Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! Who else is having Chick-Fil-A and a wine cooler?
I’d like to tell you I’m one of those ladies who couldn’t give a toss about Valentine’s Day. I mean, it isn’t supposed to be the only day out of the year when your loved one publicly declares their love for you. Cuz Valentine’s Day is technically everyday, right, my 21st century women?
Cuz if I am the only woman on earth who doesn’t get flowers delivered to work for all 1100 co-workers to witness, then 1) I question the depth of your feelings, and 2) there may be an eggplant plus scissors emoji-type scenario happening later. I’m sorry if loving Valentine’s Day makes me a girly girl, a less-than, an anti-feminist. I’m sorry that I want my desk full of roses and my stomach full of chocolate, and if there has to be one day out of the entire year to force you to do it, well that’s just Science and we don’t argue with Science, now do we?
However, there are two times when Valentine’s Day has backfired in my life. Once about 20 years ago, my then-boyfriend gave me a tin of cinnamon popcorn and a card that said “Love Ya.” At first, I was like oh thank you so much but about 2.5 seconds later I was like LOVE YA?! What do you mean, LOVE YA? And POPCORN? Who freaking buys their girlfriend popcorn for Valentine’s Day?! Well, apparently it is a boyfriend who is going to break up with you about 10 days later. FAIL.
And to this day, if anyone tries to gift me cinnamon popcorn, it’s snip-snip and a karate chop until AT MINIMUM you exchange it for popcorn with chocolate on it.
Second time was last year when my husband gave me the gift of my dreams: a luxurious, fluffy pink robe. Which worked out really well for me, but I’m pretty sure he’s regretted that move for the past 365 days, seeing as the robe has become less something sexy and more of a lazy, housewife-y, pants unzipped to let your fat out kind of robe. When I wear the robe, it is no longer a tribute to a thoughtful and kind husband who listens to his wife when she tells him things; I wear it now and I might as well have a head full of hot rollers and 3 toddlers hanging off my body. It’s never a special occasion robe – which I guarantee he thought it might be – but more of a uniform for the anti-social. Cuz if I have to take off the robe just so we can go buy groceries and whatnot, chances are we will both just starve instead. And if you see me and I’m somehow not wearing the robe, you can assume I’ve been kidnapped then.
In other words, he should just buy me nail polish next time. It’s safer.
Speaking of nail polish (and best segue ever!), I have some pretties to show you today from Level Up Lacquer. First time on the blog, y’all! And what a debut … Here’s the new Overwatch collection:
I’m diggin all those. Four gorgeous shades, unique and so lovely. A couple of bright spring colors, a staple silvery sparkly one, and then that last one – ugh – I kinda one eat that one. Except society. They’re no fun sometimes.
This collection is inspired by the video game Overwatch. Do y’all play? I do a little bit. Well, not Overwatch per se, but like, I tend to a fake bakery and build ovens and change the wallpaper from time to time. That’s roughly the same kinda thing, right? Right.
First up is My Reality:
Ooooooh, a thermal! A turquoise one! Isn’t it so pretty? And it’s so bright and cheerful, you can’t help but close your eyes and smile like an idiot for a second. I love polishes that do that to me. Preferably before my husband walks in the room and divorces me. It’s important to keep our crazy to ourselves, ya know. That’s how marriage works.
Here is My Reality in its warm state:
Kind of a white-ish grey and you can see lots of white and turquoise glitters. At times I thought this polish was a very light blue when warm, but now I’m pretty sure it’s sorta gray. Like 97.947675 percent.
Here’s the polish in transition:
Y’all know right before this photo here there were about 187 others that were stupid. Transition shots are hard sometimes. There was at least two hours of me with my hand in the freezer, out of the freezer, back in the freezer, having anxiety. Best Blogger Ever award? Yes, please.
Now here’s the cool state:
Full on turquoise EXTRAVAGANZA! How happy are you right now? (Very.)
Time for drooling!
Now FOCUS. Next up is Boop:
THIS. We’ve barely gotten started and already I’m losing words. Seriously, moan-y throat noises are about to come out.
This one is a bold lavender with a touch of pink, like a tropical flower or something. A dusting of purple hex glitters and just the teeniest bit of holo that I almost didn’t see until I got up close. Went on so smooth, glitters spread around so nice. On a scale of one to Leonardo, this is basically a dreamboat in a bottle. Only way it could be better is if it came with a Starbucks.
And then I did this nail art thing:
And it’s not hideous. Straight up miracle.
I did gradient stamping with a turquoise and dark purple stamping polish and used the Uber Chic Beauty Love & Marriage 01 plate. Plus matte top coat for extra credit. Where’s my horn? I need to toot it.
Now here’s Orb of Harmony:
Okay, at first you’re like, alright, a silver. But then you start putting it on your nails, and it’s all you can do to keep upright. Grab your smelling salts just in case. And look at those little baby gold flakies. I loves!
This is one of those polishes when the word perfection doesn’t even describe it quite right. It was a pure pleasure to apply. One layer, two layers, then onto Polish Mountain! Except I’m lazy so I just stopped at two. Clearly, it worked out.
Also, NERD ALERT. Sorry. There are times when moan-y throat noises are the better choice. This is one of those times.
Another macro; lots more drool:
And another nail art look I’m kinda somewhat proud of:
I think this is rather cute. I used a dainty daisy image from the Lina Feeling Shapely 08 plate and added dots of gold for the centers to play off those gold flakies. It’s almost as if I thought this one through before accidentally stamping all the things like normal.
Lastly, this is High Noon:
Saved the best for last? Prolly. And absolutely, definitely, one hundred percent-ly the most unique. From the chocolately plum jelly base to the awesome gold, red and lavender glitter mix, I seriously need a couch to lay on for a second. And bring candy bars. This one is making me hungry.
One more macro and a bit more drooling:
And now, nail art:
Okay, so this one isn’t my favorite. I don’t hate it, but I don’t love it, which is how I usually feel about my nail art. So status quo, then. Blah.
The round up:
Guess what you’re doing next? That’s right. You’ve read this blog before, haven’t you?
To recap, you’re putting Post-It Notes on all your surfaces and setting a minimum of 17 alarms. Release date for this collection is this Friday, February 17 and you don’t wanna go getting there late, now do you? The whole room be watching you walk in, judging you with their eyes. And you’re probably wearing click-clacky shoes and your seat is clear on the other side. Planning is everything, my friend. Don’t be the girl in the click-clacky shoes.
OMG, what is happening? Shut up, brain.
Just go buy the polish, is what I’m saying. Click here.