Category Archives: Nails

Nov30

Scofflaw Varnish: Polish Pickup December 2017

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Welcome to my 7,397th blog in a row.  The carpal tunnel situation is legit no joke.  But because I am a PROFESSIONAL BLOGGER EXTRAORDINAIRE, we soldier on anyway.  Sooooo … a little horn toot, perhaps?  I mean, all this effort’s worth a half of one at least.

Oooooh, coffee just appeared out of nowhere!  Topped with whipped cream and booze.  GAH!  After rice cakes and starvation and bowls of sad baby carrots, an award has officially come.  Thank you to hubby for being so sweet!  Either he loves me or is just tired of watching me cry when I get near Cheetos.  Regardless, we shall stay married for one more day.

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Nov30

BLUSH Lacquers: Polish Pickup December 2017

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Reason #237 why this diet thing is lame:  rice cakes taste NOTHING like Cheetos.  Ugh.  I’m trying so hard to be good, but this potato chip-free HELL we’re in is about to reach a breaking point.  Cuz one cannot live on food that tastes like a wad of chewed up paper – coated in zesty ranch flavoring, but still.

So excuse me while I go cry into a bowl of baby carrots (again).  It is a sad state of affairs for ME.

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Nov29

My Stunning Nails: Polish Pickup December 2017

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The sun has officially gone away, so how anything is getting done today we’ll NEVER freaking know. Ugh.

Anyone else not interested in normal human function when it’s dark and dreary outside?  Like, the walking-on-two-feet thing or the putting of food into your own mouth with your own hands kinda deal?  Seriously, I’m about *thisclose* to just wheeling myself around in my office chair cuz being upright is a commitment I’m just not ready to make today.

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Nov29

Fair Maiden Polish: Polish Pickup December 2017

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OMG, are we done yet?  NO.  Welcome to your Bonus Blog! Y’all better be loving this cuz who carpal tunnels for no dadgum good reason?  NOT THIS LADY!

Making it short and sweet once again cuz I’m really trying to keep the momentum going.  I mean, I finished some swatching about three hours ago and then spent the next eternity changing the wallpaper in my fake bakery, sooooo .. things are going quite well on the blogging front, clearly.  How I’m not finished with all 7,397 drafts in the queue is beyond allll the comprehensions.

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Nov28

Pahlish: Polish Pickup December 2017

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The blogging frenzy continues!  Real quickie this afternoon cuz I’ve already fallen asleep like 18 times since typing this sentence.  One of these days, I’ll sleep like a normal person, I swear it.

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Nov28

LynBDesigns: Polish Pickup December 2017

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Bonus Blog!  I know we were just in here, but I’ve got ten Polish Pickups to do this month, which is the most I’ve ever had to do at one time.  And considering how well I’ve handled things in the past (as in, not very, AT ALL) I’m making a real, legit attempt this time.  Cuz who wants to read about the Polish Pickup before all the polish goes away forever?  It’s the most ideal scenario, I’m sure of it.  PROFESSIONAL BLOGGER EXTRAORDINAIRE?  I say YES.

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Nov27

Night Owl Lacquer: Polish Pickup December 2017

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Black Friday = DONE.  All the swatching!  All the blogging!  All the DADGUM EFFORTING!  Seriously, the sweat bead mustache’s been at an all-time high.  Last night I did two loads of laundry and then folded all of it STRAIGHT OUT OF THE DRYER, sooo… now we’re all basically confused about whose blog this is, cuz it’s certainly not mine. A facsimile of mine, maybe.  I mean, my 18-month-old laundry pile begat other laundry piles and pretty much my closet and bedroom floor have became interchangeable.  So again, we’re in the wrong blog, SURELY.

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Nov25

Noodles Nail Polish: Holiday 2017 Collection 

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GUYS.  I did it.  All the Black Friday posts, blogged and DONE.  I mean, I didn’t do it on time or anything, but that is beside the point.  Cuz it’s Small Business Saturday, which is basically Black Friday but with less elbow jabs to the face, soooo … if you feel like sending bonus points, AS ALWAYS, I’ll take a thousand.

Lots of swatching happening today, plus hubby wants to go buy a Christmas tree.  We had one last year, but it wouldn’t fit back in the box after we took it down and then some sort of blind rage-type scenario happened.  Have you ever punched a Christmas tree?  I mean, if you want to feel about 27 levels of not-very-classy, go punch a Christmas tree.  It’s the most ridiculous thing you’ll ever do.

So before we head out to go do stuff (and wear pants against my will), let’s talk polish!  Natalie with Noodles Nail Polish sent me a whooooole lotta pretty to share with you today.  And what do we do when new Noodles are happening? 

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We pass the hell on out now, that’s what.  Big puddle of goo?  THAT’S YOU.

This is the Holiday 2017 Collection and they’re all so stinkin’ lovely, it hurts to look.  Excuse me while I sit here and cry over nail polish, cuz nothing says NOT NORMAL than getting emotional over bottles full of holo and glitter.  Unless you’ve, perhaps, punched a Christmas tree or something.

I’m not crazy, you’re crazy.

Here’s your quick rundown of colors.  Drool!  Swoon! Enjoy!  REPEAT.  You’re about to have a most unattractive day in case you didn’t know.

WRAPPED UP

DESCRIPTION:  A soft pinkish-red jelly packed with gold, copper and pink flakies and fine gold glitter

OPACITY:  Three coats plus glossy top coat

JOLLY DAYS

DESCRIPTION:  A deep berry creme with silver and red flakies, fine silver holographic glitter and red shimmer

OPACITY:  Two coats plus glossy top coat

CHRISTMAS CHEER

DESCRIPTION:  A green holographic with silver flakies and green shimmer

OPACITY:  Two coats, but I did three cuz GREEEEEEN!

DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW 

DESCRIPTION:  A clear based snowflake glitter topper with white, gold, metallic and gold holographic glitters

OPACITY:  One coat swiped over a black base; excellent glitter payoff and fun, fun, fun

RESTING GRINCH FACE

DESCRIPTION:  A white crelly with neon green glitters, red and green metallic glitters, mini red hearts and fine silver holographic glitter

OPACITY:  Two coats, although some may prefer three; excellent self-leveling, non-streaky white crelly formula (hooray!)

SEEING IS BELIEVING 

DESCRIPTION:  A full coverage silver flakie and silver holographic glitter polish with a green and red glitter mix

OPACITY:  Two coats was good, but I did three due to invisible naked spots only I could see; being me is the BEST FUN EVER

BAH HUM BUG

DESCRIPTION:  A holographic polish with purple shimmer and soft blue to violet shift

OPACITY:  Two coats plus glossy top coat

SILENT NIGHT

DESCRIPTION:  A purple jelly with fuchsia, silver, cherry and sapphire glitters and blue/purple chameleon chrome flakies

OPACITY:  Three thin coats plus glossy top coat

THE ROUND UP 


We gots a dire case of the Grabby Fingers, y’all!  You’re gonna need like 18,000 bottles at minimum.  Plus backups, for SAFETY.  No sense in being normal at a time like this.  The deets:

Each bottle retails for $9.50

However, Black Friday deals are still going on (Seeeee?  Told you I was on time, kinda sorta.) and there’s a coupon.  Use code IBCFRIDAY to get 20% off a $10+ purchase.  Sooooo, now things are practically free and that 18,000 bottle thing up there?  A bonafide justication scenario to like the trillionth degree.

Other Black Friday goodies:

* Free mystery polish with purchase of 5 or more bottle

* All orders receive a free mini culticle balm

* OMG, GET ON THIS!

Sale ends Monday, November 27 at 11:59pm EST, but why delay happiness?  Go now or else.  The collection will still be available after the sale as long as there’s stock, but who feels like taking chances today?  NOT A DADGUM ONE OF US, that’s who.

Where to buy:  http://www.noodlesnailpolish.com

Bonus clicking opportunities!  Connect with Noodles Nail Polish:

Instagram

Facebook

Fan Group

Later, loves!

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Nov24

Glisten & Glow: Glorious Glistenettes Small Batch Thermals

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How many people got a Black Friday-style elbow jab to the face today?  Who crawled out of bed at 3am to stand amongst the crazies at the door to Toys R Us?  Who waited in the drive thru at Starbucks for like half an hour cropping and watermarking swatch photos until coffee finally came?  NOT THIS LADY!

Okay, well that Starbucks thing was me, but all the rest?  NEVER.  Black Friday gives me the hives, y’all.  Too many people, all up in my business.  Shopping carts all trying to go down the same aisle.  Arms, everywhere.  Plus, the surprising lack of pajamas is just too much to bear sometimes.

However, there was a coffee emergency.  Hubby left early for work this morning and then I laid in bed for the next four hours waiting for Starbucks to just appear in my hand like magic.  IT NEVER FREAKING DID.  Ugh.  So basically I had no choice but to venture out in traffic, with pants on and everything, and get in line for the next eternity all for the love of a peppermint mocha.  I was soooo brave, you guys!  Seriously, if there’s an award coming, I’ll take a Leonardo.

Speaking of emergencies, y’all need to FOCUS.  The Glisten & Glow Black Friday & Beyond sale is officially underway and nail polish is happening to like the trillionth degree.  Take a look at the next thing you’re buying, as in today, as in right now:

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GAH!  Are you seeing this?  Purples and blues and flakies and loooooooove.  I don’t know what else you got planned for today, but tossing a bunch of THIS in the cart sounds like the most logical.

Introducing the Glorious Glistenettes trio, a set of three beautiful small batch thermal polishes that you never knew you needed.  You do, you do!  They’re absolutely lovely, but they’re also 80% sold out sooooo … if you’re thinking about a proper time to have yourself a panic attack, right now would be it.

Now we’re in a hurry.  In an effort to not spend the next 18 years in here chatting about stupid stuff, let me just say:

1.  Formula was a consistent, fantastic two coats

2.  No issues with application whatsoever; practically effortless

3.  Annnnd, you had me at effortless.  All other points are moot.  

LOVE ALWAYS

DESCRIPTION:  A purple to pink thermal holographic with red shimmer, purple holo microglitter and color shifting flakies

Just the warm version:

Now the cool:

And gradient macros. Oooooh, the overachieve-y!

LAUGH OFTEN

DESCRIPTION:  A lilac to light green thermal holographic with aqua shimmer, silver holo microglitter and color shifting flakies

The warm:

The cool:

Back to the gradient:

DREAM BIG

DESCRIPTION:  A periwinkle to silver thermal holographic with copper shimmer, red holo microglitter and color shifting flakies

Full view of the warm:

Full view of the cool:

And finally, gradient macros to drool over:

THE ROUND UP 

Seriously guys.  If you’ve got a thing for thermals, these are spectacular.  But did we expect anything less from Glisten & Glow?  NO WE DID NOT.  Jill’s got this polish thing on lock, y’all.

Very important shopping deets:

Sale is going on now and will run through Monday, November 27 at 11:59pm EST.  However, let me stress to you ONE MORE TIME, these thermals are 80% sold out.  I’m not the best at math, but even I can tell that’s not good news.  Who’s missing out on all this pretty?  CERTAINLY NOT YOU.

Use discount code BFANDBEYOND2017 to get 30% off your order.  Which translates to free as far as I’m concerned.  Shopping cart full of nail polish = completely and officially JUSTIFIED.

Where to buy:  http://www.glistenandglow.com

Lastly, some linky loos! Connect with Glisten & Glow:

Instagram

Facebook 

Fan Group 

Now GO GO GO!  Get your pretties before they’re gone.  Pick up some top coat and some cremes and the new nail care products while you’re at it.  It’s Black Friday; what better way to celebrate?  Pants or no pants, that’s up to you.

Later, loves!

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Nov23

Fair Maiden Polish: Tipsy Christmas Collection + Black Friday Deals

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Three hours from mashed potatoes and I. CAN’T. WAIT.  Thought I would pop on real quick and talk about some nail polish because honestly I don’t know what sort of shape I’ll be in later.  It’s a day full of carbs, y’all!  Plus a diet soda, you know, for SAFETY.

It really sucks to be counting calories on Thankgiving cuz everything I want has gravy on it.  I suppose I could go sans gravy, but OMG!, I about cried just typing that.  Blah.  I’m not even gonna pretend that’s normal.

So I’ve officially declared today a cheat day.  I’ll try to be somewhat good, but maybe let’s keep the judgy eyes to a minimum just in case.  Who’s that log on the couch with her pants undone, clearly being sexy but desperately trying to stay married?  Yeah, that’s me, prettttty sure.

Okay.  Nail polish.  Let’s go!  Here is something beautiful from Sarah and Adrienne, the lovely ladies behind Fair Maiden Polish.  You want this:

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Told ya.  18,000 bottles, and in the cart they go!  Cuz now is not the time for rational behavior.

This is the Tipsy Christmas collection, a set of 4 soft-toned shades loaded with all sorts of multi-dimensional goodies.  Flakies and holo and jaw-dropping shifts … seriously guys, if you haven’t already drooled in roughly a thousand buckets, well then you are most definitely a robot.

A glorious parade of colors.  Brace yourself for the swoons!

JINGLE YOUR BELLS OFF

DESCRIPTION:  An elegant sage green with intense copper flame and subtle holographic hints

OPACITY:  Three coats plus glossy top coat

SLEIGH ALL DAY 

DESCRIPTION:  A creamy soft lavender with red shimmer flame, subtle violet/gold shift with holo sparkle

OPACITY:  Three coats plus glossy top coat

DON’T HOG THE NOG

DESCRIPTION:  A rosy gold multichrome with magenta/copper/gold shift and holo sparkle throughout

OPACITY:  Two coats plus glossy top coat

LET’S GET BLITZENED

DESCRIPTION:  A muted blue with holo sparkle and teal to purple chroma shifting flakies

OPACITY:  Two coats plus glossy top coat

THE ROUND UP 

Want, want and 27 levels of YES PLEASE.  That’s your new motto.

This collection releases tonight, November 23 at 11pm CST.  So despite that mashed potato coma you’re in, you will FIND A WAY to get your shopping done.  Fair Maiden up top, people!  I’m serious.  Here’s all you need to know:

Full set of 4 polishes retail for $43 (full size) or $28 (mini size)

Single bottles retail for $11

HOWEVER!  There’s a coupon.  Use code TIPSY25 at checkout to receive 25% off your order.  Whyyyyy, that’s practically free!  All the more reason to toss nail polish in the cart with your eyes closed.  Weeee!

Other deals:

* 14 prototype mystery polishes

* Free Holiday 2017 polish with $50+ order (automatically added to cart; no effort!)

* The $5 doorbuster polish, It’s Lit, will be available but capped at 100 bottles; once it’s gone – it’s gone FOREVER!  Soooo … first in line then?  YEP, sounds about right.  

Discount does not apply to the doorbuster and there’s a 2 bottle max.  To see my review of It’s Lit (plus 14 other polishes in the Indie Brand Collective Black Friday sale), click here.

Where to buy:  http://www.fairmaidenpolish.com

Bonus clicking opportunities!  Connect with Fair Maiden Polish:

Instagram

Facebook

Fan Group

Alright, that’s it.  Gotta get my game plan ready for dinner.  Most likely involving stretchy pants, as there isn’t a no-pants option while out in public.  Ugh, SOCIETY.  You are ZERO fun sometimes.

Later, loves!

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