There is a price to pay for being overly lazy.  I have discovered that by doing ambitious leg stretching while lounging on the couch in pajamas CAN and WILL pull a muscle in your foot.  And then you will spend the next three days hobbling around while trying to leave a good first impression on your brother-in-law whom you’ve never met.  I’ve also discovered that you can never look sexy while using your mother-in-law’s cane.  And that they rent wheelchairs at the zoo, where your husband will push you around all afternoon, alternating between sweet and helpful gestures and deviously taking pictures and videos for all of Instagram and/or Facebook to see.

I wish I could say I hurt myself while saving a baby from a speeding car or something heroic like that.  But no, of course not.  I have to take laziness to the next level and literally cripple myself by doing a goodnight stretch right before bed.  Am I 90?  Seems so.

Here’s my Ipsy:

The first thing I pulled out was the Be A Bombshell lip balm, and I immediately wanted to take a nap.  Lip balm, for reals?  It’s the shape of a boring ol’ Chapstick, not even in a little vintage tin or pot with a shiny gold lid.  They could’ve done that at least.  Cuz while I utilize lip balm on a daily basis, if it’s not chocolate or coconut, made in France or in cute packaging, there’s a 97.954656% chance I’m not keeping it.  I went ahead and sampled it for sake of this review, and basically if you’ve used Chapstick before then you’re already an expert.  This one does have a bit of a pale pink color, but it blanked out my lips so much I looked like I was dead or in the process of dying.  In other words, all my fair-skinned peeps out there – I found you the perfect lip balm.  Who’s the best blogger in all the land?  ME.

Things got worse cuz next thing in the bag was an Octavio La Playa seasalt spray – a product that I will never ever use.  I’m not even going to attempt to review it because it’s already gone.  I checked the Ipsy reviews and it seems to be a middle-of-the-road product for most people.  Some said it made their hair crunchy while others said not crunchy.  The only way to know for sure is to use it yourself.  Much like everything else I review in the blog for you.  However, is that the point?  No it is not.  It only applies to sea salt spray anyway.  Everything else I review I pretty much get it right 100% of the time.  Cuz PROFESSIONAL, that’s why.

I was okay with the Tarte Park Avenue Princess bronzer even though I already have a bit of this included in one of my old Tarte palettes.  I like the packaging better on the new one anyway as it’s easier to lug around than a big palette.  I’ve been using this every day for the past two weeks and I really like it.  A very nice color with a barely detectable shimmer in it.  Not too dark or too light, and blends out really well.  I can actually apply this one in a non-stripey kind of way, which I hear is how the supermodels and celebrities like to do it.  So if someone wants to call Vogue real quick, I’ll wait.

Then I got an Ofra eyeshadow/highlighter thingy in the shade Bliss.  At first I wasn’t too thrilled about getting this.  I mean, let’s be honest, the color is a bit normal.  I prefer emeralds or deep purples if I get to choose it myself.  But since I don’t, I decided to go the highlighter route with this.  And surprisingly, it makes a lovely highlighter.  The color is very pigmented so just a tap with your brush will do, and it looks spectacular on the skin.  Very flashy if you’re into it.  If you’re not, just be careful.  I’ve received several Ofra items in the past and I’ve never been overwhelmed with love, but I like this one so I kept it.  It sits in prime Z-Palette real estate right next to a couple of Makeup Geek blushes.  That’s saying something.

Last item in the box is the Vasanti BrightenUp! exfoliator which I had received in my Birchbox just a mere three months ago.  If you’d like to read what I said about it, click here.  If not, the short version is that I liked it very much.  Very fine exfoliator, gentle on the skin, and I’d swear it replaced my old face with a new one after just one use.  I’m debating whether to keep it or pass it along to my mom.  I have so many exfoliators I need to use, and I’m afraid I won’t get to it before it expires.  I’ve already had to toss some stuff in the trash this past month because I can’t manage my life very well.  You try opening up 27 foundations and then use them ALL up in one year.  It’s nigh on impossible.

Well, in case you haven’t noticed I’m once again extremely behind.  Let’s just call this my new normal, shall we?  Cuz at this point, I’m on a roll.  I’m assuming if I focused less on painting my nails every single night (and sometimes twice), I might get a lot more done.  Sounds logical but I just had a rum and Coke and things are making a lot of sense right about now.  Like, if you have a question about the meaning of life, I’m available for consultation.

Bye, Friends!

You remember that time when I told everyone how much I dislike nail polish, and then I went on and on for the next 18 months continuing to dislike nail polish?  Well guess who spent the past few weeks owning about 102 bottles of nail polish?  (If you just said, Who?, well aren’t you the pretty one?)  I guess you might say something’s changed.  Why it has changed I can only speculate.  But here is my best guess:  YouTube.  Did you know you can just sit around for five hours on a Sunday watching ladies paint their fingernails?  Like, you can completely stop vacuuming, grocery shopping, or functioning in society altogether, and just sit on the couch and watch nail polishing tutorials.  And then like every other time in my life, what do I end up doing with all this pent up inspiration?  I buy 102 bottles of nail polish AND a display rack to put them in.  Duh.

Here’s my Ipsy:

Ah, another hot pink lipstick.  This is the Shea Moisture lip crayon in the color Sarah.  Nothing against it, but you know how it goes.  Why get something unique and exciting when you can have just one more hot pink lipstick, that’s my motto.  I did use it for the sake of the review, though.  And it was okay.  I wore it all day and found it not to be particularly moisturizing or long lasting.  And the hot pink was as hot pink as ever.  I’m keeping it, but barely.  I’m sure I’ll change my mind by the end of this post.

Next is the treStique eyeshadow crayon in Aspen Pine, a wonderful, glorious GREEN!  Finally I don’t get a champagne shade.  Ipsy was sending out four different colors and they were all pretty neutral except for the green, and because my life always does the opposite of what I wish for, I just knew I wouldn’t get the green.  But I did.  For once something goes my way.  All those years of the Bachelor picking the wrong Bachelorette has come to fruition.  My dues have been paid.  I have earned that green eyeshadow.

It’s a pretty dark green so blending it took a minute.  I added a bit of lighter green to the center to brighten things up a bit, and I loved the way it turned out.  I posted a pic on Instagram if you’d like to go see (you do) – and while you’re there, go ahead and click “follow” because 1,000 other people did and they’re pretty much the smartest people in the entire world.

You know how much I love my masks.  This Dr. Brandt Pores No More Vacuum Cleaner mask is perfect for me.  It’s supposed to suck out all your blackheads and I can’t think of anything more better than that.  Now I went ahead and tried it a few days ago.  It’s a very light silky feeling mask that goes on clear then dries to a very sheer milky white.  You almost can’t tell you have it on, which works great if you’re prone to receiving unexpected guests as soon as you declare it Skincare Sunday.  Because you know that happened to me.  I applied this goopy, drippy dark brown honey mask and a mere 2.5 seconds later some neighbor kid rang my doorbell telling me their softball flew into my backyard.  Then I did that over-explaining thing I tend to do, how it was Skincare Sunday and I just put on a mask and I’m so sorry for looking hideous but I’m old and wrinkly and hahaha, that’s what happens when you’re 40 and oopsie, look a bit of mask goop is dripping down my jaw onto my neck but don’t be scared because it’s vegan and organic and smells like pumpkin cocoa, you can sniff my face if you want.  Welllll, what kid plays softball in 90-degree heat?  This all could’ve been avoided had they been on their iPad and eating Cheetos like a normal person.

But back to the mask.  Sadly, I didn’t think it performed a miracle.  I was expecting all my pores to be gone, but I suppose that’s unrealistic anyway.  My face felt very clean, though, and my serum and moisturizer went on pretty smooth.  Perhaps with continued use, I would be able to tell a difference.  If I ever buy the full size, I’ll be sure to let you know.

Got another Smashbox Photo Finish primer.  This is one of my favorites, so I was happy to get a repeat.  Feel free to read what I said about it last year by clicking here.  Or I can just tell you it’s a hardcore silicone primer, feels a bit oily and a bit silky at the same time, but holds back my t-zone oil the best of any primer I’ve used.  It doesn’t stop it completely, but I can eke out a couple extra hours with this primer before I need to blot.  Is that a big deal?  Ask anyone with an oily face and a very hectic schedule – blotting your face is annoying and takes up too much time.  May be just 30 seconds, but still.

Last item in the box is a set of BioRepublic sheet masks in Aloe Rescue, Cucumber Breeze, and Green Tea Detox.  I’ve mentioned a few times before that I don’t like the sheet mask format.  I mean, I will use all three but I won’t enjoy them whatsoever.  First of all, they’re weird.  Actually, they’re mostly creepy with a skosh of weird.  Yes, they’re convenient, perfect for travel, yada yada yada.  But I don’t want to look into a mirror and see a serial killer staring back at me.  I just don’t.  Give me a goopy, drippy dark brown honey mask over a sheet mask any day.

However, because I am a good person and an even better blogger, here are the preferred list of uses for each mask:

ALOE RESCUE – Soothes dry skin, perfect for after sun

CUCUMBER BREEZE – Soothes and calms stressed skin, tightens pores

GREEN TEA DETOX – Reduces excess sebum (oil), blemishes and imperfections

I will admit I could use all but the Aloe Rescue.  I don’t have dry skin, and I don’t go outside unless I’ve been forced or bribed with Starbucks.  Trust me, promises of a Starbucks will get you just about anything.  Scooping cat poop, taking out the trash, pulling those scary looking mushrooms that pop up in your flower bed.  Yes, Starbucks is a very powerful bargaining tool.  So is a Sephora gift card.  You know, in case you have any errands that needs run.

That’s it for today.  Thanks for reading to the very bottom.  Internet high fives for everyone!

The hem came out of a pair of work pants about a year ago, so I stapled them back together and carried on with my life.  I told my friend about it the other day, and she had a good laugh.  Said I wear Tom Ford foundation and Chanel sunglasses, but wear stapled up pants like a damn hobo.  How does this make sense?  Considering I have to make an effort to take my pants to the seamstress but I can shop for luxury makeup on my couch wearing no pants at all, it makes perfect sense to me.  As soon as someone comes to my house with their needle and thread ready to get to work, I’ll just probably keep replacing the staples for the rest of my life.

This may be a whole new level of lazy.  Regardless, here’s my Ipsy:

Got a Briogeo Rosarco Milk leave-in conditioner.  My face looks like this:   -__-

I mean, there’s nothing wrong with the product, but eh.  Just boring.  I’ve used it a couple times and nothing bad happened, so that’s good news.  I think I sprayed pretty generously and I did not get a scummy feeling in my hair like I thought I might.  So that’s also good news.  But leave-in conditioners are like the sock Christmas gifts of the beauty world: something you’ll use but nothing you really want.  Or at least that’s what it’s like for me.  If I had an actual hair care routine, maybe I’d feel differently.  I dunno.  I’m an asshole.  Moving on.

Sometimes I wonder if Ipsy even gets me.  Got two packets of the Klorane eye patches and I immediately hit DELETE.  I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve purposefully used eye patches.  If I had zero hands, I could still count on one hand.  But in an effort to be fair and PROFESSIONAL, I tried these anyway.  They are super gelatinous-feeling, but stick to your under eyes really really well. According to the website, these patches will soften the skin, depuff and brighten.  Since I only used these one time, I didn’t notice any difference at all, but then again if the most obvious result would be the depuffing, my under eyes aren’t puffy to begin with.  What I’m trying to say is these eye patches are not for me.  But I tried, and that’s what counts.  Best blogger ever?  This girl.

Perhaps my favorite items of the bag is the Urban Decay 24/7 lip liner in Ozone and the two Revolution lipgloss samples in Bittersweet and Failbait.  First of all, the lip liner.  It’s clear therefore universal and can be used with any color lipstick.  I decided to test it out alongside the lipstick that bleeds on me the most.  If this lip liner kept things under control, I’d declare it Holy Grail Status and buy the full size.  So I lined my lips and applied my lipstick and eight hours later, it looked brand new.  I was quite impressed.  Pretty sure this sample size will last for a long time, but I will absolutely pick up a new one once I’m out.

As for the lipglosses, I love them.  Well, the purple one (Bittersweet) is gorgeous.  Super pigmented color, very glossy.  Flattering and lovely.  I’ve already added this to my wishlist for when the sample runs out.  Now the pink one (Failbait) is nice as well, but it does not show up on my lips as well as the purple.  I would definitely wear it though, if I was going for a nude pink, natural look.  Which hardly ever happens, but I love having my options open.

Received the Skone Cosmetics Pretty Eyes eyeliner in Navy.  There really isn’t much to say about this one.  It’s pretty basic.  It’s mechanical which I prefer.  I don’t like messing with sharpeners cuz I never get the tip as sharp as I want it, and if I tried hard enough I’d end up sharpening away the entire pencil.  So mechanical is my BFF.  The tip of the eyeliner is pretty creamy.  Applies really well.  However, it doesn’t dry as quickly as it should for my hooded eyelid because it transferred to right underneath my eyebrow within seconds of application.  Well, that’s a bummer.  I haven’t decided yet if I’ll keep it.  I do have a lot of Navy eyeliners, and this one for me isn’t all that special.  If Ipsy had sent a different color – like a vivid green or a hot pink – there would be no question I’d keep it.

Last product is the It Cosmetics Your Skin But Better CC+ cream.  I already own this, but I freaking love it.  In fact, I wrote an entire blog post on it a while back that you can read all about if you click here.  Everything in there is still true.  I’ve yet to find another BB or CC cream that I like better.  Instead of keeping this sample, however, I passed it along to my mother who I knew would appreciate it as much as me.  I’ll just go ahead and use the expired one I already own because if you read my last Empties post, you’ll know it can be done.  I mean, it shouldn’t be done but all my foundation expires at the same time so I have no choice.  I should plan that out better next time.

All done!  Thanks for reading, subscribing, commenting or lurking.  Come back soon cuz there’s more fun forthcoming.  I have three more boxes to review before June creeps up on me.  And that makes me panic because that means it’s almost winter.  Erlack!  Time moves way too fast.  Someone needs to push the stop button.  Please and thank you.  Bye, y’all!

I need to stop finding new hobbies.  It just makes things more difficult.  I can’t be expected to blog, watch all the YouTube videos, read three different magazines (per month, currently behind), complete a 250-page book in less than a month, and watch a full array of DVR shows if I’m gonna go ahead and fudge it all up by challenging my husband to an American Horror Story marathon on Netflix.  But I did, and now we’re properly addicted, and everything I’ve come to love and hold dear has fallen very very by the wayside and I have OCD and I’m never going to get caught up because it takes me two hours to do weekend makeup just so I can sit around in my pajamas all day and also I’m breaking out in hives.

But having said all that, American Horror Story is a very good show.  Here’s my Ipsy:

Received this cute little Pandora’s blush in the shade Pink Carnation.  Not too long ago I owned a super Barbie pink one that I passed along to my mom.  This color is less bright, but it’s pretty pigmented just the same.  It came to me in a magnetic pan that I could put into my small Z Palette, but if truth be told, Z Palette space is prime real estate and I don’t know if I love the blush enough to move it in officially.  For now, yes.  But don’t get too comfy.  As soon as I decide to order Makeup Geek’s blush in the color Smitten, consider your time as UP.  

How cute is this teeny tiny theBalm Nude Dude eyeshadow sample?  Inside is the color Fit which is a rose gold type shade.  It’s creamy, buttery goodness.  I already own the Nude ‘Tude palette and I really love it.  At this point, I have managed to not purchase this sequel palette – not because I don’t think I’ll like it, but more that I’ve been buying stupidly ridiculous expensive palettes cuz I’m having a minor issue regarding designer makeup.  Such as the need to own all of it.  Well, why be obsessed if you can’t do it properly?

Someone needs to take my internet away.

The packaging on this Mullein & Sparrow lip and cheek balm is adorable.  It’s vintage-inspired and looks like it came out of a 19th century French apothecary.  I could be deathly allergic to lip balm, but I’d risk a touch of anaphylaxis just to own this, especially if you sit it in a little display right next to the credit card swiper because that’s how I end up with the majority of my unecessary items.  However, that’s where all the cuteness and need ends cuz this product is terrible.  There is absolutely no color to this “tinted” balm whatsoever.  You put it on your lips; nothing.  You put it on your cheeks; nothing but a shiny, greasy patch.  How did this stuff even get made?  And it wasn’t even that I got a dud one.  Reviews on the Ipsy site are mostly negative.  The ones who did give it a good score, I’m pretty sure they never even tried it.  They just went by packaging alone, something that I WOULD NEVER DO.  Cuz you read this blog and know that is very very true.

The MicaBeauty eye primer is alright.  Kind of similar to the MAC Paint Pot in Painterly – it lends a nice flesh-toned color to the lid and hides those ugly red and blue veins.  But the application is quite stiff.  The product did not spread well and I felt like I was tugging on my eye trying to get it to smooth out.  However, I got no creasing and my shadow wore well all day.  If I wasn’t already using and loving the Paint Pot – and if I didn’t care much about prematurely aging my own eye with all the roughhousing – I would keep this and use it from time to time.  It worked well once you got it on.

Last product in the bag is the Elizabeth Arden lipstick in Red Door Red.  The only thing good about getting this red lipstick is the value.  Full size is $25 which is well over the cost of the Ipsy subscription.  But because I don’t wear red lipstick, sadly I won’t be getting any value out of it whatsoever.  With the exception of putting it on granddaughter #1 right before dance recital pictures, and then granddaughter #2 putting it on when I turned my back for 2.5 seconds.  There may be snot and Cheetos crumbs on it now for all I know.  No matter – I’ll never use it.

Alright that’s all for now.  Getting ready to start Season 3 of American Horror Story, so excuse me while I ignore everyone and everything for the rest of the evening.  Night night!

I’ve successfully sent a slew of packages to my house to make up for the fact that all my beauty boxes were sent to me on the same day.  Well, you know how it is.  Getting mail is exciting.  But when the only guaranteed fun parts arrive on the same day, what is left for the rest of the month?  So I talked to my friends at Sephora, Macy’s, Makeup Geek and Amazon and we collectively came up with a solution.

Someone needs to take away my internet.

Here’s my Ipsy:

This bag is not so much.  Let me explain:

If I see another pur~lisse product in one more box, I might have to karate chop somebody in the throat.  How many times has this happened in the past year?  Like 18 times now or something?  On the plus side, I didn’t get another moisturizer or sunscreen, but the pur~lisse pur~delicate soy milk cleanser.  And I needed a new cleansing milk so I suppose it all worked out in the end.  But prior to that, it was a serious non-event.

I’ve been using this the past few days and it’s alright I guess.  Nothing overwhelming.  I don’t think it’s an actual cleansing milk that is used to remove makeup before you clean your face.  It’s intended to be your cleanser.  But I’ve chosen to use it the wrong way since its lotion-type consistency doesn’t make me feel cleansed, but more “pre-cleansed” instead.  I’m sure I’m overreacting because of my disdain for receiving yet another pur~lisse product in my box.  Had this tube sported a Dior sticker on it or something, I probably would like it more.  I admit that’s shallow and very, very wrong.  Well, I’ve never claimed otherwise.  I own a foundation that cost me $78 for no other reason.  I am ridiculous and I know it.  Not. Ashamed. (Well, maybe a little.)

Perhaps the worst sample in the box is this Gilchrist & Soames body lotion.  Seriously, if I had a bout of insomnia, this lotion would cure that right up.  I mean, look at it.  Did someone steal this from a hotel amenities tray?  Probably.  We may wanna call the Hyatt to see if they’ve been missing about 400,000 bottles of lotion, suspiciously.  You know, just in case there is a monetary reward at stake.  I didn’t even smell this lotion.  I just quietly tossed it in my regift pile and moved on to the next, less tragic, thing.

At first glance, I wasn’t even sure what this Evelyn Iona product was.  Ipsy doesn’t include informational cards like all my other boxes do, one of the things I’d mention on a survey if Ipsy ever sent out surveys.  No, I had to do my own research where I discovered it was a concealer.  They sent me the shade Flawless (medium ivory), which is nice because it was actually a good color for me.  However, it’s a pretty basic concealer.  Nothing mindblowing, but I don’t hate it.  I’ve used it several times and it has decent coverage for me.  Good texture.  Doesn’t crease, but of course I set it with powder, so that helps.  I’ll hold onto it for a little while, rotate it amongst my other concealers until I get bored with it.  I mean, at this point this is the best thing in the box, so better enjoy it as best I can.

As you can see, the little Vintage Cosmetics Illuminating Face Highlighter thing came to me broken.  Like broken beyond repair, or at least beyond the amount of effort I’d want to put into repairing it.  Contacted Ipsy and they sent out a fresh one, and I must say it’s a very beautiful little highlighter.  It’s a brilliant pink, angelic and lovely.  It’s pretty shimmery though, so if you’re old like me, it may be too much for the face.  Aside from highlighting, suggested uses are as a blush or a blush topper.  Even an eyeshadow, which is most likely how I’ll wear it.  I like to play it safe sometimes.  Other times I like to wear full glam face and pajamas to Starbucks.  But mostly I’m appropriate.  Mostly.

Last product in the box is the NYX Cosmetics Butter lipstick in the shade Pops, a nice mauve nude.  This is a really pretty color and the formula of this lipstick is to die for.  Butter is the perfect word to describe it – it’s so smooth and soft and feels light and soothing on the lips.  I own one of these lipsticks already, and I was all prepared to own another one.  But then naturally, obviously, and of course-ly, out of the 27 different shade selections, I get sent the one and only one shade I already own.  Is that even a mathematical probability?  Will I get struck by lightning next?  Should I just roll around in a cocoon made of bubble wrap for the rest of my life?  Because I’m pretty sure luck like that isn’t supposed to happen.  Someone did some voodoo on me, I just know it.  Other than that, I highly recommend these lipsticks.  They’re lovely.  

Thanks for hanging out today and for reading this post all the way to the end.  Internet hugs for you.  I’ll be back again tomorrow with more fun stuff.  You can’t wait! (Seriously, you can’t.)

Did everyone survive Valentine’s Day?  I did, but barely.  I mean, after the business of receiving two vases of flowers, eating three chocolate covered strawberries, having a gourmet steak dinner prepared specially for me, AND spending an entire $100 Sephora gift card in one go, I’m downright exhausted.  It’s so hard to be me, you guys.  SO. HARD.

Here’s my Ipsy:

It’s a so-so box.  Presently I am using two of the five items.  May use a third item, but I haven’t made up my mind yet.  Let’s review!

I don’t have much use for hair products since my daily routine consists of a brush and that’s it.  Unless you count the trash can where I put all the hair that sheds off me, that is.  So getting this Eva NYC Up All Night volumizing spray was 100% a non-event.  But for the sake of this review, and the fact I am a PROFESSIONAL, I decided to give it a try on hair washing day.  This is a major thing – and proof of my love for you – because there was a very strong chance I’d have to wash my hair twice.  Volumizing products and my fine hair don’t play well together.  I haven’t met one yet that didn’t produce a sticky-up hair scenario, and not in the good way.

I applied this very carefully to my damp roots and then scrubbed my scalp with my fingers to distribute evenly.  And then blow dried my hair and prayed to Jesus.  Surprisingly, this did not make my hair feel scummy and gross.  It still felt clean with maybe a hint of product residue.  I can handle a hint.  I didn’t get bouncy big Texas hair from it, though.  I’d say the volumizing was kept to a minimum.  It was there but not there there.  Probably because I baby-stepped my way with it and sprayed less than I should have.  Cuz if there’s one hair item that scares me the most, it’s volumizers.  I just don’t have time to fiddle with two hair washings in one day.  I can barely do one washing, but I force myself because society (and the HR Department) tells me I have to.

Long story short: I’m giving this away to a friend.

Next up is the Mitchell and Peach Fine Radiance face oil.  I’m not a die hard face oil user, but I’m also not opposed to it.  Last time (and only time) I fell in love with a face oil, it was a dilo oil from Kate Somerville, and nothing has came close to it since.  This Mitchell and Peach one is alright.  It comes from England in case that makes it sound more interesting (it does).  The texture is a little odd.  It’s an oil, but as you’re rubbing it in it starts to turn dry, almost powdery.  Not a nice powdery, but an on-the-verge-of-flaking-off kind of powdery.  Doesn’t last long as it sinks in pretty quick, but for those brief powdery moments, I feel as if all the water has been sucked out of my body.  That’s probably an exaggeration.  But only slight.

On the plus side, it has a mild scent.  Not one of those organic, earthy, braggy scents that act like grass, dirt and ylang-ylang is something to be proud of.  It has a skosh of herby-ness, but it’s mostly undetectable.  I think there’s some florals in there, so that’s nice.  I’m going to continue to use it.  Maybe not all the way to empty, but I’m okay with it for a bit.

I’ve decided I’m just not one for lip stains.  I’ve tried many of them, and they just don’t do it for me.  Not that this City Color one is a bad product or anything; I’m simply not excited.  Like, I wouldn’t karate chop you in the throat over it, that’s how I know our love isn’t real.  This stain, while the Flirtini color is an alright rose pink shade, is super slick on the lips and dries while retaining a bit of moisture.  Enough moisture where your lips don’t get stuck together – trust me, I’ve been through that before and 100% DO. NOT. RECOMMEND – but I honestly don’t know where the term “creamy” comes from.  I didn’t really feel like it stained much either.  But everyone else on Ipsy loves it, so what do I know?  I don’t like stains so I’ll probably never be impressed with any of them.  Unless it’s made in France, then we’ll see.

Got a nice little blush from ModelCo in the shade Cosmopolitan, which is a ballerina pink.  I like it.  Gives you a natural looking flush.  Decently pigmented, not too much sparkle.  Cute little travel sized compact.  What’s not to love?  I had one of these before that I got in a Boxycharm box ages ago.  I had it for about 2.5 seconds before it rolled off my couch to it’s crumbled, shattered death.  So I’m happy to welcome it back with open arms.

Last product in the box is the Emite Make Up eyelash curler.  I’ve not ever been big on curling my eyelashes.  Primarily because my lashes are short little babies and getting them inside an eyelash curler is practically an Olympic sport. So this one doesn’t offer any type of miracle for me. I get it as close as I can to my eyeball and in turn pinch my eyelid instead of curl any lashes. But when I move it further out, I end up crimping my eyelashes right in the middle. It’s a lose-lose situation. However, what this tool does offer is a super cushy red pad that feels reallllly good as you clamp the curler closed. If I had longer lashes, I think I’d love this thing. And if YOU have longer lashes, you can go ahead and sit back down. Nobody likes a winner.

Okay, time for night night. I’m headed to Los Angeles for a work thing tomorrow morning. If I get some free time, I’ll do a post for you while I’m out there. If not, well LOS ANGELES. I don’t understand your question.

Bye!

Spent Friday night inside a Best Buy where I purchased a keyboard case for my new iPad, and then somehow ended up switching satellite providers on the way out the door. They seriously just need to SHUT UP with their $100 off instant coupon and $150 gift card promo.

Here’s my Ipsy:

While not a huge hair product person, I have heard decent things about this Bumble and Bumble stuff. Received the BB Repair leave-in cream. I don’t have a strict opinion on it yet, but so far it seems to be okay. It doesn’t make my hair feel dirty, which that fact alone makes me want to own the full size. I use a dime-sized amount on my super fine hair, but concentrate it mostly from the mid to ends. I don’t dare touch my roots with this stuff because, while I don’t know if it’ll give me scummy hair up there, I’m not taking the chance. Who wants to wash their hair more than twice a week? Not me.

My favorite thing in the box surprises me. It’s the Cailyn mineral eye polish eyeshadow in the shade Orchid. What surprises me is that it’s a loose shadow. But because they put it in a little pot and the applicator is a doe foot sponge on a wand, it’s both fun to apply and easy. If all loose eyeshadows used this method, I would probably go broke owning all the things. But it’s just genius. The color is a nice pinky champagne, so it’s a great lid color that will go with just about any outer v shade. I chose to pat the sponge wand on my lid instead of rubbing it on and I got great coverage. I read some reviews where people said it didn’t show up very well. Obviously they weren’t patting but rubbing. So listen to me – we’re having a teaching moment here – pat on the eyeshadow. Just do what I say. Cuz I am the boss of you.

And even though I have about 17 eye creams in the stash under the sink, I’m cool with getting the Nourish Organic one. I may never get to it before 2021, but that’s beside the point. Has anyone else noticed how long eye creams last? Like I had a Chanel one that was a true sample size – you know, the size that some CEO yelled about in a Marketing meeting that since it was FREE, it should be very very tiny. So they said sample, and they meant it, but the jokes on them because it lasted over a month.

However, back to my point. I’m looking forward to trying the Nourish Organic eye cream in about 7 years.

I love mascara. I’m forever on a journey to find that holy grail. I’ve come super close with several kinds (Marc Jacobs O!Mega, Charlotte Tilbury Full Fat Lashes, even Benefit They’re Real! to name a few), so I was excited to receive the Tarte Lights Camera Lashes. If you read Paula’s Choice Beautypedia reviews, you might know that this one is listed in their BEST category.

So is it BEST? Well, I like it. It does a great job with volume and separation. I applied two coats with no clumping, although my tiniest lashes on the inner corner of my eye went a bit spindly. However, that’s probably just a problem I would have since my lashes are very sparse and thin. I know a lot of people that are just in love with this mascara, so it really varies from person to person. I’m not in love, just kind of casually dating. We see other people.

This blog went weird. Nexxxxxt.

Last product in the box is the NYX Butter lip balm in the shade Parfait. I already own one of these, and they are just great. They feel amazing on the lips. Moisturizing, soft. Smells like candy. The color is pretty sheer, but you can definitely tell it’s there. Add a touch of lipgloss in a similar color and you’d be all set for the day. I’m not opposed to buying more of these. But then again, I buy just about everything.

Enjoy the rest of your day my loves. Thanks for reading my blog. If you’re new, welcome. If you’ve been here before, pat yourself on the back for being so awesome. Til next time, friends.

Did everyone survive Thanksgiving?  We ended up doing a nighttime dinner, so all of the daytime I spent reading US Weekly and eating chips in bed.  Can’t say it wasn’t enjoyable.  Although, I paid for my relaxin’ since I was in charge of about 10 hours worth of dishes after we all ate.  My fingernails are ragged, brittle little babies today.

Below you will find the most boring Ipsy that ever lived:

Boo. Snore.  I’m sure you agree.

I can’t even use my necessity excuse in order to enjoy this Marc Anthony Oil of Morocco hairspray.  I don’t use hairspray.  Like, ever.  In fact, Birchbox had sent me a little deluxe-sized hairspray about a year ago and I put it in my drawer “just in case” and it still has it’s little wrapper on it.  I can’t even give you a proper review because I literally don’t know.  My friend got this in her Ipsy bag as well and she told me she liked it.  Does that help?  No?  Moving on.

I already own one of these J. Cat Beauty Wonder Lip Paint although not in this color, WLP111 Red Potion.  Can’t say I won’t use it, but it’s such a dark plum-red color that I may not go anywhere that presents an opportunity to use it.  It’s a party color, like for New Year’s Eve or something.  The last time I did anything special for New Year’s Eve, I was at work doing work and my shift ran over past midnight.  Ever since then, I’ve become very much an indoor girl.  Cooking little fried appetizers – taquitos, mini quiches, bagel bites – and wearing pajamas have been more my thing lately.  I suppose I could still wear the lip paint, though.

These thing are potent.  Super vibrant color with the staying power that’ll blow your mind and piss you off all at the same time.  Don’t apply this with your finger, unless you want purple fingertips for the next 3 days.  If you’ve used an OCC Lip Tar, these are very similar but like only $5 which is nice.

The only thing I actually liked and will continue using is the Elizabeth Mott You’re So Fine liquid eyeliner in Glitterati.  Previously, I thought all my liquid liner skills had gone to pot when I tried using theBalm’s Schwing and failed miserably.  This Elizabeth Mott one was my second chance.  It glided on very smoothly.  The brush didn’t split into 15 single little hairs.  I could even do a pretty decent wing without making a horrid mess.  I’m actually going to venture out and say this liquid liner is easier to apply than my pen liners, and that makes me var var happy indeed.  I feel like I’m back to my old self.  Not the self that spent 5 minutes on a morning makeup routine, but the self that could apply liquid eyeliner without gooping it all up.  No, that 5-minute self has been kicked out of the club.  If she comes back, be concerned.  Also bring antidepressants.

I do not love cream eyeshadow, so even though there is nothing wrong with this Be A Bombshell eye base, I simply don’t want it.  I got the color Submissive, which is a pale bronze.  It swatched very nicely.  And it blended really well.  I’m just annoyed to use it.  But I kept it just in case someone steals all my eyeshadows but that one.

For the record though, I didn’t hate the color. And it wasn’t awful to wear.  Nor was it a pain (that much) to apply.  I can see where I’d use it if I wanted to brighten up some bland neutral powders.  Or if that 5-minute self really does come back one day, I hate to admit that this little pot of shadow may very well become my BFF.  Until then, though, it’s going to live in my Train Case of Forgotten Makeup and keep it’s little trap shut.

This is the second time a box sent me a Temptu S/B highlighter, and I still don’t want it. I got the Pink Pearl shade this go round so it was nice not to get a repeat color at least. These liquid highlighters are meant to be used with the Temptu airbrush machine, but apparently that’s not a necessary requirement. I was more excited about getting the first one cuz I hadn’t owned it before. But now that I know how much I never used it, receiving it again is quite the lackluster event. Ah well. A fitting theme for this box at least.

But for those who are actually curious about this product, I will give you a list of uses. Top of the cheekbones. Inner corner of the eye. On the cupids bow. Under the brow bone. Above the arch of the brow. Mixed in with foundation to give an all over glow. So obviously very versatile. But will I ever do those things? Doubt it. Cuz it’s a liquid highlighter and that takes extra time, time of which I do not have. Unless I set my alarm for 5 a.m. And then also skip eyeliner. So there’s hope (said me, NEVER).

You’re at the end. Thanks for reading, guys. Please feel free to comment, like, or share with your best friend’s cousin’s wife’s sister’s hairdresser. Or just stick it on your Facebook. Same thing.

Hi gang.  It’s Friday and hubby and I are headed to Little Rock for the weekend.  I swear, I have never been so on-the-go in all my life.  I’m like a little world traveler, what with Vegas a couple weeks ago; Springfield, Missouri last weekend; and now Little Rock.  I’m no mathemetician, but I’m pretty sure that’s three separate times I’ve packed and unpacked my suitcase.

Before I go, here’s my Ipsy:

Well, the teal bag is cute.

Alright, so it’s not the worst box I’ve ever gotten.  But out of everything, I kind of only mediocrely like about half.  Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think those are very good odds.  I’m probably wrong.  I’m sure in Vegas, 50/50 is a no brainer.  But I just have terrible luck.

So let’s get started then.  First thing is an exfoliating cleanser by Epice.  I don’t use exfoliators very often, even though I know I should.  It’s just, I take baths and after exfoliating I spend the rest of my time sitting on the microbeads that have sank to the bottom of the tub.  It does not feel pleasant.  However, nothing makes my face feel as smooth quite like a good exfoliation treatment.  Roughly twice a month I’ll get in there and suffer for it as I know it’s a necessary evil.

I have not used this yet, just so you know.  Reading the description, it says it will activate collagen production, and collagen is the thing that holds your face together.  In other words, this is most likely a medical necessity.  If I feel like spending $32 on the full-size, it should probably be tax deductible.

Received a cream highlighter by Doll 10 Beauty, a company I have never heard of.  That is the joy of beauty boxes, getting to try out products from new-to-you companies.  So even though I’m not a huge fan of cream highlighters, it was still cool giving it a go anyway.  The color I got was this very light pearl.  And swatching it, I was like woah, pretty.  It truly was pearly, unlike any other highlighter I’ve owned.  So it has that going for it.  The instructions say to pat it on your skin, not blend it.  If you have to blend it, then you’ve applied too much.  You literally tap it where you want it then leave it alone.  It’s a no frills highlighter for lazy people (like me!), and now I’m totally fine with it.

Got my one millionth mineral eyeshadow from MicaBeauty.  It seems some box is always sending me one of these.  Too bad I don’t like loose eyeshadow even though they sent me a pretty olive green shade.  I dunno.  Do people even use loose eyeshadows?  What is the benefit?  If someone out there has any words of wisdom, please share.  At this point, they are just a mess waiting to happen for me.  Regifted! Nexxxxxxt.

Y’all know how much I love adorable packaging.  This Figs & Rouge hand cream is definitely that.  I probably would have bought it all on my own if someone would have been clever enough to sit a display of it right next to the credit card swiper.  I’ll admit to buying hoards of unnecessary products because they were in close proximity.  Like toe rings or unscented chapstick (borrrrring).  And if your packaging is cute, well that makes it even worse.  This particular hand cream says it is Mango Mandarin scented, but unless that combo smells like a tube of Lil Smarties, then I believe they got the smell wrong.  However, it still smells pretty good, the lotion is nice and cool, and then it sinks in pretty much immediately so you can go about your business without sticky lotion hands.  I approve.  Put it in your basket.

Last item is the one that I thought I would like the best.  It’s a Starlooks lipgloss in the shade Guilty Pleasure.  I have nothing against a rosy pink shade, but this one did not show up well on my lips, FOR ONE.  For two, it was sticky and gross.  Just did not like.  As in, no thank you.  Otherwise known as ewwwww.  Aka, simply NO.

But you might like it so go ahead.

That’s it loverlies.  I’m leaving town now.  If I can sneak out of whatever party my husband has conned me into going to, I might be able to jump back in for another post over the weekend.  However, he’s already informed me that that is RUDE and highly looked down upon.  Pfffft.