Tag Archives: polish pickup

Top Shelf Lacquer: Polish Pickup January 2018

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Who else is spending Christmas Eve wondering why the cat’s been sitting in the dark staring at the toilet for the past two hours for no dadgum good reason? I mean, he literally hasn’t moved from one spot, not even by enticing him with smother-y hugs or full-on mouth kisses or NOTHING. At this point, I’m about 97.93749% certain the toilet is haunted, and in which case, GREEEEAT. I’m already terrified a snake is going to crawl out of it on a daily basis, so why not add one more baseless anxiety to the ever-growing mix? Seriously, WHO WANTS MY LIFE? Every single last one of you, pretttty sure. 

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Fair Maiden Polish: Polish Pickup January 2018

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This blogging this has suddenly taken a var var serious turn.  Cuz in-laws are coming for the holidays, and now I can’t sit and stare at a blank screen for like 18 hours straight like normal.  Hubby says blogging in the bedroom with the door shut is RUDE, and also I have to put clothes on, soooo … Merry Christmas y’all.  Hope you’re enjoying your pajama-full life.  I’ll just be over here NOT BLOGGING and wearing clothes like a crazy person.  Ugh.

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Seventy Seven Nail Lacquer: Polish Pickup January 2018

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Three blogs in three days, two weeks ahead of schedule.  I swear, is this even me right now cuz I legit don’t even know anymore.  The fact I am currently drinking a smoothie with both spinach AND kale in it is further proof that something has definitely gone awry.  YOU GUYS.  The alarming lack of Cheetos and things with gravy on top is almost too much to bear.  Seriously, WHOSE LIFE IS THIS?  Let’s just assume I’ve been kidnapped and someone else is writing this blog, because somehow that makes more sense.

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LynBDesigns: Polish Pickup January 2018

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Only 88 days until Spring, not that I’m keeping track or anything.  Tomorrow we’re supposed to get some sort of arctic blast that’ll last for like two weeks .. eternity .. in there somewhere – so DON’T MIND ME.  I’ll just be the sad, crying thing over here wearing an extraordinary amount of robe and covered in a crap ton of afghans.  Ugh.  It’s like the Universe just refuses to let me be sexy, y’all, like, not even for a little bit.  OMG, am I still married?  Cuz seriously, I don’t even know.

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Night Owl Lacquer: Polish Pickup January 2018

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I think I’ve forgotten how to blog. I took a four day break, and now I’ve been sitting here for the past 18 hours staring at a blank screen. Words, why you no write yourself?!  Ugh. It’s hard to be clever when the brain is on vacay.  And covered in 132 brand new sweaters. Did I tell you I’ve developed a shopping problem?  I mean, just cuz I haven’t been blogging doesn’t mean I haven’t been productive.  Hubby looooooves being married to me, I’m about 23% sure of it.

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Polish My Life: Polish Pickup December 2017

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GUYS.  We made it.  Officially ten blog posts in a little more than 5 days, and if there was ever a reason to have a wine cooler on a Saturday morning, this here’d be it.

I fully intended to have this posted last night, but I was the laziest of all things lazy and virtually laid motionless on the couch for about 9 hours straight.  THAT IS NOT A TYPO.  Seriously, if you ever wanna come see some Olympic-quality lounging about, head over to my house on a Friday night.  I mean, there was a full-on pajama pants EXTRAVAGANZA! on display except I left my work shirt on as I couldn’t even be bothered to see it to it’s proper end.  Y’ALL.  I gave up mid-pajamas and I’m pretttttty sure that’s the saddest thing I’ve ever written.

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Anchor & Heart Lacquer: Polish Pickup December 2017

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Judgy eyes, LOOK AWAY!  I know the Polish Pickup has already started. I know the blogs aren’t done. I know that proper blogger attempt has failed ONCE AGAIN with a big fat ZERO on top. Ugh. In my defense (cuz I always have one), this disturbing lack of Cheetos has got my brain all sorts of stoooopid.  And then I went and did actual work at work today and all lunchtime blogging plans = out the dadgum window.  Not sure whose idea it was to have me walking around the building doing things I get paid to do, but someone needs to STOP IT.  Cuz sadly – and surprisingly – the blogs don’t write themselves.  Booooo.

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Nail Hoot: Polish Pickup December 2017

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I am literally (once again) sitting here blogging with my eyes closed.  I’m not even sure what is happening right now.  Might be blogging, might be dreaming.  Honestly, it’s a crapshoot.  In my defense, I just spent all evening updating the blog and making it fancy, and because I don’t know how to do any of that, it took me years and years and years.  Feel free to go look and then send kudos and accolades cuz that was some kinda effort to like the trillionth degree.  And now it’s well after 2am so HEY! Let’s start a blog! cuz that makes a wholllllllle lotta sense right about now.

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Scofflaw Varnish: Polish Pickup December 2017

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Welcome to my 7,397th blog in a row.  The carpal tunnel situation is legit no joke.  But because I am a PROFESSIONAL BLOGGER EXTRAORDINAIRE, we soldier on anyway.  Sooooo … a little horn toot, perhaps?  I mean, all this effort’s worth a half of one at least.

Oooooh, coffee just appeared out of nowhere!  Topped with whipped cream and booze.  GAH!  After rice cakes and starvation and bowls of sad baby carrots, an award has officially come.  Thank you to hubby for being so sweet!  Either he loves me or is just tired of watching me cry when I get near Cheetos.  Regardless, we shall stay married for one more day.

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BLUSH Lacquers: Polish Pickup December 2017

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Reason #237 why this diet thing is lame:  rice cakes taste NOTHING like Cheetos.  Ugh.  I’m trying so hard to be good, but this potato chip-free HELL we’re in is about to reach a breaking point.  Cuz one cannot live on food that tastes like a wad of chewed up paper – coated in zesty ranch flavoring, but still.

So excuse me while I go cry into a bowl of baby carrots (again).  It is a sad state of affairs for ME.

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