Author Archives: Dianna

Blush Lacquers: Beach Bunny Collection 

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We’re not gonna talk about what time it is right now and what I should be doing instead of what I’m actually doing, cuz a reminder of my failures is not something I’m in the mood for at the moment.  I mean, just because I intend (at some point) to stop going to bed at 2am on a work night doesn’t mean I’m not dying of exhaustion in the meantime.  Good thing I’m such a Trophy Wife, or we’d all be worried.

More goodies to share with you today!  Victoria with BLUSH Lacquers has another stunning collection coming your way, and if you’ve got a thing for some gorgeous-y shimmers, well then you’re about to have a VERY good day.  Take a look!

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Look at you with your jaw all drop-y like that!  The Ugly Ecstasy Face is lurking, just so you know.

These five beauties are part of the Beach Bunny collection and are inspired by vintage swimwear and hot summer days at the beach with the radio on.  Each polish has a light touch of holo that is reminiscent of glistening beach waves and/or sweat bead mustache, if you’re me.  Cuz I don’t sweat like a lady, that’s why.

Welcome to Speed Blog #4, blah blah blah.  Yes, we’re still doing this thing.  Here’s the quick rundown of colors, sans the commentary I want to do so bad but can’t cuz APPARENTLY napping isn’t conducive to blog writing for some reason.  Ugh.  LAME.

TEENY WEENY PINK BIKINI

DESCRIPTION:  A squishy Barbie doll pink jelly base with a red/purple/blue shifting shimmer and sparkling touch of holo pigment

OPACITY:  Three coats

SURFBOARD

DESCRIPTION:  A teal base with green shimmer and a sparkling touch of holo pigment

OPACITY:  Two coats

BANANA BOAT FLOAT

DESCRIPTION:  A soft butter yellow with glowing white-ish blue shimmer and a sparkling touch of holo pigment

OPACITY:  Three coats

And then I put pants on:

I went outside, just for you.  Best blogger ever?  I say YES.

VINTAGE VINYL

DESCRIPTION:  A soft ballerina pink with a red to green shifting shimmer and a sparkling touch of holo pigment

OPACITY:  Three coats

MY BEACH UMBRELLA-ELLA-ELLA

DESCRIPTION:  A periwinkle base with a pinkish-purple shimmer and a sparkling touch of holo pigment

OPACITY:  Two coats

THE ROUND UP

The formula on these is consistently amazing across the board.  Perfectly smooth, no gloop.  And I’ve mentioned it before, but I’ll say it again:  the applicator brush is WHAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF.  Am I am 9-year-old who just walked into a room full of office supplies?  Might as well be.  Squeeee!

Surprisingly, my favorite of the bunch is the yellow one. It legit looks like butter, which is basically the elixir of life, so naturally I want it on all the surfaces.  COMPLETELY NORMAL BEHAVIOR in case you’re curious.  

This collection releases Friday, July 28 at 7pm EST in the BLUSH Etsy store as well as the Girly Bits international stockist site.  I suggest setting at least 17 alarms, cuz if you miss out on these, it’s a sad state of affairs for everyone.  Get on it boo boos!  You can thank me in Starbucks later.

Connect with BLUSH Lacquers!  The linky loos:

Instagram

Fan Group

And while you’re in a clicking mood, click here for my Instagram.  Cuz we’s best friends whether you want it or not.

Later, loves!

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Painted Polish: At Sea – Volume III Collection 

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I am literally sitting here blogging with one eye sleeping.  I’m not even sure what’s happening.  Might be blogging, might be dreaming.  For real, guys, I don’t even know.  Whatever the case may be, it’s after midnight so HEY! Let’s start a blog! cuz that makes a wholllllllle lotta sense right about now.  Ugh.  Where is Leonardo when you need him?  (Seriously, though, WHERE IS HE?)

I told hubby I’d stop going to bed at 2am on a work night, so clearly that’s going well.  I’m not good at goals, let’s just say.  I’m always making an attempt, though, so I get half a horn toot at least.  And a Starbucks, you know, if y’all not busy.

Let’s talk polish!  I have the gorgeous Painted Polish At Sea: Volume III Collection to share with you today, a 6-piece set of glitters and holos and one coat cremes.  And in case you haven’t drooled enough today, well, Lexi’s got you covered.  Welcome to Speed Blog #3, plus caffeine, plus jazz hands.  Here we go!

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I die, I die!  You’re buying all these, I’ve already decided.  I mean, you were just sitting around in sweatpants doing nothing, anyway.

Okay, no more chatty or else I’ll be writing this thing for nigh on eternity.  Here’s the rundown of colors, then I’ll meet you at the bottom!


Stamped in Seafoam

DESCRIPTION:  A seafoam blue/green creme; doubles as a stamping polish

OPACITY:  A one coater!

Some nail art:

I don’t love it, but I don’t hate it. I mean, no one is giving me a trophy for this one, pretty sure. Even a participation ribbon might need committee approval first.

Used the Lina Born to Sail 02 plate in case you’re curious.  (You’re not.  NEXXXXXT!)

Yo-Ho-Holo

DESCRIPTION:  A teal ultra holo with added silver holographic glitters for extra sparkle

OPACITY:  Two coats 

Break for holo!  An EXTRAVAGANZA! is underway:

And now wallets are officially flying out of purses everywhere.

Something cute:

I mean, if I didn’t do a mermaid mani in here at some point, does the Blogger Licence get revoked, or … ?

Used the Lina Born to Sail 02 plate again in case recreations are in order.  (Maybe this time?)

Kissin’ Kelp

DESCRIPTION:  A deep teal scattered holo with gold shimmer and gold holographic glitters

OPACITY:  Two coats

And now we have GREEEEEEEEN.  Excuse me while my tongue lolls about outside my body.

More not-hideous nail art:

What’s with this sudden burst of mojo?  I’m not even sure this is the right blog we’re in.

Used the Uber Chic Beauty Vacation Mode plate for this one, and I lub it lots.

Stamped in Salmon

DESCRIPTION:  A bright salmon creme; doubles as a stamping polish

OPACITY:  One to two coater; I did two for safety

Seriously, who am I:

Certainly, the mojo has one foot out the door by now?  Cuz I stinkin’ adore this one.

Back to the Lina Born to Sail 02 again, cuz when I love something, I do it in the most smother-y, stalker-y way possible.  

Jolly My Roger

DESCRIPTION:  A nude/light bronze ultra holo with added silver holo for extra sparkle

OPACITY:  Two coats

Legit no joke insane display of holo:

My eyes, my eyes!  How you’re still upright at this point defies all the logic.

More good nail art:

Please tell me Leonardo is on his way.  Cuz after four good nail arts, I’m pretty sure I win a prize.

Used the Uber Chic Beauty Vacation Mode on this one.  Love the contrast between the black and the holo.  You too?  (YES.)

Nauti Nudist

DESCRIPTION:  A sandy nude holographic microglitter

OPACITY:  Two coats; pretty dang smooth for an ultra packed glitter; no gloop!

Final nail art:

The stamping was a bit more subtle than expected, but I think it turned out pretty cute anyway.  It’s a coral image in case you can’t tell.  It’s also my 5th good nail art in a row, so I’m feeling a bit overachieve-y at the moment.  Toot toot!

Used the Lina Born to Sail 02 plate one more time, cuz I’m properly obsessed.

The round up:

This collection is sooooo good, guys!  Especially those two holos.  I’m not even gonna pretend anything ladylike is happening over here, cuz I assure you, THERE IS NOT.  You need these in your life.  Plus 27 backup bottles, you know, in case of accidental painting of all the surfaces.  As happens from time to time.

The deets:

Full set retails for $58

If you have to do single bottles, the two cremes/stamping polishes and Nauti Nudist are $10; the rest are $12

Click here for shopping!  And then sit back and revel in your good decisioning.

Now, for the linky loos!  Connect with Painted Polish:

Instagram

Facebook

Fan Group

Thank you all so much for stopping by as always.  I have about 10 days left of blogging chaos, then hopefully I can get back to annoying the shit out of everyone.  YOU CAN’   T WA . ..JIT

Gotta go!  The cat just laid next to me and is taking a bath so now I have to kiss him on the mouth real quick.  I’m sure I had a point earlier, but my brain has officially gone away somewhere.  First mojo, now this.  Seriously, we still in the right blog?

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Lollipop Posse Lacquer: Summer Mix Tape – Overdrive Edition 

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Hubby had to go into work today so I’ve laid in bed for the past four hours waiting for food to just magically appear and it never freaking did.  So now I am sitting in the Schlotzsky’s drive-thru, blogging into my phone like a crazy person and sadly wearing pants.  Ugh.  Too much effort for a Saturday.

The only good thing about having the house to myself is that I can write without distraction.  Cuz as soon as someone turns the TV on, I’m done for.  And it doesn’t even matter what show it is.  I know I talk a lot about Full House, but there could be a documentary on about a snake that eats people and suddenly my brain just goes away somewhere.  Which, if you have 7,397 blogs to write, this scenario is the least ideal.  Not much gets done while lying comatose on the couch, let’s just say.

Welcome to Speed Blog #2, y’all!  I’m home now and still trying to get caught up, which at this point is proving to take light years, plus eons and eternities on top.  I mean, I’ve just turned on my iTunes and taken about 15 dance breaks since writing this sentence.  Seriously, who’s in charge here?  Cuz they are about 97.8566% CRAP at their job.  Blah.

I have the new Lollipop Posse Lacquer Summer Mix Tape: Overdrive Edition to share with you today!  And trust me, guys:  YOU. WILL. LOVE.  Grab some smelling salts and go lock yourself in a room alone – you’re about to get suuuuuuuuper unattractive in about 2.5 seconds.  Take a look:

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And what do we do when new Lollipop’s are coming?  Pass the hell on out now, that’s what.  

This collection was created in collaboration with Karen’s husband, Mr. Lollipop, and inspired by their mutual love for the alt rock scene of the late 90s/early 2000s.  Yes, yes and more yes!  Plus, I love that her hubs got in on the action and they made something cool.  In my house, we’d collab on something food related, most likely involving potato chips or gravy on things.  So yeah, like, LESS COOL, clearly.

And now, the rundown of colors in 3 … 2 … 1 …

But My Hands are Busy in the Air – $9.50

The world’s a roller coaster / And I am not strapped in / Maybe I should hold with care / But my hands are busy in the air

— Incubus, Wish You Were Here

DESCRIPTION:  A turquoise crelly that is filled with purple shimmer and a bit of holographic sparkle

OPACITY:  Two coats

She Lives on the Borderline – $12

She lives on the borderline / That they call hazel / And the tent that she lives in / Has the name of her lover / As she lays down to rest

— Wolfmother, White Unicorn

DESCRIPITION:  A multichrome crelly that shifts between green/red/copper and even blue at extreme angles, with iridescent red/green/gold color shifting glitters and micro holographic sparkles

OPACITY:  Two coats

I Remember When I Lost My Mind – $9.50

I remember when / I remember / I remember when I lost my mind / There was something so special about that place / Even your emotions had an echo in so much space

— Gnarles Barkley, Crazy

DESCRIPTION:  A royal purple crelly with ocean blue shimmer and iridescent sparkle

OPACITY:  Three coats

My Heart’s in Overdrive – $9.50

Can’t explain all the feelings that you’re making me feel / My heart’s in overdrive and you’re behind the steering wheel

— The Darkness, I Believe in a Thing Called Love

DESCRIPTION:  A hot pink crelly packed with blue shimmer, holographic microflakies, micro holo sparkle and silver flakies

OPACITY:  Three coats, although two was very close

The Future is Coming On – $11

I ain’t happy / I’m feeling glad / I got sunshine in a bag / I’m useless / But not for long / The future is coming on

— Gorillaz, Clint Eastwood

DESCRIPTION:  A steel-colored chrome base that suspends red/green/gold color shifting iridescent glitter and a healthy dose of iridescent sparkle

OPACITY:  Three coats, but two was close

Pleasantly Caving In – $9.50

I drift along the ocean / Dead lifeboat in the sun / And come undone / Pleasantly caving in / I come undone

— Queens of the Stone Age, No One Knows

DESCRIPTION:  An ocean blue crelly that leans cobalt with red/violet shimmer and a scattering of holographic sparkle

OPACITY:  Two coats, although under the lamps it appeared like it could’ve used a third

Help Me Burn Out Bright – $9.50

I’m looking to the sky to save me / Looking for a sign of life / Looking for something to help me burn out bright

— Foo Fighters, Learn to Fly

DESCRIPTION:  A fiery glitter topper that consists of two sizes of color changing, iridescent hex glitters and a sprinkling of holographic sparkle

OPACITY:  Only one coat over a dark shade required for excellent glitter payoff

The round up:

And we are all just big puddles of goo.  Anyone still upgright at this point, well clearly you are WRONG.  Cuz you can’t have this much glitter and flakies and delicious iridescence without at least a minor case of the Noodle Legs.  Unless you don’t like pretty things.  Or you have no eyes.  I dunno.

My favorite is She Lives on the Borderline, which y’all already knew, cuz where there is green there is me loving it in a smother-y, stalker-y kind of way.  Plus, I’m a sucker for multichromes.  Ladylike composure = out the window, each and every dadgum time.

This collection just released last week, so you’re all set for shopping.  Individual bottle pricing is listed above next to each polish name, but if you’re feeling the grabby fingers, full set is $65.  Let’s spend some money today!  Click here and be happy.

And now, the linky loos.  Connect with LPL, stat:

Instagram

Facebook

Fan Group

Thanks for hanging in here with me while I try to write a blog without writing a blog (with jazz hands).  It’s hard to just give you a description and show you pictures and then move on to the next one like I ain’t a big drool-y mess and this is all NO BIG DEAL.  Cuz it IS a big deal to the trillionth degree, let me assure you.  Lollipop Posse Lacquer is legit no joke, and Karen is the QUEEN.  In other words, you’re buying 18,000 bottles.  Weeee!

Later, loves!

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Top Shelf Lacquer: Alcohol Musings Collection 

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The onslaught of boring blogs is coming, guys. I have wasted so much time in the past few days, I am officially behind schedule to the trillionth degree.  It seems all the lounging on couches and accidental naps before bedtime have not proven to be as productive as one would expect. Cuz apparently things don’t just happen all by themselves.  Boooooo.  Science wins again. 

Lately it’s been Lazy, Level EXPERT plus a bunch of bonus rounds on top.  So much robe has been happening, if hubby’s reconsidering that for better, for worse thing he swore he’d do, no one’s surprised.  He tried to lure me outside to go make an effort of some sort, and I’m like, is Leonardo out there handing me a Starbucks, then?  Cuz that’s the only outside type of escapade I’m willing to commit to.  Until then, it’s me + couch + air conditioning = not getting skinny any time soon.  Besides, last time I attempted effort, I got carpet burn in my butt crack, and not even for a very good reason.  Pilates is the devil, let’s just say.

But now the situation has reached a dire state.  The blogs have piled up, and if I don’t figure out a way to write them with a skosh less Tolstoy, we’re all gonna be sitting in here for the next 18 years.  I don’t know what y’all got planned later, but I’m pretty sure living a much more interesting life than me is probably at the top of the list.  Cuz not everyone has time to polish nails for nigh on eternity.  Although why don’t you?! is the actual question. 

So let’s get into it, then!  I have the new Alcohol Musings collection from Top Shelf Lacquer to show you today, a set of six gorgeous creme shimmers with a twist.  And good news:  you’re buying all of them.  Weeeee!  Take a look:

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Told ya.  Wallets are flying out of purses everywhere.  A prelude to the Noodle Leg Epidemic happening next.

Okay, FOCUS.  Serious business up ahead.  Enjoy the pictures sans commentary; I’ll just be over here having an attack of the hives.  COMPLETELY NORMAL BEHAVIOR, if you’re curious.  Here’s the rundown of colors:

Tequila Made Me Do It:

DESCRIPTION:  A turquoise creme with turquoise shimmer with a delicate pink shift and touch of scattered holo

It’s Not Good to Keep Things Bottled Up:

DESCRIPTION:  A rose pink creme with a pink to blue shifting shimmer and touch of scattered holo

I am GIN-vincible:

DESCRIPTION:  A medium blue creme with a turquoise to purple shifting shimmer

You Can’t Sip With Us!:

DESCRIPTION:  A bright orange creme with greenish gold shimmer with subtle flash of pink in just the right lighting

Irish I Had a Beer!:

DESCRIPTION:  A mint green with a soft shift to pink and peach with a touch of scattered holo

An extra macro so you can really see that shift:

Life is BREWtiful!:

DESCRIPTION:  A lilac creme with red shimmer that has a subtle shift to copper and a touch of scattered holo

Clearly, words were not necessary.  All stunning, all glorious, all super pass-out-y.  If you haven’t drooled in at least a thousand buckets by this point, I am var var sad about your brain.

And then I did A THING:

A watermarble thing!  And it turned out perfectly.  Did you just scroll up to see whose blog you were reading?  ME TOO!  I swear, I can only tell I am me by the sheer amount of robe that is happening at the moment.

That shimmer:

You done died.  You did.

The round up:

The formula on these was luxuriously silky and exquisite.  It was a legit Polish Mountain moment, except I had 7,397 other nail polishes staring back at me.  Ugh, responsibilities.

I did three coats on all except Irish I Had a Beer, which got two.  They were an absolute pleasure to apply, which is a full on NERD ALERT! at minimum, but also, I’M SERIOUS.  I could’ve sat there for days, and probably would have if hubby didn’t set a bag of Doritos in the other room.

Okay guys, the deets:

Set of six polishes:  $60 for full size or $45 for 8ml polish shots

Single bottles:  $11 for full size or $8 for 8ml polish shots

Everything is available now, so click here for shopping!  It’s the most logical next step.

And now, the linky loos.  Connect with Top Shelf Lacquer:

Instagram

Facebook

Fan Group

Thanks for stopping by, everyone!  I know it wasn’t my normal chatty style, but I hope you liked it anyway.  I mean, there was pretty polish in here, and that’s the whole point of this blog anyway.  The fact we talk about how often I am pants-less is just a bonus.  However, as soon as I get caught up, I’ll be back to normal and most likely annoying the shit out of everyone.  YOU CAN’T WAIT!

Later, loves!

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The Holo Hookup: August 2017 – Enchanted Forest

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Pressure’s on, guys.  I’ve been staring at an empty screen for the past 17 years, and now a deadline is officially lurking.  I swear, if the distractions don’t stop, stupid things are gonna come out just so I can post a blog on time.  I’ve shut myself in this bedroom so I can concentrate, but hubby just burst in dragging a string behind him with a cat attached to the end of it.  And then he tossed me a bag of potato chips and so I lost consciousness there for a second.  Now after a rousing bout of cardio trying to get a fly out of the room, I realize I’ve been writing this same paragraph for the last four hours, and OMG I need the hives cream, stat.  Blogging is hard, you guys.  SO. HARD.

Okay, now FOCUS.  Pretty things are coming.  My second round of reviewing for the Holo Hookup box is here, and I’m feeling quite overachieve-y at the moment.  They’ve kept me on, guys; I wooed ’em good!  Apparently this blog full of nonsense is appreciated by at least one person, and trust me, that is EVERYTHING.  Cuz I don’t give carpal tunnel to myself for funsies, I’m at least 23% sure of it.

Anyway, let me show you what’s coming up for August. An insane amount of holo headed your way in 3 … 2 … 1 …

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Still upright?  Just checking.

So this month’s theme is Enchanted Forest, and just by the name alone, y’all know you want approximately 18,000 boxes.  Cuz there’s magical things in an Enchanted Forest:  fairies and unicorns and Prince Charmings mid-rescue.  Old wizards with long beards, probably full of glitter and cute baby field mice wearing little britches. Possibly also some Dorito crumbs.  And a couple of talking trees with branches that will push people off their horses, you know, to keep things interesting.

Here’s the inspiration photo:

Yep, magical, at minimum.

Trying to not get too chatty in here, as I need to get this posted sometime before 2037.  A polish emergency is among us and for some reason, the blog don’t write itself.  So let’s get into the goodies, yes?  YES.

This month’s featured brand is the amazing Lindsey with Tonic Polish, which means the Holo Hookup is about to break some kinda sales record, I’m quite certain.  If y’all know even a smidge of the magic that is Tonic Polish, it’s about to get all sorts of elbow jabby in here real quick.  A bonafide frenzy, is what I mean.

But since we need to maintain a semblance of a classy lady, guests shall go first.  Cuz in about 2.5 seconds, ladylike composure is going out the window anyway.  Here is what Lindsey made for us.  Presenting, Dryad’s Grove:

DESCRIPTION:  A mysterious forest green holographic with an inner maroon to gold shifting shimmer and tiny ultra holo microglitter sparks

COATS:  Three just to deepen color, but two was just fine

Well, lordt.  Green just happened, and already the jaws are dropping.  I mean, just look at it.  LOOK. AT. IT.  Seriously, if you came here for some peace and quiet and a rational behavior EXTRAVAGANZA!, ohhhhh how WRONG you must be feeling right now.  

