Tag Archives: Too Faced

Buying Stuff: Episode 25

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I’m addicted to following manicured nail pictures on Instagram.  But not just any manicure – I only want to look at perfect ones with square cut nails and tidy cuticles.  They soothe my soul like nothing else.  Or like a Xanax maybe.  And because of this new found insanity, I have become inspired to paint my nails more often.  Like I want to be one of those girls with perfect square cut nails and tidy cuticles.    I want to soak my fingers in a bowl of warm olive oil too.  I want someone to suck all the fat out of my thighs.  That last one has nothing to do with a manicure, but if someone could get that arranged, that’d be great.

I bought stuff!  Let’s look:

Picked up this Besame Brightening Violet Powder because of its adorable 50s-era packaging.  It literally looks as if it walked right off the pages of an old Avon catalog.  Precious!  Back when I bought it, Sephora just started carrying the brand and this was the single solitary item it offered.  Now they have two other versions of the powder.  The idea behind the violet one is that it will brighten up sallow skin – and it may simply be psychological brain trickery for all I know – but I’d swear it does just that.  The violet tone is translucent but lends a skosh of something special.  It will never appear obviously powdered, but you’ll know it’s there.  Everyone else will assume you had a face lift.

One look and you’ll know why I got this:

It’s the Sigma Lip Switch in the shade Flip Flop and it’s pretty much the raddest thing you’ve ever seen.  Check out that magical iridescence!  It gives me heart eyes immediately.  But of course something this awesome can never live up to expectations because that is how my life works.  Cuz once it’s applied to the lips, it pretty much disappears.  It’s glossy, yes, but if you want that vibrant orange/gold/pinky shift, you will have to look elsewhere.  You get it faintly at best.

I have seen some Instagram pics where people would wear black or navy lipstick and then apply these holo lipglosses and the iridescence shows up much better.  But ask me how many times I’ve worn black lipstick.  I could count on one hand the number of times.  Actually if I had ZERO hands, I could still count the number of times.  Basically what I’m saying is for now I wear this as a sheer lipgloss over my coral or orange lipsticks.  It serves a purpose.  Not a very special one, but there ya go.

Not one to be left off the bandwagon, I bought this along with 97.95764% of the rest of the world:

It’s the Anastasia Beverly Hills Contour Kit (in the light/medium version), a product I didn’t really need much less know how to use but I bought anyway because if it’s a bestseller, I WANT IT.  Same goes for pretty much anything else in life.  Your Oscar-nominated movie is spoken entirely in French and with no subtitles?  No problem!  Your Pulitzer Prize-winning book is a 700-page diatribe set in war-torn Prussia in the 17th century and most likely to cause eye spasms and involuntary napping?  GIMME.  I just refuse to not be in the know.  But also, I can obsess like it’s my damn job.  I couldn’t have walked away from this highly talked about product even if I had my feet on backwards.  You cannot deny this kind of magnetism.  The struggle is REAL.

So now that I have it, I’ve been making myself use it.  And I’m really trying, I swear.  I contour, I bronze, I highlight and set my under eye.  But I haven’t been that impressed.  I mean, it’s not a bad palette, but I don’t feel the need to hoard it or protect it with my life (cuz I will cut you over a couple of my foundations, so I know it’s possible).  The highlight (shimmery) shade is really pretty, but all the rest for me are take its or leave its.  However, I OWN THE DANG THING, and that’s what’s most important anyway.

How about something pretty:

I die!  It’s the Charlotte Tilbury K.I.S.S.I.N.G. lipstick in Coachella Coral and it is summer in a tube.  It’s has a delicious, creamy formula, stunning color, and decent longevity.  Even smells good.  What’s not to love?  Okay, maybe the $32 price tag.  But it’s just so pretty.  I was helpless, I admit.  Plus, if you never use it and just pull it out of your purse when people walk by, then it’ll last forever.  And really, isn’t that the point of designer makeup – to see and be seen?  Obviously yes.

Another hyped up product by YouTube:

I was able to resist buying the Gerard Cosmetics BB Plus Illumination Cream until I watched this stupid/amazing makeup tutorial and decided I had to have it about 2.5 seconds later.  Well, you know how it is.  If I even think there’s one iota of a chance I can have flawless, beautiful skin just like in the video, then it could be dog poo in a jar but I’m all over it anyway.  Please and thank you.

So about this stuff.  It’s pure liquid gold.  Seriously.  You put it all over your face and holy moly, you shine like brand new money.  Apply your foundation on top and then sit back to enjoy the view.   It has such a stunning effect.  Foundation looks more flawless.  There is a radiance that is subtle but noticeable.  No shimmer, just glow.  Ugh, I love it.  You can also use it alone if you want to dab some on your cheekbones or shoulders.  Or you can do a drop mixed with your moisturizer or foundation for something lighter.  Whichever way you go with it, you’re bound to love it.

Pointless Makeup Product #272:

It’s the YSL Tint in Oil, and if you just went Tint in Oil?! then we are best friends and you can continue reading this blog.  It sounds really fascinating except that it’s not.  It’s just a lip oil so we can all just go sit back down.  There is nothing to see here.

But if you must know.  I got mine in the shade Drive Me Copper.  As you can see from the swatch, it’s not very coppery.  Nor is it very any other color.  It’s a tint – I get that – but you can literally swatch it next to the other colors in the line and wouldn’t be able to tell a difference between any of them.  However, I can say a couple of good things about the product because I like to make an effort sometimes.  It’s slick and shiny, so it would make a nice glossy topper for any lip color.  It has a sticky factor of zero.  And when worn alone it feels nice and comforting.  But if you’re expecting something special in terms of a product with actual copper color (or any color), this one gets a big o raspberry.

And then there was this:

I hit pan on my teeny tiny Bare Minerals Touch-Up Veil setting powder, and it sent me into a panic.  International Powder Crisis and whatnot.  You know how it goes.  So I immediately went in search of another setting powder that I could store in my purse and apply at work after I do my mid-afternoon blotting.  The Bare Minerals one is matte, which is all well and good, but I wanted to try something different.  A glow powder.  And what better way to do it than with the Too Faced Candlelight Powder.

I’m not very good at glow powder.  Either that or I expected more than I should.  Cuz I didn’t get that “lit from within” candlelight glow I was thinking I’d get.  Instead, I got glitter and sparkle.  I’m too old for glitter and sparkle.  I had read reviews prior to purchasing, and let’s just say SHUT UP with your soft-focus, your illuminates complexion, and your inspired by actual candlelight cuz none of those things happened and my heart is broken.  It claims to be absolutely invisible, and while it is translucent, there is definite shimmer on your face.  Okay, okay, it’s not out at the club shimmer, but still.  I’m gonna keep playing around with it.  Maybe it’ll grow on me.  I mean, most people like this powder.  They’re probably all 14-year-olds, but yes, most reviews are favorable.

Last product in the haul:

Sometimes I buy things for the sake of buying something.  Take the It Cosmetics CC+ Radiance Palette for instance.  I hadn’t heard much about it.  But I walked into Ulta without an agenda, had nothing in my shopping bag for five minutes too long, and I started to get anxiety.  What if I didn’t find anything?  I couldn’t leave Ulta emptyhanded.  That’s blasphemy as far as I’m concerned.  So picking this palette up was an act of desperation at the very least.  However, I would find it useful especially when traveling since it’s basically three products in one.

My favorite is the blush.  It’s a very pretty pink with a touch of coral and looks very flattering with my skintone.  The powder is just okay.  It pulls slightly pink on me so I don’t love it, although if it came down to packing an extra powder compact or saving space with this 3-in-1, I’d do the 3-in-1.  That’s not lazy, that’s practical – and we all know how practical I can be.  Finally, the bronzer.  Looks very dark in the pan, but it does not apply that dark.  It’s matte and has a bit of a reddish undertone – in my opinion; deciphering undertones is not my strong suit.  However, it’s not my favorite bronzer.  It’s not bad, mind you, but I never want to use this palette primarily because of the bronzer.

Well, that’s what I get for not doing my research before stepping foot inside an Ulta.  It could’ve been worse though – I distinctly remember having an ice blue eyeshadow rollerball in my bag as well.  I kindly put that back on the shelf.  Anxiety is a REAL DISEASE – as you can clearly see.

Time for night night.  Thanks for continually reading my blog.  I love all my people.  Internet hugs for everyone.  Well, just the cute ones.  Bye!

Birthday Haul: Part 1

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Remember last month when it was my birthday? How I turned 40 and had to console myself with makeup? Yes, it was touch and go there for awhile. Luckily, I pulled through. Here’s why:

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Pretttttttay! I’m not even kidding when I say you need this Tarte Rainforest After Dark palette, especially cuz it’s limited edition and could disappear for all eternity at any time. I’m not being dramatic. It could be happening right now as we speak for all I know.

This palette covers all your face needs. We have six beautiful purple and gold eyeshadows, a lovely champagne highlighter, their Park Avenue Princess bronzer, and a gorgeous dusty rose blush. I love everything about this palette. I will be packing it for my trip to Vegas next month since it’s a 4-in-1 and that’ll save me room in my suitcase. Cuz I have no plans to visit the Inglot store while on vacation and buy hoards and hoards of eyeshadow. That’s pretty specific, but yeah, no plans whatsoever …

The day of my actual birthday my husband and I were going out of town. Quick stop for him to get a haircut gave me about 15 minutes to run across the street to Sephora. Look how much I can accomplish in 15 minutes:

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Well the Wet N Wild Comfort Zone palette wasn’t from Sephora but we stopped on the way out of town for that too. I had a dream about this palette and knew immediately I had to get it RIGHT NOW. I mean, when you start dreaming of specific eyeshadow palettes, that’s like the voice of God talking or something.

If you love earth tones, you will love this palette. They are gorgeous. I don’t know how I overlooked this before on my million other trips to Walgreens. So pretty. The only issue some may have is the shadows are all shimmery. No mattes. That doesn’t bode well for my old lady eyes, but I created a look with it that didn’t turn out bad at all. In fact, it looked quite stunning. It blended seamlessly, which is rather important. I highly recommend if you’re asking. For $5, I’m not even sure there’s a question.

But back to what I managed to toss in my Sephora basket in the span of 15 minutes. Make Up For Ever had a new display of these Artist Shadows and I was immediately drawn to it. There was this gorgeous orange right on top, and I couldn’t drag myself away. It looked almost like foil it was so shimmery and intense. I daydreamed a bit about what kind of eye look I could create with it, then picked up the box to toss it in my basket. And noticed –

It’s a blush. My most perfect tangerine eyeshadow is actually a blush. Heart = broken.

Well, drat. I still wanted it though and the clock was ticking. Who says you can’t use blush on your eyelids? My YouTube beauty gurus do it all the time. And I am nothing if not a beauty guru.

Ended up creating a 3-pan palette with the orange (ME734), a black purple (ME930) and a copper red (ME728). I wore all three shadows on my lids during our weekend getaway, proudly displaying my circus eyes while sipping a latte in a cafe on Sunday morning. My husband thought it was a little much for a coffee date, but what does he know? (Nothing.) Checked in the mirror to see what he was referring to and quickly declared his eyes as broken. I looked fab, end of story.

The other thing I picked up was the Too Faced Melted Lipstick in the shade Melted Fig. This is a beautifully saturated purple color. But it’s wearable too. Because it’s purple but not purple.

These lipsticks go on very smooth. They’re pigmented beyond comparison. A little glossy at first, but that fades away to an almost matte finish. Can feel a little dry on the lips after awhile, but the color does last and last and last. I don’t think I’ll buy any more of the colors, but I’m happy with what I got.

The last bit for today is this thing right here:

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Stila has came out with four new Eyes Are The Window palettes. I went back and forth for awhile trying to decide which one I wanted. Finally settled on the Mind one which has all matte shadows. Not sure of my reasoning other than in the picture, the vibrant earthy colors spoke to me the loudest.

In person, these are some pretty shadows. They just look so perfect in the pan. But when applied, I felt like the blendability was slightly lacking. I could create a look with them yes, but was never fully satisfied with the final result unless I’d properly blended for 15 years. It literally takes that long. Or felt that way at least.

And so now I have a bad attitude about it and probably won’t pick it up very often. But the packaging is adorbs so if you can salvage anything, by all means spend $50 so you can display this beauty in the wicker basket on the back of your toilet. I mean, that’s what I’m doing with mine.

This is just part 1 of the birthday haul. There is much much more to come. You should probably go ahead and get excited. It’s coming people. And also, I am the boss of you.

Toodles!

Buying Stuff: Eyeshadow Edition

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Welcome to August!  Otherwise known as My Month-Long Birthday Celebration!  Therefore, everything below is immediately and forevermore JUSTIFIED.  Because if you’re that person who can deny a girl her birthday treats, then how can we ever be friends?  It’s nigh on impossible.

So here’s a bunch of eyeshadow stuffs for you to love:

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That’s the Bare Minerals Ready Eyeshadow 2.0 in the shade The Vision.  I have never tried Bare Minerals eyeshadows before, and can I just say how lovely they are?  I probably shouldn’t have gotten started now because do you know how many colors they have?  Like eons worth.  This particular one has a mint blue/green on the left (you know, the one completely washed out by my camera), and a duo chrome teal blue/brown/green collab on the right.  They go on very smooth, color shows up brilliantly, and they blend out like a dream.  I heart them so much!  Pretty sure I’ll be picking up a few more of these very very soon.  Or else someone needs to be gifting these to me like stat.  Have I mentioned this is my month-long birthday celebration?  Wellll, it is.

And then comes this thing:

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If you don’t know what palette this is, then you have been camping in the Siberian Wilderness for far too long.  It’s the Too Faced Chocolate Bar, and I’m about 97.95746% certain I’m the last person in the world to own it.  Well, except for the cavewomen and nomads.  But after them, definitely the last.

I went back and forth for months deciding if I should or should not buy it.  At first glance, other than the obvious few colors, it looks like a bunch of brown eyeshadows.  And I didn’t need a palette full of brown eyeshadow.  However, my sister got it, then my best friend got it, and then I started to feel like I was missing out.  Fiiiiiiinnne. I bought you.

And now I love you.  Dammit.

This palette is officially one of my most favorite ones.  The colors are beautiful, and I can actually get quite a few looks out of it despite all the brown.  And honestly, the browns are very different from one another anyway – much more different that I initially thought.  There’s a mix of shimmers, mattes and glitters and every last one of them smells like chocolate.  Not fake, artifically flavored chocolate, but real cocoa powder.  I don’t know if that’s the green light to go on and eat the dang thing, but I guarantee someone’s dipped their finger in and took a lick.  And don’t be looking at me like I’m guilty cuz I have too much hypochondria in my brain to be sticking my tongue in eyeshadow.

Here’s the result of some late night YouTubing:

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Good lord.  Did I need this?

(Yes.  The answer to that question is always yes.)

This is the Tarina Tarantino Floriculture palette. First of all, your eyes are not deceiving you.  The eyeshadow pans are ginormous.  You get a lot of value for your money with this one.  The shades are also very pretty, delicately shimmery, perfect for my old lady eye skin.  The only complaint would be the absense of a matte crease or matte highlight; however, I’m not peeved enough to never use this palette again.  Plus, the fuschia floral packaging is beautiful and looks ultra fancy sitting in the wicker basket on the back of my toilet.

It is limited edition, but I’ve been seeing it around for awhile so not sure how long it’ll still be available.  I’d say play it safe and go ahead and put it in your shopping cart immediately, because although the palette may stick around for a little longer, the apocolypse could happen any day now.  And you need this to help get you through.

Lookie, more Makeup Geek eyeshadows:

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These are my absolute favorite eyeshadows in all the land.  That’s not an exaggeration.  I own about 25 single pans now (all expertly arranged in my Z-Palette), and every single one of them is amazing.  I haven’t had fallout issues, blending issues, pigmentation issues.  In fact, if these were people, they’d be your best friend, your partner, your lovahhh.  Serious.  That didn’t get weird there for a second, did it?

Anyway.  I highly highly highly suggest a shopping trip to MakeupGeek.com and buy a few of these.  I challenge you not to be impressed.  Plus, for the mere price of $5.99, I can’t imagine you wouldn’t want a hundred of these.  Well, wait, that’s $600. So maybe not a hundred – at least not all at once.

On a side note:  math.  Twenty-two years since graduation, and I. STILL. GOT. IT.

Last item is this thing:

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I’m not sure when this debuted but I’m thinking it was just a few weeks ago.  It’s the Amrezy palette by Anastasia Beverly Hills.  Isn’t it lovely?  Those jewel tones though.  I die.  I die!  I haven’t used all the colors yet cuz it literally came in the mail two days ago.  But so far everything works great.  At first glance, I thought the Caramel shade would be too dark for my crease, but it actually went on very natural.  I’m hoping the Morocco (orange) shade is just as good.  I’m wearing the Topaz on my lid today with Deep Plum in the outer v, and I swear if Vogue isn’t calling soon, then something is wrong with Vogue.

Well, that’s it guys.  Are you tired now, cuz I am.  It’s pajama time!  Have a great weekend.

Buying Stuff: Episode 17

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You ever have those times where you think you are doing so good at shopping, not spending too much, then on the way out the store you see something you most desperately need and end up ruining all your good work?  Except you technically didn’t ruin anything because now you have something amazing, therefore you go home feeling like you quite literally saved the world from a stock market crash.  Well here is one of those times:

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It’s a cute little mask set from Peter Thomas Roth and I am in love.  Even if you don’t like masks, you could buy this cuz it has pretty colors, and who doesn’t love that? (Crazy people.)  I’ve been wanting to try the two gel masks for awhile, so finding this kit made me var var happy.  I didn’t know the pumpkin one existed, so that was a bonus.  Although I’m not a huge fan of pumpkin smells.  The last pumpkin thing I had was a mask from Michael Todd, and it had the consistency and appearance of baby food.  Not necessarily a bad thing if you love pumpkin; however, I do not.  But this Peter Thomas Roth thing is an exfoliator and the opposite of baby food, so I think it will be fine.

And remember how I saved the world from a stock market crash.  So everything mentioned in this post, including the pumpkin scrub, is immediately justified.

Below is a small Sephora haul:

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I love it when I run out of something cheap like body wash or makeup remover.  I have a legitimate shopping excuse at that point, and anything else that happens to find their way into my little basket is just a hazard of the emergency.  I mean, what can you do without body wash?  You can’t take a bath, that’s for sure.  So probably “emergency” is too mild a term to describe this situation, but “catastrophic misadventure” is much too long to type.

So I picked up a Philosophy body wash (that triples as a shampoo and bubble bath) in the scent Melon Daiquiri.  It smells like summer in a bottle, and I really like it.  They have tons of scents to choose from, and I spent an obnoxiously long time sniffing each and every one of them.  I almost bought all of them at one point, but finally decided on the melon.  But the Animal Cracker and Coconut scents are probably my next buy.

Wanted to try one of the Too Faced La Creme lipsticks because YouTube haunts me about 95% of my day.  Lots of my gurus talk about how they like the formula of these lipsticks, and I am easily persuaded, so there ya go.  I swatched a few of them in the store, decided on Pink Chocolate, and proceeded to walk around with it in my hand for about 45 minutes.  Right before checkout, I had an attack of conscious and realized I didn’t need to buy another lipstick.  I put it back, then stood in line at the register behind a lady taking an extraordinary amount of time signing up for the rewards program.  Or just long enough for me to ignore my rudely interrupting conscious and grab the lipstick off the shelf again and put it in my basket.

Well.  People need to be quicker in dealing with their transactions, that’s all I’m saying.  Hardly my fault.

Also got suckered into buying the Sephora #55 airbrush foundation brush because I am helpless and need a psychiatric evaluation.  Honestly, how many foundation brushes do I need?  In my defense, none of them say the word “airbrush” in the title, and I don’t know about you, but that word sucks me in almost 97.90567% of the time.  As evident by the fact I bought the dang thing.

I primarily wanted it because back in May when Sephora opened, the sales girl applied the Kat Von D foundation on me using this brush.  The finish was spectacular, which prompted me to buy the foundation.  Since that day I have not been able to duplicate the finish.  In fact, I almost hate the Kat Von D foundation because it is so thick and dry that applying it is about zero fun.

So now that I have this brush, one of the first things I did was apply the Kat Von D.  I read the directions of how to use the brush, and it says to dip it in the product, swirl it on the back of your hand, then apply to your face.  I did all that, and I still didn’t get the finish I was looking for.  Drat.  Perhaps I am not the makeup artist I pretend to be?  Perhaps my brush is broken?  Whatever the case, I have yet to achieve the look of airbrush, but I’m still working on it.

And then for no reason whatsoever, I needed to buy the Becca Beach Tint Shimmering Souffle.  For one, it’s a new product and there was a lot of excitement circling the Becca aisle because of it.  And two, the texture of this is pure fun.  It’s like the bubble wrap of makeup – you can’t stop touching it.  Whoever decided to call it a souffle gets an award, because that’s the perfect name.  It’s cushiony, airy, light.  Here’s a better close up, complete with finger indention.  Not a big one cuz I didn’t want to ruin it right off the bat:

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This is the color Guava/Moonstone.  It’s a cream blush – but the easiest application of a cream blush I’ve ever used.  It’s no fail.  If you get circus cheeks from applying this, then you need to sit down, as messing this up would be nigh on impossible.  The color payoff is very sheer and subtle, which could be a good thing if that’s what you’re looking for.  Beachy and glowy is what it is and var var beautiful.  Now, this is the only color I’ve used.  The others may be completely different.  You may get circus cheeks out of them for all I know.  But the Guava/Moonstone is golden and sunkissed – probably works best as a highlighter since the coral in it does not pop like you might expect.  I also have medium light skin, so depending on how dark or light you are, this may or may not be your dream blush.

How’s that for a review?  Maybe, maybe not, could be, could not be, yes, no … You might just need to swatch them for yourselves cuz I ain’t getting sued for misleading information.  All I’m saying is I like it.  Mostly because it’s squishy in its jar.  I dare you not to want to stick your fingers all in this stuff.  If you are somehow able to refrain yourself, you might need to take that show on the road, because that amount of willpower is downright inspirational.

Next up is this horrible picture below.

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I can’t even pretend there’s not cat hair all over this blanket.  I’m sorry.  What can I say?  They lay about as if they own the place.  And I guess that’s somewhat correct since my girl cat poops wherever she feels like and we still let her live with us.

The only thing in the picture I bought was the Bobbi Brown blush – the rest I got for free.  Perks of being VIB Rouge, y’all!  Which did not cost me a small fortune to begin with or anything (you know, in case the husband is reading this).  But back to that Bobbi Brown blush.  I got the color Sand Pink, and it’s a really nice medium shade that looks good with my skintone.  I’d say it’s pretty pigmented, but right now I’m distracted by how much cat hair is on that blanket and I can’t think of anything else.  I need to page-down real quick or something.

So all that Fresh lip care stuff was a little sample set.  It includes the lip polish, two lip balm treatments, and a sugar shine gloss.  I am really enjoying these products.  Aside from the weird brown sugar smell, that is.  I don’t prefer it.  But I believe the scrub is the best one I’ve ever used.  It keep my lips exfoliated the longest.  Which is quite a feat because I have the flakiest lip skin in all the land.  I don’t even understand why.  It couldn’t be because I sleep with a fan blowing in my face for 8 hours or anything.

The lip balms are nice as well.  The Rose one has a slight pink tint, but it’s not super evident, so don’t expect a whole lot.  I do like the way they feel on the lips; very moisturizing.  The shine gloss is just a top coat.  I probably won’t use this as much, but it’s not a bad product.  I just don’t wear a lot of clear glosses.

Then I cashed in a couple hundred rewards points and got the next two things.  First one is the Aqua Eyes eyeliner by Make Up Forever. I didn’t realize when I got it that it was a brown pencil, but I’m kind of happy it was. I have a lot of black liners, but very few brown ones. I was mostly interested in it cuz I needed a really good liner that stays put in my waterline. And even though this one is waterproof, my eyes somehow, miraculously, couldn’t give a shit. So this isn’t the one, needless to say. Still searching. Story of my life.

Last product is the Too Faced Chocolate Soleil bronzer. I know I’m the last person aside from nomads and cavewomen to own this bronzer. Better late than never. I can’t own all the things all at the same time ya know? Anyway, I thought this bronzer would be too dark for me cuz it kind of appears that way in the pan. But it’s PERFECT. Goes on lovely, blends fantastically, and smells like chocolate. Plus it’s matte so old people like me can wear it with confidence. Yayuuuuuus. In short, it’s my favorite bronzer now.

Congratulations, you’ve reached the end of this post. Your reward? Another post tomorrow.

You’re welcome.

Buying Stuff: Episode 8

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Huge haul alert.  Just a warning, in case you have something important to do within the next 15 hours.  Otherwise, get comfy; we gonna be here for a bit.  I’ll try to make it short and sassy, but sometimes (i.e., every time) my eyes sort of glass over when talking about makeup and skin care.  I’m so addicted, I can’t focus on anything else anymore.  Seriously, my husband could be standing in the middle of Ulta completely naked and I’d never notice.

So let’s get started.  You know how I am about wanting to own all the things.  Pretty sure that will never end, although I’m giving my best effort.  Every time I am on YouTube, one of my gurus starts talking about some brand I don’t own, and that gives me the hives like no other.  I need to have something, anything, from every brand or I can’t function properly.  OCD sucks so bad sometimes.  It manifests in many different ways, one-track-mindedness being one of them.

Here is an eyeshadow palette from Lime Crime:

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I chose the Alchemy palette because it is new and all the shadows are duochrome.  They are absolutely gorgeous shadows, and surprisingly wearable, especially the purple in the middle.  Very very pigmented as well, which is nice.  I think my favorite of the five colors is the green.  It’s vibrant and bold, looks beautiful on the outer V and lower lash line.  Reminds me of spring, not Easter spring, but green grass spring.  It evokes a feeling of warmth and sunshine in me, and effectively cures my Seasonal Affective Disorder.  In other words, this palette is a medical necessity and therefore justified.

Next!

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I used the Carol’s Daughter Monoi Repairing Hair Mask yesterday, and I’m so in love.  This is some amazing stuff.  But in order to get a bigger picture, let me describe my hair to you.  Naturally wavy.  Dries frizzy and poufy (the bad poufy, not volumized poufy).  Fine texture.  Oily scalp but dry ends (I know; I told you I was my own oxymoron).  In simpler terms, I just don’t like.  I wish I could let my hair dry naturally and love the results.  But no, that would be too simple, and my life is all about the complicated.  Wavy hair is not the same as curly; it’s can’t-commit hair, the worst kind.  Be curly if you wanna be curly.  Don’t look as if you thought about it and changed your mind in the middle.  Cuz what I’m left with is straight and fine in the scalp region, lumpy in the middle section, and frizzed out at the ends.

I use a hair dryer and a flat iron or curling iron, so there’s heat damage to add to all that other mess.  It’s not color-treated, or at least not since 2011.  But it does break easily, and even after I get a haircut or trim, my ends still look like they’re split.  As if my hair is not committed to being curly or straight, but dadgummit it has no problem being broken.  And you should just see how much hair swirls around in my bath water.  I spend more time picking errant strands off my body or untwining them from around my fingers.  What am I supposed to be doing in the tub?  Nothing.  What am I really doing?  Trying to save myself from being attacked by my own hair.  No. Bueno.

Enter the Carol’s Daughter mask.  First off, this stuff smells like the Garden of Eden.  Use this mask for that sake alone; it’s heavenly.  In fact, I’m sitting here typing this blog with a swatch of hair strewn across my upper lip like a makeshift mustache.  You literally can’t stop smelling it.  It’s made with monoi oil, which is apparently derived from 15 gardenias and coconut oil combined over a 15 day sacred ritual.  That’s quite specific, and I wish I could tell you I was kidding, but I’m not.  And it comes from Tahiti.  Tahiti.  Are you convinced yet?

The result?  Glorious.  My hair was less poufy and so extremely smooth and silky.  The silkiest it’s ever, never been.  And my ends look very healthy, even though it’s been 3 months since my last haircut.  I will never be without this mask now.  I’m so happy I could cry.

As for the tiny jar of Tarte eye treatment, I haven’t used it yet.  But of course I needed it right this second.  Bought a sample off eBay because I didn’t want to commit to a $38 full-size.  I’ve heard great things about it, so I’m excited to use it.  After I finish this horrendously large tube of Glytone that seems to replicate itself after every use.  I’ll never be done.

More good stuff.  See below:

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Cutie pies!  All of it, just adorable little cutie pies.  I work as a buyer, and one of the departments I buy for is a spa.  This is a relatively new job responsibility, and it’s proving to be quite dangerous because now I know exactly what products they’re ordering and I need to own every last one of them.  These three things are from the Farmhouse Fresh line, and I barely walked away with the small shopping bag as opposed to the industrial sized platform truck I really wanted.  Everything was simply precious.  I swear, if there’s an idiot CEO out there that claims packaging isn’t that big of a deal, I will karate chop them in the throat.  Because honestly, it gets me lured in every single time.

What I bought was a jar of Honeysuckle Orange Custard body cream, a tube of Front Porch Punch hand cream, and a Sundae Best chocolate face mask.  All food scents, so delicious and summery.  I’ve mentioned before how boring body lotion or hand lotion is, how I never ever buy it, unless it is in cute packing or it smells like fruit.  This stuff’s got both.

I’ve brought the hand cream to work, so now I’m using it all day long.  It’s a mixture of strawberry, mango, melon and grapefruit.  So good.  If my hair isn’t stuck up underneath my nose, it’s my fingers.  Yummy and delicious.  I haven’t used the body cream, as I’m trying to finish my Ahava sample, and then I have the Josie Maran sweet citrus body butter next in line.  In other words, it’s gonna be a while.  But just having it in my bathroom, owning it and claiming it as mine, satisfies me to no end.  Plus it has a wooden spoon applicator.  A wooden spoon applicator!  You need this in your life, at the very least so you can own your own tiny wooden spoon.  As for the face mask, it smells and looks like chocolate pudding.  It’s divine.  I may eat it if I don’t use it soon.

Last bit of goodies is this small haul from Ulta:

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I actually finished my Urban Decay pressed powder, so thought I’d give the loose powder a try.  Someone on YouTube said it gave them flawless skin, and well, you don’t have to tell me twice.  Flawless is a magic, evil little word, isn’t it?  You tell me something is going to make me flawless, and I’m buying it about 2.5 seconds later.

The tube of Too Faced LashGasm mascara is a really good one.  I actually owned this not too long ago, and it made my lashes look amazing – or as amazing as my lashes have the capability to be.  Then one day I dropped the tube on my tile floor, and ruined my life just like that.  The tube cracked at the top, and all the mascara oozed out of it.  I tried to salvage it for a few days, but it was just too messy, and then I started having OCD panic attacks about all the poo germs getting into it because it’s stored on the counter right next to the toilet.  Needless to say, I had to give it a sad little goodbye.  But now that I’ve replaced it, my heart has healed.

I own a lot of the NYX butter glosses.  They are some of the best lip glosses that ever lived.  Not sticky one bit, smells amazing, colors actually show up even though they are sheer.  Thought I’d try the purple because I live on the edge, and also the name of it is Raspberry Tart, which makes me think of pie.  I love pie.  And cake.  Cake and pie.  With whipped cream on top. And chocolate shavings.

What are we talking about?  I dunno.

I actually have a Sephora order delivering to my house today, and I was thisclose to calling in sick so I could sit home and wait for it.  You know how it is.  The excitement becomes almost too much to bear sometimes.  I’ll do another haul on that later this week.  Still got 6 beauty boxes to review and only 7 days left in the month.  Pressure’s on, people.  It’s hard being a blogger sometimes.  So. Hard.

Toodles!

Buying Stuff: Episode 2

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Well crap. This is always happening to me:

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I ain’t gonna lie. Buying stuff is fun. Buying stuff with gift cards is even better. But you know as well as I know that you cannot, under any means whatsoever, spend strictly what’s on a gift card and then walk away. I am not Superwoman. I do not have magic powers. I am helpless as a baby lamb among shiny packages.

In other words, I spent too much money today.

It started out alright. I had a snafu with an eBay purchase yesterday where I ordered a Bobbi Brown gel eyeliner that turned out to be 5+ years old (um, eww) so I needed to get a new gel liner like pronto. Trusty YouTube, my evil special friend, told me Maybelline had a good product so I picked up a jar for $10. Also had a $5 off coupon for it, so things are going really well at this point.

Then I walked to the other side of Ulta, the high-end area where dreams are made of. Dammmmmit. Why is everything so pretty? I’m about 98.63848% certain I own everything already, but I somehow managed to find a few new things. You know, the status quo.

First thing I picked up was the Stila In the Garden palette. I’ve seen this here every time I come in so why now of all times do I suddenly feel I need it? I just made a decision and went with it. Which always turns out to be a very expensive decision. My decision-making skills need some assistance.

But look how pretty:

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It just looks like spring. And anything that reminds me of spring, sunshine, warmth and happiness … well, that’s my jam.

Then I walk past the clearance table, and if you are able to walk the opposite direction from a clearance table you need to take your show on the road because that right there is inspirational. However, I am simply human so I stop for about 2 hours.

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This Too Faced Joy to the Girls kit was all the rage this Christmas and I almost bought it 15 separate times. But I have been rewarded by my steadfastness by saving $10.

And of course on the way out the door I passed the Smashbox display where they had one Must-Have Metallics Rose Gold kit left. Having one left of anything creates a moment of panic in me, so naturally I had to buy it before it went extinct.

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So precious. I actually wore this entire kit today and it turned out lovely. Rose gold. That’s all I need to say about that.

By the grace of God, I was able to leave Ulta without buying anything else. Although I had a Tarte foundation and a Bare Minerals highlighter in my bag at one point. I do try very hard to be frugal to some level so this very act of putting products back on the shelf is a miracle to the nth degree. The fact that I will regret is mightily and daydream about them incessantly is besides the point.

Like I said, I’m only human.