Tag Archives: glam polish

Glam Polish: Glow Collection (partial)

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Today I had to count out 15 french fries and leave the rest on my plate UNEATEN and I am officially the saddest of all things sad.  I mean, what the hell kind of rude shenanigans is that?!  Ugh.  Excuse me while I go ugly cry into my bowl of baby carrots.  Booooooo.  However, if I’m forced to find a silver lining, I’ve lost four pounds.  Which, quite honestly, is the least that can happen considering the miserably unfortunate lack of Cheetos.

Good thing there’s nail polish!  I have a whooooole lotta gorgeousness from Glam Polish to share with you today.  Rachel sent over 5 out of 9 shades from the new limited edition Glow collection, and I swear if you like you some shimmer and sparkle and general yummy deliciousness, you’re gonna wanna get your wallet handy CUZ TIME WASTING IS A THING FOR OTHER PEOPLE.  Take a look:

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Welp.  Already with the jaw dropping.  Seriously, can we ever be normal, even just for a little bit?  NOT TODAY!  It’s 27 levels of tongue lolling scenarios for you.

The Glow Collection is a set of 9 shimmery, sparkling shades inspired by the Gorgeous Ladies of Wresting from the hit Netflix show, Glow.  I vaguely remember the old GLOW on tv back in the late 80s, but then Full House happened and … well, we all know what kind of rabbit hole that turned out to be.

Anyway.  You’re buying these, just so you know.

THE SHE WOLF

DESCRIPTION:  A grey crelly with shifting multichrome flakies and fine holo microglitter

OPACITY:  Two coats plus top coat

OMG, are you seeing this?  The holo!  The flakies!  The rainbow shifty goodness!  For real, y’all got some smelling salts handy cuz I’ll take a thousand.

BRITANNICA

DESCRIPTION:  A bright plum with strong purple/blue/red shimmer and silver ultra holo glitter

OPACITY:  Two coats plus top coat

And then a billion purple lovers just passed the hell on out now. It’s gorgeous huh? I’m in love with all those glowy holo thingies. (Technical term. I’m sooo good at blogging, you guys!)

WELFARE QUEEN

DESCRIPTION:  A holographic base with shifting multichrome flakies, red/gold shifting microglitter, copper, rose, bronze and gold microglitter and silver ultra holo glitter

OPACITY:  Two coats plus top coat

SO. MUCH. BLING.  And legit flakie business to like the trillionth degree.  This one is my faaaaavorite, y’all.  I want it on all the surfaces, mine AND yours.  COMPLETE RATIONAL BEHAVIOR, just to be clear.

JUNKCHAIN

DESCRIPTION:  A denim blue jelly with shifting multichrome flakies, silver ultra holo glitter and fine holo microglitter

OPACITY:  Two coats plus top coat

Basically, a bonafide ocean of lovely.  Wanna go swimming?  I do.

LIBERTY BELLE

DESCRIPTION:  A silvery white holographic crelly with blue/red/purple shimmer and silver ultra holo glitter

OPACITY:  Two coats plus top coat

Well, let’s just go out with a bang then. Doesn’t this one look yummy? Okay, the urge to lick all of these has reached a dire, unprofessional level. Seriously. Send help. 

THE ROUND UP 

Who’s still upright?  Not a dadgum one of us, pretty sure.

This collection is available now, so there’s no excuse for not shopping.  Unless you don’t like pretty things. Or maybe you are a robot.  But other than that, NOTHING.  Get on it, boo boos!  Here’s your deets:

Full set of 9 shades retails for $108; however if you purchase by Tuesday, October 10/31 at 2pm EST you can save 10%.  Oooooh, a coupon!  We’re doing that then.  First in line?  That be YOU.

Oh, and single bottles are $12 each (if you must).

Where to buy:  http://www.glampolish.com.au

Shipping rates to the US are $3.80 for the first polish and an extra $1.00 for each additional polish.  Glam Polish also ships international – click here for the list of countries.  Then go tossing nail polish in the shopping cart like NO BIG DEAL.

The linky loos!  Connect with Glam Polish:

Instagram

Facebook

Fan Group

Okay, gang.  You know what to do.  Spend money, buy nail polish, be happy.  REPEAT.  Write it down in case there’s a quiz.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Glam Polish: Iconic Chicago Collection 

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It’s Sunday, y’all, otherwise known as the last day to have booze in your coffee.  Make sure you take full advantage, cuz you’ve got five days ahead of you full of NO BOOZE regular coffee, which is quite possibly the lamest thing the Universe has ever done.  Well, that and business casual.  Seriously, was 7th grade Spirit Week NOT the best, most grade-A producing week ever, directly related to the fact you got to wear pajamas in public?  Let’s do more of that, then!  Pretty sure more spreadsheets get done while wearing a jumbo t-shirt and no pants at your desk.  OMG, an Employee of the Month award is lurking, guys, I just know it.

In the meantime, let’s look at pretty things!  Glam Polish is headed to the Polish Con event in Chicago, and these beauties are tagging along:

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A bonafide flakie EXTRAVAGANZA!  Plus drool and noodle legs and other ladylike-type scenarios.

Polish Con in Chicago is coming up on September 23 so Rachel made this awesome Iconic Chicago collection exclusively for the event. Each polish is named after characters and movies from Chicago’s history, and I’ve listed them alongside each swatch. Cuz although I might be the most derpy-est person on the planet, occasionally I can also be a proper blogger – or at least make 18,000 attempts.

Here’s your color rundown. Brace yourself, cuz it’s about to get suuuuuper pass-out-y in approximately 2.5 seconds. Grab your smelling salts for SAFETY.  Lessss go!

KEEP THE CHANGE YA FILTHY ANIMAL 

DESCRIBED as an amethyst jelly with ultra holo glitter, fine holo microglitter, color shifting iridescent glitter and color shifting iridescent flakies

INSPIRED by a quote from the movie Home Alone

I did three coats on three fingers and BIZARRELY, just two coats on my ring finger.  I’m not even gonna tell you I was polishing with one eye sleeping, cuz quite honestly, you already know.  In any case, it looks pretty good in two coats but I believe three deepens the color somewhat.  Other swatchers got it opaque in two coats, though, so clearly I’m not very good at nails.  Bah.

WE’RE PUTTING THE BAND BACK TOGETHER 

DESCRIBED as a dark berry jelly packed with strong purple/green/blue shimmer and holographic flakies

INSPIRED by the Blues Brothers

Did two coats on ALL four fingers here, so I’ll take a horn toot if y’all not busy.  This one looks flat-out YUMMY, though; four nails of grape Jolly Rancher goodness.  Purple lovers, pay attention!  27 bottles in the shopping cart just makes sense.

ALL I DO IS SUPPLY A DEMAND 

DESCRIBED as a dusty lavender crelly with subtle holo, shifting multichrome flakies and gold, bright pink and rose holographic microglitters

INSPIRED by Al Capone

Only two coats for this one cuz suddenly we’re having a brief moment of mojo and things are working out perfectly. Of course, Glam’s formula is one of the best, most consistent formulas you’ll ever find, but in pure ME fashion, I tend to muck things up anyway. NOT THIS TIME!  Two coats and done. Weeee!

FLAKIE ON THE LAKIE 

DESCRIBED as a blue tinted holographic jelly with ultra holo glitter and indigo/green/purple shifting iridescent flakies

INSPIRED by Chicago in general; it was named by one of the members of the Glam Polish Facebook fan group

This one is my absolute favorite of the bunch!  Two coats of dreamboat, and I’m the most unattractive mess you’ve ever seen. But it glows, guys; it simply glows. And my brain has just literally left the dadgum building. 

OKAY BOYS; LET’S GO MAKE A WITHDRAWAL 

DESCRIBED as a bright violet packed with crimson shimmer and indigo/purple/red shifting multichrome flakies

INSPIRED by John Dillinger

WAIT. Now this one is glowing. Ughhhhhhhh. At this rate, we’ll never make it to the end of this blog. How two coats of this ever made it on my nails is a damn near miracle.  Cuz it’s hard to do nails while melting into a big puddle of goo.

Purple lovers!  How happy are you right now? (VERY.)

THAT’S THE CHICAGO WAY 

DESCRIBED as an intense holo with ultra holographic glitter, fine gold holo microglitter and a mix of three shades of color shifting multichrome flakies

INSPIRED by a quote from the movie, The Untouchables

Oooooh, party nails!  Or napping nails, if you’re me. Regardless, two coats so you can polish and then move on with your fancy life.

THE ROUND UP

As I mentioned, this collection is made exclusively for the Polish Con event in Chicago on September 23, so if you’re heading that way, GET ON IT, BOO BOOS!  There’s a limited quantity available and you don’t wanna miss out.  If by some miracle there are leftovers, Rachel will put them in the Glam Polish store on September 29 at 2pm EST.  I know that’s roughly eons away with light years and eternities on top, so setting 17 alarms makes the most sense.

If you need tickets to Polish Con, you can buy them here:  http://polishconvention.bigcartel.com/information-about-events

If you need (to buy me) a Starbucks gift-card-of-gratitude, go here:  http://www.starbucks.com

You know, just in case you’re in a clicking mood.

To sum up, Polish Con go-ers are the luckiest people in the world.  However, the rest of us might get our chance!  Be sure to follow Glam Polish on all their social media for updates.  Cuz if leftovers are happening, who’s going to be first in line?  EVERY DADGUM ONE OF US, that’s who.  The linky loos:

Instagram

Facebook

Fan Group

To keep up with all things Polish Con, join the group by clicking here.  And then get back in pajamas cuz GOOD LORDT all the clicking!  Y’all can officially lounge on couches for the rest of the day.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Glam Polish: Made in Manehattan Collection 

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Current status:  on the couch after dinner, pants unbuttoned, fat hanging out.  Hubby treated me to a really nice meal after work, and all was going well.  Then the gourmet french fries came out WITH MAYONNAISE DIPPING SAUCE! and basically if someone had rolled a wheelie cart over and offered me some walking assistance, I would have damn well taken it.   Seriously, if it’s my ladylike composure that impresses you most, DO NOT EVER put potatoes-anything on the table.  Just don’t do it.  It causes divorce, if I’m not mistaken.  Ugh.

And now I’m just sitting here being the most sexy wife that ever lived.  At least I’m not drooling though.  I mean, not yet anyway.

Cuz there’s polish coming.  And it’s Glam Polish, which has a 97.84854% chance of drool buckets, at minimum.  So let’s get unattractive together shall we, cuz that’s what best friends do.  Here’s the new Made in Manehattan collection:

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Moany-y throat noises are about to come out.  Gah!  Words are proving to be var var hard right now.

The Made in Manehattan collection is a set of six cute shimmery shades inspired by the show, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.  And now we’re all about to spend some money cuz MY LITTLE PONY?!  It’s all my childhood dreams come true!  Toss in a room full of office supplies, and DREAM SCENARIO sounds about right.

Clearly, I’ve been a little weirdo for a very long time.

I’m gonna keep it somewhat short and sweet, as the five pastels are all the same in terms of formula and application.  I do have some nail art mixed in, though, so don’t scroll too fast. And then there’s a most stunning glitter topper at the end.  OMG, who’s getting pee-your-pants excited?  EVERY DADGUM ONE OF US, that’s who.

First up is Equestria Games – a light pastel lemon with subtle pink shimmer:

Close up of the goodies:

And then I added that glitter topper I was telling you about.  I can’t even stand how gorgoeus this is.  For real, I could look at it for days if there still wasn’t about 7,387 other blogs to write.

Kinda cute nail art:

Y’all know I have a love/hate relationship with my arting.  This one gets half a horn toot.  Used the new Uber Chic Beauty Unicorn Love plate if you’re curious.

Next is The Mane Attraction – a light pastel lavender with subtle pink shimmer:

Mood lighting.  Perfect for tongue lolling in secrecy.  But also makes for a pretty exquisite macro:

Still decent nail art:

A miracle might be happening!  That’s two not very hideous nail arts in a row!  Is there an award coming next?  I think YES.

Used the What’s Up Nails B002 plate for this one.

Now here’s Ponyville Confidential – a light pastel peach with subtle peach shimmer:

Some simple stamping:

I felt like this color needed something tropical.  I think it turned out okay.  I mean, it’s better than that meth owl I accidentally made, and for that, we are all grateful.  Used the new Uber Chic Beauty Vacation Mode plate here, which has some super cute images on it.  I recommend!

Here is No Second Prances – a light pastel blue with subtle pink shimmer:

Scroll past this one:


Bye bye mojo!  Meh.  Used the Uber Chic Beauty Unicorn Love plate again, and kinda failed a little bit.  Any kudos and accolades you wanna toss out for this one?  No?  Okay.  NEXXXXXXT.

This is Hearts and Hooves – a light pastel pink with subtle pink shimmer:

A slight reprieve:

The design turned out slightly more subtle than expected, but I didn’t throw any stamping plates across the room, so look who’s acting mature all of a sudden.

(Me, to be clear.  I KNOW, we’re all surprised.)

Used the What’s Up Nails B018 plate for this one.

So about that glitter topper.  Here’s The Crystal Empire – full of shifty iridescence with strong pink shimmer in a clear base:

I did three coats on naked nails, and it covers pretty good, although it looks way more awesome over a white base.  Of which I have none to show you because I am a PROFESSIONAL BLOGGER EXTRAORDINAIRE.

I don’t plan things very well, clearly.  But if you’ll scroll back up, all the macros with the topper on top – freaking MAGICAL. In one effortless coat, and well, you had me at effortless.

And then I officially ruined this blog:

Seriously, stamping with your eyes closed is never a good thing.  This is 27 levels of hideous at the minimum.  I kinda feel like just deleting it real quick, but once the pajamas go on, not much else happens after that.  In other words, a nap is coming soon.

Used the Uber Chic Beauty Garden Love plate in case recreations are in order. Bahahahahahahaha.

Ugh.

The round up:

As mentioned earlier, the formula on all the pastels are exactly the same.  I did three coats on each one, although two coats was really close to opaque for me.  Application was very smooth and easy, and the layers leveled out perfectly.  No streaks, no gloop, no cuss words, no crying.  I don’t know how Glam Polish does it every time, but finding a bad one is nigh on impossible.

The Made in Manehattan collection released earlier today, so head over to the Glam Polish store and toss a bunch of pretties in the cart.  I mean, you were just hanging around in your sweatpants doing nothing anyway.  Deets:

Single bottles are $12

Full collection is $72 but if you purchase by Tuesday, July 4 at 2pm EST, you’ll snag it for $64.80.  So get on it, boo boos!  Cuz you’re a Crazy Nail Lady, that’s why.  Click here for shopping!

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Glam Polish: Mermaid at Heart Collection 

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What I learned during vacation #247:

You can go to a museum and take pictures of your nails in front of all the art for at least 2 hours and that is COMPLETELY NORMAL BEHAVIOR. Cuz in the background, ART. And in the foreground, ALSO ART. Clearly. 

What I learned after vacation #123:

Apparently, I have to not be home for over a week if I want my cat to love on me.  Seriously, it was like a movie-style reunion when I walked in the door.  I mean, Leonardo was nowhere to be seen, but other than that, it was a straight up tear jerking movie scene EXTRAVAGANZA.

Then hubby walks through the door, and suddenly MOVIE OVER.  Ugh.  Why that cat loves him most is beyond me.  Cuz who doesn’t want to be force-held like a baby and loved in a smother-y, stalker-y kind of way?  Damn near nobody, that’s who.

But it always comes back to nail polish, my true BFF.  I have another awesome set from Glam Polish to show you today.  I’ve got 5 out of 10 polishes from the Mermaid at Heart collection, and if you love you some flakies, well then you’re about to have a var var good day.

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See?  Heart eyes times a billion.  Lolling tongues are coming, I just know it.
First up is Life is the Bubbles:

This one is a bright azure blue jelly with green/purple/indigo iridescent flakies, green/purple iridescent flakies and fine holo microglitter. I did two coats on this one, but as you can see, my nail line still shows through a bit.  I’m thinking a third coat would’ve been better here, but naturally I have no proof.  BEST BLOGGER EVER, is what you’re thinking.  Despite that though, it’s a glorious blue shade.  On yer nails, stat!

Macro time:

OMG.  Dying!  Dead! Seriously, the rest of this blog may never get done.  

This color just begs for a mermaid mani:

So of course I did whatever this is instead.  Sorry guys.  Sometimes I stamp with my eyes closed.

In case recreations are in order (they’re not), I used the new Uber Chic Beauty 18 -01 plate for this one.

Next up is It’s a Shore Thing:

This one is a bright pink jelly with green/purple iridescent flakies, pink/purple/green iridescent flakies and fine holo microglitter.  How amazingly in-your-face flashy!  This time around, I did do three coats and things turned out much better.  Colors like these make my fingers look so much less sausage-y, and for that fact alone, I lub it lots.  

More macros with a side of noodle legs:

My eyes, my eyes!  Y’all are getting this one, I’ve already decided.

Don’t look down:

GAH!  You looked.  I dunno guys.  My mojo’s done took a vacay or something.  Blah.  However, an attempt was made so that gets me half a horn toot, at least.

I used the Uber Chic Beauty 18-01 plate on this one too – and while there is absolutely nothing wrong with the plate (let’s be clear), there is definitely a problem with my brain.  One should not STAMP ALL THE THINGS, let’s just say.

Now here’s The Seaweed is Always Greener:

This one is a sea green crelly with green/purple/indigo iridescent flakies, blue/purple iridescent flakies, iridescent microglitter, hint of turquoise microflakies and fine holo microglitter, and man oh man, THIS COLOR!  I mean, where there is green there is also me trying desperately to keep my mouth from gaping.  Cuz there’s only so much sexy to go around while holding a drool bucket.  Seriously.  I checked.

Macros, out of order cuz my brain’s done gone somewhere:

If I wasn’t blinded by love, the OCD would be kicking in so hardcore right now.  And if y’all have no idea what I’m talking about, well enjoy your anxiety free life, then.  Cuz it’s a big ball of crazy over here.

Some super simple nail art:

I don’t hate this, although it wasn’t my first attempt.  I had something ghastly stamped in black on top first that I tried to remove (somewhat unsuccessfully) with Scotch tape.  Then I stamped on some blue lines using the Uber Chic Beauty Texture-licious 2 plate cuz I thought it would hide the black remnants, although clearly that is not the case.  In other words, I MEANT TO DO ALL OF THIS, and you love everything about it, the end.

Next is Just Keep Swimming, Swimming, Swimming:

This one is a sapphire blue jelly with pink/purple/green flakies and fine holo microglitter, and all you blue lovers just died a little bit.  Are you sweaty?  Drool-y?  Generally unattractive?  Yep.  Me too.  Glam Polish gets me pass-out-y every single time.

Will the macros ever end?  NO.

Angels are singing, I’m almost certain.  

Okay, I like this one:

FINALLY!  And I don’t even know why, cuz it’s pretty simple and no frills.  However, when the mojo comes, we just roll with it.  It’s got one foot out the door anyway.

I used the Uber Chic Beauty 18-01 plate once again if you’re curious. (You might be this time!)

Lastly, here’s Secrets in the Sand:

This one has a clear base with a mix of pink/purple/green, green/purple, blue/purple/green, and green/purple/indigo iridescent flakies and fine holo microglitter. You can use it as a topper over any color like I’ve done here, or over naked nails which you’ll see in my nail art shot below.  Either way, it’s flakie action at it’s finest, and we’re all just big puddles of goo by now.

Last of the macros, right before your checkbook goes bye bye:

Three coats over nakies:

And some final nail art:

I used this cool lace pattern from the new Lina License to be Sexy 01 plate on this one, and I think it looks pretty nice.  Might not win an award or anything like that, but if a Starbucks is coming, that sounds about right.  Cuz effort is hard on a Saturday.

The round up:

The Mermaid at Heart collection is available now, so how lucky are you? (Very.)  Plus, if you purchase within the next 24 hours, you will get the whole set for $108 versus $120.  Whaaaaaaat?!  Almost free!  Also, single bottles are $12 if you choose to go that route – although WHYYYYYY? is the actual question.

In case you’re curious, here’s descriptions of the other 5 polishes.  All fabulous, no worries:

The Tide is High – an indigo jelly with blue/purple and green/purple iridescent flakies and fine holo microglitter

Let the Sea Set You Free – a teal crelly with pink/purple/green iridescent flakies and fine holo microglitter

Dream Big Little Mermaid – a dark purple jelly with pink/purple/green and blue/purple iridescent flakies and fine holo microglitter

Mermaid Kisses & Starfish Wishes – a fuchsia jelly with pink/gold/green and pink/purple/green iridescent flakies, shifting iridescent microglitter and fine holo microglitter

Wish Upon a Clownfish – a watermelon jelly with red/gold iridescent flakies, shifting iridescent glitter and fine holo microglitter

And in case y’all don’t just toss nail polish in your cart all willy nilly like me, click here for swatches of everything from my pal Alicia.  And then click here for shopping, cuz it’s the right thing to do. Cuz FLAKIES, guys.  Flakies.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Glam Polish: Dance With Dragons Collection 

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Something has happened to the weather.  I had to get my coat back out of the closet today, which was both stupid AND ridiculous since it took a whooooooole lot of effort to put it in the closet in the first place.  Cuz things just don’t get done around here sometimes, or at least not on any normal-sized kind of time frame.  I have what hubby likes to call A PROBLEM, which may or may not be true, but look at mah nails! though, and I’m sorry, what is your question?

Listen, I can’t be expected to do all the things.  How is Dancing with the Stars gonna get watched if I have to go be putting coats in closets all day?  And NAIL BLOGGER EXTRAORDINAIRE doesn’t just happen by itself, ya know?  Besides, I have these three adorable little stories to tell that wouldn’t exist if I had all my shit together:

1.  I left my Christmas tree up until well past Valentine’s Day.  It’s amazing how you can completely ignore something for so long, even though it is huge, has blinking lights, and is standing right next to the television.  The only reason it got put away finally is because someone else did it.  Cuz who honestly wants to shove a ginormous tree back into a teeny tiny box?  NOT ME.

2.  I had winter sweaters in a laundry basket on my floor for so long, at some point I was just able to wear them again.  There’s a math problem in there for you, if you’re interested.  Currently, I have another pile in my bedroom that has items in it from the vacation I took in 2015.  How I still manage to have OCD is beyond allllll the comprehensions.  

3.  After a pretty consistent month-long stint at the gym, I continued to pay for the membership for about three years afterwards cuz in order to cancel they made you do it in person.  Which would work just fine if there was a Starbucks in there, but since there wasn’t, I suppose paying $25 for the next 36 months for no reason whatsoever would be the logical next step.  Good thing my debit card just eventually expired or else I might own the gym by now.

So yeah, I am quite the catch, you might say.  Hubby loves being married to me, I just know it.

Oh, but the polish!  I have some pretty ones to show you today.  I received 5 out of the 10 shades from the new Glam Polish Dance with Dragons collection, inspired by the Game of Thrones tv series.  And if you love you some multichromes, we’ll you’re about to have the best day ever then.

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Told ya.  You’re gonna need a thousand drool buckets or at least someone to hold your mouth closed, cuz the lolling tongues – well, they are everywhere.

First up is The Dance of Dragons:

This one is a green/blue/red multichrome with green/purple shifting microglitter, ultra holo glitter, iridescent shifting glitter and fine holo microglitter.  That’s basically all the glitters if you’re keeping track.

Multichromes can be hard to photograph, and I’ll admit I had a hard time catching the shift the way I wanted.  But these macros turned out rather delicious:

Mercy.  If this one ends up on all your surfaces, no one’s surprised.

Some nail art I did:

Used the new Uber Chic Beauty Texture-licious 2 plate for this one.  It turned out okay.  I mean, no trophies are coming, but it’s still a decent mani.

Next up is Kissed by Fire:

This one is a red/gold/copper multichrome with red/gold shifting microglitter, ultra holo glitter, shifting iridescent glitter and fine holo microglitter and OMG who just fell in love super hardcore?  This looks like melted gold or liquid fire.  It’s just so dreamy.  Anytime I see colors like this, though, it’s a noodle leg epidemic.  Staying upright is nigh on impossible.

Ready for sleepy.  Cuz how cozy is this?

It’s like the best pile of blankets you’ve ever snuggled in.  Plus a bunch of kitties.  HEAVEN.

Something simple:

Used the Uber Chic Beauty Texture-licious 2 plate again, and I will say I do not hate this.  But that’s about all I’m gonna say.  NEXT.

Now here’s The Lion and the Rose:

This one is a red/violet/gold/green multichrome with shifting multichrome flakies, shifting iridescent glitter, and fine holographic microglitter.  Brain. Stopped. Working.  GUYS.  It just got super pass-out-y in here.  How the rest of this blog is getting written, well, it’s basically a crapshoot.

Moan-y throat noises ahead:

Uhhhhhhhnnnnnnnn.  See?

This one is okay:

A bit more effort involved, what with the taping off of half my nail and whatnot.  I semi-thought this one through, although we’re riding on the edge of stamping all the things.  Thankfully I got distracted by a sandwich, or who knows where we’d be right now.  Hot mess, at the minimum.

Used the Uber Chic Beauty Texture-Licious 2 plate AGAIN again and the Lina Feeling Shapely 09 for the gold horizontal lines, you know, in case recreations are in order.

Next is The Wars to Come:

This one is a cyan/blue/violet sheer multichrome with a mix of shifting multichrome flakies, fine holographic glitter and a hint of shifting iridescent microglitter.  It’s all your purple polish dreams come true, plus pajamas.  If there’s not 27 bottles of this in your shopping cart, I am var var concerned about the state of your brain.

Drooling, level EXPERT:

I mean, 27 bottles plus back-up bottles.  Cuz rational behavior is for other people.

Kinda like this one!

Finally!  It’s so simple, but I think the silver and hot pink look good on this.  How’s that for a brief moment of mojo?  I hope there’s a gift card coming, cuz effort should be rewarded, that’s why.

Used the Lina Feeling Shapely 09 plate if you’re curious.  (You are this time!)

Lastly, here’s Rains of Castamere:

This one is a violet/blue/red multichrome with blue/red shifting microglitter, ultra holo glitter and fine holographic microglitter.  Seriously, double the purple!  Who just died a little?  Ugh.  And this is my fave kind of purple too.  A red-toned one.  Legit no joke happiness in a bottle.

To seal the deal:

Bye bye checkbook.

Sorry about this one:

What can I say, it was 2 in the morning and my nose was running in a most unattractive way.  The fact it even exists is really quite the miracle.  Cuz even though I am sick and snotty and snorty and gross, I am also a dadgum professional who gets shit DONE.  Well, just nail shit, that is.  I mean, you read the top of this blog right?  You didn’t just jump in here in the middle like a crazy person?

Used the Lina Feeling Shapely 09 plate again.  Clearly I love it in a stalker-y, smother-y kinda way.

The round up:

As mentioned before, I received 5 out of the 10 polishes in this collection.  Just for funsies, here is what else you can get:

Dark Wings, Dark Words – a sapphire/violet/red multichrome with all the glitters

Mother’s Mercy – a purple/violet/green multichrome with shifting multichrome flakies and more glitters

The Bear and the Maiden Fair – a pink/red/copper with red/gold shifting microglitter plus all those other glitters

Winds of Winter – a cyan/blue/purple/red multichrome with the glitters

The Mountain and the Viper – a sapphire/cyan/green multichrome with shifting multichrome flakies, blue/red shifting microglitters and those same glitters

Okay, someone got lazy about that glitter thing.  Not even sorry about it.  Maybe 2%.

To see swatches of the entire collection, take a look at my pal, Cheyenne’s, blog by clicking here.  Now once you are fully informed and adequately convinced, let’s spend some money:

Whole set of 10 retails for $120 but you can snag it for $108 if you purchase during the first 96 hours.

Single bottles are $12 (although a moot point since all 10 are in the basket)

This collection releases tomorrow, May 4th at 2pm EST.  Set alarms, write a billion Post-It notes and rearrange your schedules.  Glam Polish up top, people!  To shop, click here!

Congratulations on your good decision.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Glam Polish: Technicolor World Collection 

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Before you go thinking I’ve got it all under control, lemme just say I about strangled myself trying to remove my bra without taking off my shirt, cuz you don’t get to Lazy, Level EXPERT by going the extra mile.  Although considering how much cardio was accidentally involved, dealing with the shirt might’ve been slightly less sweaty.   And we all know how unattractive I can be when a bit of effort is made.  I don’t sweat like a lady, let’s just say.

Listen, I know it’s not good to be this way.  But when you have a husband who randomly brings you sandwiches, what other choice is there?  Like, who’s getting up to make their own sandwich, when – if you wait long enough – one will just appear in your hand like magic?  Crazy people, that’s who.  Plus, he once told me I was a princess, and I don’t know if this is what he had in mind or not, but I’m just gonna sit here in pajamas for the next 47 years just in case.

It’s no secret I’ve never been one for activities.  You don’t read 72 books over the course of the year by running a dadgum marathon.  And since I refuse to pee my pants in public, looks like aerobics is out of the question.  In fact, the safest thing for me to do is nothing.  Cuz the one time I decide to jump on a trampoline wearing boots, I sprain an ankle and had to shave one leg so I could go get an x-ray.  Ugh.  Effort.  Such a dirty word.

Having said all that, I DO do things.  Have you read this blog before?  I mean, the nails don’t just happen all by themselves.  Just because I’m sitting in a chair for six hours straight wearing a robe and no pants on doesn’t mean I’m not working.  I might be overachieving if you want to be honest about it.  Granted, no laundry or dishes or husbands is getting done, but THAT POINT – well that point is simply moot.

So while we contemplate the importance of an idle life, let’s talk polish!  I have 5 out of 10 polishes from the Glam Polish Technicolor World collection to share with you today.  This collection was inspired by the costumes, set and music from the movie LaLa Land.  They’re all bright, vibrant and super gorgeous.  You like holo and flakies and immeasurable levels of happiness?  Then how lucky are you about to be?  Take a look:

Woah.  Okay, immediately your day just got better.  Cuz you’ve got no business being gloomy while these are in the room.  I mean, GUYS, there’s neon in there!  Bad moods are scientifically impossible at this point.  Complete with 17 charts and graphs and maybe an Excel spreadsheet, to be safe.

First up is Another Day of Sun:

Welp, let’s get the smiling like an idiot part out of the way first, shall we?  Perhaps you need to go off by yourself for a second, lest someone walk in on you while you’ve got your eyes closed, looking stupid.  Seriously, I have to blog in a separate room otherwise hubby be there lurking with the judgy eyes.  Cuz apparently minding his own business is option #2756 on a list of things he’s not doing.   I mean, certainly there’s like 17 different tv programs that needs an emergency click-through, right?  Can he not just hold the remote and look straight ahead like a proper husband?

In other words, keep the sandwiches coming or else what is the point of you?  Seriously though, WHAT IS THE POINT?

So this one is a bright yellow base loaded with pink shimmer, a hint of holo and a splash of fine holo microglitter.  The shimmer is very hard to catch on camera, but in person it’s very evident and is the most addicting thing about this polish.  You gotta this one on your nails, stat.  For real.  DO IT.

A macro EXTRAVAGANZA!

See?  You’re about to spend some money, I can already tell.

Some nail art I did:

Thought I’d take inspiration from that pink shimmer and do some pink gradient stamping. I used the Uber Chic Beauty Yay Spring plate and did a floral pattern for spring. I’m kinda really diggin it, which is quite a departure from the nail fails I’m normally doing.  Hooray for a brief moment of mojo!

Next is It’s a One Woman Show:

Alright, what is even happening right now?  Hope y’all got a Plan B for the day cuz I’ll just be over here trying to attach my jaw back to my face.  Ugh.  How the rest of this blog is getting written is a science experiment waiting to happen, you know, if y’all not busy.  Let me know how it goes cuz it’s about to get suuuuuper pass-out-y over here.  This polish = DEAD.

So this one has a bright pink base with the most exquisite blue/purple shimmer, ultra holo glitter and fine holo microglitter.  Seriously, anyone have a drool bucket handy?  Imma need a thousand of them.  LEGIT no typo.  A thousand, at the minimum.

Prepare yourself.  Now scroll:

Are you hot?  Cuz I’m hot.  The shimmer got me, guys.  It got me good.

Actual cute nail art:

Although it’s a pretty simple design, I really like how it turned out.  That’s two good ones in a row, if you’re doing math for funsies, although WHY? is the actual question.   

Used the Moyra Fabric Texture 20 plate that I picked up from the Cosette Nail Shop.  I love all my Moyras and highly recommend you pick up a few.  And by few I mean all of them cuz no one does crazy nail lady quite like you.

Now here’s I’ll See You in the Movies:

Just because there’s a perpetual state of robe-wearing happening at the moment doesn’t mean you can’t bring the sex every once in a while.  These are your date night nails, your hot mama nails.  The nails you wear when you want to feel less sweatpants-y but also still be in sweatpants.  Well, if you’re me, that is.  All the rest of you, I’m sure, can figure out more proper uses that doesn’t require a nap for good measure.

This one is a red scattered holo with shifting flakies, holo flakies, ultra holo glitter and fine holo microglitter.  Opaque in almost one coat, which works out perfect for those who like to do quick nails and then go be productive and accomplish some shit.  So, like, opposite of me, then.  Cuz I do nails with a splash of other things, like breathing with a touch of dishes thrown in so hubby won’t divorce me.  

Time for drool!

Holy moly, that’s a pretty red.  No sense in being basic about it, I always say.  Bahaha.  Just kidding.  Cuz SWEATPANTS, remember?

My favorite nail art:

For real, I don’t even know who I am anymore.  How does this mani exist without a minimum of 18 stupid things on it?  I’m starting to get suspicious, like perhaps I’ve been kidnapped and I don’t even know it.  Who is doing this nail art, cuz it’s certainly not me.  A facsimile of me, maybe.

Used the Moyra Fabric Texture 20 plate again, which means it’s official:  to the Cosette Nail Shop you go!  Buying all the plates, spending all the money.   As you do.

This one is Why Do You Say Romantic Like it’s a Dirty Word?:

Hubby just came in here and brought me a sandwich. Told ya.  At some point, the sandwiches just appear.

So this one is a light gold intense holo with pink and peach shimmer and holo flakies.  Again, opaque in about one coat, although I did two just be sure.  Plus, this one has that kind of addicting formula where if you’re not paying attention, there might be an accidental Polish Mountain situation in progress.  Although, good thing I give up easy, cuz goals have never been my strong suit.  Which surprises no one, I’m pretty sure.

More macros, more drool:

You can really see that pink and peach shimmer popping out, and that’s what makes this gold extra special.  If I’m not mistaken, you’re buying one bottle and then 27 back-up bottles.  Right?  Right.

Then I did this thing:

THERE IT IS.  While it’s not necessarily a fail, I can sense the mojo slipping a bit. Although, I’m mildly relieved cuz I’m not ready to commit to being too good at anything. Cuz I fixed the work copier just ONE time back in 2008, and now apparently I am a copier repairman with a side of doing my actual job.  No, the expectation of being an expert is just too much to bear sometimes.

Used the Uber Chic Beauty Mandala Love plate on this one in case you’re curious.

Lastly, here’s What a Waste of a Lovely Night:

My eyes, my eyes!  Gah!  Who wants this one on all the surfaces, everywhere?  All my blue lovers, get on it!  This is your perfect blue, your one coat dreamboat.  Might as well be a basketful of kitties based on how hardcore you’re not walking away.  I mean, kitties with a Leonardo and a skosh of Starbucks on top, to be more specific. It’s straight up everything you’ve ever wanted.  Seriously.  I dare you to determine otherwise.  

Barely any description is needed for this beauty.  She’s an intense indigo holo.  FULL STOP.  And she’s headed for the shopping cart whether you like it or not.

Let’s seal the deal:

A little cutie patootie:

We’re ending this blog on a high note, k?  I was going to do a galaxy mani on this one, but got tired just thinking about it, so I did this easy version instead.  And I don’t hate it, so toots on the ole horn for me, then!

Used the layered star and circle image from the Uber Chic Beauty 12-03 plate, in case recreations are in order.  (They are, to be clear.)

The round up:

 

The Technical World collection released yesterday so we’re all good to go for shopping.  The entire set is $120 but if you get your priorities straight within the next 48 hours, you can score a 10% discount.  Weeee!  Also, single bottles are $12, although we’ve already decided you’re not doing this.  You’re committing to all 10 cuz I help you make good decisions.

In case you are curious, here are the names and descriptions of the other 5 polishes I didn’t swatch:

City of Stars – lilac crelly with shifting iridescent glitter and fine holo microglitter

Someone in the Crowd:  cobalt blue crelly with iridescent flakies, shifting flakies, holo flakies and fine holo microglitter

Here’s to the Ones Who Dream – jade scattered holo with shifting flakies, holo flakies, ultra holo glitter and fine holo microglitter

As Long as it’s Pure Jazz – deep plum intense holo

Chasing All the Lights That Shine – mix of rainbow metallic glitter, shifting iridescent glitter and a hint of fine micro glitter in a clear base

If you’d like to see more swatch photos, check out Polish and Paws.  Tell her I sent you!  Then click here for shopping cuz what else is more important today?  That’s right, nothing.

Later, loves!

Glam Polish: Magical Creations Collection 

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My desk should not be so close to donuts.  And that’s all I’m gonna say about today.

In other news, the diet is going well.  As you might’ve guessed.  I mean, it started out okay.  I had yogurt for breakfast instead of the biscuits and gravy I really wanted.  About 15 minutes after that, I was starving, and then someone brought donuts in and sat them about 10 feet away from me.  WITHOUT supervision of any kind.  Honestly, the display of willpower was downright superhuman.

And so naturally I ate a donut.  Cuz DONUT.  I mean, what is your question?  How do you not eat the donut when you can literally just roll your office chair over there to get one?  If the intention was to not eat the donut, then someone would’ve just brought in a batch of Snickerdoodles instead.   Cuz what is a Snickerdoodle exactly?  That’s right, NOT A DONUT.  So we don’t like Snickerdoodles that much, then.  I can ignore a Snickerdoodle like it’s my damn job.   Anyone in the mood for the most boring cookie on the planet?  Nope, not even one time.

But tomorrow is another day, and I can start from scratch and make better choices.  If I don’t straighten up on the food end, I’m gonna have to start exercising instead, and I don’t take kindly to that behavior one bit.  Cuz I gave myself rug burn in my butt crack once from attempting pilates, and that shit hurts.  My ex husband had to get in there with the Neosporin, which causes divorce if I’m not mistaken.

So pray for my marriage, then, and send some anti-donut vibes my way.  Also, help me remember that only 21 Cheetos is still eating Cheetos despite any type of justification of the contrary on my part.  As a thank you, I’ll continue to write stupid stuff in this blog for all the internet to see.  It’s the least I can do.

Let’s look at pretty things!  I have 5 out of 10 polishes from the the new Glam Polish Magical Creatures Collection to show off for you today.  Who else hears the word iridescent, and then a Pavlov’s dog drool-type scenario takes place?  Well grab you some buckets then, cuz you’re about to get suuuuuuuper unattractive.

Told ya.  For real, first the robe with the jelly stain on it; now in a constant state of tongue lolling.  If I manage to keep a husband after all this,  it’ll be a dang miracle.

This collection is inspired by creatures from the movie Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.  They’re all loaded with iridescent glitters or flakies (or both) and are truly jaw-droppingly beautiful.  You’ll want all of them, I’ve already decided. 

First up is Swooping Evil:

Named after the creature, the Swooping Evil, who has a habit of sucking people’s brains out.  A real gem, you might say.  Although if anyone can understand habits, it’d be me, cuz I practically make a living out of them.  Waking up 15 minutes before I need to be at work?  Habit.  Trying to drink tea in the morning to save on calories but then failing and having a Starbucks instead?  Habit.  Watching my cat bypass me completely just to go cuddle up and purr all over my husband, so I inject myself right in the middle of their love affair and effectively ruin everything?  Habit.

So this one has a dark blue jelly base with those glorious iridescent flakies and glitter, metallic shifting flakies, and holo micro glitter.  As usual with Glam Polish, this only required two smooth coats to get opaque.  Isn’t she lovely?  (She is!  I checked.)

Time for macros!

Some “nail art” I did:

What the hell, is right.  I feel like I cheated.  The most simple of all things simple – chevron nail vinyls  and about 30 seconds of my time – and voila.  Nail art.  I dunno guys.  I don’t hate it, but if I ever win an award for this one, I’m almost certain the universe done tipped over or something.  Let’s move on; this one makes me sad about my mojo.

Next up is Newt…I Don’t Think I’m Dreaming:

Named after the Mooncalves, timid creatures that only venture out at night under a full moon, where they make intricate, geometric patterns in wheat fields.  Well, that’s not weird AT ALL.  Although points for creativity, I suppose.  I’m a timid person and rarely do I put myself out there for judgement.  Once I discovered how my face looks while dancing to rap songs, that pretty much put the kibosh on any future ventures.  Cuz even though I’m not actually saying AH-HAH! with my mouth, I can pantomime the shit out of that apparently.  Reason #756455374 I no longer go out.  Clearly, this is justified.

This one is described as a blue tinted jelly base with iridescent glitter, shifting metallic flakies, and holo micro glitter.  It comes off as a pale green/blue to me and it’s rather sheer.  It did build up pretty good, but my swatch pics show three coats and still a bit of visible nail line.  However, I love this color and how well the iridescence compliments everything.  It’s really pretty and quite possibly my favorite.

Macro porn!

Actual nail art:

See what happens when a little bit of effort is given?  Magic, that’s what.  I thought this color looked very ocean-y, so I did some gradient stamping with a coral reef image from the Lina Born to Sail 01 plate.  Cute, right?  RIGHT.  I’m pretty proud, regardless.  Quick!  Someone bring me my horn so I can toot it.

Now here’s Paws Off What Doesn’t Belong To You!:

Named after the Niffler, a cute but troublesome character.  They are fast and agile, always on the hunt for shiny objects.  They store their treasures in their bottomless stomach pouches. And basically, they’re thieves is what I’m saying.

You know, I was never one for shiny things.  I mean, jewelry is fine and all, but not once has it ever made me stop in my tracks, back up, and go take a good look.  Unless you’re Leonardo handing me an engagement ring, chances are I’ll just breeze right past.  The only thing I ever really cared about was books.  I could be in full serious conversation mode and legit just stop talking as I caught a whiff of brand new book smell lingering in the air.  And even though I’ve been reading the same book since March 2015, books are and will forever be my one true love.  I am not a thief, let’s make that clear, but standing in the middle of a Barnes and Noble makes me think about it for 2.5 seconds.

So this one is a gorgeous black jelly with iridescent glitter, shifting metallic flakies, and holo micro glitter.  I literally can’t handle how stunning this is.  The iridescence is at a most ridiculous level here, and I’m losing control of words.  Moan-y throat noises are about to come out cuz the skill of sentences is fading, fading, fading fast …

Uhhhhhhnnnnnnnn.

See?!  Ugh.

Time for drool!

You done died. You did.

Not even sure what this is:

Started out as a valiant attempt at stamping but can you even tell?  Barely.  Copper was a poor choice, I have determined.  It blends right in with those glitters, which was completely unintentional and a big ole surprise.  I mean, check out my index finger.  What is even happening?  I dunno guys.  Baby Jesus might’ve moved on to more pressing issues.  Apparently my prayers for more mojo isn’t quite the priority I’ve assumed.

I used the Bundle Monster + NailStamp4Fun collab plate if you’re curious.  Cuz I’m sure a recreation is in order, right?  Bahaha.

Next up is Much More To You Than Meets the Eye:

Named after the Graphorn, large and carnivorous creatures with dark grey-purple hides with tough, dragon-like scales which can repel most spells.  In other words, a kinder way to say this one’s chubby.  Which I can relate, so we’re all good here.  Until this 30 pounds is gone, at least.  Which will take eons with light years and eternities on top at the rate I’m going.  I have no motivation as long as mashed potatoes are in this world.

I’m trying to think of things I could give up to help speed this process along.  But honestly, what is a life without Starbucks and carbs?  Not a very happy one, I’ll tell you right now.  My coffee brings me so much pleasure, it’s almost questionable as a lifestyle at this point.  And when the weekend rolls around and the Butterscotch Schnapps comes out, I am beyond a normal level of what is considered acceptable.  Which is probably why I stay home so much.  Cuz society is watching you with your boozy coffee and your no pants on, clearly sucking the joy out of everything.  Society is no fun sometimes.

Here we have a dark mauve crelly with iridescent glitter, shifting metallic flakies and holo microglitter.  This color is one of the more unique ones in the collection.  It’s purple with a touch of grey and just an extra special bit of something.  I lub it lots, so in the basket it goes cuz I am the boss of you.

More macro, more drool:

A bit of hypnotism to help aid in your decision:

Not that you haven’t already decided, but just in case there’s someone out there still on the fence, look closely … verrrrrry closely.  Cuz the fence is no place for a lady.

Used the Lina In Motion 01 plate for this image, and you’re getting sleepy and about to spend some money, I can already tell.

Lastly, here’s Good Show, Mr. Kowalski!:

Named after Erumpent, these creatures are native to Africa with glowing horns filled with explosive fluid.  Enormous in size, but mostly peaceful, these lady beasts can repel most spells and charms.  And while that’s all fine, I’m more concerned about the horn thing. Cuz explosive fluid sounds like something I want no part of. I can’t think of one time an explosive anything turned out well.  Since it’s usually not chocolate-related or even a malfunction at Starbucks or anything remotely delicious.  Although hubby did get a fancy restaurant-style espresso machine for our Christmas this year, and while figuring out all the knobs and buttons, coffee exploded everywhere. But it looked like a poo incident, so yet again, nothing delicious. 

This one is a medium grey crelly with iridescent glitter and holo micro glitter.  A bit of a sheer quality to it, even though it isn’t really sheer.  Reminds me somewhat of fiery coals embedded in ashes.   Kinda a cool effect, don’t you think?  You don’t see grey polish all dressed up like this that often.  For that reason alone, you’re buying it.

Last macro, to set you straight:

My favorite nail art:

For a brief moment, I had a vision.  The fiery glitters needed a spotlight, so I ended up doing some copper and gold metallic stamping in order to pull the whole look together.  I looooooove how it turned out!  Forget tooting just a horn; I want a whole slew of sounds.  Maracas, triangle, whatever you’ve got handy.  Cow bell, too, just to be safe. 

Used the Lina You’re a Damasque 01 plate for the baroque floral and Feeling Shapely 01 plate for the lines.  And gradient stamping, which has somehow quickly become one of my favorite things.

The round up:

Cost for the whole collection is $120 but will be discounted to $108 for the next 48 hours or so.  Which means go now, since it’s kinda an emergency.  Single polishes are $12 but you’re buying all of them so I told you that cuz I don’t know why.

As mentioned up top, the collection consists of 10 total polishes.  Here are descriptions of the others:

Case Full of Magical Creatures – plum tinted jelly with iridescent glitter, shifting metallic flakies and holo micro glitter

You Are Our Only Hope, Frank – clear base with iridescent flakies and glitter, shifting metallic flakies and holo micro glitter

I Think Your Egg is Hatching! – teal jelly base with crimson shimmer, iridescent glitter, shifting metallic flakies and holo micro glitter

That’s a Bowtruckle…Right! – bright green jelly with iridescent glitter and holo micro glitter

Douglas My Demiguise – holo base with iridescent glitter and silver holographic glitter

You can view more swatches of these colors by visiting my friend, Cheyenne’s, blog by clicking here.  Tell her I sent you!

So what’s at the top of your to-do list then?  That’s right.  Click here to order!  Cuz you can’t love nail polish if you’re not properly obsessed.  Don’t worry, I’ll help you if you need it.  I’ve got almost 300 previous posts of bad influence for whenever you’re not busy.  And you have a billion dollars handy. (As you do from time to time.)

Later, loves!