The year was 2005, the year of the chunky black shoe.  My daughter, just under 12 years old, was still willing to hug me with both arms, so clearly it a magical time.  It was summer – or maybe spring – and the world was full of green.  And happiness.  Lots and lots of happiness.

But then there was that dadgum trampoline.  Oh yes, all your childhood dreams are coming true.  Visions of flying, carefree and laughing, fill your mind.  Warm nights, laying outside on the cool mesh, staring up at the sky, counting stars.  Sounds dreamy, right?

Ugh.  Not even close.  Unless you’re totally fine with peeing your pants a little, I recommend bypassing the trampoline altogether.

However, what I’m really trying to say is, don’t jump on a trampoline with chunky black shoes on.  Cuz I did that.  And it hurt. A LOT.  I would’ve peed my pants all day long instead if I was given a choice.  Not only that, but the humiliation of having your husband shave just one of your legs so you could go to the hospital for an X-Ray, is too much to bear at times.  Of course, I am quite proud to note that amidst my suffering, I still had my wits about me to be a proper lady.  Again, only one leg, but still.  The fact that me and my husband at that time are now divorced is beside the point.

Fast forward to yesterday.  I got on a trampoline again for the first time in 12 years.  My granddaughter had left her headband outside and I went to retrieve it, and it was supposed to be an in and out real quick kinda thing.  But something took over me (as somethings are wont to do), and I bounced up and down for about 7.2 seconds.  Then naturally, because this is MY life we are talking about, I tweaked my foot as I landed a little off center.  And then as I was crawling out of the safety net, someone had replaced my normal legs with baby deer ones, cuz I swear I was 90 years old trying to get off that thing.  I don’t know if the universe is trying to tell me something (i.e., you’re old, you’re out of shape, stop eating potato chips), but I think I’ll just stick with my constant pajamas plan instead.

So get comfy with me and let’s look at pretty things.  I have two new polishes from Anchor & Heart Lacquer to share with you today.  And I had a nerdy font fest.  Ta da!

With jazz hands, of course.

This year, Taryn is doing a series of 12 polishes called Messages in a Bottle.  Each month will be a new shade, each promoting an empowering message in its name.  And you know what?  I think that’s freakin’ fabulous.  Every single one of us needs to hear something kind and uplifting, and if it comes in the form of a brand new nail polish, well what more justification do you need?  Get off your no-buys, ladies!  These are well worth your pennies.

First up for January is You’ve Got This:

Y’all know I’m not one for nude polishes cuz it makes me look pale and vitamin deficient, but this one … I mean, THIS ONE.  It’s got an extra special something that I absolutely love.  Like those flakies.  Gah!  Flakies make everything better.  And prettier and skinnier, too, probably.

So this one is a pink-tone nude polish with orange/lilac/blue shifting shimmer, pink holo micro glitter and violet/pink/gold shifting flakies.  It’s a neutral, but all dressed up for a party.  I did two coats here, but some might need three for full opacity.  Or you might need three cuz it literally takes superhuman strength to stop polishing with it.  

Macros to drool over:

Okay now that one was ridiculous.  Did you see all that stuff in there?  Why this polish doesn’t cost like a billion dollars, I have no idea.

I made nail art:

I hope you can tell that is a rose pattern, but regardless, isn’t it so precious?  I chose this wine colored stamping polish that complimented those flakies just perfectly.  Or I think so anyway.  But I also think Fritos and an entire can of bean dip is a great idea, so what do I know, really?

The roses came from the Uber Chic Beauty Love and Marriage 03 plate that just released.  I’ve been using it a ton lately, so you all should definitely check it out.

February’s polish is called You Are Enough:

Did you just die?  Cuz I sure did.  That is one heckuva glowy pink.  Wowwwww.  Someone help me put my mouth back on my face, please.  My brain’s stopped holding it closed.  And look, more flakies!  Seriously, Taryn, what are you doing to me? I do not look attractive with my tongue lolling about outside my body.

This one is a dark pink jelly based holo with shimmering pink/orange glass flecks and flakies that shift green/blue/purple.  Again, I did this one in two coats, but if there’s one polish to justify a trip to Polish Mountian, this one might be it.  One hundred layers sounds like a party I can get into.  Cuz although it might be one of the stupidest things I could ever do (aside from that one time where I jumped on a trampoline in boots; ugh), the fact it doesn’t require pants makes it so very appealing.

Better sit down before looking at these:

You okay?  Need a rag for your forehead?  I know.  Nail polish makes you sweaty sometimes.  I get it.

More kinda okay nail art:

Again, used the Uber Chic Beauty Love and Marriage 03 plate, and stamped on some heart images using a blue stamping polish that I thought kinda matched the flakies.  It didn’t really, but it turned out okay.  One thing for sure:  this polish is a true stunner and if it’s not going in your basket, you might wanna consult a doctor CUZ SOMETHING IS WRONG.
The round up:

I can’t think of any better way to spend your Friday night than throwing a couple of these in your shopping cart.  Honestly, you were just gonna put on sweatpants anyway – might as well be useful about it.

These polishes are part of the Messages in a Bottle series (as I mentioned), and despite the fact they are January and February offerings, you will be able to snag these any time.  Except let’s go ahead and take care of that now, just in case.  Release date is Friday, January 27 at 9pm EST so make sure you have Post-It Notes on all your surfaces.  Then click here to shop. There’s an initial preorder thru January 31 with shipping to start one week later, then once all that’s done, they will be fully in stock in February. 

Can’t wait to see what the year holds for Anchor & Heart – what more empowering, uplifting messages we will find.  I’m okay with fast forwarding to March anyway.  It can stop being 40-degrees any time now.

Later, loves!