When your mom has a birthday party and asks you to make her a bag of frozen corn, you put away your truffle oil and big bag of chef tricks and then just make her a bag of frozen corn. Cuz she is queen for the day, and we shall treat her as such.
I get it though. Not everyone wants a 17 course meal with food names in foreign languages. I mean, even my husband the chef just wants a corn dog sometimes. OR! a big bowl of mashed potatoes, some stretchy pants and a room to be alone in. But maybe that’s just me. Although honestly, my ecstasy face does need a bit of privacy lest divorce is also on the menu. Cuz there’s not much sexy to go around with one eyeball rolled back in your head and a gaping mouth full of potato. Or so says society.
However, despite the corn, the party was still nice. Well, except for two things:
1. Mom can’t stop running marathons. The woman turns 60 and you’d think she’d like to start sitting down now. Put on some pajamas, maybe. She was 24 hours post-run, looking like a perky ray of sunshine. STOP IT MOM. Stop making me look bad. Cuz Lazy, Level EXPERT is as high as this thing goes.
2. There was a gift giving contest that I was unaware of but somehow participated in. And apparently my gift of a wad of cash just handed over was at the very bottom. Blahhh. Listen, I am quite aware of how un-clever I am with gifts. The hives they are a-lurking and I stress about it for eons, then I panic and grab a popcorn maker and a 2-pack of sock boots on my way out the door. So considering all that, I’d say a nice, safe wad of cash is about the best outcome in this little scenario. At this point, if mom isn’t tossing a few happy tears my way, I am var var concerned about her brain.
While mom reconsiders the level of her love, let’s talk polish! I have some goodies from Missi at Different Dimension to show off for you today. First time on the blog, y’all! Feeling awfully fancy right about now. There are two new trios plus a couple of April special releases to discuss. Lots to do, lots to see (and money to spend) so excitement starts NOW.
One of the trios is called The Best Mum. Take a look:
This trio is inspired by gorgeous springtime blooms and is the perfect ode to all the mommies. And in case you get an attack of the day sweats when it comes to all gift giving situations like I do, here, I fixed Mother’s Day for you. Best blogger ever, is what you’re thinking.
First up is You Lilac You Could Use a Break:
This one is a delicate lilac creme loaded with a ton of golden shimmer with a pile of happiness and joy on the side. It’s just one of the best spring colors you’ll find, and that golden glow is over the top pretty. I just want to squeeeeee! while looking at it. At any moment, I expect a surprise Leonardo sighting, cuz that’s just how good our day is going. Best day EVER I’m pretty sure.
Closer look at that shimmer action:
See? Who wants to lick that one just a bit? All of us little weirdos, no doubt.
Some mediocre nail art:
So naturally I took this lovely little manicure, and did something hideous to it. Ugh. In my mind though, this looked fabulous. I was gonna make a Mother’s Day bouquet right on mah nails! Clearly, I gave up too soon. I am not good at goals, let’s just say.
Used the new Uber Chic Beauty Mother’s Day plate, though, and it’s a good one.
Next up is Peony For Your Thoughts:
Okay, this is next level gorgeous. Like, before I was just doing that smiling to myself with my eyes closed thing – you know, the one where I look like a complete idiot but still kind of normal – but now it’s official drool bucket season, and it’s about to get suuuuuuuper unattractive in here. Gah! Hubby, look away! I’m warning you now.
This one is a fresh peach creme loaded with those same golden shimmers. Buy this one. I’m serious.
More nail art:
Maybe only half a notch better. Sorry, guys. I tried, but then stamp all the things took over, and before I knew it there was chaos and it was EVERYWHERE. Is your OCD twitching? Yep, mine too.
Used both the Uber Chic Beauty 15-02 and 15-03 plates for this “design” in case you’re curious. (You’re not. We’re moving on.)
Lastly, here’s That’s Ranunculus:
Well, you’d knew there’d have to be a pink one, didn’t you? Of course you did! Pink is a necessity when it comes to spring. And this one is very dainty. You can practically hear it begging for a cappuccino in a tiny cup. And possibly a sandwich. Is the Queen handy? We’re gonna need her too. Cuz there’s a tea party about to happen, I just know it.
Last of the nail art:
This one is better. Don’t ask why my brain said BLUE ROSES! like it made sense or something. But it’s not an ugly mani. I’m gonna take this brief moment of mojo and freaking RUN. Cuz the nail fails are lurking, they are always always lurking.
Used the rose layered image from the Uber Chic Beauty 12-03 plate in case recreations are in order. And kudos and accolades, you know, if you’re not busy.
The formula on these three polishes are very consistent across the board. They are slightly thicker than average due to the shimmer load, so you may need to add some thinner to help it along. Ordering details will be at the bottom, so hang tight!
The next release is the I See the Light Trio, a set of three gorgeous holographic polishes. These are legit stunning, with special illuminating shimmers for an amazing glowing effect. Here’s proof:
Do you hear angels? Cuz I hear angels.
These three beauties are all very similar; the only difference is the color of shimmer. I’m going to show you all three shades at once, then we’ll talk. Lessss go!
Here is Apparition:
This one has holographic microflakies and turquoise shimmer. It’s very evident in the glare.
Time for macros!
OMG, I peed a little. Seriously, you guys. If you haven’t drooled in a thousand buckets at this point, well you are WRONG. Or you have no eyes. I dunno.
Next one is Ethereal:
This one has those same holographic microflakies plus copper shimmer. It is very hard to stay upright at the moment. The amount of perseverence happening over here is downright superhuman.
A macro EXTRAVAGANZA!
Mercy, I’m sweaty.
Lastly, here’s Rapturous:
Aside from those holographic microflakies we are now officially hardcore in love with, this one has purple shimmer. Dreamy, simply put.
An insane display of pretty:
Welp, you want all those now don’t you? (You do.) The formula is consistent on these three as well. Very easy and smooth to apply. Two, possibly three coats. Lays flat and dries relatively fast. One coat of top coat, and holy moly you’re a fancy lady! Definitely don’t miss these. DON’T DO IT. I mean it. Ordering details at the bottom.
Lastly, we have two special releases for the month of April:
Seriously, who’s got too much time on their hands? Fun with fonts! With jazz hands. I make collages like someone is paying me. They’re not, although WHY? is the actual question.
First up is B(earth)day 2017:
Missi’s birthday is April 22, which also happens to be Earth Day, so now we have TWO reasons to celebrate in case you need an excuse to have a wine cooler on a Monday.
So this one is a steel blue linear holo with added silver holo microglitters. All my blue lovers just died a little, I’m pretty sure. Cuz it’s blingy and holo-y and a two coat dreamboat. Honestly, what more do you need? Well, besides pajamas and a nap with a Starbucks on top.
Under the lamps for funsies:
My eyes, my eyes! You need to buy one bottle of this then 27 backup bottles in case of an accidental painting of all the surfaces.
Finally, here’s Every Piece Belongs:
Since April is Autism Awareness Month, Missi wanted to create a polish to help raise money for the cause. Fifty percent of the proceeds of this limited edition polish will benefit the Autism Society of Indiana, which means you can get a pretty polish and donate to charity with the push of one tiny button. So get your shopping hand ready, cuz you’re adding to cart in about 2.5 seconds.
This adorable polish is a unique baby blue creme loaded with these gorgeous contrasting shimmers. It’s quite elegant, and looks fabulous on the nail. And in case you want to scare the shit out of yourself wondering whose hands are on you at 2 in the morning, it also glows in the dark.
Fun! I’ve never used a glow in the dark polish before, and I’m not saying I sat in the closet for half an hour doing the sign language alphabet, but then again, of course I did.
The round up:
The two trios just released April 1 and are still available at the time of this writing. You can purchase the full set of three or just single bottles, although every bit of this is going in the basket so that point is moot. Here’s the deets:
The Best Mum Mother’s Day Trio is $25 or $8.75 each
I See the Light Trio is $32 or $12 each
As for the April special edition polishes, they will only be available until April 30 so it’s basically a polish emergency. The clock is ticking, and if you’re not properly panicked, well then something is wrong with your brain. They are $10 each just so you know.
Click here for shopping!
That’s it guys. Thank you for reading all the way to the bottom. I know you might’ve had other things to do – maybe groceries or dishes or life in general – so I appreciate you making a bit of room for me. Y’all make writing these 18-hour-long posts so very very worth it. Off to do nails so this blog can happen again tomorrow.