In case you haven’t been reading this blog from the very beginning, you should know the end of December marks my one year blogging anniversary. You have roughly 180 posts to catch up on. Get busy. You should probably call into work tomorrow. Pretty sure this is a legitimate reason. And nothing to do with a New Year’s Eve hangover.

Here’s my Blush Mystery Beauty Box:

Is it just me or did Blush send this exact same Klorane shampoo with Desert Date in their October box? What the hell, Blush? You couldn’t space out your repeats? I mean, I literally got this two months ago. That’s not near enough time for me to forget about it. On a positive note, I like this shampoo so I’m completely fine with getting another bottle. It’s just weird, that’s all.

I’m currently making my way through the one I got back in October. The smell is luscious. I don’t know what Desert Date is, but it’s glorious. Now there is no conditioner that goes with this shampoo, but it’s so moisturizing that it gets a pass. I’d use this for the rest of my life if I didn’t like to try new stuff all the time. It’s a nice simple shampoo with great smell and softness. Approved! Put it in your basket.

Got this Paula’s Choice Shine Stopper and I got excited immediately. I have been looking for that holy grail product that would keep my t-zone oil under control. This one, however, is a little different from your typical foundation primer. You apply it after your foundation but before your powder. Kind of strange, sort of feels wrong, but the result is oh so right. It sucks the oil off your face like this magical oil sucking machine. Your skin is left powdery soft and gently matte for much longer than normal. But It doesn’t keep the oil from coming back completely although it’s the closest thing I’ve ever tried.

In case you’re wondering, I still hate perfume. I haven’t grown a bit this year as you can clearly see. This Clean Shower Fresh smells good though. Notes are lemon, mandarin, jasmine, orange blossom and musk. It definitely has a fresh, clean scent. I would not be opposed to smelling like this. If I wore perfume. Which I don’t. This paragraph (and this point) is MOOT. Nexxxxxt.

Got a cute little Cargo eyeshadow single in the shade Oz which is – you guessed it – a yellowy gold. It’s a pretty decent eyeshadow. Nice color; nothing too unique, though. Best thing about this, however, is the adorable little tin it’s housed in. I’d buy just about anything if you put it in a tin. A tin makes everything a better and cuter. Well, except for sardines. I draw the line at sardines. Nothing’s helping sardines unless you replace them with chocolate and then sardines are pretty darn cute. With or without the tin.

What is my point? I dunno. The eyeshadow is alright and I’ll go ahead and keep it. Moving on.

But then I got this Lip Fusion Plump and Shine lipstick in the shade Babydoll. Gotta love that code word “plumping” because if you know anything at all about makeup, you’d know that plumping lipsticks are fantasies. They are not real things. They are leprechauns and unicorns. They are Bigfoot and and the Loch Ness Monster. They are cellulite creams and diet pills. You get my drift. But if you are interested in a basic lipstick with a bit of gloss and peppermint tingle, then by all means, have at it. I didn’t find it particularly interesting so I’ve passed it along to my daughter who loves just about anything that’s free (even sardines).

Not that receiving a body lotion is too exciting or anything but I do like this Ahava one. It has a very nice, clean scent. Consistency is slightly better than thin but definitely not thick or rich. Sinks in pretty quick though, so that’s nice. I don’t hate getting samples like this because I know I’ll use them. Sort of the equivalent of getting a box of tampons as a Christmas gift – maybe slightly better. Both useful things, but nothing to trip over your own feet to get to. Trust me, I’ve done that before. It hurt, but it was Chanel so entirely worth it.

Now what in Sam Hell am I supposed to do with this Nuxe Huile Prodigieuse golden shimmer dry oil? I am 40 dadgum years old. Am I off to the school dance? Am I bar hopping with my 22-year-old friends? Am I headed to a New Year’s Eve party with all the other cool people? Sadly, no. None of those things. I am sitting home blogging about how I’m never going to use this golden shimmer dry oil because golden shimmer and pajamas look weird together. Like, I’m pretty sure that’s how crazy starts, and I’m trying to push that moment off for several more years.

Now for one product I do love is this Pixi Endless Silky Eye Pen eyeliner in Teal. Ugh. It’s so creamy and vibrant. Really really lovely. Wouldn’t mind having a few more of these. You know, to go with the 17 Urban Decay 24/7 eyeliners I already own. Well! If you’re going to hoard makeup, do it properly. I’ve only used this on my upper eyelid, so the real test will be if it’ll stay on my waterline as good as my Sumita eyeliner that I cherish and adore. I probably should have tested that out before I wrote this post. Well, I am nothing if not professional.

Perhaps the weirdest thing I got in the box is the Keranique Scalp Stimulating Shampoo. At first I’m like, oh yeah another shampoo. Not exciting, but still useful. Then while copying the link to the product to post in the blog, I see it is one of those infomercial products, and that it helps regrow hair. Mmmmmmm, k. I’m just gonna go ahead and toss this one in the bin. If you wanna know if it works, just read the ad.

Last thing in the bag is this Avene Cleanance soapless cleanser. I’ve used this a couple of times and have officially decided it is the liquidy gel version of Dial bar soap. Has a bar soap smell, isn’t really moisturizing. But it gets you pretty clean. Foams up really really good too. It’s a good soap for oily skin as it helps control sebum production (science!) and refines pore size. So technically, this should be my holy grail cleanser. They sent me a full size bottle so perhaps by the end of it, I will be able to deem it just that.

All in all, I feel like Blush was raiding their samples bins for leftover products that they needed to get rid of. We didn’t even get product cards like we usually do – I had to research on my own how to use some of these things (tragic). I am seriously on the verge of canceling, I think. I’m giving it one more month to straighten up.

That’s it, friends. This is my last post of 2014. Hope it’s ended on a high note for you. And that you’ll come back next year for more fun stuff. And by next year, I mean TOMORROW, just to be clear. Happy new year, y’all!

Don’t you just love it when you frequent a business so much they actually recognize you when you come into the store?  If Sephora was a Starbucks, they’d have my Tall Raspberry Mocha Non-Fat No-Whip all lined up and ready to go.  As a matter of fact, I go in so often they might as well go ahead and get me the Starbucks.  You know, really drive that customer service thing to home plate.

Got my Blush Mystery Beauty Box:

My face hurts from so much frowning.  Uhhhhnnnn.

I’m on the verge of canceling this box, I think.  I just haven’t been very impressed, or else the impressive boxes are few and far between.  I feel very grown up and responsible for saying this cuz y’all know how much I love my monthly Christmas surprises.  So as soon as I find another box to replace this box, I’ll let this box go.  Might’ve negated my grown up and responsible comment, but I’m not a superhuman.

Let’s start with the Julien Farel Hydrate Restore hair shampoo thing.  I’d already gotten a similar Julien Farel product in a previous Blush box, so imagine my excitement in getting another one. (There isn’t any.) This go round, however, they sent the one for fine hair, which I have. Fiiiiiine. I will accept.

Instructions are just like last time where you apply directly to dry hair then add a little water to make a cream. Massage then rinse. Seems easy, except it’s not. I have really long hair and putting this on it dry is a nightmare. Like, it never feels even; there’s dry hair patches everywhere. If you wanna kick your OCD into high gear, I highly recommend.

And then naturally after all that flashy production, I ended up with very dirty, greasy hair and had to rewash it with regular shampoo. Julien Farel himself told me I used too much. Welllll, you need to put precise measurements on your bottle then. You can’t just tell me to cook fish til it flakes easily with a fork cuz that isn’t a real cooking term. My fellow Virgos are all nodding their heads, I just feel it.

Next product is the Nick Chavez Prickly Pear Restoring Mist.  If I cared enough about hair products, maybe I would be excited for this.  But my hair routine is hardly an event.  I like to put in a leave-in conditioner, maybe a cream to control the frizzies, but other than that, I’m pretty low-maintenance (on the hair front, that is).  However, because I have it and technically I paid for it, I’m using it.  Directions say after shampooing and conditioning, spray onto damp hair on ends and comb through.  Does this sentence confuse anyone else?  Should there be a comma in there somewhere?  Are they saying to spray on damp hair AND on the ends, or just spray on your damp ends?  Oh my gawd, my OCD can’t take it.  Forget it; I hate this product.

And then Blush decides to go over the top with their fabulousness and send me a repeat item that I just received barely a few months ago.  It’s the Laura Geller Cool Lids cream eyeshadow in Silver Sands.  Uhhhhh, delete.  They could’ve at least sent a different color if they were determined to mail this thing out again.  However, I didn’t use the first one so a second one in a different color wouldn’t have mattered one bit.  I’m feeling slightly asshole-ish, so here’s a couple things I actually care about:

1.  SkinMedica TNS Eye Repair – I never hate an eye cream, or at least the receiving of an eye cream.  This one says it improves smoothness and hydration, fine lines and wrinkles, plus the full size price is $98.  I don’t know about you, but expensive skin care gives me hope.  Certainly they wouldn’t price their stuff that high if it doesn’t perform miracles?  Isn’t that like risking a lawsuit or something?  I mean, if I’m paying almost a $100 for an eye cream, I’d be a little pissy if it doesn’t replace my old, crepey eyes for the eyes of a 14-year-old.  As soon as I start using it, I’ll let you know how it goes.  The last SkinMedica product I tried was a pretty good one, so my expectations are high. Bring it.

2.  Nuxe Clarifying Cream Mask – I love trying new masks as you may know (or should know, if you read this blog like a proper human).  I read the benefits on the website, and it says it will clarify skin and refine pores.  I don’t really know what clarifying skin means, but anything that mentions pores, I’m all over.  I just want porcelain skin – is that too much to ask?  How did I even manage to get cavern-like pores, anyway?  I’ve behaved virtually all of my 40 years.  I mean, I didn’t wear sunscreen or wash my face for about 38 of them, but certainly that has nothing to do with it.  In any case, I’ll report back in a future empties post.  I’m trying not to open products until I’m ready to use them, or else I’ll end up speed-using something expensive within a 10-day period before it automatically turns to poison (i.e., expiration date)(i.e., as discussed in this post).

But why revel too much in product that I care about when I can complain some more?  Cuz while the Jane Iredale Eye Gloss is a really pretty color (called Aqua Silk), it is a cream and I do not love.  We’ve discussed this.  However, I gave it a go in an effort to be fair.  Yes, it’s very vivid.  Blends pretty good.  Sheers out well in case you do not want bright turquoise eyelids (I mean, who does?).  But it’s just not my thing.  It could be YOUR thing, though; that’s why I’m writing this blog.  They have a nice little selection of colors if you are so inclined.  I topped the turquoise with a gold shimmer and it made for a really sparkly, pretty look – gold, primarily but with a hint of turquoise peeking through.  So even I can create a masterpiece out of something that is not my favorite.  Obviously, I am a PROFESSIONAL.

And I’m not saying I dislike the Lauren B. Beauty hand cream I got, but, I mean it’s hand cream. Not really anything that’s knocking my socks off or anything. Although it says right on the tube it has antioxidants and retinol in it, and I’m assuming lotion doesn’t do that normally. So I may not necessarily enjoy applying the hand cream, but at some point it might make my wrinkly knuckle skin go away. It probably won’t, but wouldn’t that be nice. And a miracle. Also, I feel it is my responsibility to mention this lotion sank into my hands almost immediately. If you’re gonna be a lotion, might as well be a good one.

Last item in the box is the Miracle Skin Transformer Spotlight, a nice little BB cream full of sparkles and glitter. That’s not a typo. Who is this made for exactly? Twelve year olds? I can’t think of one 40 year old who enjoys a good shimmery BB cream. Well, perhaps I can, but there’s a high possibility they may be drag queens.

In any case, the coverage is pretty sheer although it does even the tone a bit. I own the regular BB cream (or Skin Enhancer, as they prefer to be called), and it’s one of my favorites. So I’m not sad in the least I’m giving the Spotlight away – I already own the best version; no reason to pout.

However, to be clear, the sparkles in the Spotlight aren’t super apparent unless you are in direct sunlight. So if you insist on using this product, make sure you are A) in 7th grade or B) enjoy indoor activities. This is my professional opinion, i.e., 100% accurate and NOT WRONG.

Okay, the end. More boxes to review and hauls forthcoming. Serious, you will love, so come back soon.

I don’t know about you, but I could use another weekend.  It’s hard coming back to work after 9 days off.  I keep asking my husband what time I can stop working altogether and live the life of a princess like I was born to do.  He looks at me as if I’m speaking Jibberish, so I’m not too sure he understands what I’m asking.  I’ll keep bringing it up to him about 15 times per day to be sure.

Until that day arrives, here’s my Blush Mystery Beauty Box:

This is one of their better boxes.  I’ll admit the last couple of months illicited big fat yawns, and I even contemplated canceling.  Mind you, it was a fleeting thought, but a thought nonetheless.

Normally I don’t appreciate receiving a shampoo or conditioner without its counterpart.  However, because I make exceptions to my own rules and also cuz I looooove the smell of this Klorane Desert Date shampoo, I am perfectly fine with receiving it.  I already own the leave-in cream, and the scent is warm and exotic.  Do you know what I’m saying when I say that?  Like, it’s not fruity or smells like clean laundry or an ocean breeze (whatever THAT is supposed to smell like).  It isn’t woody or spicy.  It isn’t perfumey.  You minus all those smells, and whatever you have left is what Desert Date smells like.  I’m certain you understand me 100% now.

Reading the description online (because I haven’t gotten a chance to use this yet), it says it is for dry, damaged or brittle hair.  I also just now discovered there is no matching conditioner for this shampoo, only the leave-in cream and a mask.  I feel better, don’t you?  You can’t receive the matching conditioner if there isn’t one.  It’s basic mathematics.

Got another can of the Batiste dry shampoo.  Otherwise known as my all time favorite dry shampoo in all the land.  Serious, I even wrote a review on it that you can read here if you’d like.  (You’d like.)  In fact, I’m almost always in possession of a can of Batiste.  I’ve never had any other brand “clean” my hair so well.  Approved!  Put it in your basket.

I have heard fabulous things about the StriVectin-AR retinol stuff, so I’m very excited about the Advanced Retinol Night Treatment.  It also won a beauty award, and y’all know what that does to me.  It could be slug trail for all I know, but I MUST. HAVE. IT. anyway.

We all know the best thing for anti aging is retinol.  I’ll admit, though, I have zero products in my stash that has retinol in it.  That’s because I buy products based on cute packaging, which I suppose is the wrong way to go about it.  But if I can get an adorable Instagram picture out of it, my brain tells me it’s worth it.  Am I ridiculous?  Probably.  But the good news is now I DO have a product with retinol in it, and I suspect by the time I finish this teeny tiny tube, I will have the face of a 14-year-old.  I have an email into the company right now asking if this is a serum or a moisturizer, cuz my anxiety won’t let me not follow the rules.  I don’t want my face falling off, which is bound to happen the very instant I branch out on my own science experiment.  I’ll give you all the scoop in a future Empties post.

I have previously owned the Glytone Hydrate eye cream, which was the eye cream that wouldn’t die.  Thankfully, however, it was a pretty nice eye cream; otherwise, getting a repeat would be hideously frowned upon.  I like thicker consistency creams instead of those watery, thin ones, and I also prefer the kinds that sink into the skin quickly.  Lucky for Glytone, it fits the bill on both fronts.  So whenever I’m ready to use the same eye cream for the next 15 years, I’ll crack open the lid on this one.  A little goes a long way, which means good value for your money.  But it can also be very boring for those people that like to try different things.  Cuz seriously, the product will replicate itself as soon as you think you’re just about done with it.

Last product in the box is a very pretty Cargo BeachBlush in the shade Cable Beach.  First of all, the packaging is to die for.  I love little tins.  I’ve been known to buy really stupid stuff cuz in came in a tin.  Like a candle that smells like a Desert Oasis, which isn’t an actual smell (or thing – have you seen a desert oasis? No you have not).  Or a lip balm that doesn’t smell like anything at all.  So my natural inclination is to love this blush.  And while it didn’t stop me mid-swipe, or make my eyes fall out of my head in wonder, it is still pretty.  I can bet I would’ve bought this on my own if I had seen it in a store.

Alrighty, friends.  You’ve reached the end of another post.  How amazing are you?  (Very.)  I’ll be back tomorrow with something new and exciting and extra extra ramble-y.  Guaranteed.  Bye!

I survived yesterdays Ulta sale.  Only 10 more days to go.  If I somehow manage to emerge from this without permanent damage, it will be a miracle.  I mean, I’ve already bought two things a few days ago, but I’m talking about from this point forward.  Anything from the past doesn’t count.

Moving on!  Here’s my Blush Mystery Beauty Box:

How unimpressive is this box?  Very.

I dunno, guys.  I opened it and just felt very blah about the whole situation.  Maybe once I try everything I will change my mind, but for now it is an unfavorite.  However, not everything is a poo.  Well, you’ll see.  Just keep reading.

First item is a staple product, a pack of Lumene Sensitive Touch cleansing wipes.  Nothing to get too excited about, although I will use them.  In fact, I just finished the last of my current pack of wipes so this actually comes in handy as I know I’ll never run errands in the evening on a work day.  Who wants to go to Walmart on a Wednesday wearing heels and needing pajamas (and possibly cocktail) in a very bad way?  Not this girl.  There’s only 10 wipes in the pack so I’ll definitely be buying more wipes on my Saturday grocery shopping trip.  Maybe more Lumene ones if they’re fabulous.  We’ll see.

The most gigantic product in the bag is perhaps the most useless to me.  Sounds about right.  It’s the Color Wow One Minute Transformation styling cream.  Is it time for bed yet, cuz I just got sleepy.  Apparently this helps liven up your dry, frizzy hair into liquidy smooth, silky hair (per their own claims).  So I thought I’d work a little into the ends of my hair to see if it will tame them into submission, as that’s the part that always seems to have a mind of its own.  If you were to compare my before and after picture and then accidentally drop them on the floor then pick them up and try to arrange them back again your brain would seize up from trying to decipher which one is which.  No, this product did not work for me.  And yes, that was probably a run-on sentence.

I’m going to give this product one more chance before I toss it.  There is another application method which may work better.  You can apply it on your hair then take a round brush and hair dryer to it for a few seconds.  That sounds like a lot of work for a non hair washing day, but I’m doing it for you guys.  I am a professional, just so you know.

Now for something I love.  If you have roughly $20 and you want to buy a really nice dry shampoo, try the Klorane one.  It’s very very good, which is an expert opinion if I’ve ever heard one.  It does have white powder in it, but I don’t mind that one bit.  To me the white powder means it’s working.  If I don’t see white powder I consider the product defective.  It’s probably a bit of psychological brain trickery thinking the white powder performs better.  But it also could be the truest, most accurate statement ever spoken in the history of the world.  I might as well be President with that kind of power.

Aside from all that, I wouldn’t buy a full size can of this because the cheap Batiste works just as good.

Next item is the most intriguing.  It’s the SkinCeuticals Advanced Pigment Corrector.  First of all, it won an Allure Breakthrough Award, so that right there is enough to make me pay attention.  You apply it like a serum (p.m.) or after an antioxidant (a.m.) and it’s supposed to lighten your dark spots plus keep them from coming back.  Does that not sound like a miracle?  Bare-faced, I have a splotchy, freckley complexion.  Remnants of old pimples.  Even full coverage foundation has trouble fixing me.  I have sun damage and bad decisions all over my face because when I was young, tanning beds cured skin cancer, not caused it.  So I’m actually kind of excited about giving this a try.  It has hydroquinone in it, which is the gold-standard for pigment lightening.  Also, retinol.  It’s not a very big tube, so hopefully it starts working quick so I can let you know if the $90 price tag is worth it.

Got this stick bronzer from Vapour Organic Beauty.  I’m not a huge fan of cream products, especially ones that draw super scary dark stripes on your face.  I mean, what if I do it wrong and ruin my makeup and have to start all over?  Who has time for that?  Needless to say, I experimented with this on a Saturday when I had nothing more to do than lay around in pajamas watching Breaking Bad on Netflix.  (In other words, var var busy.)  At first application it was like Holy Moly! but then I started blending out the streak with my fingers and it simply melted into my skin.  Left a very natural bronzey sheen right in the hollow of my cheek.  Gained some confidence so finished up with some bronze along my hair line and on my temples.  It looked really nice.  So I figure on days I have more time to spend doing bronzer or contour, I can use this without fear.  On most days when I’m getting ready for work where I spend most of my time getting my eyeliner drawn on straight, I’ll have to stick with my quick and easy powder.

Last product in the box is a lipgloss from Juice Beauty.  I got the color Guava which is a bit of an orange shade.  It’s creamy, glossy and pretty as far as pigment goes. The smell is a little odd – kind of sweet at first, but the longer you think about it the less sweet it becomes.  It’s not enough to make me not use it, but it’s surely not a NYX Butter Gloss which if I hadn’t already known it was lipgloss I’d swear it was cake.  Well, with my eyes closed. I mean I can clearly see it’s not cake.  But it smells just like cake.  If my eyes were closed and someone put the wand underneath my nose … Oh, you know what I mean.  Long story short, I don’t hate the Juicy Beauty lipgloss.

We’ve reached the end.  Carpal tunnel is about to set in so the timing is perfect.  Hope y’all enjoy the rest of your day.  I’ll be back tomorrow with more interesting things to say.  Would you expect otherwise?  No you would not.

Just a little reminder that this is my month-long birthday extravaganza. I like gift cards.

Here’s my Blush box:

If I felt like doing a math problem, I’d calculate I like about 60% of this box. But I suck at math, so 60% might as well be half of a half divided by two times a billion. It’s a language I simply don’t speak. So I’ll just say ho hum pigs bum cuz that makes more sense.

First product that I immediately didn’t want is the Neuma style texturizer. What is this? Is it mousse? Gel? Is it one of those volumizing cream things that creates a stiff sticky-up hair fiasco upon your head? I dunno, and I’m scared to try. I’ve been down that round before and it’s var var unattractive. Think I’ll just stick to my regimen of wash, blow dry, flat iron and call it good.

Next item is the Nailtiques nail polish in the color Tahiti and it made my face go like this: -__-

I wish I loved nail polish. I really do. I would be less annoyed that’s for sure. So I’m not saying anything about this particular nail polish or even the Nailtiques brand itself. I just can’t ever get excited about any of it, any time, for any reason. Unless you’re the new Christian Louboutin nail polish – well perhaps I can make an exception for you. But that’s just me being shallow. Moving on.

Got this Nick Chavez Plump ‘N Thick shampoo, and I’m thinking alright I’ll use this, along with your luxuriously fine conditioner that you’ve no doubt sent me. Exxxxceeeept you didn’t. How am I supposed to get the full effect of the plumping and thickening benefits you so proudly tout if I ain’t got no conditioner to seal the deal? Rude.

So I used this the other day and paired it up with my Carol’s Daughter hair mask, which is the only solution I could come up with. The shampoo is fine. Isn’t overly perfumed, lathered well. Got my hair nice and clean. But who the hell knows if it’ll plump or thicken anything? I sure don’t. Pretty sure I’d have to use an entire industrial-sized bottle to find out anyway. Nothing is instant gratification anymore. If you want something you have to work at it. And who has time for that?

Finally things are taking a turn. I am not unhappy to receive the Pixi Beauty Lid Last shadow pen. I’m trying to cultivate a love for cream shadows. Even purchased a special cream shadow brush from Sigma for just this purpose. And then watched a tutorial on the Pixi Beauty website. I am nothing if not thorough. I mean if you can’t be obsessed properly, why bother?

The color I got was Graphite Glint which is a dark grey. And it looks really good as a smudgy liner. I’m gonna play with it this weekend to see if I can make a smokey eye with it. I’ll report back. Maybe take a pic if it turns out okay.

Best thing in the box was the Dr. Brandt matte BB cream. I wore this over the weekend, and I thought it was very nice. The finish was matte but not crazy matte, and the coverage was pretty decent for a BB cream. I’m not a huge hoarder of BB creams. I usually use them once and move on, but I think I’ll keep this one.

Last product in the box is the SkinMedica Dermal Repair Cream moisturizer. I have stored this away for another time cuz I’m currently working through a full-size never ending rose scented one that I’m forcing upon my husband to share with me otherwise I’ll be using it for the next 15 years or so.

I had never heard of the SkinMedica brand, but I saw online it was roughly $125 for the full size. And also they sell it at the same place where my daughter got her wisdom teeth removed. This was discovered today in fact while I was sequestered in a room by myself watching a video on post-op care. I had to watch the video twice. I was distracted, obviously.

That’s it. Blush box = done. More fun stuff tomorrow.

Welcome to the start of July box reviews. As usual, I’m already behind.

Well. I’m var var busy. Starbucks and Sephora don’t happen all by themselves ya know?

Here’s what came in my Blush box this month:

Other than that ridiculous packet sample, I think I’m alright with this box. I will use almost everything, even the scary tall thing with the nozzle.

Speaking of which, that’s a Julien Farel Zero Frizz Restore shampoo, conditioner and treatment (all-in-one) for frizzy, dry hair. Y’all know I am frizzy and poufy, so this product seems like it would be my dream come true. I was a little intimidated cuz of the applicator and not knowing really what to do with it. Had to watch a YouTube video that showed an actual person using this stuff for me to feel safe. I recommend you do the same cuz if I try to explain you still won’t know.

Fiiiiiine. Use the nozzle to apply product in sections all over dry hair. Use the palm of your hand to massage product into scalp. Get in the shower. Apply water to help create a mousse and rub it around like shampoo. Take a wide toothed comb and comb through to the ends of the hair. Leave on for a couple minutes, then rinse.

I’m doing this tonight and it better do as it’s told cuz I don’t have time to re-shampoo nothin. I’ll report back and let you know.

Then I got a tube of hand and nail cream from Great Barrier Island Bee Co. I’m not opposed to receiving products like this since they are almost always 100% useable. But I have such a huge store of hand lotions I’m starting to get anxiety. I’ll never finish all this stuff. How will this ever happen? I have partially used lotion tubes everywhere and not one of them is close to the end. I am going to carry these around with me for all eternity. Along with an enormous box of nail polishes. My room in Heaven better have a lot of storage space.

On a less morbid note, this lotion smells like honey and I like it a lot. And it’s from New Zealand so it’s extra fancy.

Next up is an eye thing from SmartFX called SmartEye. I call it a “thing” cuz I really don’t know what it is. The tube says it’s a wrinkle lift, so I suppose we’ll go with that. It’s supposed to work in 60 seconds, which I’ll be honest, my cat ears perked up immediately at that. According to statistics, 100% of the people said it works, so at this point nothing else matters.

I’ve used it for the past couple days with an excitement bordering on mania. It’s a tinted cream that blends translucent. It’s not too thick or real loose. I wouldn’t call it a concealer although it does help conceal dark circles somewhat. I put this on under my foundation, and if I’m not mistaken or under the influence of psychological brain trickery, this product might actually do what it says. My under eye seems clearer, brighter, smoother. Less 40, more 20. Okay, 30. But younger nonetheless. I’m very happy I own this. Hopefully there is a SmartFace product in the works as we speak. If not, someone needs to invent one immediately.

Received a very pretty honey nude lipgloss from Rouge Bunny Rouge. Prior to trying all the other products in the box, this was my at-first-glance favorite. First of all, it’s Russian (therefore exotic), and second of all it’s lipgloss and I wear lipgloss daily. So I knew it would be a good one. The color looks quite natural on my lips. The shine is pretty, and most importantly, it’s not gloopy. I’ve worn this on it’s own and as a topper and I love it both ways.

When I wore it on it’s own, I used the Cattiva lip liner in Nude as an accompaniment. Both items go together so beautifully. I don’t typically wear lip liner, although I better get on the bandwagon cuz I’ve been noticing some feathering going on in my old lady lips. This one is creamy and glides on smooth. Also, no sharpening required which is my preference. You know, being lazy and all that.

Last thing in the box is that blasted packet. What am I supposed to do with this? Bah. Anyway, it’s a two-step alpha beta peel from Dr. Dennis Gross. I’m sure it’s a lovely product, and maybe I’m being unfair projecting my bad one-time-use packet juju onto this. Probably I won’t want to use this stuff more than one time, or maybe I will see results after one time. Who’s to know? I just haven’t decided if I want to mess with it or not. Mom, if this thing gets regifted to you, please know it comes from love. And frustration. But most importantly, love.

That’s the end of this one, lovies. Hope your Sunday has been loads of fun, and the thought of Monday lurking like a lurking lurker doesn’t piss you off like it does me.

First box of the month y’all, and it’s a good one! I love starting out my month of boxes on a high note. Add that to the euphoria of being at the front end of all my deliveries, and I’m simply beside myself. I don’t even know how I manage to sit still and be normal.

Here’s what I got:

You may be thinking to yourself, so?, if you look to the right of the NYX eyeshadow. That’s exactly what I said. But I was so impressed with the sheer size and thoughtfulness of the palette, that I quickly forgot about everything else. So yes, awesome box even though I only really liked one thing in it. Logic only I can understand; don’t even bother.

So this NYX palette is called Be Free.  It includes 25 eyeshadows (hooray!), 3 blushes (yasss!), and 7 lipglosses (boo; snore).  Palettes are my weakness.  I see one and I barely take notice of my own breathing for about 30 seconds.  I have an extraordinary collection stashed under my bathroom sink and more in a basket on the back of the toilet (you know, the proper place to store your palettes).  And yet, I still need more.  I may never get over my palette addiction.

I’ve used several of the eyeshadows and they are quite good.  I didn’t have any pigmentation issues, blending took little to no effort.  I’m var var pleased.  As for the blushes, there is a bronze-y one in the center, and then two pinks that almost look exactly alike. They could’ve used a tweak in that department, but I’m not in charge of NYX unfortunately.  Lastly, the lipglosses.  They’re just okay.  I don’t prefer digging lipgloss out of a pan like that.  I used a couple and they’re pretty sheer.  Not saying I won’t continue to use them, but they will definitely be layered over a lipstick at the very least.

Well I said I only liked the palette in the box, but that’s not technically true.  I love cleansers too.  This DermaNew cleanser is a new-to-me brand and it seems to be full-size.  For the sake of this review, I went ahead and sampled it last night even though there are 3 other cleansers ahead of it.  I am a professional; we’ve discussed this.  Anyway, I really did like this.  It was definitely creamy and it “sticks” to your skin as your applying it instead of feeling loose and drippy.  Am I making any sense?  I hope so.  However, after wiping it off I did feel a little tightness in my face, and not in a facelift sort of way.  So it may be slightly drying.  Or I could be assuming horrible things and should use the product more than once before I say something hideous.  But also, I’m having an oily t-zone issue, so I was fine with any drying it may be doing.

And now for an enormous amount of hair products.  Why this happened, I have no idea.  Whoever is in charge of VARIETY needs a stern talking to.  In the meantime, I have these three things:

A glossing serum from Phyto.  This claims to be an anti-frizz leave-in serum that will make my dry, dull hair come to life.  So I tested that theory.  I used a few drops mainly on my spiky ends after washing last night.  The feel of this was surprisingly less greasy than other oil products.  I say that as if I know it’s made of oil, but honestly I have no idea.  Regardless, it was quite light and I sort of liked it.

I used this in conjunction with the other item I got, the Alterna Caviar Seasilk Oil Gel.  This product is also an anti-frizz treatment, but I applied it on the rest of my hair (not the ends).  I may have done this wrong.  I may have applied two products that do the exact same thing.  But even so, this purple gel looks so stunning sitting on my bathroom counter that it doesn’t even matter.  It may end up more of a decoration piece anyway.  I already have a drawer full of other stuff to use.

However, I will say that my hair is very sleek and soft today.  I was reading the intended use of the Alterna, and while I didn’t necessarily do it wrong, it did say it provided a lightweight hold for styling.  Which doesn’t do a damn bit of good if you go straight to bed after using this.  Ah well.  Still looks stunning on my bathroom counter though!  There will always be that.

Last item I got was a repeat – the Briogeo Don’t Despair, Repair hair mask.  I’m not opposed to this item, but I already have two large mask products and one of them – Carol’s Daughter – works amazing and smells insane.  So I can either put the Briogeo under my bathroom sink for the future or I can be the best daughter in the world and it give to my mother.  Probably going to go with the latter because I may not have a Bachelor’s Degree like the other daughter, but I have a free hair mask to bequeath and that’s virtually the same thing in terms of proud factor.  Pretty sure, anyway.

That’s it for today.

First box of the month!  Get excited, people.  And then really get excited cuz I know you were faking it the first time.

I know, it’s hard to muster up emotion when all these fabulous things are happening to other people (me).  But seriously, you can subscribe to them too and then we can be excited together.  Plus, if there is one person in the world who can be your biggest cheerleader-slash-enabler, it’s me.  You may be broke, but you got 11 beauty box subscriptions.  I see nothing wrong with that picture.

It’s Blush Mystery Beauty Box time.  Here’s what they sent:

I will admit that last month was a better month.  But I’m not hugely disappointed.  Let me explain.  Poo-poo #1 is the fact that they sent me a duplicate freebie, and it wasn’t even a very good freebie.  The Elizabeth Arden Untold perfume was in my January or February box, and I had given it away almost immediately.  And now they’ve sent me another one.  I’m being stalked and I no likee.

Poo-poo #2 is a nail polish from Cult Cosmetics in a very unfortunate grey color.  I know I sound like I’m on repeat when I say I don’t prefer nail polish of any kind whatsoever, but the least they could’ve done was send a color fit for the season.  I’d at least use something in lilac or robin egg blue.  I mean, I’d use it like once and then stash it in my drawer for the next 15 years.  But still.

Poo-poo #3 is only a half poo.  Because it is Jonathan Product shampoo for fine/thin hair.  Sounds alright.  But there is no matching conditioner.  Excuse me, what?  How am I supposed to use the shampoo then?  Just apply it on my hair all willy-nilly and hope for the best?  Then I realized I can use it with my Carol’s Daughter hair mask and call it good.  Crisis averted.  Carry on.

They sent two other little freebies (aside from the perfume) that I was fine with, so we’re done with poo-poos.  I got this little leg hair inhibiting towelette by Whish.  First of all, what?  Definitely got my attention.  Apparently, after a shower, spa treatment or yoga session (very specific, mind you), you swipe this all over for a refreshed, cooling feeling that also slows future hair growth.  Huh.  How about that.  I’m almost certain there is no possibility whatsoever that that actually happens.  Someone needs to whip me up some scientific data like stat.

The other freebie is a little packet of toner by Jade Spa.  I was fine with this.  It was actually kind of nice.  Aside from the alarming brown color.  I thought for a split second I got a rotten one.  But it smelled herbally and nice.  Full size is $29.50.

In other words, I’m over it already.  Next.

So I truly love dry shampoo. The whiter the powder, the better. I’m sure it’s mostly psychological brain trickery, but the white powder is clear, concise evidence the dry shampoo is working. Now, I got sent this Oscar Blandi version that has invisible white powder. I’m not sure that’s even a thing, much less be able to handle it properly. Invisible white powder? I’m scared.

Then there is this dual lip liner/lip stick crayon from La Bella Donna. It’s kind of a nifty little thing since it’s an all-in-one and very convenient. And they sent me a nice color at least. Therefore, approved. Also, it costs $27, so even if I hated it I’d probably still love it.

Last item in the box is my favorite hands down. It’s this ridiculously expensive moisturizer from Darphin Paris. I’m not sure who can even afford this stuff other than celebrities or debutantes. It’s a mere $295 drop in the bucket my friends. Hopefully it’s the most horrible moisturizer I’ve ever used cuz I can’t afford to be tempted in this horrifying manner.

Well that is all for today. I have another box arriving tomorrow plus a big o batch of haul stuff to report. Look forward to that, and I’ll see you soon. Night!

I have been inundated with beauty boxes this week. They’ve never come all at once like this, and to be honest, I’m not a fan. It’s hard to discreetly receive 11 beauty boxes in the mail without your husband noticing. But when they all show up within a span of 4 days… well, it’s stink eye overload over here.

Here’s the loot:

First things first, the packets. You all know how much I love one-time use packets. And if you read my blog, you know that’s completely not true. However – and here’s an example of how I make exceptions to my own rules – I’m okay with a packet if all that’s inside is something as boring as body lotion. Take for instance, this one from AmLactin. Are you napping yet? I am. Body lotion is only interesting if, A: it doesn’t look like a pharmacy made it. And, well, that’s about it. I thought I’d have a B: and C: but I don’t.

On the other hand, it is the #1 recommended moisturizer brand by dermatologists. So good news, then! I found a B: body lotion is only interesting if it doesn’t look like a dermatologist recommended it. Am I being hateful? Probably.

Next packet is a facial cleanser from First Aid Beauty. A day prior to receiving this, I was actually looking at purchasing a full size tube from Sephora. In a clear superheroic feat of willpower, I did not. So, I was excited to see this packet, despite its hideous packetyness. However, I used it the other day, and it does not smell very good. I know I would never want to use a full size tube of this. The packet version, for once, worked out best. But that’s just our secret, k?

How about a 100% organic cotton face cloth from Suki? No? Okay, moving along.

Got a tube of StriVectin Intensive Concentrate for Stretch Marks and Wrinkles. About got carpal tunnel just typing that out, just FYI. Certainly someone could’ve came up with a shorter name? Something without the words stretch marks and wrinkles in it? Blah.

Anyway, this must be an old version of this cream because StriVectin’s website now calls it Advanced Intensive. I could be wrong, though, but it’s something I noticed. Regardless, I do have stretch marks (no!) and wrinkles (NO!), and now that I’m fully feeling miserable about myself, thanks for the cream.

I’m excited about the itty bitty tube of Laura Gellar Spackle Under Makeup Primer. I already own the color correcting one, which I love, so I’m cool with sampling another version. Plus, anything with the name spackle in it sounds like something I definitely need to be putting on my face. Cover it up and level it out, I always say. And replace my face with a new one. Thanks.

Look at that huge tube of moisturizer from DCL. Just look at it. I’m going to own that for at least 15 years. They sent me the ultra-light hydrator one, which sounds alright. When I get around to sampling it, I’ll let you know.

Now this product I am super excited to try. It’s the SkinCeuticals Hydrating B5 Gel. And why am I super excited to try it, you ask? Welllll. It comes with a dropper. What more reason do you need?

I am also excited about the Paula’s Choice Skin Perfecting 2% BHA Liquid. It’s a leave-on exfoliant that will hopefully cure the black hole abyss-like pore situation on my face. It claims to do that so we will see.

Got another microdermabrasion cleanser, this time from Miracle Skin Transformer. They make my favorite BB cream, so here’s to hoping they have other good products. They are expensive so that’s a good sign.

Or should be.

Last thing in the box is a pair of eye patches from Talika. I’ve never used eye patches before, but just like the eye patches I got in last month’s Glossybox, you have to wear them for 30 minutes. So looks like I’m gonna have to take off work just so I can wear these things. Otherwise, I won’t have the time.

Why can’t skin care just work instantly? I mean, do they even know how long 30 minutes is? It’s like roughly 15 hours or something.

Well, that’s it for today. I’ll be back soon though. I got 3 boxes in the mail just today, so I’m already behind. Good night!