Author Archives: Dianna

Monthly Awareness Polish Box: June 2017

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Current status:  in a hotel room in Chicago.  Wrapped in a pink fluffy robe, iPad in the window, typing away à la Carrie Bradshaw and feeling super fancy.  Hair piled on top of my head, drinking Voss water out of a wine glass, and a gorgeous view of skyscrapers is all around me.  OMG, am I in a movie?  Let’s see, three empty Starbucks cups, a no-pants situation in progress, and Leonardo is nowhere to be found.  Still wearing orthopedic shoes and skinny is taking its damn sweet time.  I mean, I caught a view of my butt in a the Bathroom of a Thousand Mirrors, and now I’m just gonna sit here and cry for the next 37 years.

In other words, NOPE.  Just real life in all it’s forgot to shave my legs glory.  Weeeeee!

A quick blog for you today, so afterwards I can get my life back on track or something.  I have the Monthly Polish Awareness Box for June to review for you all, and like usual, every last one of these is headed for your shopping cart.  Cuz how often do you get the chance to hoard all the polish and donate to charity all at the same time?  Like never, I swear it.  Anyone in the mood for some serious legit justification then?  Well, here you all go…

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Each month, the Monthly Awareness Polish Box partners with six awesome indie brands who create exclusive, customized nail polishes to fit the theme of that month’s charity.  For June, Courtney has chosen to donate to the PTSD Foundation of America, a non-profit organization mentoring combat veterans and their families with post traumatic stress.  I can’t think of a better way to spend some money today.  Take a look at these:

Well, isn’t that one of the prettiest things you ever saw?  Seen?  You’ve ever seen?  Ugh.  One can’t grammar at a time like this.  The point is, you lub it lots.  Now let’s focus; there’s serious business up ahead.

First up is from Alter Ego:

This is Look Past the Sun, a dark yellow jelly with holographic red and black fine glitter.  It’s a pretty sheer one; my swatch is three coats and you can still see my nail line.  But it’s quite a unique shade – I don’t have a single one like it – and after roughly 1500 polishes up on my shelves at this point, that’s some good odds.  So, there may be a lottery ticket EXTRAVAGANZA! later, which makes sense considering the sheer amount of normal behavior on display over here.  Superhuman, to say the least.

Close up of the goodies:

Gah! You want!

Next up is from Pretty Beautiful Unlimited:

This is Overcoming Nightmares, a medium red holographic with lavender shimmer, silver and pink glitters and micro shreds, blue to purple shifting micro glitters, and a smattering of crystal chameleon flakes.  Whyyyyy, that’s a whole lot of pretty all in one place!  Plus magic, plus happiness.  If it came with a side of Starbucks, no one’s surprised.  PERFECTION, is what I’m saying.

Two coats; lookin so fly:

A delicious macro:

Who wants to lick that one?!  Except SOCIETY says NO.  Boooo.

Now here’s one from Darling Diva Polish:

This is I’m a Survivor, a topper loaded with Pegasus pee, a light sprinkling of holo, color shifting glitters and holo flakes.  My swatch shows it not as a topper, cuz I don’t plan things very well.  Instead, I applied three coats over naked nails, and while it’s still kind of sheer, the ethereal quality of it is jaw droppingly stunning.  Like, a puddle of goo scenario is happening next, I’m quite certain.

Check out that glow:

Macro, for extra drool factor:

If you’re not super hardcore in love with this right now, we need to talk about some things.  

From Night Owl Lacquer:

This is Not All Wounds are Visible, a luscious teal with bright purple shimmer, purple to blue shifting iridescent shreds and a nice dose of scattered holo.  GUYS.  It’s time to roll the couches over cuz it’s super pass-out-y in about 2.5 seconds.  Bring the smelling salts and one of those cute boys holding a leaf fan.  Cuz you can’t just toss in a purple and blue dreamboat and then expect anything ladylike to happen next.  Nope, it’s sweaty to, like, the trillionth degree.

Everything Lindsay makes is perfection.  I dare you to determine otherwise.

An ocean of lovely:

COMPOSURE:  out the window.

Next up is from Sassy Pants Polish:

This is Don’t Trigger Me, a bright hot pink jelly with assorted iridescent glitters and white holographic microglitters with a blue shimmer.  And aside from all that, I’ll just be over here reattaching my jaw to my face about 18,000 times.  BRB.

My eyes, my eyes!  That blue shimmer is so glowy and those glitters give me a severe case of the GRABBY FINGERS.  At minimum.

Doh!  How will I ever remain upright again?

Lastly, from O-My Jewels:

This is There But Not, a creamy pale blue with holographic sparkly microglitter.  All you blue lovers, pay attention!  This one has your name written alllllll over it.  (Seriously.  I checked.)  Walking out of this blog with approximately 27 bottles of this beauty in your cart?   Sounds about right.  Cuz you don’t get to CRAZY NAIL LADY by being rational, let’s just say. 

To seal the deal:

Oooooh, you’re about to spend some money I can already tell.  Best day EVER coming up next!

The round up:

Pre-sale for this box opens on Friday, May 26 and will run until June 9. Cost is $52 + shipping and 10% of the proceeds will be donated to the PTSD Foundation of America. You also have the option to just buy one polish or a set of 4, although that point is moot since we’ve already decided. All six, darlings!

To purchase, click here. Then stalk the mailman cuz it’s the most logical next step.

If you’d like to keep up to date on future Monthly Awareness Polish boxes (and you do), go give their Facebook page a like (click here) and follow them on Instagram (click here). And then as long as you’re clicking on stuff, here’s more fun:

Alter Ego

Pretty Beautiful Unlimited

Darling Diva Polish

Night Owl Lacquer

Sassy Pants Polish

O-My Jewels

And now you may get back into pajamas. Cuz good decisioning is hard work sometimes.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Lollipop Posse Lacquer: Terrible Twos Anniversary Trio

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That dadgum Instagram advertising!  First thing, I’m minding my own business, scrolling and napping with one eye closed.  Next thing I know, I am the proud owner of a pair of shoes that look like gardening clogs and something orthopedic had a baby.  I tried to wear them the other day and be all cool about it, start a new thing maybe, but it felt like any moment I’d be pulled into a diner kitchen to haul some raw chicken around.  ABORT ABORT!  My attempt at high fashion has failed rather miserably.  Which surprises no one, considering how long I ignored that jelly stain on my robe before I was forced to wash the dang thing.

But I used to be quite the fashionista, I swear it.  I mean, a Beastie Boys record around the ponytail doesn’t just happen to everybody, ya know?  Even in the 7th grade, I knew I had the gift.  The fact I did not start a hot new trend exploding throughout the middle school is beside the point.  Cuz later I owned a pair of hammer pants and well, what other proof you need then?

Nowadays, I’m feeling slightly less fashion-y.  Like, if it doesn’t have some Dr. Scholl’s-type padding in it, I’m not much interested. And the more material my underwear can have, the better.  Things need hoisted at this point in my life, let’s just say.  OMG, am I still married?  I don’t even know.

Good thing I’ve got this nail polish thing on lock.  Take a look at these pretty little sausages:

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Miss Karen from Lollipop Posse Lacquer sent me some beauties to review for you today.  The business is turning two, and to celebrate, the Terrible Twos Anniversary Trio is coming your way!  Did you just pee a little?  Cuz I sure did.

This trio is inspired by one of Karen’s favorite literary characters: Delirium, from Neil Gaiman’s Sandman graphic novels.  Let’s take a look!

First up is Telephone Ice Cream:

Have you ever spent days and days making up flavors of ice cream that no one’s ever eaten before?  Like chicken and telephone ice cream? … Green mouse ice cream was the worst.  I didn’t like that at all.”

— Delirium

This one is a stark white crème packed full of various sizes of blue and purple shimmer.  It’s slightly sheer at two coats but three coats was pretty close to opaque, and unless you’re walking about with your microscope and a pack of people all up in your business, no one can tell much about the sheerness anyway.  It’s a really pretty, delicate shade; all smooth and creamy.  Shimmer was a bit shy in my photos, but it’s much more evident in real life.

Close up of the goodies:

See, there’s that shimmer!  Drooling has officially commenced.

Next up is One Hundred and Eleven Fish:

It was then that Delirium noticed that she had absentmindedly transformed herself into a hundred and eleven perfect, tiny, multicolored fish.  Each fish sang a different song.  And as she put herself back together again, unable for the moment to remember whether the silver flecks went in the blue eye or the green one, she decided that a dog would be a nice thing to have. And then it occurred to her that there had been a dog around at some point, hadn’t there?  A nice doggie.  And she went off to look for it, trailing occasional fish …

— Neil Gaiman’s The Kindly Ones

This one is a magenta crelly that suspends blue to green shifting simmer and blue/green/purple ultra chrome flakies.  This is the very first UCC flake Lollipop Posse has made available to the public, and so now we need a trillion more cuz that’s how this thing works.  Isn’t it freaking glorious?  I want this on all the surfaces.  Mine AND yours.  

Under the lamps, it’s a Grabby Fingers epidemic:

Brain has officially stopped holding my mouth closed. The Ugly Ecstasy Face is so dire. 

DEAD.  Someone pass the smelling salts, stat.  Cuz the flakies got me.  They got me good, guys.

Lastly, here’s Scathed Enough in Her Time:

Despair:  You cannot seek Destruction and return unscathed.

Desire:  Delirium has.

Despair:  Delirium has been scathed enough in her time.

— Despair and Desire, from Neil Gaiman’s “Sandman” graphic novels

This one is a violently violet, blurple leaning linear holographic with a neon blue arc in the holographic flame.  Which is secret polish lingo for GET IT ON YER NAILS.  It’s magnificent.  Seriously, you think she’s just your basic purple holo, but NOT EVEN CLOSE.  Under the lamps, that blue comes out and she a fancy lady, at minimum.

Gah! Who’s still upright? Nope, me neither.

Let’s seal this deal:

If you’re somehow turning your back on all this pretty, I feel sad about your brain. Cuz it’s a blue and purple extravaganza! and I can’t think of anything better. Unless this trio comes with a side of Leonardo, that is. 

The round up:

The Terrible Twos Anniversary Trio will release on May 23 at 8pm EST, which is the exact date of Lollipop Posse’s anniversary.  So if you need an excuse to have a wine cooler on a Tuesday, this here’d be it. 

Trio price is $33.50 with free shipping, plus discounted international shipping for the first 24 hours after launch. Whyyyyyy, that’s a polish emergency if I ever heard one. Get your focus faces on, then. First in line? That’s YOU. 

Single bottle prices are:

Telephone Ice Cream $9.50 / One Hundred and Eleven Fish $12 / Scathed Enough in Her Time $12

You know, in case you’ve misunderstood how much you’re buying all three. 

Click here for shopping!

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

SwatchFest 2017: The Howling Boutique’s Supermoon Lacquer

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Hubby’s gonna have to put his book on astrophysics somewhere else less close to my stack of US Weeklies, cuz if there’s a dumb one in the family it sure as hell ain’t me.  I mean, I know what he’s doing cuz it’s the same thing I was doing when I had that Benjamin Franklin biography sitting on the coffee table for about 18 years.  SMART PEOPLE LIVE HERE, in case y’all need proof.

However, I haven’t read a proper book since 2015.  Long gone are the days when I was up to my eyeballs in historical fiction, novels about the Kings and Queens of British royalty, and dramas set during World War II.  You know, meaty stuff, good for the brain.  Nowadays, my reading material is slightly less impressive.  A memoir about a man born with two weenies, then?  GIMME.  Although surprisingly less scientific than expected, I can read it with one eye napping, and that’s about all the attention span I can manage.

I did download a book on my Kindle the other day, and made an attempt to get into over the weekend.  I went to my bedroom, and made such a show of it.  Robe, check.  Wine cooler, check.  Propped up by about a thousand tiny pillows, check.  And things were going so well.  One page done.  Swipe left.  Two pages done.  Swipe left.  Three paaa ge s don eeee, swwwww …… zzzzzzzzzzz.

DAMMIT.

Still working on finding that balance.  Clearly I’m not doing so well.

But the polish!  GUYS.  I got a really nice PR pack in the mail from sweet Mardi with The Howling Boutique’s Supermoon Lacquer, and y’all are just gonna trip over yourselves trying to get in line first .  Thank goodness for online shopping, cuz it’s about to get super elbow jabby in here, I just know it.

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Gah!  Do you see?!  It’s a Black Friday-style frenzy, at the minimum.  WANT, WANT, and NEED.  That’s your new motto.

First up is from their inaugural Ready to Launch collection, inspired by astronomy and space.  Here is Mystic Mountain:

Do you hear angels?  I hear angels.

For the nerds:  Mystic Mountain is a region observed in the Carina Nebula where newly formed stars fire off gas jets from within the peaks of this towering dust pillar located roughly 7500 light years from Earth.

For the Crazy Nail Lady (you, to be clear):  This one has a strong purple multichrome base with green to orange shifting shimmer and turquoise/purple/red chameleon shimmer.  ORRRRRRRRRR! Just a bunch of delicious things in a bottle.  Either way.

Under the lamps, even Science just shrugs it’s shoulders and goes back to bed:

Macro, for extra drool factor:

I mean, COME ON. How you’re able to walk away now is beyond me. Don’t make me grab the basket of kitties. Seriously, don’t do it.

Next up is from the Chosen Collection.  Here is Fight Your Demons:

All polishes in this collection were voted on by members of the Wolf Pack, the Howling Boutique’s group on Facebook.  Which means you have 2.5 seconds to join the group or else we need to have a talk about your brain.  Cuz I am the boss of you, that’s why.  Click here!

This one has a reddish brown multichrome base with gold and copper sparks, gold to green shifting shimmer and red/orange/gold chameleon shimmer.  I don’t know what it is about a brown polish, but it’s about 27 bottles away from ending up on all the surfaces.

More macros, in case you haven’t died enough today:

It’s a noodle leg epidemic!

Another one from the Ready to Launch collection.  This is Pistol Star:

For the nerds:  A blue hypergiant – a really bright star showing signs of losing mass at a very high rate – that’s named after and illuminates the Pistol Nebula.  It’s one of the most luminous stars in the Milky Way.

Well, that sounds about right.

For those with the lolling tongues:  This one has an intense bright blue duochrome base with turquoise to red and blue to purple shifting shimmer and some scattered holo.  I love glowy blues like this so much.  For real, there goes my ladylike composure, and quite honestly, no one’s surprised.

Macros, to aid the convincing:

Yep.  In the cart she goes!  No other choice.

Lastly, another one from the Chosen Collection.  Here’s my ultimate favorite, Green Goddess:

This one has an olive green multichrome base loaded with copper sparks, gold shimmer and copper/green/gold chameleon shimmer.  NOW PAY ATTENTION.  Cuz green is happening.  OMG.  You guys.  This one has me picking my jaw off the floor like 18,000 times.  If hubby walked in right now, he’d be so sad about the puddle of goo he’s married to.

A ridiculous display of pretty:

Seriously.  The Ugly Ecstasy Face is so dire.  The tongue is never going back in, I swear it.

The round up:

If you’re still upright at this point, you might be a robot.  Cuz DANG.

Here’s your shopping deets:

Mystic Mountain retails for $10 and will be restocking this week (or so)

Fight Your Demons retails for $10 and is available now

Pistol Star retails for $11 and is also available now

Green Goddess retails for $10 although should be a billion, and it’s available now too

Mardi says all of these polishes will be continually restocked, so if you miss out an any of them, keep checking back.  Set 27,000 alarms cuz no one has time for rational behavior.

Click here for shopping!

And now, some linky loos:

Facebook Page – click here

Facebook Fan Group – click here

Instagram – click here

Etsy store, where you can find Mardi’s jewelry – click here

Leonardo DiCaprio, where you can find me hiding in a stalker-y, smother-y kind of way – click here

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Nailed It!: Mother’s Day Collection 

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For the one who hosted the Mother’s Day cookout, you’d think it would’ve gone better.  Cuz for some reason, my sister left her 27,000 calorie coconut cheesecake at my house, and now I am forced to eat that delicious thing for dinner for nigh on eternity.  In other words, I’m not getting skinny any time soon.  Ugh.

Gotta be quick with the blog tonight so I can attempt to go to bed like a normal person.  We’ll see how that goes.  Cuz every time I think it’s finally gonna happen, the episode where Uncle Joey gets his tongue stuck in a Coke bottle comes on, and then it’s a Full House extravaganza whether I like it or not.

But here we go anyway …

Tia from Nailed It! sent me this gorgeous Mother’s Day collection to review for you all.  Who’s in the mood for a basket full of pink things?  (You, to be clear.)  Take a look:

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Welp, let’s get the smiling like an idiot part out of the way first, shall we?  Perhaps you need to go off by yourself for a second, lest someone walk in on you while you’ve got your eyes closed, looking stupid. Seriously, I have to blog in a separate room otherwise hubby be there lurking with the judgy eyes.  I mean, can he not just hold the remote and look straight ahead like a proper husband?  Blah.

First up is Because I Said So:

This one has a nude pink base with gold and rose gold flakies.  And it’s DELICIOUS.  I’m not usually one for neutral shades, but the flakies, guys.  The dadgum flakies!  Everything else is moot.  Two smooth coats and a thousand buckets to drool in.  At minimum.

Close up of the goodies:

You done died.  You did.

Next up is Wine O’clock:

This one has a brown-toned wine base with a touch of red and lots of pretty gold holo.  It’s my faaaaaavorite!  I love this darker shade so much.  Cuz anytime my sad white sausages can look anywhere close to HAND MODEL!, we’re shoving them in stranger’s faces in about 2.5 seconds.  Completely normal behavior, pretty sure.

Yep, you’re getting this:

There’s no other option at this point.

Now here’s Hot Mess Momma:

This one is a glitter bomb full of pink and silver holo glitters in a clear base.  I did three coats on top of naked nails for my swatches, but it would look so good as a topper if you’d rather go that route.  I’d show you myself but I don’t plan things very well.  BEST BLOGGER EVER, is what you’re thinking.

Although, I did go outside for this shot.  Effort = made.

Points for putting pants on!  Sooooo, hopefully a Starbucks is coming.

Macro, in case you want to pass out a little:

Okay, that was nuts.  Whew!

Lastly, here’s Mums the Word:

This one has a pink cream base with a pink shift and holographic sparkle.  It’s super girly and just plain adorable.  If you’re holding tiny sandwiches next, no one’s surprised.  Tea with the Queen?  BRING IT.

Let’s make it official:

All of it, in the cart.  Stat.  Despite my clear expert photography skills, cuz a blurry macro just happens sometimes.  I might’ve gotten sidetracked by another dadgum piece of coconut cheesecake, but who honestly knows.

The round up:

This Mother’s Day collection is available now, so if you feel like spending some money at this very moment, well you’re about to have a var var good day.  Here’s the deets:

Full 4-piece set retails at $30

Single bottles are $8.50

And don’t forget, I have a discount code!  Use dianna15 at checkout to get 15% off your order.  That is your prize for reading all the way to the bottom.  Toots for you!

Click here for shopping, then congratulate yourself for the good decisioning.  Pajamas for everyone!  And maybe half this cheesecake, cuz I refuse to be the only one sitting here with her fat hanging out.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

All Mixed Up Lacquers: April and May Disney Princess (LE) + F5 Top Coat

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Things to do with your hubby on a Friday night:

1.  Sit in the garage and eat french fries, gleefully, like we invented the dang thing.  Seriously, we were like two kids sneaking a cigarette behind the wood shop at school or something.  If a high five ensued, no one would be surprised.  Perhaps we were just happy we were off work and had two days to wear pajamas.  Or perhaps we are just lame.  I dunno.

2.  Spend five hours trying to surprise kiss my husband since he won’t do it the normal way cuz my right nostril scab has officially reached an expert level of unattractiveness.  So apparently there IS conditions to his love, which is good to know in case of accidental nail polish extravaganza. I mean, if I happen to buy 1247 more bottles whose fault shall it be then?  When there’s a hole in your life, you fill it. It’s basic science.

3.  You watch your husband watch an extraordinary amount of serial killer shows on Discovery ID.  I don’t know what that’s about, but SLIGHTLY ALARMING doesn’t even begin to describe this scenario.  Cuz there’s 500 other channels he could be watching; certainly there’s an undiscovered space galaxy he needs to know about instead.  Or at least someone is mining for gold or making moonshine, at the minimum.  In other words, SEND HELP.

I have a few polishes from All Mixed Up Lacquers to share with you today.  My pal, LJ, sent me her April and May Disney Princess shades plus a new top coat to review, so I figure it’s time to get into it considering at the end of May, this blog will be moot.  Another POLISH EMERGENCY, people, so get your focus face on.  The amount of serious business up ahead is downright superhuman.  Take a look:

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

If you love glitter crellies, you’re about 2.5 seconds away from your best day ever.  Cuz where there is glitter, there is you smiling to yourself with your eyes closed.  I get it.  Glitter makes me an idiot, too.  The Ugly Ecstasy Face is a dire thing.

First up is the April polish – she’s called Mulan:

This one is a light yellow crelly loaded with lime green holo glitter and garnet and sapphire metallic glitter.  What a fun mix!  It’s so bold and bright and cheerful.  Happiness in a bottle, with a Starbucks and a Leonardo on top.  Cuz if you’re gonna love something, doing it in a stalker-y, smother-y kind of way makes the most sense.

I did two brushed on coats and one dabbed on coat to fill in any naked spots.  And since the glitters have their jazz hands on, I added two coats of the new top coat to simmer down the crazy.  Otherwise it’s a little textured, and I’m not in the mood for a hives-like episode.

Macro of the goodies:

One bottle plus 27 backup bottles, in the cart they go!

For May, we have Tiana:

This one is a light green crelly base with dark green glitters and multi sized gold holographic glitters.  It’s my favorite, and well, have you read this blog before?  Cuz you don’t just toss a green one in here and expect me not to drool in a thousand tiny buckets.  

Again, I did two brushed on coats, one dabbed on coat and two coats of the new top coat.  And the glitter payout is legit no joke.  It is everywhere.  If you’re walking away from this one, I feel sad about your brain.

An insane display of pretty:

I won’t lie; I kinda wanna lick that.  I mean, I know it tastes like poison and it might actually kill me, but what if – WHAT IF! – it doesn’t?  What if it’s a green apple Jolly Rancher and I’ve just been wasting so much time sitting here being normal and whatnot? What is the point in life if you can’t eat a bit of nail polish every now and then? I ask you, WHAT IS THE POINT?

