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The sun has officially gone away, so how anything is getting done today we’ll NEVER freaking know. Ugh.
Anyone else not interested in normal human function when it’s dark and dreary outside? Like, the walking-on-two-feet thing or the putting of food into your own mouth with your own hands kinda deal? Seriously, I’m about *thisclose* to just wheeling myself around in my office chair cuz being upright is a commitment I’m just not ready to make today.
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OMG, are we done yet? NO. Welcome to your Bonus Blog! Y’all better be loving this cuz who carpal tunnels for no dadgum good reason? NOT THIS LADY!
Making it short and sweet once again cuz I’m really trying to keep the momentum going. I mean, I finished some swatching about three hours ago and then spent the next eternity changing the wallpaper in my fake bakery, sooooo .. things are going quite well on the blogging front, clearly. How I’m not finished with all 7,397 drafts in the queue is beyond allll the comprehensions.
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The blogging frenzy continues! Real quickie this afternoon cuz I’ve already fallen asleep like 18 times since typing this sentence. One of these days, I’ll sleep like a normal person, I swear it.
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Bonus Blog! I know we were just in here, but I’ve got ten Polish Pickups to do this month, which is the most I’ve ever had to do at one time. And considering how well I’ve handled things in the past (as in, not very, AT ALL) I’m making a real, legit attempt this time. Cuz who wants to read about the Polish Pickup before all the polish goes away forever? It’s the most ideal scenario, I’m sure of it. PROFESSIONAL BLOGGER EXTRAORDINAIRE? I say YES.
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Black Friday = DONE. All the swatching! All the blogging! All the DADGUM EFFORTING! Seriously, the sweat bead mustache’s been at an all-time high. Last night I did two loads of laundry and then folded all of it STRAIGHT OUT OF THE DRYER, sooo… now we’re all basically confused about whose blog this is, cuz it’s certainly not mine. A facsimile of mine, maybe. I mean, my 18-month-old laundry pile begat other laundry piles and pretty much my closet and bedroom floor have became interchangeable. So again, we’re in the wrong blog, SURELY.
OMG, we made it. Not quite on time, but that is beside the point. Cuz there’s still two and half more days left of the Polish Pickup sale and all the blogs are done. Weeeee! Seriously, if PROFESSIONAL BLOGGER EXTRAORDAIRE is what you’re thinking, you’d be CORRECT. Send bonus points! And a Starbucks just in case.
Okay, now FOCUS. Cuz it’s Polish Emergency plus jazz hands and some serious business up ahead. It’s Anya’s with Lucky 13 Lacquer’s first time in the Polish Pickup, y’all, and now we have to buy up all the things. Take a look at what you’re getting:
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Purple lovers, pay attention! This thing’s got your name written allll over it. (For real. I checked.) According to Anya, it’s full of brightness and joy, and I’d truly have to agree. It’s happiness poured in a bottle, and for that – we lub it lots!
Last reminder that this month’s theme is Fandoms, and Anya was inspired by that one time she drunkenly yelled, “Hodor!” at actor Kristian Nairn who was getting ready to DJ at a club in Seattle. I’ll admit I had to look this one up, cuz anything outside my Leonardo DiCaprio frame of reference gets a bit lost on me sometimes. Apparently Kristian plays Hodor in Game of Thrones, a show that I wish I have been watching but it’s now on it’s 9,000th season and if I can’t get through this pile of 57 back issues of US Weekly sitting on the table, I’m prettttty sure I can’t get caught up on GoT.
The pic:
And now the polish:
THAT ONE TIME DRUNK ME YELLED “HODOR!” AT HODOR
DESCRIPTION: A periwinkle crelly base with silver, ice blue and hint of lime green holographic glitters with ice blue shimmer
OPACITY: Two coats were pretty good, but I did a third to make sure all the spots were covered. Most of you won’t need a third, but I did this swatch at 2am on a work night and with one eye sleeping because I can’t go to bed like a normal person.
More convincing (and ultra swoon-y scenarios) down below!
Cuz hers a pretty lady, that’s why!
In addition to the nail polish, Anya also has a scented top coat up for sale. It’s called Fire and Blood and it smells like burning wood and dragon’s blood. Assuming on that last bit cuz I don’t watch Game of Thrones; however, if you’d like to know who played the Bachelor each year since 2002, I got you boo boo. Regardless, it’s a warm, comforting scent; a bit musky with a touch of something spicy, maybe nutmeg or cinnamon or perhaps some patchouli.
In other words, it’s a crapshoot. It just smells good, and that’s all you really need to know. It lasted on my nails the entire next day before I was forced to take it off (ugh, responsibilities) and I could smell it even when my nails were nowhere near my nose. It’s sooooo good! Totally worth a toss in the shopping cart, if you ask me.
Now here’s where that emergency comes in. The Polish Pickup sale ends at 11:59pm EST on Monday, November 6 and then the polish goes away FOREVER. And I swear, if you’re waking up on November 7, sad and polish-less, I am var var concerned about your brain. CUZ WE’VE BEEN OVER THIS BEFORE, about a trillion times at least.
Oh, and the polish retails for $7 and the top coat retails for $5. But happiness is PRICELESS, just so you know.
To read up on the Polish Pickup, what it is, what it does, click here to read the FAQs. Then while you’re in a clicking mood, join the Polish Pickup group on Facebook (click here!) so you can get in on theme nominations, voting, interacting, and being social all while lounging on couches. Cuz seriously, I can’t think of a better use of your time.
Click here for shopping, and then go be happy.
Later, loves!
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GUYS. The Polish Pickup sale has officially commenced and guess who still has 7,397 blogs to write? Gah! I’m pretty sure the unfortunate lack of Cheetos is to blame. Cuz Cheetos is brain food, or at least my brain food, and without it I am directionless, adrift at sea. And you do not want that, trust me. Cuz I’ve been snorkeling in Mexico without a lifejacket and crying in front of strangers, and THAT is no bueno.
Gotta keep the chatty to practically nil, otherwise I’ll be in here telling you things after the things are no longer the things. And considering how often people just looooooove that, I’m assuming an effort to get the hell on with it would be the most ideal. So let’s jump into some nail polish! Here’s something beautiful from Fair Maiden Polish:
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And in one fell swoop, jaws are dropping, everywhere. Do you see that shifty goodness? And the flakies?! OMG, I’m trying very hard to stay a lady, but the Ugly Ecstasy Face is so dire. If I manage to stay married after this, it’d be a damn near miracle.
As mentioned, the November theme is Fandoms and Sarah and Adrienne were inspired by Pusheen, an adorably tubby little kitty who you’ve probably seen on Facebook as a sticker/emoji type thing. Now she’s on t-shirts and lunch boxes and has her own subscription service. Sooo lazy, yet so famous now. She gives me hope that all the time I’ve spent in pajamas will pay off big time somehow. Universe, get on that, STAT!
Look how precious:
I WANT THAT KITTY! Basically she’s my spirit animal, although I’m less adorably tubby and more just regular tubby and I don’t know what kind of rude sort of science that is, but someone needs to STOP IT.
On a lighter note, this polish is the perfect embodiment of Pusheen. Sarah and Adrienne have done it again! Although did anyone expect otherwise? NO WE DID NOT.
SO LAZY CAN’T MOVE
DESCRIPTION: A light grey holo with magenta/copper/golden-green color shifting shimmer, holographic flakies, iridescent red/gold/green chameleon glitter and berry/gold/blue/violet multichrome iridescent flakies
That’s a lot of goodies! How this thing doesn’t cost like a billion dollars defies allllll the comprehensions. Although considering how much we’d all pay for a bottle full of magic, it still sounds pretty reasonable.
Okay, I’m not saying I have a nail polish problem, but I probably have a nail polish problem. SEND HELP. Except don’t, or I will cut you.
OPACITY: Three thin coats, if you’re curious. And then HAPPINESS FOR EVERYONE! Cuz FLAKIES, guys. They’ll getcha good.
Soooo .. you need this. Cuz walking away from this lovely thing makes no dadgum bit of sense. Unless you don’t like happiness. Or maybe you have no eyes. I dunno.
So Lazy Can’t Move will retail for $11, which leaves plenty of money left over for 18,000 more bottles. Rational behavior? I think YES.
Polish Pickup sale is in full swing now, so get on it boo boos! You have until end of day Monday, November 6 to toss polish in the shopping cart. Although why wait until Monday? You were just sitting around wearing sweatpants doing nothing anyway. Well, if you’re me. OR PUSHEEN.
Need more info on the Polish Pickup? Click here for the FAQs. Same deal, different theme, every month.
WHAT: 50+ indie polish brands all coming together for a one-stop shop event; you buy one or all, it’s up to you! Flat $3 shipping no matter what.
WHERE: http://www.PolishPickup.com
Okay, only one more blog to go. And three days left in the sale. Well, that’s still technically on time, right? RIGHT. Ugh, one of these days I swear I’ll be a proper blogger.
Later, loves!
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I fully intended to be sipping a celebratory wine cooler right about now, but my time wasting skills are officially at an all-time high. Cuz guess what accidental napping and lounging on couches does for you? Not write a blog post, that’s for damn sure. GUYS. The Polish Pickup starts in like 9 hours and I have 7,397 blogs left to write soooo … if y’all got any hives cream handy, I’ll take like a thousand tubes.
Okay, FOCUS. In an attempt to post something, anything, here’s my best 2-in-the-morning-and-with-both-eyes-closed kind of effort. Hope nothing stupid comes out! Take a look at this beauty from BLUSH Lacquers:
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We’ve got a green one! Plus a whoooole lotta shifty goodness, so if it’s moan-y throat noises from here on out, well that sounds about right. Uhhhhhhnnnnnnn.
The theme for November is Fandoms, and Victoria was inspired by Batman’s rival, Bane, as played by Tom Hardy in the movie The Dark Knight Rises. Here’s the pic:
Well, I don’t hate that one bit. I mean, he’s no Leonardo but ummmm … you know … HE’LL DO. There might be drool-y situation in progress, let’s just say.
Speaking of drool-y, you’re about to get suuuuuuper unattractive in about 2.5 seconds. Cuz there’s only so much sexy to go around while lolling your tongue inside a bucket. Now, SCROLL!
BANE OF MY EXISTENCE
DESCRIPTION: A muted multichrome that shifts olive/gold/caramel brown in certain lighting but then shifts brighter green/gold/red-brown in other lighting; it’s magical!
OPACITY: Three thin coats plus glossy top coat
Formula, as usual, was absolute perfection. Victoria’s polishes never ever fail. And the brush, ohhhh THE BRUSH! It’s literally the best brush in the biz, flat and super spread-y, which quite possibly might be the only time ever when it’s perfectly okay to describe something as “super spread-y.” But for real, one stroke down the nail and basically DONE. Perfect for those who don’t have 17 hours a day to do nails like me.
Blah. You and your fancy life.
Anyone still ladylike? NOPE, not even close.
I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: this is how this thing works. The Polish Pickup shop goes live Friday, November 3 (today) at 11am EST. At approximately 11am and 1 second, you’re tossing in a bottle like no big deal. Plus 27 backup bottles, you know, for SAFETY.
In case you’re unable to prioritize properly, the shop will stay open until Monday, November 6 at 11:59pm EST. After that, every last one of these polishes: GONE. Forever. As in POLISH EMERGENCY! so be sure to get your life in order or else it’s a sad state of affairs for you.
Prices for the polishes are all different; BLUSH’s in particular will retail at $13. Shipping is a flat rate of $3 no matter if you buy one polish or if you buy all of them. Plus, if you place an order and then go back and place like 42 more orders, they combine shipping for you. Who’s a fancy lady now? That be YOU, to be clear.
Where to buy: http://www.polishpickup.com
Now only two blogs left to write and zero days to write them. I think I did this wrong. Which surprises no one, pretty sure.
Later, loves!
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They’ve installed a TV in the office this week, soooo .. I’m not sure how any work is gonna get done now, but on the plus side: FULL HOUSE FOR EVERYONE! Seriously, if anything’s gonna bring harmony amongst the co-workers, it’s a lenient pajamas at work policy. But then after that, some Uncle Jesse never hurt. Cuz JOHN STAMOS, that’s why.
More Polish Pickup beauties to share! Take a look at what Taryn with Anchor & Heart Lacquer sent over:
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Welp. There goes all semblance of a classy lady. Cuz one does not look so good whilst the tongue is lolling about outside the body. Drooling, Level EXPERT, let’s just say.
In case you haven’t been reading the blog – although, WHAT?! WHY?! – the theme for November is Fandoms. Taryn was inspired by the mystery shack from the Disney cartoon, Gravity Falls. Here’s a pic:
Another show I’ve never heard of, and it is officially quite clear I don’t lounge as properly on the couch as expected. Cuz certainly I would’ve found this show by now. I mean, if I can stumble across a documentary about a snake that eats people, i.e., nightmare scenario #1, I’m pretty sure a Disney show would be a no-brainer.
MYSTERY HACK
DESCRIPTION: A blackened green with holographic pigment and multichrome shimmer that shifts purple/green/orange
OPACITY: Two easy peasy coats
Mannnn, I just love me some dark nail polish. Makes my sad, white sausages not so sad and sausage-y, and for that fact alone, I need a billion bottles of this one. Rational behavior? NOT TODAY!
But then you add a whooooole lotta shifty business, and now NO ONE is upright. It’s a Noodle Leg Epidemic, each and every time.
More photos for ultra convincing scenarios:
Wallets are officially flying out of purses, everywhere. This one better be in the shopping cart or else we need to have a chat about your brain.
If you need info on what the Polish Pickup is and how it works, click here for FAQs. The shop opens Friday, November 3 at 11am EST and will be available thru all day Monday, November 6. Make sure you don’t miss it! Otherwise who wants to be you on Tuesday, November 7? Damn near nobody, pretty sure.
Mystery Hack will retail for $12, in case y’all like to budget instead of toss polish in the cart all willy nilly like me.
Where to shop: http://www.polishpickup.com
Stay tuned, loves. This ride ain’t over yet!
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Day 17 of not being a super model, and I don’t know whose bright idea this was but it’s some kinda RUDE shenanigans if you ask me. Cuz I somehow managed to eat only one piece of Halloween candy last night before bed and then effectively gained .2 pounds this morning. Why, Universe, whyyyyyy? So here I sit drinking a DIET FREAKING STARBUCKS, and officially I am the saddest of all things sad. And science … well, SCIENCE wins again. Booooo.
Back to the Polish Pickup today! There’s a drool-y EXTRAVAGANZA! happening in about 2.5 seconds and you’re gonna want a front row seat for this one. Take a look at what Karen with Lollipop Posse Lacquer made for us:
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Welp, I don’t hate that one bit. Just the lovliest thing you’ve ever seen, prolly. Cuz you just don’t toss in an explosion of flakie goodness and expect anything normal to happen next. 1000 drool buckets? YEP. That sounds about right.
As previously mentioned, this month’s theme is Fandoms. Karen was inspired by Chihiro/Sen and Haku from the movie, Spirited Away. Check out the inspo pic:
Ummmm, basically NAILED IT doesn’t even begin to describe this scenario. That picture, this polish. TWINS. Karen is a freaking magician, I swear it.
Spirit of the Kohaku River is the embodiment of Haku’s true form in a nail polish bottle. At the end of the film, Chihiro helps Haku remember that, before Yubaba took his name, he was the spirit of the Kohaku River.
— Karen, GENIUS polish maker and all-around good gal, Lollipop Posse Lacquer
Who is Haku? Who is Yubaba? Cuz I’ve never seen this movie, which isn’t all that surprising considering how much Leonardo isn’t in it. Seriously, I should watch more movies, you know, so y’all don’t think I’ve been living in some kind of Gilbert Grape fantasy world. (Although clearly, I HAVE. Duh.)
SPIRIT OF THE KOHAKU RIVER
DESCRIPTION: A blue crelly with a green/blue duochrome shimmer, scattered holographic pigment and a smattering of pink/gold/bronze/green multichrome flakies
OPACITY: Three thin coats but could’ve done a billion
STINKIN DREAMY. I want like 18,000 bottles. That’s not even a typo. Just toss ’em all in the shopping cart, stat. Cuz now is not the time for rational behavior.
Formula was nice; application was smooth and trouble-free. No gloop! Which is basically all we ever want in a polish anyway. Well, that plus a basketful of kitties. But after that, not much else.
Let’s seal this deal!
DONE. In the cart she goes! Weeee!
I typed it all out in my last post, but no one’s in the mood now for a skosh of carpal tunnel so if you’d like more info on the concept of the Polish Pickup, you can read the FAQs here.
The sale opens on Friday, November 3 at 11am EST and will stay open all the way thru Monday, November 6. Cost varies between makers, but Spirit of the Kohaku River will retail for $12. Shipping is a flat $3, which is just one more reason to love everything about this scenario.
Where to buy: http://www.polishpickup.com
This particular polish is capped at an undisclosed amount, although Karen says it’s very generous. However, cuz we don’t take risks when it comes to nail polish, getting in line first seems like the most ideal. What are you doing at 11am and 2.5 seconds? Spending some dadgum money, that’s what. Lollipop up top!
Don’t forget: to get connected with future sales and to participate in the nomination and voting of themes, join the Polish Pickup group on Facebook. Click here!
Okay, that’s it for this one. Four more polishes to go and two days left before the sale. While I figure out the math, you’re setting alarms and putting Post-It Notes everywhere. Cuz that’s how this thing works.
Later, loves!
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Snacks On Rotation 