Black Friday is only four days away and guess who still has roughly 2,957 blogs left to write?  GAH!  After that decades-long post I did on the Indie Brand Collective sale, I accidentally took a one-day blog break and simultaneously gave myself about 17 Polish Emergencies. Well GREAT.  So looks like no sleep for me until the year 2037.  Cuz although the fitness app only has 252 steps on it, I guarantee the sweat bead mustache via a speed blogging frenzy will be at an all-time high.  I swear, if I’m not skinny after this, someone gets a karate chop.  SCIENCE, that means YOU.

Let’s focus, shall we?  Nail polish is happening and you’re first in line.  I’ve got new goodies from Karen with Lollipop Posse Lacquer to share with you today!  Get ready for a dire case of the Grabby Fingers, but try to stay a lady about it at least.

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Just kidding.  Ladylike composure = officially out the dadgum window.

This is the Midwinter Midnights collection, a set of 5 sultry, sexy shades that you’re gonna need like a billion times over. Karen says each polish is inspired by a song that brings to mind frosty winter nights, which quite honestly is the only way I take my winter:  in nail polish form, possibly with some flakies on it.  All other forms – brown grass, snow covered in dirty tire tracks, leaving the house in a thousand pounds of sad, unattractive clothing – can not-so-kindly have a seat in the back.  Oh Winter, my evil friend.

But yeah.  These polishes.  They make winter look like not such a bad idea after all.  I mean, maybe by just half a point, but I’ll take 18,000 bottles anyway.  You know, FOR SAFETY.  Here’s your rundown interspersed with Karen’s music inspiration.  We’re about to set a mood, just so you know.

THIS COOL NIGHT AIR

DESCRIPTION:  A metallic silver base packed with red to purple shifting shimmer, silver holographic pigment, flakies and microglitter and red to purple shifting chameleon chrome flakies

OPACITY:  Three coats for me

Roll the windows down / This cool night air is curious / Let the whole world look in / Who cares who sees anything

— Defttones ft. Maynard James Keenan, Passenger

SUCH AN EARTHLY GODDESS

DESCRIPTION:  A green/brown/gold holographic multichrome with sparkling taupe micro flakies

OPACITY:  Two coats for me

So pure / So rare / To witness such an earthly goddess / That I’ve lost my self control / Beyond compelled / To throw this dollar down / Before your holiest of altars

— A Perfect Circle, Magdalena

SOME SWEET GRAVITY 

DESCRIPTION:  A darkened, juicy raspberry magenta holographic creme packed with teal shimmer

OPACITY:  Two coats for me

Venomous voice tempts me / Drains me / Bleeds me / Leaves me cracked and empty / Drags me down like some sweet gravity

— Tool, H

PULL THE STARS FROM THE SKY

DESCRIPTION:  A dark blue/purple multichrome shifter packed with scattered holographic particles and a smattering of sapphire/purple/red shifting chameleon chrome flakies

OPACITY:  Two coats for me

I come along but I don’t know where you’re taking me / I shouldn’t go but you’re wrenching dragging shaking me / Turn off the sun pull the stars from the sky / The more I give to you the more I die

— Nine Inch Nails, The Perfect Drug

TONIGHT, I FEEL LIKE MORE

DESCRIPTION:  A rusty red/brown/gold multichrome shifter packed with holographic pigment

OPACITY:  Two coats for me

You move like I want to / To see like your eyes do / We are downstairs / Where no one can see / New life break away / Tonight I feel like more

— Deftones, Digital Bath

For real, y’all.  This collection has left me speechless.  First things first, formulas were perfection.  No issues of any kind, and for that fact alone, we lub them lots.  But those flakies!  DEAD.  That spectacular shiftiness!  MORE DEAD.  All five of these beauties is one very good example why we’ve all got a nail polish problem.  Karen has voodoo’ed everyone.  She done did.

Prices are $11 each except for Some Sweet Gravity – she retails for $10.

In addition to all that business up there, Karen has brought back a Black Friday tradition – the single pours!  These next three shades are ultra exclusive and even more ultra drool-y.  Each color has been mixed and poured one time only, and once they are gone they are gone for good.  AAACK!  Time to panic, in case you didn’t know.

Inspired by the show Metalocalypse from Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim, each of these polishes were named and themed by Mr. Lollipop himself.   Take a look at what else you’re buying:

Ooooooh!  More sexy!  More sultry!  More swoon-y scenarios!  This is the Really Effing Brutal Trio, three vampy shades for when you want to feel less sweatpants-y but also still be in sweatpants, which is all we ever want out of life anyway.  Although, maybe with some mashed potatoes on top.  I dunno.

MURMAIDER

DESCRIPTION:  A magenta-leaning crimson packed with blue shimmer and holo sparks

OPACITY:  Two coats, even though one coat covered really well

GHOST QUEEN

DESCRIPTION:  A blue/teal/purple multichrome holographic with purple microflakies

OPACITY:  Three coats for me

BETTER METAL SNAKE

DESCRIPTION:  A dark grey with touch of steel blue, gold shimmer and blue and purple sparks and microflakies

OPACITY:  Two coats for me

Formulas on these three were consistently good once again, cuz I swear Karen’s got this nail polish thing on LOCK.  Pricing for each is $10, which might as well be free considering how much we’re buying.

THE ROUND UP

Welp. Toss ’em all in the shopping cart. There is no other way.  Cuz getting out of this blog without a crap ton of nail polish?  WRONG times LAME divided by BRAIN MALFUCTION. In other words, God is watching.  Good decisioning is in order, or else.  The deets:

Both of these collections release on Thanksgiving night, November 23 at 11pm EST.  Remember, the single pours are extremely limited edition so don’t go waiting til 11pm and 1 second like a crazy person.  First in line, as previously decided.

More Black Friday deals:

* Full website restock

* Full bubble bar restock

* $4 clearance bath scoops

* $5 and $7 polish

* FREE full-sized Pixie Puke polish with any $40+ purchase before shipping!  Pixie Puke is a hot pink/magenta crelly packed with holographic sparkle and silver/pink/purple glitters.  You need!  Cuz we love free stuff, oh yes we do.

The Black Friday sale ends on Monday, November 27 at 11:59pm EST so plan accordingly.  The Midwinter Midnights collection will still be available to order after the sale; however, why delay happiness?  All of it, IMMEDIATELY.  Cuz I am the boss of you, that’s why.

Where to buy:  http://www.lollipopposselacquer.bigcartel.com/

The linky loos!  Connect with LPL:

Instagram

Facebook

Fan Group

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

I’ve been writing this blog for about five hours now and my brain has officially gone away somewhere.  GUYS.  This is what happens when they take the potato chips away.  Time no longer exists; normal function = GONE.  And surprisingly skinny STILL takes its damn sweet time.  I’ve been expecting SUPER MODEL! since about Diet: Day Two but something has clearly gone terribly awry.  I mean, I just ate a salad with just some lemon squeezed on it, i.e., the worst kind of ranch dressing that ever freaking existed, so if this weight thing can move the hell on out now, that’d be great.

While we wait (albeit crankily and impatiently), let’s look at pretty things.  Karen with Lollipop Posse Lacaquer sent me yummies!  Take a look at these drool-y little scenarios:

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

YEP.  At least 1000 buckets for this one!

This is the Magicians Trio, a set of three gloriously shifty, shimmering dreamboats that you’re gonna need like 18,000 times over. They’re sexy.  They’re vampy.  They’re magical perfection in a bottle.  And they’re all headed for the shopping cart, just so you know.

Inspired by the tv show, The Magicians, Karen does what she does best:  sets a mood, tells a story, brings fantasy TO FREAKING LIFE.  For real, y’all, if you don’t own any Lollipop polishes, welllll … you’ve got a crap ton of catching up to do.  Have your billion dollars handy!  But at least start with these three.

Here’s your color rundown, otherwise known as a prelude to the Noodle Leg Epidemic that is happening next.  Get ready for the swoons!

THE GARDEN PATH

DESCRIPTION:  A teal crelly with a red to green shifting shimmer and scattered holographic sparkle

OPACITY:  Two easy coats

The shimmer in here is similar to Unicorn Pee, and it looks absolutely breathtaking against the dark base.  My jaw might’ve dropped a little. And then some drool came out.  Seriously, I’m quite the catch in case you’re curious.

Look down.  You’re on the garden path.  Stay on, the Beast will kill you, kill everyone.  Step off the path, or …

— Jane Chatwin, The Magicians, Season 01, Episode 01: Unauthorized Magic

BETTER THAN YOU KNOW

DESCRIPTION:  An inky blue crelly with a red to green shifting shimmer and scattered holographic sparkle

OPACITY:  Another two coater

More of that Unicorn Pee-dupe goodness and just like that, ladylike composure = out the dadgum window.  I’m hardcore in love with this color!  Glowy blue polishes always get me good.  But then you toss in a bunch of shimmery, shifty yummy deliciousness, and for real you guys, I may never be the same again.

You’re not as good as I’d hoped.  But you’re better than you know.

— Alice Quinn, The Magicians, Season 01, Episode 13: Have You Brought Me Little Cakes

…AND FURTHER

DESCRIPTION:  A blackened purple crelly with purple to red shifting shimmer and scattered holographic sparkles

OPACITY:  Two coats once again; I sense an epidemic

Ummmmm, purple lovers, you seeing this?!  How freaking gorgeous is she?  (Very.)  Seriously, if you aren’t properly convinced by how much you’re buying this trio, well CLEARLY you are wrong.  But just in case you’re still on the fence, enjoy these last three pictures.  Cuz the fence is no place for a lady, that’s why.

Fillory and Further is a series of five novels written by fictional author, Christopher Plover, found in the novel and television series, The Magicians, by real-life author, Lev Grossman.  Series character Quinten Coldwater obsesses over the books and is shocked to discover just how real the world of Fillory is after he is admitted to the magical college of Brakebills.

— Karen Sloan, NAIL POLISH Magician, Lollipop Posse Lacquer

THE ROUND UP 

This trio previously released last month (or so), but it’s up for it’s final restock before it disappears FOREVER.  Erlack!  Panic!  Anxiety!  Sweat bead mustaches for no dadgum good reason!  The level of unattractive that is happening over here is at an all-time high.  Cue the hives cream!

Your shopping deets:

Pre-order starts Wednesday, November 1 at 7pm EST and will run until November 8.  Each polish retails for $12 each, but happiness is FREE and that’s all that matters.

Turn around time for shipping is about three weeks.  Or an eternity.  When it comes to nail polish, anything longer than instantly is basically a lifetime of waiting.

Where to buy:  http://www.lollipopposselacquer.bigcartel.com/

In addition to this trio, Karen is also restocking I Remember When I Lost My Mind, One Hundred and Eleven Fish, Telephone Ice Cream, We’re Gonna Serve and Lock the Doors Tight.  Don’t worry about the lack of swatch pictures on those; just toss ’em all in the cart with your eyes closed.  Cuz no one does Crazy Nail Lady quite like you.

And now, the linky loos. Connect with LPL, stat:

Instagram

Facebook

Fan Group

Remember yesterday:  I blog, you shop?  Same deal today.  Cuz who’s missing out on all this pretty?  CERTAINLY NOT YOU.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Hubby had to go into work today so I’ve laid in bed for the past four hours waiting for food to just magically appear and it never freaking did.  So now I am sitting in the Schlotzsky’s drive-thru, blogging into my phone like a crazy person and sadly wearing pants.  Ugh.  Too much effort for a Saturday.

The only good thing about having the house to myself is that I can write without distraction.  Cuz as soon as someone turns the TV on, I’m done for.  And it doesn’t even matter what show it is.  I know I talk a lot about Full House, but there could be a documentary on about a snake that eats people and suddenly my brain just goes away somewhere.  Which, if you have 7,397 blogs to write, this scenario is the least ideal.  Not much gets done while lying comatose on the couch, let’s just say.

Welcome to Speed Blog #2, y’all!  I’m home now and still trying to get caught up, which at this point is proving to take light years, plus eons and eternities on top.  I mean, I’ve just turned on my iTunes and taken about 15 dance breaks since writing this sentence.  Seriously, who’s in charge here?  Cuz they are about 97.8566% CRAP at their job.  Blah.

I have the new Lollipop Posse Lacquer Summer Mix Tape: Overdrive Edition to share with you today!  And trust me, guys:  YOU. WILL. LOVE.  Grab some smelling salts and go lock yourself in a room alone – you’re about to get suuuuuuuuper unattractive in about 2.5 seconds.  Take a look:

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

And what do we do when new Lollipop’s are coming?  Pass the hell on out now, that’s what.  

This collection was created in collaboration with Karen’s husband, Mr. Lollipop, and inspired by their mutual love for the alt rock scene of the late 90s/early 2000s.  Yes, yes and more yes!  Plus, I love that her hubs got in on the action and they made something cool.  In my house, we’d collab on something food related, most likely involving potato chips or gravy on things.  So yeah, like, LESS COOL, clearly.

And now, the rundown of colors in 3 … 2 … 1 …

But My Hands are Busy in the Air – $9.50

The world’s a roller coaster / And I am not strapped in / Maybe I should hold with care / But my hands are busy in the air

— Incubus, Wish You Were Here

DESCRIPTION:  A turquoise crelly that is filled with purple shimmer and a bit of holographic sparkle

OPACITY:  Two coats

She Lives on the Borderline – $12

She lives on the borderline / That they call hazel / And the tent that she lives in / Has the name of her lover / As she lays down to rest

— Wolfmother, White Unicorn

DESCRIPITION:  A multichrome crelly that shifts between green/red/copper and even blue at extreme angles, with iridescent red/green/gold color shifting glitters and micro holographic sparkles

OPACITY:  Two coats

I Remember When I Lost My Mind – $9.50

I remember when / I remember / I remember when I lost my mind / There was something so special about that place / Even your emotions had an echo in so much space

— Gnarles Barkley, Crazy

DESCRIPTION:  A royal purple crelly with ocean blue shimmer and iridescent sparkle

OPACITY:  Three coats

My Heart’s in Overdrive – $9.50

Can’t explain all the feelings that you’re making me feel / My heart’s in overdrive and you’re behind the steering wheel

— The Darkness, I Believe in a Thing Called Love

DESCRIPTION:  A hot pink crelly packed with blue shimmer, holographic microflakies, micro holo sparkle and silver flakies

OPACITY:  Three coats, although two was very close

The Future is Coming On – $11

I ain’t happy / I’m feeling glad / I got sunshine in a bag / I’m useless / But not for long / The future is coming on

— Gorillaz, Clint Eastwood

DESCRIPTION:  A steel-colored chrome base that suspends red/green/gold color shifting iridescent glitter and a healthy dose of iridescent sparkle

OPACITY:  Three coats, but two was close

Pleasantly Caving In – $9.50

I drift along the ocean / Dead lifeboat in the sun / And come undone / Pleasantly caving in / I come undone

— Queens of the Stone Age, No One Knows

DESCRIPTION:  An ocean blue crelly that leans cobalt with red/violet shimmer and a scattering of holographic sparkle

OPACITY:  Two coats, although under the lamps it appeared like it could’ve used a third

Help Me Burn Out Bright – $9.50

I’m looking to the sky to save me / Looking for a sign of life / Looking for something to help me burn out bright

— Foo Fighters, Learn to Fly

DESCRIPTION:  A fiery glitter topper that consists of two sizes of color changing, iridescent hex glitters and a sprinkling of holographic sparkle

OPACITY:  Only one coat over a dark shade required for excellent glitter payoff

The round up:

And we are all just big puddles of goo.  Anyone still upgright at this point, well clearly you are WRONG.  Cuz you can’t have this much glitter and flakies and delicious iridescence without at least a minor case of the Noodle Legs.  Unless you don’t like pretty things.  Or you have no eyes.  I dunno.

My favorite is She Lives on the Borderline, which y’all already knew, cuz where there is green there is me loving it in a smother-y, stalker-y kind of way.  Plus, I’m a sucker for multichromes.  Ladylike composure = out the window, each and every dadgum time.

This collection just released last week, so you’re all set for shopping.  Individual bottle pricing is listed above next to each polish name, but if you’re feeling the grabby fingers, full set is $65.  Let’s spend some money today!  Click here and be happy.

And now, the linky loos.  Connect with LPL, stat:

Instagram

Facebook

Fan Group

Thanks for hanging in here with me while I try to write a blog without writing a blog (with jazz hands).  It’s hard to just give you a description and show you pictures and then move on to the next one like I ain’t a big drool-y mess and this is all NO BIG DEAL.  Cuz it IS a big deal to the trillionth degree, let me assure you.  Lollipop Posse Lacquer is legit no joke, and Karen is the QUEEN.  In other words, you’re buying 18,000 bottles.  Weeee!

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •