Monthly Archives: March 2014

Petit Vour | March 2014


One of my favorite box companies is Petit Vour.  Why, you ask?  I love the majority of what they send.  There is always something unique that other boxes don’t carry.  Plus, for those that enjoy this type of thing, they are vegan.  So you get good stuff that you can feel good about.  Points all around for Petit Vour!

My March box, people:


I said Petit Vour is one of my favorite boxes, not that they are immune to the one-time-use packet epidemic.  However, because one of them is a LAFACE body lotion, and body lotions are mostly boring, I’m okay with it.  I did use it, and it was fine.  I suppose if you have a full-size and can use this lotion on a daily basis, it is apt to firm and tighten your skin.  I don’t have patience for that business because I like firming and toning incidents to happen immediately.  But, if you enjoy waiting around for miracle, then maybe give this one a try.

Got another pack of NCLA nail wraps.  I kind of like these things.  They are super easy to put on, and the best part – I can do all my OCD/ADD activities immediately after applying without fear of messing up my nail polish.  Very handy for my lifestyle.  Most of the time I’m on the couch laying about.  Until I give myself a manicure.  Then like magic, I’m var var busy and need to touch all the things including my itching eye,  Dorito crumbs on the rug, and the underwear up my butt (suddenly; very strange).  In other words, nail wraps solve a heap of problems, and who doesn’t love that?  (Crazy people.)

The envelope in the picture is from California Naturel and it includes three one-time-use packets of their skin care line.  I sampled it.  I have no opinion.  I used it one time, that’s why.  We’ve been through this.

Moving on.

Received yet another kind of hair oil, this time in the form of I.C.O.N. India Oil.  I’m digging the small bottle this time because as I mentioned in my Birchbox review the other day, I have a lot of hair oils right now.  If I get sent a full-size or a super deluxe-size sample, it may take about 15 years to get through it.  And I don’t have time for that.  I barely have time to pick Dorito crumbs off my rug.  (Unless I just paint my nails – then there’s time!  Per usual.)  But this one smells very spicy, Indian-style.  Sort of calming.

Last product in the box is a mood serum from Lotus Wei.  I got the Quiet Mind version, which is supposed to be relaxing, calming (there’s that word again), peaceful, focusing – you know, all the things you strive to be but can’t because you are alive and human.  I apply one drop of this oil on my face right before bed and it smells very nice.  Kind of citrusy but a little more exotic than that.  Anyway, this is a rather unique product and one I probably would never have bought myself, so I’m thankful to Petit Vour for curating it for me.  If it balances my state of mind, I’m all for it.  Because it’s very tiring being me sometimes.  Checking door locks 15 times before bed ain’t no party, lemme just say.

The end.  If you haven’t subscribed to Petit Vour, then consider this your friendly nudge.  It’s one of the cheaper ones, if that helps nudge you even further.  I think you’ll like it, which is your final nudge.  So go now.  Subscribe.  I am the boss of you.

Ipsy | March 2014


Let’s get right down to it. Here’s what’s inside my Ipsy box. Do you notice anything weird?


Yes, that’s right. Four products instead of five. I’m not sure if Ipsy thought I wouldn’t notice, but I notice everything. It’s the joys of OCD, people. Do not mess with me.

Aside from that, it’s a decent box. All makeup, which is nice. However, my unfavorite:

I have nothing against NYX. In fact, I love them the most as far as drugstore brands go. But this eyeshadow trio they sent me made me about take a nap right in front of it. It’s brown. Nothing but brown. The most boring trio of all trios in all the land. I mean, they had to have known I already own more brown eyeshadow as if I invented the dang thing. In an effort of fairness, I used it once, confirmed it’s boringness, then gave it to my daughter because she loves anything that’s free.

Now for stuff I do like. This Pixi Flawless Beauty Primer. Not that this one is anything special, I just enjoy primers. The texture of it is nice. It does have a little sparkle to it in direct sunlight so that might bother some people. But I work in a windowless office with zero purposeful or accidental sunlight contact so I’m okay with it.

This Chella liquid eyeliner pen is in a beautiful indigo blue and I absolutely love it. Problem with it is it dries out during the act of applying so it takes forever to put on. One pass across the eyelid and it’s patchy and sticky. So you wipe the nib on a tissue to sort of reactivate it, try again, and barely anything. So you are stuck in a swipe/wipe cycle that seems never ending, but you can’t stop cuz you’ve already started and you can’t walk around with half a blue eyelid all day. It’s a big o pain in the ass. But hang in there cuz it’s really quite pretty in the end.

Last item in the box is a mini Bare Minerals Marvelous Moxie lipstick in the color Get Ready. This is my favorite item. The color is a beautiful warm pink. The smell is delicious. I would buy a full size of this lipstick in an instant. And I don’t even love buying lipstick. So see? Amazing.

We’re done. Short and sweet. Hopefully next month there will be 5 items in the box to review. I’m not needy or demanding or anything. I’m just saying there by god better be 5 items in the box. That is all. Good day, sir.

Birchbox | March 2014


Time is running out people.  Four days left of the month, four boxes to review, and two boxes that haven’t even came yet.  I’m not stressed or anything.  No, not at all.

Breathing… Breathing …

Birchbox this month was great.  I loved pretty much everything in the box.  Take a looksie:


I believe everyone who subscribes got the Jergens BB Body Perfecting Skin Cream.  This is a new product that you can get pretty much anywhere, probably even Walmart, because it’s Jergens.  And who hasn’t owned a Jergens product at least once in their life?  Nomads, cavewomen, probably, but other than that, just about the entire world has a little tube of Jergens in the bottom of their junk drawer.

Now, having said that, I did not use this product.  Mom was at my house the other day and told me I have too many samples and to give her some.  I gave her a little bit of stink eye, then grabbed what I wanted the least and gave it to her.  So she is now using the Jergens skin cream, and she told me she likes it.  Apparently it is supposed to hydrate, illuminate, even, firm and correct all within 5 days.  Sounds pretty intriguing, but I think it is fair to mention I wanted this the least because it is body lotion (i.e., boring), and I already have two big o lotions to get through before I would even crack the lid on this one.


Another sunscreen.  I have a feeling this is going to be a theme due to spring/summer approaching.  Got the Coola mineral spf 30 matte tint.  I freaking love this stuff!  I can’t vouch for it’s sunscreen properties but the texture of this is phenomenal.  It’s a dry formula, not lotiony, so as you smooth it in it practically disappears into your face.  It feels amazing.  I know I’ve already claimed Cotz as my holy grail, but Coola is right there along side it now.  Only drawback is the price.  It’s $36.  That’s not a typo.

Received a little bitty baby tube of Air Repair Rescue Balm.  This stuff reminds me of my Elizabeth Arden 8-Hour Cream that I keep on my nightstand.  Both are clear gels, both do not smell very good, but they both feel very protecting on the lips.  At night, I sleep with a fan blowing directly into my face.  I have to have it.  If the fan ever stops in the middle of the night, I wake up immediately.  That’s not an exaggeration.  IMMEDIATELY.  With all capital letters.  Anyway, with this on, I do not feel the fan wind hitting my lips.  However, I do not wake up with the balm still on my lips, so it doesn’t last all night long. I mean, it’s not a miracle product or anything.  At some point the fan wind does hit my lips.  But that’s not the point of what I’m saying anyway.  My point is I have to have the fan on me at all times while sleeping no matter what, and no one, not even my husband’s moans and groans about it being too cold or making the inside of his nose dry, will stop me from the fan.  Never. NEVER. Ever never.

Oh, and my other point is that I like the Air Repair Rescue Balm.

I did receive a one-time-use packet, but I think I’m okay with it.  The Agave Healing Oil Treatment will help combat my frizzy hair and leave it smooth and luxurious.  Fine! I’ll take it!  But I already have two very large hair oil products that I will probably own for the next 15 years, so getting this little tiny sample of the Agave probably works best.  I usually have good luck with this kind of stuff, though.  I feel like hair oil does a pretty nice job protecting my ends from heat as well as smoothing it down and making me less poufy.  I own a sample from Mastey that Glossybox gave me in November (still using it) and a full-size of the Sexy Hair version.  I think I’m good for the rest of my life.

Last item from the box is my absolute favorite, a moisturizer from Caudalie.  This one is called a moisturizing sorbet, and the name alone makes me want to own all the sample tubes in all the land.  (Because I can’t afford all the full-size tubes; they’re $39 each).  I lub this stuff.  It feels so good going on my face, absorbs pretty quickly and leaves my skin feeling nice and soft.  I am about thisclose to ordering some samples on eBay because sadly enough, my sample tube is about gone.  This morning I was banging it on the counter trying to get more out of it because I didn’t want to throw the tube away.  Isn’t that so unlike me, the girl who enjoys cleaning out the clutter and crossing things off the to-do list?  So if you ever see me doing this, you’ll know immediately what to do.  Order the product right dadgum now.

Heading to eBay.  Bye!

OneRadiant | March 2014


This is my last OneRadiant box.  The very last one.  I tried to get them to let me continue subscribing but they said, No! No skin care for you!

Well, it wasn’t exactly like that.  I guess technically it was more along the lines of the subscription just being a 3-month program, and the only way to guarantee you wouldn’t get the same products in the next 3-month subscription is if your skin care needs have changed.  And mine hasn’t.  Sadly, I’m still a mildly dry, somewhat combination in the t-zone, periodically dry chin and forehead, with normal cheeks and temples.  Anyone else got this?  We skin twins?  No?

It’s just me then.  Figures.

There’s probably not even a name for that skin type.  I’ve probably even invented it all by myself.  I could be a miracle of nature and not even know it.  Let’s just assume that’s the case from here on out, mmmm k?

Anyway, here is my final box:


First of all, I was cheated.  The little pouch of EltaMD sunscreen is a duplicate.  And not just from receiving it in another subscription box (which I have; it was Beauty Army), but OneRadiant sent this to me in my very first box a mere two months ago.  Honestly, do they not have a database that tracks that for them?  Or did they run out of samples to treat my bizarre – I mean, miracle of nature – skin type?  Whichever the case may be, I gave them to a friend.  I didn’t dislike the sunscreen.  It was fine.  I just didn’t feel like sampling it YET AGAIN.  Have you seen how much shit I have in my bathroom?  I don’t have time for no repeats.

So if you can’t tell, this box is chock full of one-time-use packets.  Hooray.  Here’s my face:  -__-

Another packet being the Sunday Riley Good Genes Treatment.  I’ve always wanted to try a product by Sunday Riley.  Primarily because I love the name of their company.  Okay, that’s the only reason.  I have no idea about anything else.  And sadly, after putting on this product one time and one time only, I still have no idea.  It felt like any other serum I’ve ever tried, and I looked exactly the same as I always do afterwards.  I suppose if I really want to find out if it does all it claims (brightens, improves textures, replaces your old face for a young one), I can pay $105 for the full-size.

And suddenly, I’m not interested anymore.  Tricky little marketing tactic though.

That little envelope that says Chella on it contains three sample packets of their advanced treatment line.  There’s a serum, a lifting lotion (for jowls; urgh, horrible word), and a line filler.  I used all three on Saturday, and guess what?!  Nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  Why, again?  You know why.  I’m not even going to say it because I’ve already mentioned it like 15 times in this post.  And also, I’m trying to keep the carpal tunnel at bay.

But if I need to be CEO of all the companies, so be it.

Moving right along.

Finally, a deluxe sized sample of something.  Now was that so hard?  Received a tube of the Nia24 Physical Cleansing Scrub.  I’m alright with this.  I exfoliate twice a week so I always need scrubs like this.  I haven’t used it yet because I’m still working on a tube of VBeaute that I got last month.  But it’s coming up next, and I’ll be sure to let you know.  It’s got niacin-infused jojoba beads in it, so I’m sure it’s just lovely.  (Oh, I love jojoba – did I mention that?)

Last product is four little tubes of a serum from Rejuve MD.  I was supposed to get the eye treatment according to the product card in the OneRadiant box, but my tubes clearly say FACE on them.  So here’s to hoping that’s correct or else I’m putting eye gel all over me.  Anyway, the serum is a gel consistency so it goes on cool and wet, but it dries slightly sticky before it completely sinks in. I don’t necessarily think it makes my skin soft or anything, but it does feel better once fully absorbed.  I’m super big on texture, so I wouldn’t purchase this on that fact alone.  It’s also $165 for the full-size, so I would also not purchase this because I am poor.  However, I’m going to relish these four little tubes as if there’s liquid gold inside.  Which there practically is if you think about it.

That’s it, people.  No more OneRadiant.  It was fun getting customized skin care just for me, but I’m okay with letting this one go.  It’s an inexpensive box, though, so if you love skin care, I’d recommend shelling out $36 for the 3-month subscription.  Even if you don’t like anything in the box, you’ll probably still use most of it.  There’s a bit of skewed logic for you, but I’m wayyy big into justifying everything beauty related.  It’s a natural inborn reflex.  Can’t help it.  It’s in me.

Til next time.

Buying Stuff: Episode 8


Huge haul alert.  Just a warning, in case you have something important to do within the next 15 hours.  Otherwise, get comfy; we gonna be here for a bit.  I’ll try to make it short and sassy, but sometimes (i.e., every time) my eyes sort of glass over when talking about makeup and skin care.  I’m so addicted, I can’t focus on anything else anymore.  Seriously, my husband could be standing in the middle of Ulta completely naked and I’d never notice.

So let’s get started.  You know how I am about wanting to own all the things.  Pretty sure that will never end, although I’m giving my best effort.  Every time I am on YouTube, one of my gurus starts talking about some brand I don’t own, and that gives me the hives like no other.  I need to have something, anything, from every brand or I can’t function properly.  OCD sucks so bad sometimes.  It manifests in many different ways, one-track-mindedness being one of them.

Here is an eyeshadow palette from Lime Crime:


I chose the Alchemy palette because it is new and all the shadows are duochrome.  They are absolutely gorgeous shadows, and surprisingly wearable, especially the purple in the middle.  Very very pigmented as well, which is nice.  I think my favorite of the five colors is the green.  It’s vibrant and bold, looks beautiful on the outer V and lower lash line.  Reminds me of spring, not Easter spring, but green grass spring.  It evokes a feeling of warmth and sunshine in me, and effectively cures my Seasonal Affective Disorder.  In other words, this palette is a medical necessity and therefore justified.



I used the Carol’s Daughter Monoi Repairing Hair Mask yesterday, and I’m so in love.  This is some amazing stuff.  But in order to get a bigger picture, let me describe my hair to you.  Naturally wavy.  Dries frizzy and poufy (the bad poufy, not volumized poufy).  Fine texture.  Oily scalp but dry ends (I know; I told you I was my own oxymoron).  In simpler terms, I just don’t like.  I wish I could let my hair dry naturally and love the results.  But no, that would be too simple, and my life is all about the complicated.  Wavy hair is not the same as curly; it’s can’t-commit hair, the worst kind.  Be curly if you wanna be curly.  Don’t look as if you thought about it and changed your mind in the middle.  Cuz what I’m left with is straight and fine in the scalp region, lumpy in the middle section, and frizzed out at the ends.

I use a hair dryer and a flat iron or curling iron, so there’s heat damage to add to all that other mess.  It’s not color-treated, or at least not since 2011.  But it does break easily, and even after I get a haircut or trim, my ends still look like they’re split.  As if my hair is not committed to being curly or straight, but dadgummit it has no problem being broken.  And you should just see how much hair swirls around in my bath water.  I spend more time picking errant strands off my body or untwining them from around my fingers.  What am I supposed to be doing in the tub?  Nothing.  What am I really doing?  Trying to save myself from being attacked by my own hair.  No. Bueno.

Enter the Carol’s Daughter mask.  First off, this stuff smells like the Garden of Eden.  Use this mask for that sake alone; it’s heavenly.  In fact, I’m sitting here typing this blog with a swatch of hair strewn across my upper lip like a makeshift mustache.  You literally can’t stop smelling it.  It’s made with monoi oil, which is apparently derived from 15 gardenias and coconut oil combined over a 15 day sacred ritual.  That’s quite specific, and I wish I could tell you I was kidding, but I’m not.  And it comes from Tahiti.  Tahiti.  Are you convinced yet?

The result?  Glorious.  My hair was less poufy and so extremely smooth and silky.  The silkiest it’s ever, never been.  And my ends look very healthy, even though it’s been 3 months since my last haircut.  I will never be without this mask now.  I’m so happy I could cry.

As for the tiny jar of Tarte eye treatment, I haven’t used it yet.  But of course I needed it right this second.  Bought a sample off eBay because I didn’t want to commit to a $38 full-size.  I’ve heard great things about it, so I’m excited to use it.  After I finish this horrendously large tube of Glytone that seems to replicate itself after every use.  I’ll never be done.

More good stuff.  See below:


Cutie pies!  All of it, just adorable little cutie pies.  I work as a buyer, and one of the departments I buy for is a spa.  This is a relatively new job responsibility, and it’s proving to be quite dangerous because now I know exactly what products they’re ordering and I need to own every last one of them.  These three things are from the Farmhouse Fresh line, and I barely walked away with the small shopping bag as opposed to the industrial sized platform truck I really wanted.  Everything was simply precious.  I swear, if there’s an idiot CEO out there that claims packaging isn’t that big of a deal, I will karate chop them in the throat.  Because honestly, it gets me lured in every single time.

What I bought was a jar of Honeysuckle Orange Custard body cream, a tube of Front Porch Punch hand cream, and a Sundae Best chocolate face mask.  All food scents, so delicious and summery.  I’ve mentioned before how boring body lotion or hand lotion is, how I never ever buy it, unless it is in cute packing or it smells like fruit.  This stuff’s got both.

I’ve brought the hand cream to work, so now I’m using it all day long.  It’s a mixture of strawberry, mango, melon and grapefruit.  So good.  If my hair isn’t stuck up underneath my nose, it’s my fingers.  Yummy and delicious.  I haven’t used the body cream, as I’m trying to finish my Ahava sample, and then I have the Josie Maran sweet citrus body butter next in line.  In other words, it’s gonna be a while.  But just having it in my bathroom, owning it and claiming it as mine, satisfies me to no end.  Plus it has a wooden spoon applicator.  A wooden spoon applicator!  You need this in your life, at the very least so you can own your own tiny wooden spoon.  As for the face mask, it smells and looks like chocolate pudding.  It’s divine.  I may eat it if I don’t use it soon.

Last bit of goodies is this small haul from Ulta:


I actually finished my Urban Decay pressed powder, so thought I’d give the loose powder a try.  Someone on YouTube said it gave them flawless skin, and well, you don’t have to tell me twice.  Flawless is a magic, evil little word, isn’t it?  You tell me something is going to make me flawless, and I’m buying it about 2.5 seconds later.

The tube of Too Faced LashGasm mascara is a really good one.  I actually owned this not too long ago, and it made my lashes look amazing – or as amazing as my lashes have the capability to be.  Then one day I dropped the tube on my tile floor, and ruined my life just like that.  The tube cracked at the top, and all the mascara oozed out of it.  I tried to salvage it for a few days, but it was just too messy, and then I started having OCD panic attacks about all the poo germs getting into it because it’s stored on the counter right next to the toilet.  Needless to say, I had to give it a sad little goodbye.  But now that I’ve replaced it, my heart has healed.

I own a lot of the NYX butter glosses.  They are some of the best lip glosses that ever lived.  Not sticky one bit, smells amazing, colors actually show up even though they are sheer.  Thought I’d try the purple because I live on the edge, and also the name of it is Raspberry Tart, which makes me think of pie.  I love pie.  And cake.  Cake and pie.  With whipped cream on top. And chocolate shavings.

What are we talking about?  I dunno.

I actually have a Sephora order delivering to my house today, and I was thisclose to calling in sick so I could sit home and wait for it.  You know how it is.  The excitement becomes almost too much to bear sometimes.  I’ll do another haul on that later this week.  Still got 6 beauty boxes to review and only 7 days left in the month.  Pressure’s on, people.  It’s hard being a blogger sometimes.  So. Hard.


Lip Factory | March 2014


I feel like I’ve been doing beauty box reviews almost nonstop.  That’s what happens when you subscribe to 11 boxes I guess.  Scratch that, 12 boxes.  Erlack!  I signed up for another one from Beauty DNA.  I.  Am. Ridiculous.

But anyway, Lip Factory came in last week.  Had a chance to use every product, which I try to do before reviewing, although sometimes it’s impossible.  Happy to report I’m in love with everything.  Rarely happens in the beauty box world, so this is a massive achievement.  Lookie:


Every 4 months, Lip Factory does an It’s All About the Lips box, so you get nothing but lip products in it.  Normally, I’d be … eh … alright … about it because I like a variety, and lip products tend to last me nigh on forever.  Which, if you’ve read this blog before, you’d know how much I love throwing away empty containers.  It’s a bit of a perverse pleasure, you’d say.  I also enjoy owning all the things so … I’m my own oxymoron.

Back to the box.  This lip gloss from Mirenesse.  It’s beeeeyootiful.  I have never had anything like it.  It is the most pigmented frosty nude that looks amazing on my lips.  Normally, I’m not a fan of nude colors because my lips disappear right into my face.  But not this one.  It’s glorious.

Mirenesse is an Australian company, so their website lists prices in AUD.  So good luck figuring all that out.  But I highly recommend this product.  It is definitely one I will miss when the tube runs dry.

Got another lip butter from Ellovi.  Previously, Petit Vour sent me this but my daughter claimed it for herself.  So I was perfectly fine for getting another one.  It feels very nice on the lips and is perfect for applying in the evening after you remove your makeup.  I leave mine on the coffee table (naturally, where else?), so I can put it on while watching The Goldbergs.  It’s like my cute little nighttime ritual.  Also on the coffee table is my Essie Apricot Oil cuticle stuff, some Jack Black lip balm and my current evening moisturizer.  Just strewn about haphazardly.  Not even in a little trinket box.

Huh.  This goes against everything I stand for, doesn’t it?  The more I talk about it, the less cute my ritual sounds.  I mean, I despise clutter.  I am steadfast about tossing useless things.  Husband barely pulls mail out of the mailbox before I’m asking, Do you need this?  How about this? Can I throw away this?  You know how junk mail can be.  Even the programs on the DVR aren’t safe.  Well, my programs are, but when Husband records a live concert by Harry Connick Jr, I’m immediately asking why.  What is this?  Was this recorded on accident?  I mean, certainly you don’t plan to save this on the DVR for the rest of your life.  How many times can you possibly watch it?  I mean, once, tops.  Here, let me just delete it.  I’m just gonna go ahead and delete it.  Look, I’m deleting.  Ooops. It’s gone.  And the DVR gets tidied up just like that.

In other words, I’m buying a trinket box this weekend.

Got two things by Jesse’s Girl – a lip liner and a vitamin E balm.  First of all, the lip liner is in a really nice brick color, and it goes on pretty smooth.  The cap has a built in sharpener, which I love.  I don’t use lip liner that much, but on darker colored lipstick, I should.  Unless I want to look like I apply lipstick in the dark while drunk.  It all depends.

The vitamin E balm is classified as a lipstick, but it’s completely clear.  I like applying this stuff in the mornings right before I start my makeup.  That way, I have nice, smooth, moisturized lips by the time I’m putting on my lipstick.  I’m finishing up a different tube right now, but I sampled this one out of curiosity.   Feels good, not minty or tingly, but just nice.

Last item is a lipgloss quad by Cargo.  I love the handiness of this product.  I’ve sampled all the shades (my quad is called Casablanca), and there is a nude, a light pink, a darker plum and a matte brown.  The plum is my favorite.  I could wear this lipgloss on its own because it shows up darker than the others.  One thing though is I cannot find this quad on the Cargo website, so I’m not sure if it’s a discontinued product or not.  Other vendors sell it, but not Cargo.  Which is weird.  But who am I to contemplate others’ weirdness when I can’t even go to bed without physically touching the obviously locked front door knob despite seeing from 6 feet away that it’s clearly locked.

Okay, that’s it for now.  Only 5 more boxes to review and then we’re done.  Until next month that is.  Have a great weekend lovelies!

New Beauty Test Tube | March 2014


Life loves me again.

After opening two mediocre boxes, I thought for sure the excitement was dead and buried. But now that I’ve received my New Beauty Test Tube, my faith has been restored.

Faith in what, I’m not sure. Beauty boxes, surprises, the mail? Probably all that, just to be safe.

Anyway, here’s what I got:


See what I mean? I’m about to pee my pants just looking at it.

Don’t worry; I’ll behave.

Got me some hair stuff.  I’m excited to try It’s a 10 Miracle Leave-In Lite conditioning spray.  I absolutely loved my 12 Benefits, but was not a fan of the Sexy Hair soy wheat thingie, so getting to sample another leave-in makes me happy.  I’m always on a quest to make my hair as luxurious and supermodel-y as possible.  If I don’t look like I just walked away from a wind machine, I have failed.  So if the It’s a 10 can help any little bit, I’ll be pleased.

Have you ever tried the GlamGlow Youthmud Tinglexfoliate mask?  Yes, no?  If you’re not sure, then you most definitely haven’t, trust me.  I got a sample from Ipsy a few months ago and couldn’t wait to try it.  All the celebrities use it in preparation for the red carpet or some other fancy party where they need to look like beauty queens.  So of course, being the un-shallow person I am, I needed it immediately.  I almost bought the full-size before even sampling the sample.  I mean, who doesn’t want to look like a celebrity?  Crazy people, that’s who.

But I withheld myself, by a sheer magical force of willpower.  And good thing too.  This stuff will burn your face off.  Literally.  (Okay, not literally.)  However, their definition of “tingle” needs a bit of a tweaking, unless by tingle they mean stinging.  Or maybe they actually meant stinging, but somebody wasn’t paying attention in the meeting.  It happens all the time.  I mean, if you gonna call something a Rocky Mountain Oyster, it better be a dadgum oyster.

What am I going on about?  I dunno.

Got another Lumene moisturizer, but this time it’s a night cream.  Last Lumene product I got, the smell was so horrid I had to throw it away after maybe 3 or 4 uses.  This new item is a different line, their Pure Radiance one, so hopefully it doesn’t stink.  It’s made with arctic cloudberry, whatever that is, but it sounds like a fruit, so it’s promising.  I will keep you posted, no worries.

Perhaps the most amazing thing in the tube is this It Cosmetics powder brush.  This is the real deal, full-size, authentic powder brush valued at $48 which cost more than the entire tube.  How awesome is that?  (Very.)  This brush is luxuriously soft.  I don’t even want to use it because it’s so pretty.  For now, I’ve left it in its container and displayed it on my counter.  I’m entertaining the idea of using it to swirl on my Guerlain Meteorites, because fancy + fancy = math even I can do.  Hooray!

There’s a Mally liquid lipstick pen in there.  I got the color Mally Look, which is a very bizarre name for a lipstick, especially because all the other shades are named something normal.  But whatever.  I already have one lipstick pen of hers that I got in a little value set, color Blossom, but I didn’t love it.  It had a plasticy smell and felt really thick on the lips.  The Mally Look shade seemed to smell slightly better and was less gross.  So I don’t know what all that means.  I like the new one better than the old one.  But isn’t that how it always is in life?  I fully expect to meet my husband’s new girlfriend in about 25 years.

Not a fan of nail polish.  I repeat, not a fan of nail polish.  Even if it’s Orly.  I will say that I probably would have kept it if they’d sent me a different shade.  But I got red.  Red is super hooker-y for an office situation, unless your office is in a strip club or tattoo parlor.  (No offense if that’s really your office; work that work, girl!)  But for me, I prefer to wear red nails on weekends when going out on the town.  And because I never go out on the town (as in come Friday night about 6pm, it’s pajamas all day errrr day), I never wear red polish.  Aside from that, removing red polish is a pain.  Unless you like ghostly red remnants all on your finger skin.

Now having said all that, I’d probably still wear red polish to the office.  Just ignore me.

Got another Bioxidea sheet mask, but this time in the diamond edition.  I haven’t even used my gold one yet, so you could stay I’m starting a little collection.  For those curious, full-size is three sheets for $79, which is roughly $20 for a one-time use.  (Go math!)  It claims to give you a 48-hour face lift using “diamond power” so I’m going to hold it to that promise.  Cuz if my face doesn’t completely revert back to baby skin after one $20 use, well then what is the point of this?  Again, I ask you:  what is the point?

Adding yet another mascara to the booty.  This time it’s one by Grandelash-MD.  Apparently it’s like a lash growing serum and mascara rolled into one.  I’ve used it twice, and it did okay as far as lengthening my lashes.  Not the most dramatic I’ve seen them, but then again my lashes do not perform well with any mascara.  I suppose the only way to see if the growing claims are real is to use this product every day. Do you know how hard that is when you have like 23 mascaras? Playing favorites is nigh on impossible. In other words, if this mascara works, I’ll never ever know.

Got this jazzy little Tarte Maracuja Oil rollerball. Isn’t it cute? I already own a sample of the jar with the medicine dropper, but the rollerball idea seems way more interesting, not to mention convenient. This actually came at a pretty good time because I just now TODAY finished my other one. How about that? Readin’ my mind, surfin’ on my wavelength. As if New Beauty Test Tube and I were meant to be. Welp! That solves that. Subscription cost: justified.

Also, I really like the maracuja oil. I’m not sure what maracuja is. It could be slug larvae for all I know. But it makes your face soft.

Another eye cream. The one product I own that takes a long, long time to get through. My two-week supply of StriVectin lasted over a month if that tells you anything. So I’m not sure how long it’ll take to get to this PerriconeMD High Potency Eye Lift sample, as I’m smack in the midst of a Glytone tube that’s bound to replicate itself as soon as I think I’m getting close to the end.  But anyway, this PerriconeMD one costs a fortune, so I’m excited.

Okay, when I saw this little bottle of Boost-It! Instant Complexion Enhancer I wasn’t sure what to do with it. And upon further investigation, I discovered this was one of those Luminess Air products that you drip into a mechanical airbrusher and spray on your face. Naturally I’m confused as I don’t own an airbrush system. But then, I shut off my brain for a sec and just kept reading. I get ahead of myself sometimes. I’m a highly anxious person, if you can’t tell.

Anyway, apparently you can use this without an airbrusher and you apply it on your face like a primer before makeup. So I did. Can I just say this is the ONLY product I’ve ever used that claims to give you a glow that actually does. It was beautiful. I looked very supermodel-y, not gonna lie.

I’m gonna keep testing it out until the sample is empty, and if I continue to lubbit, I’m buying the full size. Guaranteed.

Last product in the test tube was a couple of packets of Nip+Fab No Needle Fix serum. The texture of this was quite nice, but there’s no way I can tell you if it plumped up my skin properly with a one-time use. We’ve been over this before, but no one listens.

All in all, this box was fantastic. I wish it came every month because it’s just so fun to open. Now it seems as if May is a billion years away. Guess I’ll go subscribe to another box to take the pain away.

Sorry not sorry.