Tag Archives: Nail Art

Apr3

Different Dimension: The Best Mum and I See the Light Trios (plus bonuses!)

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When your mom has a birthday party and asks you to make her a bag of frozen corn, you put away your truffle oil and big bag of chef tricks and then just make her a bag of frozen corn.  Cuz she is queen for the day, and we shall treat her as such.

I get it though. Not everyone wants a 17 course meal with food names in foreign languages.  I mean, even my husband the chef just wants a corn dog sometimes.  OR! a big bowl of mashed potatoes, some stretchy pants and a room to be alone in.  But maybe that’s just me.  Although honestly, my ecstasy face does need a bit of privacy lest divorce is also on the menu.  Cuz there’s not much sexy to go around with one eyeball rolled back in your head and a gaping mouth full of potato.  Or so says society.

However, despite the corn, the party was still nice.  Well, except for two things:

1. Mom can’t stop running marathons.  The woman turns 60 and you’d think she’d like to start sitting down now.  Put on some pajamas, maybe.  She was 24 hours post-run, looking like a perky ray of sunshine.  STOP IT MOM.  Stop making me look bad.  Cuz Lazy, Level EXPERT is as high as this thing goes.

2. There was a gift giving contest that I was unaware of but somehow participated in.  And apparently my gift of a wad of cash just handed over was at the very bottom.  Blahhh.  Listen, I am quite aware of how un-clever I am with gifts.  The hives they are a-lurking and I stress about it for eons, then I panic and grab a popcorn maker and a 2-pack of sock boots on my way out the door.  So considering all that, I’d say a nice, safe wad of cash is about the best outcome in this little scenario.  At this point, if mom isn’t tossing a few happy tears my way, I am var var concerned about her brain.

While mom reconsiders the level of her love, let’s talk polish!  I have some goodies from Missi at Different Dimension to show off for you today.  First time on the blog, y’all!  Feeling awfully fancy right about now.  There are two new trios plus a couple of April special releases to discuss.  Lots to do, lots to see (and money to spend) so excitement starts NOW.

One of the trios is called The Best Mum.  Take a look:

This trio is inspired by gorgeous springtime blooms and is the perfect ode to all the mommies.  And in case you get an attack of the day sweats when it comes to all gift giving situations like I do, here, I fixed Mother’s Day for you.  Best blogger ever, is what you’re thinking.

First up is You Lilac You Could Use a Break:

This one is a delicate lilac creme loaded with a ton of golden shimmer with a pile of happiness and joy on the side.  It’s just one of the best spring colors you’ll find, and that golden glow is over the top pretty.  I just want to squeeeeee! while looking at it.  At any moment, I expect a surprise Leonardo sighting, cuz that’s just how good our day is going.  Best day EVER I’m pretty sure.

Closer look at that shimmer action:

See?  Who wants to lick that one just a bit?  All of us little weirdos, no doubt.

Some mediocre nail art:

So naturally I took this lovely little manicure, and did something hideous to it.  Ugh.  In my mind though, this looked fabulous.  I was gonna make a Mother’s Day bouquet right on mah nails!  Clearly, I gave up too soon.  I am not good at goals, let’s just say.

Used the new Uber Chic Beauty Mother’s Day plate, though, and it’s a good one.

Next up is Peony For Your Thoughts:

Okay, this is next level gorgeous.  Like, before I was just doing that smiling to myself with my eyes closed thing – you know, the one where I look like a complete idiot but still kind of normal – but now it’s official drool bucket season, and it’s about to get suuuuuuuper unattractive in here. Gah!  Hubby, look away!  I’m warning you now.

This one is a fresh peach creme loaded with those same golden shimmers.  Buy this one.  I’m serious.

More nail art:

Maybe only half a notch better.  Sorry, guys.  I tried, but then stamp all the things took over, and before I knew it there was chaos and it was EVERYWHERE.  Is your OCD twitching?  Yep, mine too.

Used both the Uber Chic Beauty 15-02 and 15-03 plates for this “design” in case you’re curious.  (You’re not.  We’re moving on.)

Lastly, here’s That’s Ranunculus:

Well, you’d knew there’d have to be a pink one, didn’t you?  Of course you did!  Pink is a necessity when it comes to spring. And this one is very dainty. You can practically hear it begging for a cappuccino in a tiny cup.  And possibly a sandwich.  Is the Queen handy?  We’re gonna need her too.  Cuz there’s a tea party about to happen, I just know it.

Last of the nail art:

This one is better.  Don’t ask why my brain said BLUE ROSES! like it made sense or something.  But it’s not an ugly mani.  I’m gonna take this brief moment of mojo and freaking RUN.  Cuz the nail fails are lurking, they are always always lurking.  

Used the rose layered image from the Uber Chic Beauty 12-03 plate in case recreations are in order.  And kudos and accolades, you know, if you’re not busy.

The formula on these three polishes are very consistent across the board.  They are slightly thicker than average due to the shimmer load, so you may need to add some thinner to help it along.  Ordering details will be at the bottom, so hang tight!

The next release is the I See the Light Trio, a set of three gorgeous holographic polishes.  These are legit stunning, with special illuminating shimmers for an amazing glowing effect.  Here’s proof:

Do you hear angels?   Cuz I hear angels.

These three beauties are all very similar; the only difference is the color of shimmer.  I’m going to show you all three shades at once, then we’ll talk.  Lessss go!

Here is Apparition:

This one has holographic microflakies and turquoise shimmer.  It’s very evident in the glare.

Time for macros!

OMG, I peed a little.  Seriously, you guys.  If you haven’t drooled in a thousand buckets at this point, well you are WRONG.  Or you have no eyes.  I dunno.

Next one is Ethereal:

This one has those same holographic microflakies plus copper shimmer.  It is very hard to stay upright at the moment.  The amount of perseverence happening over here is downright superhuman.

A macro EXTRAVAGANZA!

Mercy, I’m sweaty.

Lastly, here’s Rapturous:

Aside from those holographic microflakies we are now officially hardcore in love with, this one has purple shimmer.  Dreamy, simply put.

An insane display of pretty:

Welp, you want all those now don’t you?  (You do.)  The formula is consistent on these three as well.  Very easy and smooth to apply.  Two, possibly three coats.  Lays flat and dries relatively fast.  One coat of top coat, and holy moly you’re a fancy lady!  Definitely don’t miss these.  DON’T DO IT.  I mean it.  Ordering details at the bottom.

Lastly, we have two special releases for the month of April:

Seriously, who’s got too much time on their hands?  Fun with fonts!  With jazz hands.  I make collages like someone is paying me. They’re not, although WHY? is the actual question.

First up is B(earth)day 2017:

Missi’s birthday is April 22, which also happens to be Earth Day, so now we have TWO reasons to celebrate in case you need an excuse to have a wine cooler on a Monday.  

So this one is a steel blue linear holo with added silver holo microglitters.  All my blue lovers just died a little, I’m pretty sure.  Cuz it’s blingy and holo-y and a two coat dreamboat.  Honestly, what more do you need?  Well, besides pajamas and a nap with a Starbucks on top.  

Under the lamps for funsies:

My eyes, my eyes!  You need to buy one bottle of this then 27 backup bottles in case of an accidental painting of all the surfaces.

Finally, here’s Every Piece Belongs:

Since April is Autism Awareness Month, Missi wanted to create a polish to help raise money for the cause.  Fifty percent of the proceeds of this limited edition polish will benefit the Autism Society of Indiana, which means you can get a pretty polish and donate to charity with the push of one tiny button.  So get your shopping hand ready, cuz you’re adding to cart in about 2.5 seconds.  

This adorable polish is a unique baby blue creme loaded with these gorgeous contrasting shimmers.  It’s quite elegant, and looks fabulous on the nail.  And in case you want to scare the shit out of yourself wondering whose hands are on you at 2 in the morning, it also glows in the dark.

Fun!  I’ve never used a glow in the dark polish before, and I’m not saying I sat in the closet for half an hour doing the sign language alphabet,  but then again, of course I did.

The round up:

The two trios just released April 1 and are still available at the time of this writing.  You can purchase the full set of three or just single bottles, although every bit of this is going in the basket so that point is moot.  Here’s the deets:

The Best Mum Mother’s Day Trio is $25 or $8.75 each

I See the Light Trio is $32 or $12 each

As for the April special edition polishes, they will only be available until April 30 so it’s basically a polish emergency.  The clock is ticking, and if you’re not properly panicked, well then something is wrong with your brain.  They are $10 each just so you know.

Click here for shopping!

That’s it guys.  Thank you for reading all the way to the bottom.  I know you might’ve had other things to do – maybe groceries or dishes or life in general – so I appreciate you making a bit of room for me.  Y’all make writing these 18-hour-long posts so very very worth it.  Off to do nails so this blog can happen again tomorrow.

Later, loves!

Mar30

Noodles Nail Polish: Spring 2017 Collection 

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Hubby and I shouldn’t have discussions after 11pm cuz that’s when the stupid things start to come out.  I mean, when you have one eye closed and a brain half asleep, you really have no business talking at all.  Or else you might make a decision on things you weren’t ready to commit to.  Cuz apparently now if I ever have to get false teeth I’m not allowed to take them out and gum on things in front of the hubs or else he’ll refuse to love me.  Well how ZERO FUN is that?  I imagine the only bright side to false teeth would be the gumming.  Oh! and putting them in a glass by the sink right next to his toothbrush.

So not even sure why this is even a thing now, but since it’s out in the open, I’m gonna go ahead and dissect it to death.  Cuz four years ago, right after the minister thought I was about to marry my brother (we bought the cheap wedding, clearly) my husband promised to God and a room full of other people that he’d be there for me in sickness and in health.   So as soon as he shows me where the false teeth disclaimer is, I’m going to hold him to every word of it.  Sorry.  God is watching.

Not that I want to gum things in public or anything, but false teeth does run in the family.  Considering how lucky I am in all things life-related, prettttttty sure I’ll suffer the same fate.  Or actually hubby will be the one to suffer, as there’s not much sexy to go around when your teeth are in a completely different room as you.

Which brings me to the point for this entire conversation:  I’m going to the dentist today to get a cavity filled, which – as an adult – should be outlawed.  I get cavities at least once a year, so the probability for false teeth is lurking.  And if that’s the reward I get for going to the dentist every six months like you’d expect from the 1987 Spelling Bee Champion – well then maybe I should’ve drank more than one wine cooler in high school.  Cuz apparently following rules gets you nowhere.

So while I sit here having anxiety and sweating like a lady, let’s talk nail polish.  Natalie with Noodles Nail Polish sent me her Spring 2017 Collection to share with you today, six polishes full of sunshine and happiness.  Ready to go?  Well then lessss go!

Welp, we want all those, now don’t we?  Cuz they just scream spring, and who couldn’t use a dose of spring in their life?  That’s right – just the crazy ones.  My grass is already turning a brilliant shade of green, and I am beside myself with joy.  Goodbye dead winter self! I’m about *thisclose* to putting pants on, so you know I’m serious.

First up is Petals & Peonies:

It pays to be prepared in life sometimes.  Like, by wearing stretchy pants before cheesecake, or perhaps there’s a wedding dress in your car in case of a surprise Leonardo sighting.  And one day the Queen of England might need you to bring her a sandwich, so you’re buying this nail polish just to be safe.  Cuz while you’re probably not wearing pantyhose or one of those hats with the feathers in it, at least you know your nails look good. That’s half your fashion logistics right there. 

So this one has a pale pink crelly base and it’s loaded with pastel, silver and gold glitters, gold shimmer and silver flakies.  Goes on smooth even with all the goodies, and now you are ready to hold a thousand tiny cups, at the minimum.  Tea with the Queen: BRING IT. 

Time for macros!

Gah, so pretty. 

Next up is Metamorphosis:

Okay, it’s just way too early for this.  We barely got started and already my brain has stopped holding my mouth closed.  Can you imagine how unattractive I’m about to get?  Like, false teeth is one thing but lolling tongues and drool buckets is another thing altogether.  Seriously, I’m locking this bedroom door lest hubby comes in here to divorce me. 

This one is a steely blue green holo with copper shimmer and soft pinkish/red shift, and it will absolutely knock your socks off.  You got shit to do and only one coat of polish to spare?  Here ya go then, your dreamboat in a bottle.  Now you’ve got pretty nails AND time to spare to go be Mom of the Year or whatever it is all you normal people get accomplished on a daily basis.  It’s a sad state of affairs over at my house, what with all the pajamas and the lounging.

Put this hot mama under the lamps for a minute:

Do you hear angels? I hear angels.  You’re officially buying one bottle of this, and then 27 back up bottles.  To start.

Grab your smelling salts, stat!   Now you may scroll:

Some nail art I did:

I mean, not gonna win any awards or anything, but it’s not the worst I’ve ever done.  Cuz I invented the Meth Owl, and certainly not on purpose.  

Now here’s Blue Skies:

My absolute favorite of the bunch. It’s glorious and stunning and about 2.5 seconds away from an accidental painting of all the surfaces.  Clearly, an extra bit of supervision is in order.  SEND HELP.  And a Starbucks, just in case.

So this one is a light blue crelly with silver flakies, white microflakies and soft scattered holo.  WHITE microflakies?!  I know!  And now were all having the best day EVER.  Cuz flakies make everything better.  And prettier and skinnier too, prolly.

More macros, more drool:

You done died.  You did.

This one is called Rise & Shine:

My eyes, my eyes!  Holy moly guys.  A ridiculous display of sparkle, in case you’re due for one.

This one is a full coverage glitter mix of gold, pink, aqua, purple, silver metallic and holo.  It can be a used as a topper if you  apply it very thinly, but honestly, why you being hayve on a Thursday?  Let’s just lose allllll the control on this cuz that’s the only logical thing I can think of.  I did two brushed-on coats and one dabbed coat for safety, and the pay out is for real LEGIT.   They’re party nails or nap nails depending on if you’re you or if you’re me.  Either way though:  you will lub them lots.

More macros, in case you wanna pass out for a second:

Okay, now that was nuts.

Scroll past this next part:

Y’all didn’t scroll.  Ugh.  What the hell is this then?  I don’t dislike it, but I dunno.  Did I nail fail like usual or am I just being too critical?  You tell me cuz my brain’s no longer working.

Used the Bump, Set, Spike vinyls from Polished Vino if any recreations are in order.  Bahaha.  Ugh.

Next up is Spring Fling:

Well, now how precious is this?  Someone on my Instagram commented that it looks like candy, and I’d have to agree on that a bit.  I could go for a lick of this one, for sure.  Probably tastes more poison-y than expected, but can’t say I’m not considering it.   Also, someone needs to save me from me.  It’s getting dire in here.

So this little princess is a creamy white crelly loaded with yellow, pink, purple, peach and blue glitters and fine pink holo shreds.  All of it, cutie pie.  Every single bit is full of joy.  Go ahead and smile with your eyes closed on this one.  But be by yourself cuz judgy eyes are everywhere.

Can’t stop, won’t stop:

Lastly, here’s Flutterby:

No sense in petering out here at the end.  Cuz a spring collection wouldn’t be proper without some purple in it.  Who just died a little bit then?  ME TOO!  This entire collection is crazy good.  You’re buying the whole thing, I’ve already decided.  And in case kudos and thanks are in order, I like gift cards. And Leonardo, if you’re not busy.

So this beauty is a soft lilac holo with more of those white microflakies we love to the point of speculation and a touch of purple shimmer.  Seriously, if you haven’t drooled in a thousand buckets at this point, I’m var var concerned about the state of your brain.  Maybe you don’t enjoy happiness. Or maybe you have no eyes.  Either way, medical intervention is in order.  

Final act of convincing:

And then some kinda cute nail art:

I’m proud of this one.  It’s not hideous!  Granted, I went a touch bananas on those purple studs, but for the most part I did a thing with a skosh of jazz hands instead of a thing with, like, sweatpants on per usual.

You should definitely recreate this one!  Used the Lina Feeling Shapely 08 plate and a tiny bit of magic.  

The round up:

GUYS.  Trust me when I tell you how hardcore you love these.  You do, I know it.  Cuz we don’t just walk away from a basketful of kittens NOR do we walk away from a Noodles Nail Polish collection.  Ever.  Write it down in case there’s a quiz.

This collection releases tomorrow, March 31 at 6pm EST.  Set 17 alarms and put Post-It Notes in all your hidey holes cuz there’s no way you’re getting there late like some kind of hobo.  No, you’re first in line cuz no one does crazy nail lady quite like you. Click here for shopping!

For now, I’m just gonna have a quick little panic over the dentist tomorrow.  Maybe google some side effects in case the Novocaine doesn’t wear off for the rest of my life.  You know, nothing unreasonable.

(PRAY FOR ME.)

Later, loves!

Feb23

Octopus Party Nail Lacquer: Spring 2017

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The hem came out of a pair of my pants the other day and so now I either have to staple them back together or throw them away.  Cuz the last time I went to a seamstress there were too many mirrors in there where I was forced to see my own butt, and I really don’t feel like crying again for the next 37 years.

In other words, my weight loss journey isn’t going so well.  As a matter of fact, it hasn’t even left the house yet.  Which makes sense considering I don’t go outside unless someone is paying me to do it.  Or if there is a threat of starvation, and even then I have to think about it first. I know all this inactivity isn’t healthy and I really try to make an effort.  I mean, I walked clear across to the other side of my office building the other day; worked up a sweat and everything.  Then I grabbed a coconut mocha latte and then walked all the way back to my desk.  BUT I DIDN’T BUY THE DONUT, which means I’m about to be skinny any day now, pretty sure.

Truth be told, I have lost a total of 3 pounds.  Although that number is fragile and threatened considering the bag of Cheetos that made its way into the shopping cart on Sunday.  Hubby and I determined we could eat one serving size of 21 Cheetos and still be okay, but I mean, who eats just 21 Cheetos?  If you are that person, you need to take that show on the road cuz your willpower is downright inspiring.  But also, I do not like you very much.  Soooo…

But back to my broken pants.  I’ve talked myself into it, and I think I’ll just go ahead and staple them back together.  I really like the pants – in fact, they’re one of my favorite pairs – and if I wanna spend thousands of dollars on bottles of nail polish but wear stapled pants like a damn hobo, well that seems logical to me.

Let’s look at pretty things!  My pal, Dave, from Octopus Party Nail Lacquer has some gorgeous spring polishes coming out that you’re just gonna die over.  Two are a general release and the other is for members of The Octosquad on Facebook.  You’re joining The Octosquad, by the way.   Read all the way to the bottom and you’ll see what I mean.  Lessss go!

You have no idea what these two are doing to me right now.  It’s about to get suuuuuuper unattractive in here, let’s just say.  I’m trying very hard to stay upright.  And drool and lolling tongues are not a good look for anyone.

So these two shades are for the general release, which means no effort is required, and I don’t know about you but my cat ears perked up immediately.  No effort?  Dave, you’re speaking my language.  Most likely it’s French and handing me a Starbucks. 

First up is Soft Swerve:

Mercy.

Periwinkle is back and this time she’s holo.  How delicately lovely is she?  The perfect polish in case you wanna hold tiny cups of tea or do a little hand modeling with a lacy napkin.  Most certainly it’s Queen of England-approved.  She’s quite proper with just a touch of flash and a light dusting of violet flakies and purple iridescent glitter.  Are you sticking your fingers in peoples’ faces saying LOOK AT MAH NAILS! then?  Well, probably.  But you’re also stroking the heads of newborns and passing laws through Parliament, cuz this polish is suitable for all that.

OMG, what just happened?  Shut up, Brain.

Of course there’s a macro:

While the flakies and glitters aren’t super sticky-out-y, they are definitely there and add a touch of something special to this delicious holo.  I lub it so much!

The other polish is just as gorgeous.  Here’s Maui Howie:

Kind of the opposite of that darling periwinkle, but every bit of stunning.  She’s warmer and more tropical, but also very much made for spring.  I was super excited to see this one in my swatch pack.  I live for shades like this.

So, let’s be clear:  anytime you describe your polish as a “hibiscus jelly” just know I might hurt someone a little just to get to it first.  Nothing serious, mind you, just enough so they know I mean business.  Maybe a tiny karate chop, or like a Black Friday-style elbow jab.  Either way, you’ll be busy sorting yourself out, and I’ll be that girl in the front row with her hand raised, answering all the questions, and being the smartest.  

Not only is it a beautiful coral color, but there’s holo, orange iridescent glitter and rose gold flakies in there too.  Just enough in case you wanna pass out for a second.

All the goodies, all up in yo face:

Now FOCUS!  This last polish is the one made exclusively for members of The Octosquad.  Here’s Octopus Prime:

If you haven’t already clicked on the link and joined the group, I am var var concerned about your brain.  You’re buying this; I’ve decided.  And when have you known me to make a bad decision?  Hammer pants and more than 21 pieces of Cheeto, notwithstanding.

So this one is an intentionally sheer turquoise jelly holo with blue/green flakies and green/orange and green/gold glitter.  Dave says you can apply this over a similar colored base to amplify the color, but I think it’s simply beautiful on its own.  I’ve done three coats here, and it appears opaque enough for me.  Maybe slight visible nail line, but if someone notices, I just hope to God you love them, cuz otherwise there may be a personal space situation that needs tended to.

Let’s seal the deal, shall we?

You are just a puddle on the floor now, right?  Yeah, me too.

I did some nail art with this one, and I kinda actually love it.  Look:

Cutie pie!  I thought the peach was a great compliment to the turquoise, and since it has somewhat of a beachy, Caribbean-esque feel to it, I did tropical flowers using the Lina 4 Seasons Summer 01 plate.  Do you adore it?  (Yes you do.)

The round up:

Presale for the two spring colors starts tomorrow, February 24 at 11am EST and will run until Sunday, February 26 at noon EST.  Click here for shopping!

As for Octopus Prime, it’s available only to members of the Facebook fan group, The Octosquad.  Click here to join and for information on how to snag this beauty.  Pre-sale dates will be March 3 through March 5 but times (as of now) haven’t been decided on yet. 

And as long as you’re in a clicking mood, here’s more links:

Octopus Party Nail Lacquer Instagram page – click here

My Instagram page – click here

Photos of kittens in baskets, just because – click here

Later, loves!

Feb22

 Glisten & Glow: Oh, The Places You’ll Go Collection (plus bonus!)

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Let’s just go back to being kids.  Here’s some good reasons:

1.  Other people can drive you places.  I mean, honestly, the whole novelty of driving wore off about the second time your mother sent you to the store for bread.  After that, driving just became a means to get yourself to places you don’t really wanna go.  Like school.  Work.  Or anywhere else that requires pants.

2.  You can walk into a room full of office supplies and not get the hives.  Instead of candy or paper dolls, I’d spend my allowance on phone message pads and Post-Its.  I’d play office for hours and paper was everywhere.  I had envelopes with matching stationary and 65 pen pals I got out of the back of a Tiger Beat magazine.  This was my happy place.

Fast forward 30 years, and it’s surprising how much my childhood office is nothing like my real office.  Cuz there’s other people there, and they all ask you to do things.  Like correctly and on time.  Sure, the room is full of office supplies, but sadly it’s not the same thing.

3.  Playing dress up with imaginary babies is less creepy when you’re 9.  If you need further explanation on this one, I am var var concerned about the state of your brain.

4.  Snow days were actually a good thing.  Now they’re just an anxiety attack waiting to happen.  Cuz just because it snowed doesn’t mean you still don’t have shit to do.  Someone’s gotta make the spreadsheets, and most likely it’s me.  And chances are there’s no food in the fridge or gas in the car cuz that’s how my life works.  This is directly related to reason number one cuz where’s a mom with a car to come pick you up when you need one?

5.  Slumber parties.  These were the best.  Well, except for the one where Stacy and Juanita put mustard between Kathy’s toes because she fell asleep first and I sat over on the stairs and cried.  Or the one where my best friend peed in the bed right next to me, and I didn’t realize I was laying in it until the next morning.  And the time where I discovered my first cow patty on my friend, Kelly’s, farm and I gleefully hopped from one to the other cuz no one told me it was poop.  Besides those three times, though, slumber parties were …

A horrible example.  Never mind.

But honestly, being a kid was just so much easier.  When being lazy was your default since you literally couldn’t do things on your own.  Back when shaving your legs could still be a choice.  And you could watch the Miss USA pageant with your mom and a bowl of ice cream and think it was the greatest night you’ve ever had.  However, the downside?  Wine coolers.  Being illegal and whatnot.  That’s about it.

Time for nail polish!  I have some of the prettiest spring shades you might ever see.  Jill from Glisten & Glow sent me her amazing Oh, the Places You’ll Go collection, and basically they’re going in your basket whether you like it or not.  Take a look:

Told ya.  Who wants to fast forward to April now?  I do, I do!  Spring is literally where I bring my dead winter self back to life.  I’m ready y’all.  Like yesterday.

So this collection is inspired by the children’s book, Oh, the Places You’ll Go by Dr. Seuss, and I’m telling you, SPOT ON is an understatement.  Jill did her magic and made a perfect tribute to this classic book.  Not that we expected anything less.  Cuz GLISTEN & GLOW.  Duh.

First up is Your Mountain is Waiting:

I mean, COME ON.  How will you ever make it to the end of this blog if you’re just gonna go pass out already?  Ugh.  Best pink ever.  Pretty sure.

This one is the color of bubblegum and so ultra creamy.  Just the right amount of thickness to go on opaque in two, non-streaky coats.  Jill makes some of the best crèmes, I swear.  Formula is consistent clear across the board, and I absolutely love that.  Cuz why put wonton strips on a Thai salad one time and not the next?  WHY TROPICAL SMOOTHIE CAFE, WHY?!  You see, consistency is key.  You add the wonton strips.  Always.

Actual cute nail art:

Pretty simple, but I don’t hate it so toot toot! then.  Although I do feel I do this sort of design a lot, with the two stamped nails and the studs.  Trying to stop doing that so much, but it’s just so dang easy to stay in your rut.  Especially cuz getting out of a rut requires energy, effort and probably pants for all I know – three things I do not like.

For this design, I used the Lina Feeling Shapely 08 plate and some bright pastel blue stamping polish.  Also, the shimmer comes from one of the new toppers which I will talk about further down.  And the matte top coat.  Stay tuned.

Next up is 98 and 3/4 Percent Guaranteed:

One of my absolute favorite colors for spring.  There’s just something about periwinkle that makes me sigh with happiness.  Did someone just wrap me up in warm blankets and hand me a bunch of kitties?  Cuz  this polish makes me feel that way.

Again, two coats.  No streaks.  What is this voodoo, I ask you?  This whole scenario is suspiciously perfect.

Not quite as cute nail art:

But it’s not the worst, right?!  RIGHT.

I used one of Glisten & Glow’s crème polishes, Wedding Gown White, to stamp this design from the Lina Make Your Mark 03 plate.  Added more shimmer top coat plus the new matte top coat.  You’re dying to know.  Keep reading.

Now here’s Today is Your Day:

It’s true.  Today IS your day.  Your day to buy a bunch of nail polish you didn’t know you needed.  How lucky are you?!  (Very.)

This sunshine yellow crème was a huge surprise to me because I totally expected it to wash me out, look garish and gaudy and super unattractive against my obnoxiously pale skin.  But it had just enough of a neon quality to it that it did just the opposite.  Look how tan I look below:

Just kidding.  But it’s not ugly, and that is the point.

Yellow can be hard to manage, but this one is creamy and opaque in (again) two coats, no streaks.  It’s the best yellow creme I think I’ve used.  Toots for you, Jill!

Nail art that took actual effort:

OMG, I made a thing, an actual nail art thing.  I gradiented, guys!  I mean, I cheated and used the super simple gradient image from the Lina Make Your Mark 03 plate, but what exactly is your question?

Used all three of the crèmes mentioned so far for the gradient, which also ended up giving me an orange and a purple too once blended.  Added the dot image from the same plate plus one of the shimmah effects toppers, and voila.  Masterpiece!  I’ll take recreations, toots and accolades, you know, if you’re all not busy.

Last of the cremes is this one, Great Balancing Act:

I won’t lie, I kinda want to eat this one.  Good gracious, it looks yummy.  Plus it’s described as a mimosa orange crème and that sounds like ice cream so technically if I just lick it a little bit that’d be okay.

I’m not crazy, you’re crazy.

Also, for the record, this is my favorite of the bunch.  Such a unique orange shade, I own nothing like it, and if it’s weird or different, I want it.  Which is how I owned a pair of hammer pants in the first place.  And jodhpurs.  No self-respecting 7th grader should own a pair of jodhpurs.  Except unless you’re me cuz I could never be normal.

My favorite nail art:

I love the contrast between the orange and the periwinkle so much!  And the fact these crèmes stamp are expectations = exceeded.  They don’t appear like they would since they aren’t super thick like Mundo de Unas, but here is your proof.  How much more happy can you be right now?  Well, I mean, of course STARBUCKS, but then how much more happy?

Used the Uber Chic Beauty Love & Marriage 01 plate if you’re curious.

In addition to those four glorious cremes, Jill created two “shimmah” effects toppers just for funsies.  First one is called Fun to be Done:

Chock full of purple, pink, and red shimmer.  It’s glorious!  I chose to put this over a black base so you could really see the effect, but the majority of the above nail art uses these toppers, and they all look pretty good on colors too if you ask me. (And you did, cuz then why are you here?  The expertise, clearly.)

The matte version looks best, but the top two fingers below are glossy so you can compare.  Which is your favorite?

The other “shimmah” is Bang Ups and Hang Ups:

This one has blue and green shimmer, and I think it’s my favorite of the two.  Cuz it’s the darkest and has green in it, and of course I’d love all that, have you read this blog before?

Also, run-on sentence.  Now is not the time for grammar.  Nail polish makes me forget my brain.

Some shots of the Shimmah Effects on top of the cremes with the new matte top coat:

All that is magical.  Just so you know.

Now a word on that matte top coat:

Brand new edition to Jill’s core collection, so it’ll be available all the time.  It’s made in-house which instantly takes this from a good matte top coat to a great one.  Homemade is always better, don’t you think?  Well, unless you’re me.  My attempts at homemade look like a T-Rex did it with their eyes closed.  A hot mess, is what I mean.

So this top coat applies smoothly, dries to a satiny matte finish and doesn’t smear nail art.  Dries to the touch in under a minute and is fully dry within five minutes, which is perfect cuz y’all know you’re gonna need that paper clip at the bottom of your purse as soon as your nails are done.  Nothing says “suddenly got shit to do” like 10 wet fingernails.

In other words, this matte top coat is perfect.

The round up:

There are several different ways of purchasing these polishes.  Although you’re buying everything so I don’t know why this matters.  But because I am nothing if not thorough, here you go:

Set of 4 crèmes $28; individual bottles $7.50

Set of 2 shimmah effects toppers $14; individual bottles $8

Entire 6 piece set $45

Matte top coat (again, made in-house; toot toot!) $6.99

These launch on Friday, Feb 24 at 9pm EST so make sure you engage EMERGENCY NAIL POLISH MODE so you don’t miss out.  Click here to order and then sit back and wait impatiently.  It’s the least you can do.

Bonus ending!

Last Friday, Jill released this ocean blue dreamboat.  Here’s Diving With Mermaids:

Since it’s still available, I wanted to go ahead and mention it.  (Again, thorough.  Also, BEST BLOGGER EVER.)  This polish is a collaboration with Tiffany at @stunnin.nails on Instagram.  It’s a gorgeous oceanic blue holo with green shimmer, dusting of silver and red holo micro glitter and touch of King Triton’s gold.

Well, dang.  Who feels like doing 18,000 mermaid manis now?

An insane display of holo:

You done died.  You did.

I wore this polish to work and a co-worker asked to borrow it, and I tried to play it cool but inside the hives were lurking.  Cuz it’s hard to let go of your polish babies, even just for 14 hours.  I let my mom borrow a book from me once and it came back to me bloated and warped and with melted dirty snow all over it.  So naturally I panicked cuz nobody loves my things the way I love my things.  Sometimes unnaturally, but that is beside the point.

Macro time!

And of course there’s a mermaid mani:

Just something simple using the layered scales image from the Uber Chic Beauty Mermaid Life plate.  It’s not ridiculously creative, but I still like it anyway.

This one is available now and you can click here to purchase. Also, if you’re one of the lucky ones heading to Polish Con in New York City on April 29, this polish will be there along with Jill and Tiffany, who will be helping out at the table.  Price is  $10 either way so be sure to get your hands on it.

But back to the Oh, the Places You’ll Go collection.  Here’s a recap cuz someone’s already forgotten, I just know it.  Available on Friday, February 24 at 9pm EST.  You’re buying all 7 of them, so write that down and then do what I say.  I promise you’ll thank me.  And in that case, I like Starbucks and Visa gift cards.  And Leonardo, if he’s handy.

All done!  You’ve reached the bottom.  It only took 18 years to write this so kudos to both of us.  We. Are. Amazing.

Later, loves!

Feb20

MDJ Creations: MDJ Peeps Group Customs (plus bonus!)

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I just saw my blog queue and the 18 drafts sitting in there staring at me, and OMG I just got the hives and need to go lay down now.  Quick, I need a dozen people to do something funny so I’ll have stuff to write about.  I mean, I can’t rely solely on my husband to do all the stupid stuff, although I will point out the insulation from the previous post is currently half on, half off like predicted.

I might be psychic, and if that’s the case, this blog suddenly got more interesting.

I don’t know if hubby realizes he’s the star of this blog the majority of the time, but how am I supposed to NOT tell you how his 6th grade band teacher gave him a “C” to pretend blow into the horn instead of actually blowing into the horn cuz he kept ruining concerts.  My three spelling bee wins are so much more impressive now, by comparison.

But to be fair, I’ve had my share of embarrassments.  In 9th grade, a boy whispered in my ear that he could see my maxi pad through my shorts and then I had to continue with the rest of my day as if none of that existed.  I don’t know if he thought he was helping or what, but if there was ever a time to be absolutely certain about the presence of my anxiety, I’d say that was a pretty good one.

Aside from all that, my hair was the shape of a triangle.  The 90s was hard, you guys.  SO. HARD.

I have new polish to share with you today.  And this one is kinda an emergency, so FOCUS.  Everything I have to say from this point on is var var important.  Unlike all that hot air blown up top – I don’t even know where my brain went during the entire 18 hours it took to write all that.

Two brand new MDJ Creations Facebook fan group customs are being released tomorrow so get your alarm and Post-It notes handy cuz you do not want to miss out.  Take a look:

Did you die?  Cuz I sure did.

That’s a massive amount of glitter in case you need obvious things pointed out.  I get it.  Sometimes I’m tired and don’t want to think for myself either.  And if I hold my mouth open just right, hopefully someone will just put some mashed potatoes in there cuz I AM THE LAZIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD.

First up is For My Peeps:

Gracious, that’s pretty.  All you purple lovers out there, you may pass out now.

So this one has a deep purple jelly base and it’s loaded with every glitter Melissa could get her hands on.    Despite that though, it had a surprisingly good formula.  As opposed to gloop, which none of us appreciate.  Much like the people who make extra food noises with their mouth or women who have the skin of a 14-year-old, gloop can go have a seat in the back cuz nobody likes you.  NO ONE.  

Took that shot directly under the lamps, and holy moly it couldn’t get much better.  Well, unless there’s Leonardo DiCaprio free gift with purchase thing, that is.  But after that, nothing.  Okay, Leo handing you a Starbucks, but that’s officially it.

Two macros to drool over:

Brain has officially stopped holding my mouth closed.  Lolling tongues are impending.  It’s about to get suuuuuuper unattractive in here.

The other half of the duo is Love My Peeps:

It’s the clear glitter topper sister, and we love her just as much.  Oh yes we do.

I chose a hot pink base to showcase all those blingy bits and pieces, and I think it looks fabulous.  One swipe – ONE SWIPE! – over the nail, and look at that payout.  Effortless, no pushing glitters around to cover up bald patches.  This is your glitter topper dream come true.  I’m not a fan of toppers cuz they’re too OCD-inducing for me, but if all the others were made like this one, well then my husband would have another new thing to worry about.  Cuz while food, utilities and a bed with covers on it is all well and good, collecting a thousand bottles of glitter toppers sounds like the most logical next move.

Died again.  Ugh.

Also, not that sponging on the glitter is even necessary, but I tried it on my pinky out of curiosity and it goes on really well. Two layers and boom.  You can get back in pajamas now.

More macros, more drool:

If that last macro didn’t seal the deal, something is wrong with your brain.  I’m serious.

The round up:

In order to get these beauties, you must be a member of the MDJ Peeps group on Facebook so you can get the coupon code.  Click here to join!  Once you’re approved and the code is in your hot little hands, click here to shop.  Release date is tomorrow, February 21 at 5pm CST so I’ll be expecting all this be taken care of by 5:01pm tops.  Priorities, ya know.

Bonus ending!

On Valentine’s Day, Melissa also released a small batch prototype of this little cutie pie.  Here’s In a Pink Mood:

So sweet.  So precious.    If it was any more so, it’d be less nail polish, more basket of kittens.

As you can see, this one has a mid-tone pink crelly base and it’s full of multi-colored hex glitters and shreds of varying shapes and sizes.  It’s stinkin cute is what it is; it’s basically going in your basket.  Cuz you like pretty things, that’s why.  And you can’t be obsessed with nail polish if you don’t do it properly.  Want, want and need.  That’s your new motto.

A final macro:

Some nail art I did:

I mean, no one is recreating this one anytime soon, but I’ve done a billion worse.  So …. there’s that.

Used the Lina All About Love 01 plate for the heart image and a ridiculous amount of purple gems plus matte top coat.  I dunno.  Do you like it matte?  I think I might prefer it glossy, although TOO LATE NOW.  I’m hitting publish on this dang post so maybe I can go to bed earlier than 2am.

Since this is a super duper limited release, if you want it, it’s best to go as quickly as possible.  Now is a good time so click here.  And now you belong in the cool kids group, and you can continue to read this blog.

But back to the MDJ Peeps group custom duo, these release tomorrow 2/21 at 5pm CST, and there’s a good chance they will sell out quickly.  Don’t forget to join the Facebook group (click here), then be sure to set 17 alarms at the minimum.  Do it.  I mean it.

Thanks for reading all the way to the bottom.  Internet high fives (and pajamas) for everyone!

Later, loves!

 

 

Feb14

Level Up Lacquer: Overwatch Collection 

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Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!  Who else is having Chick-Fil-A and a wine cooler?

I’d like to tell you I’m one of those ladies who couldn’t give a toss about Valentine’s Day.  I mean, it isn’t supposed to be the only day out of the year when your loved one publicly declares their love for you.  Cuz Valentine’s Day is technically everyday, right, my 21st century women?

WRONG.

Cuz if I am the only woman on earth who doesn’t get flowers delivered to work for all 1100 co-workers to witness, then 1) I question the depth of your feelings, and 2) there may be an eggplant plus scissors emoji-type scenario happening later.  I’m sorry if loving Valentine’s Day makes me a girly girl, a less-than, an anti-feminist.  I’m sorry that I want my desk full of roses and my stomach full of chocolate, and if there has to be one day out of the entire year to force you to do it, well that’s just Science and we don’t argue with Science, now do we?

However, there are two times when Valentine’s Day has backfired in my life.  Once about 20 years ago, my then-boyfriend gave me a tin of cinnamon popcorn and a card that said “Love Ya.”  At first, I was like oh thank you so much but about 2.5 seconds later I was like LOVE YA?!  What do you mean, LOVE YA?  And POPCORN? Who freaking buys their girlfriend popcorn for Valentine’s Day?!  Well, apparently it is a boyfriend who is going to break up with you about 10 days later.  FAIL.

And to this day, if anyone tries to gift me cinnamon popcorn, it’s snip-snip and a karate chop until AT MINIMUM you exchange it for popcorn with chocolate on it.

Second time was last year when my husband gave me the gift of my dreams:  a luxurious, fluffy pink robe.  Which worked out really well for me, but I’m pretty sure he’s regretted that move for the past 365 days, seeing as the robe has become less something sexy and more of a lazy, housewife-y, pants unzipped to let your fat out kind of robe.  When I wear the robe, it is no longer a tribute to a thoughtful and kind husband who listens to his wife when she tells him things; I wear it now and I might as well have a head full of hot rollers and 3 toddlers hanging off my body.  It’s never a special occasion robe – which I guarantee he thought it might be – but more of a uniform for the anti-social.  Cuz if I have to take off the robe just so we can go buy groceries and whatnot, chances are we will both just starve instead.  And if you see me and I’m somehow not wearing the robe, you can assume I’ve been kidnapped then.

In other words, he should just buy me nail polish next time.  It’s safer.

Speaking of nail polish (and best segue ever!), I have some pretties to show you today from Level Up Lacquer.  First time on the blog, y’all!  And what a debut … Here’s the new Overwatch collection:

I’m diggin all those.  Four gorgeous shades, unique and so lovely.  A couple of bright spring colors, a staple silvery sparkly one, and then that last one – ugh – I kinda one eat that one.  Except society.  They’re no fun sometimes.

This collection is inspired by the video game Overwatch.  Do y’all play?  I do a little bit.  Well, not Overwatch per se, but like, I tend to a fake bakery and build ovens and change the wallpaper from time to time.  That’s roughly the same kinda thing, right?  Right.

First up is My Reality:

Ooooooh, a thermal!  A turquoise one!  Isn’t it so pretty?  And it’s so bright and cheerful, you can’t help but close your eyes and smile like an idiot for a second.  I love polishes that do that to me.  Preferably before my husband walks in the room and divorces me.  It’s important to keep our crazy to ourselves, ya know.  That’s how marriage works.

Here is My Reality in its warm state:

Kind of a white-ish grey and you can see lots of white and turquoise glitters.  At times I thought this polish was a very light blue when warm, but now I’m pretty sure it’s sorta gray.  Like 97.947675 percent.

Here’s the polish in transition:

Y’all know right before this photo here there were about 187 others that were stupid.  Transition shots are hard sometimes.  There was at least two hours of me with my hand in the freezer, out of the freezer, back in the freezer, having anxiety.  Best Blogger Ever award?  Yes, please.

Now here’s the cool state:

Full on turquoise EXTRAVAGANZA!  How happy are you right now?  (Very.)

Time for drooling!

Now FOCUS.  Next up is Boop:

THIS.  We’ve barely gotten started and already I’m losing words.  Seriously, moan-y throat noises are about to come out.

Uhhhhhhhhnnnnnn.

See?  Ugh.

This one is a bold lavender with a touch of pink, like a tropical flower or something.  A dusting of purple hex glitters and just the teeniest bit of holo that I almost didn’t see until I got up close.  Went on so smooth, glitters spread around so nice.  On a scale of one to Leonardo, this is basically a dreamboat in a bottle.  Only way it could be better is if it came with a Starbucks.

Macro porn!

And then I did this nail art thing:

And it’s not hideous.  Straight up miracle.

I did gradient stamping with a turquoise and dark purple stamping polish and used the Uber Chic Beauty Love & Marriage 01 plate.  Plus matte top coat for extra credit.  Where’s my horn?  I need to toot it.

Now here’s Orb of Harmony: 

Okay, at first you’re like, alright, a silver.  But then you start putting it on your nails, and it’s all you can do to keep upright.  Grab your smelling salts just in case.  And look at those little baby gold flakies.  I loves!

This is one of those polishes when the word perfection doesn’t even describe it quite right.  It was a pure pleasure to apply.  One layer, two layers, then onto Polish Mountain!  Except I’m lazy so I just stopped at two.  Clearly, it worked out.

Also, NERD ALERT.  Sorry.  There are times when moan-y throat noises are the better choice.  This is one of those times.

Another macro; lots more drool:

And another nail art look I’m kinda somewhat proud of:

I think this is rather cute.  I used a dainty daisy image from the Lina Feeling Shapely 08 plate and added dots of gold for the centers to play off those gold flakies.  It’s almost as if I thought this one through before accidentally stamping all the things like normal.

Lastly, this is High Noon:

Saved the best for last?  Prolly.  And absolutely, definitely, one hundred percent-ly the most unique.  From the chocolately plum jelly base to the awesome gold, red and lavender glitter mix, I seriously need a couch to lay on for a second.  And bring candy bars.  This one is making me hungry.

One more macro and a bit more drooling:

And now, nail art:

Okay, so this one isn’t my favorite.  I don’t hate it, but I don’t love it, which is how I usually feel about my nail art.  So status quo, then.  Blah.

The image is from the Lina Make Your Mark 03 plate, which has tons of cool edgy patterns on it.  And stamping polish is my favorite gold from Powder Perfect.

The round up:

Guess what you’re doing next?  That’s right.  You’ve read this blog before, haven’t you?

To recap, you’re putting Post-It Notes on all your surfaces and setting a minimum of 17 alarms.  Release date for this collection is this Friday, February 17 and you don’t wanna go getting there late, now do you?  The whole room be watching you walk in, judging you with their eyes.  And you’re probably wearing click-clacky shoes and your seat is clear on the other side.  Planning is everything, my friend.  Don’t be the girl in the click-clacky shoes.

OMG, what is happening?  Shut up, brain.

Just go buy the polish, is what I’m saying.  Click here.

Later, loves!

Feb4

Glam Polish: Candyfornia Collection

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I had over 3600 steps on my fitness app yesterday because I walked against my will.  I mean, I have a desk job for a reason, people!  I believe my job description actually states no physical activity required.  Good at Excel and sending emails and sitting in a chair for long periods of time.  SOLD!  I can’t think of anything more suited for me.  But for whatever reason, someone deemed it necessary to have a mandatory meeting in a room roughly 2000 miles away from my desk.  Ugh.  I had to practically drag my noodle legs behind me just to get there.

Some of you may be thinking 3600 steps isn’t that much.  Which may be technically true if you spend your free time doing stuff as opposed to wearing pajamas like me.  But remember that time I had 41 steps for the day?  I don’t even know how that happened – two bathroom trips and hubby bringing me snacks from the kitchen, maybe.  Whatever the case, 3600 steps in comparison is virtually a marathon.  SO I WALKED A MARATHON, is what I’m saying.  Try telling me that isn’t true.

On an un-related note, I hurt myself putting my hair up in a ponytail.  Sooooo, there’s that.

Time for nail polish!  I have the Glam Polish Candyfornia Collection to share with you today.  I received 5 out of the 10 polishes to show off, and if these don’t get you in the mood for spring, well then I am var var concerned about your brain.  Lessss go!

This collection is inspired by Katy Perry’s 2010 song California Gurls and the Candyfornia themed music video.  I simply adore this whole thing.  The colors absolutely remind you of candy, but also of spring and cheerful whimsy.  They’re happiness in a bottle.  They’re going in your shopping cart!  (Just so you know.)

First up is Sippin’ Gin & Juice:

I don’t exactly know what Gin & Juice is, but if it’s anything like this nail polish, I want it alllll over me.  Just because I can’t drink one wine cooler in under three hours, doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate the wine cooler.  Just cuz I’m no fun at parties doesn’t mean I don’t want to party.

Well, wait.  Does that mean putting pants on?  Never mind.  

This one is a pastel blush coral crelly with holo, micro glitter and holo flakies.  I’m totally loving the fact this isn’t pink.  The coral is a nice warm surprise, something I definitely need today cuz the sun done took a vacay.  Why can’t you stay out longer than 15 minutes?!  Whyyyyyyyyyeeee?  I’m not in the mood for a meltdown today, so if we could just go ahead and fast forward to April, that’d be great.  Who’s in charge?  CALL THEM.

Nail art I did:

This makes me feel better.  A design I actually like.  I used the Uber Chic Beauty Love & Marriage 03 plate and went with a pastel blue stamping polish to add a bit of color contrast.  I think it turned out pretty cute.  Now if only all my nail art could get on this level.  Baby Jesus, you listening?

Next up is Summer Time is Everything:

So. True.  Summertime IS everything.  I can’t think of anything more loved than sunshine, warm breezes and frappucinos.  Sunlight that lasts past 9pm.  And there’s me, lounging on the couch with the air conditioning, blankets pulled up to my chin, in complete and utter ectasy.  Most likely with eyes closed, smiling.  Clearly, summertime makes me an idiot.

This one is described as a pastel lemon crelly with holo, micro glitter and holo flakies, but it appears more green than yellow.  Which is perfectly fine by me.  Green is the color of angels singing (pretty sure) and new life breathing into Earth.  Green is fresh, hopeful.  Green is a firecracker, bursting.  Gimme all the green things.

Well, except for asparagus.  You can keep the asparagus.

Ugh.  Then there’s this:

Dang it.  That was short lived.

I had a vision of these in my head, and they looked freaking fabulous.  It’s such a disappointment when the reality doesn’t quite match up.  Like that time I ordered new panties and they looked like joke panties boys in frat houses use for pranks and I went on and on to my husband about the inconvenience of having to mail them back for a refund and blah blah blah.  But then I tried them on and they fit perfectly.  And so I cried for the next 37 years.  Kinda like that.

Again, used the Uber Chic Beauty Love & Marriage 03 plate.  Cute image, but not cute execution.  Moving on!

Here’s I Love L.A.:

My favorite of the bunch!  Isn’t this color to die for?  It is, it is!  When I pulled this bottle out of the package, I immediately melted into a big puddle of goo.  Nail polish needs to come with warning labels sometimes, lest you have a reputation to uphold.  Cuz I don’t know about you, but drooling in the fetal position is not an attractive look on me.  Pretty sure my husband is wondering what happened to that normal girl he married, cuz it’s certainly not this one who’s laying down on the kitchen floor with her tongue hanging out.

Okay, so we have a turquoise green crelly with holo, micro glitter and holo flakies and it’s every bit as fabulous as you expect it to be.  Reminds me of a Caribbean beach, like the ocean I snorkeled in in Mexico.  I picture it like yesterday. Water you could see through clear to the bottom.  There’s me in the middle, doing something out of my comfort zone, trying to be a trooper.  With snorkel in my mouth, crying, I stick my face in the water and try not to have anxiety.  NOPE.  It’s not natural. You’re not supposed to breath under water.  It goes against science.  More crying.  People staring at me with their judgy eyes.

Well, I didn’t say it was a happy memory.  But the water was glorious.

Also, this is why I like to stay home now.

Favorite nail art of all time:

This is what I like to call Happiness on Four Fingers.  Isn’t it dreamy?  The colors, they getcha right in the heartstrings.  Mojo is back, people.  However fleeting, but let’s soak it in anyway.

Used the Lina Feeling Shapely 08 plate in case you’re curious.

Next up is Daisy Dukes Bikinis On Top:

Well, we had to have a little sweet one in the bunch didn’t we?  I love the gentleness of this shade.  So delicate and pretty.  You could wear this one during your lunch with the Queen – as happens to most of us from time to time.

So here we have a pastel lilac crelly with holo, micro glitter and holo flakies.  It’s so lovely.  Perfect for Easter manis, spring florals, or something work appropriate in case you are forced to be a proper lady for 8 hours a day.

More nail art:

Well this one won’t win me any awards or anything, but at least it’s not hideous.  Right?  Right.  I used the new Lina All About Love 01 plate, and it’s full of pretty images.  I recommend it, but go now to get it.  Since it just released, it may sell out quickly.  Emergency!  You know the drill.

Last but not least, here’s California:

Something calming and soothing to end this blog post.  Looking at this one definitely settles your mood, especially if you’ve been dealing with cranky children or a husband that made a mistake and didn’t make you coffee this morning even though it’s the only thing you ever look forward to and without it you would just shrivel up and die on the inside.  And making your own coffee just doesn’t taste the same, you can’t explain it, it’s just the law of the universe.

You know, if you’re having a day like that.  This polish will soothe you.

It’s a pastel periwinkle crelly with holo, micro glitter and holo flakies, and anytime I hear the word ‘periwinkle’ I immediately want whatever it is.  It could be a jar of slug trail for all I know, but dye it periwinkle and that’s the end of that.  Gimme.

Some art:

I’m kinda diggin this image. I think it looks like vintage wallpaper a little bit.  What do you think?   Got it off the Lina All About Love 01 plate (again) and I’m pretty happy with how it turned out.  Seriously, if I didn’t do nail stamping, I have no idea what kind of nail art I’d be showing you right now.  Some wonky freehand, prolly.  And then a picture of all the hives it gave me.

The round up:

This collection released yesterday so you can go ahead and click here to shop!  This collection retails for $120 but is discounted by 10% for the next 48 hours. Single bottles are $12.00.  Remember, there are 5 other colors in the collection as well.  Here’s the rundown:

Something in the Water – pastel sky blue

Underneath the Palm Trees – pastel spring green

You’ll be Falling in Love – pastel violet

So Hot We’ll Melt Your Popsicle – pastel bubblegum

Wild, Wild West Coast – candy glitter bomb with color shifting iridescent glitter and holo micro glitter

To see swatches of those, check out my friend Alicia at Delishious Nails.  It’s important to be informed and not just throw things in the cart all willy nilly.  That’s how you end up with 800+ bottles of nail polish.  Or like one of those fabric shavers so you can spend 3 hours in your closet shaving your clothes.  Or a bottle of Poo-Pourri so the TSA agent at the airport can pull it out of your purse to examine it in front of everyone.  Not that I own a bottle of Poo-Pourri or anything.  This is just hypothetical.

Later, loves!

Feb1

O-My Jewels: Moments Collection 

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Negative #1 of being married to a chef:

Cleaning up after a chef.  You know, if I knew I’d be spending an eternity washing 18 pots and pans just for one plate of food, I would have never agreed to it.  Yes, I know I didn’t have to cook anything.  Yes, I know I got to play Princess while someone made a meal for me.  But why is there grease splatter everywhere?  And spoons stuck in everything? And must you use a RICER to make the mashed potatoes, cuz that thing has a gazillion hidey holes for food to get stuck in.  I’m pretty sure that’s the reason forks were invented – to mash the potatoes in a tidier way.

And the next time you feel the need to use a food processor, let’s just have sandwiches.  On paper plates.  For the next 37 years.

Negative #1 of being married to me:

…

…

What?

…

Time for nail polish!  Sophia at O-My Jewels released the 10-piece Moments Collection today, and I received three of them to show off for you.  Ready to do some ooohs and aaaahs?  (Well, who isn’t, honestly?  Crazy people.  Bah Humbugs, maybe.)  Let’s get started then!  Take a look:

I see a creme, some flakies, and a deep ocean of jelly.  Mannnn, how’s your day been?  Better now, I’m sure.  There’s something about pretty nail polish that makes everything better.  The only reason dishes get done is cuz I know there’s nail polish at the end of it.  Otherwise, what is the point of life?  I ask you, WHAT IS THE POINT?

First up is No Whining:

If you’re looking for a super good red, this one has your name allllll over it.  (Seriously.  I checked.)  It’s an ultra creamy deep red, opaque on practically the first coat.  YOU GUYS.  Don’t make me tell you what to do.  Just toss this in your shopping cart cuz you were planning on it anyway.  And now we are best friends, and you can continue to read this blog.

Nail art I did:

Quick!  Someone grab my horn so I can toot it!  Is this not the cutest nail art ever?  I’m sooooo happy with it, like I’d swear I didn’t do it if I didn’t already know I did.  Right?  Right.

I used the new All About Love 01 plate from Lina Nail Art Supplies for those adorable reverse hearts.  You need this plate, by the way.  It’s on pre-sale right now and totally worth it.  As you can clearly see.

Next up is Do Unicorns Fly?

This is a question I often ask myself.  Back in the 11th grade, I was dating this guy who told me he wrecked his car by swerving to miss a unicorn as it was floating down from the sky.  I was 16 and rather naive (cuz spelling bees, lots and lots of spelling bees), so I believed him.  I repeat:  I BELIEVED HIM.  Guess how many times I’ve wanted to slap 16-year-old me?  Just guess.

Anyway, my point. We know they float.  But do they fly?  The world may never know.   

So this one is a buttery yellow creme with this amazing blue/purple/pink shimmer running through it.  It’s delicate and kind of hides at times, but it’s there, being quietly braggy with it’s prettiness.  A very unique and surprising twist though.  Not one time have I ever seen a polish like this.  Good job, Sophia!  You win at Nail Polish.  Pajamas for everyone!

More decent nail art:

I can’t believe I don’t hate this.  Who am I?!  I used the same Lina All About Love 01 plate from before, and decided to capitalize on that blue/purple shimmer by doing gradient roses.  I love it so much!  Again, with the horn.  Toot toot!

Last one is Second Glance:

OMG.  I can’t with the jellies.  The jellies with the glitters and the shimmers and deep blue oceans of squishy, dreamy goodness.  I’m just gonna close my eyes and smile to myself for a minute.  BRB.

Well it was either that or drooling, and I’ve been choosing drooling a lot lately.  Seriously, if I continue with the drooling, there might be a looney bin type scenario happening, and I’m totally not into that.  Number one, the outfits are not flattering.  And there’s probably no nail polish OR Starbucks.  And, and … and … well, what other reason do you need?  No nail polish or Starbucks, people.  Basically, Hell, is what I’m saying.

Okay, what just happened?  Shut up, Brain.

A word about this polish.  It’s a jelly, of which we know and love.  But it’s chock full of chunky glitter, which we also love.  However, the formula might be thicker than what you’re used to.  So if you have issues, just add about 15-20 drops of nail polish thinner, and give it a good shake.  Good as gold!  And pretty as pie.

The round up:

The Moments Collection is available right this second so go ahead and click here to order.  There are 10 polishes total in this collection, so feel free to buy them all.  Prices range from $7.25 to $8.00 each, but your happiness is priceless.

I do have a discount code for one free polish with your order of at least one polish.  Use LOOKDIANNA at checkout and save yourself some money!  Coupon code is active through February 11, so not like it’s an emergency or anything, but it’s kinda an emergency.  No rush, but go now.

Have a good evening, and as always, thank you for reading all he way to the bottom.  Hugs and kisses for everyone! (Well, just the cute ones.)

Later, loves!

Jan30

Nailed It!: Conversation Hearts Collection 

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Benefit #1 of being married to a chef:

When you ask (politely but in all caps in case there’s a misunderstanding) WHY ISN’T THERE ANYTHING CAKE-Y IN THIS HOUSE?! and he gets up and goes make something cake-y.  He does that all the time, just whips up something like that out of stuff we have stashed in our cabinets.  Like, I don’t immediately think CAKE! when I see an unopened carton of Egg Nog leftover from the holidays.  My first thought is GROSS, but where I act like someone who just stepped on a slug in the kitchen at 1 in the morning, he sees opportunity.  Substitute Egg Nog for the butter or actual eggs or something along that line, and voila!  A cake is born.

Benefit #1 of being married to me:

Everything one day past the expiration date listed on the package has immediately turned to poison.  Like, the day of the expiration date, completely fine.  Next day, it will straight up kill you now.  Hubby has thrown out many things that he would, in his expert opinion, still use, but since he doesn’t want to be accused of murder,  he now just goes straight to the trash can.

I may have a skosh of the hypochondria.  I dunno.  I have a friend who got food poisoning from eating ham that his grandmother ate right before she died.  Sooooo … your grandma ate the ham and then she died?  A coincidence, you don’t think?  Honestly, I don’t know how the rest of the story went cuz I immediately got the hives and had to go lay down.  But seriously.  This is why I’m crazy.

I got off on a tangent.  My point is I have a husband who makes me cake.  Even my bad days are still pretty good.

Let’s talk polish!  I received the 4-piece Conversation Hearts collection from Nailed It! nail polish to review for you today.  It’s pink, purple and full of sparkle, so if you’re into all that, then today’s your lucky day.  See:

So blingy!  Who doesn’t love a massive dose of holo?  (Seriously, who?  Cuz we need to talk.)  It’s all your favorite Valentine’s colors, perfect for manis full of hearts, cupids, roses, black clouds, Darth Vader.  I mean, this is YOUR day.  Celebrate however.

First up is Let’s Kiss:

Okay, this one is precious.  Yes?  Yes.  I love a sweet little pink.  And it has just enough darkness in it to make my skin tone appear less see-thru, which is all I ever want out of a polish.  Well, except for gloop.  But gloop is a given.  No, we save gloop for people who like to make extra food noises with their mouths.  Or who use the word suckle in their everyday vocabulary.  Gloop is your punishment for being a bad person.

Macro time!

Then I did some nail art:

I kept it pretty simple, but I love that heart pattern. It’s on the Uber Chic Beauty Love & Marriage 03 plate if you’re curious. I’ve used this plate a ton lately.  For real, if you’re into hearts, flowers and romance, you probably lead a wayyyy more interesting life than me.  But also, this plate is perfect for you.

Next up is Be Mine:

Doh!  It’s purple!  It’s not an in your face purple, like PURPLE! with jazz hands but more just purple with like some sweatpants on.  But sweatpants from Victoria’s Secret, so it’s okay.

Look at all that glitter up close:

Okay, there might be a touch of jazz hands.

Here’s the nail art I did:

Meh.  I mean, it’s not terrible but I’m not gonna win any awards with it or anything.  Some of my hearts turned out a bit funky.  As hearts tend to do.  

Used the Uber Chic Beauty Love & Marriage 03 plate (surprise!), and this red hot bombshell down below.

Here’s XOXO:

Ahhh, now.  We’re in love with this one aren’t we?  She’s red with a bit of pink, cute and flirty but also kinda bossy. She’s who you wish you were back in 5th grade when you tried out for cheerleading but refused to show school spirit, cuz duh, EMBARRASSING.  For real, it was all kinds of uncomfortable crickets in there.  Those judges … being so judgy.  It’s as if they knew there was a spelling bee nearby missing a 10-year-old.

Time for drooling!

Okay, pull it together.  Now scroll right past this:

Ugh.  What.  This looked so much cooler in my head.  This nail art = DO. NOT. RECOMMEND.

Last one is Me & You:

Erlack!  Holo much?  It’s like a base of holo with a bit of holo and a holo topper on top.  A holo EXTRAVAGANZA!

You need this, is what I’m saying.  Cuz anything this holographic practically begs for it.  It knows you’re looking, it sees your mouth hanging open all unattractive-like.  Put this one in your basket then, cuz lolling tongues are not a good look for anyone.

Had to show you this under the lamps:

Do you hear angels?  Prolly.

Not bad nail art:

The contract between that much bling and some pretty black lace stamping is almost too much to bear.  Someone bring me a chair, stat.  And Leonardo DiCaprio, just to be safe.

I used the Uber Chic Beauty Love & Marriage 01 plate this time.  Another favorite!

The round up:

Okay, gang.  You’re buying this collection, just so you know.  Here’s the deets:

Entire set $30

Single polish $8.50

Plus, the first 10 people to order all 4 pieces will receive a bottle of Bye Girl latex barrier for free.  Whyyyyy, we love free things!  (Oh yes we do.)

Annnnnnnddddd THEN!  I have a coupon code.  Use dianna15 for 15% off your order.  I know!  Who’s having the best day ever?

Click here to shop!

Alright, you’ve read to the bottom.  Internet high fives for you!  Thanks for hanging out as always.  Go buy yourself some pretties.  You deserve it.

Later, loves!

Jan25

Anchor & Heart Lacquer: Messages in a Bottle – January and February 

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The year was 2005, the year of the chunky black shoe.  My daughter, just under 12 years old, was still willing to hug me with both arms, so clearly it a magical time.  It was summer – or maybe spring – and the world was full of green.  And happiness.  Lots and lots of happiness.

But then there was that dadgum trampoline.  Oh yes, all your childhood dreams are coming true.  Visions of flying, carefree and laughing, fill your mind.  Warm nights, laying outside on the cool mesh, staring up at the sky, counting stars.  Sounds dreamy, right?

Ugh.  Not even close.  Unless you’re totally fine with peeing your pants a little, I recommend bypassing the trampoline altogether.

However, what I’m really trying to say is, don’t jump on a trampoline with chunky black shoes on.  Cuz I did that.  And it hurt. A LOT.  I would’ve peed my pants all day long instead if I was given a choice.  Not only that, but the humiliation of having your husband shave just one of your legs so you could go to the hospital for an X-Ray, is too much to bear at times.  Of course, I am quite proud to note that amidst my suffering, I still had my wits about me to be a proper lady.  Again, only one leg, but still.  The fact that me and my husband at that time are now divorced is beside the point.

Fast forward to yesterday.  I got on a trampoline again for the first time in 12 years.  My granddaughter had left her headband outside and I went to retrieve it, and it was supposed to be an in and out real quick kinda thing.  But something took over me (as somethings are wont to do), and I bounced up and down for about 7.2 seconds.  Then naturally, because this is MY life we are talking about, I tweaked my foot as I landed a little off center.  And then as I was crawling out of the safety net, someone had replaced my normal legs with baby deer ones, cuz I swear I was 90 years old trying to get off that thing.  I don’t know if the universe is trying to tell me something (i.e., you’re old, you’re out of shape, stop eating potato chips), but I think I’ll just stick with my constant pajamas plan instead.

So get comfy with me and let’s look at pretty things.  I have two new polishes from Anchor & Heart Lacquer to share with you today.  And I had a nerdy font fest.  Ta da!

With jazz hands, of course.

This year, Taryn is doing a series of 12 polishes called Messages in a Bottle.  Each month will be a new shade, each promoting an empowering message in its name.  And you know what?  I think that’s freakin’ fabulous.  Every single one of us needs to hear something kind and uplifting, and if it comes in the form of a brand new nail polish, well what more justification do you need?  Get off your no-buys, ladies!  These are well worth your pennies.

First up for January is You’ve Got This:

Y’all know I’m not one for nude polishes cuz it makes me look pale and vitamin deficient, but this one … I mean, THIS ONE.  It’s got an extra special something that I absolutely love.  Like those flakies.  Gah!  Flakies make everything better.  And prettier and skinnier, too, probably.

So this one is a pink-tone nude polish with orange/lilac/blue shifting shimmer, pink holo micro glitter and violet/pink/gold shifting flakies.  It’s a neutral, but all dressed up for a party.  I did two coats here, but some might need three for full opacity.  Or you might need three cuz it literally takes superhuman strength to stop polishing with it.  

Macros to drool over:

Okay now that one was ridiculous.  Did you see all that stuff in there?  Why this polish doesn’t cost like a billion dollars, I have no idea.

I made nail art:

I hope you can tell that is a rose pattern, but regardless, isn’t it so precious?  I chose this wine colored stamping polish that complimented those flakies just perfectly.  Or I think so anyway.  But I also think Fritos and an entire can of bean dip is a great idea, so what do I know, really?

The roses came from the Uber Chic Beauty Love and Marriage 03 plate that just released.  I’ve been using it a ton lately, so you all should definitely check it out.

February’s polish is called You Are Enough:

Did you just die?  Cuz I sure did.  That is one heckuva glowy pink.  Wowwwww.  Someone help me put my mouth back on my face, please.  My brain’s stopped holding it closed.  And look, more flakies!  Seriously, Taryn, what are you doing to me? I do not look attractive with my tongue lolling about outside my body.

This one is a dark pink jelly based holo with shimmering pink/orange glass flecks and flakies that shift green/blue/purple.  Again, I did this one in two coats, but if there’s one polish to justify a trip to Polish Mountian, this one might be it.  One hundred layers sounds like a party I can get into.  Cuz although it might be one of the stupidest things I could ever do (aside from that one time where I jumped on a trampoline in boots; ugh), the fact it doesn’t require pants makes it so very appealing.

Better sit down before looking at these:

You okay?  Need a rag for your forehead?  I know.  Nail polish makes you sweaty sometimes.  I get it.

More kinda okay nail art:

Again, used the Uber Chic Beauty Love and Marriage 03 plate, and stamped on some heart images using a blue stamping polish that I thought kinda matched the flakies.  It didn’t really, but it turned out okay.  One thing for sure:  this polish is a true stunner and if it’s not going in your basket, you might wanna consult a doctor CUZ SOMETHING IS WRONG.
The round up:

I can’t think of any better way to spend your Friday night than throwing a couple of these in your shopping cart.  Honestly, you were just gonna put on sweatpants anyway – might as well be useful about it.

These polishes are part of the Messages in a Bottle series (as I mentioned), and despite the fact they are January and February offerings, you will be able to snag these any time.  Except let’s go ahead and take care of that now, just in case.  Release date is Friday, January 27 at 9pm EST so make sure you have Post-It Notes on all your surfaces.  Then click here to shop. There’s an initial preorder thru January 31 with shipping to start one week later, then once all that’s done, they will be fully in stock in February. 

Can’t wait to see what the year holds for Anchor & Heart – what more empowering, uplifting messages we will find.  I’m okay with fast forwarding to March anyway.  It can stop being 40-degrees any time now.

Later, loves!