Speed blog alert!  It’s well after midnight, and I can’t think of a more perfect time to sit down and not be sleeping like a normal person.  In my defense, I’ve written a pretty strict schedule for myself this week, and DAY ONE I’ve already failed.  So in an effort to make amends, here I am – blogging like a dadgum professional.  With one eye napping and the other watching Full House, but still.  Worth half a horn toot?  I say YES.

Ugh.  Stupid things are gonna come out, I just know it.

Let’s jump into some nail polish!  Sarah and Adrienne, the two lovelies behind Fair Maiden Polish, sent me their new Twisted Fairytales collection to share with you today.  And trust me, guys: YOU. WILL. LOVE. Grab some smelling salts and go lock yourself in a room alone – you’re about to get suuuuuuuuper unattractive in about 2.5 seconds. Take a look:

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Told ya.  A noodle leg epidemic is lurking, just so you know.

For fall, Fair Maiden decided to go dark and sexy, and although I was expecting something a little more Leonardo-y, these are  okay too.  Cuz anything that makes my sad, white sausages looks less sad and sausage-y, I want at least a billion.  Who’s in the mood for a whoooooole lotta rational behavior?  NOT THIS LADY!  Here’s your (quick) rundown of colors:

POISON APPLE 

DESCRIPTION:  An ultra deep wine red with ruby shimmer and subtle scattered holo

OPACITY:  Two coats plus top coat.  Smooth application.  Drooling extra.

SPELLBOUND 

DESCRIPTION:  A magenta multichrome that shifts from fiery copper/red/blue/green/violet with holographic sparkle

OPACITY:  Two coats plus top coat.  Formula is a bit thicker than the others, but it was easily managed.  And the shift?  LEGIT.

FALLEN KINGDOM 

DESCRIPTION:  A lavender-grey multichrome that shifts gold/red/violet with holographic sparkle

OPACITY:  Two coats plus top coat.  Another effortless beauty!  And, well, you had me at effortless.

INTO THE WOODS 

DESCRIPTION:  A deepened brown-toned multichrome that shifts olive/gold/orange/magenta with holographic sparkle 

OPACITY:  Two coats plus top coat, with happiness and Starbucks on top.  Probably.

IMMORTAL TRYST 

DESCRIPTION:  An intense teal blue with green chroma shift, hints of purple and subtle scattered holo

OPACITY:  Two coats plus top coat and a billion percent beautiful

And not surprising, this one is my faaaavorite.  Cuz where there is green there is me loving it in a smother-y stalker-y kinda way.

UPON YOUR THRONE 

DESCRIPTION:  A delicate warm peach made entirely of microflake and gold holographic pigment

OPACITY:  Three coats plus top coat

This one I loved even though it isn’t a dark polish by any means.  But the gold shimmer looks suuuuper fancy on the nail and causes involuntary HAND MODEL! scenarios if I’m not mistaken.

THE ROUND UP 

Still upright?  Just checking.

This collection was going to debut at Polish Con, but unfortunately Fair Maiden was unable to attend.  So now it’s up for pre-order this week instead.  Here’s the deets:

Full set retails for $63/full or $38/mini

Single bottle pricing:  Poison Apple, Fallen Kingdom, and Upon Your Throne is $11; the rest are $12

Annnnnd THEN!  There’s coupons:

All US and Canada orders over $50 will get free shipping – no code needed!

If you’re international, use code INT5SHIP for $5 off

Finally, if you attended Polish Con, Fair Maiden wants to send you their Polish Con exclusive shade, Room 13, for FREE with any purchase.  Just email a picture of yourself at the Con or a copy of your ticket to fairmaidenpolish@gmail.com and reference your order number.  Only good for orders placed 9/23 – 9/30.

Pre-order ends September 30 at 11:59pm CST, which means a bonafide POLISH EMERGENCY is among us and you have 5 days to respond accordingly.  Get on it boo boos!

Where to buy:  http://fairmaidenpolish.com/

And now, the linky loos!  Connect with Fair Maiden Polish:

Instagram

Facebook

Fan Group

Thanks for hanging in here with me while I try to write a blog without writing a blog all because I couldn’t manage to get off the couch long enough today to do it proper.  It’s hard to just give you a description and show you pictures and then move on to the next one like I ain’t a big drool-y mess and this is all NO BIG DEAL. Cuz it IS a big deal to the trillionth degree, and if we’re buying 18,000 bottles, well that makes the most sense.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •