Category Archives: Nail Art

Painted Polish: Stamped in Spring Collection + PCNY Hipster Trio

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For a girl who got booed on her 21st birthday for sipping a Jagermeister shot like a fancy lady, you’d see me now – all covered in robe, head lolling in the midst of an accidental 8pm nap, mouth agape for extra attractiveness – and think, YEP. That sounds about right.

Listen, all things considered, I’m basically a success story. As Spelling Bee Champion of 1987, you’d expect a little venture down a dark road at some point. But I can ignore peer pressure like it’s my damn job. Cuz having anxiety and thinking everything might kill me sometimes comes in very handy. I’m a goodie two shoes cuz I’m too scared not to be.

In other words, super fun at parties.

Although I do have my addictions, don’t get me wrong.  When I find a hobby, I do it super hardcore.  I can’t be normal about it.  This is how you end up with a duffle bag full of puzzle books and a monthly subscription to 11 different scrapbook kits.  Cuz while most rational people might just do things leisurely, I will obsess over it in a credit-card-retaliating, stalker-y, smother-y kind of way.  Then sell all of it at a garage sale about 2 months later.

Like a sugar high, the crash comes swiftly.  SEND HELP is what I’m saying.

I have some gorgeous polishes from Painted Polish to show you today.  First time on the blog y’all, so toots for Lexi for making good decisions!  She sent me an awesome set of stamping polishes plus a trio that debuted at Polish Con which is now available to the rest of us.  Get ready to die a little.  Here we go!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

 

First up is the Stamped in Spring collection, a set of 5 deliciously springy colors that are either one or two coaters that double as stamping polishes.  A two in one!  Which means you just saved money, so if there was ever a time to justify the next 1275 bottles of nail polish, now would be it.

Lemme do the rundown of colors, then I’ll meet you at the bottom.

First one is Stamped in Mint, a creamy one coat pastel mint:

I’m trying to keep my chatting to a minimum so we aren’t in this blog all damn day, but the lolling tongues are lurking.  Ugh.  So pretty.

Here’s Stamped in Starfruit, a springy pastel yellow:

Drool buckets on standby.

This is Stamped in Guava, a fresh pastel coral:

Bad case of the noodle legs.  Someone roll me over a little fainting couch!  And bring a Starbucks, just in case.

Next is Stamped in Taro, a one coat pastel periwinkle:

OMG, purple lovers!  This one has your name on it.  Get on it, boo boos.

Lastly, here’s Stamped in Peach, a yummy pastel peach:

How I am still upright, it’s defied all logical explanation.  These crèmes are luscious.  Ultra smooth, although thicker than your average polish.  The lighter colors needed two coats just to make everything level, but the one-coat coverage was phenomenal on all of them.  There’s no way you’re getting out of this blog without spending some money, I just know it.

But do they stamp?  You tell me:

GUYS.  I made a thing.  And it turned out so cute!  Quick! Someone get me my horn so I can toot it.

I used the Lina Feeling Shapely 01 and 09 plates, Stamped in Mint and Stamped in Peach if you’re curious.  (You are this time!)  Next.

Effort was made with all that gradient stamping.  Goodness.  You ask the Baby Jesus just one time for a bit of mojo, and look what happens.  Nail art, everywhere.

Used the Lina Mad for Mandalas 01 plate for this one, plus Stamped in Starfruit, Stamped in Guava and Stamped in Taro.

Another favorite!  Who am I?  Certainly the mojo is halfway out the door by now?

This time I used the Lina Make Your Mark 04 plate, Stamped in Guava and Stamped in Taro.  And some peach studs for extra specialness.

Okay, this one almost went the way of stamping all the things but I think I got it together in time.  Sometimes when I do nail art, my brain goes away somewhere.  The focus face has done took a vacay.

I used the Lina Feeling Shapely 09 plate, Stamped in Peach, Stamped in Starfruit and Stamped in Taro.  On this particular plate, the images are mostly mix n match geometric shapes, which gives me a touch of the OCDs.  So all things considering, this mani is a bit of a miracle.  The fact there’s not 18,000 triangles on it is proof.

Last one, and I’m going out on a high note.  I think this is darling.  If there’s an award coming, no one is surprised.

For this one, I used the Uber Chic Beauty 17-01 plate, Stamped in Taro, Stamped in Mint and one of Painted Polish’s other shades, Midnight Mischief.   Recreations (and kudos and accolades) start now!

This was my first time to use any of Lexi’s stamping polishes, and now I think I need them all.  They work very well, even stamp over black as another swatcher discovered.  If you feel like spending a little money today, right here is a good reason. 

In addition to the stamping collection, the PCNY Hipster Trio is coming back. It first debuted at Polish Con, but now all the rest of us get our chance.  Take a look at these lovelies:

Who else just peed a little?  Squeeeeee!

First up is V-Necks & Vinyl:

This one is a fuchsia ultra holo with added silver holo glitters.  So much pretty in just two coats!  If you haven’t already drooled in a thousand buckets by now, well here’s where you’re about to get suuuuuuper unattractive.   Cuz there’s only so much sexy to go around while this is on yer nails.

Macro, in case more convincing is in order:

Gah!  Have you ever?  NO. YOU. HAVE. NOT.

Next up is Beards & Bow Ties:

This one is a white crelly base full of fuchsia, orange, gold and sky blue glitters.  You know how sometimes when you use a white crelly, and it’s streaky and un-level-y and generally not good?  Well, welcome to your new best friend!  This white crelly is PERFECTION.  Two coats, smooth application, no patches, no gloop, nothing. It’s quite possibly made of magic.  And happiness.  With a Starbucks on top.  I can’t think of a better thing.  Unless it comes with a basketful of kitties, that is.

A macro EXTRAVAGANZA! 

Lastly, here’s Mix Tapes & Man Buns:

This is the glitter twin to the above crelly.  Same glitter mix, but in a clear base.  And for such a glitter bomb, it goes on really well!  Would also make an excellent counterpart to some fun nail art with the crelly.

So naturally, I didn’t do one for you cuz BEST BLOGGER EVER.  Clearly, I didn’t plan that out well.

I brushed on two coats and then did some dabbing with a third just to make sure it was all covered.  It’s very blingy, and I think you’ll love it.  Cuz you’re a Crazy Nail Lady, that’s why.

Macros, then we shop:

Oh my.  Bye bye checkbook.

Both of these collections released yesterday, so you’re all set to spend some money.  Here’s what you need to know:

The Stamped in Spring 5-piece set is $45; single bottles are $10 each

The PCNY Hipster Trio is $28.  If you go the single bottle route, V-Necks & Vinyls is $12 and the other two are $10 each

Click here for shopping! Then sit back, relax, and stalk the mailman like a proper loon.  At this point, you have no choice.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

 

Glam Polish: Dance With Dragons Collection 

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Something has happened to the weather.  I had to get my coat back out of the closet today, which was both stupid AND ridiculous since it took a whooooooole lot of effort to put it in the closet in the first place.  Cuz things just don’t get done around here sometimes, or at least not on any normal-sized kind of time frame.  I have what hubby likes to call A PROBLEM, which may or may not be true, but look at mah nails! though, and I’m sorry, what is your question?

Listen, I can’t be expected to do all the things.  How is Dancing with the Stars gonna get watched if I have to go be putting coats in closets all day?  And NAIL BLOGGER EXTRAORDINAIRE doesn’t just happen by itself, ya know?  Besides, I have these three adorable little stories to tell that wouldn’t exist if I had all my shit together:

1.  I left my Christmas tree up until well past Valentine’s Day.  It’s amazing how you can completely ignore something for so long, even though it is huge, has blinking lights, and is standing right next to the television.  The only reason it got put away finally is because someone else did it.  Cuz who honestly wants to shove a ginormous tree back into a teeny tiny box?  NOT ME.

2.  I had winter sweaters in a laundry basket on my floor for so long, at some point I was just able to wear them again.  There’s a math problem in there for you, if you’re interested.  Currently, I have another pile in my bedroom that has items in it from the vacation I took in 2015.  How I still manage to have OCD is beyond allllll the comprehensions.  

3.  After a pretty consistent month-long stint at the gym, I continued to pay for the membership for about three years afterwards cuz in order to cancel they made you do it in person.  Which would work just fine if there was a Starbucks in there, but since there wasn’t, I suppose paying $25 for the next 36 months for no reason whatsoever would be the logical next step.  Good thing my debit card just eventually expired or else I might own the gym by now.

So yeah, I am quite the catch, you might say.  Hubby loves being married to me, I just know it.

Oh, but the polish!  I have some pretty ones to show you today.  I received 5 out of the 10 shades from the new Glam Polish Dance with Dragons collection, inspired by the Game of Thrones tv series.  And if you love you some multichromes, we’ll you’re about to have the best day ever then.

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Told ya.  You’re gonna need a thousand drool buckets or at least someone to hold your mouth closed, cuz the lolling tongues – well, they are everywhere.

First up is The Dance of Dragons:

This one is a green/blue/red multichrome with green/purple shifting microglitter, ultra holo glitter, iridescent shifting glitter and fine holo microglitter.  That’s basically all the glitters if you’re keeping track.

Multichromes can be hard to photograph, and I’ll admit I had a hard time catching the shift the way I wanted.  But these macros turned out rather delicious:

Mercy.  If this one ends up on all your surfaces, no one’s surprised.

Some nail art I did:

Used the new Uber Chic Beauty Texture-licious 2 plate for this one.  It turned out okay.  I mean, no trophies are coming, but it’s still a decent mani.

Next up is Kissed by Fire:

This one is a red/gold/copper multichrome with red/gold shifting microglitter, ultra holo glitter, shifting iridescent glitter and fine holo microglitter and OMG who just fell in love super hardcore?  This looks like melted gold or liquid fire.  It’s just so dreamy.  Anytime I see colors like this, though, it’s a noodle leg epidemic.  Staying upright is nigh on impossible.

Ready for sleepy.  Cuz how cozy is this?

It’s like the best pile of blankets you’ve ever snuggled in.  Plus a bunch of kitties.  HEAVEN.

Something simple:

Used the Uber Chic Beauty Texture-licious 2 plate again, and I will say I do not hate this.  But that’s about all I’m gonna say.  NEXT.

Now here’s The Lion and the Rose:

This one is a red/violet/gold/green multichrome with shifting multichrome flakies, shifting iridescent glitter, and fine holographic microglitter.  Brain. Stopped. Working.  GUYS.  It just got super pass-out-y in here.  How the rest of this blog is getting written, well, it’s basically a crapshoot.

Moan-y throat noises ahead:

Uhhhhhhhnnnnnnnn.  See?

This one is okay:

A bit more effort involved, what with the taping off of half my nail and whatnot.  I semi-thought this one through, although we’re riding on the edge of stamping all the things.  Thankfully I got distracted by a sandwich, or who knows where we’d be right now.  Hot mess, at the minimum.

Used the Uber Chic Beauty Texture-Licious 2 plate AGAIN again and the Lina Feeling Shapely 09 for the gold horizontal lines, you know, in case recreations are in order.

Next is The Wars to Come:

This one is a cyan/blue/violet sheer multichrome with a mix of shifting multichrome flakies, fine holographic glitter and a hint of shifting iridescent microglitter.  It’s all your purple polish dreams come true, plus pajamas.  If there’s not 27 bottles of this in your shopping cart, I am var var concerned about the state of your brain.

Drooling, level EXPERT:

I mean, 27 bottles plus back-up bottles.  Cuz rational behavior is for other people.

Kinda like this one!

Finally!  It’s so simple, but I think the silver and hot pink look good on this.  How’s that for a brief moment of mojo?  I hope there’s a gift card coming, cuz effort should be rewarded, that’s why.

Used the Lina Feeling Shapely 09 plate if you’re curious.  (You are this time!)

Lastly, here’s Rains of Castamere:

This one is a violet/blue/red multichrome with blue/red shifting microglitter, ultra holo glitter and fine holographic microglitter.  Seriously, double the purple!  Who just died a little?  Ugh.  And this is my fave kind of purple too.  A red-toned one.  Legit no joke happiness in a bottle.

To seal the deal:

Bye bye checkbook.

Sorry about this one:

What can I say, it was 2 in the morning and my nose was running in a most unattractive way.  The fact it even exists is really quite the miracle.  Cuz even though I am sick and snotty and snorty and gross, I am also a dadgum professional who gets shit DONE.  Well, just nail shit, that is.  I mean, you read the top of this blog right?  You didn’t just jump in here in the middle like a crazy person?

Used the Lina Feeling Shapely 09 plate again.  Clearly I love it in a stalker-y, smother-y kinda way.

The round up:

As mentioned before, I received 5 out of the 10 polishes in this collection.  Just for funsies, here is what else you can get:

Dark Wings, Dark Words – a sapphire/violet/red multichrome with all the glitters

Mother’s Mercy – a purple/violet/green multichrome with shifting multichrome flakies and more glitters

The Bear and the Maiden Fair – a pink/red/copper with red/gold shifting microglitter plus all those other glitters

Winds of Winter – a cyan/blue/purple/red multichrome with the glitters

The Mountain and the Viper – a sapphire/cyan/green multichrome with shifting multichrome flakies, blue/red shifting microglitters and those same glitters

Okay, someone got lazy about that glitter thing.  Not even sorry about it.  Maybe 2%.

To see swatches of the entire collection, take a look at my pal, Cheyenne’s, blog by clicking here.  Now once you are fully informed and adequately convinced, let’s spend some money:

Whole set of 10 retails for $120 but you can snag it for $108 if you purchase during the first 96 hours.

Single bottles are $12 (although a moot point since all 10 are in the basket)

This collection releases tomorrow, May 4th at 2pm EST.  Set alarms, write a billion Post-It notes and rearrange your schedules.  Glam Polish up top, people!  To shop, click here!

Congratulations on your good decision.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Fair Maiden Polish: Pony Parade Collection 

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I spent three hours in the bathtub today cuz the actual thought of hoisting myself out of it was almost too much to bear. Like, I might as well have been 18000 pounds, considering how well this was going. Hubby came in to check on me and actually offered to pull me out, which is both sweet and slightly alarming.   In either case, he loves being married to me, I just know it. 

But omg, guys. I’m sooooo tired. I stayed up til 530 this morning trying to be a nail blogger but things were failing all over the place. Perhaps blogging with your eyes closed isn’t the brightest idea. I mean, I had two polishes to review. TWO. That should’ve taken one hour, tops. I’ve just come to the conclusion that I can’t write with the TV on. Cuz a Full House + Friends + Fresh Prince of Bel Air marathon doesn’t bode well for the attention span. And responsibilities are things for other people. 

However, deadlines are deadlines, and I am a dadgum professional.  I published once today and here I am back again like no big deal. Is there an award coming then, cuz I’m feeling very deserving right about now.

Sarah and Adrienne, the two lovely ladies behind Fair Maiden Polish, sent me this awesome swatch pack to show off for you today.  First time on the blog y’all, and I’m so super fancy!  I’ve got their 5-piece spring collection, all inspired by the vintage 1980s version of My Little Ponies.  How stinkin’ cute is that? (Very.)  Let’s have a good look then!  Here’s Pony Parade:

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

I love everything 80s.  Gimme all the music, all the toys, and all the unfortunate clothes my mother dressed me in.    I want the roller rink on a Friday night, the church camp where I did more kissing things than church things, and all the sleepovers – even the one where I woke up in my best friend’s pee.  I just love that feeling of nostalgia. In fact, the older I get, the more I crave it.

There’s something to be said about the simplicity in life.  Let’s just go back to that time, shall we, cuz I’m tired of driving myself to places.  And I’m not interested in paying utility bills anymore.  Actually, let’s roll all the way back to before I learned to shave my legs, cuz I’m not much interested in that thing either.  Yep, I’m all in for a field trip to the 80s and all the mix tapes and bicycle rides to the post office that it comes with.  Plus, I believe there’s a 7th grade class missing their Spelling Bee Champion, and that girl I slapped in the ear?  Well, I’m pretty sure she’s missing me too.

And now, the polish.  First up is Locket:

This one is a punchy pink holographic with duochrome shimmer that shifts violet/orange with multi holographic sparkles.  Now, I’m not the world’s best at photographing duochromes unless you find extreme hand contortion to be some sort of selling point instead of the circus side show it really is.  However, hopefully these photos will give you an idea at least.  The lights do show off the violet, but the orange is more elusive.  It’s in there, but only slight.

Under the lamps:

A macro EXTRAVAGANZA!

You see the orange in the upper right in the bottle macro?  Yep, I’m soooooo good at blogging, you guys!

Some nail art I did:

Kinda cute, right?  I mean, if you’re into zero displays of effort, this is a pretty good one.  Took me less than 5 minutes to make cuz creativity is a strange and unreachable thing, and if there’s an easy road in front of me, imma gonna take it.

Used the Uber Chic Beauty Mother’s Day plate for this one, just so you know.

Next up is Peachy:

This one is a light peach holographic with a violet/red shifty shimmer and multi holographic sparkles.  And surprisingly, despite how extra sausage-y my fingers look in neutrals, I really like this color.  It’s very elegant and sweet and 2.5 seconds away from tea with the Queen.  Cuz this one begs to hold a tiny sandwich, I’m pretty sure.

Under the lamps:

It’s so glowy; I die.

Lolling tongues ahead!

Some not-hideous nail art:

Sometimes I make cute things.  I like this one, finally.  A brief moment of mojo, and I’m gonna revel in it for the next 987 years.  Give or take.   

Used the Uber Chic Beauty 15-02 plate, and it’s a good one!

Now here’s Seaflower:

This one is a seafoam green holographic with a violet/red shifty shimmer and more of those multi holographic sparkles.  Lemme just say, this is my favorite.  Cuz GREEN, but who is surprised?  You’ve read this blog before right?  I mean, where there is green, there is also me reattaching my jaw to my face for the 18000th time.

Under the lamps:

Do you hear angels?  Cuz I hear angels.

Will the macros ever end?  NO.

Kinda proud of this one:

I made actual effort cuz gradient stamping doesn’t just appear by magic.  Sad, I know.  Cuz if I could just lounge on couches instead, that’d be great.

Used the Uber Chic Beauty 15-02 plate again and picked out some purple and aqua stamping polish to compliment the base and shimmer.  Sounds like someone thought things through for once.  Hope a Starbucks is coming.  You know, if y’all not busy.

Next up is Moonstone:

This one is a soft blue holographic with a violet/orange duochrome shift and – you guess it – those multi holographic sparkles.  Still having trouble photographing the orange, but you can see the violet really well.  Either way though, all you blue lovers just died a little bit.  You done did.

Under the lamps:

A ridiculous display of pretty:

Some simple art:

I don’t love it, but I don’t hate it.  I mean, no one is giving me a trophy for this one, pretty sure.  Even a participation ribbon might need committee approval first.  

Used the Lina Feeling Shapely 08 plate in case recreations are in order.  Hahahaha.  Blah.

Lastly, here’s Twilight:

This one is a vibrant purple holographic with a duochrome shift of blue and orange and more multi holographic sparkles than we know what to do with.   Gotta end this collection on a high note right?  And then you’re buying every single one of these cuz you make good decisions.  I mean, you’ve somehow managed to still be reading this blog, so toots for you my friend.

Under the lamps:

Seriously, the sparkle is insane.  In person, they’re all a driving hazard to the trillionth degree.

Final macros in case you’re on the fence:

Cuz the fence is no place for a lady.

I don’t know what this one is:

Bye bye mojo.

Used the Uber Chic Beauty 15-03 plate if you’re curious.  (You’re not.)  Moving on!

The round up:

The Pony Parade Collection released for pre-sale just yesterday, so you’re all set for shopping!  Each polish is $10 or you can get the whole set for $46.  They also have the set in minis for $30 if that’s your thing.  Head over to the shop and toss em all in the cart.  Serious. I mean it.  Click here immediately.  The sale is available until tomorrow evening (May 1), so we have a dire POLISH EMERGENCY! on our hands.  Don’t miss it, otherwise it’s a sad state of affairs for you.

Now you can sit back, relax and stalk the mailman like a certified loon.  I mean, what other response could be more logical?  You don’t get to CRAZY NAIL LADY by being rational.  And why be obsessesed if you can’t do it properly?

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Cupcake Polish: Special Effects Toppers + Delishious Nails Collaboration Polish

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Wasn’t I just in here blogging?  I swear I was.

GUYS.  It’s still Polish Con week and I’m desperately trying to be a proper nail blogger and do things on time and whatnot.  And because this time crunch is legit no joke, I can’t even ramble on like I tend to do.  How sad are you right now?  (Very.)

Hope you’ll enjoy the blog despite all that.  I mean, there’s still polish and that’s the whole reason I’m in here talking to myself on a daily basis anyway.  After the chaos of this week,  I’ll be back to making not a lick of sense like normal.  But admit it:  you’re gonna miss me.

Let’s dive in!  First time on the blog y’all and I feel like a fancy lady!  Sara with Cupcake Polish sent me a bunch of goodies to review for you today.  A whoooooole lot of pretty is 2.5 seconds away.

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

This is their Special Effect Toppers collection, a set of six toppers designed to be layered over other polishes to completely transform your mani.  There’s so many fun things you can do with these, so naturally I went basic and applied over black.  I’m not good at nails, let’s just say.  Cuz last time I tried to make something cool, I ended up with a meth owl and scared all the babies.  Oopsie.

First up is Lemon Icing:

This one is a yellow tinted holographic topper.  Only one coat over black.  Things are starting out well.

Under the lamps, it gets insane:

Someone bring me the smelling salts.  It’s getting super pass-out-y in here.

Some nail art I did:

Meh.  It’s okay.  I was trying to be clever by doing yellow stamping on the yellow one.  And while I’ve certainly done worse (you’ve read this blog before, right?), no one is handing me an award or anything.

Used the new Lina Feeling Shapely 09 plate, which is full of mix n match geometric designs.  All good for a person who has an eye for such things.  But throw a bit of OCD in there, and too much mix n matchy means a whole tube of hives cream, at the minimum.  In other words, an incident is coming on, I just know it.

Next up is Sprinkles:

This is a scattered silver holographic glitter topper.  Look how much bling you get with one layer!  Party nails just like that.  Or napping nails, if you’re me.

Don’t look at this one:

I don’t even know what happened.  I used the Uber Chic Beauty Texture-licious 2 plate and accidentally made carpet from a roller rink in 1985.  Blah.

Now here’s Strawberry Icing:

This one is a pink tinted holographic topper, once again layered over black.  I also did two coats on my naked thumb and it covered really well and made a lovely pastel pink holographic.

Then I didn’t take a picture for you cuz BEST BLOGGER EVER.

Under the lamps:

Do you hear angels? I hear angels. 

Mojo = DEAD:

Here it is: the INCIDENT.  This is what happens when you don’t think things through first.  Someone needs to come take my stamping plates away.

Just kidding!  I will cut you.

Used the Lina Feeling Shapely 09 plate again in case you’re curious.  (You’re not.)  Moving on!

Next up is Icing:

This one is a silver holographic topper, a nice dense version for good coverage. One layer. Over black. You know the drill by now. 

Under the lamps:

Dreamy! You’re buying one bottle of this one plus 27 back-up bottles cuz you do CRAZY NAIL LADY like a dadgum champion. 

Not-hideous nail art, for once:

I mean, it’ll do. I’ll take this brief moment of mojo and revel in it. 

Used the new Lina Mad for Mandalas in case recreations are in order.  And kudos and accolades, you know, if y’all not busy. 

Here’s Bubblegum Icing:

This one is a cyan blue tinted holographic topper. It’s soooo pretty! I’d lick it if it wasn’t so poison-y. 

Under the lamps:

An ocean of lovely. I see a billion mermaid manis just waiting to happen. 

So, of course I did chevrons:

Okay, not gonna lie. This one’s pretty awesome.  Quick! Someone get me my horn so I can toot it. 

Used the Lina Feeling Shapely 09 plate for the shapes and the Make Your Mark 04 plate for the splatter background. Added matte top coat, dropped the mic and straight up left the room. 

Lastly, this is Frosting:

This one is an iridescent opal glitter topper, and seriously guys. If you haven’t drooled in a thousand buckets by this point, you’re about to get suuuuuuper unattractive right about now. Ugly Ecstasy Face is a dire thing. 

Nail art, no jazz hands:

Well, that didn’t last long now did it?  Bye bye mojo. 

Used the Uber Chic Beauty Op Art Magic plate and made a most unfortunate decision. Plate is great until I get my grabby hands on it. I’m like that person who continually does things they shouldn’t. Like putting food in my mouth without looking at it first, then spending the next 197 hours waiting for death.

Someone needs to come save me from me. 

The round up:

These all release early at Polish Con in New York City this Saturday, April 29, but for all us sad souls who live in the middle of nowhere exciting, we can snag these beauties online on May 6 at 2pm CST.

Toppers are $9 each and can be purchased at http://www.cupcakepolish.com – or by clicking here, cuz who’s game for some unnecessary typing?  NOT ME.

The other new release is a collaboration shade with blogger Alicia with Delishious Nails called Delishiously Jaded. May is Alicia’s birthday month and emerald green is her birthstone, and I swear I’ve never been so happy.  Take a look at this ridiculousness:

Gah!

This one is a green linear holographic with scattered holo microglitters and a green to blue shifting shimmer.  Opaque in two of the most delicious coats of your life. That is not a typo. 

Under the lamps:

Sara, what are you doing to me?  Cuz I do not look good with my tongue lolling about outside my body. It causes divorce if I’m not mistaken. 

I swear, what is wrong with me:

Used the Lina Feeling Shapely 09 plate one last time, and naturally I’m just sticking things on all willy nilly. Cuz my brain done went somewhere, that’s why.

I mean, I guess I don’t hate it, but WHAT IS IT?! is the actual question. 

This polish also releases early at Polish Con on 4/29 but will return online for a limited time on May 6 at 2pm thru May 31 at 11:59pm CST.  Which means POLISH EMERGENCY! so make sure you arrange your life accordingly.

Price is $13 and available in the same place by clicking here.

That’s it, gang!  We survived another blogging day.  Only a slight carpal tunnel-type situation over here, no big deal.  Getting in pajamas now cuz staying sexy is var var hard work.

OMG, what?!  Shut up, brain.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Glisten & Glow: The 5 Buroughs Collection (plus two Polish Con extras!)

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Four years ago today, hubby was late to his own wedding.  And the fact I almost married my brother seems sooooo much less alarming in comparison.  On April 20, 2013, things weren’t organized well, let’s just say. 

Listen, I suppose this is what happens when you buy the cheap package.  You get a wedding march that starts playing with zero warning whatsoever; you get a coordinator who shoves your just-finished bouquet in your hands WHILE you are walking down the aisle, and you get a preacher who thinks the brother who is giving you away is actually the man you’re about to pledge your life to.  I mean, a little research ahead of time would’ve worked wonders in this scenario.  Maybe a note on a napkin about how if the groom is missing up front, it’s probably not time to start a dadgum wedding yet?  Like, at the minimum, at least.

Regardless, I’m walking and smiling with all eyes on me.  I’m oblivious to the fact my husband isn’t in the room.  Although I’m quite aware of the door right over there that leads to a secret underground moonshine tunnel, cuz when you’re having a hillbilly wedding, what else would you expect?

The preacher has a little twinkle in his eye as he begins the ceremony.  My brother is looking a skosh awkward, and honestly at this point, I just want cake.  There are horrified eyes everywhere.  The vibe in the room is less joyous occasion, more train wreck but with candles.  And still, I stand there smiling, one of just two people who has no idea what is going on.

Eventually, the preacher figures it out and I’m sent back out of the room so I can re-walk down the aisle and pretend I’m having a never-before-seen magical moment.  Completely normal situation – or at least in my life, it is.  Cuz if something’s gotta be awkward, the Universe just gives a big swift shove to my back.  AND THERE I AM.  Most likely with stupid words coming out and high-fiving my way out of the nightmare.

What I’m trying to say is, today is my wedding anniversary.  I’ve managed to stay married an entire four years, despite the ridiculous amount of robe on display.  I’d say I got pretty lucky, cuz if I’m forced to walk back and forth twice through a room, the only acceptable reason would be if hubby was standing at the end of it.  Happy anniversary, my love!

While we all wipe the tears away, let’s talk polish!  I have lots of pretty things from Glisten & Glow to show you today, including the gorgeous 5 Boroughs Collection as well as a couple of Polish Con limited releases.  Y’all need to get on your focus faces cuz it’s about to get suuuuuuper duper pass-out-y in here.  Let’s go!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

First up is the most time crucial, the two Polish Con releases.  Take a look:

Oh so pretty!  Every single one of you are drooling all over these in the most unattractive way possible.  Hope you’ve locked yourself in a room so you can be drool-y in private. Cuz Ugly Ecstasy Face causes divorce if I’m not mistaken.

Here’s A Raisin to Believe:

This one is a dark vampy purple-toned burgundy holographic with added pops of red holo microglitter.  It’s a collaboration shade between Glisten & Glow and beauty blogger Nicole with Hello Miss Niki.  It’s also going in your shopping cart, just so you know.

Macro time!

Isn’t that one of the prettiest purples you’ve ever saw?  Seen?  You’ve ever seen?  Ugh.  One can’t grammar at a time like this.

This polish will be releasing at Polish Con in New York City on April 29 but for all us sad souls who live in the middle of where nothing exciting ever happens, we get to purchase this beauty online on May 5.  It will launch at 9pm EST, so make sure you’ve got Post-It notes on all your surfaces.

Some nail art I did:

And I actually kinda love it!  Let’s revel in whatever amazing thing is happening right now.  Cuz a nail fail is lurking, I feel it.

I used the new Lina Feeling Shapely 09 plate for this design.  Plus, I gradient stamped, which means effort was involved, which means naps for everyone!

Next up is NYC is My Jam:

This one is a berry pink holographic loaded with purple and blue holo microglitters and a dusting of silver holo and copper shimmer.  Only one batch of this polish is being made and will be sold at Polish Con; however, if there are any leftovers, Jill will put them on the website on May 5.

In other words, we’re all buying tickets to Polish Con cuz sitting around while others stuff their bags full of Glisten & Glow is just for the crazy people.

An actual pretty dang good macro:

The blue glitters got me.  They got me good, guys.

More not hideous nail art:

That’s two in a row in case math is hard.  

I used the new Lina Make Your Mark 04 plate, and made some girly skulls.  Very simple design, but stinkin’ adorable!  Toots on the ole horn for me, then.

Also debuting at Polish Con is The 5 Buroughs Collection, a set of 5 beautiful holographic shimmery shades inspired by the five boroughs of New York.  Take a look at these:

Did you just die?  Cuz I sure did.  You’re about to spend some money, I just know it.

First up is Manis in Manhattan:

This one is a dusty purple based mauve holographic with a strong copper shimmer and a dusting of red and silver holo microglitters.  Went on in two fabulous, quick coats.  Perfect for those who have actual shit to do, unlike me who just lays on couches.

Lolling tongues, up ahead:

Gah!  Seriously, we’re never gonna make it to the end of this blog if I keep dying every 15 seconds.

The nail art:

Another one I don’t hate.  And I used the Lina Make Your Mark 04 plate again, cuz when I love something, I love it hardcore.  In a smothering way, as one tends to do.

Next up is Beatboxing in the Bronx:

This one is an olive green holographic with added pink and blue shimmers and a dusting of gold flakies and gold holo microglitters.  Naturally, this is my favorite cuz wherever there is green, there is me trying to reattach my jaw to my face.

We are no longer upright:

Told ya.  Those shimmers are legit gorgeous.  I want this all over my body, except I won’t, cuz SOCIETY.  The judgy eyes are everywhere.

More effort was made here:

Hope there’s a Starbucks coming cuz the sheer amount of nail art happening right now is downright inspirational.  Send Leonardo, too, just in case.

Used the Lina Make Your Mark 04 plate for the billionth time.  More gradient stamping using pink and gold, a little play off those shimmers.  It’s as if I thought this one through or something.  Or maybe the old me isn’t even here right now.  Perhaps I’ve been kidnapped cuz that seems more logical.

Here’s Quick Step in Queens:

This one is a medium grey creme-based holographic loaded with blue shimmers and a very light dusting of gold flakies.  I love shades like this cuz they always look so good against my pale skin tone.  Anything to make the fingers appear less sausage-y.  And in case of random hand modeling scenarios, 27 backup bottles is a super good idea.

You can see the goodies much better here:

Proof I occasionally make cute things:

This might be my favorite one!  Plus, every bit of this is Glisten & Glow products – cuz Jill’s cremes double as stamping polishes.  I’ve used Little Black Dress and ATV in Aruba (the pink) for this design, plus that dadgum Lina Make Your Mark 04 plate again.  Honestly, why obsess if you can’t do it properly?

Next is Brunch in Brooklyn:

This one is a light pink holographic with light pink holo microglitters and a dusting of blue and gold shimmers.  How precious is this shade?  So elegant and dainty.  It simply begs for a tiny cappucino or like, tea with the Queen, as happens to all of us from time to time.

An insane display of pretty:

Figured this one needed 18 pounds of jewelry:

I gave up after only four pieces.  I’m not good at goals, let’s just say.

I’m not even going to tell you which plate I used cuz I’m certain you already know.  After typing out Lina Make Your Mark 04 plate about 18,000 times, not much else can be expected out of me, anyway.

Lastly, here’s Selfies in Staten Island:

This one is a nude holographic loaded with copper, bronze and gold shimmers with a light dusting of silver holo microglitters.  If you like lots of extra holo effect, you’ll definitely want this one.  I can’t think of one decent reason why not.  Perhaps you have no eyes, or you have a black soul.  But after that, NOTHING.

Let’s seal the deal:

DONE.  In the cart, they go!

Here’s some super simple nail art:

Used a different plate, the Lina Feeling Shapely 09 on this one, which means I just ended this blog with a big ole exclamation point.  How’s that for Best Bogger Ever?  And in that case, I’ll take kudos and accolades and a Visa gift card, you know, if y’all not busy.
The round up:

This collection will be available at Polish Con in New York City on April 29, then will be re-released online on May 5 at 9pm EST.  Be sure to get your hands on them, so setting 17 alarms at the minimum sounds right.  Click here for shopping, then sit back, relax, and stalk the mailman.  Cuz no one does crazy nail lady quite like you.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Flirtin’: Polish Con Limited Edition + Say I Do Collection 

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I’m behind again.  The blogs are piling up, and I’m over here watching Full House reruns like responsibilities are things for other people.  I mean, I literally just sat here putting Doritos in my mouth without even looking at them first cuz BRAIN FUNCTION: OUT THE WINDOW.  Gah!  What about the poison ones, then?!  Now that my wits have returned, I’m pretty sure hypochondria starts in roughly 2.5 seconds.  And then I shall wait for death for 197 hours at the minimum cuz I am the most ridiculous person on the planet.

Being me is hard, you guys. SO. HARD.

Since we’re in a bit of a time crunch and I’ve already wasted 18 hours writing one paragraph, let’s jump into some polish.  I received a couple of swatch packs from Flirtin‘ to review for you today.  I’ve got 3 out of 6 polishes from the Say I Do spring collection as well as their Polish Con exclusive shade.  Engage: Shopping Hand cuz you’re about to spend some money, I just know it.  Let’s take a look:

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

First up is the most time sensitive, the Polish Con exclusive.  Here’s Brooklyn’s Bombshell:

First of all, if you’re one of the lucky ones going to Polish Con in New York City this year, I only hate you just a tiny bit.  I can’t plan things for shit, so naturally I chose a wedding date four years ago that is really super inconvenient right about now.  Guess I’ll take an anniversary trip instead.  UGH.

Anyway, this is Sham’s take on a glimmering New York skyline and the infamous Brooklyn Bridge.  The base is a delicious turquoise creme filled with a dusting of holo and some blue fleck things.  Which is a technical term obviously, cuz I’m SO GOOD AT BLOGGING.

Under the lamps:

You die!

This was opaque in two coats, which is typical of most of Sham’s polishes.  It’s such a pretty shade for the season, and those of you heading to Polish Con need to stop by Flirtin’s table and toss a bottle in your basket.  And some back up bottles in case you lick all over the first one.  As happens from time to time.

If you live close to NYC and didn’t know about Polish Con, click here for info and tickets.  Happening next weekend, April 29.  Just follow the huge crowd of crazy people holding giant shopping bags and a thousand drool buckets.

Next is Flirtin’s spring 2017 collection called Say I Do:

Sham decided on a bridal theme for this season, and for real, who wants every last one of these?  (You, to be clear.)  I love these soft and soothing shades – they’re perfect in every way.  In the cart they go!

First up is Something Blue:

This one has a denim blue base filled with a dusting of holographic glitter.  See how less sausage-y it makes my fingers look? That means we lub it lots, and now we can’t turn our back on it even if there’s a naked Leonardo holding a Starbucks in the other room.

Just kidding.  I mean, I may do stupid things (cuz POISON DORITOS, if you’ll recall), but when it comes to Leonardo, I am 27 kinds of serious.  Serious, but with a drool problem.  A SEX MACHINE, clearly.

Nail art I did:

I don’t hate these!  Let’s celebrate this brief moment of mojo.

Used the Lina 4 Seasons – Summer 01 plate and lots and lots of magic.

Next up is To Have & To Hold:

This one has a soft sage green base with holo glitters galore.  It’s very very springy, and probably delicious if we were locked in a room by ourselves away from judgy eyes.

Check out this macro:

Gah!  It’s super pass-out-y.

Don’t look at these:

I made wallpaper nails.  Blah.  Sometimes when I do nails, my brain goes away somewhere.  And then bad things happen in a stamping retaliation scenario sort of way.

Used the layered floral image from the Uber Chic Beauty 13-03 plate in case you’re curious.  (You’re not.)  Moving on!

Lastly, here’s Just Married:

This is a soft peachy coral shade, inspired by the sunset.  See those red bits in there?  And that gold shimmer?  And all the tongues, lolling?  Yep, this polish has suddenly made us all suuuuuuuper unattractive.  Cuz there’s only so much sexy to go around while your mouth is unattached from your body.

Kinda okay nail art:

I mean, I’ve done worse right?  And I actually attempted some reverse stamping, which means EFFORT was involved, which means I’m getting back in pajamas cuz I’ve had a var var hard day.

Used the Lina 4 Seasons – Spring 01 plate in case recreations are in order.

The round up:

As I mentioned before, the Say I Do collection is available now, since getting this blog written took approximately eons with light years and eternities on top.  Here’s the deets:

Collection consists of 6 shades, and each bottle retails for $8

In addition, Sham is offering a special deal for brides.  If you order one of the six polishes, you may mail in a swatch of one of your wedding colors and place an order for a custom formulated polish.  Cuz matchy matchy is less hobo-y and seems to be the most appropriate direction to go for a wedding.  But what do I know, really?  I’m still wearing pants with a stapled-back-together hem, so I’m not the best source for fashion advice.  Anyway, if you’re interested in a custom, click here to order.

If you’re just a regular person (i.e., crazy nail lady) just looking for more polish to hoard, click here instead.  Then sit back, relax and stalk the mailman.  Cuz it’s the most logical response at this point.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Nailed It!: Sprung Into Spring Collection 

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Hubby left to go play golf and now I’m just sitting here wondering if I’m expected to make my own dinner or what?  Cuz it’s been at least six years since I’ve cooked anything, and I’m certain if it’s not a cup of instant mac ‘n cheese, things will not turn out well.  Or it’ll take nine years to chop up a garlic clove, and honestly, I just don’t have much commitment in me.  I sit down for a living; if I’m moving around at all, it’s cuz someone put a Starbucks in the other room or something.

I suppose it’s all my fault about the golfing.  I encouraged it.  I mean, hubby bought golf clubs during a “just in case” kind of moment, so when the opportunity came, I practically shooed him out the door.  I said all sorts of supportive wifely things, such as have fun, be good, and do you need an instruction manual?  Cuz I’ve known him since 2011 and golf has happened approximately zero plus never divided by what is golf, exactly?  In other words, there’s a comedy show down at the golf course if y’all’s not busy.

So while we wait for food to magically appear, I’ve got more pretty spring things to share!  I received the new Nailed It! Sprung Into Spring collection, and they are beauties!  Plus an opportunity for a glitter topper that justifies spending all your money.  You excited?  Well, you should be.  Take a look:

All your favorite Easter colors all lined up so nice.  Each with subtle sparkly, flakie-y effects.  You want them all, just so you know.    Cuz you’re the best crazy nail lady there ever was.

First up is Lovely Lilac:

This one is a lilac creme with a delicate dose of purple and blue flakies.  Tiny touch of holo to make it special-er.  Also, two quick coats cuz you have busy lives to tend to.  Not everyone lays on couches like me.

Close up of the goodies:

Dreamy!  You purple lovers just died a little.

Next up is Spring Fling:

This one is a soft pink creme with golden flakies and touch of holo.  It was hard to capture the sparkle cuz it was honestly pretty subtle.  In person, though, you can see it much better.  Now I did three coats here since pink is much lighter, but also I was swatching while sleeping cuz naps happen all by themselves whether I like it or not.  I kinda failed at this one, is what I’m saying.

Lolling tongue alert!

It really is a pretty color.  Darker than pastel, which makes my see-thru skin look sooooo much less unattractive.

Now here’s Blue Skies Ahead:

This one is my favorite, I think! I’m loving this bright baby blue creme.  Add in a touch of purple sparks and bit of holo shimmer, and can someone please help me hold my mouth closed?  Cuz my brain has stopped working.

Another macro in case you wanna pass out for a second:

This one was a smoooooooth two coater.  It’s lovely.  If you’re buying just one – although LOGIC, STRAIGHT OUT THE WINDOW – then I recommend this one first.

Well, no more blogging I guess:

Seriously, who’s cat is this?  Cuz mine wouldn’t dare, not even when I’m covered in Popeye’s chicken crumbs, which happens more than you think.  Although perhaps he’s trying to kill me, which in that case, makes 100% more sense.  Cuz CLAWS.  Ouchie.

Lastly, here’s Poppin’ Periwinkle:

This one is a pastel periwinkle blurple-y shade with pink, purple and blue flakies and more of that holographic sparkle.  So stinkin’ pretty.  If you love purple, then this one is calling your name.  Most likely in a French accent and handing you a Starbucks cuz what could be more perfect than that scenario?  Besides, Leonardo in your living room with a basketful of kittens that is.

Let’s seal the deal:

Do you hear angels?  I hear angels.

And in case you’re still not convinced properly, here’s one more thing:

The cutest glitter topper you ever did see!  It’s called Bloom and it’s full of different sized glitters in varying shades of purple and aqua and I’m thinking there’s silver in there too.  Here, I’ve layered it over Poppin’ Periwinkle and it looks dang fabulous.  You a fancy lady now!

An insane display of pretty:

You’re about 2 seconds away from sticking your fingers in people’s faces.   Look at mah nails!  Surprisingly, society isn’t as interested as one might think.  SOCIETY is zero fun sometimes.

Some nail art I did:

Get a good look at these, cuz this is literally as good as it gets.  I used the layered floral image from Uber Chic Beauty 15-02 plate right on top of Lovely Lilac, and I think it turned out so cute.  High fives were everywhere, which is the only logical reaction to a brief moment of mojo.  Then the Universe said SIMMER DOWN CRAZY, and bad things started to happen.

So, do NOT look at this one:

I said don’t look!  Ugh.  

I used the Uber Chic Beauty Yay Spring plate on top of Blue Skies Ahead on the middle finger, then I attempted some dry marble decals for my other fingers.  NOPE doesn’t even begin to describe this scenario.

OMG, mojo has done took a vacay.  Keep scrolling.

I used the Uber Chic Beauty Yay Spring plate again, this time over Spring Fling, and I’m thinking someone needs to take the stamping plates away.

Okay, I kinda like this one:

Actually, I really like it.  The most simplest one of them all; go figure.

I used the Lina Make Your Mark 03 plate with Poppin’ Periwinkle and the Bloom glitter on top.  Recreations are in order, yes?  YES.

The round up:

The Sprung Into Spring collection released a couple days ago so you’re all set for shopping!  Here’s the deets:

Entire 4-piece collection is $30

Single bottles $8.50 (if you must)

And remember, the first 10 people to order gets a free Bloom glitter topper, so go right now. POLISH EMERGENCY! At the minimum.
Also, in case you weren’t already having the best day ever, use code dianna15 and get 15% off your order.  That is your reward for reading all the way to the bottom.

Click here for shopping!  And if you have a horn handy, give yourself a little toot.  Cuz you make good decisions, that’s why.

Later, loves!