Good news, guys! It’s not fall yet, which means it’s also not winter, which means I can behave like a normal person for at least one more day. If the entire world just breathed a massive sigh of relief, well, that sounds about right.

On the flip side, I’m sitting out in the car trying to write a damn blog, but keep getting distracted by my own sweat bead mustache.  It’s a little warm today, you might say.  And I don’t sweat like a lady, but we’ve been through this before.  How I’ve managed to stay married, I don’t even know.

But cool weather is lurking, and I’m about 18 tubes of hives cream away from losing it.  Seriously, who’s in the mood for giant sweaters, brown grass, and sunshine that takes a dadgum vacay?  NOT THIS LADY!

Ohhhh, but the fall nail polish!  Well, we all like those.  Take a look at what LJ with All Mixed Up Lacquers sent over:

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •



Yes, yes and more yes!  There’s holo, there’s flakies, there’s tongues lolling about everywhere!  For real, if you ain’t 27 levels of drool-y right now, I am var var concerned about your brain.  And if fall could be anywhere near this amazing, wellll, we can subtract maybe one tube of the hives cream.  Cuz baby steps, y’all.  Baby steps.

This is the Touch of Magic Collection, a set of seven jelly dreamboats full of microflakies, scattered holographic glitter and two shades of chameleon chrome flakes.  You tossing every last one of these in the cart, then?  OF COURSE YOU ARE.  Cuz you’s a decisioning kinda lady, that’s why.

Quick rundown of colors for you!  LJ said I can describe them in whatever way I please, so just be aware a bunch of stupid stuff is about to come out.  On the plus side, a HAND MODEL!-type extravaganza is happening in 3 .. 2 .. 1 ..

CABIN IN THE FOREST

MY CLEVER DESCRIPTION is a milk chocolate brown, which surprises no one.  Don’t even ask how much the words not food, not food, not food is running through my brain right now.  The sheer amount of NOT licking my fingers over here is downright superhuman.

DAMN POISON!

MY EVEN MORE CLEVER DESCRIPTION is a candy apple red, cuz it’s not quite RED red, but slightly PINK-ish red, but with a touch of Jolly Rancher, and so we want like 18,000 bottles.

GLITTERY PUMPKIN GUTS

MY “SHOULD’VE BEEN A POLISH DESCRIBER” DESCRIPTION is a butterscotch-y, caramel-y, orange-ish kinda color that looks like it should come equipped with a napkin and a spoon.  I’m not even ashamed I just said that.

DANCING SPRITES

MY DESCRIPTION?  Greeeeeeeen!  I mean, you’ve read this blog before, right?

BIBBIDI-BOBBIDI BLUE, B****

MY VERY-OBVIOUS DESCRIPTION:  Well, blue.  As in the vivid, royal variety.  An “accidentally on all your surfaces” kinda blue.  As far as blues go, it’s my favoritest.

POWER OF THE STONES

MY GOOD TRY BUT NO THANK YOU DESCRIPTION started out as just “purple” but then I noticed LJ called it amethyst and well, I’m not sure if we’re in some kinda contest now, but I’m pretty sure she won this round.  DAMMMMIT.

FALLEN STARS

MY LAST DESCRIPTION is quite possibly my saddest attempt.  Guys, this one is grey.  But grey with an “e” not gray with an “a” so we can all pretend we’re just a little bit more fancy.  Worth half a horn toot, at least?

THE ROUND UP 

First of all, we have learned I am not to be trusted when given the freedom to describe my own colors.  I AM NOT GOOD AT THAT JOB.  However, in my defense, it’s hard to be clever when half my brain is trying to hold my mouth closed.  Otherwise, drool falls out, which causes divorce if I’m not mistaken.

But secondly, you’re buying this collection.  There’s no way you’re not.  After all the carpal tunneling I’ve done for you, it’s the least you can do.  Here’s deets:

Full set of 7 polishes:  $58/full size or $48/mini size

Single bottles:  $8.75/full size or $7.25/mini size

Happiness:  FREE

An alarm-setting opportunity!  These beauties release Friday (tomorrow), September 15 at 2pm EST and you shall be first in line. My favorites are the red and green, although this point is moot.  All seven, and in the cart they go!  Weeee!

Where to buy:  https://www.allmixeduplacquers.com/

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Off to do some swatching, then more blogging tomorrow.  Come back and see!

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Things to do with your hubby on a Friday night:

1.  Sit in the garage and eat french fries, gleefully, like we invented the dang thing.  Seriously, we were like two kids sneaking a cigarette behind the wood shop at school or something.  If a high five ensued, no one would be surprised.  Perhaps we were just happy we were off work and had two days to wear pajamas.  Or perhaps we are just lame.  I dunno.

2.  Spend five hours trying to surprise kiss my husband since he won’t do it the normal way cuz my right nostril scab has officially reached an expert level of unattractiveness.  So apparently there IS conditions to his love, which is good to know in case of accidental nail polish extravaganza. I mean, if I happen to buy 1247 more bottles whose fault shall it be then?  When there’s a hole in your life, you fill it. It’s basic science.

3.  You watch your husband watch an extraordinary amount of serial killer shows on Discovery ID.  I don’t know what that’s about, but SLIGHTLY ALARMING doesn’t even begin to describe this scenario.  Cuz there’s 500 other channels he could be watching; certainly there’s an undiscovered space galaxy he needs to know about instead.  Or at least someone is mining for gold or making moonshine, at the minimum.  In other words, SEND HELP.

I have a few polishes from All Mixed Up Lacquers to share with you today.  My pal, LJ, sent me her April and May Disney Princess shades plus a new top coat to review, so I figure it’s time to get into it considering at the end of May, this blog will be moot.  Another POLISH EMERGENCY, people, so get your focus face on.  The amount of serious business up ahead is downright superhuman.  Take a look:

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

If you love glitter crellies, you’re about 2.5 seconds away from your best day ever.  Cuz where there is glitter, there is you smiling to yourself with your eyes closed.  I get it.  Glitter makes me an idiot, too.  The Ugly Ecstasy Face is a dire thing.

First up is the April polish – she’s called Mulan:

This one is a light yellow crelly loaded with lime green holo glitter and garnet and sapphire metallic glitter.  What a fun mix!  It’s so bold and bright and cheerful.  Happiness in a bottle, with a Starbucks and a Leonardo on top.  Cuz if you’re gonna love something, doing it in a stalker-y, smother-y kind of way makes the most sense.

I did two brushed on coats and one dabbed on coat to fill in any naked spots.  And since the glitters have their jazz hands on, I added two coats of the new top coat to simmer down the crazy.  Otherwise it’s a little textured, and I’m not in the mood for a hives-like episode.

Macro of the goodies:

One bottle plus 27 backup bottles, in the cart they go!

For May, we have Tiana:

This one is a light green crelly base with dark green glitters and multi sized gold holographic glitters.  It’s my favorite, and well, have you read this blog before?  Cuz you don’t just toss a green one in here and expect me not to drool in a thousand tiny buckets.  

Again, I did two brushed on coats, one dabbed on coat and two coats of the new top coat.  And the glitter payout is legit no joke.  It is everywhere.  If you’re walking away from this one, I feel sad about your brain.

An insane display of pretty:

I won’t lie; I kinda wanna lick that.  I mean, I know it tastes like poison and it might actually kill me, but what if – WHAT IF! – it doesn’t?  What if it’s a green apple Jolly Rancher and I’ve just been wasting so much time sitting here being normal and whatnot? What is the point in life if you can’t eat a bit of nail polish every now and then? I ask you, WHAT IS THE POINT?

LJ also debuted a new quick dry top coat.  Take a look at F5:

This dries to the touch in under a minute and completely dry in less than 3 minutes.  Very glossy and won’t smudge nail art.  I’ve been using this almost nonstop since I got it – it’s almost gone! – and I just love it.  Another swatcher, who doesn’t change her manicure 15 times a day like a proper loon, said it’s kept her chip free for over 3 days.  Which is good news for everyone who isn’t me.  You know, for the normal people, is what I mean.

The round up:

Okay, seriously, this collage gives me a twitchy eye.  May on top of April?  Might as well hang a picture on the wall about a quarter inch wonky and then walk away like no big deal.  EXCEPT IT IS A BIG DEAL.  OMG, I gotta get out of this blog, stat.

The deets:

The two Disney Princess limited editions retail for $6.50 for a mini or $9 for full size.

The top coat mini is $6 and the full is $7, and even though I haven’t done math without a calculator since 1992, I’m about 97.87549% certain the full size is a dang good deal.

Here’s where it gets serious:  the Disney polishes are only available until May 31.  Did you just do an overly dramatic gasp of panic?  ME TOO!  Basically, if you don’t get your shit together in the next two weeks, it’ll be a sad state of affairs for you.  Click here for shopping!  Go now.  I mean it.

Hey, thanks for reading all the way to the bottom!  You all make writing this blog so dang worth it.  Without you, I’d just be in here talking to myself like a crazy person, so toots for you for keeping me somewhat sane.  As much as a drooling, nail polish licking person can be, that is.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •