Tag Archives: Nail Art

Different Dimension: Americana Collection 

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I’m not even gonna pretend life goes on happily when hubby has to work all weekend.  Cuz when he’s home, snacks just make their way out of the kitchen like magic, but now I’ve been sitting here putting pants on against my will for the past 9 hours cuz food is officially taking its DAMN SWEET TIME.  Ugh.  What is the point of a Sunday if I’m forced to do things in an anti-couch lounging kind of way?  I ask you, WHAT IS THE POINT?

I tried to salvage the day somehow, but he’d left me only an inch of Cheetos in the bottom of a bag and the manual to the Keurig might as well have been written in Spanish.  I thought maybe I should starve to death out of protest, but the novelty of that idea lasted roughly 2.5 seconds.  I’m not good at goals, let’s just say.  And the lure of a Starbucks is legit no joke.

In other words, someone spent an extraordinary amount of time being responsible today, so if an award is coming – well, that sounds about right.

Oh, but the polish!  Missi with Different Dimension sent me some pretties to share with you today, and HOLO EXTRAVAGANZA! doesn’t even begin to describe this scenario.  Here is the Americana Collection: 

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Gah!  Y’all got your smelling salts handy?  Cuz it’s about to get super pass-out-y in here, I just know it.

First up is One Flag, One Land:

This one is a linear red holographic with added holographic microglitters and larger linear holographic pigment.  I swear, this red is CRAZY good.  Practically a one-coater, and perfect for parties.  So blingy and flashy and fun.  Date night nails!  Or napping nails, you know, if you’re me.

18,000 tickets to the Drool Convention, at minimum.  

And then I did actual cute nail art:

Right?!  Nothing innovative here, but I’ll take a horn toot if y’all not busy. 

Used the Lina Feeling Shapely 01 plate for the stripes and the 09 plate for the stars in case you’re curious.  (You are this time.)

Next up is One Heart, One Hand:

This one is a linear chantilly lace white/dove grey holographic with added color shifting shimmers, larger linear holographic pigment and holographic microglitters.  And for some reason, this looks good on me.  Usually light colors don’t play well with my pale skin, but I’m freaking looooving this!  No sad sausages!  Weeeee!

I did three coats of this one even though on most people it will probably only take two.  Most likely, I did it wrong cuz it was 2 a.m. on a work night and half my brain was sleeping.

Lolling tongue alert!

And then this happened:

EFFORT.  Someone got a second wind, clearly.

Used the Bundle Monster BM-XL201 plate and stamped over this awesome dry brush design.  Then sat back and reveled in this brief moment of mojo.

Lastly, here’s One Nation Evermore:

This one is a linear cobalt blue holographic with added holographic microglitters, and OMG, my eyes my eyes!  Is this not the most beautiful sparkly blue of all time ever?  Ugh.  Don’t mind me.  I’ll just be over here, drooling in a thousand buckets.  Cuz ladylike composure is officially OUT THE WINDOW.

An ocean of lovely:

Final design:

This time around, I used striping tape and blocked off spots for color blocking.  It was looking pretty good, but then the SILVER STAR STICKER MYSTERY HOUR happened, and … blah.  Sometimes when I nail art, my brain goes away somewhere.  

BONUS TIME!  Included in this bundle is a limited edition cuticle oil called Rockets Red Glare:

Smells just like those rocket bomb popsicles you get from the ice cream truck, most specifically the cherry part of it.  YUM!  But it is NOT FOOD.  I checked, so you don’t have to.  Surpringly tastes less like popsicles than expected.

The round up:

The Americana Collection just released today so you’re all set to go!  It’s extremely limited stock and won’t be restocked so we are in the midst of a dadgum POLISH EMERGENCY! in case you need to know.  Plus, you get free shipping if you order Monday or Tuesday, and I’m not sure why 27 bottles isn’t already sitting in your cart at this point.  Get on it, boo boos!  You do not want to miss out.

Cost for this set plus the cuticle oil is $30.  It’s not available as separate pieces but as a bundle only, which works just fine.  Cuz no one does Crazy Nail Lady quite like you.

Click here for shopping!

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Octopus Party Nail Lacquer: The Mahalo Collection 

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Current status: sitting in the bathtub for the past hour and a half staring at the cocktail I left on the bathroom counter.  DAMMMMMIT!  This is one of those times when I wish I wasn’t so good at lazy. I mean, the whole point I’m in here is so I can play fancy lady with a drink in the tub.  But now I’m forced to sit here and shave my legs instead.  Ugh.  Friday night = RUINED.

Suppose I’ll just get to blogging then, considering how much they’re not writing themselves and all.  Clearly this getting caught up thing is going very well.  Only 7,237 blogs to go?  Well, that sounds about right.

FOCUS.  I have a legit polish emergency to share with you today and IT. IS. DIRE.  Our pal, Dave, from Octopus Party Nail Lacquer has teamed up once again with Kristen from Ella Ann Cosmetics for an exclusive last release before she closes up shop for good.  First of all, BOOOOO!  Second of all, that means this is a one and done kind of offering never to come back again, and OMG the hives are lurking!  Are you properly panicked?  Well, you should be.  Here is the Mahalo Collection:

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Soooo, tropical jelly holos.  And now our checkbooks have done left the building.  I mean, if any of y’all expected a display of ladylike composure, today is NOT your day.  Cuz you can’t just toss in a bunch of summery delicious squishiness and somehow continue on like no big deal. GUYS.  Rational behavior is for other people.  We’ve been through this before.

In an effort to get to the point (the shopping!) and because time just keeps ticking by (dumb), I’ll give you a rundown of the colors and meet you at the bottom.  Weeee!

First up is Bahama Hammock:

This one is a bright yellow holographic.  I feel like I should elaborate and it feels weird not to.  How do I just leave a tiny sentence over there like that and be like, LOOKS GOOD!, and move on?  I’m trying!  But before I go, lemme just say BAHAMA HAMMOCK real quick and giggle like a 12 year old boy.

Another angle, cuz NERD:

Under the lamps:

This one has the most extreme holo payoff, by the way.  Maybe because it’s the lightest color; I dunno.  I mean, that sounds a bit science-y for a Friday.

Macro time!

Okay, NOW no more chatting.  It’s serious business up ahead.  Lessss go!

Next up is She Sells Seychelles:

I’m literally sitting here saying the name of this polish over and over and failing miserably.  Blah.  This one is a pink coral holographic, all lovely and girly and Queen of England-approved.  If y’all are having tea later, you’re officially halfway appropriate.

Now here’s Hawaii Five Beaux:

This one is a juicy orange holographic and a most excellent summer shade.  It would be an awesome base for some tropical flower or citrus fruit nail art.

Of which I did neither.  Cuz, Best Blogger Ever, that’s why.

Next is Bora the Explorer:

This one is a bright bordering on neon pink holographic, and it’s my favorite of the bunch.  Looks like a popsicle!  Maybe even tastes like one, although slightly more poison-y.  But we’ll never know, now will we?  Oh, SOCIETY with your judgy eyes.

Lastly, here’s Baliwood:

This one is a warm orange leaning coral holographic, and it’s my second favorite.  I love the comfy cozy tone of it!  Did someone just wrap me up in a thousand toasty blankets and hand me a bunch of kitties?  Might as well have.

Then I did some nail art:

I attempted a gradient.  I had to manipulate it a bit with some manual blending, but that is because I am not a professional gradienter (and NO ONE is surprised).  But I think it turned out quite nice.  I applied the polishes over a coat of white to make them stand out better and then added some stamping using the new Uber Chic Beauty 18-02 plate.

In other words, EFFORT WAS MADE.  Quick!  Gimme my horn so I can toot it.

The round up:

All five of these polishes are pretty sheer on their own.  My swatches are done on top of naked nails in three coats.  Formula was ultra smooth, no gloop, and a pure pleasure to apply.  THIS IS NOT A JOKE.  It was about a full-on Polish Mountain scenario, except I give up easily.  Is that a good thing?  Maybe in this case, yes.  Cuz POLISH EMERGENCY, remember?

So here’s where the emergency comes in and the reason for all the rushing around.  The Mahalo Collection is up for pre-order RIGHT NOW but will only run through Sunday, June 11 at 9pm EST. After that:  GONE FOREVER.  Who wants to wake up June 12 full of regret and shame?   DAMN NEAR NOBODY.  So get on it, boo boos.  Or else it’s a sad state of affairs for you.

Each bottle retails for $11 and they are exclusively available at Ella Ann Cosmetics.  Click here for shopping!  Cuz good decisions just happen sometimes.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Glam Polish: Mermaid at Heart Collection 

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What I learned during vacation #247:

You can go to a museum and take pictures of your nails in front of all the art for at least 2 hours and that is COMPLETELY NORMAL BEHAVIOR. Cuz in the background, ART. And in the foreground, ALSO ART. Clearly. 

What I learned after vacation #123:

Apparently, I have to not be home for over a week if I want my cat to love on me.  Seriously, it was like a movie-style reunion when I walked in the door.  I mean, Leonardo was nowhere to be seen, but other than that, it was a straight up tear jerking movie scene EXTRAVAGANZA.

Then hubby walks through the door, and suddenly MOVIE OVER.  Ugh.  Why that cat loves him most is beyond me.  Cuz who doesn’t want to be force-held like a baby and loved in a smother-y, stalker-y kind of way?  Damn near nobody, that’s who.

But it always comes back to nail polish, my true BFF.  I have another awesome set from Glam Polish to show you today.  I’ve got 5 out of 10 polishes from the Mermaid at Heart collection, and if you love you some flakies, well then you’re about to have a var var good day.

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See?  Heart eyes times a billion.  Lolling tongues are coming, I just know it.
First up is Life is the Bubbles:

This one is a bright azure blue jelly with green/purple/indigo iridescent flakies, green/purple iridescent flakies and fine holo microglitter. I did two coats on this one, but as you can see, my nail line still shows through a bit.  I’m thinking a third coat would’ve been better here, but naturally I have no proof.  BEST BLOGGER EVER, is what you’re thinking.  Despite that though, it’s a glorious blue shade.  On yer nails, stat!

Macro time:

OMG.  Dying!  Dead! Seriously, the rest of this blog may never get done.  

This color just begs for a mermaid mani:

So of course I did whatever this is instead.  Sorry guys.  Sometimes I stamp with my eyes closed.

In case recreations are in order (they’re not), I used the new Uber Chic Beauty 18 -01 plate for this one.

Next up is It’s a Shore Thing:

This one is a bright pink jelly with green/purple iridescent flakies, pink/purple/green iridescent flakies and fine holo microglitter.  How amazingly in-your-face flashy!  This time around, I did do three coats and things turned out much better.  Colors like these make my fingers look so much less sausage-y, and for that fact alone, I lub it lots.  

More macros with a side of noodle legs:

My eyes, my eyes!  Y’all are getting this one, I’ve already decided.

Don’t look down:

GAH!  You looked.  I dunno guys.  My mojo’s done took a vacay or something.  Blah.  However, an attempt was made so that gets me half a horn toot, at least.

I used the Uber Chic Beauty 18-01 plate on this one too – and while there is absolutely nothing wrong with the plate (let’s be clear), there is definitely a problem with my brain.  One should not STAMP ALL THE THINGS, let’s just say.

Now here’s The Seaweed is Always Greener:

This one is a sea green crelly with green/purple/indigo iridescent flakies, blue/purple iridescent flakies, iridescent microglitter, hint of turquoise microflakies and fine holo microglitter, and man oh man, THIS COLOR!  I mean, where there is green there is also me trying desperately to keep my mouth from gaping.  Cuz there’s only so much sexy to go around while holding a drool bucket.  Seriously.  I checked.

Macros, out of order cuz my brain’s done gone somewhere:

If I wasn’t blinded by love, the OCD would be kicking in so hardcore right now.  And if y’all have no idea what I’m talking about, well enjoy your anxiety free life, then.  Cuz it’s a big ball of crazy over here.

Some super simple nail art:

I don’t hate this, although it wasn’t my first attempt.  I had something ghastly stamped in black on top first that I tried to remove (somewhat unsuccessfully) with Scotch tape.  Then I stamped on some blue lines using the Uber Chic Beauty Texture-licious 2 plate cuz I thought it would hide the black remnants, although clearly that is not the case.  In other words, I MEANT TO DO ALL OF THIS, and you love everything about it, the end.

Next is Just Keep Swimming, Swimming, Swimming:

This one is a sapphire blue jelly with pink/purple/green flakies and fine holo microglitter, and all you blue lovers just died a little bit.  Are you sweaty?  Drool-y?  Generally unattractive?  Yep.  Me too.  Glam Polish gets me pass-out-y every single time.

Will the macros ever end?  NO.

Angels are singing, I’m almost certain.  

Okay, I like this one:

FINALLY!  And I don’t even know why, cuz it’s pretty simple and no frills.  However, when the mojo comes, we just roll with it.  It’s got one foot out the door anyway.

I used the Uber Chic Beauty 18-01 plate once again if you’re curious. (You might be this time!)

Lastly, here’s Secrets in the Sand:

This one has a clear base with a mix of pink/purple/green, green/purple, blue/purple/green, and green/purple/indigo iridescent flakies and fine holo microglitter. You can use it as a topper over any color like I’ve done here, or over naked nails which you’ll see in my nail art shot below.  Either way, it’s flakie action at it’s finest, and we’re all just big puddles of goo by now.

Last of the macros, right before your checkbook goes bye bye:

Three coats over nakies:

And some final nail art:

I used this cool lace pattern from the new Lina License to be Sexy 01 plate on this one, and I think it looks pretty nice.  Might not win an award or anything like that, but if a Starbucks is coming, that sounds about right.  Cuz effort is hard on a Saturday.

The round up:

The Mermaid at Heart collection is available now, so how lucky are you? (Very.)  Plus, if you purchase within the next 24 hours, you will get the whole set for $108 versus $120.  Whaaaaaaat?!  Almost free!  Also, single bottles are $12 if you choose to go that route – although WHYYYYYY? is the actual question.

In case you’re curious, here’s descriptions of the other 5 polishes.  All fabulous, no worries:

The Tide is High – an indigo jelly with blue/purple and green/purple iridescent flakies and fine holo microglitter

Let the Sea Set You Free – a teal crelly with pink/purple/green iridescent flakies and fine holo microglitter

Dream Big Little Mermaid – a dark purple jelly with pink/purple/green and blue/purple iridescent flakies and fine holo microglitter

Mermaid Kisses & Starfish Wishes – a fuchsia jelly with pink/gold/green and pink/purple/green iridescent flakies, shifting iridescent microglitter and fine holo microglitter

Wish Upon a Clownfish – a watermelon jelly with red/gold iridescent flakies, shifting iridescent glitter and fine holo microglitter

And in case y’all don’t just toss nail polish in your cart all willy nilly like me, click here for swatches of everything from my pal Alicia.  And then click here for shopping, cuz it’s the right thing to do. Cuz FLAKIES, guys.  Flakies.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Posh Paints: Celestial Wonders Collection 

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I swear, if I scroll Facebook one more time and then SNAKE! happens without any warning, I’m gonna karate chop someone in the throat. Cuz I don’t need to see what you find out in your backyard while mowing. You need to be indoors in pajamas like a normal person.  How will you ever get to Lazy, Level EXPERT by being overachieve-y anyway?  Blah. 

In Michigan last week, hubby made me go “do stuff outside” and RUUUUUUUUDE doesn’t even begin to describe this scenario.  I mean, I’m on VACATION, so clearly exercise has nothing to do with it.  But because I made him stop for 15 “eternity-like” seconds at the Michael Jackson birthplace in Gary, Indiana, that means I owe him favors of all shapes and sizes, and apparently hiking was one of them.  Ugh.

GUYS.  I am the world’s girliest hiker.  Everything was either a snake, spider or poison ivy.  And there was dirt, and IT. WAS. EVERYWHERE.  I got a bit of it on my cute Sketcher tennies, and I was seriously done for. Do people cry while hiking? I mean, is that a thing people do?  Just asking. You know, for a friend.

Got a lifetime’s worth of calisthenics done, though, and even if I wanted to take off my wedding ring and hand it back to hubby, I couldn’t cuz my fingers were ultra sausage-y at that point.   But on the even bigger plus side:   DADGUMMIT, I did it.  And only complained about 97.85769% of the time.  Toots on the ole horn for me then.  Woot!

Here’s a photo of me pre-hike, exhibiting composure to the trillionth degree:

There is no after photo cuz I died a little bit. I don’t sweat like a lady, let’s just say.

Good thing there’s polish, or else I don’t have much else to brag about today.  I received some gorgeous shades from sweet Courtney with Posh Paints, and if you love flakies and you love toppers, well you’re about to have a var var good day. Lessss go!

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Yes. Things are starting out well. If angels start singing, no one’s surprised.

This collection is split into two groups: three full coverage flakies and three flakie toppers. So I don’t repeat myself (cuz, NO TIME. VAR BUSY.), I brushed three coats on top of naked nails for these first three shades, then for the toppers, I did two coats on top of a black base.

First up is Flaming Star Nebula:

This is a multichrome flakie that shifts from voilet to pink to gold in a clear base with holo microglitter, color shifting glitters and a purple shimmer.

For real, tongue lolling. Already. 

Serious business up ahead:

Formula was great. No gloop. Nice flakie distribution.  Since I brushed on the coats, the opacity wasn’t 100%, but you couldn’t tell that much in real life. However, sponging on coats two and three probably would’ve yielded a better result. 

Naturally, I have no proof. BEST BLOGGER EVER, obvs. 

But I did nail art, and it’s not hideous. Hooray!

Isn’t that the cutest? (Yes.)  I really love how it turned out, which doesn’t happen that often.  Oh, mojo, my dear sweet friend. 

Used the Lina Feeling Shapely 09 plate and a matte top coat for funsies.

Next up is Crab Nebula:

Ummmm, FAAAAAAVORITE! But of course, you already knew. Cuz where there is green, there is me picking my jaw off the floor like 18,000 times. 

This one is a multichrome flakie that shifts from lime to blue to gold in a clear base with holo microglitter, color shifting glitters, and a gold shimmer. I love everything about it, and I want it on all the surfaces, stat.

ALL NORMAL BEHAVIOR, in case you’re curious. 

Another epic display of photography skill:

Cuz I MEANT to go blurry, that’s why.  Although you are distracted by green, are you not?  Now FOCUS. Art is coming. 

Not bad, right? I’ve done worse. If there’s a nail fail happening, chances are I’m on the front row. BUT NOT TODAY!

I used the Powder Perfect Art Deco 01 plate here, just so you know. 

Now here’s Fire Nebula:

This one is a multichrome flakie that shifts from red to bronze to copper in a clear base with holo microglitter, color shifting glitters, and a copper shimmer. 

Who’s all set for a prim and proper tea with the Queen? Bahahahahaha. NO ONE. Although if there’s a Drool Convention nearby, that sounds about right. 

An insane display of flakie:

Gah! Just gorgeous.  You’re buying all these, by the way. 

More good nail art. What is happening to my life?

Certainly mojo’s got one foot out the door by now?

Used the Lina Feeling Shapely 09 plate for the baby triangles and the Uber Chic Beauty 17-02 plate for the hairy chevrons. Shhhhh, that’s what they are, I swear it. Okay, 23% sure.

Now onto the toppers!  Again, two coats over a black base. I know I said  up top I wasn’t going to repeat myself on this, but I know someone out there has just jumped into this blog in the middle like a crazy person.

Quick rundown of the colors then I’ll meet you at the bottom. First up is Little Gem Nebula:

This one has a clear base full of green/blue/fuchsia/gold shifting flakies with color shifting glitters and holo microglitter.

Another angle, cuz NERD:

 Next up is Wings of a Butterfly Nebula:

This one has a clear base full of green/blue/gold shifting flakies with color shifting glitters and holo microglitter. 

Lastly, here’s Eskimo Nebula:

This one has a clear base full of red/green/gold shifting flakies with color shifting glitters and holo microglitter. 

Every single one of these toppers is distinct from one another, and I freaking love that. You can clearly see one is pink, one is green and one is more orange. For those that also care about these things: high fives all around!

Easy to apply formula. No gloop on these either. OMG, is Leonardo coming next?! Cuz this day can’t get much better. 

The round up:

This collection released just yesterday, so no waiting required! Go ahead and toss all these in your cart plus 27 backups. Cuz there’s no sense in being rational at a time like this. The deets:

Set of 6:  Retails for $61

Individual bottles (again, moot point):  $11

Happiness and joy and pajamas for everyone:  PRICELESS

Go treat yourself today. You deserve it. Click here for shopping!

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Painted Polish: Stamped in Spring Collection + PCNY Hipster Trio

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For a girl who got booed on her 21st birthday for sipping a Jagermeister shot like a fancy lady, you’d see me now – all covered in robe, head lolling in the midst of an accidental 8pm nap, mouth agape for extra attractiveness – and think, YEP. That sounds about right.

Listen, all things considered, I’m basically a success story. As Spelling Bee Champion of 1987, you’d expect a little venture down a dark road at some point. But I can ignore peer pressure like it’s my damn job. Cuz having anxiety and thinking everything might kill me sometimes comes in very handy. I’m a goodie two shoes cuz I’m too scared not to be.

In other words, super fun at parties.

Although I do have my addictions, don’t get me wrong.  When I find a hobby, I do it super hardcore.  I can’t be normal about it.  This is how you end up with a duffle bag full of puzzle books and a monthly subscription to 11 different scrapbook kits.  Cuz while most rational people might just do things leisurely, I will obsess over it in a credit-card-retaliating, stalker-y, smother-y kind of way.  Then sell all of it at a garage sale about 2 months later.

Like a sugar high, the crash comes swiftly.  SEND HELP is what I’m saying.

I have some gorgeous polishes from Painted Polish to show you today.  First time on the blog y’all, so toots for Lexi for making good decisions!  She sent me an awesome set of stamping polishes plus a trio that debuted at Polish Con which is now available to the rest of us.  Get ready to die a little.  Here we go!

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First up is the Stamped in Spring collection, a set of 5 deliciously springy colors that are either one or two coaters that double as stamping polishes.  A two in one!  Which means you just saved money, so if there was ever a time to justify the next 1275 bottles of nail polish, now would be it.

Lemme do the rundown of colors, then I’ll meet you at the bottom.

First one is Stamped in Mint, a creamy one coat pastel mint:

I’m trying to keep my chatting to a minimum so we aren’t in this blog all damn day, but the lolling tongues are lurking.  Ugh.  So pretty.

Here’s Stamped in Starfruit, a springy pastel yellow:

Drool buckets on standby.

This is Stamped in Guava, a fresh pastel coral:

Bad case of the noodle legs.  Someone roll me over a little fainting couch!  And bring a Starbucks, just in case.

Next is Stamped in Taro, a one coat pastel periwinkle:

OMG, purple lovers!  This one has your name on it.  Get on it, boo boos.

Lastly, here’s Stamped in Peach, a yummy pastel peach:

How I am still upright, it’s defied all logical explanation.  These crèmes are luscious.  Ultra smooth, although thicker than your average polish.  The lighter colors needed two coats just to make everything level, but the one-coat coverage was phenomenal on all of them.  There’s no way you’re getting out of this blog without spending some money, I just know it.

But do they stamp?  You tell me:

GUYS.  I made a thing.  And it turned out so cute!  Quick! Someone get me my horn so I can toot it.

I used the Lina Feeling Shapely 01 and 09 plates, Stamped in Mint and Stamped in Peach if you’re curious.  (You are this time!)  Next.

Effort was made with all that gradient stamping.  Goodness.  You ask the Baby Jesus just one time for a bit of mojo, and look what happens.  Nail art, everywhere.

Used the Lina Mad for Mandalas 01 plate for this one, plus Stamped in Starfruit, Stamped in Guava and Stamped in Taro.

Another favorite!  Who am I?  Certainly the mojo is halfway out the door by now?

This time I used the Lina Make Your Mark 04 plate, Stamped in Guava and Stamped in Taro.  And some peach studs for extra specialness.

Okay, this one almost went the way of stamping all the things but I think I got it together in time.  Sometimes when I do nail art, my brain goes away somewhere.  The focus face has done took a vacay.

I used the Lina Feeling Shapely 09 plate, Stamped in Peach, Stamped in Starfruit and Stamped in Taro.  On this particular plate, the images are mostly mix n match geometric shapes, which gives me a touch of the OCDs.  So all things considering, this mani is a bit of a miracle.  The fact there’s not 18,000 triangles on it is proof.

Last one, and I’m going out on a high note.  I think this is darling.  If there’s an award coming, no one is surprised.

For this one, I used the Uber Chic Beauty 17-01 plate, Stamped in Taro, Stamped in Mint and one of Painted Polish’s other shades, Midnight Mischief.   Recreations (and kudos and accolades) start now!

This was my first time to use any of Lexi’s stamping polishes, and now I think I need them all.  They work very well, even stamp over black as another swatcher discovered.  If you feel like spending a little money today, right here is a good reason. 

In addition to the stamping collection, the PCNY Hipster Trio is coming back. It first debuted at Polish Con, but now all the rest of us get our chance.  Take a look at these lovelies:

Who else just peed a little?  Squeeeeee!

First up is V-Necks & Vinyl:

This one is a fuchsia ultra holo with added silver holo glitters.  So much pretty in just two coats!  If you haven’t already drooled in a thousand buckets by now, well here’s where you’re about to get suuuuuuper unattractive.   Cuz there’s only so much sexy to go around while this is on yer nails.

Macro, in case more convincing is in order:

Gah!  Have you ever?  NO. YOU. HAVE. NOT.

Next up is Beards & Bow Ties:

This one is a white crelly base full of fuchsia, orange, gold and sky blue glitters.  You know how sometimes when you use a white crelly, and it’s streaky and un-level-y and generally not good?  Well, welcome to your new best friend!  This white crelly is PERFECTION.  Two coats, smooth application, no patches, no gloop, nothing. It’s quite possibly made of magic.  And happiness.  With a Starbucks on top.  I can’t think of a better thing.  Unless it comes with a basketful of kitties, that is.

A macro EXTRAVAGANZA! 

Lastly, here’s Mix Tapes & Man Buns:

This is the glitter twin to the above crelly.  Same glitter mix, but in a clear base.  And for such a glitter bomb, it goes on really well!  Would also make an excellent counterpart to some fun nail art with the crelly.

So naturally, I didn’t do one for you cuz BEST BLOGGER EVER.  Clearly, I didn’t plan that out well.

I brushed on two coats and then did some dabbing with a third just to make sure it was all covered.  It’s very blingy, and I think you’ll love it.  Cuz you’re a Crazy Nail Lady, that’s why.

Macros, then we shop:

Oh my.  Bye bye checkbook.

Both of these collections released yesterday, so you’re all set to spend some money.  Here’s what you need to know:

The Stamped in Spring 5-piece set is $45; single bottles are $10 each

The PCNY Hipster Trio is $28.  If you go the single bottle route, V-Necks & Vinyls is $12 and the other two are $10 each

Click here for shopping! Then sit back, relax, and stalk the mailman like a proper loon.  At this point, you have no choice.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

 

Fair Maiden Polish: Pony Parade Collection 

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I spent three hours in the bathtub today cuz the actual thought of hoisting myself out of it was almost too much to bear. Like, I might as well have been 18000 pounds, considering how well this was going. Hubby came in to check on me and actually offered to pull me out, which is both sweet and slightly alarming.   In either case, he loves being married to me, I just know it. 

But omg, guys. I’m sooooo tired. I stayed up til 530 this morning trying to be a nail blogger but things were failing all over the place. Perhaps blogging with your eyes closed isn’t the brightest idea. I mean, I had two polishes to review. TWO. That should’ve taken one hour, tops. I’ve just come to the conclusion that I can’t write with the TV on. Cuz a Full House + Friends + Fresh Prince of Bel Air marathon doesn’t bode well for the attention span. And responsibilities are things for other people. 

However, deadlines are deadlines, and I am a dadgum professional.  I published once today and here I am back again like no big deal. Is there an award coming then, cuz I’m feeling very deserving right about now.

Sarah and Adrienne, the two lovely ladies behind Fair Maiden Polish, sent me this awesome swatch pack to show off for you today.  First time on the blog y’all, and I’m so super fancy!  I’ve got their 5-piece spring collection, all inspired by the vintage 1980s version of My Little Ponies.  How stinkin’ cute is that? (Very.)  Let’s have a good look then!  Here’s Pony Parade:

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

I love everything 80s.  Gimme all the music, all the toys, and all the unfortunate clothes my mother dressed me in.    I want the roller rink on a Friday night, the church camp where I did more kissing things than church things, and all the sleepovers – even the one where I woke up in my best friend’s pee.  I just love that feeling of nostalgia. In fact, the older I get, the more I crave it.

There’s something to be said about the simplicity in life.  Let’s just go back to that time, shall we, cuz I’m tired of driving myself to places.  And I’m not interested in paying utility bills anymore.  Actually, let’s roll all the way back to before I learned to shave my legs, cuz I’m not much interested in that thing either.  Yep, I’m all in for a field trip to the 80s and all the mix tapes and bicycle rides to the post office that it comes with.  Plus, I believe there’s a 7th grade class missing their Spelling Bee Champion, and that girl I slapped in the ear?  Well, I’m pretty sure she’s missing me too.

And now, the polish.  First up is Locket:

This one is a punchy pink holographic with duochrome shimmer that shifts violet/orange with multi holographic sparkles.  Now, I’m not the world’s best at photographing duochromes unless you find extreme hand contortion to be some sort of selling point instead of the circus side show it really is.  However, hopefully these photos will give you an idea at least.  The lights do show off the violet, but the orange is more elusive.  It’s in there, but only slight.

Under the lamps:

A macro EXTRAVAGANZA!

You see the orange in the upper right in the bottle macro?  Yep, I’m soooooo good at blogging, you guys!

Some nail art I did:

Kinda cute, right?  I mean, if you’re into zero displays of effort, this is a pretty good one.  Took me less than 5 minutes to make cuz creativity is a strange and unreachable thing, and if there’s an easy road in front of me, imma gonna take it.

Used the Uber Chic Beauty Mother’s Day plate for this one, just so you know.

Next up is Peachy:

This one is a light peach holographic with a violet/red shifty shimmer and multi holographic sparkles.  And surprisingly, despite how extra sausage-y my fingers look in neutrals, I really like this color.  It’s very elegant and sweet and 2.5 seconds away from tea with the Queen.  Cuz this one begs to hold a tiny sandwich, I’m pretty sure.

Under the lamps:

It’s so glowy; I die.

Lolling tongues ahead!

Some not-hideous nail art:

Sometimes I make cute things.  I like this one, finally.  A brief moment of mojo, and I’m gonna revel in it for the next 987 years.  Give or take.   

Used the Uber Chic Beauty 15-02 plate, and it’s a good one!

Now here’s Seaflower:

This one is a seafoam green holographic with a violet/red shifty shimmer and more of those multi holographic sparkles.  Lemme just say, this is my favorite.  Cuz GREEN, but who is surprised?  You’ve read this blog before right?  I mean, where there is green, there is also me reattaching my jaw to my face for the 18000th time.

Under the lamps:

Do you hear angels?  Cuz I hear angels.

Will the macros ever end?  NO.

Kinda proud of this one:

I made actual effort cuz gradient stamping doesn’t just appear by magic.  Sad, I know.  Cuz if I could just lounge on couches instead, that’d be great.

Used the Uber Chic Beauty 15-02 plate again and picked out some purple and aqua stamping polish to compliment the base and shimmer.  Sounds like someone thought things through for once.  Hope a Starbucks is coming.  You know, if y’all not busy.

Next up is Moonstone:

This one is a soft blue holographic with a violet/orange duochrome shift and – you guess it – those multi holographic sparkles.  Still having trouble photographing the orange, but you can see the violet really well.  Either way though, all you blue lovers just died a little bit.  You done did.

Under the lamps:

A ridiculous display of pretty:

Some simple art:

I don’t love it, but I don’t hate it.  I mean, no one is giving me a trophy for this one, pretty sure.  Even a participation ribbon might need committee approval first.  

Used the Lina Feeling Shapely 08 plate in case recreations are in order.  Hahahaha.  Blah.

Lastly, here’s Twilight:

This one is a vibrant purple holographic with a duochrome shift of blue and orange and more multi holographic sparkles than we know what to do with.   Gotta end this collection on a high note right?  And then you’re buying every single one of these cuz you make good decisions.  I mean, you’ve somehow managed to still be reading this blog, so toots for you my friend.

Under the lamps:

Seriously, the sparkle is insane.  In person, they’re all a driving hazard to the trillionth degree.

Final macros in case you’re on the fence:

Cuz the fence is no place for a lady.

I don’t know what this one is:

Bye bye mojo.

Used the Uber Chic Beauty 15-03 plate if you’re curious.  (You’re not.)  Moving on!

The round up:

The Pony Parade Collection released for pre-sale just yesterday, so you’re all set for shopping!  Each polish is $10 or you can get the whole set for $46.  They also have the set in minis for $30 if that’s your thing.  Head over to the shop and toss em all in the cart.  Serious. I mean it.  Click here immediately.  The sale is available until tomorrow evening (May 1), so we have a dire POLISH EMERGENCY! on our hands.  Don’t miss it, otherwise it’s a sad state of affairs for you.

Now you can sit back, relax and stalk the mailman like a certified loon.  I mean, what other response could be more logical?  You don’t get to CRAZY NAIL LADY by being rational.  And why be obsessesed if you can’t do it properly?

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Glisten & Glow: The 5 Buroughs Collection (plus two Polish Con extras!)

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Four years ago today, hubby was late to his own wedding.  And the fact I almost married my brother seems sooooo much less alarming in comparison.  On April 20, 2013, things weren’t organized well, let’s just say. 

Listen, I suppose this is what happens when you buy the cheap package.  You get a wedding march that starts playing with zero warning whatsoever; you get a coordinator who shoves your just-finished bouquet in your hands WHILE you are walking down the aisle, and you get a preacher who thinks the brother who is giving you away is actually the man you’re about to pledge your life to.  I mean, a little research ahead of time would’ve worked wonders in this scenario.  Maybe a note on a napkin about how if the groom is missing up front, it’s probably not time to start a dadgum wedding yet?  Like, at the minimum, at least.

Regardless, I’m walking and smiling with all eyes on me.  I’m oblivious to the fact my husband isn’t in the room.  Although I’m quite aware of the door right over there that leads to a secret underground moonshine tunnel, cuz when you’re having a hillbilly wedding, what else would you expect?

The preacher has a little twinkle in his eye as he begins the ceremony.  My brother is looking a skosh awkward, and honestly at this point, I just want cake.  There are horrified eyes everywhere.  The vibe in the room is less joyous occasion, more train wreck but with candles.  And still, I stand there smiling, one of just two people who has no idea what is going on.

Eventually, the preacher figures it out and I’m sent back out of the room so I can re-walk down the aisle and pretend I’m having a never-before-seen magical moment.  Completely normal situation – or at least in my life, it is.  Cuz if something’s gotta be awkward, the Universe just gives a big swift shove to my back.  AND THERE I AM.  Most likely with stupid words coming out and high-fiving my way out of the nightmare.

What I’m trying to say is, today is my wedding anniversary.  I’ve managed to stay married an entire four years, despite the ridiculous amount of robe on display.  I’d say I got pretty lucky, cuz if I’m forced to walk back and forth twice through a room, the only acceptable reason would be if hubby was standing at the end of it.  Happy anniversary, my love!

While we all wipe the tears away, let’s talk polish!  I have lots of pretty things from Glisten & Glow to show you today, including the gorgeous 5 Boroughs Collection as well as a couple of Polish Con limited releases.  Y’all need to get on your focus faces cuz it’s about to get suuuuuuper duper pass-out-y in here.  Let’s go!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

First up is the most time crucial, the two Polish Con releases.  Take a look:

Oh so pretty!  Every single one of you are drooling all over these in the most unattractive way possible.  Hope you’ve locked yourself in a room so you can be drool-y in private. Cuz Ugly Ecstasy Face causes divorce if I’m not mistaken.

Here’s A Raisin to Believe:

This one is a dark vampy purple-toned burgundy holographic with added pops of red holo microglitter.  It’s a collaboration shade between Glisten & Glow and beauty blogger Nicole with Hello Miss Niki.  It’s also going in your shopping cart, just so you know.

Macro time!

Isn’t that one of the prettiest purples you’ve ever saw?  Seen?  You’ve ever seen?  Ugh.  One can’t grammar at a time like this.

This polish will be releasing at Polish Con in New York City on April 29 but for all us sad souls who live in the middle of where nothing exciting ever happens, we get to purchase this beauty online on May 5.  It will launch at 9pm EST, so make sure you’ve got Post-It notes on all your surfaces.

Some nail art I did:

And I actually kinda love it!  Let’s revel in whatever amazing thing is happening right now.  Cuz a nail fail is lurking, I feel it.

I used the new Lina Feeling Shapely 09 plate for this design.  Plus, I gradient stamped, which means effort was involved, which means naps for everyone!

Next up is NYC is My Jam:

This one is a berry pink holographic loaded with purple and blue holo microglitters and a dusting of silver holo and copper shimmer.  Only one batch of this polish is being made and will be sold at Polish Con; however, if there are any leftovers, Jill will put them on the website on May 5.

In other words, we’re all buying tickets to Polish Con cuz sitting around while others stuff their bags full of Glisten & Glow is just for the crazy people.

An actual pretty dang good macro:

The blue glitters got me.  They got me good, guys.

More not hideous nail art:

That’s two in a row in case math is hard.  

I used the new Lina Make Your Mark 04 plate, and made some girly skulls.  Very simple design, but stinkin’ adorable!  Toots on the ole horn for me, then.

Also debuting at Polish Con is The 5 Buroughs Collection, a set of 5 beautiful holographic shimmery shades inspired by the five boroughs of New York.  Take a look at these:

Did you just die?  Cuz I sure did.  You’re about to spend some money, I just know it.

First up is Manis in Manhattan:

This one is a dusty purple based mauve holographic with a strong copper shimmer and a dusting of red and silver holo microglitters.  Went on in two fabulous, quick coats.  Perfect for those who have actual shit to do, unlike me who just lays on couches.

Lolling tongues, up ahead:

Gah!  Seriously, we’re never gonna make it to the end of this blog if I keep dying every 15 seconds.

The nail art:

Another one I don’t hate.  And I used the Lina Make Your Mark 04 plate again, cuz when I love something, I love it hardcore.  In a smothering way, as one tends to do.

Next up is Beatboxing in the Bronx:

This one is an olive green holographic with added pink and blue shimmers and a dusting of gold flakies and gold holo microglitters.  Naturally, this is my favorite cuz wherever there is green, there is me trying to reattach my jaw to my face.

We are no longer upright:

Told ya.  Those shimmers are legit gorgeous.  I want this all over my body, except I won’t, cuz SOCIETY.  The judgy eyes are everywhere.

More effort was made here:

Hope there’s a Starbucks coming cuz the sheer amount of nail art happening right now is downright inspirational.  Send Leonardo, too, just in case.

Used the Lina Make Your Mark 04 plate for the billionth time.  More gradient stamping using pink and gold, a little play off those shimmers.  It’s as if I thought this one through or something.  Or maybe the old me isn’t even here right now.  Perhaps I’ve been kidnapped cuz that seems more logical.

Here’s Quick Step in Queens:

This one is a medium grey creme-based holographic loaded with blue shimmers and a very light dusting of gold flakies.  I love shades like this cuz they always look so good against my pale skin tone.  Anything to make the fingers appear less sausage-y.  And in case of random hand modeling scenarios, 27 backup bottles is a super good idea.

You can see the goodies much better here:

Proof I occasionally make cute things:

This might be my favorite one!  Plus, every bit of this is Glisten & Glow products – cuz Jill’s cremes double as stamping polishes.  I’ve used Little Black Dress and ATV in Aruba (the pink) for this design, plus that dadgum Lina Make Your Mark 04 plate again.  Honestly, why obsess if you can’t do it properly?

Next is Brunch in Brooklyn:

This one is a light pink holographic with light pink holo microglitters and a dusting of blue and gold shimmers.  How precious is this shade?  So elegant and dainty.  It simply begs for a tiny cappucino or like, tea with the Queen, as happens to all of us from time to time.

An insane display of pretty:

Figured this one needed 18 pounds of jewelry:

I gave up after only four pieces.  I’m not good at goals, let’s just say.

I’m not even going to tell you which plate I used cuz I’m certain you already know.  After typing out Lina Make Your Mark 04 plate about 18,000 times, not much else can be expected out of me, anyway.

Lastly, here’s Selfies in Staten Island:

This one is a nude holographic loaded with copper, bronze and gold shimmers with a light dusting of silver holo microglitters.  If you like lots of extra holo effect, you’ll definitely want this one.  I can’t think of one decent reason why not.  Perhaps you have no eyes, or you have a black soul.  But after that, NOTHING.

Let’s seal the deal:

DONE.  In the cart, they go!

Here’s some super simple nail art:

Used a different plate, the Lina Feeling Shapely 09 on this one, which means I just ended this blog with a big ole exclamation point.  How’s that for Best Bogger Ever?  And in that case, I’ll take kudos and accolades and a Visa gift card, you know, if y’all not busy.
The round up:

This collection will be available at Polish Con in New York City on April 29, then will be re-released online on May 5 at 9pm EST.  Be sure to get your hands on them, so setting 17 alarms at the minimum sounds right.  Click here for shopping, then sit back, relax, and stalk the mailman.  Cuz no one does crazy nail lady quite like you.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •