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Who else is spending Christmas Eve wondering why the cat’s been sitting in the dark staring at the toilet for the past two hours for no dadgum good reason? I mean, he literally hasn’t moved from one spot, not even by enticing him with smother-y hugs or full-on mouth kisses or NOTHING. At this point, I’m about 97.93749% certain the toilet is haunted, and in which case, GREEEEAT. I’m already terrified a snake is going to crawl out of it on a daily basis, so why not add one more baseless anxiety to the ever-growing mix? Seriously, WHO WANTS MY LIFE? Every single last one of you, pretttty sure. 

Welcome to your speed blog, y’all! As mentioned in my last post, we are officially in the midst of some super quick blogging. I’ve got loads of Polish Pickup stuff ahead, but also Christmas and family and social-y things, so in an attempt to get it all done (properly instead of, like, after the polish is no longer available, as in worst, most inopportune time EVER), we’re just gonna get straight to the point.  A frenzy is lurking, guys!  You best be ready.

Here’s the January Polish Pickup contribution from Top Shelf Lacquer:

See?  EASY.  You’re buying 27 bottles, just like that.  Seriously, this blog is amazing.

The theme for this month is Crystals & Gemstones and Amy chose the Fox Turquoise.  This rare beauty comes from the Fox Mine in Nevada.  It forms from a silver vein and features a silver matrix.  What all that means, I truly don’t know but it has the word “rare” in it and therefore we want a billion of them.  It could literally be petrified dog turd, but if it’s RARE … welllll, I FREAKING WANT IT.  I’m not even gonna pretend that’s normal.

OMG, what?!  Shut up, brain.

I mean, this is clearly not dog turd.  This is straight up GLORIOUS.  Here’s proof:

So yeah, a billion of them. This does not bode well for the finances. Cuz groceries, electricity and general adult-y responsibilities? Out the dadgum window with this one.

CYAN-TIFICALLY PROVEN

DESCRIPTION: A bright, almost neon turquoise creme with holo sparkle and tons of teal/orange/pink color shifting flakies 

OPACITY: Two coats plus glossy top coat

So stinkin dreamy! A legit ocean of lovely.  This color is the perfect polish twin to the inspiration photo; Amy made magic y’all! But then again, we already knew she would.

In addition to the polish, Amy will also have a trio of shower bombs available.  The scents on these are Ginger Lime & Menthol, Lavender Eucalyptus & Menthol and Peppermint Grapefruit & Menthol.  Toss one in the bottom of your shower and let the aromas take you away somewhere.  A relaxing, revitalizing, sinus-clearing spa experience.  You want some, oh yes you do!

DISCLAIMER:  Shower bombs are for the shower only as the oils may irritate your sensitive areas.  In clearer terms, if you put it in the bathtub and your vagina falls off, that’s on you.

I don’t have exact pricing on the bombs, but that point is moot. Toss em in the shopping cart, stat.

And now, back to the nail polish.  Some var var important ordering information:

Price: $12 with no cap at the moment, but that might change.  Soooo, who’s about to be first in line then?  That’s YOU, to be clear.  Cuz there’s no way you’re missing out on all these goodies. Especially after I carpal tunneled for you on Christmas Eve.  Fair is fair, boo boos!

WHAT: 70-plus indie polish brands and products all coming together for a one-stop shop event; you buy one or all, it’s up to you! Flat $3 shipping no matter what. Combined shipping is offered as well so go ahead and make 42 separate orders; it’s all good (crazy, but good).

WHEN: Friday, January 5 at 11am EST thru Monday, January 8 at 1159pm EST

WHERE: http://www.polishpickup.com

If you’d rather read the more eloquent version, click here for the FAQs from the PPU website. For extra bonus points, click here to join the Facebook fan group to take part in future Polish Pickup theme nominations, voting and sneak peeks. And then prepare to spend some money cuz it’s a bye bye checkbook-type situation for you.

Later, loves!

• A PRESS SAMPLE FANDANGO •