Tag Archives: glam polish

Glam Polish: Gobblefunk Shimmers (LE)


My husband suggested an idea for my own nail polish color. He said it shall be called No Pants Sunday, and that it would be a super pale nude or possibly a plain white. With freckles in it. I’m not sure if I should be offended, or pleased he’s speaking the language of my people.

Yes, I’m pale. Yes, I’m also super pale. All of that is true. And it’s not even the Irish Fair Maiden kind of pale. Unless you like the shade of chalk that’s been dipped in yogurt, then I’m not winning any hot bodies contests any time soon.

To be clear, though, it’s mostly my legs that are pale as they never ever see the sun. I am not a leg girl. Unless I’m headed out to the Fat Knee Convention, I keep my legs covered up. The rest of my exposed skin is more of a red, anxiety-flush version of pale. In other words, my husband loves me for my brains.

To protest No Pants Sunday (the polish, not actual no pants on Sunday, of which I am a super huge fan), I give you some gorgeous Glam Polish shades that are the exact opposites of nude.

This is one of their newest collections called the Gobblefunk Shimmers. Five spectacularly blingy shades celebrating the 100th birthday of one of the world’s best storytellers, author Roald Dahl. 

Let’s go! First up is Whoopsy-Splunkers:

Okay, stop. Did you just die? Cuz I sure did. What a glowy, gorgeous thing. They look like literal metallic foil on your nails. Glorious.

Here’s a shot taken under the lamps:

Squeeeee!  And we’re just getting started, so I’ll be a mushy pool of drool and goo by the end of this blog. 

The base on this shade is an indigo blueish purple that’s loaded with crimson color shifting glass fleck shimmer and holo flakes.  It’s such a cool mix!  Look at it up close:

Formula on this is to die for. Two easy and flawless coats. No effort required. If this polish was a person, it’d be my best friend.  We’d be so awesome at pajamas together. Throw in some Netflix and Doritos, and life = succeeded. Effortless, like I said.

Nail art alert!

These polishes make excellent bases for fun nail art. Here, I used some candy swirl vinyls I got from Lanika Vinyls and they are the best of this style I’ve ever used. See those clean lines? That’s not cuz I know what I’m doing, AT ALL, I can promise you that.

Next polish is Phiz-Whizzing:

The camera might’ve freaked out on this one cuz my fingers look so tan and lovely!  I mean, see the below picture for sad portrayal of actual life. Ugh. 

Ahhhh, there I am! Flushy and fleshy. Did I just break the internet? Probably so. 

Phiz-Whizzing is a teal jelly with gold and green color shifting glass fleck shimmer and holo flakes. First pic was taken in the light box and pulls more green, while the second one under the lamps pulls more teal. Either way, I’m in mad, passionate love. It’s the green of my dreams.

Again, two precious coats. 

I thought this was the perfect mermaid shade, so of course I did some cute mermaid nails:

Uber Chic Beauty just came out with a mermaid stamping plate, so what excellent timing!  However, don’t ask what I was attempting on my ring finger. Clearly, I don’t always know when to stop.  Stamp all the things!  That’s my motto. 

And now, Splitzwiggled:

Good gracious, I’m speechless.  How glowy and gorgeous is this? (Very.)

Under the lights, though:

I need at least 17 emojis to properly describe my love for this shade. It looks red in some lights, but it’s actually a magenta jelly full of gold glass fleck shimmer. What the hell is glass fleck shimmer? I dunno, but I want it all over my body.

Is that TMI? Not in this group!


Still dead. 

Then I did this wackadoodle nail art:

You see, I was trying to make strawberries laying in a field of green vines. In my head, this looked nothing short of an art piece. But in reality .. meh. Again, a prime example of how NOT to stamp all the things. Someone needs to take away my stamping plates. 

Just kidding. I will cut you. 

Ready for a jaw drop? Here’s Gloriumptious:

Okay, it’s getting serious now. You’re buying this entire collection. I’ve decided for you. 

Has there ever been a more splendid couple than fuchsia and blue? Besides Fritos and bean dip, the answer is NO.


Went a little simpler with my nail art on this one. I bought the entire stamping plate inventory from this new company, Lina Nail Art Supplies, which means two things:

1.  Not stamping all the things is proving to be var var hard right now, and

2.  Someone needs more responsibilities, like an electric bill or something. Cuz, again, I BOUGHT THEIR ENTIRE INVENTORY. What is wrong with me? In my defense, though, I wanted every last one of them.

So here’s a design using their Make Your Mark 02 plate:

I love the contrast of the blingy fuchsia and the glossy black creme. I made a success of this one! Toot toot!

And lastly, we have Time-Twiddler:

Perhaps the most subdued of the bunch, but definitely not boring. This one might be a manifestation of me in polish form:  wearing pajamas, looking all chill, but still awesome AF cuz look at mah nails! Hair might not be combed, but dammit my hands belong in a magazine.

Ooooh, she pretty all glossy like that!

Color here is a deep violet – more royal purple than Whoopsy-Splunkers, the first polish I showed you. And those glass fleck shimmers –  purple, this time – are just so perfect. This polish looks like black light. Check it:

See what I mean? This one sets one heckuva mood. Sexy little thing.

Busted out some chevron vinyls that I got from Polished Vino not too long ago, and made this easy design:

Sometimes simple is best. 

The round up:

Holy moly, what a fabulous bunch of pretties. Guys, you have to get this collection. Every single one of them. They’re pretty. They’re shiny. They’re smooth and easy.  Two coats and done. Why are you still thinking about this?! Get on it, girlfriends!

Well, not til October 28 at 2pm EST that is. On that day, you can buy them here. Shipping to the US is quick and cheap cuz they have a supplier in Michigan just for us! They do ship to some other international locales, which you can check here.

So, what to do between now and October 28 then? Besides watch season 5 AND 6 of The Walking Dead before some asshole ruins season 7 before you ever get there, that is? Scroll my Instagram.  Duh.

Later, loves!

SwatchFest 2016: Glam Polish


I just did 20 minutes of cardio trying to get a bee out of my car while scrolling Instagram on lunch break.  Ugh, what a horrid little surprise.  Y’all know my idea of exercise is having my husband go get me stuff while he is up and walking around.  So, having to use all my energy ducking and weaving in and out and around my car was just too much exertion for me.  I hope to God someone is on their way with a candy bar.  I really feel like I deserve one right now.

While we wait, we’ve got some polish to discuss.  I had the great honor of being a Guest Swatcher for Glam Polish recently, and they sent me 4 beautiful recent releases to share with you all.  And THEY. ARE. STUNNING.  In all capital letters cuz I’m serious.  You’ll see.

The first three all came from their Coven Collection, inspired by some famous witches.  Let’s start with Magica de Spell:

This one is inspired by the sorceress, Magica de Spell, from the Scrooge McDuck cartoons.  She is modeled after a Morticia Adams-type character, sexy and seductive.  I’d agree!  This is a gorgeous deep red-toned purple.  And what are those little silver specs?  Glitter?  Flakies? Magic?  I’d go with magic, because duh .. witches.

Photo taken in light box:

Ugh.  So pretty.  And the formula was amazing.  Two coats, ultra smooth, easy to control.  A literal dream.  In fact, if all polishes were made like this, I’d have an even worse problem than I do now.  So it’s probably a good thing, otherwise how will Starbucks happen?  I mean, I may have a house full of nail polish, but no money for Starbucks makes it hurt a little bit.  But just a little, let’s be clear.

Some macros:

I could probably end the blog right here with enough convincing evidence for you to buy some Glam Polish.  But do you have something more important to do, somewhere fancy to go?  No you do not.  You’re on your couch wearing no pants just like me.  Moving on.

Here’s Zelena:

Omg, there’s a green one.  A glorious, spectacular, delicious green.  Next level green.  Basically the most fabulous green of your life.  Get excited!

Zelena, inspired by the Wicked Witch of the West, and I’m seriously in love.  She literally glows.  Even in this photo inside the lightbox, which I took to reduce glare:

Stubborn little missy, she’s glowing anyway.  We like that sassy attitude.  You definitely need this one in your collection.   I can’t think of any reason why not.

Some macro porn:

I die!

Let’s seal the deal now.  I present Ms Eva Ernst:

Talk about sexy!  A gorgeous berry red.  The perfect vampy shade.

Ms Eva Ernst is inpsired by the Grand High Witch from the children’s book, The Witches, by Roald Dahl.  I’ve never read the book, but this polish makes me want to.  Polish makes me want to do lots of things, actually.  Here’s a list:

Number 1:  Sit in my nail room and organize my bottles first by brand, second by color.

Number 2:  Sit in my nail room and caress my bottles like they are precious little polish babies, which they ARE, clearly.

Number 3:  Sit in my nail room and stare at my bottles, most likely complete with idiotic smile and half closed eyes.

Oh my God, polish makes me a crazy person.  Well, that’s nothing new.

Again, two perfect coats.  Easiest, most effortless application.  You could apply this laying down wearing a big snowsuit a la Randy Parker from A Christmas Story who “can’t put his arms down“.  Is than an overexaggeration?

No it is not.

Okay, so now that we’ve decided you’re buying these three, let’s look at one last one for good measure:

This is Wheeeeee!:

This one is part of the Ready…Set…Go collection, inspired by Mario Kart.  How cute is that?  I checked, and there are 12 polishes in this collection, so if you’re diggin this style, the rest are pretty similar.  Different colors, of course.  But guaranteed to love.

I’ll admit, it looked scary in the bottle.  There was so much going on with its silvery glitter base and those pale aqua circles and stars that I thought for sure the formula would be thick, goopy, and hard to apply.  But NO.  It was easy peasy lemon squeezy and so pleasy.

Okay, I’ll stop.  Just go buy it, ok?  Two surprisingly amazing coats.  If that’s not enough, check out these macros:

I’m speechless, so I’m just gonna go now.  You know what to do anyway.  Click here to buy everything I’ve showed you, plus everything else they have in the store.  Glam Polish is made in Australia, but shipping to the US is very reasonable – like $3.80 for the first bottle then $1 each additional bottle.  They coordinate with their shipping agent in Michigan in order to make it speedier – you should get your order in less than a week.  Magic?  Yes.

If you aren’t in the US, they ship other places too.  Click here for more info!

Happy Friday everybody!  I’m polishing nails for the next 72 hours.  What about you?  Buying some Glam Polish?  That’s right.  You are.

Later, loves!