I have been inundated with beauty boxes this week. They’ve never come all at once like this, and to be honest, I’m not a fan. It’s hard to discreetly receive 11 beauty boxes in the mail without your husband noticing. But when they all show up within a span of 4 days… well, it’s stink eye overload over here.

Here’s the loot:

First things first, the packets. You all know how much I love one-time use packets. And if you read my blog, you know that’s completely not true. However – and here’s an example of how I make exceptions to my own rules – I’m okay with a packet if all that’s inside is something as boring as body lotion. Take for instance, this one from AmLactin. Are you napping yet? I am. Body lotion is only interesting if, A: it doesn’t look like a pharmacy made it. And, well, that’s about it. I thought I’d have a B: and C: but I don’t.

On the other hand, it is the #1 recommended moisturizer brand by dermatologists. So good news, then! I found a B: body lotion is only interesting if it doesn’t look like a dermatologist recommended it. Am I being hateful? Probably.

Next packet is a facial cleanser from First Aid Beauty. A day prior to receiving this, I was actually looking at purchasing a full size tube from Sephora. In a clear superheroic feat of willpower, I did not. So, I was excited to see this packet, despite its hideous packetyness. However, I used it the other day, and it does not smell very good. I know I would never want to use a full size tube of this. The packet version, for once, worked out best. But that’s just our secret, k?

How about a 100% organic cotton face cloth from Suki? No? Okay, moving along.

Got a tube of StriVectin Intensive Concentrate for Stretch Marks and Wrinkles. About got carpal tunnel just typing that out, just FYI. Certainly someone could’ve came up with a shorter name? Something without the words stretch marks and wrinkles in it? Blah.

Anyway, this must be an old version of this cream because StriVectin’s website now calls it Advanced Intensive. I could be wrong, though, but it’s something I noticed. Regardless, I do have stretch marks (no!) and wrinkles (NO!), and now that I’m fully feeling miserable about myself, thanks for the cream.

I’m excited about the itty bitty tube of Laura Gellar Spackle Under Makeup Primer. I already own the color correcting one, which I love, so I’m cool with sampling another version. Plus, anything with the name spackle in it sounds like something I definitely need to be putting on my face. Cover it up and level it out, I always say. And replace my face with a new one. Thanks.

Look at that huge tube of moisturizer from DCL. Just look at it. I’m going to own that for at least 15 years. They sent me the ultra-light hydrator one, which sounds alright. When I get around to sampling it, I’ll let you know.

Now this product I am super excited to try. It’s the SkinCeuticals Hydrating B5 Gel. And why am I super excited to try it, you ask? Welllll. It comes with a dropper. What more reason do you need?

I am also excited about the Paula’s Choice Skin Perfecting 2% BHA Liquid. It’s a leave-on exfoliant that will hopefully cure the black hole abyss-like pore situation on my face. It claims to do that so we will see.

Got another microdermabrasion cleanser, this time from Miracle Skin Transformer. They make my favorite BB cream, so here’s to hoping they have other good products. They are expensive so that’s a good sign.

Or should be.

Last thing in the box is a pair of eye patches from Talika. I’ve never used eye patches before, but just like the eye patches I got in last month’s Glossybox, you have to wear them for 30 minutes. So looks like I’m gonna have to take off work just so I can wear these things. Otherwise, I won’t have the time.

Why can’t skin care just work instantly? I mean, do they even know how long 30 minutes is? It’s like roughly 15 hours or something.

Well, that’s it for today. I’ll be back soon though. I got 3 boxes in the mail just today, so I’m already behind. Good night!