.  Not tomorrow.  TODAY.  I mean it.

To get in on voting for a future Color Box, join their Facebook group by clicking here.

Lastly, here is Victoria’s submission for the Polish Con exclusive:

Since Polish Con will be held in New York City this round, Victoria has named this blue beauty Wonder Wheel, after the Coney Island ride of the same name.  It’s a sky blue base with pinkish-purple micro flakies, small gold flakies and holo flakies. Basically, flakies are everywhere. But we don’t argue cuz flakies make everything better. And prettier and skinnier, too, prolly.

In case you are interested in attending Polish Con, it’s happening April 29 and tickets can be purchased here.  If you’re already going, well look who’s fancy!, but also this polish will be there if you’re unable to get it now.  Although, why you’re not buying it right now this very second is the actual question.

I can’t stand how much I love this polish.  It is the ultimate spring blue, like one of those cloudless days you’ve been missing since approximately the previous spring.  It’s full of sparkle and so much happiness you’d swear Leonardo DiCaprio just handed you a Starbucks and a basket of kitties.  It’s just THAT perfect.  And you need it.  Legit no joke.

Here’s some macros in case you want to pass out for a second:

Gah, I just died a little.

Each week a new duo is revealed for Polish Con, so in addition to this one, Fleur de Lis has a polish too.  Check out the blogs from the official Polish Con swatchers for more pics and info:

XOXO, Jen

Delishious Nails

Cosmetic Sanctuary

Addicted to Polish

Each polish is $10+shipping and will be available just until March 18.  Click here to purchase, when again?  Roughly 2.5 seconds ago so what are you even doing right now with your life?  GO, is what I mean.  Because tomorrow, although technically not late, is still 24 hours behind schedule.  Duh.

Okay gang, that’s it for today.  You’ve got a lot of shopping to do, and in case you haven’t been taking notes, here’s the links once again, cuz why?  BEST BLOGGER EVER, that’s why.

Matte top coat – click here

The Color Box – click here

Polish Con Exclusive – click here

Later, loves!

Night Owl Lacquer: Dreaming of Green Collection 

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Anyone else go to bed last night and have a last second thought of a bug crawling into your ear and digging tunnels through your brain?  No?  Well, crap.  Why do you insist on me being the ONLY weird one?  We are supposed to be sharing this burden TOGETHER.  Rule #748506 of reading this blog.

Today is not a good day for me.  I feel extremely round right now.  Could be the plate of carbs I had for lunch.  Potatoes AND rice.  And nothing else.  DUMB.  And the fact it took 10 years to take a selfie at my desk cuz people kept walking by me.  Ugh.  Even dumber-er.  Plus, if you have to text your hubby asking if candy is coming instead of it just appearing in your hand like magic, you know you’ve got some issues to deal with.

Although there are two things to be grateful for at the moment.  First, despite what I said up top, it’s Friday, so even when it’s a bad day, it’s still pretty good one.  Secondly, and most importantly, this weekend Daylight Savings Time begins.  I am beside myself with joy.  I loooooooove Daylight Savings Time.  I love daylight, period.  The more sunlight I get, the happier I am.  I’m pretty sure that’s a medical condition of some kind, in which case I should stay in pajamas from November to March.  Or be pushed around in a wheelie cart, AT MINIMUM.

I know I lose one hour of sleep due to the time change, and normally I’m not interested in that one bit; however, this is pretty much the only acceptable excuse for it.  Well, unless there’s a Leonardo involved somehow, that is.  Actually lots of things are negotiable at that point.

So while I sit here and eat this bag of M&Ms I don’t need (candy came after all!), let’s look at pretty things.  I have the most amazing display of green you’ve ever seen.  Seriously.  I have proof.  Take a look:

Gah!  Who’s having the best day ever now?

This is the Night Owl Lacquer Dreaming of Green collection, and I promise to Baby Jesus that Lindsay made these alllll for ME!  We are best friends after all, even though we didn’t exchange rings or make an announcement on Facebook or anything.  Quite possible she doesn’t even know it, but let me assure you WE ARE.  Cuz this friendship is reciprocal whether she wants it or not.

First up is New Beginnings:

I mean, do you see why green is my favorite?  DO YOU?!  It’s such a flattering shade on (I’d imagine) every skin tone.  It is the color of fresh and new and clean.  Of spring, warmth, sunshine and music.  A basketful of kitties and a room full of office supplies.  All of life’s happiness poured into a bottle.  That’s what green is, in case you didn’t know.

This one is a dark olive green packed with bright copper shimmer and copper flecks.  Under the lamps, it’s absolutely stunning.  Is it glowing?  I think yes.

You done died.  You did.

Time for macros!

Here’s some nail art I did:

So very simple, but I think it turned out pretty.  Used the Uber Chic Beauty St. Patrick’s Day plate for this Celtic knot pattern, and if I wasn’t much of an Irish lass before, I am 100% one now.  Probably on a horse galloping through the ocean, cuz that makes the most logical sense.

I like this nail art, is what I’m trying to say.

Next up is Wildflower Meadows:

What a fabulously unique shade!  My heart hurts just looking at it.  GUYS.  I don’t think I’m gonna make it to the end of this blog, cuz how can I while I keep dying every 2.5 seconds?  Quick!, roll a couch over.  Bring some smelling salts.  And a Starbucks, just in case.

Another version, just for funsies:

This little lady is a gorgeous leaf green with a bright purple shimmer and violet, light pink, dark pink and blue holo shreds. You can really see the shimmer stand out when it’s under the lamps.  See the bottle for best view cuz the glare of my lights on my nails just about ruined everything.  Ugh.  Rude.

Lolling tongues alert:

Those shreds are everything!  Lindsay nailed the wildflower theme on this one.  Looking at this polish reminds me of exactly that.

So naturally, I did this nail art:

Of lightning.  Well, of course I did.

I used the Moyra Dreamology 27 plate, which you can buy from the Cosette Nail Shop.  I actually think this is a marble pattern, but on the green base, it looks sorta like a summer storm scene to me.  Regardless, though, I really love how it turned out.

Now here’s The Grass is Greener Where You Water It:

I’m having trouble keeping my jaw attached to my face over here.  SEND HELP.

I swear, if my husband wasn’t in the room, I’d totally lick this one a little bit.  It looks so juicy and delicious!  I mean, I know it tastes like poison and it might actually kill me, but what if – WHAT IF! – it doesn’t?  What if it’s a green apple Jolly Rancher and I’ve just been wasting so much time sitting here being normal and whatnot?  What is the point in life if you can’t eat a bit of nail polish every now and then?  I ask you, WHAT IS THE POINT?

This one is a gorgeous grass green packed full of micro flakes that subtly shift from gold to green plus scattered holo for maximum drool effect.  Not even joking.  Grab your buckets!

Drooling, level EXPERT.

The happiest of nail art:

Used the B. Loves Plates Leaves of Happiness plate on this one, and I stinkin’ LOVE IT.  Are these mannequin hands?  Just about.  This mani is basically perfect.  Bah!  Someone get me my horn so I can toot it.  Kthanksbye.

Next up is Feelin’ Lucky:

Oh my goodness, will the drooling ever end?

NO.

I’m telling you, guys.  If all 5 of these don’t end up in your shopping cart, I question the state of your brain.  There’s no logical reason I can think of why you’re walking away.  Maybe you have no eyes, I dunno.  But after that, no reason at all.

This one is a bright lime green jelly with color shifting iridescent glitters.  It also glows in black light, which will come in handy for those who lead more interesting lives than me.

A jelly ocean of loveliness:

Don’t look at this nail art:

Don’t do it!  Ugh.  I’m not sure if I like this or not.  I was trying to do something different than all the nails the same, but then I kinda feel like I stamped all the things, even though I really didn’t.  What do you all think?

Used the Uber Chic Beauty St. Patrick’s Day plate again in case recreations are in order.  Just kidding.  Bahaha.

Lastly, here’s Renewal:

What a dreamboat!  This is the PERFECT spring color for me.  It’s pastel but slightly darker to make it more special (for me, cuz my skin is see-thru and unattractive), but it’s still delicate and fresh and super ladylike.  Perfect for tea with the Queen, you know, as happens from time to time.

So this one is a precious mint green with gold shimmer and gold micro flakies.  The shimmer is pretty intense – braggy if you will – but we love her despite of it.  I mean, we realllly love her.  In fact, as soon as hubby leaves the room, I’m painting all the surfaces with this one.  Not my fault, though.  There’s no other choice at this point.

Also, I need supervision to save me from me.  Clearly.

One more macro, one more ginormous drool bucket:

A reflection of my pink robe is in the label:

Oh, and there’s nail art too, just FYI.

Used the Uber Chic Beauty 14-02 plate if you’re curious.  There’s a few unruly pieces on this one, but it mostly turned out okay.  I did a subtle gradient in case you can’t really tell.  More lavender towards the cuticle; darker up top.  But man that shimmer sure is coming through loud and clear.  Braggy again.  Tsk tsk, that girl.

The round up:

First things first, you’re buying all these.  Don’t even think otherwise.  I mean it.

Secondly, this collection released one hour ago, so you’re approximately 60 minutes late.  Go go go!  It’s a polish emergency.

Here’s the deets:

Full collection is $42

Single bottles are $9, although this is a moot point (Right? Right.)

Annnnnnnd THEN!  There’s a discount code for readers of my blog.  Use SOR10 at checkout for 10% off your order, save some money, and be sure to tell Lindsay thank you for being so sweet.

Also, I like Visa gift cards, you know, if you’re not busy.

Click here for shopping!

Later, loves!