LJ also debuted a new quick dry top coat.  Take a look at F5:

This dries to the touch in under a minute and completely dry in less than 3 minutes.  Very glossy and won’t smudge nail art.  I’ve been using this almost nonstop since I got it – it’s almost gone! – and I just love it.  Another swatcher, who doesn’t change her manicure 15 times a day like a proper loon, said it’s kept her chip free for over 3 days.  Which is good news for everyone who isn’t me.  You know, for the normal people, is what I mean.

The round up:

Okay, seriously, this collage gives me a twitchy eye.  May on top of April?  Might as well hang a picture on the wall about a quarter inch wonky and then walk away like no big deal.  EXCEPT IT IS A BIG DEAL.  OMG, I gotta get out of this blog, stat.

The deets:

The two Disney Princess limited editions retail for $6.50 for a mini or $9 for full size.

The top coat mini is $6 and the full is $7, and even though I haven’t done math without a calculator since 1992, I’m about 97.87549% certain the full size is a dang good deal.

Here’s where it gets serious:  the Disney polishes are only available until May 31.  Did you just do an overly dramatic gasp of panic?  ME TOO!  Basically, if you don’t get your shit together in the next two weeks, it’ll be a sad state of affairs for you.  Click here for shopping!  Go now.  I mean it.

Hey, thanks for reading all the way to the bottom!  You all make writing this blog so dang worth it.  Without you, I’d just be in here talking to myself like a crazy person, so toots for you for keeping me somewhat sane.  As much as a drooling, nail polish licking person can be, that is.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Different Dimension + Crystal’s Charity Lacquers: Trio for MS Society

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You know how sometimes when there is a surprise Leonardo sighting and you realize all those years of honing your planning skills is about to come in real handy considering the amount of wedding dress happening in the trunk of your car at that very moment, and then you’re like, GO ME! for having the best day ever?

Well, guess who’s about to have another one just tossed in their lap like no big deal?  (You, to be clear.)  Although with slightly less Leonardo, but you’re gonna love it nonetheless.  Cuz Crystal’s Charity Lacquers is back y’all and it’s time to hoard some polish!

Each month or so, Crystal’s Charity Lacquers chooses a charity and teams up with indie brands to create exclusive polishes to sell and help raise funds for the cause.  For May, she chose Missi from Different Dimension and Sarah and Adrienne, the girls from Fair Maiden Polish, to release some pretties to benefit the MS (Multiple Sclerosis) Society.

So get off your no-buys, ladies!  TOTAL LEGIT JUSTIFICATION doesn’t even begin to describe this scenario.

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Our charity this month is the MS (Multiple Sclerosis) Society. This is a charity that is very close to my heart as my mom has MS and has battled the disease for more than 30 years. I have grown up watching this illness slowly (and sometimes quickly) take away aspects of life that most of us take for granted. The ability to stand, to walk, to feed yourself. The ability to scratch an itch. To push your hair out of your eyes. These are just a small sample of day to day activities that most of us take for granted that MS has taken from my mom.

Multiple Sclerosis is often referred to as the snowflake disease; it affects no two people exactly alike. Because of this, treatment is often difficult and costly. The MS Society helps ease some of the burden to those diagnosed with MS through financial, emotional and research support. When I was a child, people would often ask me what was wrong with my Mom. Back then, it was rare that the person asking would have heard of MS. Now, the response is too often, “Oh yeah, my friend/relative has that.”  MS is on the rise and we need to fight back!!

— Crystal Weber, Crystal’s Charity Lacquers

Well, of course we’re doing this.  In fact, we’re buying 1257 bottles, at the minimum.  Cuz we don’t get to Crazy Nail Lady by being normal, and rational behavior is for other people.  In the cart they go!

As previously mentioned, there are two indie brands helping out this round.  I only have swatches of the Different Dimension offering, but there is a link down below to another blog where you can view the swatches for Fair Maiden Polish.  Cuz who is the best, most thorough blogger in all the land?  I’m not even telling cuz you already know.

(Okay, it’s me.  I got scared you weren’t sure.)

First up is No MS’ing Around:

This is a light mint green linear holographic, and it’s my favorite of the bunch.  It has the most perfect springtime quality to it and it looks so gorgeous on the nail.  There may be some random hand modeling scenarios later with this one.  Cuz running your fingers languidly over toasters and clock radios just happens sometimes whether you like it or not.

Under the lamps:

Even better.  Seriously, you’re buying this.  Otherwise, we need to have a chat about decisions and how to make them.

Macro time!

Welp, it’s about to get super pass-out-y in here, I think. 

Next up is Kicking Multiple Scleros-ass:

This is a hot coral pink linear holographic with added shimmers.  How much do you love it?!  It’s basically neon (YUM), and if you have sad white sausages like me, you’re gonna love how pretty this makes your fingers look. Although between the time I did the green mani and this one, I stubbed my ring fingernail and the Universe took a chunk out. Well, OF COURSE IT DID. Cuz tossing in a bit of hobo before I go off tooting my own horn sounds about right. Ugh.

Under the lamps, she’s a hot little mama:

Gracious. I’ll take a billion.

Macros, in case you’re on the fence:

Cuz the fence is no place for a lady.

Lastly, here’s dreaMS:

This one is a lightened teal blue linear holographic with added shimmers. A spectacular shade of blue, lemme just say. Even though the notch in my fingernail now officially has its jazz hands on, it’s still a pretty dang good mani. I’m about 2.5 seconds away from sticking my fingers in people’s faces, but SOCIETY says no.  Surprisingly, strangers don’t wanna look at mah nails! quite as much as expected.  Society is zero fun sometimes. 

Under the lamps, it gets ridiculous:

An insane display of pretty:

It glows! And we lub it so much.

The round up:

In addition to this lovely trio, Fair Maiden Polish has a single shade up for grabs as well.  Their offering is called Keep S’Myelin’, a magenta holo polish with a violet flame and shifting blue/green chrome flake.  Even without pictures, I know I want 27 back-ups of that one.  However, you can go check out Becky from Naked Without Polish for official swatches, in case you don’t toss polish in your cart all willy nilly like me.  Click here!

Pre-order for these starts tomorrow, May 12 at 3pm PST (or 6pm EST) and will run until Friday, May 26 only.  That’s two tiny weeks of POLISH EMERGENCY! so make sure you get your priorities in order.  Once time is up, the polish is gone forever, and it’ll be a sad state of affairs if you miss it.

Cost for the Different Dimension polishes are $14 each and the Fair Maiden one will be $11.  To purchase, visit each respective makers’ site.  And so you don’t have to figure any of this out for yourself, here’s the links all laid out so nice and pretty:

Different Dimension – click here

Fair Maiden Polish – click here

Cuz BEST BLOGGER EVER, that’s why.

A portion of the proceeds will be donated to the MS Society through Crystal’s MS Walk fundraising link.  To read more, click here.

While you’re in a clicking mood, go ahead and join the Crystal’s Charity Lacquers Facebook group so you can get inside scoop on future donations, brand collaborations, and polish sneak peeks.  DO IT.  I mean it.  Click here.

Okay, gang.  That’s a lot of clicking.  Time for pajamas and some lounging on couches cuz you’ve had a hard day.  Me too, though, cuz this blog just don’t write itself for some reason. After 18 years of typing and a skosh of carpal tunnel setting in, if there’s a nap coming soon, that’d be great.

Later, Loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Painted Polish: Stamped in Spring Collection + PCNY Hipster Trio

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For a girl who got booed on her 21st birthday for sipping a Jagermeister shot like a fancy lady, you’d see me now – all covered in robe, head lolling in the midst of an accidental 8pm nap, mouth agape for extra attractiveness – and think, YEP. That sounds about right.

Listen, all things considered, I’m basically a success story. As Spelling Bee Champion of 1987, you’d expect a little venture down a dark road at some point. But I can ignore peer pressure like it’s my damn job. Cuz having anxiety and thinking everything might kill me sometimes comes in very handy. I’m a goodie two shoes cuz I’m too scared not to be.

In other words, super fun at parties.

Although I do have my addictions, don’t get me wrong.  When I find a hobby, I do it super hardcore.  I can’t be normal about it.  This is how you end up with a duffle bag full of puzzle books and a monthly subscription to 11 different scrapbook kits.  Cuz while most rational people might just do things leisurely, I will obsess over it in a credit-card-retaliating, stalker-y, smother-y kind of way.  Then sell all of it at a garage sale about 2 months later.

Like a sugar high, the crash comes swiftly.  SEND HELP is what I’m saying.

I have some gorgeous polishes from Painted Polish to show you today.  First time on the blog y’all, so toots for Lexi for making good decisions!  She sent me an awesome set of stamping polishes plus a trio that debuted at Polish Con which is now available to the rest of us.  Get ready to die a little.  Here we go!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

 

First up is the Stamped in Spring collection, a set of 5 deliciously springy colors that are either one or two coaters that double as stamping polishes.  A two in one!  Which means you just saved money, so if there was ever a time to justify the next 1275 bottles of nail polish, now would be it.

Lemme do the rundown of colors, then I’ll meet you at the bottom.

First one is Stamped in Mint, a creamy one coat pastel mint:

I’m trying to keep my chatting to a minimum so we aren’t in this blog all damn day, but the lolling tongues are lurking.  Ugh.  So pretty.

Here’s Stamped in Starfruit, a springy pastel yellow:

Drool buckets on standby.

This is Stamped in Guava, a fresh pastel coral:

Bad case of the noodle legs.  Someone roll me over a little fainting couch!  And bring a Starbucks, just in case.

Next is Stamped in Taro, a one coat pastel periwinkle:

OMG, purple lovers!  This one has your name on it.  Get on it, boo boos.

Lastly, here’s Stamped in Peach, a yummy pastel peach:

How I am still upright, it’s defied all logical explanation.  These crèmes are luscious.  Ultra smooth, although thicker than your average polish.  The lighter colors needed two coats just to make everything level, but the one-coat coverage was phenomenal on all of them.  There’s no way you’re getting out of this blog without spending some money, I just know it.

But do they stamp?  You tell me:

GUYS.  I made a thing.  And it turned out so cute!  Quick! Someone get me my horn so I can toot it.

I used the Lina Feeling Shapely 01 and 09 plates, Stamped in Mint and Stamped in Peach if you’re curious.  (You are this time!)  Next.

Effort was made with all that gradient stamping.  Goodness.  You ask the Baby Jesus just one time for a bit of mojo, and look what happens.  Nail art, everywhere.

Used the Lina Mad for Mandalas 01 plate for this one, plus Stamped in Starfruit, Stamped in Guava and Stamped in Taro.

Another favorite!  Who am I?  Certainly the mojo is halfway out the door by now?

This time I used the Lina Make Your Mark 04 plate, Stamped in Guava and Stamped in Taro.  And some peach studs for extra specialness.

Okay, this one almost went the way of stamping all the things but I think I got it together in time.  Sometimes when I do nail art, my brain goes away somewhere.  The focus face has done took a vacay.

I used the Lina Feeling Shapely 09 plate, Stamped in Peach, Stamped in Starfruit and Stamped in Taro.  On this particular plate, the images are mostly mix n match geometric shapes, which gives me a touch of the OCDs.  So all things considering, this mani is a bit of a miracle.  The fact there’s not 18,000 triangles on it is proof.

Last one, and I’m going out on a high note.  I think this is darling.  If there’s an award coming, no one is surprised.

For this one, I used the Uber Chic Beauty 17-01 plate, Stamped in Taro, Stamped in Mint and one of Painted Polish’s other shades, Midnight Mischief.   Recreations (and kudos and accolades) start now!

This was my first time to use any of Lexi’s stamping polishes, and now I think I need them all.  They work very well, even stamp over black as another swatcher discovered.  If you feel like spending a little money today, right here is a good reason. 

In addition to the stamping collection, the PCNY Hipster Trio is coming back. It first debuted at Polish Con, but now all the rest of us get our chance.  Take a look at these lovelies:

Who else just peed a little?  Squeeeeee!

First up is V-Necks & Vinyl:

This one is a fuchsia ultra holo with added silver holo glitters.  So much pretty in just two coats!  If you haven’t already drooled in a thousand buckets by now, well here’s where you’re about to get suuuuuuper unattractive.   Cuz there’s only so much sexy to go around while this is on yer nails.

Macro, in case more convincing is in order:

Gah!  Have you ever?  NO. YOU. HAVE. NOT.

Next up is Beards & Bow Ties:

This one is a white crelly base full of fuchsia, orange, gold and sky blue glitters.  You know how sometimes when you use a white crelly, and it’s streaky and un-level-y and generally not good?  Well, welcome to your new best friend!  This white crelly is PERFECTION.  Two coats, smooth application, no patches, no gloop, nothing. It’s quite possibly made of magic.  And happiness.  With a Starbucks on top.  I can’t think of a better thing.  Unless it comes with a basketful of kitties, that is.

A macro EXTRAVAGANZA! 

Lastly, here’s Mix Tapes & Man Buns:

This is the glitter twin to the above crelly.  Same glitter mix, but in a clear base.  And for such a glitter bomb, it goes on really well!  Would also make an excellent counterpart to some fun nail art with the crelly.

So naturally, I didn’t do one for you cuz BEST BLOGGER EVER.  Clearly, I didn’t plan that out well.

I brushed on two coats and then did some dabbing with a third just to make sure it was all covered.  It’s very blingy, and I think you’ll love it.  Cuz you’re a Crazy Nail Lady, that’s why.

Macros, then we shop:

Oh my.  Bye bye checkbook.

Both of these collections released yesterday, so you’re all set to spend some money.  Here’s what you need to know:

The Stamped in Spring 5-piece set is $45; single bottles are $10 each

The PCNY Hipster Trio is $28.  If you go the single bottle route, V-Necks & Vinyls is $12 and the other two are $10 each

Click here for shopping! Then sit back, relax, and stalk the mailman like a proper loon.  At this point, you have no choice.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •