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Someone needs to come take my internet away. It seems I’ve accidentally stumbled upon the secret to making winter less sad. Unfortunately it comes with about 37 brand new sweaters. YOU GUYS. I can’t stay off Nordstrom, not even for a little bit. It’s like, groceries? electricity? or perhaps a SWEATER instead? Seems like such an easy question, but then there was polka dots and a shoulder cut-out and the most adorable black velvet bow that you EVER did see. And well … I’m not saying there’s a shopping problem, but there’s probably a shopping problem.
However, there’s a distinct possibility I’ve taken this Trophy Wife thing to a whole new level. Cuz kicking my way through packages just to get into my house probably counts as exercise, which might actually make me skinny, soooo basically buying sweaters makes you live longer is what I’m trying to say. THERE. And now you’ve learned something. This blog is amazing.
It’s Holo Hookup time again, boo boos! Who’s ready to bury our bodies in a crap ton of holographic glitter? Another easy question, but this time, an even easier answer. Bathtub full of sparkly bits? BRING IT.
Soooo … we’re doing this one then. I don’t know why anyone thought otherwise.
The theme for January is Time to Wine Down, as in an ode to wine. Y’ALL. This theme is perfect for me. Cuz I can make one wine cooler last an entire three hours, and all that old lady sippin’ has made me somewhat of an expert. Clearly, I am suuuuuper fun at parties. I mean, I just dangled my robe strings in front of the cat’s face for about two hours on a Friday night, so WHO WANTS MY LIFE THEN? Damn near everyone.
The inspiration pic:
Annnd .. Things suddenly got serious, in case you didn’t know.
Alongside our usual lovely ladies of the Holo Hookup, you’ll see our pal Lexi with Painted Polish sitting in the spotlight being so fancy. She’s the featured brand for January, and so now we all want like 27 boxes. We lub us some Lexi in here, y’all! In a most smother-y, stalker-y kind of way.
So, in an attempt to maintain a semblance of a classy lady, guests shall go first. Cuz in about 2.5 seconds, ladylike composure is going out the window anyway. Here’s what Lexi made:
PAINTED POLISH: UNCORK & UNWIND
DESCRIPTION: A concord purple ultra holo with added silver holographic glitters
OPACITY: Two coats plus glossy top coat
Gah! How yummy is this one? It’s every purple lover’s dream. Smooth and fluid like pretty much everything Lexi makes, and I can’t think of any other way to make things better. Maybe a 38th new sweater, but after that, NOTHING.
A little rusty with the nail art:
It’s like I forgot how to do it! Tried to be festive with the confetti and the toasting of the glasses and whatnot, but I dunno guys. Not sure where my mojo went, but it’s certainly not in THIS blog. Used the Lina Can’t Wait For Christmas 01 plate in case recreations are in order. (Bahaha. They’re not. Moving on!)
GLISTEN & GLOW: SIP HAPPENS
DESCRIPTION: An olive green holographic with copper shimmer and light dusting of silver holographic microglitters
OPACITY: Two coats plus glossy top coat
Guys, we got a greeeeeen one! Seriously, I’m about 2 seconds from all sorts of HAND MODEL-Y type scenarios. Time to caress the appliances! A lovely coffee urn, a toaster with like 18 slots in it, or maybe a shiny new fridge full of Totino’s pizza rolls. Your nails will look fabulous lingering on just about anything. Everything else will be attached to a crazy person, though, just so you know.
Some better nail art:
Okay. I kinda like this one. It’s not gonna win awards or anything, but it’s a pretty decent display of effort and worth half a horn toot at least. I paired it with Calming Ones Chakras, one of Jill’s older cremes from last year, and then stamped on some vines using the Uber Chic Beauty Lovely Leaves 2 plate. VINES, y’all. As in wine vines. Suddenly this blog’s gotten very very clever.
CUPCAKE POLISH: HAKUNA MOSCATO
DESCRIPTION: A champagne holographic with gold shimmer and gold holographic microglitters
OPACITY: Two coats plus glossy top coat
SO. MUCH. BLING. I wore this color on both hands – thumbs included, and they hardly ever get any action. This is how polish swatchers gauge something gorgeous. Did you wear it longer than 24 hours? Did you put it on both hands? Were the thumbs involved? Yes, yes, and yes. I’m not even gonna pretend were not a bunch of weirdos.
Some simple nail art:
Used the Lina You’re a Damasque 01 plate for this one, and while it’s no great shakes, I still love it pretty hardcore. Sometimes easy is better than a stamping all the things sort of situation, which is my natural inclination about 97.7468% of the time. Plus doing nail art with your eyes open helps too.
Seriously, one of these days I’m gonna go to bed like a normal person.
DIFFERENT DIMENSION: ROSÉ ALL DAY
DESCRIPTION: A metallic rose gold holographic with added gold flakies
OPACITY: Two coats plus glossy top coat
So dainty. So elegant. So perfect for tea with the Queen, as happens to all of us from time to time. However, that sparkle is INSANE. A legit driving hazard to like the trillionth degree. Potholes, coming straight out of nowhere with this one.
Oooooh, someone’s about to spend some money, I can already tell.
Final nail art:
And I don’t hate it! I used the Lina Totally Negative 01 plate for the big bows and the It Girl 112 plate for the tiny bows, and I’m diggin how it turned out. A bit of mojo reprieve, perhaps? I think YES.
THE ROUND UP
Pre-order for this box starts on December 21 at 9pm EST and will run thru December 28 at 9pm EST. I’m no mathematician or anything, but I’m prettttty sure that means you have 7 days of panic headed your way. DON’T 👏🏼 SLEEP 👏🏼 ON 👏🏼THIS! Cuz who’s missing out on all this holo-y goodness? Certainly not you.
Cost is $40 and shipping will begin around January 12 or so. Which sounds like light years away, not that I’m keeping track or anything. Cuz winter lasts forrrrrrever, at least 192 sweaters’ worth that is. Seriously, someone needs to come save me from me. Except don’t or I will cut you. Lalalalalala!
Where to buy: http://www.theholohookup.com
And now, the linky loos! Connect with The Holo Hookup:
And now we are done! The game plan is set. And 17 alarms, at minimum. Cuz no one does Crazy Nail Lady quite like you.
Later, loves!
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Snacks On Rotation 