Monthly Archives: February 2017

Sugar Flor Polish: Spring 2017 Collection 

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Some tips for married couples:

1.  It is best to apply your medicated dry skin leg lotion in private.  I mean, there is not a fine line between sexily putting on lotion from, let’s say, Victoria’s Secret – one that smells like cherry blossoms or vanilla musk – and putting on your Gold Bond that smells like the inside of your grandma’s purse.  NO.  That line is very thickly drawn with a king size neon yellow highlighter with like glitter and red warning lights.  DO NOT CROSS THAT LINE.  Don’t do it.  I’m serious.  There’s a next anniversary gift of quite possibly some jewelry or a vacation at stake.  And hiking your leg up on the coffee table in full view of everyone is not helping matters AT ALL.  In fact, if it smells like mentholatum, the answer is always no.

2.  Keep all large underwear hidden at all times.  Including but not limited to the Fruit of the Loom breathable ones that fit so comfortably right above your belly button, the ones that require the use of a very long shirt in order to cover up the fact  they are taller than your actual pants, and the ones with the front stretchy panel that helps hold your fat in.  Your spouse does not need to know you haven’t touched that useless wad of pre-marriage lacy thongs in ages. Cuz nothing is sexier than having an air of mystery about you.  And hiding your actual underwear in a box under the bed makes complete and logical sense.

Marriage is hard, people.  Appearances are important.  We can’t be 42 and look 42 at the same time.  Something about science and whatnot.  If we have to lock ourselves in the bathroom to cover our bodies in old lady lotion and underwear the size of China, well that is our price to pay, and we happily pay it cuz we are Sex Goddesses as far as everyone else is concerned.  Constant uniform of pajamas and fluffy pink robe, notwithstanding.

Now if we can continue our quest of somehow NOT buying a fanny pack or like those straps to keep your eyeglasses attached to your face, I think it’s smooth sailing from here on out.  Pretty sure, anyway.

Let’s talk about nail polish!  Miss Freda from Sugar Flor Polish reached out to me a few weeks ago asking if I’d like to review her new spring collection.  Sugar Flor is a relatively new brand (only one prior collection) so I jumped at the opportunity to spread the word.  And thankfully so.  Look at these beauties:

OMG, have you ever?!  NO. YOU. HAVE. NOT.

This collection is a set of five glitter crellies inspired by Greek mythology.  The color palette and color combos are absolutely 100% spring.  Feel like closing your eyes and smiling to yourself like an idiot?  Then you’re gonna want each and every one of these.  Just wait; you’ll see.

First up is Persephone:

Persephone is the Goddess of the springtime, flowers and vegetation, so NAILED IT doesn’t even begin to describe this scenario.  The pink crelly base couldn’t be more perfect, and those darker pink and green glitters have the words yes, please written all over them.  (Seriously, I checked.)   Looks delicate, but covers really well in practically one coat, although two was required to smooth everything out.

Now, imagine this polish on someone whose fingers are slightly less sausage-y …

I know, right?!  In the basket it goes!

Grab your smelling salts and then look at these ridiculous macros:

You done died.  You did.

Now FOCUS.  I nail arted:

No matter how you may feel about this design, let me tell you how much more I love it versus the first design I did.  Ugh.  GUYS.  That one was so bad I couldn’t even bring myself to post it, even though I post nail fails about 97.857696% of the time anyway.  So for that reason alone, this floral thing here is a dadgum masterpiece and we shall treat her as such.  Plus I did gradient stamping, which means I get a half-hearted toot! on the old horn, MINIMUM.

Used the Lina 4 Seasons-Summer 01 plate for the leaves and the 4 Seasons-Spring 01 plate for the flowers in case a recreation is in order.

Next up is Artemis:

Artemis is the Goddess of the hunt, forest and hills, which is quite an impressive resume considering I lay on couches, and not in a sexy way.  She is often depicted with a bow and arrow; I on the other hand might wield perhaps a small twig to do some mild poking and whatnot.   I dunno.  It’s not my expertise.  I assume mild poking woudn’t get much accomplished anyway.  I could bore something to death with like a rousing game of Spelling Bee maybe.  Or I could read part of my blog out loud.  That might work.

So this one has a mid-toned purple crelly base loaded with green, gold and dark purple glitter.  Purple and green is one of my favorite color combos, so naturally I loved this.  Two easy coats, which I may love even more.

Time for drooling!

More mediocre nail art:

Well, I don’t hate it soooo … there’s that.  Clearly you can tell I just started stamping all the things like you’ve told me not to do.  I’m surprised there’s not like 18,000 more things on there.  I managed to reel it in somehow, quite possibly by sheer superhuman sized willpower.  Orrrrr, maybe hubby interrupted me by handing me a sandwich.  Either way, THANK GOODNESS, is what I’m saying.

Used the Lina Feeling Shapely 07 for the gold pattern and the 4 Seasons-Spring 01 plate for the flowers, if you’re curious.

Now here’s Demeter:


Demeter is Goddess of agriculture, fertility and harvest, but I’m sorry, what is your question?  Cuz GREEN.  Glorious, beautiful, mind altering green.  Demeter may the Goddess of something, something, something, but that point is useless at the moment.  As soon as I get control of my brain, then we’ll see.

So this one has a lovely dark olive green crelly base with a spectacular pink and dark green glitter mix.  I find this color strangely soothing.  It’s an uncommon shade, and that’s what I love the most.  It’s special.  Rare.  Surprising, even.  Perfect for a spring collection, if you ask me.  I’ll take a hundred more bottles, you know, in case there’s a painting-all-the-surfaces situation spontaneously happening while hubby is holding the remote control and NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO HIS WIFE, for chrissake.  I’ll be honest:  I need monitored from time to time.

More macros, more drool:

Oddly cute nail art:

I don’t know why I felt like doing that plastic pink bow, but I actually think it looks kinda cute.  Not appropriate for any occasion at all whatsoever, but good enough for a 15 second photo at least.  Cuz while I’m rarely putting my hands in pockets, the second the option is taken away is the same second when I suddenly need to do it.   If you’ve got charms on, there is no pocket option for you.  The pocket option is moot.

However, feel free to polka-dot for nigh on eternity.  I used the Lina Feeling Shapely 02 plate for that.

And now, Athena:

Athena is Goddess of wisdom, craft and war.  She is known for her calm temperament, and would not fight without a just reason.  SAME AS ME!  I mean, I only slapped that girl in the ear right after she slapped me first.  However, “in the ear” was my own personal spin on it.  Being only 11 years old (and Spelling Bee Champion Extraordinaire) doesn’t bode well for fightin’ cred.  The ear made sense at the time.

Here we have a pale pink crelly base with pink, gold, and light green glitter.  In my photos and in real life, the pale pink pulled more beige on me, which still worked out just fine.  I love the dainty look of this one!

Will the drool ever end?!

NO.  Moving on.

A pastel EXTRAVAGANZA!

There are times like this one where I wished my nails were a mile long.  The grungy butterfly image from the Lina Make Your Mark 01 plate is such a cool one, although sadly only about a half inch can be seen.  I hope y’all see butterflies when you see these nails, and not just some random blobs of polish.  On the bright side, more gradient stamping, which means who am I and what have I become?  A gradient stamper MASTER, clearly.

Lastly, this is Naiad:

Naiads are a type of female spirit presiding over fresh water fountains, wells, springs, streams and brooks.  Why are they presiding, you ask?  I dunno.  Tanning.  Scoping out boys.  Looking cute in bikinis, maybe.  I mean, I would if I had a choice.  Especially the tanning part, of which never happens to me at any given time whatsoever.  First of all, my body refuses to cooperate.  It does either see-thru white or lobster red.  Nothing in between.  If I want golden bronze legs, then I’m gonna have to spray them on, and even then they’re most likely of the orange streaky variety.  Especially when you’re 13 and forced to be at an amusement park with all your 8th grade classmates.    Orange and streaky was the only way for that scenario to end up.  Thanks, Universe!

But also, tanning requires going outside, and going outside requires pants, so at this point I’m just gonna have to pass.  Cuz society frowns on pants-less outdoor escapades.  SOCIETY is very judgy.

So this one is described as a dark aqua base with silver, turquoise and light purple glitter.  There are times, however, like in the macro below, where indirect lighting resulted in less aqua more slate grey/green.  Like a dirty aqua, I guess.  Either way, though, I lub it lots.

My favorite nail art:

The simplest one ends up being the best one.  Of course that makes sense.  All the gradienting, plastic bow gluing, stamping all the things things, and the one that took less than 3 minutes to put together is the winner.  I need to stop forgetting that, cuz I can stress over nail art like someone just told me baby kittens might die if I do something ugly.  That’s literally the perfect explanation for my emotional state at the time.  It’s dire.  Seriously.

Used the Lina 4 Seasons-Spring 01 plate for this design, and I accept recreations, kudos and accolades, you know, if you’re all not busy.

The round up:

Who’s ready for spring now?  These are the perfect polishes to get you in the mood.  Although if you’re like me, you’ve been dying for spring since last September 21.  Me and cold weather do not  get along.  I need sunshine and green grass and at minimum 70-degrees.  Maybe one or two 60-degree days just so I can wear a cute jacket and some Uggs and hold a latte.  But after that, 70s and up for eternity.  That’s not asking for much, is it?  IS IT?!?!  (No.)

This collection releases March 1 at 9am PST (or noon EST) so be sure to set at least 17 alarms to be safe.  Click here to shop!  Then wait impatiently and stalk the mailman like a proper nail addict.  It’s the most logical next step.

Later, loves!

Octopus Party Nail Lacquer: Spring 2017

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The hem came out of a pair of my pants the other day and so now I either have to staple them back together or throw them away.  Cuz the last time I went to a seamstress there were too many mirrors in there where I was forced to see my own butt, and I really don’t feel like crying again for the next 37 years.

In other words, my weight loss journey isn’t going so well.  As a matter of fact, it hasn’t even left the house yet.  Which makes sense considering I don’t go outside unless someone is paying me to do it.  Or if there is a threat of starvation, and even then I have to think about it first. I know all this inactivity isn’t healthy and I really try to make an effort.  I mean, I walked clear across to the other side of my office building the other day; worked up a sweat and everything.  Then I grabbed a coconut mocha latte and then walked all the way back to my desk.  BUT I DIDN’T BUY THE DONUT, which means I’m about to be skinny any day now, pretty sure.

Truth be told, I have lost a total of 3 pounds.  Although that number is fragile and threatened considering the bag of Cheetos that made its way into the shopping cart on Sunday.  Hubby and I determined we could eat one serving size of 21 Cheetos and still be okay, but I mean, who eats just 21 Cheetos?  If you are that person, you need to take that show on the road cuz your willpower is downright inspiring.  But also, I do not like you very much.  Soooo…

But back to my broken pants.  I’ve talked myself into it, and I think I’ll just go ahead and staple them back together.  I really like the pants – in fact, they’re one of my favorite pairs – and if I wanna spend thousands of dollars on bottles of nail polish but wear stapled pants like a damn hobo, well that seems logical to me.

Let’s look at pretty things!  My pal, Dave, from Octopus Party Nail Lacquer has some gorgeous spring polishes coming out that you’re just gonna die over.  Two are a general release and the other is for members of The Octosquad on Facebook.  You’re joining The Octosquad, by the way.   Read all the way to the bottom and you’ll see what I mean.  Lessss go!

You have no idea what these two are doing to me right now.  It’s about to get suuuuuuper unattractive in here, let’s just say.  I’m trying very hard to stay upright.  And drool and lolling tongues are not a good look for anyone.

So these two shades are for the general release, which means no effort is required, and I don’t know about you but my cat ears perked up immediately.  No effort?  Dave, you’re speaking my language.  Most likely it’s French and handing me a Starbucks. 

First up is Soft Swerve:

Mercy.

Periwinkle is back and this time she’s holo.  How delicately lovely is she?  The perfect polish in case you wanna hold tiny cups of tea or do a little hand modeling with a lacy napkin.  Most certainly it’s Queen of England-approved.  She’s quite proper with just a touch of flash and a light dusting of violet flakies and purple iridescent glitter.  Are you sticking your fingers in peoples’ faces saying LOOK AT MAH NAILS! then?  Well, probably.  But you’re also stroking the heads of newborns and passing laws through Parliament, cuz this polish is suitable for all that.

OMG, what just happened?  Shut up, Brain.

Of course there’s a macro:

While the flakies and glitters aren’t super sticky-out-y, they are definitely there and add a touch of something special to this delicious holo.  I lub it so much!

The other polish is just as gorgeous.  Here’s Maui Howie:

Kind of the opposite of that darling periwinkle, but every bit of stunning.  She’s warmer and more tropical, but also very much made for spring.  I was super excited to see this one in my swatch pack.  I live for shades like this.

So, let’s be clear:  anytime you describe your polish as a “hibiscus jelly” just know I might hurt someone a little just to get to it first.  Nothing serious, mind you, just enough so they know I mean business.  Maybe a tiny karate chop, or like a Black Friday-style elbow jab.  Either way, you’ll be busy sorting yourself out, and I’ll be that girl in the front row with her hand raised, answering all the questions, and being the smartest.  

Not only is it a beautiful coral color, but there’s holo, orange iridescent glitter and rose gold flakies in there too.  Just enough in case you wanna pass out for a second.

All the goodies, all up in yo face:

Now FOCUS!  This last polish is the one made exclusively for members of The Octosquad.  Here’s Octopus Prime:

If you haven’t already clicked on the link and joined the group, I am var var concerned about your brain.  You’re buying this; I’ve decided.  And when have you known me to make a bad decision?  Hammer pants and more than 21 pieces of Cheeto, notwithstanding.

So this one is an intentionally sheer turquoise jelly holo with blue/green flakies and green/orange and green/gold glitter.  Dave says you can apply this over a similar colored base to amplify the color, but I think it’s simply beautiful on its own.  I’ve done three coats here, and it appears opaque enough for me.  Maybe slight visible nail line, but if someone notices, I just hope to God you love them, cuz otherwise there may be a personal space situation that needs tended to.

Let’s seal the deal, shall we?

You are just a puddle on the floor now, right?  Yeah, me too.

I did some nail art with this one, and I kinda actually love it.  Look:

Cutie pie!  I thought the peach was a great compliment to the turquoise, and since it has somewhat of a beachy, Caribbean-esque feel to it, I did tropical flowers using the Lina 4 Seasons Summer 01 plate.  Do you adore it?  (Yes you do.)

The round up:

Presale for the two spring colors starts tomorrow, February 24 at 11am EST and will run until Sunday, February 26 at noon EST.  Click here for shopping!

As for Octopus Prime, it’s available only to members of the Facebook fan group, The Octosquad.  Click here to join and for information on how to snag this beauty.  Pre-sale dates will be March 3 through March 5 but times (as of now) haven’t been decided on yet. 

And as long as you’re in a clicking mood, here’s more links:

Octopus Party Nail Lacquer Instagram page – click here

My Instagram page – click here

Photos of kittens in baskets, just because – click here

Later, loves!

 Glisten & Glow: Oh, The Places You’ll Go Collection (plus bonus!)

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Let’s just go back to being kids.  Here’s some good reasons:

1.  Other people can drive you places.  I mean, honestly, the whole novelty of driving wore off about the second time your mother sent you to the store for bread.  After that, driving just became a means to get yourself to places you don’t really wanna go.  Like school.  Work.  Or anywhere else that requires pants.

2.  You can walk into a room full of office supplies and not get the hives.  Instead of candy or paper dolls, I’d spend my allowance on phone message pads and Post-Its.  I’d play office for hours and paper was everywhere.  I had envelopes with matching stationary and 65 pen pals I got out of the back of a Tiger Beat magazine.  This was my happy place.

Fast forward 30 years, and it’s surprising how much my childhood office is nothing like my real office.  Cuz there’s other people there, and they all ask you to do things.  Like correctly and on time.  Sure, the room is full of office supplies, but sadly it’s not the same thing.

3.  Playing dress up with imaginary babies is less creepy when you’re 9.  If you need further explanation on this one, I am var var concerned about the state of your brain.

4.  Snow days were actually a good thing.  Now they’re just an anxiety attack waiting to happen.  Cuz just because it snowed doesn’t mean you still don’t have shit to do.  Someone’s gotta make the spreadsheets, and most likely it’s me.  And chances are there’s no food in the fridge or gas in the car cuz that’s how my life works.  This is directly related to reason number one cuz where’s a mom with a car to come pick you up when you need one?

5.  Slumber parties.  These were the best.  Well, except for the one where Stacy and Juanita put mustard between Kathy’s toes because she fell asleep first and I sat over on the stairs and cried.  Or the one where my best friend peed in the bed right next to me, and I didn’t realize I was laying in it until the next morning.  And the time where I discovered my first cow patty on my friend, Kelly’s, farm and I gleefully hopped from one to the other cuz no one told me it was poop.  Besides those three times, though, slumber parties were …

A horrible example.  Never mind.

But honestly, being a kid was just so much easier.  When being lazy was your default since you literally couldn’t do things on your own.  Back when shaving your legs could still be a choice.  And you could watch the Miss USA pageant with your mom and a bowl of ice cream and think it was the greatest night you’ve ever had.  However, the downside?  Wine coolers.  Being illegal and whatnot.  That’s about it.

Time for nail polish!  I have some of the prettiest spring shades you might ever see.  Jill from Glisten & Glow sent me her amazing Oh, the Places You’ll Go collection, and basically they’re going in your basket whether you like it or not.  Take a look:

Told ya.  Who wants to fast forward to April now?  I do, I do!  Spring is literally where I bring my dead winter self back to life.  I’m ready y’all.  Like yesterday.

So this collection is inspired by the children’s book, Oh, the Places You’ll Go by Dr. Seuss, and I’m telling you, SPOT ON is an understatement.  Jill did her magic and made a perfect tribute to this classic book.  Not that we expected anything less.  Cuz GLISTEN & GLOW.  Duh.

First up is Your Mountain is Waiting:

I mean, COME ON.  How will you ever make it to the end of this blog if you’re just gonna go pass out already?  Ugh.  Best pink ever.  Pretty sure.

This one is the color of bubblegum and so ultra creamy.  Just the right amount of thickness to go on opaque in two, non-streaky coats.  Jill makes some of the best crèmes, I swear.  Formula is consistent clear across the board, and I absolutely love that.  Cuz why put wonton strips on a Thai salad one time and not the next?  WHY TROPICAL SMOOTHIE CAFE, WHY?!  You see, consistency is key.  You add the wonton strips.  Always.

Actual cute nail art:

Pretty simple, but I don’t hate it so toot toot! then.  Although I do feel I do this sort of design a lot, with the two stamped nails and the studs.  Trying to stop doing that so much, but it’s just so dang easy to stay in your rut.  Especially cuz getting out of a rut requires energy, effort and probably pants for all I know – three things I do not like.

For this design, I used the Lina Feeling Shapely 08 plate and some bright pastel blue stamping polish.  Also, the shimmer comes from one of the new toppers which I will talk about further down.  And the matte top coat.  Stay tuned.

Next up is 98 and 3/4 Percent Guaranteed:

One of my absolute favorite colors for spring.  There’s just something about periwinkle that makes me sigh with happiness.  Did someone just wrap me up in warm blankets and hand me a bunch of kitties?  Cuz  this polish makes me feel that way.

Again, two coats.  No streaks.  What is this voodoo, I ask you?  This whole scenario is suspiciously perfect.

Not quite as cute nail art:

But it’s not the worst, right?!  RIGHT.

I used one of Glisten & Glow’s crème polishes, Wedding Gown White, to stamp this design from the Lina Make Your Mark 03 plate.  Added more shimmer top coat plus the new matte top coat.  You’re dying to know.  Keep reading.

Now here’s Today is Your Day:

It’s true.  Today IS your day.  Your day to buy a bunch of nail polish you didn’t know you needed.  How lucky are you?!  (Very.)

This sunshine yellow crème was a huge surprise to me because I totally expected it to wash me out, look garish and gaudy and super unattractive against my obnoxiously pale skin.  But it had just enough of a neon quality to it that it did just the opposite.  Look how tan I look below:

Just kidding.  But it’s not ugly, and that is the point.

Yellow can be hard to manage, but this one is creamy and opaque in (again) two coats, no streaks.  It’s the best yellow creme I think I’ve used.  Toots for you, Jill!

Nail art that took actual effort:

OMG, I made a thing, an actual nail art thing.  I gradiented, guys!  I mean, I cheated and used the super simple gradient image from the Lina Make Your Mark 03 plate, but what exactly is your question?

Used all three of the crèmes mentioned so far for the gradient, which also ended up giving me an orange and a purple too once blended.  Added the dot image from the same plate plus one of the shimmah effects toppers, and voila.  Masterpiece!  I’ll take recreations, toots and accolades, you know, if you’re all not busy.

Last of the cremes is this one, Great Balancing Act:

I won’t lie, I kinda want to eat this one.  Good gracious, it looks yummy.  Plus it’s described as a mimosa orange crème and that sounds like ice cream so technically if I just lick it a little bit that’d be okay.

I’m not crazy, you’re crazy.

Also, for the record, this is my favorite of the bunch.  Such a unique orange shade, I own nothing like it, and if it’s weird or different, I want it.  Which is how I owned a pair of hammer pants in the first place.  And jodhpurs.  No self-respecting 7th grader should own a pair of jodhpurs.  Except unless you’re me cuz I could never be normal.

My favorite nail art:

I love the contrast between the orange and the periwinkle so much!  And the fact these crèmes stamp are expectations = exceeded.  They don’t appear like they would since they aren’t super thick like Mundo de Unas, but here is your proof.  How much more happy can you be right now?  Well, I mean, of course STARBUCKS, but then how much more happy?

Used the Uber Chic Beauty Love & Marriage 01 plate if you’re curious.

In addition to those four glorious cremes, Jill created two “shimmah” effects toppers just for funsies.  First one is called Fun to be Done:

Chock full of purple, pink, and red shimmer.  It’s glorious!  I chose to put this over a black base so you could really see the effect, but the majority of the above nail art uses these toppers, and they all look pretty good on colors too if you ask me. (And you did, cuz then why are you here?  The expertise, clearly.)

The matte version looks best, but the top two fingers below are glossy so you can compare.  Which is your favorite?

The other “shimmah” is Bang Ups and Hang Ups:

This one has blue and green shimmer, and I think it’s my favorite of the two.  Cuz it’s the darkest and has green in it, and of course I’d love all that, have you read this blog before?

Also, run-on sentence.  Now is not the time for grammar.  Nail polish makes me forget my brain.

Some shots of the Shimmah Effects on top of the cremes with the new matte top coat:

All that is magical.  Just so you know.

Now a word on that matte top coat:

Brand new edition to Jill’s core collection, so it’ll be available all the time.  It’s made in-house which instantly takes this from a good matte top coat to a great one.  Homemade is always better, don’t you think?  Well, unless you’re me.  My attempts at homemade look like a T-Rex did it with their eyes closed.  A hot mess, is what I mean.

So this top coat applies smoothly, dries to a satiny matte finish and doesn’t smear nail art.  Dries to the touch in under a minute and is fully dry within five minutes, which is perfect cuz y’all know you’re gonna need that paper clip at the bottom of your purse as soon as your nails are done.  Nothing says “suddenly got shit to do” like 10 wet fingernails.

In other words, this matte top coat is perfect.

The round up:

There are several different ways of purchasing these polishes.  Although you’re buying everything so I don’t know why this matters.  But because I am nothing if not thorough, here you go:

Set of 4 crèmes $28; individual bottles $7.50

Set of 2 shimmah effects toppers $14; individual bottles $8

Entire 6 piece set $45

Matte top coat (again, made in-house; toot toot!) $6.99

These launch on Friday, Feb 24 at 9pm EST so make sure you engage EMERGENCY NAIL POLISH MODE so you don’t miss out.  Click here to order and then sit back and wait impatiently.  It’s the least you can do.

Bonus ending!

Last Friday, Jill released this ocean blue dreamboat.  Here’s Diving With Mermaids:

Since it’s still available, I wanted to go ahead and mention it.  (Again, thorough.  Also, BEST BLOGGER EVER.)  This polish is a collaboration with Tiffany at @stunnin.nails on Instagram.  It’s a gorgeous oceanic blue holo with green shimmer, dusting of silver and red holo micro glitter and touch of King Triton’s gold.

Well, dang.  Who feels like doing 18,000 mermaid manis now?

An insane display of holo:

You done died.  You did.

I wore this polish to work and a co-worker asked to borrow it, and I tried to play it cool but inside the hives were lurking.  Cuz it’s hard to let go of your polish babies, even just for 14 hours.  I let my mom borrow a book from me once and it came back to me bloated and warped and with melted dirty snow all over it.  So naturally I panicked cuz nobody loves my things the way I love my things.  Sometimes unnaturally, but that is beside the point.

Macro time!

And of course there’s a mermaid mani:

Just something simple using the layered scales image from the Uber Chic Beauty Mermaid Life plate.  It’s not ridiculously creative, but I still like it anyway.

This one is available now and you can click here to purchase. Also, if you’re one of the lucky ones heading to Polish Con in New York City on April 29, this polish will be there along with Jill and Tiffany, who will be helping out at the table.  Price is  $10 either way so be sure to get your hands on it.

But back to the Oh, the Places You’ll Go collection.  Here’s a recap cuz someone’s already forgotten, I just know it.  Available on Friday, February 24 at 9pm EST.  You’re buying all 7 of them, so write that down and then do what I say.  I promise you’ll thank me.  And in that case, I like Starbucks and Visa gift cards.  And Leonardo, if he’s handy.

All done!  You’ve reached the bottom.  It only took 18 years to write this so kudos to both of us.  We. Are. Amazing.

Later, loves!

MDJ Creations: MDJ Peeps Group Customs (plus bonus!)

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I just saw my blog queue and the 18 drafts sitting in there staring at me, and OMG I just got the hives and need to go lay down now.  Quick, I need a dozen people to do something funny so I’ll have stuff to write about.  I mean, I can’t rely solely on my husband to do all the stupid stuff, although I will point out the insulation from the previous post is currently half on, half off like predicted.

I might be psychic, and if that’s the case, this blog suddenly got more interesting.

I don’t know if hubby realizes he’s the star of this blog the majority of the time, but how am I supposed to NOT tell you how his 6th grade band teacher gave him a “C” to pretend blow into the horn instead of actually blowing into the horn cuz he kept ruining concerts.  My three spelling bee wins are so much more impressive now, by comparison.

But to be fair, I’ve had my share of embarrassments.  In 9th grade, a boy whispered in my ear that he could see my maxi pad through my shorts and then I had to continue with the rest of my day as if none of that existed.  I don’t know if he thought he was helping or what, but if there was ever a time to be absolutely certain about the presence of my anxiety, I’d say that was a pretty good one.

Aside from all that, my hair was the shape of a triangle.  The 90s was hard, you guys.  SO. HARD.

I have new polish to share with you today.  And this one is kinda an emergency, so FOCUS.  Everything I have to say from this point on is var var important.  Unlike all that hot air blown up top – I don’t even know where my brain went during the entire 18 hours it took to write all that.

Two brand new MDJ Creations Facebook fan group customs are being released tomorrow so get your alarm and Post-It notes handy cuz you do not want to miss out.  Take a look:

Did you die?  Cuz I sure did.

That’s a massive amount of glitter in case you need obvious things pointed out.  I get it.  Sometimes I’m tired and don’t want to think for myself either.  And if I hold my mouth open just right, hopefully someone will just put some mashed potatoes in there cuz I AM THE LAZIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD.

First up is For My Peeps:

Gracious, that’s pretty.  All you purple lovers out there, you may pass out now.

So this one has a deep purple jelly base and it’s loaded with every glitter Melissa could get her hands on.    Despite that though, it had a surprisingly good formula.  As opposed to gloop, which none of us appreciate.  Much like the people who make extra food noises with their mouth or women who have the skin of a 14-year-old, gloop can go have a seat in the back cuz nobody likes you.  NO ONE.  

Took that shot directly under the lamps, and holy moly it couldn’t get much better.  Well, unless there’s Leonardo DiCaprio free gift with purchase thing, that is.  But after that, nothing.  Okay, Leo handing you a Starbucks, but that’s officially it.

Two macros to drool over:

Brain has officially stopped holding my mouth closed.  Lolling tongues are impending.  It’s about to get suuuuuuper unattractive in here.

The other half of the duo is Love My Peeps:

It’s the clear glitter topper sister, and we love her just as much.  Oh yes we do.

I chose a hot pink base to showcase all those blingy bits and pieces, and I think it looks fabulous.  One swipe – ONE SWIPE! – over the nail, and look at that payout.  Effortless, no pushing glitters around to cover up bald patches.  This is your glitter topper dream come true.  I’m not a fan of toppers cuz they’re too OCD-inducing for me, but if all the others were made like this one, well then my husband would have another new thing to worry about.  Cuz while food, utilities and a bed with covers on it is all well and good, collecting a thousand bottles of glitter toppers sounds like the most logical next move.

Died again.  Ugh.

Also, not that sponging on the glitter is even necessary, but I tried it on my pinky out of curiosity and it goes on really well. Two layers and boom.  You can get back in pajamas now.

More macros, more drool:

If that last macro didn’t seal the deal, something is wrong with your brain.  I’m serious.

The round up:

In order to get these beauties, you must be a member of the MDJ Peeps group on Facebook so you can get the coupon code.  Click here to join!  Once you’re approved and the code is in your hot little hands, click here to shop.  Release date is tomorrow, February 21 at 5pm CST so I’ll be expecting all this be taken care of by 5:01pm tops.  Priorities, ya know.

Bonus ending!

On Valentine’s Day, Melissa also released a small batch prototype of this little cutie pie.  Here’s In a Pink Mood:

So sweet.  So precious.    If it was any more so, it’d be less nail polish, more basket of kittens.

As you can see, this one has a mid-tone pink crelly base and it’s full of multi-colored hex glitters and shreds of varying shapes and sizes.  It’s stinkin cute is what it is; it’s basically going in your basket.  Cuz you like pretty things, that’s why.  And you can’t be obsessed with nail polish if you don’t do it properly.  Want, want and need.  That’s your new motto.

A final macro:

Some nail art I did:

I mean, no one is recreating this one anytime soon, but I’ve done a billion worse.  So …. there’s that.

Used the Lina All About Love 01 plate for the heart image and a ridiculous amount of purple gems plus matte top coat.  I dunno.  Do you like it matte?  I think I might prefer it glossy, although TOO LATE NOW.  I’m hitting publish on this dang post so maybe I can go to bed earlier than 2am.

Since this is a super duper limited release, if you want it, it’s best to go as quickly as possible.  Now is a good time so click here.  And now you belong in the cool kids group, and you can continue to read this blog.

But back to the MDJ Peeps group custom duo, these release tomorrow 2/21 at 5pm CST, and there’s a good chance they will sell out quickly.  Don’t forget to join the Facebook group (click here), then be sure to set 17 alarms at the minimum.  Do it.  I mean it.

Thanks for reading all the way to the bottom.  Internet high fives (and pajamas) for everyone!

Later, loves!

 

 

Bluebird Lacquer: Flake It ‘Til You Make It Collection

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Hubby just made a huge list of DIY projects for the weekend, so if you don’t hear from me for the rest of forever, chances are he’s accidentally killed us.  Cuz we just had 48 rolls of insulation delivered to the house and I’m pretty sure that’s not normal.  I mean, we lived with a broken toilet for approximately 4 years, so how that insulation is getting installed is beyond me.  I love my husband and all, but watching a YouTube video on carpentry does not make you a carpenter, soooooo …. SEND HELP.

And now he’s coughing underneath the house.  I hear it.  Is he dying?  Should I go down there?  But snakes and spiders and probably mystery puddles of wet something.  Aaack!  I’m conflicted, so I guess I’ll just continue to write this blog post then.  Cuz I don’t do dark and spooky, although seeing him wearing knee pads and the helmet with the head lamp on it might be totally worth it.  And posting a pic on Facebook would be even more so.

I do recall a time not too long ago where my husband told me next time he attempts DIY, to intervene on that idea, stat.  This was about 2 seconds after he started and failed to stain our own fence and ended up paying a kid to do it because somehow that made more sense.  But oh how quickly he forgets.  I’m assuming any time now, he’ll emerge from below with insulation half on, half off, and we’ll be moving into a new house shortly.

Until then, though, I have an entire 1500 square feet of living space all to myself and some nail polish to show you.  Let’s get into it!  Lovely Lou with Bluebird Lacquer (formerly Lou It Yourself) has this amazing collection of flakie micro glitters that you’re just gonna have to get your hands on.  Take a look:  

Erlack!  My mouth won’t stay closed already!

Have you ever seen such sparkle, such bling, such flakie goodness all in one place?  I’m not even joking when I tell you these are gorgeous, drool-inducing, heart stopping, pass-out-for-a-second beauties.  Seriously, I dare you to not do any of those things.  It’s nigh on impossible.

First up is Caviar Dreams:

I’m a sucker for a brown polish.  But when there’s a brown polish with a turquoise shimmer in it?  I’m for real drooling in a most unattractive way.  It’s probably a good thing my hubby is not in this room right now.  It’s important to look as sexy as possible at all times in order to stay married.  Which is why I wear pajamas about 85% of the time.

Macro porn!

My heart hurts; it’s so pretty.

And then I did this nail art thing:

Ummmmmmm.  I dunno guys.  I don’t hate it, but it’s not the best I’ve ever done.  Which is typical of most of my nail art anyway.  Why can’t I be a Russian nail blogger instead?  Cuz everything they do is magical voodoo.  And all their fingers are long and elegantly tapered, unlike mine which are more sausage-y.

Used Lina Make Your Mark 02 plate for the stripes if you’re curious.

Next is Blank Account:

This one is my top two favorite.  The silvery blue with the shimmer and the purple and the turquoise and the flakies and … uhhhhhhnnnnnnnn.  Lost all words. The rest of this blog post might be very hard to write then.  Hope y’all like mouth gaping silence.  

Uh oh, cussing from down below!  And more coughing.  I don’t know about you, but I think someone is being DRAMATIC.

A macro EXTRAVAGANZA!

With jazz hands, clearly.  

Here’s my nail art:

Okay, this one is better.  I like it.  Still pretty simple, but the image is fun.  Played off that purple shimmer by stamping in purple, and if I’m not mistaken, I might’ve thought this one out a little bit.  Which is a good thing, cuz when I don’t think things through, bad things happen.  One should not stamp all willy nilly.  Unless 17 images on one nail is what I mean.

Image is from the Lina Make Your Mark 01 plate.

Now here’s Funny Money:

Lolling tongue alert!  If you need to lock yourself in a bathroom to be unattractive in private, now is a good time.  Cuz GREEN.  How you are able to behave normally at this point makes no sense whatsoever.  I, for one, am a melting puddle of goo, and nothing is getting done today.  Hope hubby is making sandwiches soon.  Aside from the fact he’s tackling on this huge project under the house, I’m still gonna be hungry later.

Dreamy.  The happiest color in the world.  You’re buying this collection whether you planned to or not.  Here, gimme your priorities; I’ll fix them for you.

Time for drooling!

Ugh.  Dead.

Kinda diggin this nail art:

It’s very simple but I love the tone-on-tone greens.  Then I added those gold triangles cuz I felt like it needed a little something. Maybe it did, maybe it didn’t, but I don’t hate it which is the point.  A half-hearted toot on the ole horn.  

Used the Lina In Motion 02 plate on this one, in case you feel like recreating this gem. Bahaha.

Next up is Shine Bright Like a Rhinestone:

My eyes my eyes!  This one’s got some bling, people, and my photos do it zero justice whatsoever.  The silver is ridiculously sparkly, and those bright flashy flakies … gah!  Someone roll me a couch over cuz I need to pass out for a second.  I serious .. ly can’hghkffb .mf

Sorry.  Literally died.

OMG, my boy cat just hopped up on the bed and started taking a bath RIGHT NEXT TO ME.  I kissed him straight on the mouth and he hasn’t moved away in disgust or anything.  Today is the best day EVER!  I’m trying not to overdo it cuz I don’t want him to get up and leave, but it’s so hard you guys.  The amount of willpower on display over here is downright superhuman.

And now he’s bathing the other cat.  That’s it.  I’m going in!

Shit.

More macro, more drool:

You can just scroll right by this nail art:

Keep scrolling.  Blah.

Used the Lina Feeling Shapely 08 plate but that’s not important cuz you’re not looking you’re scrolling, remember?

Now here’s Champagne Wishes:

I stinkin love this gold.  It’s a brilliant shade full of coppery orange glitters and bits that give me some serious feels.  Right after green, orange is next, so for that fact alone, I want this polish on all my surfaces.  It’s bright, blingy, flashy and fabulous!  Like me.

Just kidding.  I wear pajamas.

Can’t stop.  Won’t stop.  (Drooling, that is.)

Insane right?  You’re buying them, right?  I’m your favorite blogger of all time, RIGHT?  Yes, yes, and especially YES so what is your question?

I don’t hate this: 

Or, A MIRACLE, as it is officially known.  I always enjoy images like these, the peekaboo lace ones.  Don’t ask why I made a plain nail on the end cuz that’s not up for discussion.  We’re just focusing on nail 1, 2 and 3 cuz this is my blog and I’m the boss in here.  I’m also the most ridiculous person on the planet, but that is also not up for discussion.  Besides, you probably already know.  Moving on.

Used the Ejiubas + 3140 Baby Girl plate this time, which I’ll admit I don’t use that often and this is probably its first feature on the blog.  So if you need an excuse for a celebratory wine cooler, then here you go.  Told you favorite blogger ever.

Lastly, here’s 24k Gold Plated:

The only thing better than gold gold is rose gold.  It’s just so lovely and elegant.  It’s Queen Elizabeth-approved, or so I assume.  Cuz next time I’ve having tea with the Queen – as I am wont to do from time to time – I’ll wear this one with pride.  Perfect for holding dainty tea cups and tiny food.  Maybe also for playing the harp.  I dunno.  Do you play a harp while dining with royalty?  What is protocol?  I need answers, ya know, for next time.

It might be the flute then.

OMG, shut up brain.  I’m not crazy, you’re crazy.

More bizarre noises from under the house.  I told my hubby if he’s dying or dead, to text me so I’ll know.  Cuz I’m almost 97.847696% certain I’ll just ignore a crash bang explosion or like screams and whatnot.  All that manual labor business is lost on me.  A big ole NOPE as far as I’m concerned.

I paint nails, which I feel is pretty important.  May not contribute much to the household – basically it renders our entire kitchen table useless – but it’s important nonetheless.  I imagine my husband thinks me scooping cat poop is more important.  But he is WRONG.

One last macro to get you off that fence:

Cuz being on the fence is no place for a lady.  In the shopping cart it goes!

Final nail art attempt:

They’re hearts in case you are blinded by the bling.  Perhaps gold was the wrong color to stamp with, but other than that, another toot for the horn please.  Quick!  Someone go get it cuz I’m laying down being var var busy.

For the record, I used the Uber Chic Beauty Love & Marriage 03 plate on this one.

The round up:

  

I’m so in love with each and every once of these. They’re simply breathtaking. Applies so smooth in two coats tops. Which means you can go out and do some stuff cuz of all the time you’ve saved. Or just take naps, if you’re me.

If you love flakies, micro glitters, nail polish in general, this collection has your name written allllll over it.  You like pretty things?  Well then, today is your lucky day.

Pre-sale is going on right now and will run through next Monday, February 24.  Shipping will begin on the 25th, and mailman stalking will begin shortly thereafter.  However, if you miss the pre-sale window, don’t worry.  These polishes will continue to be stocked, although what does rocket science, Instagram algorithms, and missing this pre-sale have in common?  None of them make any dadgum sense, that’s what.  In other words, GO NOW.  I mean it.

Entire collection retails at $50 and single polishes are $9.  You can buy them here.

Now sit back and wait impatiently cuz it’s the only logical reaction I can think of.

Later, loves!

Level Up Lacquer: Overwatch Collection 

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Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!  Who else is having Chick-Fil-A and a wine cooler?

I’d like to tell you I’m one of those ladies who couldn’t give a toss about Valentine’s Day.  I mean, it isn’t supposed to be the only day out of the year when your loved one publicly declares their love for you.  Cuz Valentine’s Day is technically everyday, right, my 21st century women?

WRONG.

Cuz if I am the only woman on earth who doesn’t get flowers delivered to work for all 1100 co-workers to witness, then 1) I question the depth of your feelings, and 2) there may be an eggplant plus scissors emoji-type scenario happening later.  I’m sorry if loving Valentine’s Day makes me a girly girl, a less-than, an anti-feminist.  I’m sorry that I want my desk full of roses and my stomach full of chocolate, and if there has to be one day out of the entire year to force you to do it, well that’s just Science and we don’t argue with Science, now do we?

However, there are two times when Valentine’s Day has backfired in my life.  Once about 20 years ago, my then-boyfriend gave me a tin of cinnamon popcorn and a card that said “Love Ya.”  At first, I was like oh thank you so much but about 2.5 seconds later I was like LOVE YA?!  What do you mean, LOVE YA?  And POPCORN? Who freaking buys their girlfriend popcorn for Valentine’s Day?!  Well, apparently it is a boyfriend who is going to break up with you about 10 days later.  FAIL.

And to this day, if anyone tries to gift me cinnamon popcorn, it’s snip-snip and a karate chop until AT MINIMUM you exchange it for popcorn with chocolate on it.

Second time was last year when my husband gave me the gift of my dreams:  a luxurious, fluffy pink robe.  Which worked out really well for me, but I’m pretty sure he’s regretted that move for the past 365 days, seeing as the robe has become less something sexy and more of a lazy, housewife-y, pants unzipped to let your fat out kind of robe.  When I wear the robe, it is no longer a tribute to a thoughtful and kind husband who listens to his wife when she tells him things; I wear it now and I might as well have a head full of hot rollers and 3 toddlers hanging off my body.  It’s never a special occasion robe – which I guarantee he thought it might be – but more of a uniform for the anti-social.  Cuz if I have to take off the robe just so we can go buy groceries and whatnot, chances are we will both just starve instead.  And if you see me and I’m somehow not wearing the robe, you can assume I’ve been kidnapped then.

In other words, he should just buy me nail polish next time.  It’s safer.

Speaking of nail polish (and best segue ever!), I have some pretties to show you today from Level Up Lacquer.  First time on the blog, y’all!  And what a debut … Here’s the new Overwatch collection:

I’m diggin all those.  Four gorgeous shades, unique and so lovely.  A couple of bright spring colors, a staple silvery sparkly one, and then that last one – ugh – I kinda one eat that one.  Except society.  They’re no fun sometimes.

This collection is inspired by the video game Overwatch.  Do y’all play?  I do a little bit.  Well, not Overwatch per se, but like, I tend to a fake bakery and build ovens and change the wallpaper from time to time.  That’s roughly the same kinda thing, right?  Right.

First up is My Reality:

Ooooooh, a thermal!  A turquoise one!  Isn’t it so pretty?  And it’s so bright and cheerful, you can’t help but close your eyes and smile like an idiot for a second.  I love polishes that do that to me.  Preferably before my husband walks in the room and divorces me.  It’s important to keep our crazy to ourselves, ya know.  That’s how marriage works.

Here is My Reality in its warm state:

Kind of a white-ish grey and you can see lots of white and turquoise glitters.  At times I thought this polish was a very light blue when warm, but now I’m pretty sure it’s sorta gray.  Like 97.947675 percent.

Here’s the polish in transition:

Y’all know right before this photo here there were about 187 others that were stupid.  Transition shots are hard sometimes.  There was at least two hours of me with my hand in the freezer, out of the freezer, back in the freezer, having anxiety.  Best Blogger Ever award?  Yes, please.

Now here’s the cool state:

Full on turquoise EXTRAVAGANZA!  How happy are you right now?  (Very.)

Time for drooling!

Now FOCUS.  Next up is Boop:

THIS.  We’ve barely gotten started and already I’m losing words.  Seriously, moan-y throat noises are about to come out.

Uhhhhhhhhnnnnnn.

See?  Ugh.

This one is a bold lavender with a touch of pink, like a tropical flower or something.  A dusting of purple hex glitters and just the teeniest bit of holo that I almost didn’t see until I got up close.  Went on so smooth, glitters spread around so nice.  On a scale of one to Leonardo, this is basically a dreamboat in a bottle.  Only way it could be better is if it came with a Starbucks.

Macro porn!

And then I did this nail art thing:

And it’s not hideous.  Straight up miracle.

I did gradient stamping with a turquoise and dark purple stamping polish and used the Uber Chic Beauty Love & Marriage 01 plate.  Plus matte top coat for extra credit.  Where’s my horn?  I need to toot it.

Now here’s Orb of Harmony: 

Okay, at first you’re like, alright, a silver.  But then you start putting it on your nails, and it’s all you can do to keep upright.  Grab your smelling salts just in case.  And look at those little baby gold flakies.  I loves!

This is one of those polishes when the word perfection doesn’t even describe it quite right.  It was a pure pleasure to apply.  One layer, two layers, then onto Polish Mountain!  Except I’m lazy so I just stopped at two.  Clearly, it worked out.

Also, NERD ALERT.  Sorry.  There are times when moan-y throat noises are the better choice.  This is one of those times.

Another macro; lots more drool:

And another nail art look I’m kinda somewhat proud of:

I think this is rather cute.  I used a dainty daisy image from the Lina Feeling Shapely 08 plate and added dots of gold for the centers to play off those gold flakies.  It’s almost as if I thought this one through before accidentally stamping all the things like normal.

Lastly, this is High Noon:

Saved the best for last?  Prolly.  And absolutely, definitely, one hundred percent-ly the most unique.  From the chocolately plum jelly base to the awesome gold, red and lavender glitter mix, I seriously need a couch to lay on for a second.  And bring candy bars.  This one is making me hungry.

One more macro and a bit more drooling:

And now, nail art:

Okay, so this one isn’t my favorite.  I don’t hate it, but I don’t love it, which is how I usually feel about my nail art.  So status quo, then.  Blah.

The image is from the Lina Make Your Mark 03 plate, which has tons of cool edgy patterns on it.  And stamping polish is my favorite gold from Powder Perfect.

The round up:

Guess what you’re doing next?  That’s right.  You’ve read this blog before, haven’t you?

To recap, you’re putting Post-It Notes on all your surfaces and setting a minimum of 17 alarms.  Release date for this collection is this Friday, February 17 and you don’t wanna go getting there late, now do you?  The whole room be watching you walk in, judging you with their eyes.  And you’re probably wearing click-clacky shoes and your seat is clear on the other side.  Planning is everything, my friend.  Don’t be the girl in the click-clacky shoes.

OMG, what is happening?  Shut up, brain.

Just go buy the polish, is what I’m saying.  Click here.

Later, loves!

Night Owl Lacquer: Love Trio and the Facebook Group Custom

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Maybe I should’ve vacuumed all the nail polish peelies from my cup holder before handing my car over to the valet.  Cuz today, I found one of them laying on my floorboard, which means at some point a peelie was stuck to some stranger’s finger before they flung it off, and most likely they are grossed out and judging me right now.  I don’t know why, but I’m less embarrassed by the empty Funyun bags and car door full of used Kleenex.

It’s not like I’m collecting nail peelies in my car or anything, although I’m certainly not making much of a case for myself at the moment.  It’s just on my way home from work, I have a couple minutes to be useful (aside from the driving and not dying and whatnot). I figure by consolidating my time, multi-tasking and being efficient, the whole 30 seconds I saved by removing my polish in the car means I won’t be up until 2am doing nails on a work night.  Not once has this proven to be true, but that is a moot point.

I used to put the peelies on my leg and then hand the whole lot of them to my husband when I was done.  He didn’t really enjoy that, though, even though it was a gift and a part of me I loved.  So now I’ve started tossing them in the cup holder with all good intentions of cleaning them out more often than zero times in the last six months.  Maybe this whole valet thing will kick me in gear, but then again, my level of procrastination is damn near EXPERT so who honestly knows.  I  mean, I bought my car 3 year ago and have only gone through the car wash approximately 7 times.

Pretty sure that’s not normal.

So while you contemplate that sad bit of news, let’s look at pretty things.  Another awesome collection from Night Owl Lacquer coming your way today!  I have their new Love Trio plus their very first Facebook group custom polish to show you. And a special little prize for those who read all the way to the bottom.  Get ready!  Lesssss go!

Welp, this is starting out well.  This is the dark side of Valentine’s Day and I freakin love it!  Gimme all your blacks and your reds and your deep, vampy purples. I’m the happiest of all things happy right now.  Lindsay is a real pro, and she knows exactly what I like.  And so now we are best friends whether she wants it or not.

First up is Love Hate:

Nom, nom, nom!  Jelly!  Good gracious, I want to lie in a huge bathtub full of that.  Is that weird?  Prolly.

This one is a black jelly with red holo micro glitter, red holo shreds and silver flecks.  I can’t think of any better interpretation of a love/hate relationship than this one right here.  It’s glorious!  Easy application with two coats  of perfection.  Made of magic, voodoo, and loads of fairy dust.  Why this thing doesn’t cost a BILLION DOLLARS is beyond me.

My attempt at Valentine’s nail art:

Well, it’s not the worst thing you’ve ever seen right?  Cuz that’d be my cup holder full of nail peelies, or so says the valet.

Lip image is courtesy of the Lina All About Love 01 plate.  If you haven’t picked up this plate yet, you are not very good at goals, then.

Next up is Love:

Are you hot? Cuz I’m hot.  I’m just gonna lie down on the floor here and pass out for a second, okay?  BRB.

This sexy little mama is a bright red jelly packed with silver holo shreds.  My favorite way to wear red – dump in a bunch of sparkly things.  This one is perfect for your Valentine’s date night with your sweetie.  You’ll be hand modeling all night with this one.  Pointing at menu items with your flashy fingertip.  Holding a wine glass or a salt shaker like you’re about to give them away as prizes.  For real, Vanna White only wishes she were you.

Not as good Valentine’s nail art:

I don’t hate it, but its definitely not as cute as the first one.  The lines in this image were pretty fragile, and didn’t wanna behave very well.  I suppose it turned out alright in the end – you can tell those are hearts inside those little circles at least. Unlike what usually happens when I nail fail.  Take a look at this owl I painted and tell me he’s not on meth.  Click here for a laugh.

The plate I used on this one is the Uber Chic Beauty Love & Marriage 02 plate.  You know, if you’re taking notes.

Last polish in the trio is Unicorn Love:

You done died.  You did.  For real, how are you even standing upright anymore?

This one is a deep purple jelly with blue, pink and violet holo shreds.  The macro showing off the goods is plain ridiculous.  For real, the amount of willpower on display over here is quite superhuman if you ask me.  Cuz seriously, I’m about two wine coolers short of wearing this all over my body.  But HR is watching; they are alwaaaaaaays watching.

And then I did this thing:

Again, not terrible, but no award winner. However, I do love the way this polish looks with a matte top coat.  For that fact alone, I give this a half-hearted toot toot! on the ole horn.  Not a full blown toot because I am humble and wise.  And best blogger ever in case you’re curious.

Used the Lina All About Love 01 plate on this one, by the way.  An awesome plate, but we’ve discussed that before.  You read this blog from the top down, right?  Didn’t just jump in here in the middle somewhere like a crazy person.

Finally, here is the very first Facebook group custom that Lindsay has ever done.  I give you, The Fire Within:

Straight up DREAMY is it not?  One of my absolute favorite color combos.  It’s such a striking mix and gives me massive feels.  Looking at this soothes my soul, makes me close my eyes and smile like an idiot.  A sigh might come out and incoherent throat noises.  Words are leaving me, people.  Just moans for the rest of the day.

On this, we have a medium grey creme with bright red shimmer, red holo shreds and silver flecks.  You almost get a sense of purple or taupe when the red reflects off that grey, and that’s my absolute favorite part.

Uhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnn.

See?  DONE.  Get me one of those old fashioned fainting couches cuz I need to lay down, stat. Bring Leonardo, just in case.

Final nail art:

Super simple look, but I think it’s rather pretty.  Plus, the matte top coat I used here just took this polish to Crazy Town.  Who wants to matte all the things now?  I do I do!

The rose stem image came from the Uber Chic Beauty Love & Marriage 02 plate, another favorite.  Clearly, I’m very easy to please.

The round up:

Get ready, guys, cuz this collection plus the Facebook group custom all release TONIGHT, February 10 at 10pm MST (or midnight EST). Which means you have less than 24 hours to get your priorities straight.  Night Owl Lacquer up top, y’all!  I’m not even joking.

Don’t forget – if you want to order The Fire Within (and you do), you gotta be a member of the Facebook fan group.  So here’s your to-do list:

Click here to join the group.  

Once approved, view the pinned post at the top.  There’s a 20% off coupon in there you don’t want to miss.  Offer is valid until 2/17, so now is a good time to go.  Not an emergency, but it kinda is.

Then click here to purchase all your pretties.

How easy was that?  And you get polish at the end of it.  Don’t you wish all errands came with nail polish?  I guarantee dishes would get done roughly 17 times a day.

Retail price is $25 for the Love Trio set and $9 for single bottles and the group custom.  Done, done and done.  You won’t be sorry, I swear.

Last but not least, if somehow you fail to complete your to-do list in a timely manner, FIRST, something is wrong with your brain.  Then second, I have a coupon code you can use if the other one has expired.  Type in SOR10 during checkout and save 10% at any time.  Best day ever then?  A billion percent yes.

Later, loves!