Oh, just sitting here with the cat at 2 in the morning eating Doritos cuz CLEARLY we know how to party. Seriously guys, first Spelling Bee Champion of 1987 and now THIS. Why I’m not married to Leonardo DiCaprio at this point defies alllll the comprehensions.

So, seeing as the Polish Pickup is practically over, I figure now’s a good time to write a blog about it. Best blogger ever, y’all! Never forget. Ugh. However, I’m gonna try to make this review short and sweet in an effort to be somewhat professional. And then spend the next 17 paragraphs discussing how I’m gonna make a review short and sweet, thereby defeating the purpose about ONE BILLION PERCENT. Again, BEST BLOGGER EVER, just so we’re clear.

Let’s move on, shall we? You know, before more stupid things come out. I have the Fair Maiden Polish contribution to the Polish Pickup to show you, and I swear y’all are about to get suuuuper unattractive in about 2.5 seconds. Cuz there’s shimmer and flakies and noodle legs GALORE! Take a look:

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Welp, let’s go ahead and get the smiling like an idiot part out of the way first, then. Perhaps y’all need to go off by yourself for a second, lest someone walk in on you while you’ve got your eyes closed, looking stupid.

Once again, the theme for October is Monsters & Mythical Creatures, and Sarah and Adrienne were inspired by the movie of my childhood, The NeverEnding Story. Seriously, I wanted to be that Empress. She was beautiful and angelic and the complete opposite of 9-year-old me with a face full of eyeglasses.

Here’s the pic:

Now here’s the polish:

LUCK DRAGON

Basically twins! But did we expect anything less from the Fair Maiden ladies? NO WE DID NOT.

DESCRIPTION: A white crelly with intense blue shifting shimmer that hints at violet and red in certain lights; finished with purple/blue multichrome flakies and a dusting of scattered holo sparkle throughout

OPACITY: Three coats, but two was pretty good

GUYS. This is one of the prettiest polishes you’ll ever lay your eyes on. It literally just glows on the nail. An eye-catcher, a dream-come-true-er. You’re gonna need like 27 bottles, but then again, you already know.

More pics, for extra convincing:

Gah! The flakies got me, guys. They got me good.

The Polish Pickup sale is open NOW and will stay open all the way thru Monday, October 9. Cost varies between makers, but Fair Maiden’s polish retails for $11. Shipping is a flat $3 no matter how much you buy. However, I recommend all of them because no one does Crazy Nail Lady quite like you. Get on it, boo boos!

For more information on the sale and how it works, click here for the FAQs. Cuz I’ve blogged like 7,397 days in a row and the carpal tunnel is so dire.

Now click here for shopping. I mean, what else is more important for you to do today? (NOTHING, in case you’re curious.)

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •