Sure wish hubby would go be stupid so I’ll have something to write about in this blog soon.  I mean, it’s been at least two years since he tripped over the door and fell in the house, so I’m pretty sure we’re due for a good one.  But nothing that involves the hands, though, cuz I’ll be needing sandwiches at some point.

So maybe he’ll wake up to a face full of cat butthole.  Or perhaps a bird will poop on his eye while he’s minding his own business, and then spend the next 37 years self-diagnosing himself on the internet. Cuz that happened to me, and I’m a trillion percent certain it’s wayyyy funnier when I’m not involved. 

Until then, however, this blog may have an extraordinary amount of BLANK SCREEN happening, which I assume makes for a very boring story. Unless you have no eyes. I dunno. 

Let’s talk polish!  I received two new collections from Lindsay with Night Owl Lacquer – a summery quad and a collaboration duo – and I’m super excited to show you.  Are you ready for a whoooooooole lotta pretty? Well then lessss go!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

THIS.  Lordt. We’re already drool-y. 

Okay, so here is the Beach Life Collection, four of the prettiest neon holographic flakie glittery goodnesses that ever lived.  GUYS. They’re GLORIOUS!  And you want them, oh yes you do. 

First up is Life is Good Today:

This one has a neon orange base with gold galaxy holo microglitter, red/gold microflakies and different sized lime/gold and orange/green iridescent color shifting glitters.

Also possibly Cheeto cheese, and in which case, WE LUB IT MORE. 

My eyes my eyes!  All that in two magical coats.

Macro, a prelude to the 27 bottles you’re buying:

Then I did some nail art:

And I don’t hate it! It’s not gonna win a prize or anything, but we’ll take this brief moment of mojo while we can.  Also, used the new Uber Chic Beauty 18-02 plate for this one.

Next up is Where the Ocean Meets the Sky:

This one has a bright blue base with iridescent sparks, neon blue microflakies and silver holo shreds. I just love it!  The color is divine.  For real, I’m roughly 2.5 seconds away from sticking my fingers in people’s faces. Although surprisingly, strangers don’t wanna look at mah nails! quite like you’d expect.  Seriously though, they should LOOK AT THEM.  I mean it.

If you’re thinking HAND MODEL!, you are correct.

An insane display of flakie:

You done died. You did. 

Some mediocre nail art:

Meh.  I don’t dislike it, but I sadly covered up too much of the blue. In my dreams, though, this looks freaking FABULOUS.  Used the Lina Feeling Shapely 09 plate if you’re curious.  (Are you though? Prolly not this time.) 

Now here’s Toes in the Sand:

This one has a light sandy nude base packed full of gold shift, gold microflakies and clear galaxy holo microglitter. It’s such a precious, dainty little shade. Practically begs for a tiny cappuccino. Pinkies up, y’all!  Cuz we are a bunch of classy ladies whether we like it or not. 

Now, imagine this polish on someone whose fingers are slightly less sausage-y …

I know, right?! In the basket she goes!

That shimmer! So swoon-y. 

Scroll past this one:

Cuz stamping with your eyes closed is never a good thing. Clearly. Ugh.  Used the Moyra Dreamology 27 plate in case recreations are in order. Bahahahahaha!

Blah. 

Lastly, here’s Cold Drink in My Hand:

FOCUS. Cuz GREEN is happening.  Glorious, beautiful, mind altering green.  There’s probably a formula thing and a coats thing and maybe even other things, but at this point it’s all moot. As soon as I get control of my brain, then we’ll see. 

This one has a neon green base with bright green sparks and holo flakies, and if it ends up on all the surfaces, well that’s the most logical next step. 

Brace yourself for a noodle legs epidemic:

BIG. PUDDLE. OF GOO. Dang. 

Here’s a thing I did:

Please tell me you know this is a kiwi. Cuz I showed this to my mother and she yells FIREWORKS! like an excited 4 year old child. So either I’ve nail failed (quite possible) or mama needs to go sit down in the back (also quite possible). Regardless, I love her. This mani though? Not so much. 

Used the What’s Up Nails B008 plate, which is full of fun fruit designs for people who nail art in more appropriate ways. 

The other new collection available is this fun little cutie pie, the Little Owlet Duo:

This duo is a collaboration between Lindsay and Jenalyn from the Two Girls One Blush blog. And no, it’s not particularly summery but OMG these are the polishes of my everyday dreams. Did someone cover me in a thousand toasty blankets and hand me a bunch of kittens?  Might as well have. 

First half of the duo is Bubbly Little Owlet:

Who needs a medium brown linear holo with copper shimmer, taupe and dark brown microflakies, white flakes and gold flakes in their life?  Pretty much everyone, so lucky you, you’re buying it.

Under the lamp, she shines:

And now a macro EXTRAVAGANZA!:

Cat hair on the pinky FOR FREE!

Last half of the duo is Gloomy Little Owlet:

So this one is a dark brown linear holo with gold flakes and white flakes. Opaque in two quick coats, so perfect for those who like to go do stuff. Like socialize with friends or be Mom of the Year. Perhaps you enjoy saving the world from war and poverty.  I, on the other hand, will just be sitting here having my husband bring me stuff on his way back from the kitchen.

DREAM SCENARIO, is what I’m saying.

Under the lamps, and OMG … ladylike composure is officially out the window:

More macros, more drool:

I don’t know what white flakies are all about, but I pretty much need them everywhere and all around me.  Plus Starbucks and a Leonardo on top.  I may never leave my house again.  No pants for everyone!

Both of these polishes are awesome two coaters, easy to apply and absolutely lovely.  They got me right in the feels, guys.  They got me real good.

The round up:

Both of these collections are available now, so who’s about to have the best day ever?  (You, to be clear.)  Engage: Shopping Hand in 3 .. 2 .. 1 ..

The Beach Life collection retails for $33 or you can get a single bottle for $9; the Little Owlet duo is $20 or a single bottle retails for $10.50.

But what is all this single bottle nonsense anyway?  A damn moot point, that’s what.  All six of these beauties, in the cart, stat.  AND THEN!  I have a coupon code.  Use SOR10 for 10% off, then congratulate yourself on your savvy ways.

Click here for shopping!

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Anyone else go to bed last night and have a last second thought of a bug crawling into your ear and digging tunnels through your brain?  No?  Well, crap.  Why do you insist on me being the ONLY weird one?  We are supposed to be sharing this burden TOGETHER.  Rule #748506 of reading this blog.

Today is not a good day for me.  I feel extremely round right now.  Could be the plate of carbs I had for lunch.  Potatoes AND rice.  And nothing else.  DUMB.  And the fact it took 10 years to take a selfie at my desk cuz people kept walking by me.  Ugh.  Even dumber-er.  Plus, if you have to text your hubby asking if candy is coming instead of it just appearing in your hand like magic, you know you’ve got some issues to deal with.

Although there are two things to be grateful for at the moment.  First, despite what I said up top, it’s Friday, so even when it’s a bad day, it’s still pretty good one.  Secondly, and most importantly, this weekend Daylight Savings Time begins.  I am beside myself with joy.  I loooooooove Daylight Savings Time.  I love daylight, period.  The more sunlight I get, the happier I am.  I’m pretty sure that’s a medical condition of some kind, in which case I should stay in pajamas from November to March.  Or be pushed around in a wheelie cart, AT MINIMUM.

I know I lose one hour of sleep due to the time change, and normally I’m not interested in that one bit; however, this is pretty much the only acceptable excuse for it.  Well, unless there’s a Leonardo involved somehow, that is.  Actually lots of things are negotiable at that point.

So while I sit here and eat this bag of M&Ms I don’t need (candy came after all!), let’s look at pretty things.  I have the most amazing display of green you’ve ever seen.  Seriously.  I have proof.  Take a look:

Gah!  Who’s having the best day ever now?

This is the Night Owl Lacquer Dreaming of Green collection, and I promise to Baby Jesus that Lindsay made these alllll for ME!  We are best friends after all, even though we didn’t exchange rings or make an announcement on Facebook or anything.  Quite possible she doesn’t even know it, but let me assure you WE ARE.  Cuz this friendship is reciprocal whether she wants it or not.

First up is New Beginnings:

I mean, do you see why green is my favorite?  DO YOU?!  It’s such a flattering shade on (I’d imagine) every skin tone.  It is the color of fresh and new and clean.  Of spring, warmth, sunshine and music.  A basketful of kitties and a room full of office supplies.  All of life’s happiness poured into a bottle.  That’s what green is, in case you didn’t know.

This one is a dark olive green packed with bright copper shimmer and copper flecks.  Under the lamps, it’s absolutely stunning.  Is it glowing?  I think yes.

You done died.  You did.

Time for macros!

Here’s some nail art I did:

So very simple, but I think it turned out pretty.  Used the Uber Chic Beauty St. Patrick’s Day plate for this Celtic knot pattern, and if I wasn’t much of an Irish lass before, I am 100% one now.  Probably on a horse galloping through the ocean, cuz that makes the most logical sense.

I like this nail art, is what I’m trying to say.

Next up is Wildflower Meadows:

What a fabulously unique shade!  My heart hurts just looking at it.  GUYS.  I don’t think I’m gonna make it to the end of this blog, cuz how can I while I keep dying every 2.5 seconds?  Quick!, roll a couch over.  Bring some smelling salts.  And a Starbucks, just in case.

Another version, just for funsies:

This little lady is a gorgeous leaf green with a bright purple shimmer and violet, light pink, dark pink and blue holo shreds. You can really see the shimmer stand out when it’s under the lamps.  See the bottle for best view cuz the glare of my lights on my nails just about ruined everything.  Ugh.  Rude.

Lolling tongues alert:

Those shreds are everything!  Lindsay nailed the wildflower theme on this one.  Looking at this polish reminds me of exactly that.

So naturally, I did this nail art:

Of lightning.  Well, of course I did.

I used the Moyra Dreamology 27 plate, which you can buy from the Cosette Nail Shop.  I actually think this is a marble pattern, but on the green base, it looks sorta like a summer storm scene to me.  Regardless, though, I really love how it turned out.

Now here’s The Grass is Greener Where You Water It:

I’m having trouble keeping my jaw attached to my face over here.  SEND HELP.

I swear, if my husband wasn’t in the room, I’d totally lick this one a little bit.  It looks so juicy and delicious!  I mean, I know it tastes like poison and it might actually kill me, but what if – WHAT IF! – it doesn’t?  What if it’s a green apple Jolly Rancher and I’ve just been wasting so much time sitting here being normal and whatnot?  What is the point in life if you can’t eat a bit of nail polish every now and then?  I ask you, WHAT IS THE POINT?

This one is a gorgeous grass green packed full of micro flakes that subtly shift from gold to green plus scattered holo for maximum drool effect.  Not even joking.  Grab your buckets!

Drooling, level EXPERT.

The happiest of nail art:

Used the B. Loves Plates Leaves of Happiness plate on this one, and I stinkin’ LOVE IT.  Are these mannequin hands?  Just about.  This mani is basically perfect.  Bah!  Someone get me my horn so I can toot it.  Kthanksbye.

Next up is Feelin’ Lucky:

Oh my goodness, will the drooling ever end?

NO.

I’m telling you, guys.  If all 5 of these don’t end up in your shopping cart, I question the state of your brain.  There’s no logical reason I can think of why you’re walking away.  Maybe you have no eyes, I dunno.  But after that, no reason at all.

This one is a bright lime green jelly with color shifting iridescent glitters.  It also glows in black light, which will come in handy for those who lead more interesting lives than me.

A jelly ocean of loveliness:

Don’t look at this nail art:

Don’t do it!  Ugh.  I’m not sure if I like this or not.  I was trying to do something different than all the nails the same, but then I kinda feel like I stamped all the things, even though I really didn’t.  What do you all think?

Used the Uber Chic Beauty St. Patrick’s Day plate again in case recreations are in order.  Just kidding.  Bahaha.

Lastly, here’s Renewal:

What a dreamboat!  This is the PERFECT spring color for me.  It’s pastel but slightly darker to make it more special (for me, cuz my skin is see-thru and unattractive), but it’s still delicate and fresh and super ladylike.  Perfect for tea with the Queen, you know, as happens from time to time.

So this one is a precious mint green with gold shimmer and gold micro flakies.  The shimmer is pretty intense – braggy if you will – but we love her despite of it.  I mean, we realllly love her.  In fact, as soon as hubby leaves the room, I’m painting all the surfaces with this one.  Not my fault, though.  There’s no other choice at this point.

Also, I need supervision to save me from me.  Clearly.

One more macro, one more ginormous drool bucket:

A reflection of my pink robe is in the label:

Oh, and there’s nail art too, just FYI.

Used the Uber Chic Beauty 14-02 plate if you’re curious.  There’s a few unruly pieces on this one, but it mostly turned out okay.  I did a subtle gradient in case you can’t really tell.  More lavender towards the cuticle; darker up top.  But man that shimmer sure is coming through loud and clear.  Braggy again.  Tsk tsk, that girl.

The round up:

First things first, you’re buying all these.  Don’t even think otherwise.  I mean it.

Secondly, this collection released one hour ago, so you’re approximately 60 minutes late.  Go go go!  It’s a polish emergency.

Here’s the deets:

Full collection is $42

Single bottles are $9, although this is a moot point (Right? Right.)

Annnnnnnd THEN!  There’s a discount code for readers of my blog.  Use SOR10 at checkout for 10% off your order, save some money, and be sure to tell Lindsay thank you for being so sweet.

Also, I like Visa gift cards, you know, if you’re not busy.

Click here for shopping!

Later, loves!