Tag Archives: polish pickup

Pretty Jelly: Polish Pickup January 2018

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• A PRESS SAMPLE FANDANGO •

Just because we left two family size tubs of French Onion dip intended for mom’s Christmas party in the fridge (and effectively ruined said party if you want my opinion) and then had to buy gigantic bags of potato chips today so the dip wouldn’t go to waste DOES NOT mean I had a plan this whole time to sabotage the party and have an excuse to eat the chips and dip all by myself. I mean, it only seems suspicious. Cuz I’ve spent a great part of my life with my hand stuck inside a chip bag, and if it somehow wasn’t in a chip bag, well clearly that me wasn’t me but an imposter me and the real me had been kidnapped cuz that scenario seemed far more likely. But this time, I swear I behaved. Which might possibly be the saddest thing I’ve ever written.

I CLICK, YOU CLICK, WE CLICK

Scofflaw Varnish: Polish Pickup January 2018

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• A PRESS SAMPLE FANDANGO •

We’re over halfway done with this Polish Pickup blogging thing and the sale doesn’t even start for 7 whooooole days.  Who’s overachieve-y?  I’m overachieve-y!  But I’ll be honest:  it’s slipping fast.  My mother-in-law got me a heated throw blanket for Christmas and I’ve legit been under that thing for about 96 hours straight.  And pulling my arms out just so I can type a blog is proving to be nigh on impossible.  Behind the scenes tidbit, guys:  I’ve spent the past three days writing this paragraph.  NOT A TYPO.  If we somehow miraculously make it to the end of this one, it’d be a dadgum miracle.

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Chirality Polish: Polish Pickup January 2018

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• A PRESS SAMPLE FANDANGO •

Jumping right into the polish tonight, as I’ve wasted enough time being lounge-y for the past few days.  Well, not lounge-y lounge-y cuz I definitely had clothes on more often than not.  And I went to an aquarium on Christmas Eve (i.e., nightmare scenario) and lost my grandchildren about 27,000 separate times.  But my point – there is a point, I swear it, guys – is that I wasn’t blogging that much.  I lounged but in the most un-lounge-y way possible.  And effectively created about 7,397 Polish Emergencies for myself.  So here we are, back at it.  Attempt #6 at telling you about things before the things are no longer the things.  Let us focus, shall we?  We shall!

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Top Shelf Lacquer: Polish Pickup January 2018

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• A PRESS SAMPLE FANDANGO •

Who else is spending Christmas Eve wondering why the cat’s been sitting in the dark staring at the toilet for the past two hours for no dadgum good reason? I mean, he literally hasn’t moved from one spot, not even by enticing him with smother-y hugs or full-on mouth kisses or NOTHING. At this point, I’m about 97.93749% certain the toilet is haunted, and in which case, GREEEEAT. I’m already terrified a snake is going to crawl out of it on a daily basis, so why not add one more baseless anxiety to the ever-growing mix? Seriously, WHO WANTS MY LIFE? Every single last one of you, pretttty sure. 

SHALL WE READ MORE? WE SHALL!

Fair Maiden Polish: Polish Pickup January 2018

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• A PRESS SAMPLE FANDANGO •

This blogging this has suddenly taken a var var serious turn.  Cuz in-laws are coming for the holidays, and now I can’t sit and stare at a blank screen for like 18 hours straight like normal.  Hubby says blogging in the bedroom with the door shut is RUDE, and also I have to put clothes on, soooo … Merry Christmas y’all.  Hope you’re enjoying your pajama-full life.  I’ll just be over here NOT BLOGGING and wearing clothes like a crazy person.  Ugh.

SHALL WE READ MORE? WE SHALL!

Seventy Seven Nail Lacquer: Polish Pickup January 2018

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• A PRESS SAMPLE FANDANGO •

Three blogs in three days, two weeks ahead of schedule.  I swear, is this even me right now cuz I legit don’t even know anymore.  The fact I am currently drinking a smoothie with both spinach AND kale in it is further proof that something has definitely gone awry.  YOU GUYS.  The alarming lack of Cheetos and things with gravy on top is almost too much to bear.  Seriously, WHOSE LIFE IS THIS?  Let’s just assume I’ve been kidnapped and someone else is writing this blog, because somehow that makes more sense.

SHALL WE READ MORE? WE SHALL!

LynBDesigns: Polish Pickup January 2018

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• A PRESS SAMPLE FANDANGO •

Only 88 days until Spring, not that I’m keeping track or anything.  Tomorrow we’re supposed to get some sort of arctic blast that’ll last for like two weeks .. eternity .. in there somewhere – so DON’T MIND ME.  I’ll just be the sad, crying thing over here wearing an extraordinary amount of robe and covered in a crap ton of afghans.  Ugh.  It’s like the Universe just refuses to let me be sexy, y’all, like, not even for a little bit.  OMG, am I still married?  Cuz seriously, I don’t even know.

SHALL WE READ MORE? WE SHALL!