Tag Archives: indie polish

Oct24

Glam Polish: Gobblefunk Shimmers (LE)

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My husband suggested an idea for my own nail polish color. He said it shall be called No Pants Sunday, and that it would be a super pale nude or possibly a plain white. With freckles in it. I’m not sure if I should be offended, or pleased he’s speaking the language of my people.

Yes, I’m pale. Yes, I’m also super pale. All of that is true. And it’s not even the Irish Fair Maiden kind of pale. Unless you like the shade of chalk that’s been dipped in yogurt, then I’m not winning any hot bodies contests any time soon.

To be clear, though, it’s mostly my legs that are pale as they never ever see the sun. I am not a leg girl. Unless I’m headed out to the Fat Knee Convention, I keep my legs covered up. The rest of my exposed skin is more of a red, anxiety-flush version of pale. In other words, my husband loves me for my brains.

To protest No Pants Sunday (the polish, not actual no pants on Sunday, of which I am a super huge fan), I give you some gorgeous Glam Polish shades that are the exact opposites of nude.

This is one of their newest collections called the Gobblefunk Shimmers. Five spectacularly blingy shades celebrating the 100th birthday of one of the world’s best storytellers, author Roald Dahl. 

Let’s go! First up is Whoopsy-Splunkers:

Okay, stop. Did you just die? Cuz I sure did. What a glowy, gorgeous thing. They look like literal metallic foil on your nails. Glorious.

Here’s a shot taken under the lamps:

Squeeeee!  And we’re just getting started, so I’ll be a mushy pool of drool and goo by the end of this blog. 

The base on this shade is an indigo blueish purple that’s loaded with crimson color shifting glass fleck shimmer and holo flakes.  It’s such a cool mix!  Look at it up close:

Formula on this is to die for. Two easy and flawless coats. No effort required. If this polish was a person, it’d be my best friend.  We’d be so awesome at pajamas together. Throw in some Netflix and Doritos, and life = succeeded. Effortless, like I said.

Nail art alert!

These polishes make excellent bases for fun nail art. Here, I used some candy swirl vinyls I got from Lanika Vinyls and they are the best of this style I’ve ever used. See those clean lines? That’s not cuz I know what I’m doing, AT ALL, I can promise you that.

Next polish is Phiz-Whizzing:

The camera might’ve freaked out on this one cuz my fingers look so tan and lovely!  I mean, see the below picture for sad portrayal of actual life. Ugh. 

Ahhhh, there I am! Flushy and fleshy. Did I just break the internet? Probably so. 

Phiz-Whizzing is a teal jelly with gold and green color shifting glass fleck shimmer and holo flakes. First pic was taken in the light box and pulls more green, while the second one under the lamps pulls more teal. Either way, I’m in mad, passionate love. It’s the green of my dreams.

Again, two precious coats. 

I thought this was the perfect mermaid shade, so of course I did some cute mermaid nails:

Uber Chic Beauty just came out with a mermaid stamping plate, so what excellent timing!  However, don’t ask what I was attempting on my ring finger. Clearly, I don’t always know when to stop.  Stamp all the things!  That’s my motto. 

And now, Splitzwiggled:

Good gracious, I’m speechless.  How glowy and gorgeous is this? (Very.)

Under the lights, though:

I need at least 17 emojis to properly describe my love for this shade. It looks red in some lights, but it’s actually a magenta jelly full of gold glass fleck shimmer. What the hell is glass fleck shimmer? I dunno, but I want it all over my body.

Is that TMI? Not in this group!

Dead. 

Still dead. 

Then I did this wackadoodle nail art:

You see, I was trying to make strawberries laying in a field of green vines. In my head, this looked nothing short of an art piece. But in reality .. meh. Again, a prime example of how NOT to stamp all the things. Someone needs to take away my stamping plates. 

Just kidding. I will cut you. 

Ready for a jaw drop? Here’s Gloriumptious:

Okay, it’s getting serious now. You’re buying this entire collection. I’ve decided for you. 

Has there ever been a more splendid couple than fuchsia and blue? Besides Fritos and bean dip, the answer is NO.

Gah!

Went a little simpler with my nail art on this one. I bought the entire stamping plate inventory from this new company, Lina Nail Art Supplies, which means two things:

1.  Not stamping all the things is proving to be var var hard right now, and

2.  Someone needs more responsibilities, like an electric bill or something. Cuz, again, I BOUGHT THEIR ENTIRE INVENTORY. What is wrong with me? In my defense, though, I wanted every last one of them.

So here’s a design using their Make Your Mark 02 plate:

I love the contrast of the blingy fuchsia and the glossy black creme. I made a success of this one! Toot toot!

And lastly, we have Time-Twiddler:

Perhaps the most subdued of the bunch, but definitely not boring. This one might be a manifestation of me in polish form:  wearing pajamas, looking all chill, but still awesome AF cuz look at mah nails! Hair might not be combed, but dammit my hands belong in a magazine.

Ooooh, she pretty all glossy like that!

Color here is a deep violet – more royal purple than Whoopsy-Splunkers, the first polish I showed you. And those glass fleck shimmers –  purple, this time – are just so perfect. This polish looks like black light. Check it:

See what I mean? This one sets one heckuva mood. Sexy little thing.

Busted out some chevron vinyls that I got from Polished Vino not too long ago, and made this easy design:

Sometimes simple is best. 

The round up:

Holy moly, what a fabulous bunch of pretties. Guys, you have to get this collection. Every single one of them. They’re pretty. They’re shiny. They’re smooth and easy.  Two coats and done. Why are you still thinking about this?! Get on it, girlfriends!

Well, not til October 28 at 2pm EST that is. On that day, you can buy them here. Shipping to the US is quick and cheap cuz they have a supplier in Michigan just for us! They do ship to some other international locales, which you can check here.

So, what to do between now and October 28 then? Besides watch season 5 AND 6 of The Walking Dead before some asshole ruins season 7 before you ever get there, that is? Scroll my Instagram.  Duh.

Later, loves!

Oct23

Squishy Face Polish: Fall 2016 Indie Shop Exclusives

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Things I Learned While on Vacation #127:

Waiters at fancy restaurants don’t like it when you tell them their octopus you just ate tasted exactly like a chicken mcnugget.  I thought it was a compliment, because it was less weird than I expected it to be.  I had prayed to the Baby Jesus there’d be no tentacles on my plate, and to my vast, immense, limitless relief, there wasn’t any.  So the only other thing to hope for was that it tasted good.

I’ve had octopus before.  About 15 years ago I went on a boat tour in Mexico where the tour guide took us to some out-0f-the-way oceanside restaurant for lunch. Menu was extremely limited, and my traveling partner decided the “seafood platter” was the way to go.  Listen, I knew it was octopus, but it looked like a tator tot, so naturally I wanted it real bad.

Do you know how long it takes to chew one tator tot-sized piece of octopus?  AGES.  It was rubbery and gross and never got any smaller.  I gave up after roughly 17 years and swallowed the thing whole.  And been traumatized ever since.

Flash forward to 2016 where the only two options on the tasting menu was either octopus or beef tongue. Well, this is a disaster. No meatloaf at least?  Ugh.

Thankfully, however, this version was actually pretty good.  Granted, I didn’t want a whole bucket of it (I mean, it’s not actual chicken mcnuggets), but I could chew it with roughly 97.95768% success.  But when I tried to share my joy with our server, you could tell no one had ever compared his fancy octopus to something you could get at a drive-thru window for a dollar.  His response was less excitement and more a polite heh heh before turning to my husband asking how HIS meal was.  Where phrases like “good balance,” “complex flavor,” and “cleanse the palette” were thrown out all willy nilly.

Show off.

Guys, I got nail polishes!  (And therefore, I WIN.)

Alice from Squishy Face Polish sent me these two beauties.  Look:

Best. Macros. Ever.  Amiright?!

Alice created these two lovelies exclusively for the Fall 2016 Indie Shop event that’s being held in Torrance, California on November 5.  If you are already going, then LUCKY YOU.  If you haven’t decided yet, well the fence is no place for a lady.  In other words, you’re buying tickets in about 2.5 seconds.

The first polish is called Mon Cheri Petit:

If you purchased a VIP swag bag, then this little lady is alllll yours.  And because VIP tickets are all sold out now, there’s only about a million people jealous of you.  How nice does that feel?  It’s your prize for having the foresight to purchase your tickets early.  I suppose there’s some kind of life lesson in there  somewhere, isn’t there?  Early bird gets the worm and all that.  But unless there’s a 5am plane taking me on a tropical vacation, I’m not doing early anything.

Top photo was taken under the lamps so you can see the pink and gold shimmer.  This is truly a very pretty polish. Super girly, delicate, elegant.  The type of polish you wear when you want to drink cappucino out of a tiny cup.

Here’s a shot with a matte top coat:

Looks like satin, doesn’t it?  Or the dreamiest cotton candy you’ve ever seen.  Either way, you VIP girls are gonna love it.

And lastly, a macro:

I die!  Heart eyes everywhere.

Next is the polish created for anyone going to the event, even the people who just randomly walk into the event by accident.  She’s called Ville de L’amour, a dark and mysterious little lady:

Aaaaaah!  Dark polishes are my thang.  This one looks so amazing on the nail, especially on mine because it tends to distract from my super pale, almost see-thru skin.  And don’t get me started on the sausage fingers.  Blech.

This one is a black holo filled with lavender, crimson, turquoise, blue and purple shimmers.  I got opacity in two super easy coats.  It’s an effortless polish, perfect for lazy people like me.  Wanna paint your nails while taking a nap?  You could probably make that happen with this one.

For funsies, I mattified it:

And then I made this macro:

Oh my goodness, all those shimmers just get to me!  Not a basic black holo – this one is special.  And you need it.  If you live anywhere near California, getting yourself to The Indie Shop is your new top priority.

The round up:

So about this Indie Shop.  Here’s the info:

WHEN – November 5 from 10am to 3pm PDT

WHERE – Doubletree Hotel in Torrence, California

HOW – Aside from the VIP tickets that are now sold out, you can get an early entrance ticket for $7 or a general admission ticket for free as long as you bring a donation of new or gently used clothes and toys for local shelters.  Click here to buy tickets.  Do it!  Also, take me with you.

More links!

Indie Shop Facebook page – click here

Indie Shop Fan Group Facebook page – click here

Instagram – click here; you can see pics of the polish exclusives from the other attending brands as well

Alright, that was super thorough.  Who’s the best blogger?  (ME.) 

If you’re headed to the show, let me know in the comments below.  If you’re reading this in the future and you already went to the show, tell me what you got.  Also, follow me on Instagram because I’ve been writing this blog post for over two days now, and it’s the right thing to do.  Okay, thanks.

Later, loves!

Oct16

Night Owl Lacquer: Witchcraft & Wizardry Collection

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Current status:  sitting in a hotel room in Louisville, Kentucky.  Hubby is napping and I’m wearing no pants.  Clearly, I’ve made myself at home.

So yes, we decided to take a short little vacation this weekend.  We truly tortured ourselves to get here.  I had to wake up at 3:30 in the morning to catch our flight.  Imagined what that looked like, trying to get dressed while still under the covers, brushing my teeth with my eyes closed.  How I managed to walk out the door wearing two of the same shoes is beyond me.  But it’s what happened on the actual plane that was the most horrific.

People all around me doing normal plane-riding stuff:  reading books, playing video games, chatting with their seat neighbors.  Me, I’m laying my head on the window falling asleep with my mouth hanging open.  I know this cuz I kept waking up about 90 different times to close it.  The last time I did it, I woke up to the watchful eyes of the flight attendant.  How long was she standing there?  I mean, clearly I do not want a drink.  Ugh.

Anyone else out there an ugly plane-sleeper?  I do it just about everytime.  I’m surprised I haven’t ended up on someone’s Facebook like a People of Walmart or something.  That I know of anyway.

But you came here for the polish.  I received this awesome Harry Potter-inspired collection by Night Owl Lacquer called Witchcraft & Wizardry.  Look how pretty they all are:

Right?!  Such gorgeous colors.  Let’s do some close ups!

First one is called Always, a black jelly base packed with violet and iridescent rainbow flakies:

This polish was inspired by Snape and the general spirit of how he uses the word “always” in the book.  If you are a Harry Potter fan, you’ll know exactly what this means.  I haven’t read a Harry Potter book for about 10 years, so I am not a good source of info.  I am on book 5 out of the 7, so at this point NO ONE HAS DIED and maybe I just want to keep it that way.

Here’s a shot under the lamps:

You can really see the purple show up here.  At first glance, I thought the entire polish was purple, so it’s amazing how transforming flakies can be.

Mandatory macros!

Glorious!  Purple polish lovers, pay attention.

Next up is A.P.W.B.D., a polish inspired by Albus (something, something, something) Dumbledore.  Oh my gosh, I’m terrible at this.

Anyway, it’s a medium gray polish with lots of blue shimmer and blue flakies.  I think its the perfect representation of Dumbledore, with his long gray beard and all.  Probably full of glitter.  And cute baby field mice wearing little britches.  Possibly also some Dorito crumbs.

This was a true surprise for me.  I don’t normally prefer lighter polishes, but the blue shimmer just pulled me in.  

Now for something sexy.  We have What’s Fluffy Guarding?

Apparently, Fluffy is guarding the Sorcerer’s Stone because that’s what this polish is inspired by.  It’s a gorgeous deep red jelly with copper holo glitter and red micro flakies.  And I flippin love it.  There’s so much depth in here.  Jelly formulas are the best.  Heart eyes times a billion.

Ugh.  Can I just paint all the surfaces in my home with this?  Well, actually can someone just come do it for me? Cuz y’all know I aint getting off the couch unless there’s a Leonard DiCaprio holding a Starbucks in the other room or something.

So I thought this red was going to be my favorite, but then I picked up Goblins Love Gold.  It’s the best gold ever invented.  Look:

This one was inspired by Gringotts and is a bright shimmery gold with gold holo shreds and lots of gold holo glitters.  It’s gold overload.  A golden-palooza.  And it just glows no matter what lighting you’re in.  So magical and perfect.

Uhhhhhhhnnnnnnnn.  That’s the sound I make when my brain malfunctions.  This polish has got me loopy.

Check out these macros:

Eeeeep!  I told you.  So I’m thinking this one is my favorite now.  I think it’s pretty unique.  I mean, it’s a gold, but it’s a pretty special gold.  Let’s do all the surfaces in my house with this one now.  I may even consider helping you do it.

Just kidding.  I like pajamas.

Perhaps the most clever polish in the collection is this one, Snowy Owl:

It’s inspired by Hedwig and looks exactly like owl feathers. How did Lindsay do it? A little Harry Potter magic perhaps?

The polish itself is white but it’s loaded with a ton of gold shimmer. It’s really quite elegant. Throw in some gold and midnight flakies and you’re the belle of the ball. It’s so lovely!

Okay that bottle macro was ridiculous. If you somehow manage to walk away from this, your Harry Potter magic is going the wrong way. Also, something is wrong with your brain. 

Last one is Forbidden Forest:

A green! I’m so excited to see this one. Green always makes me happy. 

Inspired by the magic of the Forbidden Forest, it’s a deep shimmery green full of copper and gold holo glitter and gold holo shreds. I did this swatch in our airport hotel room so I’ve still got this polish on right now as we speak. And it’s held up really well. You know, with all the rock climbing and gold panning and trout fishing we’ve done since we got here.

Again, kidding. We took naps.

However, yes, I was the dork that carried in a light box and two LED lamps into a hotel lobby. See what I go through for you guys?  Now people think I’m some famous photographer working for Vogue or something, and ugh, so embarrassing. 

The round up:

Every single one of these polishes was a two coat dream. Application was simple, no fuss. My favorite kind!

And the best part? They’re available NOW. I tried to get this blog post written in time for the release two days ago, but vacation and all that (insert eye roll). However, I think it’s worked out well cuz now you don’t have to wait. You can click here and go shopping immediately.

Each polish sells for $9 but if you buy the whole set for $50 you save money and get free shipping (for US customers). And of course I recommend the entire set. I mean, you read this whole post right? You want all of them. (I checked; you do.)

Gonna go out and explore now (I guess). Can’t go on vacation and stay in your hotel the whole time, according to society who apparently doesn’t know me very well.

Later, loves!

Oct14

Blush Lacquers: October BLUSH Box and What’s Your Fantasy Polish

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I asked my husband when I could quit my job to stay home and paint my nails for a living and his answer was never.  So honestly, I’m not sure this relationship is going to work out.  I mean, come on, it’s the perfect situation!  He would never have to cook or clean again because I’d be home all day long making sure the housekeeper took care of everything.  And then I’d never embarrass him out in public because I would have the best hands, pointing at restaurant menus or picking out pastries in the Starbucks display case with a flashy fingertip.  It’s basically a win win.  He’d get a trophy wife and I’d get to stay in pajamas for 95% of my day.

Certainly there is a universe out there where this could happen.  Although I suppose by my working, I can continue to buy all the nail polish I want without getting the stink eye.  So there’s a trade off, I guess.

Fiiiiine.  I’ll go to work tomorrow.  FOR NOW.

Until all my dreams come true, though, I have nail stuff to show you!  Two products from Blush Lacquers that you will make you want to go ahead and work just one more day, too.  Let’s go!

Every month (give or take), Blush Lacquers offers a BLUSH box.  This particular one is a collaboration between Blush and two other makers.  Here’s what you get:

How about that polish?! It’s called Blackberry Wine and it looks exactly like it.  Like, Victoria is such a genius in how she gets polishes just right.  This is literally squashed grapes in a barrell.  But with less feet.

Other items include blackberry and sage bath fizzies from Clean Line Soap Company, a variety of water decals and wine-themed vinyls from Ribbits Stickits, and a little container of wine shaped glitters that Victoria picked up from her glitter supplier.  It’s all so cute as a button.  If you somehow manage to not buy this box, you need to take that show on the road cuz that’s some superhuman strength right there.

Let’s do a closer look:

See those baby wine glitters?  Precious!  Ugh.  I will warn you though – they will stick all over your body whether you like it or not, so be careful.  I liked to never have gotten them off this white cloth.  They might be made of static cling .. glue .. magnets …  It’s almost funny where you’ll find these later, stuck to your ladybits and whatnot.  In other words, use your tweezers and some common sense.

The black sheet of decals is the same as the silver sheet, just so you know.  My photography skills are not the most keen.  I’m trying, though.  I did buy flowers and rubber grapes just for these pics.  If I’m not careful, I’m going to own 800+ bottles of nail polish AND a spare bedroom full of photo props.  What can I say – when I obsess, I do it professionally.

Let’s focus on just the polish for a bit.  Here she is … Blackberry Wine:

So gorgeous.  Such a deep, deep grape-y purple.  There is a very subtle blue shimmer that you almost can’t see unless you walk around holding an LED lamp at all times.  Maybe you DO do that; I’m not judging.  I bend my tongue back so it sticks to itself, so now who’s the weirdo?

Below are two shots showing what the polish looks like normally, and then under the lamps:

And then of course, a macro.  I had to take this outside just to get the best shimmer action.  But totally worth it, even though I was forced to put pants on.

One more for good measure, just in case you aren’t sure.  Although I’m sure you’re sure.  You’re smart people.

Did you just die?  Cuz I sure did.

The following photos are attempts at me trying something different.  Plus, I paid $3.49 for those rubber grapes and I wasn’t letting that go to waste.  Enjoy!

Okay, that last one.  That is actual red wine.  In a mason jar with a straw.  And despite all that, I’m a super cool person.

Below is some nail art I did using the Ribbits Stickits water decals and wine-themed vinyls:

The purple stamping on my middle nail looks exactly like spilled wine.  Could’ve been clever if it wasn’t such an accident.  I was just looking for something to put in the background behind my wine glass sticker.  Sometimes I am even amazed by my own geniosity…geniusness…genie-something.  Well, you get it.

The other new release is the September What’s Your Fantasy Polish winner.  I present, Hook’d on Darling:

This is no joke stunning.  One of the best blues I’ve ever seen. So much prettier than an ordinary holo.  I just love it!  The vision belongs to @fiddlednails on Instagram, who was inspired by her daughter, and the lovely Victoria brought the whole thing to life.  

It’s a royal blue holographic with an amazing mint shimmer.  Looks just like the sea!  And when you get it under the lights … wowza!

See?  There’s no way you’re not putting this in the cart.  I can’t imagine even one scenario.

Below, another attempt at something creative.  Thank goodness I bought this scarf four years ago.  Cuz then what?!

The round up:

Both of these items debuted today, so make sure to prioritze your schedule.  In case you’re not clear, it should look like this:

1.  Click here to buy some Blush stuff

2.  There is no number two.

Later, loves!

Oct7

SwatchFest 2016: Glam Polish

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I just did 20 minutes of cardio trying to get a bee out of my car while scrolling Instagram on lunch break.  Ugh, what a horrid little surprise.  Y’all know my idea of exercise is having my husband go get me stuff while he is up and walking around.  So, having to use all my energy ducking and weaving in and out and around my car was just too much exertion for me.  I hope to God someone is on their way with a candy bar.  I really feel like I deserve one right now.

While we wait, we’ve got some polish to discuss.  I had the great honor of being a Guest Swatcher for Glam Polish recently, and they sent me 4 beautiful recent releases to share with you all.  And THEY. ARE. STUNNING.  In all capital letters cuz I’m serious.  You’ll see.

The first three all came from their Coven Collection, inspired by some famous witches.  Let’s start with Magica de Spell:

This one is inspired by the sorceress, Magica de Spell, from the Scrooge McDuck cartoons.  She is modeled after a Morticia Adams-type character, sexy and seductive.  I’d agree!  This is a gorgeous deep red-toned purple.  And what are those little silver specs?  Glitter?  Flakies? Magic?  I’d go with magic, because duh .. witches.

Photo taken in light box:

Ugh.  So pretty.  And the formula was amazing.  Two coats, ultra smooth, easy to control.  A literal dream.  In fact, if all polishes were made like this, I’d have an even worse problem than I do now.  So it’s probably a good thing, otherwise how will Starbucks happen?  I mean, I may have a house full of nail polish, but no money for Starbucks makes it hurt a little bit.  But just a little, let’s be clear.

Some macros:

I could probably end the blog right here with enough convincing evidence for you to buy some Glam Polish.  But do you have something more important to do, somewhere fancy to go?  No you do not.  You’re on your couch wearing no pants just like me.  Moving on.

Here’s Zelena:

Omg, there’s a green one.  A glorious, spectacular, delicious green.  Next level green.  Basically the most fabulous green of your life.  Get excited!

Zelena, inspired by the Wicked Witch of the West, and I’m seriously in love.  She literally glows.  Even in this photo inside the lightbox, which I took to reduce glare:

Stubborn little missy, she’s glowing anyway.  We like that sassy attitude.  You definitely need this one in your collection.   I can’t think of any reason why not.

Some macro porn:

I die!

Let’s seal the deal now.  I present Ms Eva Ernst:

Talk about sexy!  A gorgeous berry red.  The perfect vampy shade.

Ms Eva Ernst is inpsired by the Grand High Witch from the children’s book, The Witches, by Roald Dahl.  I’ve never read the book, but this polish makes me want to.  Polish makes me want to do lots of things, actually.  Here’s a list:

Number 1:  Sit in my nail room and organize my bottles first by brand, second by color.

Number 2:  Sit in my nail room and caress my bottles like they are precious little polish babies, which they ARE, clearly.

Number 3:  Sit in my nail room and stare at my bottles, most likely complete with idiotic smile and half closed eyes.

Oh my God, polish makes me a crazy person.  Well, that’s nothing new.

Again, two perfect coats.  Easiest, most effortless application.  You could apply this laying down wearing a big snowsuit a la Randy Parker from A Christmas Story who “can’t put his arms down“.  Is than an overexaggeration?

No it is not.

Okay, so now that we’ve decided you’re buying these three, let’s look at one last one for good measure:

This is Wheeeeee!:

This one is part of the Ready…Set…Go collection, inspired by Mario Kart.  How cute is that?  I checked, and there are 12 polishes in this collection, so if you’re diggin this style, the rest are pretty similar.  Different colors, of course.  But guaranteed to love.

I’ll admit, it looked scary in the bottle.  There was so much going on with its silvery glitter base and those pale aqua circles and stars that I thought for sure the formula would be thick, goopy, and hard to apply.  But NO.  It was easy peasy lemon squeezy and so pleasy.

Okay, I’ll stop.  Just go buy it, ok?  Two surprisingly amazing coats.  If that’s not enough, check out these macros:

I’m speechless, so I’m just gonna go now.  You know what to do anyway.  Click here to buy everything I’ve showed you, plus everything else they have in the store.  Glam Polish is made in Australia, but shipping to the US is very reasonable – like $3.80 for the first bottle then $1 each additional bottle.  They coordinate with their shipping agent in Michigan in order to make it speedier – you should get your order in less than a week.  Magic?  Yes.

If you aren’t in the US, they ship other places too.  Click here for more info!

Happy Friday everybody!  I’m polishing nails for the next 72 hours.  What about you?  Buying some Glam Polish?  That’s right.  You are.

Later, loves!

Oct3

Dainty Digits Polish: All the Leaves are Brown Collex

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It’s officially fall.  While everyone is out celebrating, wearing their Uggs and drinking their Pumpkin Spice Lattes, I’m over here checking AccuWeather every 5 minutes making sure the 90-degree days aren’t going anywhere any time soon. I don’t enjoy 90-degrees, but I don’t enjoy the lurking of winter even more.

That’s the thing about having fall and winter right up next to each other:  I can’t love fall like the rest of the world.  Much like I can’t appreciate a Sunday as it’s too close to Monday which means the weekend is over and I can’t have butterscotch schnapps in my coffee for 6 whole days.  So hard, you guys.  SO.  HARD.

Now that you are aware of my stance on fall, let me assure you that fall colors are another thing entirely.  They are all that is good in life.  Olive green, rusty orange, chocolate brown, mustard yellow.  They are comfy, cozy, happy shades, and I want them everywhere.  I’m all for a pretty pastel or a fun, bright neon, but earth toned fall classics … UGH.  They got me good.

Here is one of the best fall palettes you will ever see.  It’s the All the Leaves are Brown collection by Dainty Digits Polish.  Look:

Are these not fall foliage in a bottle?!  I can’t get over how absolutely stunning these are.  Every single one: lovely.  If I didn’t already own them, I’d be buying them in a heartbeat.  I’m in too much awe to be clever right now, so let’s just get into the close-ups shall we?

First is called Jump in the Pile!:

My mouth is seriously hanging wide open.  This is the first one I swatched, and it left me literally speechless.  Unless you count incoherent throat noises as actual speech.  This is a gorgeous coppery red.  Goes on in one smooth coat, although you might want to do two just to straighten out the brush strokes.  They pretty much disappear once the polish dries, but until then you may have an attack of the OCDs.  I did.

Next we have some gorgeous shimmery metals. At first I was going to line them up in order of how you’d win a medal in a competition, but then I realized they don’t make a copper medal (just a stupid silver one) so now bahhhh! blog ruined.

Here’s Fall-oh My Lead – the bronze one. An actual medal color:

Oooooh, so lovely! This went on in virtually one coat. That’s what I think I love best about this collection – the saturation of color and how rich and luxurious they are.  It’s for campfires and red carpets and everything in between. Like holding lattes and looking super cute in scarves.  Which is my forte cuz campfires?! No, that’s outside activities, which require pants. However, I might do a red carpet if there was a Leonardo DiCaprio at the end of it.

Next is North of the Fall, a gold medal metal:

This one is fancy! As if you dipped your fingertips in a vat of liquid gold. Which would never happen in real life, but if it did, it’d look exactly like this.  Pretty sure.  I dunno. But it’s almost a one coater, which is all you really need to know anyway.

Last of the metals is the copper one, Tripping Colors. Also known as, The Real Silver Medal, had someone consulted me first:

For real, who wants a silver medal when a copper one is so much prettier?  Think of all the skintones that would benefit from this switch (i.e., all of them).  I did three coats on this since it had a thinner consistency, but now the polish has been reformulated to guarantee two coats or less.  Which means, LAZY PEOPLE REJOICE and hooray, you win! (A medal! Har har har!)

Shut up, Brain. 

Then we’ve got two cremes. First one is Autumn My League:

Aside from the fact this looks just like chocolate, and I could really use a Kit Kat right about now, there is something really special about this polish.  At first glance, it looks like a creme.  But once it’s on the nail, there is this teeny tiny subtle amount of shimmer in it that is utterly captivating.  I couldn’t capture it enough in the photo, so I guess you’re just gonna have to buy this collection and see for yourself.

Ohhhhh wellllll!

But seriously, buy this collection.  Thanks.

The other “creme” is Orange You Happy?!:

Gah.  Pretty, right?  Same formula here, with the tiniest amount of shimmer.  Both of them are pretty much one coaters, possibly two coats for some, but the color is ultra rich and looks like silk.  These two were surprise favorites – I knew I’d love them because of their color (hello, chocolate and butterscotch!), but that sheen solidifies everything.  Not tasty, but delicious all the same.

Also, there’s a high possibility that’s a Funyun crumb stuck to the side of my bottle.

Wanna see something ridiculous?  Here’s Equinox:

RIGHT?!  There are no words for how gorgeous this color is.  It’s a grey to red duo chrome, and it’s my favorite.  If you need one reason to buy this collection (other than the other reasons I’ve already given you), it’s this polish right here.  It’s all the happy words poured in a bottle.  One to two coats of absolute perfection.  If you are not convinced how much you need this polish, you may want to consult a physician about the problem with your brain.

Included with your order is a mini bottle of this fun glitter topper called Seasonal Transitions:

I’m not an expert with glitter toppers.  I’ll spend 17 hours perfecting my random glitter placement technique, which negates the definition of random by about 97.47665%.  There’s a math problem in there somewhere for you, if you are so inclined.  I, on the other hand, will be over here combing the fringe on my rug for the 90th time today.

So I did three different versions for you.  On my top two fingers, I did a glitter gradient by using one of those old school eyeshadow applicators to pat on the glitter in my version of a haphazard way.  Ring finger is a couple of sponged on coats to get a more opaque look.  Then my pinky is one brushed on coat.  I hope you like it cuz I was at this for approximately lightyears.

The round up:

Every single one of these is wonderful.  Formulas were excellent, both in application and saturation of color.  Plus, in addition to the free mini topper, you get a Kuticle Kandee in the scent Punkin Pie.  How much more fall can you get?  I can’t think of any reason why you aren’t buying this.  It’s available right now in NeNe’s shop, so what are you waiting for?  The fence is no place for a lady.  Get on it!

Later, loves!

Sep29

Blush Lacquers: October COTM

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Ugh. I went to get my pants hemmed today and caught a full on view of my butt and omg I’m gonna go home and cry now. You can never see your own butt like how the public sees it, but the tailor was nice enough to have mirrors all over the place.  So with joyfulness overflowing, I’m putting the memory in a box and shipping it straight to hell, and writing this blog post for my nailie friends because my butt may be bigger than I thought it was, but I am a DANG PROFESSIONAL who soldiers on.

Was that a run-on sentence?  Probably.

I’ve got a quick little review for you today.  Blush Lacquers sent me their October Color of the Month, and she is a beauty!  Take a look:

Okay, that was dorky.  Obviously, I was having Fun With Fonts!  And if you imagined I said that with a rousing display of jazz hands, you would be correct.

Now your turn for jazz hands:

Did you do it?  It’d be hard not to.  This polish is called Campfire Crush, and it makes me giddy with excitement.  Look at that ridiculous shift in color.  Can you even?  No. You. Cannot.

Base is a smoky grey with an amazing copper to pink shimmer and gold micro flakies.  Victoria, Blush’s creator, said this color reminded her of glitter thrown on a pile of ashes.  I’d say she nailed, wouldn’t you?    She’s so good.

Here is a shot taken in the light box:

Towards the bottom of the bottle you can really see that grey base, but on the nail it pulls more copper and gold.  It truly is an interesting shade.  I’m not much of an outdoorsy type, but a campfire like this one would have me reconsidering.  Granted, I’d still be in pajamas drinking a Starbucks laying on a couch, but I’d be outside and that’s what matters.

Under the lamps:

Good gracious.  Is this not a perfect fall color?  It’s absolutely dreamy.

That’s it:  you’re getting this.  I’ve decided for you.

Mmmmm, flakies!  Are they not the very best nail polish invention in the entire world?  Flakie all the things, please and thank you.  I would not hate that one bit.

Coverage on this polish was as excellent as all the others. Two coats for full coverage, or three if you’re a crazy person.  Obviously, I did three.  

The round up:

The October Color of the Month debuts today – right now, in fact – in the Blush Lacquer store.  Go! Go now!  Also, while you are there, pick up the new 4-piece Penny Dreadful collection that also released today.  I don’t have swatches of those to share, but sometimes y’all just have to do your own research.  I may be a professional, but I also like to sit at home and do nothing.  Sometimes with the tv on.  But always, always, without pants.

TMI?  Not in this blog!  Later, loves!

Sep28

Pretty & Polished: All Holos Eve Trio

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Hubby goes on a business trip, and suddenly I forget how to do life.  I’m not even going to lie and pretend I’m some 21st century woman, independent and single and proud of it.  I mean, sure, I can be a feminist when it comes to certain things, but honestly, I like having someone to share my burdens with and do things for me when I’m too lazy to do them myself.

For real, cuz who’s gonna give me a sponge bath in bed when I forget to rinse the soap off my back from the night before?  And how does the granola bar get from the cabinet to my purse in the mornings if my husband isn’t home?  These are real life issues, people.  You think voting for a new president is hard – just try being me for four days while my husband is out of town.

I’m virtually directionless.

So I’ve tried to be productive while he’s been gone.  Granted, I’m getting zero coffee made for me every morning, but I’m functioning (somehow) nonetheless.  Proud to say I did a sink full of dishes without being asked 14 times.  I did two loads of my own laundry instead of just going out and buying new underwear like a normal person.  AND, I had the foresight to ask hubby to make me a casserole I could eat for four days straight, so I’ve successfully combatted starvation.  I’m feeling very 21st century right about now.

Gimme a couple days; I’ll be back to normal soon.  Let’s talk polish!

I received the Pretty & Polished All Holos Eve trio to show off.  Three awesome holographics just in time for Halloween:

Told ya.

First one up is this most amazing purple called Hail to the Queen, Baby!

I love the way it looks inside the lightbox without any holographic sparkling.  You can see the truest version of the color, which is a very lovely shade.  But I know how much y’all love your holos, so I took a shot under the lamps just for you:

Bling bling!  And then one outside just for funsies:

This polish was an awesome two coater.  Very smooth application.  I mean, pretty much perfect in every way.  Would make an awesome base for some really cool Halloween nail art.  Of which I have none to show you.  I did not plan that out very well.

Have I mentioned I can’t function properly when hubby is out of town?  Enjoy this macro anyway …

And of course, Halloween wouldn’t be Halloween without an ultra black holo.  Here is She’ll Tear Your Soul Apart:

Someone’s sexy!  Don’t you just love that gloss?  So shiny.  Always looks so nice on my pale, pale hands.  And my chubby fingers.  Black is slimming, and no doubt I’m about 2.7 seconds away from HAND MODEL! with this manicure.

Under the lamps, it’s even better:

And then an outside shot for good measure:

You must be thoroughly convinced by now.  But just in case, here’s the macro:

Two coats on this one as well.  Almost a one coat.  Maybe even could have been for some people.  But I always do two coats out of habit and pure therapeutic enjoyment.  Polishing relaxes me.  When I get a one coater, it’s almost a sad thing.  However, I’m also the weirdo who won’t eat the deformed M&M because it’s probably poison.  So don’t mind me – I’m just strange.  Do one coat; revel in your normalcy.

Finally, my favorite:  The Night She Came Home

She’s ORANGE!  I loooooove orange.  Especially orange in the fall.  It makes me so happy just to look at it.  I swoon!  Do you have colors that do that to you?  All fall colors get me weak in the knees.  Green is my all time, year round favorite, but when fall gets a hold of it, someone needs to push me around in a little buggy or something because I can no longer handle myself.  Aside from all that, though, fall is too close to winter so I no likee.

But back to this orange – it’s kind of a jelly consistency and has these amazing black flecks in it.  Look at her under the lamps:

You see?!  I live for polishes like this.  I’d paint this all over my body if there wasn’t an HR Department really close to my office.  Pretty sure the handbook mentions a dress code that does not include full body glitter.

Hmmpfh.

Here’s an outside shot:

I’m literally losing concentration here.  I’ve been voodooed.  If you need one reason to purchase this trio, this orange polish is IT.  It’s mesmerizing.

Uhhhhnnnnnnn.

Also, there may be a fair amount of drool happening.  I look like a mess.  Good thing hubby’s not here.  Even he might have to disagree when I yell STILL SEXY, THOUGH! with slobber hanging out of my mouth.  And he’s seen me let the fat out of my pants after pasta countless of times, and still managed to stay married to me.

The round up:

That took 17 hours to put together.  Don’t look too close.  Just step back from your computer and admire from afar.

Head on over to the Pretty & Polished site and place your order for this trio.  DO EEEEEET.  Except not until October 1 cuz they’re not available yet.  These will be on sale all the way until October 31, so you have a month to get your priorities straight, but no sense in procrastinating is my motto.

Just kidding.  Procrastinating + Me = BEST FRANS.

Also, I have a discount code you can use on your order!  What more evidence of a wise decision do you need?!  Works for anything in the store.  Put in code dianna15 and get 15% off.  Then follow me on Instagram because this friendship is reciprocal whether you like it or not.

Later, loves!

Sep25

Lucky 13 Lacquer: Once Upon a Dream Duo (plus extras)

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I don’t even know how it happened.  I was minding my own business – doing nails, obviously – and somehow suddenly found myself in the Men’s section in Macy’s shopping for shorts with my husband.  Did I agree to this?  Was I so involved in what I was doing that I accidentally okayed to hang out amongst the khakis and the polos for nigh on no telling how long?

I do not like shopping.  I may be the only female on the planet to ever say this, but I just don’t.  Who wants to put clothes on just to go roam aimlessly around a shopping mall, surrounded by a crowd of strangers, trying on outfits in the dressing room that a) look better on the rack and b) make you feel bad about yourself?  It’s always that way when when I’m shopping.  I have one of those bodies that look good in about 27% of the things I want to wear.  So shopping, for me, is always a self-esteem meltdown waiting to happen.

However, this time around it was for my husband who was needing clothes for a business trip.  I don’t like this kind of shopping much better.  Did you know they sell zero nail polish in the men’s clothing department?  I know!  It’s so rude.

The only thing good that came about from this trip was a message from Anya with Lucky 13 Lacquer, asking if I’d like to review a few of their polishes.  Ummm, is this Silly Question Day?  Of course I would.

Here is Once Upon a Dream:

Welp, I’m in love.  How gorgeous is this powder blue?  (Very.)  It’s delicate and elegant and all things princess-y.  See that pink shift?  Ugh.  I bet she looks fabulous in all the dressing rooms.  No self-esteem issue here.

But then, there’s holo:

That’s not even in focus, and she still looks pretty dang good.  According to Anya, this polish was inspired by Sleeping Beauty’s dress, caught in the middle of a faerie fight.  I don’t even know what a faerie fight even is, but I’m about 97.947684%  sure I want one.  

Check out this macro:

My eyes!  My eyes!  Too much prettiness in one place.  This polish was a smooooooth two coat perfect little sweetheart.  And I love her.

There’s a gold shift in there too, which makes it even better.  How can we top this?  Is it even possible?

Barely, but yes.  Here’s No Such Thing as True Love:

Less delicate and a billion times more fierce.  Loving this dark plum holo and that amazing green/purple shift.  I’ve always been drawn to darker polishes, so naturally it’s my favorite of the two.  But there’s something more to it than that.  She’s rebellious.  A little dangerous.  Kinda naughty.

You know, my complete opposite.  Unless you count the fact I can make one wine cooler last over 3 hours, then I’d say I won’t be winning any bad girl contests anytime soon.  But this polish makes me feel like I could.

Under the lamps:

Anya was inspired by Maleficent on this one, and I’d say she nailed it.  She’s minxy and magical.  And a bit of a B.

Let’s take a moment for some close-ups:

  

A perfect two coat formula on this one as well.  It’s truly stunning.  You NEED.  That’s not an exaggeration.  Food, water and these two polishes.  Then you’ve officially succeeded at life.

Okay, and maybe some Netflix.  But then after that, you’re all set.

Both of these polishes make up the Once Upon a Dream duo.  You want one, you get the other as well.  That way, there’s no hard decision to make.  I love that!  I don’t enjoy making choices sometimes.  I need other people to do it for me.  Or you end up with over 800+ nail polish bottles.  Decision making (otherwise known as practical constraint) goes out the window with me.  On the other hand, if I leave it up to my husband to help me decide, he’d be like Don’t you already have a purple polish?  And a pink one? A red one?  Well of course I do.  BUT THAT IS NOT THE POINT.

Forget it.  I’ll do my own decision making from now on.  He’s zero fun.

I also received a couple of necessities.  Their Elemental Ward quick dry top coat and the Pop & Peel temporary base coat.

I used the top coat in all of my swatches here, and it’s a nice one.  Definitely dries to the touch in under a minute or so and is very glossy.  So happy to have it!  Couldn’t tell you how it stands up to peeling, tip wear and chips cuz as a bonafide crazy person, I polish my nails like 18 times a day.

As for the Pop & Peel, I loved it!  I use a peel off base coat with every single mani, even the basic manis where I’ve only used a creme polish, no glitter.  I am lazy and refuse to remove nail polish with remover and a cotton ball.  Too much effort involved.  Plus, how will I ever entertain myself on my commute home from work if I can’t peel off my nail polish while I’m supposed to have my hands on the steering wheel?

The instructions for this one is to soak your hands in really hot water for 30 seconds, then peel the polish off with an orange stick under the water.  Those instructions are most likely there for a reason of which I have not yet discovered since I didn’t read them until after I peeled my polish off the old fashioned way with my fingers.  Still worked though.  I’m either a genius or incredibly stupid, but regardless, toots for me!

Last polish I received was a new addition to their Lucky Ladies core collection.  It’s this most amazing neon green called Pretty Like Poison:

As you can see, it’s not your average neon.  It’s loaded with these awesome silver shards that I never knew I needed (but I did!).  They’re so dang cool!  Definitely adds another level to how much I love this shade.  They’re distracting but in a good way.  Unless your boss is trying to talk to you, or maybe you are trying to give a speech to the members of Congress or something.  In that case, it might be best to reserve use of this polish on days when no one plans to talk to you, or when you are wearing pajamas for 16 hours straight, even to Starbucks.  

I just love how those shards catch the light.  You see what I mean by distracting?  You forgot you were reading this blog, didn’t you?  Cuz I forgot I was even writing it.

The round up:

Both the Once Upon a Dream duo and the Lucky Ladies addition will be available at Lucky 13 Lacquers tomorrow so make sure you put it on your to-do list.  Remember, food, water and these polishes.  And Netflix.  Okay, Starbucks too.  Hell, it’ll be Monday.  Get you a Leonardo DiCaprio while you’re at it.  Treat yourself.  You deserve it.

Later, loves.

Sep21

Octopus Party Nail Lacquer: Fall 2016 Part 2

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I just figured out what marriage is for.

You know how there are times when you are taking a bath, shaving and exfoliating and whatnot, then you lay in there for about an hour falling asleep and watching YouTube videos?

Well, sometimes you wake up and forget where you left off, so you just get out and end up going to bed with soap still on your back.  Only to discover it the next morning with zero minutes extra time to spare to do anything substantial about it.

Needless to say, I got my very first sponge bath.  Hubby kind of gave me a tiny stink eye when I said I needed a washcloth.  And that he needed to get it really hot and rub it all over my back.  And that he needed to do it while I was still sitting in bed because it’s cold out there.  I’m not sure he enjoyed any bit of any of it, but because we are married, that’s the answer to everything that I don’t want to take care of myself.

Like bug killing.  Lawn mowing.  Making me a sandwich.  Doesn’t he know this by now?

While he contemplates, let me tell you about nail polish!  I received more fall polishes from Octopus Party Nail Lacquer, Fall 2016 Part 2 to be exact.  There are four holo beauties made exclusively for Ella Ann Cosmetics, and will go on presale September 24.  Let’s look!

First is called Prey For Me:

Welp, I’m dead.  Dead and hungry for some chocolate.  Do you see that luscious brown?  Another of my favorite fall colors.  Actually, it’s one of my favorite colors ever.  I’m sure there’s a color-code personality test out there having a field day with that.

Under the lamps:

Do you see that holo?  Do you see how pale I am?  Ugh.

Perfect two coat coverage.  Smooth application.  Looks delicious.  I can’t think of any reason why you haven’t bought this polish.  Except for the fact it’s not available yet.  But that point is moot.

Yep, you’re sucked in now.  I’ve officially won the day.  I’m gonna go ahead and get back in pajamas now.

Now here’s Hocus Focus:

Is it blue?  Is it purple?  It’s both.  This one has a mostly blue base but that flash of purple can be seen at all angles.  Lots of pretty holo.  For real, you guys.  You’ll love this one.  Even if brown is your favorite color.

Again, two coats of perfection.  A real pleasure to apply.  And that’s not just me being dorky.  (Okay, maybe a little.)

You can see the purple flash in this macro really good:

She’s lovely!  Also, I’m mesmerized by my own cuticles.  I can’t draw a stick in a straight line, but I dare you to tell me that cuticle line isn’t on point.  Not meaning to toot my own horn, but give me something here.  I got hit in the face with a basketball in sixth grade, so I’ve sat down the rest of my life since.  I need to claim my special skills somewhere.  OCD helps.

Next up is the steely gray beauty, Suffocation:

There’s a slight hint of purple in this one too.  It goes on a bit purple-y taupe-y mauve-y gray-y, which is probably the most amazing display of color description you’ve ever seen.  Well, I am a professional, so …

Just put a -y on the end of everything.  Nobody argues with that kind of logic.  Try it. After you finish with the -ying of all the words, you’ve confused everyone anyway.  They’ll just agree to get you to move on.  It’s pretty-y with a bit of ugly-y, homely-y beautiful-y.  Yep, no one knows what it truly is now.

SHUT UP, BRAIN.

Here’s some holo:

Looks mostly gray under the lights.  Or silver-y.

There’s that bit of purple!  She likes to hide, but she’s in there I promise.  And not that I need to mention it again (but I will in case you’ve skipped the entire beginning of this post for some [stupid] reason), but this is two dreamy coats.  And I love her.  I love her so much.

Last but not least is Butch Gardens:

If that brown one wasn’t in this collection, this teal green would be my favorite.  It’s just such a pretty color.  I thought it looked really nice on the nail, kinda classy despite not being a “traditional” office-y (!) shade.

But honestly, are there office-y shades anymore anyway?  Nail polish just isn’t nude and pink like they used to be.  And thank goodness too.  I do not look classy in nudes.  I look like girl needs a dang vitamin.  Some electrolytes.  Somethin’.

I love the holo on this color:

You better be setting an alarm right about now.  Because if you miss this pre-sale, you will be the saddest most disappointed person in the whole world.  And that’s probably not even an exaggeration because everyone knows there is UTTER HAPPINESS found in these teeny tiny jars.

Well, nail girls know.

Ugh.  Do you see?!  My heart is full.

The round up:

Goodness, those are pretty!  Each one of these polishes applied fully in two coats.  And then I had to physically tear myself away from them because I could’ve sat there all day adding another layer, another layer, another layer .. I was almost in full-fledged crazy mode, but I (somehow) managed to reign it in.

Be sure to stop by Ella Ann Cosmetics this Saturday, September 24 to place your pre-order.  If you find yourself with an effed up priority list and can’t make it Saturday for some reason, the pre-sale will be open until October 1.  Then you can sit back, relax, and wait for your pretties.

Later, loves!