Tag Archives: swatches

Anchor & Heart Lacquer: The Maine Squeeze Collection + Polish Con Limited Editions

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After all the horn tooting the other day, I failed to post a blog last night and now the failure of that moment is almost too much to bear.  Is that what we can expect now from your BEST BLOGGER EVER?  Throwing out kudos and accolades and high fives in all directions, then snatching it all back in a NO SOUP FOR YOU! kind of way?

In my defense, I got paper towel fuzz in my wet nails and 2.5 seconds later, there was a dark hole and WE WERE IN IT.  I mean, there was chaos and it was everywhere.  Paper towel fuzz, then cat hair, now Dorito crumbs.  Universe, whyyyyyyy?!?!  My little mini swatch party took eons with light years and eternities on top, then it was 2 a.m. and WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO MY LIFE?

18,000 desk naps later, and here I am blogging like a dadgum professional.

Taryn with Anchor & Heart Lacquer sent me some real beauties to review for you today.  I have the two Polish Con limited editions plus the new Maine Squeeze collection, and OMG you guys.  If there was ever a time to hoard all the polish, now sounds about right.  Get off your no-buys ladies, cuz this is a legit justified situation in progress.

First things first, the Polish Con limited edition duo.  Ready to fall in love super hardcore?  Well then lesss go!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

First up is Hello, Brooklyn:

This is a raspberry pink with scattered holo, green micro flakies and green to gold iridescent micro glitters.  I love this shade of pink, man.  While pastels are all fine and good, nothing makes me look more tan and less unattractive than a nice medium pink shade.  Pretty little sausages in just two coats.

And now, a macro:

The other half of this duo is Anchor & Heart in the City:

This one has an aqua blue creme base with gold shimmer and flashes of purple and green sparks.  It’s so dreamy!  When I think of spring, it’s colors like this that quickly come to mind.  And you’re gonna want it, just so you know.  Cuz no one does Crazy Nail Lady quite like you.

An ocean of lovely:

This duo releases at Polish Con in New York this Saturday, and any leftovers will be offered in the Anchor & Heart store on May 1.  Price for each is $10, but there is special tiered pricing if you’re picking these up at Polish Con.  Deets at the bottom!

The other new release is The Maine Squeeze collection:

Seriously, it just got stupid in here.  What are words?  What is breathing?  What is not having your tongue loll about outside your body?  I swear my brain has just up and gone somewhere.  This shimmery rainbow has got me all sorts of drool-y.  Time to lock myself in my bedroom cuz Ugly Ecstasy Face causes divorce if I’m not mistaken.

First up is Lobster Roll:

This one is a peach leaning pink creme with red shimmer.  Appears more orange-ish in artificial light (above); more pink-ish outdoors (or under lamps like below).  But regardless, we love it so much.  Peach, pink, french fry, potato:  it’s all good either way.

I kinda wanna lick this one:

Except SOCIETY says no. Society is zero fun sometimes.

Next up is Portland Sunrise:

This one is an pale orange creme with a delicious red shimmer. Such a unique combo, I think.  The shimmer is subtle on the nail but when it hits the light, she glows so pretty.  Totally worth lugging around your LED lamp with you everywhere, cuz completely normal behavior is a thing for other people. 

Moan-y mouth noises are about to come out, I just know it:

Uhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnn.  See?

Now here’s Blackberry Lemonade:

This one is a medium yellow creme with lavender shimmer. At first glance, I thought this one had a red shimmer, but these photos prove otherwise.  Most likely I was swatching it with one eye closed, cuz naps just happen sometimes.  

It was hard to get a macro of such a light color, so here’s the best shot out of 2783:

I mean, not terrible but if no award is coming, I’m not surprised.

Now we have Island Pines:

This one is a mossy light green creme with pink to green shifting shimmer.  Right about this point is where I fell apart.  Drool buckets, everywhere. Cuz you can’t have a green in here like this and expect me to act like everything is fine.  EVERYTHING IS NOT FINE.  I’m trying to stay a lady, but the sweating is so dire. 

It’s super pass-out-y in here now.  Send help.

BIG. PUDDLE. OF GOO.

Next up is Beaches, Beaches:

This one is an azure blue creme with strong copper/orange shimmer, and basically all my blue lovers just died a little bit.  Is this not spectacular?!  Check her out under the lamps:

There’s no way you’re getting out of this blog without 27 back-up bottles of this one.  Cuz rational thinking:  OUT THE WINDOW.

More macro, more drool:

How you’re turning away from all this now is beyond all the comprehensions.  Perhaps you have no eyes.  A black soul, maybe.  I dunno.

Lastly, here’s Wicked Good Blueberries:

This one is a lavender purple creme with blue to purple shifting shimmer.  And naturally, we’d end with a big ole exclamation point.  The perfect cap to a perfect collection.  It’s happiness with a Starbucks and a Leonardo on top, and what more could you ask for, really?  Except for a basketful of kitties, NOT MUCH.

Macro to seal the deal:

In the cart they go!

The Maine Squeeze collection is currently on preorder in the Anchor & Heart store until April 29 at 10pm EST.  So basically, this is a POLISH EMERGENCY!  If you’re not able to snag these at Polish Con, you have just one day to get your life together.  Are you properly panicked?  Well, you should be.

During the online preorder, this set retails for $55 or you can get a single bottle for $10.  If you do miss the preorder, Taryn will be restocking these at some point later in May.  So keep watch!

POLISH CON SPECIALS:

To make it easy (cuz MATH; booooo), Taryn is offering a special tiered pricing for Polish Con goers.  One bottle is $10, three bottles is $28 and six bottles is $52.

Also, there’s mystery grab bags!   These could include box exclusives, Sunken Treasures, and/or polishes from previous collections.  Cost is $10 for two full size polishes or $5 for two minis. Whyyyyyyy, that’s practically free!  And we love free things; oh yes we do.

And don’t forget, the two Polish Con limited editions will be available online on May 1 if they don’t sell out.  Click here for shopping if so!

That’s it for today, but don’t worry – I’ll be back in a few hours posting another blog to make up for whatever the hell happened last night.  Insanity.  Ridiculousness.  A most inappropriate situation, at the minimum.  So stay tuned.  A lot of effort is on its way and you don’t wanna miss it.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Octopus Party Nail Lacquer: Polish Con Limited Editions

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Three Polish Con blogs, three days straight, and you’d think I negotiated some sort of world peace treaty with as much excitement, high fiving and general horn tooting that is happening over here.  Seriously, I’m impressing even myself considering how much effort I exude on a day to day basis.  I mean, if my office chair didn’t have wheels on it, I have no idea how I’d get over to the copy machine.  Or to the donuts on top of the file cabinet.  Ugh.  It’s a dire situation, the day they take the wheels away.

So yeah, look at me being all overachieve-y.  Spelling Bee Champion of 1987, and now THIS.  How I’m not married to Leonardo DiCaprio at this point is beyond all the comprehensions.

More polish today!  This time, our friend Dave from Octopus Party Nail Lacquer has come out with a trio of shades to debut at Polish Con this weekend and every single one of them is down below.  Bye bye checkbook and all pretenses of ladylike composure, cuz it’s about to get super elbow jabby in about 2.5 seconds.  GIMME.

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Told ya.  Want, want and NEED.  That’s your new motto.

First up is Blue York:

This one is a deliciously smooth blue jelly base filled with linear holo and lots of pink iridescent shimmer.  It’s such a pretty shade; it requires extra supervision in case of accidental painting of all the surfaces.  Hubby loves being married to me, I just know it.

A macro EXTRAVAGANZA!:

OMG.  Did you just die?  Cuz I sure did.

Guess who’s buying a bottle of this plus 27 back up bottles?  Cuz this is no time to be rational, that’s why.

Next up is The Pleasure Principal:

This one is a plum based multichrome that shifts from purple to blue to teal with a touch of orange on the edges.  And honestly, I can’t even think of proper words to describe my feelings for this beauty.  Words have left me, and now only moan-y throat noises will suffice.

Can’t stop, won’t stop:

Under the lamps, cuz I had to.  Clearly:

Sealed the deal, didn’t I?  Just try leaving this blog without tossing this one in the basket.  It’s nigh on impossible.  Unless you don’t like happiness.  Or have no eyes.  I dunno.

Two more macros, a thousand more buckets of drool:

Lastly, here’s MoMA Said Knock You Out:

This one is a bleached pastel mint crème with hidden purple flakies.  In fact, they are so hidden I almost didn’t see them unti I got up extra close.  And for a light colored creme, this had a nice, fluid formula.  I did three thin coats with zero streaks.  Self-leveled like a dadgum champion.  Basically a dreamboat in a bottle.  With ecstasy and a Starbucks on top.

An ultra lame macro:

Sometimes macro-ing cremes makes not a lick of sense.  Although you can see those flakies, so I suppose there’s that.  BEST BLOGGER EVER, in case you’re curious.

All of these shades will be available at Polish Con in New York this Saturday, April 29, so if you’re headed that way, then I only hate you a tiny bit.  For the rest of us sad souls who live nowhere near anything this exciting, you can pick up these beauties during the online restock.  Here’s the deets:

Blue York and MoMA Said Knock You Out – retail price is $11 at Polish Con or $12 during the restock

The Pleasure Principal – retail price is $12 at Polish Con or $13 during the restock

Restock dates are May 5 at 11am EST through May 7 at 12pm EST.  MoMA and Blue York will be available as a pre-order, but The Pleasure Principal is a 70 bottle batch only.  So POLISH EMERGENCY! is what I’m saying.

Click here to order!  And now … PAJAMAS.  Enjoy the rest of your day!

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Cupcake Polish: Special Effects Toppers + Delishious Nails Collaboration Polish

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Wasn’t I just in here blogging?  I swear I was.

GUYS.  It’s still Polish Con week and I’m desperately trying to be a proper nail blogger and do things on time and whatnot.  And because this time crunch is legit no joke, I can’t even ramble on like I tend to do.  How sad are you right now?  (Very.)

Hope you’ll enjoy the blog despite all that.  I mean, there’s still polish and that’s the whole reason I’m in here talking to myself on a daily basis anyway.  After the chaos of this week,  I’ll be back to making not a lick of sense like normal.  But admit it:  you’re gonna miss me.

Let’s dive in!  First time on the blog y’all and I feel like a fancy lady!  Sara with Cupcake Polish sent me a bunch of goodies to review for you today.  A whoooooole lot of pretty is 2.5 seconds away.

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

This is their Special Effect Toppers collection, a set of six toppers designed to be layered over other polishes to completely transform your mani.  There’s so many fun things you can do with these, so naturally I went basic and applied over black.  I’m not good at nails, let’s just say.  Cuz last time I tried to make something cool, I ended up with a meth owl and scared all the babies.  Oopsie.

First up is Lemon Icing:

This one is a yellow tinted holographic topper.  Only one coat over black.  Things are starting out well.

Under the lamps, it gets insane:

Someone bring me the smelling salts.  It’s getting super pass-out-y in here.

Some nail art I did:

Meh.  It’s okay.  I was trying to be clever by doing yellow stamping on the yellow one.  And while I’ve certainly done worse (you’ve read this blog before, right?), no one is handing me an award or anything.

Used the new Lina Feeling Shapely 09 plate, which is full of mix n match geometric designs.  All good for a person who has an eye for such things.  But throw a bit of OCD in there, and too much mix n matchy means a whole tube of hives cream, at the minimum.  In other words, an incident is coming on, I just know it.

Next up is Sprinkles:

This is a scattered silver holographic glitter topper.  Look how much bling you get with one layer!  Party nails just like that.  Or napping nails, if you’re me.

Don’t look at this one:

I don’t even know what happened.  I used the Uber Chic Beauty Texture-licious 2 plate and accidentally made carpet from a roller rink in 1985.  Blah.

Now here’s Strawberry Icing:

This one is a pink tinted holographic topper, once again layered over black.  I also did two coats on my naked thumb and it covered really well and made a lovely pastel pink holographic.

Then I didn’t take a picture for you cuz BEST BLOGGER EVER.

Under the lamps:

Do you hear angels? I hear angels. 

Mojo = DEAD:

Here it is: the INCIDENT.  This is what happens when you don’t think things through first.  Someone needs to come take my stamping plates away.

Just kidding!  I will cut you.

Used the Lina Feeling Shapely 09 plate again in case you’re curious.  (You’re not.)  Moving on!

Next up is Icing:

This one is a silver holographic topper, a nice dense version for good coverage. One layer. Over black. You know the drill by now. 

Under the lamps:

Dreamy! You’re buying one bottle of this one plus 27 back-up bottles cuz you do CRAZY NAIL LADY like a dadgum champion. 

Not-hideous nail art, for once:

I mean, it’ll do. I’ll take this brief moment of mojo and revel in it. 

Used the new Lina Mad for Mandalas in case recreations are in order.  And kudos and accolades, you know, if y’all not busy. 

Here’s Bubblegum Icing:

This one is a cyan blue tinted holographic topper. It’s soooo pretty! I’d lick it if it wasn’t so poison-y. 

Under the lamps:

An ocean of lovely. I see a billion mermaid manis just waiting to happen. 

So, of course I did chevrons:

Okay, not gonna lie. This one’s pretty awesome.  Quick! Someone get me my horn so I can toot it. 

Used the Lina Feeling Shapely 09 plate for the shapes and the Make Your Mark 04 plate for the splatter background. Added matte top coat, dropped the mic and straight up left the room. 

Lastly, this is Frosting:

This one is an iridescent opal glitter topper, and seriously guys. If you haven’t drooled in a thousand buckets by this point, you’re about to get suuuuuuper unattractive right about now. Ugly Ecstasy Face is a dire thing. 

Nail art, no jazz hands:

Well, that didn’t last long now did it?  Bye bye mojo. 

Used the Uber Chic Beauty Op Art Magic plate and made a most unfortunate decision. Plate is great until I get my grabby hands on it. I’m like that person who continually does things they shouldn’t. Like putting food in my mouth without looking at it first, then spending the next 197 hours waiting for death.

Someone needs to come save me from me. 

The round up:

These all release early at Polish Con in New York City this Saturday, April 29, but for all us sad souls who live in the middle of nowhere exciting, we can snag these beauties online on May 6 at 2pm CST.

Toppers are $9 each and can be purchased at http://www.cupcakepolish.com – or by clicking here, cuz who’s game for some unnecessary typing?  NOT ME.

The other new release is a collaboration shade with blogger Alicia with Delishious Nails called Delishiously Jaded. May is Alicia’s birthday month and emerald green is her birthstone, and I swear I’ve never been so happy.  Take a look at this ridiculousness:

Gah!

This one is a green linear holographic with scattered holo microglitters and a green to blue shifting shimmer.  Opaque in two of the most delicious coats of your life. That is not a typo. 

Under the lamps:

Sara, what are you doing to me?  Cuz I do not look good with my tongue lolling about outside my body. It causes divorce if I’m not mistaken. 

I swear, what is wrong with me:

Used the Lina Feeling Shapely 09 plate one last time, and naturally I’m just sticking things on all willy nilly. Cuz my brain done went somewhere, that’s why.

I mean, I guess I don’t hate it, but WHAT IS IT?! is the actual question. 

This polish also releases early at Polish Con on 4/29 but will return online for a limited time on May 6 at 2pm thru May 31 at 11:59pm CST.  Which means POLISH EMERGENCY! so make sure you arrange your life accordingly.

Price is $13 and available in the same place by clicking here.

That’s it, gang!  We survived another blogging day.  Only a slight carpal tunnel-type situation over here, no big deal.  Getting in pajamas now cuz staying sexy is var var hard work.

OMG, what?!  Shut up, brain.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Pretty & Polished: Babes of Broadway + Summer 2017 Collection 

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OMG, guys. It’s Polish Con week and I have 7297 blogs to write.  It’s straight up serious business now with ZERO time to be clever.  In fact, you’re about to witness the most boring me you’ve ever seen.  Saw.  You ever saw.  Ugh.  One can’t grammar at a time like this.

But yeah, super boring.  Kinda the real me, actually.  I mean, if there’s ever a story in here that involves effort, wearing pants of a non-pajama-type situation or drinking more than one wine cooler in a three hour period, there’s a chance you’re reading someone else’s blog. Or I’ve been kidnapped, cuz that scenario is far more likely.

You know it’s bad when you’re picking up things with your feet cuz bending over is a decision you’re not quite ready to commit to yet.  You don’t get to Lazy, Level EXPERT by going the extra mile, let’s just say.  And honestly, I’ve pretty much earned a bonus round at this point anyway, which is a nice little prize considering I won a case of toilet paper in a work raffle once and that’s legit no joke not as exciting as you’d expect.  

Gah! I’m about to get chatty and start wasting time, so let’s just get to the polish.  I have a ton of beauties from Pretty & Polished to show you today. All of it will be releasing at Polish Con in New York this Saturday, so if you’re headed that way, be sure to add these beauties to your shopping list. DO IT. I’m serious. 

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

First up is the Polish Con limited edition collection, a 4-piece set called Babes of Broadway. Take a look:

This collection is inspired by four of Chelsea’s favorite female Broadway stars and characters.  They’re sparkly and fun and headed for your shopping cart!  Y’all got your drool buckets handy?  Well, then lesssss go!

Here is Dolly:

This one has a spectacular chrome red base and loaded with scattered holographic glitter.  Pulls a bit pink, but oh my goodness, IT. IS. DELICIOUS.  It is a perfect representation of Bette Midler (Chelsea’s personal all time favorite); it is loud and eclectic just like her.  Two of the most fabulous coats of your life, if you’re curious.

Feeling super pass-out-y cuz THIS:

How we’ll make it to the end of this blog, I’ll never know.  It’s hard to keep writing when you’re dying every 18 seconds.

Next up is Fanny:

This one is a gorgeous medium purple with scattered holographic glitters and loaded with neon purple and gold flakes.  It is inspired by the character Fanny Brice played by the amazing and talented Barbra Streisand.  Such a fabulous mix!  All you purple lovers, your name is written alllllll over this one!

An insane display of pretty:

Still upright?  Nope, me neither.  

Here’s Jo:

My favorite of the bunch!  It’s a coppery gold base (dead) with red glitters and flakes (more dead), and the grabby fingers is a dire situation right about now.  Gimme.

This one is inspired by the character Jo from the play Little Women.  Jo is a simple girl with an adventurous spirit, so Chelsea made this polish simple and glamorous just like her.  NAILED IT, is what you’re thinking.

Lastly, this is Elphaba:

This one is a black to green thermal polish, shown here first in its green (warm) state.  See all that color shifting flakie business?  Yep, all over my body in 2.5 seconds.  Except SOCIETY says no.

Based off of the Wicked character Elphaba, I can’t think of any better representation than this thermal right here.

Here’s a transition shot between warm and cool:

And after 18 hours in a cup of ice water, you get this color:

That’s an exaggeration, but only slight.  Photographing thermals is not my best talent.  Ice water, towel, light box, repeat.  And 9756 pictures and an entire tube of hives cream later, here’s just four that’ll suffice but barely.  Blah.

An assortment of macros:

Seriously, is there a Starbucks coming, cuz after all this effort, a reward (plus kudos and accolades) is the next most logical step.

Next up is the Summer 2017 Collection, a set of six polishes that features an array of finishes and colors.  Who’s ready to get suuuuuuper unattactive and drool-y?  (You, to be clear.)  Here we go:

First up is Bloomerang:

This one is a medium purple crelly packed with varying sizes and shapes of blue, purple and pink glitter.  It is the most adorable thing!  Fun glitter mixes like this get me every time.  I’m trying to keep it under control over here, but my brain’s about to go somewhere, I just know it.

Lolling tongues, up ahead:

Two coats regular, one coat dabbed.  Two layers of top coat cuz all that glitter is legit.  

Next up is It’s Not All Black & White:

This one is a creamy white crelly packed with golden flakies and black hex glitters.  I absolutely love this shade!  Normally I’m not one for neutrals, but there’s just something about this one that has me reattaching my jaw to my face about 18000 times at the minimum.  A perfect two coat formula too.  I die!

Some serious feels:

Now here’s Caught in Your Sea:

Bling bling!  Who’s in love?!

This one has a medium blue holographic base packed with scattered holographic glitters.  Another two coat dreamboat; perfect for those who don’t have 27 hours to spend on nails.  Although WHY DON’T YOU?! is the actual question.

This is Rainbow Road:

Another surprise favorite!  Cuz it’s not just silver at first glance.  Noooooo, there’s color shifting rainbow flakies and voodoo and magic in there, and if you’re somehow walking away from this polish right now, I am var var concerned about your brain.  In the cart she goes!  Cuz her’s a pretty lady, that’s why.

Next up is Star Gazer:

This one has a deep blackened purple multichrome holographic base crammed full of color shifting micro flakies.  So naturally my camera did NOT do this one justice whatsoever.  Like, it straight up shrugged its shoulders and walked away.  LAME.

However, this macro is much better.  This is what the polish looks like in real life, especially when the light catches it.  It’s gorgeous, it’s stunning, it’s a driving hazard to the trillionth degree.  I left this one on my swatch hand for two days while on my anniversary trip cuz it physically pained me to remove it.  I mean, I tried and everything but hurting yourself is hard.  Cuz if there’s one person who’s gonna get a nervous, sweaty belly button during an attempt to pierce it, of course it’d be me.  I don’t sweat like a lady, let’s just say.

Lastly, here’s Floralescent:

This one is a light pink (warm) to bright pink (cool) thermal that is probably the prettiest I’ve ever seen.  It’s so girly and sweet; the colors in transition remind me of rose petals.  YOU GUYS.  If you love thermals, here’s your new favorite. And there’s gold and pink flakes for extra drool factor.  Perfection is what it is.

Top photo shows the polish in its warm state.  Below is the transition between warm and cool:

Now here it is completely cool:

You can really see those flakies when the base is darker.  So so lovely.  There may be some random hand modeling scenarios later with this one.  Cuz running your fingers languidly over toasters and clock radios just happens sometimes whether you like it or not.

More macros to seal the deal:

Yep, you’re about to spend some money, I already know.

The round up:

As previously mentioned, the Babes of Brooklyn collection launches at Polish Con in New York on April 29. Each polish will sell for $9 or the entire collection for $35. If there are any leftovers, they will be sold through the Facebook fan group, so be sure to join up! Click here cuz you make good decisions.

The Summer 2017 collection will debut early for Polish Con but it’s official online release will be on May 5.  Price for each bottle is $8.50 except for Floralescent and Star Gazer which will be $9. Only one batch of this collection will be made, so be sure to come early.  Set 17 alarms cuz why be normal at a time like this?  Click here for shopping!

Okay, gang. One post down, an eternity’s worth left to go!  What’re you doing for the rest of your life?  Reading this blog; buying groceries from time to time, perhaps?  Cuz we’s best friends, that’s why.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Blush Lacquers: Polish Con Limited Edition Duo

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Back to the scene of the crime: Eureka Springs, Arkansas. One of my most favorite places in the entire world and where hubby and I got married four years ago. A town ran by hippies and full of all the tye dye you could ever want. A town where sometimes there’s pancakes but sometimes there’s not. A town where you can go in a store that just sells socks and come out with $400 worth cuz YOU’RE ON VACATION and suddenly socks with horses on them just make sense.

We came up here this weekend to celebrate our anniversary, which we’ve done almost every year since our wedding. It never gets old. We always try to do different things each time we come, although we usually end up in the fudge shop at least 97.947594% of the time.

Last night, we went on a ghost tour inside the Crescent Hotel, one of the most haunted hotels in America.  I seriously don’t know why I put myself through such torture. I mean, putting on a maxi pad in case of accidental peeing is probably not a normal thing to do.  But there I am anyway, getting my photo taken in the meat locker where they kept the dead bodies, acting like EVERYTHING IS FINE, except for all the sweating and general unattractiveness.

Tonight is our last night here, and the only thing propelling me home is the video alert from our surveillance camera showing my mother carrying 7 packages of swatch mail into my house.  Cuz even though Sundays are zero fun whatsoever due to its unfortunate proximity to Monday, the lure of nail polish gets me each and every time.

Speaking of nail polish, I have two beauties from Blush Lacquers to share with you today. Polish Con in NYC is coming up in one week, and Victoria has made this awesome limited edition duo just for the event. If y’all headed that way, then VAR VAR GOOD DAY doesn’t even begin to describe this scenario. Take a look!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

No words, just moan-y throat noises coming out.  Seriously, Victoria’s polishes give me a dire case of Ugly Ecstasy Face. Wedding anniversary number 5 is on the line here, I’m afraid. 

The inspiration for the duo is this awesome graffiti:

Basically NAILED IT.  I see this and immediately orange and blue are the two most logical choices. Victoria is one smart lady, that’s why.

First up is I ❤️:

This one has a coral base with pink micro flakie shimmer and delicate linear holo. It’s so stunning, guys!  The color is so bright, almost neon really. And application is sooooo smooth, it’s almost a Polish Mountain-type situation except I give up after just two coats cuz I’m not very good at goals. 

An undeniably amazing macro:

Told ya. This polish is legit no joke beautiful. 

The other half of the duo is Brooklyn:

This one has a blurple base with blue micro flakie shimmer and delicate linear holo. On me I felt it was more blue than blurple but blue, blurple, potatoes, french fries. Either way, it’s all good.

Another best macro ever. Cuz I’m sooooo good at blogging!

This one takes my breath away, seriously. Glowy blues have me drooling in a thousand buckets, at the minimum. 

The round up:

For all you lucky people heading to Polish Con this coming Saturday, first of all, I only hate you a tiny bit. But also, make sure you add these two beauties to your shopping list.  DO IT.  I mean it. 

Price is $9.25 each or $17.50 for the duo. Plus some tax, possibly.  Available at Polish Con in NYC on April 29, and if there’s any leftovers (Baby Jesus, are you listening?), Victoria will add them to her shop so everyone who lives in the middle of nowhere exciting can get their grabby fingers on them.  Click here and keep watch.

Headed to bed now. Gotta get up early for breakfast cuz apparently if it gets too busy, the kitchen decides to stop making pancakes just because they feel like it. I don’t know what kind of business practice that is, but who am I to argue? I give up right in the middle of stuff all the time. You don’t end up with 97 crocheted scarves the size of potholders by seeing things to end. Lazy, level EXPERT, is what I mean.  

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Glisten & Glow: The 5 Buroughs Collection (plus two Polish Con extras!)

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Four years ago today, hubby was late to his own wedding.  And the fact I almost married my brother seems sooooo much less alarming in comparison.  On April 20, 2013, things weren’t organized well, let’s just say. 

Listen, I suppose this is what happens when you buy the cheap package.  You get a wedding march that starts playing with zero warning whatsoever; you get a coordinator who shoves your just-finished bouquet in your hands WHILE you are walking down the aisle, and you get a preacher who thinks the brother who is giving you away is actually the man you’re about to pledge your life to.  I mean, a little research ahead of time would’ve worked wonders in this scenario.  Maybe a note on a napkin about how if the groom is missing up front, it’s probably not time to start a dadgum wedding yet?  Like, at the minimum, at least.

Regardless, I’m walking and smiling with all eyes on me.  I’m oblivious to the fact my husband isn’t in the room.  Although I’m quite aware of the door right over there that leads to a secret underground moonshine tunnel, cuz when you’re having a hillbilly wedding, what else would you expect?

The preacher has a little twinkle in his eye as he begins the ceremony.  My brother is looking a skosh awkward, and honestly at this point, I just want cake.  There are horrified eyes everywhere.  The vibe in the room is less joyous occasion, more train wreck but with candles.  And still, I stand there smiling, one of just two people who has no idea what is going on.

Eventually, the preacher figures it out and I’m sent back out of the room so I can re-walk down the aisle and pretend I’m having a never-before-seen magical moment.  Completely normal situation – or at least in my life, it is.  Cuz if something’s gotta be awkward, the Universe just gives a big swift shove to my back.  AND THERE I AM.  Most likely with stupid words coming out and high-fiving my way out of the nightmare.

What I’m trying to say is, today is my wedding anniversary.  I’ve managed to stay married an entire four years, despite the ridiculous amount of robe on display.  I’d say I got pretty lucky, cuz if I’m forced to walk back and forth twice through a room, the only acceptable reason would be if hubby was standing at the end of it.  Happy anniversary, my love!

While we all wipe the tears away, let’s talk polish!  I have lots of pretty things from Glisten & Glow to show you today, including the gorgeous 5 Boroughs Collection as well as a couple of Polish Con limited releases.  Y’all need to get on your focus faces cuz it’s about to get suuuuuuper duper pass-out-y in here.  Let’s go!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

First up is the most time crucial, the two Polish Con releases.  Take a look:

Oh so pretty!  Every single one of you are drooling all over these in the most unattractive way possible.  Hope you’ve locked yourself in a room so you can be drool-y in private. Cuz Ugly Ecstasy Face causes divorce if I’m not mistaken.

Here’s A Raisin to Believe:

This one is a dark vampy purple-toned burgundy holographic with added pops of red holo microglitter.  It’s a collaboration shade between Glisten & Glow and beauty blogger Nicole with Hello Miss Niki.  It’s also going in your shopping cart, just so you know.

Macro time!

Isn’t that one of the prettiest purples you’ve ever saw?  Seen?  You’ve ever seen?  Ugh.  One can’t grammar at a time like this.

This polish will be releasing at Polish Con in New York City on April 29 but for all us sad souls who live in the middle of where nothing exciting ever happens, we get to purchase this beauty online on May 5.  It will launch at 9pm EST, so make sure you’ve got Post-It notes on all your surfaces.

Some nail art I did:

And I actually kinda love it!  Let’s revel in whatever amazing thing is happening right now.  Cuz a nail fail is lurking, I feel it.

I used the new Lina Feeling Shapely 09 plate for this design.  Plus, I gradient stamped, which means effort was involved, which means naps for everyone!

Next up is NYC is My Jam:

This one is a berry pink holographic loaded with purple and blue holo microglitters and a dusting of silver holo and copper shimmer.  Only one batch of this polish is being made and will be sold at Polish Con; however, if there are any leftovers, Jill will put them on the website on May 5.

In other words, we’re all buying tickets to Polish Con cuz sitting around while others stuff their bags full of Glisten & Glow is just for the crazy people.

An actual pretty dang good macro:

The blue glitters got me.  They got me good, guys.

More not hideous nail art:

That’s two in a row in case math is hard.  

I used the new Lina Make Your Mark 04 plate, and made some girly skulls.  Very simple design, but stinkin’ adorable!  Toots on the ole horn for me, then.

Also debuting at Polish Con is The 5 Buroughs Collection, a set of 5 beautiful holographic shimmery shades inspired by the five boroughs of New York.  Take a look at these:

Did you just die?  Cuz I sure did.  You’re about to spend some money, I just know it.

First up is Manis in Manhattan:

This one is a dusty purple based mauve holographic with a strong copper shimmer and a dusting of red and silver holo microglitters.  Went on in two fabulous, quick coats.  Perfect for those who have actual shit to do, unlike me who just lays on couches.

Lolling tongues, up ahead:

Gah!  Seriously, we’re never gonna make it to the end of this blog if I keep dying every 15 seconds.

The nail art:

Another one I don’t hate.  And I used the Lina Make Your Mark 04 plate again, cuz when I love something, I love it hardcore.  In a smothering way, as one tends to do.

Next up is Beatboxing in the Bronx:

This one is an olive green holographic with added pink and blue shimmers and a dusting of gold flakies and gold holo microglitters.  Naturally, this is my favorite cuz wherever there is green, there is me trying to reattach my jaw to my face.

We are no longer upright:

Told ya.  Those shimmers are legit gorgeous.  I want this all over my body, except I won’t, cuz SOCIETY.  The judgy eyes are everywhere.

More effort was made here:

Hope there’s a Starbucks coming cuz the sheer amount of nail art happening right now is downright inspirational.  Send Leonardo, too, just in case.

Used the Lina Make Your Mark 04 plate for the billionth time.  More gradient stamping using pink and gold, a little play off those shimmers.  It’s as if I thought this one through or something.  Or maybe the old me isn’t even here right now.  Perhaps I’ve been kidnapped cuz that seems more logical.

Here’s Quick Step in Queens:

This one is a medium grey creme-based holographic loaded with blue shimmers and a very light dusting of gold flakies.  I love shades like this cuz they always look so good against my pale skin tone.  Anything to make the fingers appear less sausage-y.  And in case of random hand modeling scenarios, 27 backup bottles is a super good idea.

You can see the goodies much better here:

Proof I occasionally make cute things:

This might be my favorite one!  Plus, every bit of this is Glisten & Glow products – cuz Jill’s cremes double as stamping polishes.  I’ve used Little Black Dress and ATV in Aruba (the pink) for this design, plus that dadgum Lina Make Your Mark 04 plate again.  Honestly, why obsess if you can’t do it properly?

Next is Brunch in Brooklyn:

This one is a light pink holographic with light pink holo microglitters and a dusting of blue and gold shimmers.  How precious is this shade?  So elegant and dainty.  It simply begs for a tiny cappucino or like, tea with the Queen, as happens to all of us from time to time.

An insane display of pretty:

Figured this one needed 18 pounds of jewelry:

I gave up after only four pieces.  I’m not good at goals, let’s just say.

I’m not even going to tell you which plate I used cuz I’m certain you already know.  After typing out Lina Make Your Mark 04 plate about 18,000 times, not much else can be expected out of me, anyway.

Lastly, here’s Selfies in Staten Island:

This one is a nude holographic loaded with copper, bronze and gold shimmers with a light dusting of silver holo microglitters.  If you like lots of extra holo effect, you’ll definitely want this one.  I can’t think of one decent reason why not.  Perhaps you have no eyes, or you have a black soul.  But after that, NOTHING.

Let’s seal the deal:

DONE.  In the cart, they go!

Here’s some super simple nail art:

Used a different plate, the Lina Feeling Shapely 09 on this one, which means I just ended this blog with a big ole exclamation point.  How’s that for Best Bogger Ever?  And in that case, I’ll take kudos and accolades and a Visa gift card, you know, if y’all not busy.
The round up:

This collection will be available at Polish Con in New York City on April 29, then will be re-released online on May 5 at 9pm EST.  Be sure to get your hands on them, so setting 17 alarms at the minimum sounds right.  Click here for shopping, then sit back, relax, and stalk the mailman.  Cuz no one does crazy nail lady quite like you.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Flirtin’: Polish Con Limited Edition + Say I Do Collection 

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I’m behind again.  The blogs are piling up, and I’m over here watching Full House reruns like responsibilities are things for other people.  I mean, I literally just sat here putting Doritos in my mouth without even looking at them first cuz BRAIN FUNCTION: OUT THE WINDOW.  Gah!  What about the poison ones, then?!  Now that my wits have returned, I’m pretty sure hypochondria starts in roughly 2.5 seconds.  And then I shall wait for death for 197 hours at the minimum cuz I am the most ridiculous person on the planet.

Being me is hard, you guys. SO. HARD.

Since we’re in a bit of a time crunch and I’ve already wasted 18 hours writing one paragraph, let’s jump into some polish.  I received a couple of swatch packs from Flirtin‘ to review for you today.  I’ve got 3 out of 6 polishes from the Say I Do spring collection as well as their Polish Con exclusive shade.  Engage: Shopping Hand cuz you’re about to spend some money, I just know it.  Let’s take a look:

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

First up is the most time sensitive, the Polish Con exclusive.  Here’s Brooklyn’s Bombshell:

First of all, if you’re one of the lucky ones going to Polish Con in New York City this year, I only hate you just a tiny bit.  I can’t plan things for shit, so naturally I chose a wedding date four years ago that is really super inconvenient right about now.  Guess I’ll take an anniversary trip instead.  UGH.

Anyway, this is Sham’s take on a glimmering New York skyline and the infamous Brooklyn Bridge.  The base is a delicious turquoise creme filled with a dusting of holo and some blue fleck things.  Which is a technical term obviously, cuz I’m SO GOOD AT BLOGGING.

Under the lamps:

You die!

This was opaque in two coats, which is typical of most of Sham’s polishes.  It’s such a pretty shade for the season, and those of you heading to Polish Con need to stop by Flirtin’s table and toss a bottle in your basket.  And some back up bottles in case you lick all over the first one.  As happens from time to time.

If you live close to NYC and didn’t know about Polish Con, click here for info and tickets.  Happening next weekend, April 29.  Just follow the huge crowd of crazy people holding giant shopping bags and a thousand drool buckets.

Next is Flirtin’s spring 2017 collection called Say I Do:

Sham decided on a bridal theme for this season, and for real, who wants every last one of these?  (You, to be clear.)  I love these soft and soothing shades – they’re perfect in every way.  In the cart they go!

First up is Something Blue:

This one has a denim blue base filled with a dusting of holographic glitter.  See how less sausage-y it makes my fingers look? That means we lub it lots, and now we can’t turn our back on it even if there’s a naked Leonardo holding a Starbucks in the other room.

Just kidding.  I mean, I may do stupid things (cuz POISON DORITOS, if you’ll recall), but when it comes to Leonardo, I am 27 kinds of serious.  Serious, but with a drool problem.  A SEX MACHINE, clearly.

Nail art I did:

I don’t hate these!  Let’s celebrate this brief moment of mojo.

Used the Lina 4 Seasons – Summer 01 plate and lots and lots of magic.

Next up is To Have & To Hold:

This one has a soft sage green base with holo glitters galore.  It’s very very springy, and probably delicious if we were locked in a room by ourselves away from judgy eyes.

Check out this macro:

Gah!  It’s super pass-out-y.

Don’t look at these:

I made wallpaper nails.  Blah.  Sometimes when I do nails, my brain goes away somewhere.  And then bad things happen in a stamping retaliation scenario sort of way.

Used the layered floral image from the Uber Chic Beauty 13-03 plate in case you’re curious.  (You’re not.)  Moving on!

Lastly, here’s Just Married:

This is a soft peachy coral shade, inspired by the sunset.  See those red bits in there?  And that gold shimmer?  And all the tongues, lolling?  Yep, this polish has suddenly made us all suuuuuuuper unattractive.  Cuz there’s only so much sexy to go around while your mouth is unattached from your body.

Kinda okay nail art:

I mean, I’ve done worse right?  And I actually attempted some reverse stamping, which means EFFORT was involved, which means I’m getting back in pajamas cuz I’ve had a var var hard day.

Used the Lina 4 Seasons – Spring 01 plate in case recreations are in order.

The round up:

As I mentioned before, the Say I Do collection is available now, since getting this blog written took approximately eons with light years and eternities on top.  Here’s the deets:

Collection consists of 6 shades, and each bottle retails for $8

In addition, Sham is offering a special deal for brides.  If you order one of the six polishes, you may mail in a swatch of one of your wedding colors and place an order for a custom formulated polish.  Cuz matchy matchy is less hobo-y and seems to be the most appropriate direction to go for a wedding.  But what do I know, really?  I’m still wearing pants with a stapled-back-together hem, so I’m not the best source for fashion advice.  Anyway, if you’re interested in a custom, click here to order.

If you’re just a regular person (i.e., crazy nail lady) just looking for more polish to hoard, click here instead.  Then sit back, relax and stalk the mailman.  Cuz it’s the most logical response at this point.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •