Three Polish Con blogs, three days straight, and you’d think I negotiated some sort of world peace treaty with as much excitement, high fiving and general horn tooting that is happening over here.  Seriously, I’m impressing even myself considering how much effort I exude on a day to day basis.  I mean, if my office chair didn’t have wheels on it, I have no idea how I’d get over to the copy machine.  Or to the donuts on top of the file cabinet.  Ugh.  It’s a dire situation, the day they take the wheels away.

So yeah, look at me being all overachieve-y.  Spelling Bee Champion of 1987, and now THIS.  How I’m not married to Leonardo DiCaprio at this point is beyond all the comprehensions.

More polish today!  This time, our friend Dave from Octopus Party Nail Lacquer has come out with a trio of shades to debut at Polish Con this weekend and every single one of them is down below.  Bye bye checkbook and all pretenses of ladylike composure, cuz it’s about to get super elbow jabby in about 2.5 seconds.  GIMME.

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Told ya.  Want, want and NEED.  That’s your new motto.

First up is Blue York:

This one is a deliciously smooth blue jelly base filled with linear holo and lots of pink iridescent shimmer.  It’s such a pretty shade; it requires extra supervision in case of accidental painting of all the surfaces.  Hubby loves being married to me, I just know it.

A macro EXTRAVAGANZA!:

OMG.  Did you just die?  Cuz I sure did.

Guess who’s buying a bottle of this plus 27 back up bottles?  Cuz this is no time to be rational, that’s why.

Next up is The Pleasure Principal:

This one is a plum based multichrome that shifts from purple to blue to teal with a touch of orange on the edges.  And honestly, I can’t even think of proper words to describe my feelings for this beauty.  Words have left me, and now only moan-y throat noises will suffice.

Can’t stop, won’t stop:

Under the lamps, cuz I had to.  Clearly:

Sealed the deal, didn’t I?  Just try leaving this blog without tossing this one in the basket.  It’s nigh on impossible.  Unless you don’t like happiness.  Or have no eyes.  I dunno.

Two more macros, a thousand more buckets of drool:

Lastly, here’s MoMA Said Knock You Out:

This one is a bleached pastel mint crème with hidden purple flakies.  In fact, they are so hidden I almost didn’t see them unti I got up extra close.  And for a light colored creme, this had a nice, fluid formula.  I did three thin coats with zero streaks.  Self-leveled like a dadgum champion.  Basically a dreamboat in a bottle.  With ecstasy and a Starbucks on top.

An ultra lame macro:

Sometimes macro-ing cremes makes not a lick of sense.  Although you can see those flakies, so I suppose there’s that.  BEST BLOGGER EVER, in case you’re curious.

All of these shades will be available at Polish Con in New York this Saturday, April 29, so if you’re headed that way, then I only hate you a tiny bit.  For the rest of us sad souls who live nowhere near anything this exciting, you can pick up these beauties during the online restock.  Here’s the deets:

Blue York and MoMA Said Knock You Out – retail price is $11 at Polish Con or $12 during the restock

The Pleasure Principal – retail price is $12 at Polish Con or $13 during the restock

Restock dates are May 5 at 11am EST through May 7 at 12pm EST.  MoMA and Blue York will be available as a pre-order, but The Pleasure Principal is a 70 bottle batch only.  So POLISH EMERGENCY! is what I’m saying.

Click here to order!  And now … PAJAMAS.  Enjoy the rest of your day!

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

In a random act of extreme short-lived inspiration, I pulled all my work pants out of the closet and threw them on the bathroom floor in preparation for laundry.  Four days later, they are still there.  It’s amazing how long a person can continue to walk around a pile of dirty clothes on the floor.  At this point, it’s just become furniture.  It may stay there for eons with light years and eternities on top, you know, depending on when hubby decides to put it in the washing machine.  Cuz while I am quite aware the pile only exists cuz of Pants-Pulling Frenzy circa 96 hours ago, I can also ignore laundry like a dadgum champion.

Currently, I have three separate piles of clothes going.  One is a basket of clean ones that have actually sat there long enough for them to have probably become dirty again through simple neglect.  The other two are basketless, which the housekeeper just vacuums around every week, most likely in a judgy kind of way.  Listen, the whole reason I have a housekeeper is because of those piles; otherwise, what would be the point then?  You don’t get to Lazy, Level EXPERT by putting away your own laundry, I’ll tell ya that much. 

In related news, the only thing left in my closet pants-wise is a pair of green khakis that I haven’t fit into properly since 2009.  So work on Friday was almost a no-pants-HR-violation sort of scenario, but I chose to just leave them unbuttoned for 9 hours instead.  I mean, they were (mostly) zipped up all the way, at least.  Pretty sure that still qualifies as business casual.  Although the no-pants option would have been enjoyed immensely, just to be clear.

While we wait for another wave of laundry inspiration to hit (might be never; I dunno), I have a real life polish emergency to share.  It might be the most emergency-est of all time, so pay super close attention just in case.  Look:

It’s a multichrome EXTRAVAGANZA! straight from our pal Dave at Octopus Party Nail Lacquer.  This is the Game of Thrones / A Song of Ice and Fire trio, three spectacular shifty, shimmery dreamboats that you’re about to fall in love with super hardcore.  However, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, they’re only available for 22 hours.  After that, it’s a sad state of affairs for everyone.  So get off your no-buys people, as this is a legit polish emergency and therefore justified to the trillionth percent.

First up is Sweet Summer Child:

Okay, so this is how it’s gonna be?  With the mouth gaping and the tongue lolling?  We just got started!  I’ll be divorced by the end of this blog, seeing how unattractive I’m about to get.  There’s only so much sexy to go around while holding a drool bucket, ya know?

So this one is a red-toned purple with magenta shift that turns a little orange at extreme angles.  There’s a bit of blue shimmer and multichrome flakies mixed in as well for extra specialness.  Excellent, opaque formula in basically one coat.  Except I did two cuz CAN’T STOP POLISHING.  I lub it so much.

Macros, in case you want to pass out a little:

That orange shimmer is a bit shy under lamps.  Outside in shade or on cloudy days, you can see it much better.  Here’s a very lame attempt:

Points for putting pants on though.  Best blogger ever, is what you’re thinking.

Next up is Stoneheart:

Gah!  How are we still upright?  Someone needs to roll me over a couch in case of surprise fainting.  Bring a Starbucks.  And Leonardo, just in case.  One must always be prepared.  Cuz someone’s holding the big leaf fan, and hell if it’s me.

If you love bright pink, this one is bright pink times a billion.  It’s a glorious shimmery fuchsia with an orange shift in extreme angles.  I don’t have an outdoor photo of this one due to only one pants-on session per day allowed.  But if you look at the top of the bottle, you can see that orange peeking out.  And there’s blue shimmer too, for maximum drool effect.

A ridiculous display of pretty:

Yep, you’re about to spend some money.  I can already tell.

Lastly, here’s I Drink and I Know Things:

This one is my favorite.  Cuz there’s nothing better than a green and purple combo.  Well, except for biscuits and gravy.  Or, like a jumbo bag of Funyuns and the house to yourself.  But after that, NOTHING.

Macros to seal the deal:

Seriously, though.  The flakies.  The dadgum flakies!  How you’re able to turn your back on this one, it’s beyond comprehension.  Maybe you don’t like happiness.  Maybe you have no eyes.  I dunno.  Either way, I’m var var concerned about the state of your brain.

One more:

Gotcha.  I knew it would.

The round up:

This trio will be available tomorrow, March 26 (or could be this evening in certain time zones) from midnight through 10pm EST.  That’s a mere 22 hours to organize your life.  If you miss the window, well how sad will you be then?  (Very.)  In other words, just do what I say.  I MEAN IT.

Cost will be $11 each and shipping for all three is only $4.  Click here to shop!  Then sit back, relax and revel in your excellent decision skills.  Toots for you! (And gift cards for me.)

I’m gonna go stare at this pile of laundry and see if anything happens. Maybe (hopefully) magic or teleportation, at the minimum, lest I have to display some sort of effort on a Saturday night.  In which case, the words NO BUENO come immediately to mind.  Ugh.

Later, loves!

To all my U.S. friends, Happy Thanksgiving! The countdown to mashed potatoes has begun!  I’m not sure how much sense I’m going to make in this blog post because I literally have potato brain right now.  But let’s give it a go anyway.  I’ll try to keep it as short and sweet as possible, although have you read this blog before?    Short and sweet isn’t my strong point.  However, if you’re into utter nonsense, well then today is your day.

I received six lovely polishes from Octopus Party Nail Lacquer to share with you.  There is a 4-piece winter collection available exclusively at Ella Ann Cosmetics, as well as a gorgeous holiday duo.  Are you ready?  Well then, let us go.

We’ll start with the 4-piece Ella Ann exclusive since it releases first.  This collection is full of beautiful bling. There’s holo and glitter everywhere in here.  Sounds like a party you wanna go to, doesn’t it?  I mean, for you, yes.  I, however, like to lay on couches.  And not in a sexy way.

First up is Edge of Velveteen:

What a darling color!  I was unexpectedly surprised by this one.  Yes, I could see it was pretty in the bottle, but on the nail it’s just wowza.  Elegant with a twist.  I’m sure you know exactly what I mean by that.  Best polish describer EVER.

Not sure what color you’d call it, but it reminds me of marsala, last year’s Pantone Color of the Year. A deep pink with a touch of purple and red. A nice smattering of holographic sparkle. And two spectacular coats. This one gets a gold star.

Next up is this lovely little glitter topper called On the Frocks:

Well, I’m no expert on glitter toppers, so I just went for it.  I sponged the heck out of my two middle fingers just to see what kind of coverage I could get on top of naked nails.  And while you see quite a bit of peek-a-boo, it still looks pretty good and I actually prefer to wear it this way.  However,  I did a couple nails with the topper over white so you could see your choices. Don’t worry; I got you boo.  

Outdoor shot just for funsies:

I put pants on for that photo, since an outside/no pants scenario is illegal and whatnot.  Again, I got you.

Next up is Amulet:

Guuurrrrrrllllllll.  This one is ridiculous.  You think it’s just a simple gold holo, but then BAM, you’re a puddle of goo on the floor.  It’s ultra sparkly and just as perfect as can be.  I have proof.

My eyes, my eyes!  I even threw in that extra macro because it’s quite an impressive photo if you ask me. So much gold in one place.  If you have party plans this holiday season, you’re gonna have to get this one for sure.  I can’t think of anything more anti-pajamas than this one right here.  

Outdoor shot.  Again with the pants.  My love for you knows no limits.

Last polish in the 4-piece collection is this delicious little thing, Stag Party: 

Well, who needs a candy bar?  I do, I do!  I loooooove chocolate browns like this.  They’re just so rich and lovely.  This particular one was a one-coater, which I know means heaps to some of you.  I, however, prefer to polish my nails, coat after coat, for nigh on eternity, complete with glaze-y eyes and a touch of drool.

I’m quite aware that’s not normal.

Last outdoor shot for you cuz this pants thing is officially ridiculous:

I’ll have ordering info at the bottom of this post, so make sure you read to the very end.  Do not skip over this next part.  DON’T DO IT.  It took me 18 hours to write, and there’s a GREEN one, so … 

Here’s the Holiday Duo:

Aaaaaack!  So pretty.  You need and you need.

First one is called Ring My Belle:

This is straight up holographic madness.   Look at all the rainbows.  Heart eyes times a billion.

Another outside shot.  I thought we were done, but this holo was begging for it.  So enjoy guys.  Cuz after all this, future activities are INDOORS ONLY like the good Lord intended.

Dang.  I’ll admit that was worth it.  Looks good on it’s own, but I can see a ton of awesome holiday nail art manis just waiting to happen.

Now, for the grand finale, and my personal favorite, the Green Goddess herself, here is Fir Elise:

Soooo with the wait. That green shimmer’s got me. It’s got me good, guys. If I didn’t already own this polish, I’d be buying like 17 bottles of it. You know, a back-up to the back-up sort of thing, cuz IT CAN NEVER RUN OUT. I refuse. My life would be a facsimile of a sham without it. 

This outdoor shot – and the absolute last one, I swear – was taken as the sun was nearing its descent. Look how tan my fingers are! Then look back at the nail polish, cuz that is the point after all. 

I am done.  Dead.  Thank you, Dave, for bringing this beauty into the world.

The round up:

I don’t know why I do these “available now” collages, as they all aren’t technically available at all.  Please read this important release info:

The 4-piece winter collection is available exclusively at Ella Ann Cosmetics.  Pre-sale starts this evening, Thanksgiving night, November 24 (we’re all clear now?) at 10pm EST.  Price is discounted to $42 for all four polishes for the first hour only.  Then afterwards, regular price for the set is $52.  Basically what I’m saying is SET YOUR ALARMS.  You should all be over your turkey comas by then.

Pre-sale runs until Sunday, November 27 at 10pm EST.  This set is also available as singles if you choose to go that way.  Although, WHY? is the real question.

As for the Holiday Duo, this will be sold on the Octopus Party Nail Lacquer site.  Available for pre-sale (strictly as a duo) only on Cyber Monday, November 28, from 11am to 5pm EST.  Price for the duo is $20 for the first half hour only, so make sure you got your shopping face on.  Afterwards, price goes to $23.  In addition, you get 20% off everything in the store and no code is needed.  How easy is that?  (Very.) 

Okay, you are well-equipped with as much Black Friday knowledge as I could muster.  I’m setting you loose out into the world, my babies.  Do your mama proud.

Later, loves!

I just figured out what marriage is for.

You know how there are times when you are taking a bath, shaving and exfoliating and whatnot, then you lay in there for about an hour falling asleep and watching YouTube videos?

Well, sometimes you wake up and forget where you left off, so you just get out and end up going to bed with soap still on your back.  Only to discover it the next morning with zero minutes extra time to spare to do anything substantial about it.

Needless to say, I got my very first sponge bath.  Hubby kind of gave me a tiny stink eye when I said I needed a washcloth.  And that he needed to get it really hot and rub it all over my back.  And that he needed to do it while I was still sitting in bed because it’s cold out there.  I’m not sure he enjoyed any bit of any of it, but because we are married, that’s the answer to everything that I don’t want to take care of myself.

Like bug killing.  Lawn mowing.  Making me a sandwich.  Doesn’t he know this by now?

While he contemplates, let me tell you about nail polish!  I received more fall polishes from Octopus Party Nail Lacquer, Fall 2016 Part 2 to be exact.  There are four holo beauties made exclusively for Ella Ann Cosmetics, and will go on presale September 24.  Let’s look!

First is called Prey For Me:

Welp, I’m dead.  Dead and hungry for some chocolate.  Do you see that luscious brown?  Another of my favorite fall colors.  Actually, it’s one of my favorite colors ever.  I’m sure there’s a color-code personality test out there having a field day with that.

Under the lamps:

Do you see that holo?  Do you see how pale I am?  Ugh.

Perfect two coat coverage.  Smooth application.  Looks delicious.  I can’t think of any reason why you haven’t bought this polish.  Except for the fact it’s not available yet.  But that point is moot.

Yep, you’re sucked in now.  I’ve officially won the day.  I’m gonna go ahead and get back in pajamas now.

Now here’s Hocus Focus:

Is it blue?  Is it purple?  It’s both.  This one has a mostly blue base but that flash of purple can be seen at all angles.  Lots of pretty holo.  For real, you guys.  You’ll love this one.  Even if brown is your favorite color.

Again, two coats of perfection.  A real pleasure to apply.  And that’s not just me being dorky.  (Okay, maybe a little.)

You can see the purple flash in this macro really good:

She’s lovely!  Also, I’m mesmerized by my own cuticles.  I can’t draw a stick in a straight line, but I dare you to tell me that cuticle line isn’t on point.  Not meaning to toot my own horn, but give me something here.  I got hit in the face with a basketball in sixth grade, so I’ve sat down the rest of my life since.  I need to claim my special skills somewhere.  OCD helps.

Next up is the steely gray beauty, Suffocation:

There’s a slight hint of purple in this one too.  It goes on a bit purple-y taupe-y mauve-y gray-y, which is probably the most amazing display of color description you’ve ever seen.  Well, I am a professional, so …

Just put a -y on the end of everything.  Nobody argues with that kind of logic.  Try it. After you finish with the -ying of all the words, you’ve confused everyone anyway.  They’ll just agree to get you to move on.  It’s pretty-y with a bit of ugly-y, homely-y beautiful-y.  Yep, no one knows what it truly is now.

SHUT UP, BRAIN.

Here’s some holo:

Looks mostly gray under the lights.  Or silver-y.

There’s that bit of purple!  She likes to hide, but she’s in there I promise.  And not that I need to mention it again (but I will in case you’ve skipped the entire beginning of this post for some [stupid] reason), but this is two dreamy coats.  And I love her.  I love her so much.

Last but not least is Butch Gardens:

If that brown one wasn’t in this collection, this teal green would be my favorite.  It’s just such a pretty color.  I thought it looked really nice on the nail, kinda classy despite not being a “traditional” office-y (!) shade.

But honestly, are there office-y shades anymore anyway?  Nail polish just isn’t nude and pink like they used to be.  And thank goodness too.  I do not look classy in nudes.  I look like girl needs a dang vitamin.  Some electrolytes.  Somethin’.

I love the holo on this color:

You better be setting an alarm right about now.  Because if you miss this pre-sale, you will be the saddest most disappointed person in the whole world.  And that’s probably not even an exaggeration because everyone knows there is UTTER HAPPINESS found in these teeny tiny jars.

Well, nail girls know.

Ugh.  Do you see?!  My heart is full.

The round up:

Goodness, those are pretty!  Each one of these polishes applied fully in two coats.  And then I had to physically tear myself away from them because I could’ve sat there all day adding another layer, another layer, another layer .. I was almost in full-fledged crazy mode, but I (somehow) managed to reign it in.

Be sure to stop by Ella Ann Cosmetics this Saturday, September 24 to place your pre-order.  If you find yourself with an effed up priority list and can’t make it Saturday for some reason, the pre-sale will be open until October 1.  Then you can sit back, relax, and wait for your pretties.

Later, loves!