Under the lamps:

Now macros:

Holo holo everywhere, and in the cart she goes!  Weeeee!

Some nail art I did:

Pretty basic stamping using the Uber Chic Beauty Vacation Mode plate.  I don’t hate it, but the kudos and accolades are taking their damn sweet time.  People, it gets worse.  We’ve been here before.

Next up is the offering from Glisten & Glow – here’s Fairy’s Frost:

DESCRIPTION:  A silver linear holographic with golden green shimmer, like twinkling lights reflecting off fairy wings

COATS:  Two, smooth and blingy

GAH!  What are words?  What is breathing?  Excuse me while I attempt to get control of my brain.

Under the lamps:

It’s holo-y to the trillionth degree.  Cue the drool buckets!

An accidental painting of all the surfaces is next, and no one is surprised.

Not hideous nail art:

Some more easy stamping using the What’s Up Nails B018 plate.  I do love the contrast between the black and the bling, though, so I’ll take half a horn toot, you know, if y’all not busy.

Now here’s Field of Flowers from Cupcake Polish:

DESCRIPTION:  A lavender super holographic with blue shimmer

COATS:  Three, but two was fine; just deeping the color, don’t mind me!

And just like that, I am an 8-year-old child in a room full of office supplies.  Cuz DREAM SCENARIO, is what I mean.  If Leonardo walked in handing me a Starbucks, well, that sounds about right.

Under the lamps:

More macros to aid the convincing:

FIIIIINE.  We’ll take a billion bottles.  Cuz now is not the time to act normal.

Finally, a skosh of mojo:

Very simple stamping using the Uber Chic Beauty 16-03 plate, but I love this image so much.  Quick and effortless, but so much pretty.  And, well, you had me at effortless.

Lastly, here’s Enchant-Mint from Different Dimension:

DESCRIPTION:  A misty light mint holographic with added shimmers and holographic microglitters

COATS:  Again with three, but two was fine

Well, let’s end this thing on an exclamation point, then.  How glorious is this one?  (Very.)  It’s on the blue side of mint, super delicate, elegant and Queen of England-approved.  Who’s about to hold a bunch of tiny little teacups?  (You, to be clear.  Cuz sometimes fancy lady happens whether you like it or not.)

More shots in case you’re on the fence:

Cuz the fence is no place for a lady.

And right on cue, it’s bye bye mojo:

Meh.  It’s not the worst, but the stamping was much more subtle than I expected.  Used the new Lina Let’s Doodle 01 plate, though, which has lots of cool images on it.  Sadly, though, I do nail art with my eyes closed.  Bah.

And now, some bonus points.  Nail art using all four polishes!

A striping tape EXTRAVAGANZA! And I stinkin’ love it.  Figures.  It took all of 30 seconds and barely any brain.

And then a random burst of energy just came out of nowhere:


I dry brushed, guys!  And made a THING.  Like, actual kudos and accolades might come this time.  FINALLY.  Toot toot!

The round up:

Pre-order for this box starts on July 21 at 9pm EST and will run thru July 28 at 9pm EST.  Which means, you have just ONE WEEK to get your life together before the polish goes away forever.  Are you properly panicked?  Well, you should be.

Cost is $40 and shipping will begin August 12th or so.  Click here for shopping! (Well, not right now.  The 21st.  As in Friday.  We’ve been over this already.)

And now, some linky loos:

Holo Hookup Instagram

Holo Hookup Facebook Fan Group

And now we are done!  The game plan is set.  And 17 alarms, at minimum.  Cuz no one does Crazy Nail Lady quite like you.

Later, loves!

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Anchor & Heart Lacquer: Message in a Bottle Series – June July August

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I am an impulse buyer.  I rarely get anything on sale cuz I want what I want when I want it.  Waiting until it goes out of season so I can buy it at a discount is like telling me Leonardo is coming and then forcing me not to run and grab the wedding dress.  Seriously, who has that much control over their bodies?  I mean, I once went to Jamaica and came home with a suitcase full of Rasta man pencil toppers and I don’t even know how that happened.  The lure is too strong, and my brain just goes away somewhere.  Cuz I don’t even use pencils, much less need 18,297 eraser hats with little dreadlocks on them.

Something just comes over you.  About 5 years ago, I walked into a dealership out of curiosity and accidentally bought a car.  Like, I wasn’t even trying to, but things just spiraled out of control. It was chaos on the level of little 9-year-old me outside in the backyard saying cuss words to myself:  a bit exhilarating, a bit naughty, a bit like freedom.  Driving away that night in my brand new car, I asked myself “Does this thing even have cruise control?” cuz I honestly, LITERALLY, didn’t even know.  And – surprise, surprise! – it DIDN’T have cruise control and I had to drive around in it for the next two years with my foot on the gas pedal like a crazy person.  Ugh.

Good thing nail polish isn’t a problem.  RIGHT?  Right.

Some super pretty beauties from Anchor & Heart Lacquer are up on the blog for you today.  The latest installments of Taryn’s monthly Message in a Bottle series have arrived, so let’s take a look at June, July and August.  See below!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Gah!  Taryn, look what you made!  A sparkly, holo-y, tongue lolling EXTRAVAGANZA!

FIIIIINE.  We’ll take a billion.

The Message in a Bottle series is a set of monthly polishes each named after an empowering message of love, confidence and self acceptance for all women.  It’s such a fabulous idea, and one well worth supporting.  Cuz who couldn’t use something kind and uplifting and nail polish-y from time to time?  EVERY DADGUM ONE OF US, that’s who.

First up for the month of June, here is Say Yes to You:

DESCRIPTION: A lavender holographic with soft blue shimmer, purple microflakies and silver microglitter

COATS:  Two, nice and smooth

Look, jaws are dropping everywhere!  You think it’s just a purple, but NOT EVEN CLOSE.  It’s a purple with it’s jazz hands on, and you want it on all your surfaces.   (Completely logical reaction, just so you know.)

But check out this macro:

Brain’s already stopped holding my mouth closed.  I’ll be a damn mess by the time we get to the bottom, I swear it.

One more for funsies:

Holo (dead).  Flakies (more dead).  How the rest of this blog is getting done, we will never know.

Next up for the month of July, here is Stronger Than Yesterday:

DESCRIPTION:  A dark grey, almost black holographic with holo microflakies and strong blue shimmer

COATS:  Two, also very smooth.  Magical.

If you like dark polishes, this one has your name alllll over it.  (Seriously, I checked.)  And then you go tossing in a blue shimmer like no big deal, and suddenly wallets are flying out of purses everywhere.

An insane display of pretty:

Yep.  We’re all about to spend some money today, I just know it.

Lastly, for the month of August, here’s Sparkle On, Darling:

DESCRIPTION:  A murky teal jelly with iridescent glitter and flakies, magenta micro flakies and UCC flakies in various colors

COATS:  Three, a bit sheer on the first but builds nicely

And now, my faaaaaavorite. The glitter got me, guys. They got me real good.  Ladylike composure = officially out the dadgum window.  It’s a real epidemic over here.  No cure.

Oh well. Here’s some macros for extra drooling:

And 1,000 buckets later, we are all big puddles of goo.  Weeeee!

The round up:

There are 8 polishes in the series so far and all are available now.  Price for these three is $11 each, but a few of the older ones are $10.  Might as well go start yourself a collection then, so all 8 in your shopping cart sounds like the least you can do.  Plus 27 backup bottles, for safety.  I mean, you don’t get to Crazy Nail Lady by being rational.  Click here for shopping!

And now, the linky loos!  Connect to Anchor & Heart:

Instagram

Facebook 

Fan Group

A basket full of kitties, just because.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Fair Maiden Polish: Summer 2017 Collection 

Standard

 A list of achievements, circa 1980s:

1.  Super good at fashion.  I mean, I had my initials on my eyeglasses cuz nothing gets more fancy than having enough room on your lenses to place a DADGUM STICKER.  Take that, add an extraordinary amount of flowered corduroys, and seriously guys:  if Vogue had called next, no one would be surprised.

2.  Super good at spelling.  Although I don’t really know where that’s gotten me in life other than being super annoying to everyone who doesn’t know the word orchestra has an “h” in it.

3.  Super good at sports.

Bahahahahahaha.  Just kidding.  Although I did get in a hair pulling fight with a friend outside of the library.

OMG, I’m the coolest person on the planet. 

4.  Super good at life.  Not only did I hopscotch on cow patties cuz no one told me they were made of poop, but I also thought condoms went on girls until like the 10th grade. I’m not even gonna pretend that’s normal.

Ugh. 

Good thing I’ve got this nail polish thing on lock! Fair Maiden Polish sent me their awesome new summer collection to review for you today, all inspired by fun songs from the 1980s. For real, if these beauties don’t bring back memories of you in your bedroom, singing into your hairbrush, well clearly you are a robot. Take a look!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Oooooh!  You’re buying ALLLLL these!

The ladies from Fair Maiden Polish, Sarah and Adrienne, are both girls from the 80s and grew up loving the songs that served as inspiration for this collection.  ME TOO!  I think the 80s is the best decade for music.  I had a huge collection of records that ranged from Oh, Mickey to Billie Jean all the way to the Beastie Boys one I wore around my ponytail but somehow did not start a new trend exploding throughout the middle school.  Although WHY?!?! is the actual question.

First up is Sunglasses at Night:

DESCRIPTION:  A dark blurple holographic with navy flame and holo sparkles

COATS:  Two

Inspired by the August 1984 song by Corey Hart and IT. IS. STUNNING.  A perfect night sky of a polish.  We lub it lots, oh yes we do.

Here’s a shot under the lamps, just in time for the Drool Convention:

Next up is Caribbean Queen:

DESCRIPTION:  An ocean blue with aqua shimmer, subtle shift to purple in certain lighting and holo sparkles

COATS:  Two

Inspired by the August 1984 song by Billy Ocean.  I want to swim in a bathtub full of this one.  So shimmery, so glowy, so super pass-out-y.  Might need your smelling salts, let’s just say.

Now here’s Cruel Summer:

DESCRIPTION:  A juicy neon melon with purple shimmer

COATS:  Three

Inspired by the June 1983 song by Bananarama.  And she’s a hot little mama!  However, the correct color on this one was so hard to capture.  It’s both an orange tone AND a pink tone depending on your lighting, and I swear I about got the hives trying to get these pictures just right.   But if you’re looking for an insane display of effort, well by all means:  SCROLL.

Outside shot shows more of its pink side:

And here’s that shy purple shimmer:

Next is Heaven is a Place on Earth:

DESCRIPTION:  A shifting gold to rose holographic with holo sparkles

COATS:  Two

Inspired by the September 1987 Belinda Carlisle song, and so now we’re all just puddles of goo at this point.  Cuz you can’t be gold and pink and shifty and shimmery, and somehow expect me to remain normal and upright. I mean, when you ask for a non-fat, no-whip Starbucks but accidentally get full-fat, does that mean it doesn’t have any calories simply because you ordered it that way? Well, OF COURSE IT DOES. But I think you see my point. In other words, I want a Starbucks.

OMG, what?  Shut up, Brain.

And now, a holo EXTRAVAGANZA!:

Mood lighting.  Phwoar!

Lastly, here’s Karma Chameleon:

DESCRIPTION:  A light violet purple to mint green thermal with strong red shimmer, holo sparkles, and red/purple/blue/green chameleon flakies

COATS:  Two

Inspired by the September 1983 song by the Culture Club.  And naturally, this polish had to be a color changer (cuz CHAMELEON) and use chameleon flakies (also cuz CHAMELEON).  In other words, NAILED IT doesn’t even begin to describe this scenario.

Full view of the warm state:

Full view of the cool state:

That’s two extra efforts, in case you don’t math well.  If an award is coming, that sounds about right.

The round up:

This collection is available now, so get on it, boo boos!  Cuz if you’re getting out of this blog without all five in your basket, well, I can only imagine how WRONG you must feel. So ENTIRE Summer 2017 Collection it is then! Congratulations on your very good decision.  Some deets:

Full collection retails for $48

For single bottles (although this point is moot), Cruel Summer and Sunglasses at Night retail for $10; all others are $11

Click here for shopping!

Okay, gang, we’re done for now!  Thank you for always reading all the way to the bottom.  Internet high fives for everyone!  (Or pajamas, if you’re me.)

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •