I’m not much of a sports fan, but I can go to a live event like a dutiful wife every once in a while.  Especially if it comes with a luxurious hotel stay, shopping, and a Michelin Star-rated dinner reservation.  So when my husband asked me if I wanted to go to a baseball game in St. Louis, I agreed without much hesitance.  I figured worse case scenario would be me wandering around a souvenir shop inside the stadium while my husband has the time of his life all by himself.

Then my husband bought us jerseys.  Nothing wrong with a little team spirit, and it’s kind of fun dressing up and rooting for the home team, cheering along with the crowd and whatnot.  Until he told me he bought us jerseys for the opposing team because he is a Cubs fan not a Cardinals fan.  You mean to tell me I’ll be sitting in a stadium surrounded by 40,000 Cardinals fans wearing a Cubs jersey?  That’s a fashion faux pas I do believe – and a turf war waiting to happen.  I’m scared!

Here’s my Birchbox:

I’m not a big fan of eye patches.  They are a less serial killer-y version of a sheet mask, but I still would rather use an eye cream.  However, I went ahead and used these Skyn Iceland Hydro Cool Firming Eye Gels for the sake of this review, and I have to say if I felt like crossing over to the other side, these would be on my shopping list (along with a huge index of beer I’ve never wanted to try).  They feel very soothing, stick really well, and they’re pretty princess-y if you wanna go sit down and have your husband make you a sandwich or something.  If I had puffy under eyes, I may have noticed some results, but since I don’t I can’t say much else.  The website says they are a Celebrity Favorite, and really that’s all anyone ever needs to know anyway.

Another navy blue eyeliner.  You know, if there is a world shortage, I got everyone covered probably.  This time I got a Marcelle waterproof one in the shade Indigo.  Stayed pretty well on the top eyelid, but I couldn’t get it to go on my inner rim for the life of me.  Like I would swipe it on and absolutely nothing came off.  Either I just have very wet inner rims or this eyeliner is stupid.  I most likely won’t be keeping it.  I have no use for it.  I’ll pass it along to my daughter who somehow manages to look good in every makeup reject I pass down to her.  Because life is FAIR, that’s why.

Let’s continue with the Most Boring Samples Ever theme and talk about the TempleSpa Good Hair Day shampoo and In Good Condition conditioner.  Yes, it’s something usable, but honestly it puts me right to sleep.  I’m tired of getting shampoo and conditioner in my boxes, although on the flipside, I haven’t had to buy a full-size of either one in quite a long time.  I did try them both, and I wasn’t really a fan.  The shampoo smelled very much like men’s cologne which I did not like.  The conditioner fared better with a peppermint and rosemary scent.  I used both the other day, and I couldn’t get the shampoo to lather up the way I like.  Conditioner was fine, but still the whole event left me less than impressed.  After drying my hair, I looked like the dirty end of a broom.  What happened to the moisture?  It done took a vacay.

Usually I finish up shampoo and conditioner samples, but I’m tossing this one because it did not make my hair feel very good.  And that’s the end of that story.  Moving on.

I’ve owned the Dr. Jart+ Premium BB cream previously and it’s a really great one.  The coverage on it is practically foundation.  It covers up my splotches very well which is all I ever really want out of a foundation.  Just make me look perfect, is that too much to ask?  My mom loves this BB cream as well.  In fact, she may love it a tad more than me, and because she doesn’t have a cache of 27 partially used and almost expired foundations, I’m passing this sample along to her.  Who needs a doctor or lawyer as a daughter when you can have one that gives you gently used makeup samples for FREE.

Last thing in the box was a bonus item, a Pura Vida headband, although if they left it out of the box it would’ve made absolutely no difference.  I’m 40.  What the hell am I going to do with this headband?  I’m sure there’s some 40-year-olds out there who can tell me exactly what to do with this headband (and maybe not in a nice way), but honestly I have no use for it.  I put it on just to test it out and it stayed on pretty good.  So if you’re in the market for a good headband, I guess this one would probably be alright.  But I’ll most likely give it to my daughter.  That should get me a hug with both arms at the very least.

Time’s up!  Hope you enjoyed.  In case you didn’t notice, I’m behind again.  Ugh.  It’s hard being obsessed with so many things.  As soon as YouTube and Instagram go out of business, I’m pretty sure things will get back on track. Until then, I’ll just go on and be a hot mess.  Bye loves!

I just spent five hours on YouTube watching women paint their fingernails.  I’m not even sure that’s normal.  In fact, if you’re looking for the definition of crazy, you’d find it at my house on the couch with a set of earbuds in.  I have zero excuses other than the fact I found it oddly soothing.  There was just something about the straight lines of a squared off fingernail that literally made me feel comforted and that all was right with the world.  Oh my god, who’s the weirdo?!  ME.  Let’s move on.

Here’s my Birchbox:

Not a particular fan of this box.  There were too many single-use pouches in it, and it made me think bad thoughts.  I suppose I should keep my opinions to myself when all I spent was a mere $10, but then there would be no blog and think of all the wars and poverty THAT would cause.  No, it’s best we keep it honest around here.  The world depends on it.

Ugh.  Shut up, Brain.

First item is the Beauty Protector Body Wash.  This was actually pretty good, if you judge your body washes by smell that is.  And if you like cotton candy.  This little sample only lasted through 3 or 4 baths, but it was enough.  Smelled good, nice lather.  What else can you say about a body wash?  Turns out, not much.  Nexxxxt.

Perhaps the oddest thing I’ve ever received is this Chosungah 22 Flavorful Lipstick.  When I twisted it up out of the tube it had a clear orange see-through bullet.  Reminded me exactly of orange Jello.  I love things that are reminiscent of food (aside from actual food) so you can imagine my excitement.  Now it’s called “flavorful” lipstick, so naturally I had to have a little taste.  Don’t ask why I opted to lick the bullet instead of just licking my lips.  I was alone in the house at the time, otherwise you know the 1/100th of a second it would take to lick the lipstick would be that EXACT second my hubby decides to walk in the room.  Cuz that’s the way my life works, EACH AND EVERY TIME.

Regardless, it had zero flavor so I have no idea what they’re talking about.  At this point, I’m feeling a little ashamed I just went for it like that.  And applying it was pretty much a non-event after I had hyped it up in my head so much.  Felt like a lip balm.  Pretty much clear in color even though some people were saying there was a tint (they’re wrong).  Wore off very quickly and didn’t moisturize.  I’ll still use it in the evenings after I wash my face, but it’s definitely not worth carrying around for any medicinal purpose.  Fun to look at, but that’s where the excitement ends.

Next is a couple packets of LA Fresh Makeup Remover Wipes.  I did not like these one bit.  I only used one packet because the smell hurt my tummy.  I saved the other packet for a friend cuz when something doesn’t smell good, the first thing you want to do is force it on other people.  Although I did see a few reviewers on the Birchbox site saying they thought the smell was lovely.  Lovely is not the word I’d use, but then again I don’t review while drinking.  These weren’t particularly wet either, so I knew it would take light years to remove my mascara.   I gave up about mid-swipe and went back to my regular routine.  I just don’t have time to mess with things that take away from Pajama Time.

I’ve already owned the Miracle Skin Transformer Face BB Cream and it is a product I really like.  The coverage is rather light, but it does perfect the skin nicely.  I’ve reviewed it before, most notably in my very first Empties post back in January 2014, so please feel free to click here and read it.  It’s a tiny blurb but everything in it is still true.

As a bonus, I also got to try the Miracle Skin Transformer Miracle Revival Mud mask.  Of course I only got one use out of it, but it was a nice mask.  Felt pretty gentle and didn’t have an overpowering smell.  I was reading up on it and saw where it’s great for oily/combo skin (that’s me!) and that Paula’s Choice gave it their highest score – which I trust since Paula cares about the science part of a product whereas I care just about packaging.  So most likely I’ll buy the full size of this at some point.  I do have quite a cache of masks to get through first.

Last item in the box and perhaps the most snore inducing is the Harvey Prince Sea Salt Texturizing Mist.  Seriously, someone’s a comedian cuz they keep sending me HARVEY PRINCE EVERYTHING! complete with jazz hands and confetti – even though I’ve made it quite clear I’m over Harvey Prince and all his billion perfumes and body lotions and now (apparently) his sea salt mist.  How many more products does this man make?  Certainly I’ve owned them all by now?  Should be good for the rest of my life, I think.

Now I know there’s people out there who like texturizing sprays.  They enjoy making beach hair without the hassle of going to the beach.  I get it – I’d rather sit in my office too.  But there’s just something about sleek and shiny hair that I can’t give up.  And if I ever have time to actually do a hairstyle, it’s usually to curl everything under like a true Woman of the ’90s.  Anything other than those two hairstyles and I kindly bow out.  If you go on the Birchbox site and check out the reviews, roughly 3000 people loved it.  So what do I know?  Apparently NOTHING.

That’s it; we’re done.  Thanks for hanging out today.  One more review for May then it’s on to June.  And then winter will be next.  Ugggghhhh.  Time needs to slow down just a skosh.  For one I kept getting to be more 40 and I’m not sure I like it.

Toodles!

I tried to act like those four packages sitting on the porch were not for me.  But hubby is getting good.  He used to not say anything, but now he deliberately looks at our front door as I drive past it to the garage.  STOP IT WITH YOUR EYES.  I write a beauty blog for a living.  Just because no one pays me to do it doesn’t mean I don’t have business expenses.  It’s basic mathematics.  And you can’t argue with that kind of logic.

Here’s my Birchbox:

First off, this box was delayed over 10 days on it’s journey between Indiana and Missouri.  How does this even happen?  I could probably walk and get it myself in less than 10 days.  That would be a sight to see, though.  Last time I walked it was to the copy machine or mailbox.  And then I had to go sit down and rest for the next 2 hours.  I’m a little out of shape you might say.

I don’t know about you, but when I get a product that I know darn well sits in the free amenity tray of the local Hampton Inn, it somehow negates the experience of receiving said product in a beauty box I pay for.  Enter the Neil George body wash.  Nothing against it necessarily, but you get what I’m saying.  However, in fairness, I haven’t actually seen this product in a hotel but I know with 100% certainty it comes from Gilchrist & Soames who truly does put products in hotels.  So Neil George is guilty by association at the very least.

BUT.  I will use it.  It’s body wash.  The scent of it is called Grapefruit Sage but I detected no hint of citrus anything.  Definitely masculine and herby.  Two of my most unfavorite smells.  Success!  The tube is relatively small so I’ll finish the whole thing, but I’m gonna go ahead and complain about it the whole time.  K?  K.

One product I did enjoy was the Supergoop! eye cream.  It’s really nice.  It has the consistency of marshmallow cream (delicious) and a little goes a very long way.  The finish of it is less velvety than my most recent eye creams, but there is a very noticeable brightening effect to it.  It would be the perfect daytime eye cream especially due to its SPF properties (of 37, which is such an odd random number).  I used it in the evening just one time, but I’m going to put it away and save it for when I finish my current daytime product.  Which will probably take light years, cuz I’ve been working at it for 5 months now and there’s no end in sight.  My perseverance really backfires on me sometimes.

Next is the Temple Spa Peace Be Still face and body balm.  Don’t get too excited – it’s just lotion.  I’ll admit I was sucked in too.  A body balm?!  Nope, still a lotion.  That is 100% less interesting.

This is yet another product in the box that I will still use despite the fact it’s boring as hell.  One thing to note, however, is that it can be used on hands, body AND face.  I don’t know if that makes it better or worse than using three separate products – I suppose it depends on your level of lazy.  I mean, I’m terribly lazy but I also have an anal personality so I like having specific lotions for specific parts.  This is why I have a 17-step skincare regimen.  I’m not interested in your 3-in-1s, but thanks.

Aside from all that, this product is fine for what it is.  Smells like herbs once again.  I checked the website and it’s official scent is lemon, coriander and nutmeg.  Does this make you want to rub it all over your body?  If the answer is yes, you should buy this.  Also, you’re WRONG.

I was perfectly fine with getting another tube of Anastasia Beverly Hills clear brow gel because I love it so much.  If you want proof, click here and see for yourself.  I don’t know what it is about this particular gel but nothing else I’ve ever tried has stood up to it.  So stop wasting time if you’re on a mission:  your mission is over.  Time for pajamas.

Last product is the Vasanti BrightenUp! face exfoliator.  I was not too keen on this product.  An exfoliator?  Like with the beads and stuff?  Eh.  But a couple people on my Instagram told me it was one of their favorite things.  That’s two people in one day that told me – so naturally, I was intrigued.  The premise of this stuff is to exfoliate but also to instantly brighten the complexion.  Plus it helps with fine lines, wrinkles, scaring and large pores.  Well I don’t know about that last part, but I had the most radiant complexion of my life after using this one time.  That is not a typo.  I loved it.  The beads were ultra fine – finer than any scrub I’ve ever used – and they wiped away mostly clean.  You can use it 3-5 times a week, which makes me happy cuz when I love something I tend to smother it to death.  Just ask my daughter; she’ll tell you.

Hope you’ve had a great last day of April.  Thank you for hanging out as always, reading to the ends of my posts and whatnot.  If it wasn’t for you guys, I’d be sitting here talking to myself and that is A) weird and B) sad, so I appreciate your effort and loyalty.  See you in May!

March is quickly coming to an end, which means my second wedding anniversary will be here in less than a month.  Which also means first day of pampering starts April 1 and lasts for approximately 30 days (i.e., the rest of his life).  I’m sure he had no idea being married to me was going to be so hard.  I mean, I have an extraordinary amount of pajama lounging scheduled for the next 50 years (aka var var busy), so who’s doing the dishes?  Who’s buying the Sephora gift cards?  Isn’t that why we have husbands in the first place?  Pretty sure that’s written in a rule book somewhere. 

Here’s my Birchbox:

I already own a little sample of the Cover|FX BB Gel but I was alright in getting another one because of how much I like the product.  However, my previous one is in the shade N Medium (perfect) and this new one is in the shade N Light (not perfect).  So it won’t work.  Bit of a bummer really, and even worse, I don’t know anybody with lighter skin than me that can use it.  So I have this full tube of product and nowhere to go with it.  Tossing it in the trash makes my heart practically stop beating.  In other words, thank you Birchbox for putting me in the midst of this emotional conundrum.  I can literally feel the struggle in my chest.  I need a gift card for pain and suffering.  I don’t see any other way around it.
 

But back to the product.  It’s a very nice BB cream.  One of the better ones I’ve used.  Has really great coverage, nice matte finish, and it blends in very well.  I’d consider buying a full tube of it if I didn’t already have 27 other foundations to get through before they all expire.  I’ll admit I didn’t plan that out very well.  I’m debating on the scientific repercussions of using an expired foundation.  If it doesn’t stink or have mold in the lid, I think it would be safe.  I’m probably wrong and about to run head first into a face-falling-off scenario.  However, I’ll risk it because DIOR. CHANEL. GUCCI.  I’m sorry, what is your question?

Lookie, it’s our good friend Harvey Prince with yet ANOTHER perfume sample for me, this time called Sincerely.  No disrespect to Harvey Prince by any means, but can you kindly quit sending your sample perfumes to every beauty box I subscribe to?  How many does this make now, 18, 19?  That’s not even a typo.  I think they’ve sent me all of them.  Even the people I give them to are getting tired.  They’re like, Harvey Prince, again?  We share a nice, communal eye roll moment, so if anything, HP brings people together.  But other than that, unless I’m going for a world record or something, I’m pretty much done with the perfume.

But for those who need to know, here are the notes:  Indian tuberose, Turkish cyclamen (otherwise knows as that’s not a thing), and Spanish mandarin.  Sounds pretty exotic, a little spicy, a bit sweet.  If that’s your thing, maybe you should give this a try.  Mom used it and she said it did not smell that great on first spritz, but after the dry-down, it was nice.  I agreed.  It didn’t stink.  That’s my formal review for you: it didn’t stink.

Best thing in the box is this Mirenesse Glossy Kiss lipstick in Cheeky Kiss.  What a pretty pink nude.  Super creamy, good color payoff.  Wasn’t particularly long lasting, nor was it overwhelmingly glossy, but it was not drying at all.  I liked it so much, I tossed it in my already overflowing lipstick bag I carry in my purse cuz it’s a color that will go with just about everything.  Now, they say this doubles as a cheek stain as well.  I’m not really interested in going that route with it I don’t think.  But it’s an option for you if you are so inclined.

I’m not gonna lie: kind of scared of the Amika Bombshell Blowout Spray.  Anytime I get a volumizing hair product, I cringe.  My hair is fine with grease-prone roots.  I need to be spraying shit in there like I need someone to take away my Visa card (i.e., I DON’T).  So obviously I haven’t used this yet.  But I intend to.  I’m going to give it a try this week actually, bite the bullet, take a risk.  I’ve been reading the reviews and some people say it makes their hair sleek, shiny and smooth and others say specifically not to put it on your roots even though the directions tell you to.  Other things I read that perked my interest: cuts drying time down (Cuz who has 15 years handy to stand around blow drying hair? Not me.  See first paragraph where I mention all the pajama lounging I have scheduled.  It’s lots.), non-greasy (we’ll see about that), and lightweight.  Things that scared the bejeebus out of me:  sticky and greasy (But what about the non-greasy claim?  See why I’m pertrified?!), and they couldn’t tell a difference (then what is the point?).  In general though, people seem really pleased with it.  So I’m gonna give it a go for my people.  Cuz PROFESSIONAL.  Also CRAZY.

A couple of boring items finish out the box. It’s the Number 4 Clarifying shampoo and Reconstructing Masque.  I say boring cuz it’s just shampoo and a hair mask.  I’m not against them or anything – I mean, I use shampoo (and sometimes masks), primarily cuz society says it’s required. And the HR Department.  But it’s never anything that exciting.  Unless it’s something that can cut out blow drying and styling completely, these are just basic necessities for me.

Having said that, though, the shampoo is the clarifying kind which is meant to use weekly to remove all the build up from the hair.  Because I don’t use much by way of styling products, I assume there isn’t much build up anyway, but it really does make my hair feel very clean.  There’s just something about putting clear shampoo into your hair that makes you feel like you’ve done something good for the environment.  That makes absolutely no sense.  Shut up, Brain.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is I’m not opposed to buying a full size of this although I could probably find a drugstore equivalent that doesn’t cost me $32.

As for the mask, it was okay.  Nice and thick, which I prefer because I’ve had the other kind and it felt like it disappeared right into my hair.  There was nothing spectacular or game-changing about it though, not even the smell left much of an impression, so I’m glad (for once) I got a single-use packet instead of something bigger.

We’ve reached the end and now it’s nap time.  Thanks for stopping by today.  I have one last review left for March, and then I’m going to stop being so darn boring.  I keep finding new things to entertain me (new YouTubers, mainly) and it’s encroaching on proper blog time.  I promise to do better.  If anyone wants to send gift cards for good wishes, just let me know.  Bye!

I’m stressed.  After my trip to LA and a very disastrous weekend drive to St. Louis (in snow, 5 hours, with a 4 year old), my husband and I have approximately 57 hours of TV shows stored on the DVR that need to GO AWAY.  Does anyone else feel claustrophobic when this happens?  Does anyone else get a perverse sense of accomplishment when the DVR is clean and tidy?  No, just me?  Figures.

What I’m trying to say is, while I had every intention of putting up my final two February box reviews prior to the end of February (as expected), you can blame this scheduling fiasco on DirecTV and the fact a DVR actually exists.  Dang you, Technology!  What happened to the good old days when I tried to tape a week’s worth of All My Children and Regis & Kelly on two rotating VHS tapes, get them all confused on which tape has which newest episode, and then finally say FECK IT and stop watching television altogether because my OCD had hit its breaking point?

Did you get the hives just now, cuz I sure did.  Here’s my Birchbox:

Got this Juice Beauty Blemish Clearing Cleanser, which lately I’ve been needing.  My face was looking pretty good about a week ago, until my left cheek started a riot right in the middle of Disneyland.  Like literally I had zero zits walking in and one zit walking out.  Whyyyyyeeeee?  Where is your loyalty?!  I wash you, moisturize you, pamper the ever-lovin’ shit out of you, and this is how I am repaid.  Left Cheek:  we are no longer friends.

Anyway, it’s clearing up pretty good now, but it’s the second time in that exact same spot within the past month that I got a pimple.  What are the odds of that?  There may be a scientific mathematical ratio equation in there somewhere, considering how much face I have.  So as soon as I finish up my current cleanser, I’ll go ahead and give this one a go.  See if it helps me not break out.  Cuz if there’s one thing that ruins a flawless, supermodel-type complexion, it’s a dadgum zit.  I’m 40.  It’s time to stop it.

Then there is the Gilchrist & Soames Spa Therapy Sea Wrack body wash.  First of all, to get the obvious question out of the way, what is Sea Wrack?  I looked it up for the sake of this blog, and sometimes I think I should just be less professional.  Cuz sea wrack is detached seaweed that is thrown up by the sea, and which is often used to make manure, or in this case, a soap that you rub all over your body.  There are two terrible things in that sentence; if you have to guess what they are, well I admire your knack for ignoring unpleasantries.  I, on the other hand, am on the verge of a panic attack.

But despite all that and strangely enough, this body wash smells so wonderful.  It reminds me of a chlorine swimming pool, but in more of a beachy way.  And it suds up like a champ.  I liked it a lot and quite possibly want a full size of it.  We just won’t mention that poop thing ever never again.

Next is a theBalm Read My Lips lip gloss in the color Bam!  There isn’t a whole lot I can say here other than it’s a typical lip gloss.  Pretty nude pink shade.  Not sticky.  Doesn’t stink.  It’s not a holy grail product, though.  If I lost it in an airport, I wouldn’t cause a TSA nightmare-inducing scenario.  (Unlike my near-miss with the Marc Jacobs one I left on the conveyor belt in Las Vegas and realized at the very last minute, right before some stranger almost put it in their pocket – I’ll karate chop you in throat over that; I highly DO. NOT. RECOMMEND.)

Totally in love with the BeautyBlender I got as I have been meaning to get myself a backup.  I love using a BeautyBlender to apply foundation.  I don’t use it all the time because I feel it needs to be cleaned like almost constantly, but it does give a nice effect on the skin.  Airbrushed and flawless, or as flawless as I can get with a giant red angry zit on my left cheek.  But in any case, if you’ve never tried a BeautyBlender before, I approve so go ahead and put it in your basket.  I am the boss of you.  We’ve been over this.

It did come with a little disc of cleanser, which I have not used yet.  Just looks like a bar of soap or something.  A little messy as it does not come with a covered soap dish, which I don’t understand.  Who uses bar soap all willy nilly like that?  (Crazy people.)  But it’s specially made to be used with the BeautyBlender so I imagine it should spiff it up rather nicely.  We’ll see.  I’ll use it even if I have to wrap it up in Saran Wrap afterwards like a damn hobo.

Last but not least is this packet of BeeKind conditioner.  What is missing, you ask? Why, its shampoo packet buddy of course!  What is the point of sending just the conditioner?  Seriously, who does this benefit?  Certainly not my hair since I’ll never even use it up there.  Looks like Birchbox sent me shaving cream then, cuz that’s all lonely conditioner packets are good for – shaving my legs.  It’s actually a pretty good deal.  At this point, I rarely buy real shaving cream cuz of all the conditioner leftovers I own.  That’s called SAVING MONEY, and anytime saving money is involved, there’s a Sephora haul not too far away.

So here we are at the end of yet another post.  Thank you so much for putting up with me and making it all the way to the bottom like a true friend.  Y’all are the best, I swear.  Have a great rest of your day and I’ll be back again (hopefully) tomorrow with my last February review – in March, but until there’s a Blog Police, I do what I want.  Toodles!

This weekend my husband and I drove 45 minutes out of town to eat Italian food at this restaurant in the middle of nowhere.  I say middle of nowhere because it literally drops off the map due to A) they don’t take debit cards and B) my cell phone wouldn’t work in there.  I seriously had to spend the next two hours NOT on Instagram.  Clearly this sounds like torture, and if you’d like to send me a Get Well token, I like gift cards.

Here’s my Birchbox:

Ho hum pigs bum.  Were you about to say that too?  Cuz it’s true.  Not much to get overly excited about.  It’s not the worst box they’ve ever sent me, though.  I’ll at least use everything in here.  Not with a smile, mind you, but I’ll use them.

I have nothing against the Neil George shampoo and conditioner, but Birchbox has committed a beauty box sin.  I get five samples, Birchbox.  FIVE.  Shampoo and conditioner is a set – they go together, they are one in the same (aside from being different, that is).  I mean, sure you can have a peanut butter sandwich with no jelly, a hamburger with no fries, or a NARS eyeshadow with no Guerlain lipstick.  But do you want to, really?  If you have to consider this question for longer that 2.57 seconds, you may have stumbled upon this blog by accident.

My point is (there is one), I got cheated because someone decided that shampoo and conditioner equaled two individual things when they clearly ARE NOT.  It’s basic math.

But back to the product review.  This set is just fine.  Not too expensive as far as something non-drugstore goes ($9 each).  I was happy to see the shampoo is clear, as I’ve been told that clear shampoos are better for your hair.  I do not know if that’s actually true since I didn’t see this claim with my own eyes.  But it does make sense.

I’m pretty sure I’ve received every Harvey Prince product in existence.  Seriously, if you do a search in this blog, I’m almost certain there’s about 17, 18 posts on his perfumes.  Probably a slight exaggeration, but when you don’t like perfume, it seems like 17 or 18 posts.  At the least.  Anyway, this time they sent a body cream in the Hello scent.  So while I wasn’t overly thrilled or anything, I knew I would use it about 100% more than I’d use another perfume.  Minor success; I’ll take them wherever I can.

This stuff aptly smells like perfume.  But it’s a nice musky scent, which if I’m forced to wear a perfume, I like ’em musky.  Most likely stems from my overuse of Coty Wild Musk as a teenager – my first love.  As far as the cream part goes, it takes a bit to rub in as the white doesn’t melt into your skin immediately.  It’s not a thin lotion consistency, which is probably why they’ve called it a cream.  Hopefully you’ve come here for some obvious information cuz that’s exactly what you got.  I am a PROFESSIONAL, in case you didn’t know.

Y’all know how much I love my Sumita Beauty black eyeliner.  It is hands down the best I’ve ever used in my waterline.  So I was perfectly cool with getting one of their Color Contrast eyeliners in the shade Hansa which is an olive green.  Certainly it would be just as amazing, or that was my expectation anyway.  I don’t know if it’s the color – it’s not a very vibrant olive green, which I suppose is the trademark of olive green (again with the obvious) – but it doesn’t last like the black does.  In fact, I’m looking right now this very second and after 10 hours of wear, the color is barely detectable.  Granted, 10 hours is a very long time, but my black one stays on for over 12.  Okay, I’m being a brat.

I’m not sure if I’m going to keep the liner.  I haven’t tried it on my top lid though, so maybe I’ll try that first before I get rid of it.  Give it the benefit of the doubt.  Not every liner is meant for the waterline – and this one, at least this olive green one, definitely is not.

Last item in the box is the saving grace.  It’s the Miracle Skin Transformer Treat & Conceal eye and face concealer, and I’m loving it so much.  A little tiny bit is all you need.  It’s a dry formula; it sets into a powder.  And surprisingly it didn’t make me look crepey or extra old which a lot of dry, powdery formulas tend to do. I haven’t used it on face splotches or pimple scars yet, but you totally can. But as an under eye treatment, it’s pretty good. One of the better ones I’ve tried. And I’ve tried a lot. Cuz I write a beauty blog and also I have a problem.

Well we’re done now. I’ve got a long awaited Buying Stuff post right around the corner, so stay tuned for that. I know you’re excited (cuz I am the boss of you). Toodles, loves!

Don’t mind me.  I’m just sitting over here playing with my new iPad Air 2 that my husband got me for Christmas, even though we made an agreement not to do gifts this year.  I’d say I was furious, but that would be a lie.  You read the part where he bought me an iPad Air 2, right?  So even though I gave him nothing in return (except for my undying love for eternity and whatnot), I’m having the best time.

Here’s my Birchbox:

I’ve received the Rusk Texture Dry Finishing Spray in one of my previous boxes, and I passed it along to someone else that time too.  I don’t use products like this.  My hair is too fine and I have zero extra minutes in the morning to do anything more than comb it.  Now, if Rusk could come out with a finishing spray that tames the poufy, I may consider that.  According to the Birchbox review page, however, most people like this.  It adds texture and volume to your hair when sprayed on the roots.  Now, I have long, all-one-length hair so not sure what kind of texture I can make with a can of texture spray.  Sticky-uppy, maybe?  Dunno.  But it smells good so that’s nice.

You’re welcome for that in-depth, very informative review.  Blogging success today.  Getting back into pajamas now.

Received the very boring Acure Lip Lush lip gloss in the shade Date Worthy, a medium rose nude.  Also described as completely sheer/practically clear once applied on your lips.  There is really nothing special about this lip gloss for me.  I mean, I suppose it serves a purpose if all you want is a little shine and that’s it.  Or if you want lips that smell like candy.  Maybe if you have nothing else around this would be alright.  But honestly, I could lose it in the washing machine (i.e., black hole-slash-sock eater) and never shed a tear.  However, it’s not sticky, which is pretty important, and it has Echinacea stem cell in it, which sounds made up but kind of makes me mildly curious anyway.

And now for the Dr. Jart+ Black Label Detox BB cream.  I didn’t hate getting this in the box, but I used it once and then passed it along to my mother who is a big Dr. Jart+ fan.  I’ve come across BB creams that wow me (Miracle Skin Transformer is one), and this one is just okay.  Decent enough coverage, although not quite enough for my splotchy complexion.  If you are already flawless, you’d probably be just fine.  We wouldn’t like you very much, but that’s beside the point.  This product comes in one universal shade, so it takes out 100% of the guesswork, which is very much appreciated by (OCD, anxiety-ridden, indecisive) me.  But I just don’t love it enough to keep it.  I have 27 foundations; I need to stay picky.

Got this very pretty Vasanti Kajal Extreme eyeliner in Rose Gold as my pick-your-own-sample choice.  As if I don’t already have enough eyeliners.  But I didn’t have this color, and if you’re going to be obsessed, you at least need to do it properly.  The color is pretty light if you’re trying to use it on top of eyeshadow, even champagne colored eyeshadow.  But it looks really lovely under the lower lashes.  Very feminine and dainty.  I liked it a lot.  It’s metallic and creamy.  If you buy the full size it will come with a built in sharpener and smudger.  Yay for bonuses!

Last item is the SeaRX Anti-wrinkling Serum.  The last time I tried a SeaRX product, it was a body moisturizer and I really loved it.  So I’m looking forward to trying the serum.  The reviews online sounds like most people like this except for the fact there isn’t much in the tube to generate a qualified review.  Sounds like my posts on a regular basis, although if you’re using my reviews as part of a scientific study, I’m afraid you’re gonna have to start over.  Sorry bout it.  So it sounds like this one will end up in an Empties post very soon.  I’m going to get started on it next.  Keep an eye out.

Okay, we’re done for the day.  Looking forward to a weekend full of nothing with the one exception of going to Best Buy to purchase an iPad case.  Totally worth wearing pants for.  Toodles!

As much as I love buying makeup and skin care, as much as I love a good sale and hate to waste a coupon, I refuse to wake up at three in the morning just to stand in line for four hours waiting to score one of five super cheap TVs, Playstations or life-size Elsa dolls.  There may be a math problem in that sentence for someone, but it pretty much boils down to this:  if it involves pants, lots of waiting, and a possible bloody nose, I kindly bow out.  I haven’t Black Friday shopped once in my life.  That’s why the internet was invented, people.  Do you not know this?

Here’s my Birchbox:

First of all, they stuck a little piece of Vosges Pink Himalayan Crystal Salt Caramel in my box, and I almost didn’t get this picture taken before I discreetly and ladylikely inhaled it.  Ugh.  So delicious.  I will take a million of them, thanks.  It’s not a hard caramel either; it’s liquid – the kind where you have to tilt your head back to bite into unless you’d like a caramel trail oozing down your chin.  Not that I’m opposed to that or anything.  I can think of worse things oozing down your chin.  Hot pizza cheese, grease from a jalapeno popper.  Toothpaste foam.  My point is, eat this caramel.  It’s divine.

A beauty box wouldn’t be proper without the forever unwanted perfume sample.  Aside from that, though, enough with the Harvey Prince already.  Lordt.  I think I’ve received his entire scent collection by now.  Seriously, do a search on this blog and report back.  Pretty sure I’ve reviewed like 15 of them.  This time I got the Petaly Noir version.  It’s a Birchbox exclusive, so don’t even think of buying this somewhere else.  If you must buy this at all.

According to my research, this is a very, very feminine scent.  Notes are lily of the valley, jasmine, orchid, patchouli, sandalwood, amber, with slight hints of vanilla and musk.  It is mysterious, provocative, captivating.  Do you want this yet?  It’s also described as “insanely great” which sounds like someone lost their thesaurus at this point.  Or else they are trying to invoke a sexy mood, but then when you get right down to it, you laugh and laugh and ruin everything.  Can’t say that’s never happened to me before.  Anyway *blink blink* …

I’m happy with receiving the Derma e Evenly Radiant Brightening Cleanser because it’s targeted for people with uneven pigmentation, freckles, dark spots, and sun damage.  I have all those things.  I suppose I don’t mind the freckles so much, except my freckles are less cutesy and more splotchy.  They’re probably not even freckles anymore.  As my dermatologist said the last time I went and pointed out all these odd little spots on my face – oh yes, that’s typical of aging and yes, caused by aging and yup, you’re old-slash-aging.

I haven’t gotten a chance to use this yet as I’m currently working my way through something else.  But watch for it in an upcoming Empties post.  Are you excited? (Yes, you are.)

It’s safe to say I really loved the Royal Apothic Cuppa Cuppa Firming Tea Mask.  It’s a visual feast, for one.  The packaging is adorable.  You get 6 single-use tubes housed in a pretty little tin.  The mask itself comes out this luscious muted purple color.  Seriously, this could have been slug trail for all I know, but it’s PURPLE and therefore want it on my face.  I was quite surprised that the mask had a cool tingle effect that lasted the entire time I had it on.  At first I thought my face was going to fall off; I googled WebMD and he said everything was going to be fine.

The instructions say to use the entire contents of one tube and rub all over your face, neck and chest.  If you didn’t feel like all that, I know you could get a couple – maybe three – uses out of one tube.  And because the full size of 6 tubes is $58, I recommend it highly.  The product is supposed to work its magic in 8 minutes, so I set the alarm for exactly 8 minutes.  I appreciate explicit instructions and so should you.  Because I swear, if I read another “apply to eye area” I may scream.  What encompasses the eye area exactly?  Just under the eye?  Or can you add the lid, under the brow, and above the brow, too?  Or maybe a combination of under eye/under brow only?  Or perhaps just on the orbital bone?  And if that’s the case, would that be directly on the bone or just in the vicinity either slightly above or below the bone?  Yeah, nobody actually knows.

Once the timer went off, my mask wasn’t dry.  Not sure if it was supposed to be or not, but to err on the side of caution (and because the instructions told me to), I washed it off anyway.  My face felt very refreshed and smooth.  This was very much a spa-like experience for me.  All that was missing was a big fluffy white robe and little finger sandwiches.  I know I won’t buy the full size because I do feel like its kind of overpriced for the amount of uses you get.  Because y’all know I’m not opposed to pay $58 for a mask, but I’d like to be able to use it longer than (technically) six times.

Got this itty bitty baby theBalm Cindy-Lou Manizer highlighter/blush/eyeshadow all-in-one thingy. Not to be confused with the Mary-Lou or the Betty-Lou, the Cindy-Lou is a shimmery peachy pink meant to be worn pretty much wherever you want.  I tried it as a highlighter, and it is super duper subtle.  Nothing wrong with being subtle, but if I’m going to go through the trouble of applying highlighter, it bygod better show up.  Cuz I don’t add 27 steps to my morning routine for no reason.   I did not sample this as a blush or eyeshadow because I decided I didn’t want to.  I’m giving this to my daughter for her to enjoy.  But if you enjoy a subtle highlighter, then by all means, do.  It’s still a very pretty color.

Last item in the box is the Amika Nourishing hair mask.  Y’all know I’ve been loving and adoring my Carol’s Daughter Monoi hair mask, but I’m not opposed to trying different kinds.  I only got one use out of the sample they gave me so I can’t say anything regarding the long-term effects, but for the short term … ummmm, it smelled nice.  It was thick and creamy.  But when I was drying my hair, I felt like it was a little weighed down.  So perhaps it coated my strands in a little too much nourishment.  Can that even happen?  Can hair be too hydrated?  The tube says it will seal in my split ends, but I’ll just be honest with you: my hair texture has been pretty much the same for all eternity, so if I have a split end situation happening upon my head, I probably don’t even know.  My hair is poofy.  That’s about all I can say for certain.

Long story short, it’s not a bad mask for the right hair type.  I probably won’t buy it, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.  If anything, the packaging would look cute on your counter.

And now for the weird, disjointed outro.  Maybe one day I’ll come up with some clever way to end my posts.  But for now, let’s just stick with awkward.  Bye!

As you can see by the lack of posts over the weekend that I was unable to get out of the social time I was forced into by my husband.  I’m sorry, I just like pajamas.  If I’m required to wear actual clothes, chances are I’m hating every bit of whatever I’m doing.  Unless I’m at Sephora.  Or Ulta.  Or Starbucks.  But after all that, definitely not happy.

Here’s my Birchbox:

Ehhhhh.  Did you just take a nap?  Cuz I did.

Okay, that’s not fair.  I got two good things and one okay thing.  In the beauty box world, they call that success, don’t they?  I mean, it’s hard to cater to everyone without irritating at least a few.  I try to remember that, aside from being only $10 (which I can easily waste by idling my car with the heater on in the employee parking lot during my lunch hour), it’s hard to please 100% of the people 100% of the time.

Let’s do the poo-poos first.  The Mally High Shine Liquid Lipstick.  You’d think I’d love something like this.  But then you would be wrong.  For something to call itself lipstick, it sure is sheer.  I own three of them now (not on purpose), and every single one of them is yes, shiny, but no, not a lipstick.  Unless you like barely there color, or if you prefer something closer to lipgloss, then my advice is to pass.  However, the formula isn’t sticky, so if I can say one nice thing, that’d be it.

Next poo is the Tocca perfume in the Florence scent.  Nothing wrong with this if you like to own perfume.  But if you’ve been reading my blog since the beginning of time (or roughly, December 2013) then you’d know how much I don’t like perfume.  So seeing this in my box is never a welcomed sight.  But for those who need to know, here are the notes:  (top) bergamot, grapefruit leaves, green apple, pear; (middle) gardenia, violet; and (bottom) blonde wood, white musk.  Seeing all that written out like that, it certainly sounds like something I’d enjoy smelling.  And it doesn’t smell bad by any means.  But I’m just gonna move on now cuz I’m boring myself to sleep.  And this post ain’t even halfway done yet.

Things are starting to get a little better at this point.  Received a little jar of the Suki exfoliating cleanser.  This stuff smells very much like furniture polish, but then again, lemon-scented things tend to do that to me.  I used it last night, and I liked how well it applied.  The scrubby bits weren’t too harsh feeling.  You add a little water to your face, and things start to foam up a bit.  But my favorite part was wiping it away.  It didn’t leave scrubby bit residue like some of the other exfoliators I’ve used.  I don’t know if it was my lucky day or what, but usually I end up wiping these off my face for awhile, even after applying moisturizer.  I’m not sure I love it enough to buy a full-size, but I will enjoy what I have while I have it.

Now we gonna end on a couple of high notes.  I got a serum.  Most specifically, the Paula’s Choice Skin Recovery Super Antioxidant Concentrate serum.  I’ve tried another of Paula Choice’s serums, and it was so nice (texturally).  I’m excited to get to try another one.  This one is labeled for dry or very dry skin.  I have dry areas in the dead of winter, so I’m gonna have to wait before using.  But that’s okay.  I only have about 27 other serums to work my way through first.

Last but not least, and quite possibly the most exciting thing ever, is the Jouer Matte Moisture Tint.  I have been wanting Birchbox to send me something from Jouer for over a year and finally, finally, my dream has been realized.  Don’t even ask why I’ve been so excited.  It’s all part of my plan to own all the things which doesn’t make any sense to most people.  I just needed something from Jouer.  I didn’t even really care what it was.  Is that stupid?  Probably.

But this moisture tint is like a BB cream I guess.  It’s moussey, has a decent amount of coverage, blends easily.  Only comes in six shades, so I hope to God it self-adjusts.  They sent me the Nude shade which is for light to medium skin.  It was a decent match, so maybe it does color correct itself.  The finish is definitely matte.  I liked it.  I thought my face looks pretty evenly toned except for some hideous discoloration on my cheek that will never die.  The sample tube they sent was pretty small, so I don’t expect to use this for very long.  But by that time, my curiousity about Jouer will have been sated and I can move on to other things.  I can’t say quite yet if I care enough to pay full price.  Have you seen my other 39 bottles of foundation?  It’s quite a glorious collection if I do say so.  They are my little foundation children and I love them all.

But what I’m saying is I don’t need another foundation.

Alright, I’m done now.  I’ve got a very big evening planned full of pajamas and what not.  See you again tomorrow!  Bye.

So, if I told you a little Gucci thing happened today, along with a teeny tiny Charlotte Tilbury thing, accompanied by a wee bit of a Dior thing, would you believe me?

Do you even read this blog?  You know the answer to that.

Here’s a Birchbox for you to love and kiss on:

Or you may just stare at with dead eyes, kind of like how I did.

Okay, that’s not fair to the Shiseido serum because that stuff I selected specifically as my spoiler item.  But everything else I either don’t want, don’t like, or have already owned.  Ho hum pigs bum.  And that’s all I have to say about that.

Except that would make for a very short and boring blog post.  So let’s discuss.  I got a little Davines OI/Absolute Beautifying shampoo, conditioner and hair oil set.  But the shampoo is a single-use packet then I’m left with this ginormous tub of conditioner. WTF am I supposed to do with conditioner all by itself?  I don’t care about the hair oil being single-use cuz I couldn’t give two spits about hair oil.  But come on with the shampoo.  And the fact that I have long hair, this may be more like a half-use packet.  I’m super not impressed right now.  This may be the most glorious shampoo in all the land, but right now I’d rather pout instead.  I have no idea when I’ll use it because at this point I can’t be bothered.  Boo.

Aside from all that, this particular kind of shampoo and conditioner is for shine, softness and body.  My three favorite hair adjectives.  So it may work out after using it once that I fall in love.  It’s happened before.  Have I mentioned Carol’s Daughter to anyone?  Yes? Welll, it’s true.

Since Birchbox has been letting us choose one of our products ahead of time, as soon as I saw the Shiseido Ultimune Power Infusing Concentrate was being offered, I didn’t even care what the other choices were.  I love serums and all their (sometimes empty) promises.  I want to try them all, own them all, hoard them all.  Using serums makes me feel like I’m pampering myself, doing something special.  I may be applying floral scented Crisco on my face for all I know, but the idea of it, the hope that it’s going to replace my old face with a new one, that’s what keeps me coming back for more.

According to Shiseido, after 1 week skin appears to glow more than ever.  My skin doesn’t glow at all, so this sounds amazing.  After 4 weeks, it’s supposed to improve firmness and resilience all while making wrinkles less visible.  But honestly, they had me at glow.  Anything after that is just a bonus.

Got my second tube of Yu-Be Moisturizing Skin Cream, and let me just say how I didn’t even use the first tube.  I dunno.  What do you use this for?  Cuticles?  Dry elbows?  If you ask the Japanese, it’s a miracle cream.  Maybe I should probably listen cuz I’ve not once seen a wrinkled Japanese, have you?  Ideas for use include application on lips, cracked heels, or anywhere there’s dry patches on the skin.  Recommended use is after bathing.  So most likely I’ll end up putting this cream on my callused pinky toes where I keep my high heel injuries.  Seriously, if you poked me in the pinky toe with a sharp pencil, the only thing I’d wonder about is why you’re in the floor with a pencil.  Get up.  That’s how crazy starts.

Next item is this pinkish gold liquid highlighter by Temptu.  First of all, let me say that this is a really pretty color, especially if you have cool-toned skin.  It’s shimmery and feminine.  Put a drop on your hand, rub it around with your finger, then dab it on the top of your cheekbones, Cupid’s Bow, inner corner of your eye, anywhere you want an extra glow.  The downside is that it’s liquid.  As in a takes-more-effort-than-a-powder kind of liquid.  I don’t have time to be messing with a liquid in the mornings.  In fact, if you measured my time in efforts, you may get trapped in a black hole of nothingness.  I’m not sure what that means, but if you come up with the answer ZERO, then you’d be right.  So this product gets tossed in the weekend-use-only pile, which isn’t a bad pile to be in.  It’s better than the Circular File, if you know what I mean.

Last product in the box is the Laura Mercier Full Blown Lash mascara.  I have owned a sample of this mascara before but I had to toss it due to a pink eye sort of situation.  I can’t say I was beside myself with excitement by the fact I got another one, but it’s not a bad mascara.  It applies nicely.  The brush is full of bristles, and my teeny baby lashes love brushes like that.  I had no clumping or flaking issues of any kind.  Got a decent amount of length and volume.  In other words, nothing to complain about.  I’ll use it and be grateful.  I could’ve gotten a perfume in the box instead.  And that would have been way more tragic.

All done.  Received a new credit card in the mail today, so I have lots of pretending THAT didn’t just happen going on.  So, var var busy.