Monthly Archives: June 2017

Glam Polish: Made in Manehattan Collection 

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Current status:  on the couch after dinner, pants unbuttoned, fat hanging out.  Hubby treated me to a really nice meal after work, and all was going well.  Then the gourmet french fries came out WITH MAYONNAISE DIPPING SAUCE! and basically if someone had rolled a wheelie cart over and offered me some walking assistance, I would have damn well taken it.   Seriously, if it’s my ladylike composure that impresses you most, DO NOT EVER put potatoes-anything on the table.  Just don’t do it.  It causes divorce, if I’m not mistaken.  Ugh.

And now I’m just sitting here being the most sexy wife that ever lived.  At least I’m not drooling though.  I mean, not yet anyway.

Cuz there’s polish coming.  And it’s Glam Polish, which has a 97.84854% chance of drool buckets, at minimum.  So let’s get unattractive together shall we, cuz that’s what best friends do.  Here’s the new Made in Manehattan collection:

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Moany-y throat noises are about to come out.  Gah!  Words are proving to be var var hard right now.

The Made in Manehattan collection is a set of six cute shimmery shades inspired by the show, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.  And now we’re all about to spend some money cuz MY LITTLE PONY?!  It’s all my childhood dreams come true!  Toss in a room full of office supplies, and DREAM SCENARIO sounds about right.

Clearly, I’ve been a little weirdo for a very long time.

I’m gonna keep it somewhat short and sweet, as the five pastels are all the same in terms of formula and application.  I do have some nail art mixed in, though, so don’t scroll too fast. And then there’s a most stunning glitter topper at the end.  OMG, who’s getting pee-your-pants excited?  EVERY DADGUM ONE OF US, that’s who.

First up is Equestria Games – a light pastel lemon with subtle pink shimmer:

Close up of the goodies:

And then I added that glitter topper I was telling you about.  I can’t even stand how gorgoeus this is.  For real, I could look at it for days if there still wasn’t about 7,387 other blogs to write.

Kinda cute nail art:

Y’all know I have a love/hate relationship with my arting.  This one gets half a horn toot.  Used the new Uber Chic Beauty Unicorn Love plate if you’re curious.

Next is The Mane Attraction – a light pastel lavender with subtle pink shimmer:

Mood lighting.  Perfect for tongue lolling in secrecy.  But also makes for a pretty exquisite macro:

Still decent nail art:

A miracle might be happening!  That’s two not very hideous nail arts in a row!  Is there an award coming next?  I think YES.

Used the What’s Up Nails B002 plate for this one.

Now here’s Ponyville Confidential – a light pastel peach with subtle peach shimmer:

Some simple stamping:

I felt like this color needed something tropical.  I think it turned out okay.  I mean, it’s better than that meth owl I accidentally made, and for that, we are all grateful.  Used the new Uber Chic Beauty Vacation Mode plate here, which has some super cute images on it.  I recommend!

Here is No Second Prances – a light pastel blue with subtle pink shimmer:

Scroll past this one:


Bye bye mojo!  Meh.  Used the Uber Chic Beauty Unicorn Love plate again, and kinda failed a little bit.  Any kudos and accolades you wanna toss out for this one?  No?  Okay.  NEXXXXXXT.

This is Hearts and Hooves – a light pastel pink with subtle pink shimmer:

A slight reprieve:

The design turned out slightly more subtle than expected, but I didn’t throw any stamping plates across the room, so look who’s acting mature all of a sudden.

(Me, to be clear.  I KNOW, we’re all surprised.)

Used the What’s Up Nails B018 plate for this one.

So about that glitter topper.  Here’s The Crystal Empire – full of shifty iridescence with strong pink shimmer in a clear base:

I did three coats on naked nails, and it covers pretty good, although it looks way more awesome over a white base.  Of which I have none to show you because I am a PROFESSIONAL BLOGGER EXTRAORDINAIRE.

I don’t plan things very well, clearly.  But if you’ll scroll back up, all the macros with the topper on top – freaking MAGICAL. In one effortless coat, and well, you had me at effortless.

And then I officially ruined this blog:

Seriously, stamping with your eyes closed is never a good thing.  This is 27 levels of hideous at the minimum.  I kinda feel like just deleting it real quick, but once the pajamas go on, not much else happens after that.  In other words, a nap is coming soon.

Used the Uber Chic Beauty Garden Love plate in case recreations are in order. Bahahahahahahaha.

Ugh.

The round up:

As mentioned earlier, the formula on all the pastels are exactly the same.  I did three coats on each one, although two coats was really close to opaque for me.  Application was very smooth and easy, and the layers leveled out perfectly.  No streaks, no gloop, no cuss words, no crying.  I don’t know how Glam Polish does it every time, but finding a bad one is nigh on impossible.

The Made in Manehattan collection released earlier today, so head over to the Glam Polish store and toss a bunch of pretties in the cart.  I mean, you were just hanging around in your sweatpants doing nothing anyway.  Deets:

Single bottles are $12

Full collection is $72 but if you purchase by Tuesday, July 4 at 2pm EST, you’ll snag it for $64.80.  So get on it, boo boos!  Cuz you’re a Crazy Nail Lady, that’s why.  Click here for shopping!

Later, loves!

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Noodles Nail Polish: Summer 2017 Collection 

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Guess who was forced to leave the house against her will this weekend?  I mean, I’ve only got 7,397 blogs to write, so yeah, a weekend getaway sounds like perfect timing if you ask me.  So before y’all go thinking I live some sort of charmed life full of nail polish and couch lounging, REST ASSURED.  There was a concert and a museum plus a fancy Italian dinner, and OMG.  Blogging is so hard you guys!  SO. HARD.

So naturally I’ve been playing catch up, but even more so than usual.  Five days since my last post, and I swear to bejeebus if y’all weren’t sad and miserable, there’s a karate chop with your name on it.  Complete with a hi-yaaaa! and spitlets.  Cuz this friendship is reciprocal whether you like it or not.

But for now, some pretty things.  Natalie with Noodles Nail Polish has a new summer collection coming your way and you are gonna need to put your focus face on.  And then hand over your checkbook, just to be safe.  Take a look at what you’re buying today:

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It’s the only logical reaction to new Noodles.  18,000 bottles, in the cart they go!  Weeee!

First up is Tropical Reefs:

This one is a pinkish coral crème with a touch of scattered holo and silver foil shimmer.  Formula was the kind where you are innocently polishing your nails, minding your own business, then you accidentally paint all your surfaces cuz your brain done went somewhere.  You know the kind.  That is this.  A one coat dreamboat (or two, if you’re crazy).

Next up is Beach Daze:

This one is a white crelly with yellow, light purple, blue and watermelon matte glitters.  It’s the perfect summer day in a bottle!  Well, somebody’s perfect summer day, I’m sure.  Mine usually involves 27 blankets on the couch by the air conditioning.  Cuz I don’t sweat like a lady, that’s why.

Three thin coats here, if you’re curious.

Now here’s Caribbean Waters:

This one is a light blue crelly packed with silver holo flakies, silver and violet holo glitters and purple shimmer.  My faaaaaavorite!  It has the most amazingly fluid formula. Like, if I didn’t have so much blogging to do, I’d for sure have a Polish Mountain-type situation on my hands.  So I just did two coats instead because occasionally I am responsible.  I mean, Lazy, Level EXPERT had nothing to do with it.  About 23% sure.

Next is Under the Sea:

Here we have a blue/purple jelly base filled with pink/blue/purple shifting flakies and blue, pink and silver fine holo glitters.  Who wants to swim in a tub full of this one?  Gah!  The most beautiful ocean you ever saw.  Seen.  Have ever seen.  Ugh.  One can’t grammar at a time like this.

Jellies can be scary, but this is a luscious easy two coater.  No gloop!  And a one way ticket to the Drool Convention, at minimum.

Here’s Mermaid Kisses:

This one is a glitter topper full of green/blue/violet color shifting glitters as well as metallic and holographic turquoise and pink glitter.  She’s a little braggy, let’s be honest.  I mean, so much glitter, so much overachieve-y.  But we lub her lots anyway.

Instead of topping this over a base, I brushed three coats on my naked nails and got pretty decent full coverage.  And now I’m a fancy lady-slash-trophy wife EXTRAORDINAIRE!

Then I put some pants on:

GUYS.  I went outside for you.  Seriously, I am a DADGUM PROFESSIONAL.  And basically your favorite best friend.

Lastly, here’s Heart of the Ocean:

This one is a berry holographic with purple microshimmer.  Nice and simple, but OMG, the formula is divine.  I’d lick it if the judgy eyes weren’t lurking.  Purple lovers!  Get in here so I’m not the only crazy one in this blog.  Seriously, cuz hubby is watching and I feel a noodle leg epidemic coming on.

I did one coat and almost walked away, but then the hives kicked in.  Two coats for safety!  But other, more normal people would prolly be just fine with one.  Oh, OCD, my evil friend.

The round up:

This collection released just today, so there’s no excuse not to spend some money.  Here’s some deets:

Single bottles are $9 each with the exception of Caribbean Waters and Heart of the Ocean, which retail for $9.50.  So click here, throw polish in your cart all willy nilly, then sit back and revel in your good decisioning.  And then buy me a Starbucks cuz you’re in a shopping mood.

Finally, some linky loos:

Shop http://noodlesnailpolish.com

Instagram http://www.instagram.com/noodlesnailpolish 

Facebook http://www.facebook.com/noodlesnailpolish

Back tomorrow with more fun stuff.  Also, there’s a swatch party fiesta happening soon, so be sure to stick around.  The suspense!

Later, loves!

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MDJ Creations: A Time & A Season and Fun in the Sun Collections (plus two bonuses!)

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Okay.  It’s time to get serious.  MDJ Creations has a huge release of new colors and restocks coming your way today, and if someone can find a way to stop time real fast, I’ll write a proper blog for you.  Anyone? … Anyone?  Blah.  Looks like Science wins again.  Booooo.

Sorry guys.  Why hubby won’t let me stay home and paint nails for a living defies allllll the comprehensions.  I mean, for a Trophy Wife, the amount of effort being made over here is quite surprising to say the least.  MORE ROBE, is what I mean.  And Starbucks, if y’all not busy.

So until that little dream scenario kicks in, I suppose we’ll just sit here on my lunch break and do some writing stuff instead of the napping stuff I’d rather do.  Best blogger ever then?  I say YES.

Okay, no more chatty; I’m basically wasting time at this point.  Gonna keep this as short and sweet as possible so I can get you to the shop link at the bottom BEFORE THE ENTIRE STORE SELLS OUT. Are you panicked?  Well, you should be. Lesss go! 

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Quick!  Lick the screen while no one’s looking.  Now act natural.

Good job.

If you belong to the MDJ Peeps group on Facebook, you’ll know the new A Time & A Season collection is the result of some inspiration photos based on the four seasons.  We all voted on our favorites, and then Melissa gave them life. They turned out BEAUTIFUL!  Here’s proof:

Renew, the inspiration for Spring:

This one has a soft sheer pink jelly base with purple to blue iridescent flakies, holographic microglitter and iridescent microglitter.  Commence the jaw dropping!

Sustain, the inspiration for Summer:

This one has a rosy pink sheer jelly base with blue, purple and yellow holographic microglitters and iridescent flakies.  The color pulled a bit purple on me, especially under the lamps. But either way, though, we lub it lots!

Transform, the inspiration for Autumn:

This one has a dusty blue sheer jelly base with copper, blue and orange holographic microglitters and green iridescent flakies.  It’s my faaaaaavorite!  An ocean of lovely. A dadgum flakie EXTRAVAGANZA!

Reflect, the inspiration for Winter:

This one has a nude sheer jelly base with blue and golden yellow holographic microglitters and blue to green iridescent flakies.  Normally I’m not one for neutral-type shades like this. But throw a bunch of iridescence in it, and it’s a Grabby Fingers epidemic like nobody’s business. 

Each one of these polishes took 3 thin coats for opacity, although the nude one still showed a bit of nail line.  However, it’s the sheer quality that sets off all the goodies, and for THAT!, Melissa gets a horn toot. And maybe some jazz hands cuz it’s Friday.

Aside from all that, they also glow in the dark which I was completely unaware of until I went to bed after swatching. Scared the crap out of me, like whose are those?!?! Basically, five tiny serial killers come to get me, that’s who. 

The other new collection is this fantastical explosion of glitter called Fun in the Sun.  There are four neon glitter toppers and two pretty crellies, absolutely PERFECT for summer.  Want, want and NEED. That’s your new motto.

Well, if that doesn’t do you in, I’m pretty sure you’re a robot.  Glitter glitter everywhere, and in the cart they go!

Let’s do the two crellies first.  Here is Let the Games Begin:

I don’t have official descriptions on these, so unfortunately we’re gonna make something up and hope nothing stupid comes out. I’d say it’s a pink … yes, pink, very good … and some neon pink, orange and yellow glitter with a lovely dash of holo.

Or thereabouts. 

Formula on this one was thicker and the glitter payout was like JACKPOT PARTY!, but it managed just fine with two regular coats.

Now here’s Drinks With Umbrellas:

I’d say this one is an orchid pink-y purple with bright neon glitters in sky blue and lilac and lime and whatnot. Holo too.

OMG, I’m sooooo good at this you guys!

Blah. 

Formula on this one was thinner and easier to apply. Still a good glitter load. It’s my favorite of the two. 

As for the four toppers, I applied them all over a black base so you can properly see all the shimmers and glitters and holos you’re getting, although they would look spectacular over a coordinating color.  Of which I have none to show you.  Cuz someone is a PROFESSIONAL, that’s why. Ugh. 

First up is Under Water:

Again, no official descriptions but I see aqua shimmer and that’s all you need to know, really. Also: you’re buying it. 

Next up is Water Balloons:

This one has the least amount of glitter payout, although I quite like how they’re all spread out like that. No sense in getting elbow jabby, I always say. 

Now here’s Pool Party:

Kinda the same as Water Balloons but with slightly more glitter and in a peachy orange scheme.

Ummmm, what else? Seriously, winging this on my own is a terribly horrible idea. SEND HELP. And Leonardo, just in case. 

Lastly, here’s On Vacation:

A cooler toned palette of glitter for this one. Similar to Water Balloons but no orange or yellow. This would look amazing over a pastel blue or purple mani. Or even a green one!  You know, for extra drool-y scenarios. 

Each one of these was one layer over the base, and it looks pretty good. However,  I did do a tiny bit of manual glitter placement cuz OCD is the devil. 

And now for the bonuses!  Melissa has two single shades coming out as well – one is a new limited edition – or POLISH EMERGENCY, clearly – and the other is a restock.  So because time is dire, let’s do the limited edition first.  Here’s Totally Free:

A sheer white crelly here, but loaded with tons of pretty shimmer and fresh, crisp springy glitters. Blue, purple, lime green, peach. Squares and bars and hexes.  That’s a lot of goodies! How this one doesn’t cost like a billion dollars is beyond me. 

I did three thin coats and it was still kinda sheer, but not so much where I felt I needed to keep adding layers. I mean, you don’t get to Lazy, Level EXPERT by going the extra mile. 

And now for the restock of Hot Mama:

I don’t know if this is just meant to be a topper or not, but I went ham with three coats on naked nails and got the most sparkliest mani of all time!

This one has a clear base with tons of silver goodness and pink and magenta holographic glitters, some blue stuff, and tiny bars. Probably magic and voodoo too, but who’s to say for sure? I mean, I just described this as having “blue stuff” in it, and basically that’s not even a thing.

Did this post just spiral all to hell?  I’m about 23% sure of it. 

The round up:

DONE! You just got 18 years of blog post wrapped up in one tiny lunch hour. Is there an award coming, or … ?  Cuz the carpal tunnel situation is legit no joke. 

Okay gang, get your shopping hands ready.  Everything is live in 10 minutes (or June 23 at 5pm CST if you wanna get specific.)  Don’t miss out!  Seriously. I MEAN IT. 

Click here for shopping!

Later, loves!

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BLUSH Lacquers + Crystal’s Charity Lacquers: Women’s Foundation Duo 

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Yesterday was the first day of summer, the longest day of the year.  Could be a cause for celebration, as I know there’s some girl out there shining up the Uggs and marking days off til she can pumpkin all the things.  NOT THIS LADY.  The beginning of summer means days will continually get one minute shorter until suddenly we are in the bowels of winter, and OMG, the hives are already lurking.

Ugh. Why do I torture myself by looking so far ahead?  I mean, it’s not like every day until then isn’t going to be at least 90-degrees, and I’m bound to complain mercilessly about each one of them anyway.  Cuz y’all know I don’t sweat like a lady, and regardless how terrible the word moist is, there’s really no other way to describe the situation.  Ew.

HOWEVER, I feel like some effort today.  Did y’all just scroll to the top to see what blog you were reading? I know, me too.  But it’s hard to be grumpy when good things are happening.  Cuz Crystal’s Charity Lacquers is back again and it’s time to hoard some polish!  BOOM.

Each month or so, Crystal’s Charity Lacquers chooses a charity and teams up with indie brands to create exclusive polishes to sell and help raise funds for the cause. This round, she has chosen Victoria from BLUSH Lacquers and Heather from Heather’s Hues to release some pretties to benefit the Women’s Foundation.

So get off your no-buys, ladies! A TOTAL LEGIT JUSTIFICATION-type scenario just fell into your lap like no big deal.  Lesssss go!

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Our charity this month is the Women’s Foundation. The Women’s Foundation uses funds that are raised to address areas of concern for women: stopping violence against women, ending poverty, empowering women and ending human trafficking. 

The Women’s Foundation uses money raised to help fund emergency shelters and programs to help survivors of abuse and sex trafficking rebuild their lives. They fund life-changing programs designed especially for women to help women move out of poverty. Through these unique programs, women can learn a skilled trade, start a small business or gain work experience.

The Women’s Foundation also supports girls confidence by funding dynamic programs that engage the body, mind and spirit. They offer mentorship programs and also have programs that target at-risk girls, allowing them to explore science and technology, play sports, learn critical thinking or take on leadership roles, all in a supportive all-girl environment. These are all just a brief example of all the wonderful work this charity does. The Women’s Foundation’s mission is to help women and girls move out of violence, out of poverty and into confidence.

— Crystal Weber, Crystal’s Charity Lacquers

Well, when you put it that way … 2,477 bottles, stat.  I can’t think of a better way to spend some money today.  Maybe slightly more rationally, but then again, no one does Crazy Nail Lady quite like you.

As previously mentioned, there are two indie brands helping out this round. I only have swatches of the BLUSH Lacquers offering, but there is a link down below to another blog where you can view the swatches for Heather’s Hues.  Seriously, is there an award coming?  Cuz someone is being awfully overachieve-y today.

(Me, to be clear. )

First up is #girlpowered:

This one is a soft baby pink with peach tones and golden shimmer.  It’s such a pretty, delicate shade.  The gold glowing through gives me a case of the Grabby Fingers, I swear it.  Three coats of YUM, plus easy to apply formula, plus the most amazing brush applicator on the DADGUM PLANET!  In other words, you’re buying this.

Another angle, cuz NERD:

And now, a macro EXTRAVAGANZA!

Welp, we are officially pass-out-y.  Bring on the smelling salts!  And Leonardo, just in case.

The other half of the duo is Hear Me Roar:

This one is a magenta linear holographic with pink holo glitters, and OMG, the sparkle, the bling, the ladylike composure just OUT THE FREAKING WINDOW.  I got two smooth coats out of this one, although I could’ve done a billion cuz polishes like this make me completely not normal.  But in a very good way.  Polish Mountain, here we come!  One coat .. two coats .. th re e coa. Ts … blah, never mind.  I’ve already done two efforts today; at this point, pajamas is all that’s left.

Oh, but how about one more angle?  You know, for extra convincing.

Lastly, the macros.  Otherwise known as the prelude to the Noodle Leg Epidemic that is happening next:

Okay, fiiiiiine.  Some holo action first:

And now we’re all just unattractive puddles of goo.  Bye bye checkbook!

The round up:

In addition to this lovely duo, Heather’s Hues has a one too!  First, there’s Queen of the Castle – a soft lavender with gold shimmer, gold holo and microflakies. Then there’s BElieve in YOUrself, a light teal metallic holo with pink/violet duochrome shinmer.  I’m pretty sure you want these too, but for the lack of proof via 18,000 Excel spreadsheets and a science experiment, go check out Lacquered Mama’s review and see for yourself.  Click here!

Pre-sale for these starts Saturday, June 24 and will run until Sunday, July 9.  That’s like two weeks of panic, so be sure to set alarms so you don’t miss out.  Cuz while the polish is bueno to like the trillionth degree, it’s the charity that makes it all worthwhile.  Get on it, boo boos!

Cost for the BLUSH Lacquers polishes will be $11.75 for #girlpowered and $12.25 for Hear Me Roar. At the time of this writing, I do not have the cost for the Heather’s Hues duo, but I will update once I get it.  Polishes will be available at each respective makers’ site, and I will leave links below for you cuz I have a random burst of energy today and might as well burn a few calories to aid the skinny.

BLUSH Lacquers – click here

Heather’s Hues – click here

That’s officially three efforts for the day in case you don’t math well.  Seriously, are we in the right blog?  I’m so var var confused.

A portion of the proceeds will be donated to the Women’s Foundation through the CanadianWomen.org website.  Be sure to give it a read.  Then while you’re in a clicking mood, go ahead and join the Crystal’s Charity Lacquers Facebook group so you can get inside scoop on future donations, brand collaborations, and polish sneak peeks. DO IT. I mean it. Click here.

Okay, gang, I’m off to do some quick polishing that will most likely result in a four hour swatch fest and then subsequent napping at my desk tomorrow.  Happy Almost Friday!

Later, loves!

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Nail Hoot: Birthstone Trio – April May June

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Oh, the never ending game of catch up, how you elude me. You’d think by now I’d finally be checking off that last item on the list, but for whatever reason, some 9 year old girl comes on tv singing the Titanic theme song and suddenly NOTHING ELSE FREAKING MATTERS.  What is blogging?  What is swatching?  What is DADGUM RESPONSIBILITY?  All the things I should be doing instead of the crying like a baby that I’m actually doing.  Ugh.  Where is Leonardo when you need him?  (Oh, but seriously, WHERE IS HE?)

Trying to make up for it tonight by being ultra focused.  Came home from work, locked myself in the bedroom, and sat down to write.  Then my phone notifications lit up, my Popcorn Snowballs are ready!, and so it’s off to the fake Bakery for nigh on eternity.  For real, someone just need to take my phone away.  Except don’t, cuz I will cut you.

Time for polish!  Brandie with Nail Hoot reached out to me asking if I’d like to review her most recent addition to the birthstone collection.  Ummm, is this Silly Question Day?  Of course I would.  BRING IT.  Cuz you don’t get to Crazy Nail Lady by just lounging on couches.

Or maybe you do.  Seriously, I don’t even know.

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Brandie has been working on a collection of birthstone-inspired polishes, and with the release of these three, the year is officially complete.  Who’s collecting these or planning to collect?  I love buying sets of things, but I’m not very good at finishing it out.  I once tried to collect TV Guides back in like 1985, but only ended up with about 4 of them in an empty dresser drawer.  Although perhaps it was the wrong kind of collecting, cuz I do have about 3,497 bottles of nail polish threatening to fall through the floor of my house at any moment. Soooo…

First up for April, this is Diamond:

This beauty has a linear holographic base with a delicate clear pink diamond look and filled with clear scattered holo for added dazzle.  It’s sparkly and blingy and basically your standard everyday driving hazard.  Distracting, but in the best way possible.

Macro time!

GAH!  I just love how those holos catch the light.  You see what I mean by distracting?  You forgot you were reading this blog, didn’t you?  Cuz I forgot I was even writing it.

Next up for May, this is Emerald:

This one is a stunning, rich green linear holographic, and honestly, do I have to even say it?  When is the last time a green was thrown in here where I didn’t trip all over myself trying to get to it first?  Like, anyone in the mood to get drool-y and suuuuuper unattractive?  Me! Me! Me!, almost 97.58676% of the time.  That is not a typo.  Where there is green, there is me reattaching my jaw to my face 18,000 times.

Under the lamps, for maximum holo effect:

Do I hear angels?  I’m pretty sure there’s angels.

Now grab the smelling salts!  In case of accidental pass-out-y, it’s good to be prepared.

Oh, don’t mind me.  Just smiling to myself with my eyes closed like an idiot.  Sigh.

Lastly for June, this is Pearl:

This one has a delicate white base filled with shimmer and small golden flakies, topped with a pearlescent sheen and pinch of clear scattered holo. I just love whites all dressed up and fancy like this.  Capturing all the goodies was hard, though, cuz my camera is lame and I give up easy.  Bah!  Goals are for other people, let’s just say. 

More macros cuz we haven’t drooled enough today:

Well, technically I have, but I’m not normal. If you see me and somehow I’m not in the midst of a thousand drool bucket extravaganza-type scenario, just assume I’ve been kidnapped cuz that seems more likely.

I reallllllllllly love nail polish, is what I’m saying.

The round up:

And now good news: these polishes are available now, so get to clickin’ y’all!  You were just hanging around in your sweatpants doing nothing anything.

Trio retails for $24.99, and if you make a purchase by midnight on Sunday, June 25 you get a free cuticle oil pen.  Whyyyyyyyy, we LOVE free things!  Oh yes we do.

You can, however, get these as single bottles.  Diamond and Emerald are $9.35 and Pearl is $7.49.  But no cuticle pen, so this point is moot.  RIGHT? Right.  All three, in the cart they go!

Click here for shopping!  Then stay tuned for more pretties cuz this blog train is NEVER stopping.  Assuming this fake bakery situation gets under control, that is.  In other words:  WE’LL SEE.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Night Owl Lacquer: Beach Life Collection + Little Owlet Duo

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Sure wish hubby would go be stupid so I’ll have something to write about in this blog soon.  I mean, it’s been at least two years since he tripped over the door and fell in the house, so I’m pretty sure we’re due for a good one.  But nothing that involves the hands, though, cuz I’ll be needing sandwiches at some point.

So maybe he’ll wake up to a face full of cat butthole.  Or perhaps a bird will poop on his eye while he’s minding his own business, and then spend the next 37 years self-diagnosing himself on the internet. Cuz that happened to me, and I’m a trillion percent certain it’s wayyyy funnier when I’m not involved. 

Until then, however, this blog may have an extraordinary amount of BLANK SCREEN happening, which I assume makes for a very boring story. Unless you have no eyes. I dunno. 

Let’s talk polish!  I received two new collections from Lindsay with Night Owl Lacquer – a summery quad and a collaboration duo – and I’m super excited to show you.  Are you ready for a whoooooooole lotta pretty? Well then lessss go!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

THIS.  Lordt. We’re already drool-y. 

Okay, so here is the Beach Life Collection, four of the prettiest neon holographic flakie glittery goodnesses that ever lived.  GUYS. They’re GLORIOUS!  And you want them, oh yes you do. 

First up is Life is Good Today:

This one has a neon orange base with gold galaxy holo microglitter, red/gold microflakies and different sized lime/gold and orange/green iridescent color shifting glitters.

Also possibly Cheeto cheese, and in which case, WE LUB IT MORE. 

My eyes my eyes!  All that in two magical coats.

Macro, a prelude to the 27 bottles you’re buying:

Then I did some nail art:

And I don’t hate it! It’s not gonna win a prize or anything, but we’ll take this brief moment of mojo while we can.  Also, used the new Uber Chic Beauty 18-02 plate for this one.

Next up is Where the Ocean Meets the Sky:

This one has a bright blue base with iridescent sparks, neon blue microflakies and silver holo shreds. I just love it!  The color is divine.  For real, I’m roughly 2.5 seconds away from sticking my fingers in people’s faces. Although surprisingly, strangers don’t wanna look at mah nails! quite like you’d expect.  Seriously though, they should LOOK AT THEM.  I mean it.

If you’re thinking HAND MODEL!, you are correct.

An insane display of flakie:

You done died. You did. 

Some mediocre nail art:

Meh.  I don’t dislike it, but I sadly covered up too much of the blue. In my dreams, though, this looks freaking FABULOUS.  Used the Lina Feeling Shapely 09 plate if you’re curious.  (Are you though? Prolly not this time.) 

Now here’s Toes in the Sand:

This one has a light sandy nude base packed full of gold shift, gold microflakies and clear galaxy holo microglitter. It’s such a precious, dainty little shade. Practically begs for a tiny cappuccino. Pinkies up, y’all!  Cuz we are a bunch of classy ladies whether we like it or not. 

Now, imagine this polish on someone whose fingers are slightly less sausage-y …

I know, right?! In the basket she goes!

That shimmer! So swoon-y. 

Scroll past this one:

Cuz stamping with your eyes closed is never a good thing. Clearly. Ugh.  Used the Moyra Dreamology 27 plate in case recreations are in order. Bahahahahaha!

Blah. 

Lastly, here’s Cold Drink in My Hand:

FOCUS. Cuz GREEN is happening.  Glorious, beautiful, mind altering green.  There’s probably a formula thing and a coats thing and maybe even other things, but at this point it’s all moot. As soon as I get control of my brain, then we’ll see. 

This one has a neon green base with bright green sparks and holo flakies, and if it ends up on all the surfaces, well that’s the most logical next step. 

Brace yourself for a noodle legs epidemic:

BIG. PUDDLE. OF GOO. Dang. 

Here’s a thing I did:

Please tell me you know this is a kiwi. Cuz I showed this to my mother and she yells FIREWORKS! like an excited 4 year old child. So either I’ve nail failed (quite possible) or mama needs to go sit down in the back (also quite possible). Regardless, I love her. This mani though? Not so much. 

Used the What’s Up Nails B008 plate, which is full of fun fruit designs for people who nail art in more appropriate ways. 

The other new collection available is this fun little cutie pie, the Little Owlet Duo:

This duo is a collaboration between Lindsay and Jenalyn from the Two Girls One Blush blog. And no, it’s not particularly summery but OMG these are the polishes of my everyday dreams. Did someone cover me in a thousand toasty blankets and hand me a bunch of kittens?  Might as well have. 

First half of the duo is Bubbly Little Owlet:

Who needs a medium brown linear holo with copper shimmer, taupe and dark brown microflakies, white flakes and gold flakes in their life?  Pretty much everyone, so lucky you, you’re buying it.

Under the lamp, she shines:

And now a macro EXTRAVAGANZA!:

Cat hair on the pinky FOR FREE!

Last half of the duo is Gloomy Little Owlet:

So this one is a dark brown linear holo with gold flakes and white flakes. Opaque in two quick coats, so perfect for those who like to go do stuff. Like socialize with friends or be Mom of the Year. Perhaps you enjoy saving the world from war and poverty.  I, on the other hand, will just be sitting here having my husband bring me stuff on his way back from the kitchen.

DREAM SCENARIO, is what I’m saying.

Under the lamps, and OMG … ladylike composure is officially out the window:

More macros, more drool:

I don’t know what white flakies are all about, but I pretty much need them everywhere and all around me.  Plus Starbucks and a Leonardo on top.  I may never leave my house again.  No pants for everyone!

Both of these polishes are awesome two coaters, easy to apply and absolutely lovely.  They got me right in the feels, guys.  They got me real good.

The round up:

Both of these collections are available now, so who’s about to have the best day ever?  (You, to be clear.)  Engage: Shopping Hand in 3 .. 2 .. 1 ..

The Beach Life collection retails for $33 or you can get a single bottle for $9; the Little Owlet duo is $20 or a single bottle retails for $10.50.

But what is all this single bottle nonsense anyway?  A damn moot point, that’s what.  All six of these beauties, in the cart, stat.  AND THEN!  I have a coupon code.  Use SOR10 for 10% off, then congratulate yourself on your savvy ways.

Click here for shopping!

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Different Dimension: Americana Collection 

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I’m not even gonna pretend life goes on happily when hubby has to work all weekend.  Cuz when he’s home, snacks just make their way out of the kitchen like magic, but now I’ve been sitting here putting pants on against my will for the past 9 hours cuz food is officially taking its DAMN SWEET TIME.  Ugh.  What is the point of a Sunday if I’m forced to do things in an anti-couch lounging kind of way?  I ask you, WHAT IS THE POINT?

I tried to salvage the day somehow, but he’d left me only an inch of Cheetos in the bottom of a bag and the manual to the Keurig might as well have been written in Spanish.  I thought maybe I should starve to death out of protest, but the novelty of that idea lasted roughly 2.5 seconds.  I’m not good at goals, let’s just say.  And the lure of a Starbucks is legit no joke.

In other words, someone spent an extraordinary amount of time being responsible today, so if an award is coming – well, that sounds about right.

Oh, but the polish!  Missi with Different Dimension sent me some pretties to share with you today, and HOLO EXTRAVAGANZA! doesn’t even begin to describe this scenario.  Here is the Americana Collection: 

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Gah!  Y’all got your smelling salts handy?  Cuz it’s about to get super pass-out-y in here, I just know it.

First up is One Flag, One Land:

This one is a linear red holographic with added holographic microglitters and larger linear holographic pigment.  I swear, this red is CRAZY good.  Practically a one-coater, and perfect for parties.  So blingy and flashy and fun.  Date night nails!  Or napping nails, you know, if you’re me.

18,000 tickets to the Drool Convention, at minimum.  

And then I did actual cute nail art:

Right?!  Nothing innovative here, but I’ll take a horn toot if y’all not busy. 

Used the Lina Feeling Shapely 01 plate for the stripes and the 09 plate for the stars in case you’re curious.  (You are this time.)

Next up is One Heart, One Hand:

This one is a linear chantilly lace white/dove grey holographic with added color shifting shimmers, larger linear holographic pigment and holographic microglitters.  And for some reason, this looks good on me.  Usually light colors don’t play well with my pale skin, but I’m freaking looooving this!  No sad sausages!  Weeeee!

I did three coats of this one even though on most people it will probably only take two.  Most likely, I did it wrong cuz it was 2 a.m. on a work night and half my brain was sleeping.

Lolling tongue alert!

And then this happened:

EFFORT.  Someone got a second wind, clearly.

Used the Bundle Monster BM-XL201 plate and stamped over this awesome dry brush design.  Then sat back and reveled in this brief moment of mojo.

Lastly, here’s One Nation Evermore:

This one is a linear cobalt blue holographic with added holographic microglitters, and OMG, my eyes my eyes!  Is this not the most beautiful sparkly blue of all time ever?  Ugh.  Don’t mind me.  I’ll just be over here, drooling in a thousand buckets.  Cuz ladylike composure is officially OUT THE WINDOW.

An ocean of lovely:

Final design:

This time around, I used striping tape and blocked off spots for color blocking.  It was looking pretty good, but then the SILVER STAR STICKER MYSTERY HOUR happened, and … blah.  Sometimes when I nail art, my brain goes away somewhere.  

BONUS TIME!  Included in this bundle is a limited edition cuticle oil called Rockets Red Glare:

Smells just like those rocket bomb popsicles you get from the ice cream truck, most specifically the cherry part of it.  YUM!  But it is NOT FOOD.  I checked, so you don’t have to.  Surpringly tastes less like popsicles than expected.

The round up:

The Americana Collection just released today so you’re all set to go!  It’s extremely limited stock and won’t be restocked so we are in the midst of a dadgum POLISH EMERGENCY! in case you need to know.  Plus, you get free shipping if you order Monday or Tuesday, and I’m not sure why 27 bottles isn’t already sitting in your cart at this point.  Get on it, boo boos!  You do not want to miss out.

Cost for this set plus the cuticle oil is $30.  It’s not available as separate pieces but as a bundle only, which works just fine.  Cuz no one does Crazy Nail Lady quite like you.

Click here for shopping!

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •