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Reason #237 why this diet thing is lame: rice cakes taste NOTHING like Cheetos. Ugh. I’m trying so hard to be good, but this potato chip-free HELL we’re in is about to reach a breaking point. Cuz one cannot live on food that tastes like a wad of chewed up paper – coated in zesty ranch flavoring, but still.
So excuse me while I go cry into a bowl of baby carrots (again). It is a sad state of affairs for ME.
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The sun has officially gone away, so how anything is getting done today we’ll NEVER freaking know. Ugh.
Anyone else not interested in normal human function when it’s dark and dreary outside? Like, the walking-on-two-feet thing or the putting of food into your own mouth with your own hands kinda deal? Seriously, I’m about *thisclose* to just wheeling myself around in my office chair cuz being upright is a commitment I’m just not ready to make today.
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OMG, are we done yet? NO. Welcome to your Bonus Blog! Y’all better be loving this cuz who carpal tunnels for no dadgum good reason? NOT THIS LADY!
Making it short and sweet once again cuz I’m really trying to keep the momentum going. I mean, I finished some swatching about three hours ago and then spent the next eternity changing the wallpaper in my fake bakery, sooooo .. things are going quite well on the blogging front, clearly. How I’m not finished with all 7,397 drafts in the queue is beyond allll the comprehensions.
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The blogging frenzy continues! Real quickie this afternoon cuz I’ve already fallen asleep like 18 times since typing this sentence. One of these days, I’ll sleep like a normal person, I swear it.
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Bonus Blog! I know we were just in here, but I’ve got ten Polish Pickups to do this month, which is the most I’ve ever had to do at one time. And considering how well I’ve handled things in the past (as in, not very, AT ALL) I’m making a real, legit attempt this time. Cuz who wants to read about the Polish Pickup before all the polish goes away forever? It’s the most ideal scenario, I’m sure of it. PROFESSIONAL BLOGGER EXTRAORDINAIRE? I say YES.
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Black Friday = DONE. All the swatching! All the blogging! All the DADGUM EFFORTING! Seriously, the sweat bead mustache’s been at an all-time high. Last night I did two loads of laundry and then folded all of it STRAIGHT OUT OF THE DRYER, sooo… now we’re all basically confused about whose blog this is, cuz it’s certainly not mine. A facsimile of mine, maybe. I mean, my 18-month-old laundry pile begat other laundry piles and pretty much my closet and bedroom floor have became interchangeable. So again, we’re in the wrong blog, SURELY.
GUYS. I did it. All the Black Friday posts, blogged and DONE. I mean, I didn’t do it on time or anything, but that is beside the point. Cuz it’s Small Business Saturday, which is basically Black Friday but with less elbow jabs to the face, soooo … if you feel like sending bonus points, AS ALWAYS, I’ll take a thousand.
Lots of swatching happening today, plus hubby wants to go buy a Christmas tree. We had one last year, but it wouldn’t fit back in the box after we took it down and then some sort of blind rage-type scenario happened. Have you ever punched a Christmas tree? I mean, if you want to feel about 27 levels of not-very-classy, go punch a Christmas tree. It’s the most ridiculous thing you’ll ever do.
So before we head out to go do stuff (and wear pants against my will), let’s talk polish! Natalie with Noodles Nail Polish sent me a whooooole lotta pretty to share with you today. And what do we do when new Noodles are happening?
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We pass the hell on out now, that’s what. Big puddle of goo? THAT’S YOU.
This is the Holiday 2017 Collection and they’re all so stinkin’ lovely, it hurts to look. Excuse me while I sit here and cry over nail polish, cuz nothing says NOT NORMAL than getting emotional over bottles full of holo and glitter. Unless you’ve, perhaps, punched a Christmas tree or something.
I’m not crazy, you’re crazy.
Here’s your quick rundown of colors. Drool! Swoon! Enjoy! REPEAT. You’re about to have a most unattractive day in case you didn’t know.
WRAPPED UP
DESCRIPTION: A soft pinkish-red jelly packed with gold, copper and pink flakies and fine gold glitter
OPACITY: Three coats plus glossy top coat
JOLLY DAYS
DESCRIPTION: A deep berry creme with silver and red flakies, fine silver holographic glitter and red shimmer
OPACITY: Two coats plus glossy top coat
CHRISTMAS CHEER
DESCRIPTION: A green holographic with silver flakies and green shimmer
OPACITY: Two coats, but I did three cuz GREEEEEEN!
DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW
DESCRIPTION: A clear based snowflake glitter topper with white, gold, metallic and gold holographic glitters
OPACITY: One coat swiped over a black base; excellent glitter payoff and fun, fun, fun
RESTING GRINCH FACE
DESCRIPTION: A white crelly with neon green glitters, red and green metallic glitters, mini red hearts and fine silver holographic glitter
OPACITY: Two coats, although some may prefer three; excellent self-leveling, non-streaky white crelly formula (hooray!)
SEEING IS BELIEVING
DESCRIPTION: A full coverage silver flakie and silver holographic glitter polish with a green and red glitter mix
OPACITY: Two coats was good, but I did three due to invisible naked spots only I could see; being me is the BEST FUN EVER
BAH HUM BUG
DESCRIPTION: A holographic polish with purple shimmer and soft blue to violet shift
OPACITY: Two coats plus glossy top coat
SILENT NIGHT
DESCRIPTION: A purple jelly with fuchsia, silver, cherry and sapphire glitters and blue/purple chameleon chrome flakies
OPACITY: Three thin coats plus glossy top coat
THE ROUND UP
We gots a dire case of the Grabby Fingers, y’all! You’re gonna need like 18,000 bottles at minimum. Plus backups, for SAFETY. No sense in being normal at a time like this. The deets:
Each bottle retails for $9.50
However, Black Friday deals are still going on (Seeeee? Told you I was on time, kinda sorta.) and there’s a coupon. Use code IBCFRIDAY to get 20% off a $10+ purchase. Sooooo, now things are practically free and that 18,000 bottle thing up there? A bonafide justication scenario to like the trillionth degree.
Other Black Friday goodies:
* Free mystery polish with purchase of 5 or more bottle
* All orders receive a free mini culticle balm
* OMG, GET ON THIS!
Sale ends Monday, November 27 at 11:59pm EST, but why delay happiness? Go now or else. The collection will still be available after the sale as long as there’s stock, but who feels like taking chances today? NOT A DADGUM ONE OF US, that’s who.
Where to buy: http://www.noodlesnailpolish.com
Bonus clicking opportunities! Connect with Noodles Nail Polish:
Later, loves!
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How many people got a Black Friday-style elbow jab to the face today? Who crawled out of bed at 3am to stand amongst the crazies at the door to Toys R Us? Who waited in the drive thru at Starbucks for like half an hour cropping and watermarking swatch photos until coffee finally came? NOT THIS LADY!
Okay, well that Starbucks thing was me, but all the rest? NEVER. Black Friday gives me the hives, y’all. Too many people, all up in my business. Shopping carts all trying to go down the same aisle. Arms, everywhere. Plus, the surprising lack of pajamas is just too much to bear sometimes.
However, there was a coffee emergency. Hubby left early for work this morning and then I laid in bed for the next four hours waiting for Starbucks to just appear in my hand like magic. IT NEVER FREAKING DID. Ugh. So basically I had no choice but to venture out in traffic, with pants on and everything, and get in line for the next eternity all for the love of a peppermint mocha. I was soooo brave, you guys! Seriously, if there’s an award coming, I’ll take a Leonardo.
Speaking of emergencies, y’all need to FOCUS. The Glisten & Glow Black Friday & Beyond sale is officially underway and nail polish is happening to like the trillionth degree. Take a look at the next thing you’re buying, as in today, as in right now:
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GAH! Are you seeing this? Purples and blues and flakies and loooooooove. I don’t know what else you got planned for today, but tossing a bunch of THIS in the cart sounds like the most logical.
Introducing the Glorious Glistenettes trio, a set of three beautiful small batch thermal polishes that you never knew you needed. You do, you do! They’re absolutely lovely, but they’re also 80% sold out sooooo … if you’re thinking about a proper time to have yourself a panic attack, right now would be it.
Now we’re in a hurry. In an effort to not spend the next 18 years in here chatting about stupid stuff, let me just say:
1. Formula was a consistent, fantastic two coats
2. No issues with application whatsoever; practically effortless
3. Annnnd, you had me at effortless. All other points are moot.
LOVE ALWAYS
DESCRIPTION: A purple to pink thermal holographic with red shimmer, purple holo microglitter and color shifting flakies
Just the warm version:
Now the cool:
And gradient macros. Oooooh, the overachieve-y!
LAUGH OFTEN
DESCRIPTION: A lilac to light green thermal holographic with aqua shimmer, silver holo microglitter and color shifting flakies
The warm:
The cool:
Back to the gradient:
DREAM BIG
DESCRIPTION: A periwinkle to silver thermal holographic with copper shimmer, red holo microglitter and color shifting flakies
Full view of the warm:
Full view of the cool:
And finally, gradient macros to drool over:
THE ROUND UP
Seriously guys. If you’ve got a thing for thermals, these are spectacular. But did we expect anything less from Glisten & Glow? NO WE DID NOT. Jill’s got this polish thing on lock, y’all.
Very important shopping deets:
Sale is going on now and will run through Monday, November 27 at 11:59pm EST. However, let me stress to you ONE MORE TIME, these thermals are 80% sold out. I’m not the best at math, but even I can tell that’s not good news. Who’s missing out on all this pretty? CERTAINLY NOT YOU.
Use discount code BFANDBEYOND2017 to get 30% off your order. Which translates to free as far as I’m concerned. Shopping cart full of nail polish = completely and officially JUSTIFIED.
Where to buy: http://www.glistenandglow.com
Lastly, some linky loos! Connect with Glisten & Glow:
Now GO GO GO! Get your pretties before they’re gone. Pick up some top coat and some cremes and the new nail care products while you’re at it. It’s Black Friday; what better way to celebrate? Pants or no pants, that’s up to you.
Later, loves!
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Three hours from mashed potatoes and I. CAN’T. WAIT. Thought I would pop on real quick and talk about some nail polish because honestly I don’t know what sort of shape I’ll be in later. It’s a day full of carbs, y’all! Plus a diet soda, you know, for SAFETY.
It really sucks to be counting calories on Thankgiving cuz everything I want has gravy on it. I suppose I could go sans gravy, but OMG!, I about cried just typing that. Blah. I’m not even gonna pretend that’s normal.
So I’ve officially declared today a cheat day. I’ll try to be somewhat good, but maybe let’s keep the judgy eyes to a minimum just in case. Who’s that log on the couch with her pants undone, clearly being sexy but desperately trying to stay married? Yeah, that’s me, prettttty sure.
Okay. Nail polish. Let’s go! Here is something beautiful from Sarah and Adrienne, the lovely ladies behind Fair Maiden Polish. You want this:
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Told ya. 18,000 bottles, and in the cart they go! Cuz now is not the time for rational behavior.
This is the Tipsy Christmas collection, a set of 4 soft-toned shades loaded with all sorts of multi-dimensional goodies. Flakies and holo and jaw-dropping shifts … seriously guys, if you haven’t already drooled in roughly a thousand buckets, well then you are most definitely a robot.
A glorious parade of colors. Brace yourself for the swoons!
JINGLE YOUR BELLS OFF
DESCRIPTION: An elegant sage green with intense copper flame and subtle holographic hints
OPACITY: Three coats plus glossy top coat
SLEIGH ALL DAY
DESCRIPTION: A creamy soft lavender with red shimmer flame, subtle violet/gold shift with holo sparkle
OPACITY: Three coats plus glossy top coat
DON’T HOG THE NOG
DESCRIPTION: A rosy gold multichrome with magenta/copper/gold shift and holo sparkle throughout
OPACITY: Two coats plus glossy top coat
LET’S GET BLITZENED
DESCRIPTION: A muted blue with holo sparkle and teal to purple chroma shifting flakies
OPACITY: Two coats plus glossy top coat
THE ROUND UP
Want, want and 27 levels of YES PLEASE. That’s your new motto.
This collection releases tonight, November 23 at 11pm CST. So despite that mashed potato coma you’re in, you will FIND A WAY to get your shopping done. Fair Maiden up top, people! I’m serious. Here’s all you need to know:
Full set of 4 polishes retail for $43 (full size) or $28 (mini size)
Single bottles retail for $11
HOWEVER! There’s a coupon. Use code TIPSY25 at checkout to receive 25% off your order. Whyyyyy, that’s practically free! All the more reason to toss nail polish in the cart with your eyes closed. Weeee!
Other deals:
* 14 prototype mystery polishes
* Free Holiday 2017 polish with $50+ order (automatically added to cart; no effort!)
* The $5 doorbuster polish, It’s Lit, will be available but capped at 100 bottles; once it’s gone – it’s gone FOREVER! Soooo … first in line then? YEP, sounds about right.
Discount does not apply to the doorbuster and there’s a 2 bottle max. To see my review of It’s Lit (plus 14 other polishes in the Indie Brand Collective Black Friday sale), click here.
Where to buy: http://www.fairmaidenpolish.com
Bonus clicking opportunities! Connect with Fair Maiden Polish:
Alright, that’s it. Gotta get my game plan ready for dinner. Most likely involving stretchy pants, as there isn’t a no-pants option while out in public. Ugh, SOCIETY. You are ZERO fun sometimes.
Later, loves!
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Welcome to your speed blog, an actual bonafide speed blog (this time). Cuz Thanksgiving and Black Friday are officially upon us and I’m over here watching Friends reruns like responsibilities are things for other people. I mean, it all started out okay but then the episode comes on where Rachel made that banana/meat thing that tasted like feet and … welp … it’s down the rabbit hole I go. Weeee!
But now the panic has set in. I’ve got four blogs to write and zero days to write them. I’m not very good at math, but something tells me things aren’t turning out so well. Ugh. Stupid attention span. I’d like to tell you I’ll make this work, focus my brain, be a proper blogger for once, but you know, IT’S ME GUYS. I get very distracted by lounging, let’s just say.
However, we attempt anyway…
I received a ton of new pretties from Shannon with Pahlish to share with you today! There’s flakies and there’s shimmers and they’re all your polish dreams come true. Go ahead and check your ladylike composure at the door, cuz it’s 27 levels of drool-y in about 2.5 seconds. Take a look:
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And good news! You’re buying every last bit of it.
This is the 12 Days of Christmas collection, and I. STINKIN’. LOVE THEM. Vibrant color in a variety of finishes, all with a spectacular formula that is easy and effortless to apply. There’s something in here for everyone, although picking and choosing – well that point is moot. All 12 in the cart, remember? We’ve discussed this before.
So in an effort to just get the hell on with it, I give you your color rundown. See you at the bottom!
TWELVE DRUMMERS DRUMMING
DESCRIPTION: A warm purple jelly with a mix of multichrome and ultrachrome flakies with small iridescent violet glitters
OPACITY: Two coats plus glossy topcoat
ELEVEN PIPERS PIPING
DESCRIPTION: A deep ivy green with turquoise/pink/green multichrome shimmer
OPACITY: Three coats plus glossy top coat
TEN LORDS A LEAPING
DESCRIPTION: A bright silver with mix of ultrafine holographic glitter, holographic pigments and multicolored glass fleck shimmer; it’s silver on top of silver on top of more silver!
OPACITY: Two coats plus glossy top coat
NINE LADIES DANCING
DESCRIPTION: A deep strawberry red with holographic shimmer, small iridescent violet glitters, violet shimmer and violet multichrome flakies
OPACITY: Two coats plus glossy top coat
EIGHT MAIDS A MILKING
DESCRIPTION: A soft violet jelly with holographic flakies, violet shimmer, small iridescent violet glitters and pink and violet multichome flakies
OPACITY: Three coats plus glossy top coat
SEVEN SWANS A SWIMMING
DESCRIPTION: A deep blue with red shimmer, violet multichrome flakies and deep purple ultrachrome flakies
OPACITY: Two coats plus glossy top coat
SIX GEESE A LAYING
DESCRIPTION: A rich brown with a mix of holographic flakies, violet shimmer and pink and orange multichrome flakies
OPACITY: Two coats plus glossy top coat
FIVE GOLDEN RINGS
DESCRIPTION: A soft rose gold foil with a mix of pink and gold foil pigments
OPACITY: Two coats plus glossy top coat
FOUR CALLING BIRDS
DESCRIPTION: A sheer violet with bronze to green multichrome shimmer and ultrafine holographic glitter
OPACITY: Three coats plus glossy top coat
THREE FRENCH HENS
DESCRIPTION: A deep oxblood red with olive green to violet multichrome; appears more brown than red on me
OPACITY: Two coats plus glossy top coat
TWO TURTLE DOVES
DESCRIPTION: A soft grey creme with blue to pink multichrome shimmer and scattered holographic flakies
OPACITY: Two coats plus glossy top coat
PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE
DESCRIPTION: A soft taupe creme with a mix of holographic failed, red and green shimmers and pink and orange multichrome flakies
OPACITY: Two coats plus glossy top coat
In addition to the 12 Days of Christmas, Shannon made a couple of free gift with purchase polishes that justifies this entire blog post in one fell swoop. Look at these:
THE MOUSE KING
DESCRIPTION: A soft medium grey with a mix of iridescent glitters, multichrome flakies and holographic flakies
OPACITY: Two coats plus glossy top coat
TANGELED TINSEL
DESCRIPTION: A bright turquoise jelly with a mix of holographic flakies and shimmer with assorted multichrome flakies
OPACITY: Two coats plus glossy top coat
Both polishes will only be available during the Black Friday sale detailed below. They are freebies with purchase and will not be for sale or re-released in the future.
The Mouse King – free with a $50+ sale
Tangled Tinsel – free with a $75 sale
If you spend over $75, you get both. Ooooh, first an extraordinary amount of carbs on a plate and now THIS? Happy Thanksgiving to EVERYONE.
THE ROUND UP
All the Black Friday deets you can handle. FOCUS, y’all! It’s some serious business up ahead:
Full set of 12 polishes retail for $105.
Single bottles retail for $9, although SINGLE BOTTLES?! Just buy all 12 and then go be happy.
Sale starts on Thanksgiving night at midnight EST and will run through Monday, November 27 at 11:59pm EST. If you miss out (due to mashed potato coma, prolly), it will be restocked in small quantities when the Pahlish shop reopens in December. But then after January 1st, it’s gone for good. AAACK! Have a meltdown! Cue the hives cream! Panic, Level EXPERT to like the trillionth degree! Orrrr … you can just go be first in line instead. You know, whichever.
Free shipping kicks in at $50 for US customers and $100 for international.
And don’t forget about those gift with purchase polishes. Cuz free is still free even if you have to spend $75 to get there.
Where to buy: http://www.pahlish.com
And now, the linky loos! Connect with Pahlish:
Later, loves!
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Snacks On Rotation 