Tag Archives: top shelf lacquer

Dec24

Top Shelf Lacquer: Polish Pickup January 2018

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• A PRESS SAMPLE FANDANGO •

Who else is spending Christmas Eve wondering why the cat’s been sitting in the dark staring at the toilet for the past two hours for no dadgum good reason? I mean, he literally hasn’t moved from one spot, not even by enticing him with smother-y hugs or full-on mouth kisses or NOTHING. At this point, I’m about 97.93749% certain the toilet is haunted, and in which case, GREEEEAT. I’m already terrified a snake is going to crawl out of it on a daily basis, so why not add one more baseless anxiety to the ever-growing mix? Seriously, WHO WANTS MY LIFE? Every single last one of you, pretttty sure. 

SHALL WE READ MORE? WE SHALL!

Dec6

Top Shelf Lacquer: Get in the Spirit! Collection 

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• A PRESS SAMPLE FANDANGO •

Welcome to yet another blog written with one eye sleeping.  One of these days, I’ll figure out a way to be normal; however, UNFORTUNATELY, today is not our day.  Work has kept me busy for the last week or so (unfairly, as you might imagine, what with all the goofing off and feet up on the desk, lounging, to do), so all lunchtime blogging and/or napping plans have gone out the freaking window.  In fact, it’s been dayyyys since I’ve taken a proper lunch break, and you’d ASSUME that makes you skinny, but AGAIN … today is not our day.

SHALL WE READ MORE? WE SHALL!

Sep5

Top Shelf Lacquer: Drunken Creme Fall Holos

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Now that the Polish Pickup blogging frenzy is officially done, it’s time to get on our focus face. Remember those 7,397 blogs left to write?  Not a dadgum dent. I figure at this point if there’s even a skosh of a chance in getting caught up, someone’s gonna have to come take the pajamas and the couches and the Full House away.

Except don’t, or I will cut you. 

So before stabby things happen, let’s do Plan B: pulling double blog duty plus superhuman efforting plus Cheetos far from grabby distance.  I mean, it’s not the most ideal, but it’s hard to write a blog while in the midst of a potato chip euphoria-type situation.

Okay, nail polish. LET’S GO. 

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Amy from Top Shelf Lacquer sent me one of the most MUST HAVE fall collections of all time.  This is the Drunken Creme Fall Holos, and OMG, you guys! Wallets are flying out of purses, everywhere. 

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: the best thing about fall is the colors. The palette on this collection is all your dreams come true.  Some warm and cozy beauties in here! A brown, an orange, a yellow, a GREEEEEEN!  Did someone just hand me a basketful of kitties? Might as well have.

For my swatches, I did two coats plus glossy top coat. The formula is silky smooth magical perfection. Seriously, a one way ticket to the Drool Convention, at minimum. And most likely not accidentally on all the surfaces. Mine AND yours.

Here’s a quick rundown of all the colors.  No need for screenshots; you’re buying all twelve!

JUICED

DESCRIPTION:  A perfect fall pumpkin orange holographic creme

LIQUORED UP

DESCRIPTION:  A cool medium grey holographic creme

SLOSHED


DESCRIPTION:  A mustard yellow holographic creme (squeeee!)

BOOZED UP


DESCRIPTION:  A fun amaranth red holographic creme

BEFUDDLED


DESCRIPTION:  A medium teal holographic creme

PLASTERED

DESCRIPTION:  A dusky plum holographic creme

TANKED

DESCRIPTION:  A lush olive green holographic creme (more squeeee!)

TIPSY

DESCRIPTION:  A warm rich milk chocolate brown holographic creme

HAMMERED


DESCRIPTION:  A vampy burgundy holographic creme

BUZZED

DESCRIPTION:  A light teal holographic creme

INEBRIATED 

DESCRIPTION:  A rich Prussian blue holographic creme

WASTED


DESCRIPTION:  A dusky mauve holographic creme

THE ROUND UP


Yep. All twelve, and in the cart they go! Weeee!

This collection is available now and comes in both full size and 8ml minis. Here’s the deets:

Full set of 12 retails for $120/full or $92/mini; individual bottles are $12/full or $8.50/mini. 

Where to buy: http://www.topshelflacquer.com

When to buy: 2.5 seconds ago. Get on it, boo boos!

And now, some click-y things!  Connect with Top Shelf Lacquer:

Instagram 

Facebook 

Fan Group

Okay, gang! That’s all for now.  Back in a few hours with your bonus blog. Maybe. I mean, clearly I’m not very good at blogging. 

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Sep2

Top Shelf Lacquer: Polish Pickup September 2017

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Blog train still rolling!  Hope you’re ready to spend some money today, cuz there’s no way you’re getting out of here without hoarding all the polish. Seriously, I MEAN IT.  Time to get off your no-buys, ladies! Cuz a legit no joke justification scenario is in effect.  And I’m just in here chatting like we have all the time in the world. 

WE DON’T. The Polish Pickup sale is underway y’all and there’s just two days left to get your life in order.  I have one of the prettiest polishes of your life to show you today, and you’re gonna need approximately 18,000 bottles. Grab your drool buckets!  Here’s Kindred Spirits from Top Shelf Lacquer:

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

OMG, have you ever?  (No you have not.)  I just love Amy’s polishes so much. Everything she makes is a masterpiece. If you’ve never owned a bottle, you’ve got a serious amount of catching up to do. But totally worth it if you’ve got a billion dollars handy.

Once again, the September Polish Pickup theme is Fall Foliage and Fun. Look at this cute inspiration photo:

Well, I could end the blog right here and y’all’d know you want this polish. Cuz two little birdies in a tree being adorable? We’ve all got the Grabby Fingers, pretty sure.

But because I am a DADGUM PROFESSIONAL, here’s swatches of Amy’s beautiful polish anyway:

KINDRED SPIRITS

DESCRIPTION:  A steel blue holographic with golden shift, bronze fleck and subtle lavender flame

OPACITY:  Two dreamy coats

You guys. I am in love with everything. The holo, the shift, the FLECK!, the FLAME!  Those are drooling words right there, and trust me, I’m already an unattractive mess. Application is smooth, color is glorious, sparkle is fantastical perfection. YOU WILL LOVE in a smother-y stalker-y kinda way, I just know it. 

More drool-y opportunities:

Who’s looking sexy right now?  NOT THIS LADY! Cuz one does not look good whilst the tongue is lolling about outside the body.

Okay, now FOCUS.  Here’s all you need to know:

As mentioned before, the Polish Pickup store is officially open and will stay open until Monday September 4 at 11:59pm EST.  DO 👏🏼 NOT 👏🏼 SLEEP 👏🏼 ON 👏🏼 THIS. Cuz who wants to wake up on Tuesday, sad and polish-less? Damn near no one, that’s who.  

To shop: http://www.PolishPickup.com

Cost: All the makers set their own pricing; Top Shelf will run you $12. But happiness is priceless, and that’s all that matters. Shipping is a flat $3 fee no matter if you buy one or a billion.

Plus, if you’ve already purchased from the sale, you can go back in and buy more goodies and PPU will combine your shipping. So feel free to place like 42 orders. You’ll be taken care of like royalty. 

To be continued; only one more to go! Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Aug16

Cupcake Polish + Top Shelf Lacquer + Crystal’s Charity Lacquers: Quad for the SPCA

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After an evening full of couch lounging and spending an extraordinary amount of time watching my cat have a fight with a string tie from one of my shirts, suddenly it is after midnight and YET AGAIN now is the time to write a blog.  Seriously guys, I might never go to bed again.  Cuz FOR SOME REASON, the blog don’t write itself and there’s roughly 7,397 left to do.  Still.  I’m not very good at goals, let’s just say.

And naturally there’s a POLISH EMERGENCY! in our midst. So we’re gonna zip through the blog real quick before I tell you things after the things are no longer the things.  Clearly, I make perfect sense when my brain is half asleep.  But aside from all that, Crystal’s Charity Lacquers is back again and it’s time to hoard some polish! BOOM.

Each month or so, Crystal’s Charity Lacquers chooses a charity and teams up with indie brands to create exclusive polishes to sell and help raise funds for the cause. This round, she has chosen Sara from Cupcake Polish and Amy from Top Shelf Lacquer to release some pretties to benefit the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, otherwise known as the SPCA.

So get off your no-buys, ladies! A TOTAL LEGIT JUSTIFICATION-type scenario just fell into your lap like no big deal. Lesssss go!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

A charity for animals is one of the easiest causes to donate to.  Cuz we all love animals, cats and dogs and little baby pandas trapped in tiny bubble cocoons.  And it doesn’t matter how much hard work they are (in a poop scooping way, mostly) or the fact a piece of cat hair literally just flew into my wet manicure, I still want to kiss my fur baby straight in the mouth even though he probably licked his own butt approximately 2.5 seconds ago.  Not sure that’s an admirable quality or what this says about me as a person, but that is beside the point.  

As previously mentioned, there are two indie brands helping out this round, and I was lucky enough to bring you swatches of both this time.  The whole shebang, y’all!  If you’re thinking overachieve-y best blogger ever, well, you’d be about 97.48676% correct.

Here’s a brief rundown of all the goodies, then I’ll meet you at the bottom.  And then prepare to spend some money, cuz there’s no way you’re getting out of this blog without 27,000 bottles in the cart.  Rational behavior?  NOT TODAY!

CUPCAKE POLISH DUO

Spoiler alert:  FLAKIES!  Wallets are officially flying out of purses, everywhere.

MAKE TODAY PAWSOME

DESCRIPTION:  An emerald green holographic with pink/copper/green/gold color shifting metallic flakies

OPACITY:  Two coats plus top coat

Also, did I mention this is green?  Gah!  The effort to stay upright at the moment is a dire situation indeed.

PAWS AND SHARE THE LOVE

DESCRIPTION:  A mulberry purple holographic with copper/red/gold color shifting metallic flakies 

OPACITY:  Again with the two coats

I’m loving how the flakies look like little glowy sparks of fire.  It’s comfy and cozy and happiness times a billion.  Did someone just walk in here and hand me a basket full of kitties?  Might as well have.

So if all that wasn’t enough to get you tossing polish in the cart all willy nilly, we’ll just go ahead and make your best day ever even best-i-er.  Cuz look what else you’re buying:

TOP SHELF LACQUER DUO

Dammmmmit.  I was trying to be a lady all day long, and now everything is ruined.  Cuz it’s hard to look classy while running for your drool bucket.

BLOODHOUND MARY

DESCRIPTION:  A deep red polish filled with glowing glass fleck and a subtle pink to orange shift

OPACITY:  Two smooth and yummy coats

This polish is ridiculously pretty.  More proof below:

THE BULLDOG SMASH

DESCRIPTION:  A medium grey with blue shimmer and red/orange/pink/yellow color shifting flakies 

OPACITY:  Two amazing coats

Y’all know I have issues with Fall, simply because of its unfortunate proximity to the hell that is Winter.  But it’s polishes like this, ones that look like wet leaves on pavement or smoldering ashes in a bonfire, that makes me think that Fall is the best season there is.  Just for half a second, though, but still.

And now, we SWOON.  You guys.  Get on this like stat.

THE ROUND UP

Pre-sale for these charity polishes has already started, cuz I am a DADGUM PROFESSIONAL, in case you are curious.  Regardless, there is time still left, so if bonus points are coming, well that sounds about right.  Last day to purchase is August 27 so make sure you go NOW, or at the very least, 5 seconds from now.

Cost for the Cupcake Polish colors is $13 and Top Shelf Lacquer’s is $12.  A portion of the proceeds will be donated to the SPCA, which makes this hoarding problem well and truly worth it.  Polishes are available now in each respective maker’s site, so here are the linkies all typed and ready to go:

Cupcake Polish 

Top Shelf Lacquer

Then while you’re in a clicking mood, go ahead and join the Crystal’s Charity Lacquers Facebook group so you can get inside scoop on future donations, brand collaborations, and polish sneak peeks. DO IT. I mean it. Click here.

And now we’re done!  I’m headed to bed and you’re headed for your checkbook.  Cuz that’s how this thing works. Weeeee!

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Aug10

Indies Outside the Box: Fan-Tastic Customs 3rd Edition

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GUYS.  I went to bed before midnight last night cuz for an extremely brief moment, I thought I had my life together.  Swatches were done, blog was done, and all my tiny baby pandas had been set free from their bubble traps.  So I laid myself down, snuggled deep into my pillow, and about carpal tunneled myself via a high-fiving frenzy.  Are trophies coming, y’all?  Cuz, logically, that sounds about right.

And then I proceeded to scroll Instagram under the covers until after 1am because VICTORIES ARE A THING FOR OTHER PEOPLE.  Ugh.  Seriously, someone needs to come take my internet away.  Except don’t, or I will cut you.

Beautiful things are on the blog today!  I’ve got the latest edition of the Indies Outside of the Box collaboration, and it’s basically a box full of perfection.  Who’s ready for a one way ticket to the Drool Convention?  (All of us, to be clear.)  Take a look!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

And just like that, wallets are flying out of purses everywhere.  Weeeee!

The Indies Outside of the Box collab is a quarterly box created from inspiration photos submitted by the members in their fan group.  The box features two constant brands – Top Shelf Lacquer (love!) and Lollipop Posse Lacquer (more love!) – and two featured brands.  For this 3rd edition, Fair Maiden Polish and Polish ‘M have joined the fun, which basically means you’re buying this box.  At this point, you have no choice.

Here are the photos that were chosen:

And then magic happened …

TOP SHELF LACQUERS:  PINEAPPLE MATTE-RS

DESCRIPTION:  A bright pink matte base with pink and gold flakies

OPACITY:  Two smooth coats

I stinkin’ love this one.  There’s just something about matte polish that gives me a dire case of the Grabby Fingers.  And then those little flakies peeping through?  Gah!  GIMME.

Then I did a couple of glossy versions, cuz SOMEONE’S a dadgum professional:

Top is under the lamps; bottom is in indirect lighting.  Either way, we lub it lots!

LOLLIPOP POSSE LACQUER:  EIGHT ARMS TO HOLD YOU

DESCRIPTION:  A blue-aqua crelly with pink shimmer and a touch of holographic sparkle

OPACITY:  Two easy coats

Seriously, are angels singing?  Cuz I hear angels.

Karen with Lollipop always makes such lovely polishes.  This blue is no exception.  And then that pink shimmer is this extra layer of magic, and suddenly your brain has gone away somewhere.  So. Freaking. Dreamy.  

FAIR MAIDEN POLISH:  PASSION PLANET

DESCRIPTION:  A deep dusky purple holographic with magenta/orange/copper shifting flakies and a subtle violet/red shifting flame

OPACITY:  Two yummy coats

I won’t lie, I kinda wanna lick this one.  Except SOCIETY says no.  Booooo.

I mean, I know it tastes like poison and it might actually kill me, but what if – WHAT IF! – it doesn’t? What if it’s a grape Jolly Rancher and I’ve just been wasting so much time sitting here being normal and whatnot? What is the point in life if you can’t eat a bit of nail polish every now and then? I ask you, WHAT IS THE POINT?

But aside from all that, I’ll just be over here reattaching my jaw to my face about 18,000 times. BRB.

And then I went outside for this one.  The overachieve-y is in FULL EFFECT:

POLISH ‘M:  AT FIRST BLUSH

DESCRIPTION:  A rose pink base with gold shimmer, gold micro flecks, rose iridescent flakies, rose gold microflakies and touch of scattered pink galaxy holo

OPACITY:  Two beautiful coats

OMG.  It’s time to roll the couches over cuz we’re all about to get suuuuuper pass-out-y in here.  Cuz you can’t just toss in all those goodies and then expect anything ladylike to happen next. Nope, it’s sweaty to, like, the trillionth degree.

THE ROUND UP

Now here’s where it gets serious.  This box is only available for the next four days, so now is not the time for lounging on couches.  FOR REAL.  Don’t 👏🏼 sleep 👏🏼 on 👏🏼 this!  If you miss it, it’s a sad state of affairs for you.

Here’s some deets:

Cost for this box is $40 plus shipping

Pre-sale ends August 14 at 1159pm EST, and then the box goes away forever.  Are you properly panicked yet?  Well, you should be.

Expected ship date is August 30, which also happens to be my birthday.  Write it down in your book in case there’s a quiz.  Or if you’re in a Starbucks and a gift card just falls in your lap like no big deal.  

Available at http://www.topshelflacquer.com RIGHT NOW, so get on it, boo boos!  Cuz it’s Friday and you’re most likely wearing sweatpants doing nothing anyway.  Well, if you’re me.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Aug1

Top Shelf Lacquer: Polish Pickup August 2017

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Remember that time when I was the monthly designated blogger for the Polish Pickup and I blogged so much, my hands literally just fell off my body in a carpal tunnel-y rebellion-type EXTRAVAGANZA!?  For a girl who lounges on couches for a living, that was an insane display of effort, and I’m quite certain at this point I can stop with the pants and the productivity and the moving of the legs and whatnot.  Cuz once you hit Doing Things, LEVEL EXPERT, it’s 37 years of pajamas and Starbucks and hubby bringing back snacks from the kitchen.  Who’s writing this blog then?  Seriously, I don’t even know.

And now somehow 30 days or so have passed us by, and the August Polish Pickup is officially lurking. What?!  Did July last like 4 seconds, or what?  I swear, time needs to STOP IT with the overachieve-y or else winter will be here soon, and I’m not interested in that one bit.  Cue the hives, I can already tell.  Blah.

But no more chatty.  I have a huge slew of pretties to get through this week, and if I want to attempt to be a proper blogger, then now is not the time to take 18 years.  Cuz FOR SOME REASON, the Polish Pickup only lasts 4 days and if we all wanna have an anxiety attack to the trillionth degree, well that sounds about right.  Here’s the contribution from Top Shelf Lacquer:

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

The theme for the month of August is Old Hollywood, which is only unfortunate due to it’s surprising lack of Leonardo.  I know he’s not really Old Hollywood per se, but I think if you played Jack Dawson in Titanic, Howard Hughes, one of the Three Musketeers and a man who pretended to be a pilot to get free rides on airplanes, well quite simply … you get a waiver.  

This is why I’m not in charge of things.  Cuz clearly, I need supervised.

Amy chose Shirley Temple as her inspiration:

And then this beautiful thing happened: 

My photos don’t even do it justice, but did y’all see flakies?  Squeeeeee!  We’re officially about 2.5 seconds away from noodle legs, so let’s move on before unattractive things happen.

DESCRIPTION:  A silver linear holographic polish with a strong purple shift and loaded with color shifting flakies that change from purple to blue to teal to green

Under the lamps, HOLO say heyyyyyy:

Then I added a matte top coat for funsies:

Another angle, which I swore looked completely different from the first picture, but in reality it’s most definitely different by at least 17 millimeters. You know, VASTLY DIFFERENT is what I mean.

And here’s where our brains completely stop working:

BIG. PUDDLE. OF GOO.  Well, you didn’t come here for the ladylike composure anyway. Tongues are lolling, everywhere!

So about this Polish Pickup thing, I’ll give you a brief rundown of talking points:  

WHAT: 42 indie polish brands all coming together for a one-stop shop event; you buy one or all, it’s up to you! Flat $3 shipping no matter what. 

WHEN: Friday, August 4 at 11am EST thru all day Monday, August 7

WHERE: http://www.PolishPickup.com

If you’d rather read the more eloquent version, click here for the FAQs from the PPU website.

The prices will vary from brand to brand, but Top Shelf’s Shirley Temple will retail for $12. Although a billion dollars would be fine too. FLAKIES, guys. Flakies.

To join in the fun of future Polish Pickup theme nominations, voting and sneak peeks, click here for the Facebook fan group. DO IT. I’m serious.

To be continued, loves!  Only 7,347 polishes to go!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Jul20

Top Shelf Lacquer: Alcohol Musings Collection 

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The onslaught of boring blogs is coming, guys. I have wasted so much time in the past few days, I am officially behind schedule to the trillionth degree.  It seems all the lounging on couches and accidental naps before bedtime have not proven to be as productive as one would expect. Cuz apparently things don’t just happen all by themselves.  Boooooo.  Science wins again. 

Lately it’s been Lazy, Level EXPERT plus a bunch of bonus rounds on top.  So much robe has been happening, if hubby’s reconsidering that for better, for worse thing he swore he’d do, no one’s surprised.  He tried to lure me outside to go make an effort of some sort, and I’m like, is Leonardo out there handing me a Starbucks, then?  Cuz that’s the only outside type of escapade I’m willing to commit to.  Until then, it’s me + couch + air conditioning = not getting skinny any time soon.  Besides, last time I attempted effort, I got carpet burn in my butt crack, and not even for a very good reason.  Pilates is the devil, let’s just say.

But now the situation has reached a dire state.  The blogs have piled up, and if I don’t figure out a way to write them with a skosh less Tolstoy, we’re all gonna be sitting in here for the next 18 years.  I don’t know what y’all got planned later, but I’m pretty sure living a much more interesting life than me is probably at the top of the list.  Cuz not everyone has time to polish nails for nigh on eternity.  Although why don’t you?! is the actual question. 

So let’s get into it, then!  I have the new Alcohol Musings collection from Top Shelf Lacquer to show you today, a set of six gorgeous creme shimmers with a twist.  And good news:  you’re buying all of them.  Weeeee!  Take a look:

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Told ya.  Wallets are flying out of purses everywhere.  A prelude to the Noodle Leg Epidemic happening next.

Okay, FOCUS.  Serious business up ahead.  Enjoy the pictures sans commentary; I’ll just be over here having an attack of the hives.  COMPLETELY NORMAL BEHAVIOR, if you’re curious.  Here’s the rundown of colors:

Tequila Made Me Do It:

DESCRIPTION:  A turquoise creme with turquoise shimmer with a delicate pink shift and touch of scattered holo

It’s Not Good to Keep Things Bottled Up:

DESCRIPTION:  A rose pink creme with a pink to blue shifting shimmer and touch of scattered holo

I am GIN-vincible:

DESCRIPTION:  A medium blue creme with a turquoise to purple shifting shimmer

You Can’t Sip With Us!:

DESCRIPTION:  A bright orange creme with greenish gold shimmer with subtle flash of pink in just the right lighting

Irish I Had a Beer!:

DESCRIPTION:  A mint green with a soft shift to pink and peach with a touch of scattered holo

An extra macro so you can really see that shift:

Life is BREWtiful!:

DESCRIPTION:  A lilac creme with red shimmer that has a subtle shift to copper and a touch of scattered holo

Clearly, words were not necessary.  All stunning, all glorious, all super pass-out-y.  If you haven’t drooled in at least a thousand buckets by this point, I am var var sad about your brain.

And then I did A THING:

A watermarble thing!  And it turned out perfectly.  Did you just scroll up to see whose blog you were reading?  ME TOO!  I swear, I can only tell I am me by the sheer amount of robe that is happening at the moment.

That shimmer:

You done died.  You did.

The round up:

The formula on these was luxuriously silky and exquisite.  It was a legit Polish Mountain moment, except I had 7,397 other nail polishes staring back at me.  Ugh, responsibilities.

I did three coats on all except Irish I Had a Beer, which got two.  They were an absolute pleasure to apply, which is a full on NERD ALERT! at minimum, but also, I’M SERIOUS.  I could’ve sat there for days, and probably would have if hubby didn’t set a bag of Doritos in the other room.

Okay guys, the deets:

Set of six polishes:  $60 for full size or $45 for 8ml polish shots

Single bottles:  $11 for full size or $8 for 8ml polish shots

Everything is available now, so click here for shopping!  It’s the most logical next step.

And now, the linky loos.  Connect with Top Shelf Lacquer:

Instagram

Facebook

Fan Group

Thanks for stopping by, everyone!  I know it wasn’t my normal chatty style, but I hope you liked it anyway.  I mean, there was pretty polish in here, and that’s the whole point of this blog anyway.  The fact we talk about how often I am pants-less is just a bonus.  However, as soon as I get caught up, I’ll be back to normal and most likely annoying the shit out of everyone.  YOU CAN’T WAIT!

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Jul11

Nail Hoot + Top Shelf Lacquer Collaboration Duo

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When your husband asks you what your plans are for his birthday and you answer “painting my nails,” just be aware the reaction you get isn’t quite as exciting as you’d expect.

So now I’m forced to do stuff outside the house this weekend, which requires slightly less pajamas than originally planned. Ugh. I suppose if there’s any one thing worth putting pants on for 72 hours, it’d be him.  He’s a good guy. He pulls 18,000 nail polish packages out of the mailbox and only gives a skosh of a side eye.

Until then, though, it’s business as usual. Swatching and blogging and Full House marathons. Eating Funyuns, locked alone in a room, and wondering why skinny is taking so damn long. You know, if I wasn’t such a Trophy Wife, we’d all be worried. 

Here’s something pretty:

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

This duo is a collaboration between Brandie with Nail Hoot and Amy with Top Shelf Lacquer, which started out as a joke.  Brandie had a naming contest in her Facebook group, and Amy suggested the name “Hoot This Way.”  For every contest after that, Amy continued to submit “Hoot This Way” as her entry.  Finally, Brandie agreed to the name as long as she could name one of Amy’s polishes, and VOILA! a duo is born.  And good news, guys:  you’re buying it.  Weeeeee!

First half of the duo is from Nail Hoot. Here is – FINALLY, in all its glory – Hoot This Way:

Worth the wait.  Yes?  YES.

DESCRIPTION: A rose gold holographic with strong gold flash

COATS:  Two, but good coverage in one

If you’re a fan of neutrals, you’re gonna love this one.  It’s the perfect polish for elegant, hand model-y, tiny cappucino cup holding scenarios.  As we all do from time to time.

I did some nail art:

I might’ve accidentally got my birds confused on this one, cuz the longer I look at my ring finger, the more I am convinced that’s not a flamingo.  Either that, or there’s some serious leg envy happening with the other flamingos.  Ring Finger Flamingo is my baby sister who is lovely and lithe; Other Finger Flamingo is me who has a problem with potato chips.  Ugh.

Used the Lina 4 Seasons – Summer 02 plate in case you’re curious.  

The last half of the duo is from Top Shelf Lacquer. Here is Drunk & Disorderly:

Ooooh!  There’s an accidental painting of all the surfaces lurking, I just know it.

DESCRIPTION: A medium blue crelly with scattered holo, a subtle purple shift and color-shifting chameleon flakies

COATS:  Two, nice and smooth

But back to those flakies.  Are they not divine?!  Seriously, if you came here for the ladylike composure, well now is not the time for a flakie display.  Cuz the amount of drool buckets happening over here is quite alarming to say the least.  OMG, am I still married?  I don’t even know.

Some mediocre mojo:

Do not ask why I did sharks.  Sometimes when I nail art, my brain just goes away somewhere.  I mean, it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever done, but an award is definitely not coming this time.  Although I’ll take a Starbucks anyway, you know, if y’all not busy.

Used the Lina 4 Seasons – Summer 02 plate again in case recreations are in order.  (They’re not.)  NEXT.

The round up:

This precious little duo releases this Friday, July 14 so make sure you set approximately 17 alarms cuz rational behavior is for other people.  There are 25 sets ready to go for immediate shipping, and POLISH EMERGENCY doesn’t even begin to describe this scenario. However, in case your priorities aren’t properly categorized, alphabetized and assorted by size and color then pre-orders will be taken until August 15.  Targeted ship date on those is August 30, otherwise known as FREAKING LIGHT YEARS AWAY.

In other words, you better snag those first 25.  DO IT.  I mean it.

Price for the duo is $18 and they will ship internationally, so it’s an equal opportunity good day for everyone!  Click here for shopping,

Some linky loos:

Nail Hoot – Instagram – Facebook – Facebook Fan Group

Top Shelf Lacquer – Instagram – Facebook – Facebook Fan Group

And while you’re in a clicking mood, follow me on Instagram.  Cuz at this point, it’s just the right thing to do.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Jul2

PART 2 Polish Pickup July 2017: Cocktails & Mocktails

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Wasn’t I just in here blogging?  I swear I was.

Welcome to Part 2 of the insanity, guys!  In case you just jumped in here in the middle like a crazy person, there’s a whole other Part 1 you need to read first.  DO IT.  I’m serious.  Click here.

Brief reiteration of what we’re doing.  I got chosen to blog for the Polish Pickup for the month of July and I’ve got a crap ton of polishes to show you before the carpal tunnel sets in.  Trying to keep things short and sweet, as I know we all don’t lounge around on couches doing nothing like me.  You and your fancy life.  Ugh.

I’m about to get 97.7668% more chatty, so let’s reel it in.  Here’s 10 more things you’re buying:

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •


The theme for the July Polish Pickup is Cocktails & Mocktails, so everything in here is inspired by a drink.  Considering I can make one wine cooler last a whole three hours, I’d say 1) they chose the PERFECT month for me to blog, and 2) I’m super fun at parties.  

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STELLA CHROMA:  Blackberry Mint Moscow Mule

DESCRIPTION:  A nude crelly with green/purple ultra chameleon chrome flakies and a heavy dose of copper flakies

COATS:  Only needed two

This one is one of the most unique polishes of the bunch.  I don’t normally wear nude polishes cuz my sad white sausages look even more sausage-y when I wear neutrals.  HOWEVER.  The flakies in here are unreal!  They completely transform this polish and now I want to wear it on all FIVE fingers like a normal person.  The thumbs are about to get some luvin’!

Under the lamps:

Macros:

Price: $12

Linky loos:

Shop http://www.stellachroma.com

Instagram http://www.instagram.com/stellachroma

Facebook http://www.facebook.com/stellachroma

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TURTLE TOOTSIE POLISHES:  Galaxy Cocktail

DESCRIPTION:  A blurple holographic with pink shimmer and blue and purple chameleon flakies

COATS:  Excellent coverage in one, but needed two to make it perfect

Seriously, those little dots of blue peeking through, I want a trillion more of those!  I love those unexpected little surprises that only indie brands can do.  Plus, no one hates a blue and purple combo now do they?  Unless you don’t like pretty things, or maybe you have no eyes.  I dunno.

Under the lamps: 

Macros:

Price: $10.50

Linky loos:

Shop http://www.turtletootsiepolishes.com

Instagram http://www.instagram.com/turtletootsiepolishes

Facebook http://www.facebook.com/turtletootsiepolishes

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LOLLIPOP POSSE LACQUER:  Gin and Juice

DESCRIPTION:  A holographic gold to green duochrome that suspends gold flakies

COATS:  I did three coats although two might’ve been fine, but when I’m using one of Karen’s polishes, my brain just goes away somewhere.

Side note:  the more thin your coats, the better the flakies show up.  Also, Snoop Dog was the inspo for this polish although Karen said it’s not official.  But he is, I’m sure of it.  And lastly, the drool is getting ridiculous.  Bah!

Under the lamps:

Macros: 

Price: $12

Linky loos:

Shop http://lollipopposselacquer.com

Instagram http://www.instagram.com/lollipopposselacquer 

Facebook http://www.facebook.com/Lollipop-Posse-Lacquer-720218501425617

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SEVENTY SEVEN NAIL LACQUER:  Cherry on Top

DESCRIPTION:  A bright coral base with red, orange and slightly pink shimmer

COATS:  Formula is very sheer but builds up nicely. I did three coats and my nail line is still only slightly visible but not enough for me to do a fourth coat. Effort on a Sunday? No thank you!

This color is a hot little mama!  So vibrant and bold, and about 2.5 seconds away from HAND MODEL! if you ask me.

Under the lamps:

Macros:

Price: $11

Linky loos:

Shop http://seventysevennaillacquer.com

Instagram http://www.instagram.com/77naillacquer

Facebook http://www.facebook.com/77naillacquer

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SASSY PANTS POLISH:  Anything But Blue in Hawaii


DESCRIPTION:  A vibrant blue jelly base with blue/green shifting shimmer and sprinkling of iridescent flakies

COATS:  Three thin coats as formula is pretty sheer, although it builds up well. Can get thick if you add too many coats, so go thin!

Mannnn, do I have a soft spot for jellies.  I want to swim in a huge bathtub full of this one.   The blue shade is bright and cheerful but very bold.  Who’s sticking their fingers in stranger’s faces and making them look at mah nails!  THIS LADY.  Clearly, I need supervised.

Under the lamps:

Macros:

Price: $11.50

Linky loos:

Shop http://www.sassypantspolish.com

Instagram http://www.instagram.com/sassypantspolish

Facebook http://www.facebook.com/sassypantspolish

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TOP SHELF LACQUER:  Flaming Sambuca Shots

DESCRIPTION:  A bluish black base with blue/purple/red shifting shimmer and multicolored shifting ultra chameleon chrome flakies

COATS:  Two, full of magic

The July Polish Pickup wouldn’t be proper without a Top Shelf polish in it.  Amy’s brand is all about the cocktails so naturally the universe done tipped sideways til we knew for sure:  TOP SHELF IS COMING, and now we can all breath again.  Thank God, too.  I was trying to be a trooper, but I can hold my breath for 17 seconds just fine until I’m told I HAVE to hold my breath for 17 seconds.

Aside from all that, though, flakies flakies everywhere, and in the cart she goes!

Under the lamps:

Macros:

Price:  $12

Linky loos:

Shop http://www.topshelflacquer.com

Instagram http://www.instagram.com/topshelflacquer

Facebook http://www.facebook.com/topshelflacquer

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LE POLISH:  The Bees Knees

DESCRIPTION:  A white crelly with purple and yellow microflakies and gold shimmer

COATS:  Three, although two probably looks just fine. I felt like maybe I could see a bit of sheerness at two, but I was also painting with one eye closed so what do I know really?

There are so many flakies in here, that the white base looks lavender to me.  Again, I was in the midst of a 9 hour swatch fest, so perhaps I was painting with BOTH eyes closed at this point.  Trust me, it’s happened before.  This mani is the result of a damn near miracle.

Under the lamps:

Macros:

Price: $10

Linky loos:

Shop http://www.lepolish.bigcartel.com

Instagram http://www.instagram.com/lepolish

Facebook http://www.facebook.com/lepolishnailpolish

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PRETTY JELLY:  Old Fashioned 

DESCRIPTION:  A burnt sienna jelly with holographic flakies and red/gold shimmer

COATS:  Two, extremely smooth and flowy

The fact the ice cream truck drove by at the exact moment I was using this and I somehow managed to not get up and run down the street in pajamas is a testament to the gloriousness of this polish.  It’s the color of sunlight through a glass of bourbon, so basically, NAILED IT doesn’t even begin to describe this scenario.

Under the lamps:

Macros:

Price: $10

Linky loos:

Shop http://prettyjelly.etsy.com

Instagram http://www.instagram.com/prettyjellynail

Facebook http://www.facebook.com/prettyjellynailpolish

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MY STUNNING NAILS:  Mint Julep

DESCRIPTION:  A pastel pearlized green base with a beautiful mix of powder and green, gold and silver hexagon glitters

COATS:  Two! This polish appeared to be thicker than it actually was, and it went on very smooth and easy.

Another new to me brand!  This one is a fun one, for sure.  I don’t think I’ve ever used a pearlized base before, and the finish of it is super cool. And although it has a different look to it, with top coat the surface dries completely glassy.   Well, and don’t even get me started on those tiny green glitters.  Cuz I could just sit here and love them for the next 37 years.

Under the lamps:

Macros:

Price: $9.95

Linky loos:

Shop http://mystunningnails.com

Instagram http://www.instagram.com/mystunningnails

Facebook http://www.facebook.com/mystunningnails

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MS SPARKLE:  Unicorn Frappe

DESCRIPTION:  A purple-ish neon red with blue shift, teal iridescent glitters, black iridescent microglitters, spectraflair, baby blue microshreds, aqua shreds and unicorn flakies

COATS:  Three.  Formula was thin and a little goes a long way, so be careful unless you feel like cleaning up your cuticles for nigh on eternity.

This little lady is BRIGHT.  My camera had issues and about just shrugged its shoulders and walked straight out of the room.  But we persevered y’all!  Or at least an attempt was made.  For real, I know I just won an award and everything, but if you’re handing out Starbucks to celebrate all the overachieve-y happening over here, I’m pretty sure that sounds about right.

But also: this polish is really beautiful.

Outside:

Macros:

Price: $11

Linky loos:

Shop http://www.mssparkleboutique.etsy.com

Instagram http://www.instagram.com/ms_sparkle_polish

Facebook http://www.facebook.com/ms.sparkle.polish

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Once again, the Polish Pickup shop opens Friday, July 7 at 11am EST and will stay open until Monday, July 10 at 1159pm EST.  You can click here for shopping, but you’re reading Parts 1 and 3 first.  Cuz by now you’ve invested some time, and quite honestly, it’s the right thing to do. 

Part 1

Part 3

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •