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Jumping straight into the polish tonight as this Polish Emergency thing we’ve got going on just NEVER freaking ends. One of these days I’ll be a proper blogger, I swear it. In my defense though, I’ve been practicing my lounging skillz and I’m quite certain there’s an Olympic-style awards type situation headed my way any day.  Cuz I just spent the past 3 hours browsing YouTube and somehow ended up watching a video on the tips and tricks of changing your colostomy bag.  And I don’t have a colostomy bag.  Soooo … ONE TRILLION BONUS POINTS!  I can think of no one else more deserving than ME.  Cuz when I tell you I lounge on couches except not in a sexy way, well clearly I freaking MEAN IT.

OMG, what just happened?  Whose blog is this?  UGH. Let’s just get to the polish before more stupid things come out.  I have the new February Shimmer Me Box to share with you today, and I swear it’s about to get 27 levels of elbow jabby in approximately  2.5 seconds.  You ready to karate chop your way to the front of the line?  Well then by all means … lesss go!

No one is safe now.  NOT A SINGLE DADGUM ONE OF YOU.

The theme for February is Chocolate Lover, and honestly, we can just stop the blog right there cuz anytime the word chocolate is around, we want like 18,000 of whatever it is.  Luckily it’s chocolate themed nail polish, cuz at least that’s more useful than sayyyy, a bulk box full of crickets, i.e., NOT a delicacy of any kind whatsoever.  Even ones dipped in chocolate.

Annnnnd, there’s that stupid thing we were all waiting for.  Seriously, someone just needs to come take the blog away.  Except don’t or I will cut you.

Alongside our usual Shimmer Me peeps (Native War Paints, Tux Polish, Colors by Llarowe – a basic powerhouse of magicians, right?), the featured guest this month is Miss Tanya from My Indie Polish.  And we’ll start with her polish first because a) she is the guest, b) we know our manners and c) well, just look at this thing:

MY INDIE POLISH: OK I’LL EAT THE FRUIT

DESCRIPTION:  A brown/purple base with a ton of blue shimmer and sparkle, with a touch of holographic microglitter

OPACITY:  Two coats plus top coat

Did y’all just die?  Cuz I sure did.  That blue shimmer is LEGIT.  It doesn’t hang around in the back being all shy and quiet; this blue is up front and center with it’s jazz hands on.  It’d be wayyyy too braggy with it’s shimmery self if we didn’t love it so dadgum much.  THAT’S IT. We’ll take a billion bottles.  I can see no other way around it.

COLORS BY LLAROWE: RASPBERRY TRUFFLE

DESCRIPTION:  A cherry red jelly with silver glass fleck

OPACITY:  Two coats plus glossy top coat

I think I’ll just stay a melty puddle of goo, cuz I’m quite certain that’s how this thing’s gonna go from here on out.  This red is ridiculous.  I mean, what a gorgeous, glowy bottle full of sexy!  And I’m serious this time, unlike when I call myself a walking pile of sex but, like, I’m covered in sweatpants and a robe and about 17 crocheted afghans.

TUX POLISH: WHITE CHOCOLATE TRUFFLE

DESCRIPTION:  A white crelly with red shimmer and various sizes of larger pink holographic glitter

OPACITY:  Three thin coats plus glossy top coat

If you’re a fan of white crellies, you’re gonna love this adorable little thing!  The shimmer in it is slightly more subtle, but those pink glitters are stinkin’ CUTE.  Formula is a tad thicker than average but easily managed, and it just looks so neat and clean on the nail. Reminds me of crushed peppermint bark or something.  I won’t lie: I kinda wanna lick it. I mean, I’m sure it’s slightly more poison-y than expected but that is beside the point.

Close up of that shimmer:

NATIVE WAR PAINTS: THIS BEAUTY LOVES CHOCOLATE

DESCRIPTION:  A pale pinky mauve holographic with gold shimmer

OPACITY:  Three coats plus glossy top coat

Well here we go, ending this blog on a high note.  Normally, neutral shades like this aren’t ones I gravitate towards, but OMG just look how glorious this is!  It’s such a flattering shade and that golden glow really warms it up.  Amanda and Brian, YOU get a horn toot!  Cuz anytime you can make my sad white sausages look less sad and sausage-y, some kudos and accolades are in order. You might be professionals or something.  Perhaps?  PERHAPS.

THE ROUND UP

Prolly the best box of chocolate you EVER did see.  Wallets are officially flying out of purses, everywhere.

Price of this box is $36 plus shipping, so about $40-ish. Approximately. Give or take. Soooo totally helpful information, I know.

Pre-order runs from Friday, February 9 at 12pm EST until Saturday, February 17 at 11:55pm EST. I don’t know what all you’ve got planned for the day, but I’m pretttty sure buying this box is right at the top of it.  Cuz it’s practically Valentine’s Day and who needs roses while this box is the key to all sorts of happiness?  CERTAINLY NOT YOU.

Polish Emergency Alert!  After the pre-order is over, the polishes are gone and delaying your own happiness is like 27 levels of some kinda RUDE.  Just so you know.

Where to buy: http://www.nativewarpaints.com

The linky loos! Connect with the Shimmer Me Box:

Instagram

Fan Group – where you can submit theme ideas, inspiration photos and vote, vote, vote. Come be a part of the fun!

Later, loves!

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