Stupid things to have anxiety about:
1. Boil orders I don’t know about. I mean, do you know the kind of gastrointestinal hell that’s involved in water with bits floating in it? A nightmare times a billion, MINIMUM. Of course, I only hear about boil orders roughly 2 days too late, and then I obsess about all the things I ate and drank that had water in it. OMG, like virtually everything, so pretty much about to die then. Never mind the boil order is for twelve towns over, but what is your question? It’s in the vicinity and that’s all I need to know for a major meltdown scenario to kick in.
2. Priding myself on adventurous eating then spending the next 487 hours looking up the symptoms of food poisoning. Sometimes the stress is just not worth it. Besides, you never really want the bone marrow anyway. Or all creepy food, for that matter. Hubby took me to this super elite restaurant in New York City one time – you know, the kind with just twelve tables, where securing a reservation is literally an act of God with maybe some stomach cramps on top. Anyway, the meal was a 16 course event. No menus. The chefs cook it in front of you, serve it, then you eat it no matter what it is. EXCEPT NOT ME. For real, I was like a child asking what is this, well what is this, and what is this? But then you just give up and eat the dadgum sea urchin cuz SOCIETY IS JUDGING YOU NOW and the hives, the hives they are a creepin’.
3. Finding parking spots in towns I don’t live in. This is the worst. I live in a smaller city where the parking is free and most places have their own lot. But when hubby and I travel, all the rules change. Nobody has parking so you’re forced to drive around in circles like an obvious tourist and/or crazy person. And even though I know nothing bad is going to happen if I don’t find a spot up close, for whatever reason this one pushes alllll the buttons. So then I panic and just pick the first spot I see, most generally one that is approximately 2.7 miles away. That is not a typo.
OMG, who’s the most ridiculous person on the planet? I’m not even gonna tell you, cuz you prolly already know. I could list a thousand more anxiety-inducing things for you, but do you have all day then? NO YOU DO NOT. Cuz you’re normal with, like, things to do, unlike me who gets body aches from sitting on the couch too long.
However, one thing that’s NOT stupid? Not eating the weird M&M. Cuz POISON. Duh.
Now that your opinion of me is officially confirmed, let’s distract you with shiny things. I received the Not Your Average St. Patty’s collection from Nailed It, and there’s so much green going on in here, I swear I have no idea how I’m still upright. Take a look:
We all just died. Flat out keeled over and died. All that shimmer and flakies and holo and GREEEEEENNNNNNN. Is today the best day of your life or what? Prolly so.
First up is Chasing Rainbows:
Well how pretty is this? (Very.) Out of the 1000+ bottles of nail polish I own (or, hoard, if you’d rather), I don’t have one even slightly like this. It’s a starter green, in case you wanna ease into it first. Like driving to Starbucks wearing a coat over your pajamas, cuz although eventually you’re just gonna say screw it and commit to your laziness, for now we’ll just do baby steps.
Regardless, this color is a light minty green and it’s full of rainbow holographic glitter. And a sprinkling of flakies added in for extra specialness. It’s lovely, people. Get on board.
Time for macros!
Some nail art I did:
Took the rainbow name quite literally and did some rainbow reverse stamping for you. Looks like a LOT of effort was made on your behalf. I’ll take kudos and accolades (and Starbucks if you’re not busy).
Used the Uber Chic Beauty St. Patrick’s Day plate if a recreation is in order. It is, it is!
Next up is Babes Wear Buckles:
THIS. This was it for me. For real, if I had a mic I would’ve dropped it by now and straight up walk out of the room, cuz this green ain’t no joke. Look at it! No words. Absolutely no words. How this blog is getting done at this point, I have no idea.
Brain, FOCUS! The display of determination over here is no doubt inspirational, I swear it. But it’s times like these when we appreciate pictures. Sausage fingers notwithstanding.
This one has a deep green base with a metallic green shift, although I picked up some purple at the edges in my macros below. It’s also chock full of multi chrome flakies with a touch of gold; a bit moody and mysterious, too. I’d say, like me!, but we all laugh in the face of that one. You can’t be hopscotching on cow patties and winning spelling bees and whatnot, and call yourself mysterious. Ever. Rule #836565 of the Universe or something.
(Click here if you need to know more. My idiocy = confirmed.)
Macros to drool over:
See that hint of purple? It’s there, I promise.
No effort nail art:
Again, I took the Babes in Buckles name and went a little literal with it. The Uber Chic Beauty St. Patrick’s Day plate has this buckle image on it, so figured why not? May not make a particulary smashing looking mani, but I can theme the shit out of some nail art. Right? Right.
Now here’s Fool’s Gold:
Okay, now it’s getting ridiculous. This gold shimmery base is just perfection to me, but toss in a load of rainbow chrome flakies, and I’m serious, it’s lolling tongues for everyone. You’re fighting off all the boys by how attractive you’re looking right about now, I’m certain. Brain’s stopped holding your mouth closed. All the drool in progress. Maybe in the fetal position, crying a little. Sexy isn’t a big enough word to describe this scenario.
An insane amount of flakies:
Youre getting this one! I mean it.
Shamrock EXTRAVAGANZA! below:
Well, there had to be shamrocks in here at some point.
Very simple mani, although slightly more interesting than the previous one. Used the – you guessed it – Uber Chic Beauty St. Patrick’s Day plate, and I think it turned out alright. Not award winning, but that rarely happens to me anyway.
Lastly, here’s Pinch Protector:
This one is nice. Not too flashy, but still special. And green, most importantly. If you’ve graduated to the next baby step, this here would be your new level. Or, the equivalent of still wearing your coat over your pajamas, but now we’re driving in our house shoes. Feels good being a rebel, doesn’t it? A lazy one, but a rebel nonetheless. Just watch your speed and for invisible pot holes. Cuz while it’s all fine and good driving around in your pjs, once you’re forced outside your car, that’s when the judging starts. And also all your co-workers driving by all at the same time, no doubt.
Here we have a forest green shimmer with gold flakies and bright green, almost turquoise sparkle. It’s a beauty, guys! Smooth application; two coats, tops. A dreamboat in a bottle is what I’m saying.
One more macro for drool, level EXPERT:
Nail art, one more time:
I’m not even gonna tell you what plate this is, cuz you already know. And those are celtic knots or something else Irish, I dunno. I’m sooooo good at blogging, guys!
The round up:
If you’re a fan of green, love green, obsessed with green, or just like pretty polish in general, this collection has your name alllll over it. So get it on it, peeps! Here’s the scoop:
Not Your Average St. Patty’s, entire collection $30
Single bottles $8.50
Plus, be one of the first 10 customers to buy the whole collection, and score yourself a free sugar scrub. What now?! We love free stuff! (Oh yes we do.)
Lastly, there’s a discount code. This is what you came here for. THIS is why it’s important to read all the way to the bottom. Save 15% on your order by entering code dianna15 at checkout. Click here for shopping!
Now sit back, relax, and be impatient. Cuz what other choice do you have at this point?