Outdoorsy things have always hated me.  I was never the kid who got called on for sports.  Considering how often I played dress up with imaginary babies out on the playground, I’m sure they all figured a kickball rolling towards me at .027 miles per hour just wouldn’t be my thing.  I mean, you miss the ball only ONE SINGLE SOLITARY TIME, and suddenly a reputation for books and spelling bees is just handed to you – with a bow, signed card and cherry on top.

So naturally, that athletic inclination followed me everywhere.  I’d ride my bicycle to the post office to buy stamps for my nerdy pen pal obsession, only to get chased by the scary neighbor girls up the street.  I suppose my smoking candy cigarettes while steering one-handed just wasn’t the tough persona I expected it to be.

But I figured out a way, guys.  I FIGURED OUT A WAY.  Twelve years old.  Church camp, away from the comforts of home and the wise teachings of a mother whose only job at that point was to remind you how important it is to track your period on a DADGUM CALENDAR lest you have a surprise incident over a 100 miles away from a maxi pad.  Cuz in one fail swoop, it’s Unfortunate Star of the Tampon Mystery Hour, and there I am in the bathroom stall with a compact mirror and a thousand prayers for the tiny Baby Jesus.

My point is, if you’d like to be excused from beach volleyball for the rest of your life, accidentally leaving the cardboard applicator inside of your body is a pretty effective way. 

TMI?  Not in this blog!

I have a most glorious collection of summery crèmes to show you today.  Jill at Glisten & Glow is at it again with the Summer Camp Daze collection, and I don’t know what you have planned for the weekend, but if you’re tossing all five of these beauties in the cart, you may continue to read this blog.  Cuz we’s best friends now whether you like it or not.

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

OMG, I don’t even know which one to lick first!  Is Society watching, cuz it’s very hard to sit here and be normal right now.  Five fingers full of Jolly Rancher goodness, I’m almost certain.  Possibly slightly more poison-y, although who’s to know for sure?  Cuz the judgy eyes, THEY. ARE. EVERYWHERE.

Let’s do the rundown of colors, then I’ll meet you at the bottom.  Here we go!

First up is S’mores & Sing-alongs, an iris purple creme:

And then a shot under the lamps for maximum glossy effect:

Lastly, some nail art that I actually like:

Clearly, I was in a mood.  A bit of a burst of energy happened, and I managed a halfway decent dry brush before the nap kicked in.  I used two polishes in this collection plus Jill’s white creme, Wedding Gown White, then stamped over the top with the new What’s Up Nails B018 plate.  I think it turned out nice!  Let’s revel in this brief moment of mojo, shall we?

Next up is Counselors & Crushes, a bright magenta creme:

Under the lamps:

More okay nail art:

Pretty simple stamping attempt, and it’s not even hideous!  I’m not sure what is happening right now, but if a horn toot is next, no one’s surprised.

Used the same What’s Up Nails B018 plate plus Jill’s black creme, Little Black Dress, you know, in case recreations are in order. (They are.)

Now here’s Bunks & Bug Juice, a medium cobalt creme:

Annnnnnnnd, we’re drooling.  There’s no way you’re leaving this blog without a cart full of this one.  It’s the best of the bunch, a beautiful blue dreamboat.  I can’t even be clever right now cuz words have straight up left me.  The moan-y throat noises, though, are a dire thing.  Uhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnn.

See?  Gah!

Don’t look at this one:

I knew it was too good to be true.  Mojo had one foot out the door the whole time!  Blah.  Used What’s Up Nails B018 plate one more time, and then went off and cried for the next 37 years.  Hello, Nail Fail, my old friend.

On the bright side, all these cremes stamp beautifully.  Weeeee!

Here’s Campfires & Color Wars, a watermelon meets coral creme:

Under the lamps:

The nail art:

I’m good with this one.  I like the image and the two colors together.  I mean, no awards are coming although I’ll take a Starbucks if y’all not busy.

Used the What’s Up Nails B002 plate for this one.  It has lots of cool watermarble-y type scenes on it, so for those who think watermarbling is rocket science with neurosurgery and 27,000 spreadsheets on top, then you might need this plate.

Lastly, here’s Talent Shows  & Tie-Dye, a medium teal creme:

Under the lamps:

Final nail art:

A good old fashioned random patterned dotticure, which I methodically placed on my nail for the next 19 years.  I’m not good at random, let’s just say.  Although the attempt at effort was downright superhuman.

The round up:

Every single one of these polishes was virtually opaque in one coat.  I did two just to make sure everything was smooth and perfect, but then again, I can’t figure out a tampon so what the hell do I know, really?  The formula was consistent across the board, though – ultra creamy and smooth like butter.  I can’t think of anything more perfect.  Well, unless it comes with a side of Leonardo, that is. 

The Summer Camp Daze collection releases on Sunday, June 18 at 9pm EST, and you do NOT wanna miss out!  Setting 17 alarms is the most logical next step.  And then stalking your mail man like a proper loon.

Click here for shopping! 

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •