Category Archives: Nail Art

Polish ‘M: Not Really Neons (partial) Collection 

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Sleeping til 11am does not get a blog written, I’ll tell ya that much.  Ugh.

Happy Labor Day to all my U.S. pals! Anyone working?  Not working?  Lounging on couches?  Swatching and blogging til your fingers fall off?  ME TOO!  I’ve been so far behind on blogging responsibilities, so today is my day for an attempt to catch up.  I started a new job that’s kinda sorta thrown my 9-year routine into a skosh of chaos, and my brain hasn’t quite figured out what the hell just happened.  I fully expect to stay home and polish nails for a living ANY DAY NOW, but hubby tells me no.  Cuz FOR SOME REASON he says I have to keep the job that pays me money since APPARENTLY nail polish doesn’t buy electricity.  Well, butttttt … have you tried though?  I mean, I’d do all sorts of things for nail polish.  Perhaps there’s a lady at the Electric Company who’d manage to keep our lights switched on in exchange for something with flakies in it.  I mean, what if – WHAT IF! – the barter system is still a negotiable thing but we’ve just been sitting over here paying cash and being normal and whatnot?  How sad is that?  (VERY.)

In the meantime, though, it’s business as usual I guess.  I’ve got some fun polishes to show off for you today!  Michelle with Polish ‘M sent me 6 shades out of 12 from her new Not Really Neons collection, and if you’re into ultra creamy, gloop-free, yummy deliciousness, well then you’re about to get at least 27 levels of drool-y.  Take a look at what you’re buying today:

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

I know!  You want all these, plus extras for SAFETY. Completely normal behavior, if you’re curious.

Before we get into the colors, in order to save time and/or a carpal tunnel-like situation, all of my swatches show three coats.  Some of you could do just two coats, as the coverage was really good.  But because I overanalyze just about everything in my life, I went with three in case of some invisible unevenness that no one else but me could see.  Thus, I may have a medical condition or quite possibly some superpowers, and in which case, this whole Best Blogger Ever thing just took on an entirely new meaning.

Also, a little note from our maker:

Although this collection is marketed as NOT “neons”, they do indeed contain neon pigment. Neon pigment is notorious for fading. PLEASE keep your polishes stored OUT of direct light and sunlight. A closed, dark cabinet is best! Even still, fading will occur with time. That’s the nature of neon pigments. There’s no way to avoid this.

36 combined pigments were used to create the 12 colors. The pigments are broken down by hand, by me. They are then triple strained to get out undissolved pigment chunks. I do not use a mixer; separation CAN happen. It’s nothing a good shake can’t fix!

Y’all set then?  Well then lesss go!

ATOMIC


DESCRIPTION:  A rose pink creme; so girly and sweet


TANGELO


DESCRIPTION:  A bright orange-yellow creme; a surprise favorite.  Most likely cuz it looks like I’ve had my hand in the Cheetos too long, which honestly isn’t even that impossible of a thing.


HARLEQUIN 

DESCRIPTION:  A bright lime green creme; the most neon of the bunch


MYRTLE

DESCRIPTION:  An aqua green creme; probably my favorite.  Cuz where there is GREEN, there is me picking my jaw up off the floor 18,000 times.

ROYAL

DESCRIPTION:  A royal cobalt blue; brilliant and dreamy and all sorts of noodle leg-y


WISTERIA 

DESCRIPTION:  An orchid creme; purple lovers, PAY ATTENTION!


All of these dry to a semi-matte finish, so I added one coat of glossy top coat and then went and passed out real quick.  Cuz sometimes the effort of staying upright is simply too much to bear.  

But do they watermarble?  Whyyyy, yes they do!  Of course, watermarbling has a host of factors and frustrations that go hand in hand with any semi-successful result.  Here is what happened when I turned off my air conditioning, dropped polish in lukewarm bottled water, and then stopping breathing for 20 minutes:

A WATERMARBLE ATTEMPT


Not the worst, right?!  I’m kinda diggin it.  The polishes were super spread-y in the water, which quite possibly might be the only time ever when it’s perfectly okay to describe something as “super spread-y.”  But it’s true; these polishes are watermarble champions, and if you’re kind new at this whole thing, this collection might make your life a whooooole lot easier.  Prettier, for sure, though.

THE ROUND UP 


There’s no way you’re leaving this blog without spending some money.  Every single one of these is bright and cheerful and vibrant and yum, so who’s NOT in the mood for basically all the happinesses poured in a bottle?  CERTAINLY NOT YOU.

Like previously mentioned, this collection has a total of 12 polishes, so be sure to click here to see them all and then throw every last bit of it in the shopping cart.  DO IT.  I mean it.  Each bottle is $9 and that’s practically free; therefore, no excuse.  Plus, if you watermarble, you pretty much have no choice.  This collection is up for presale until September 15 at midnight PST, so setting alarms is your next most logical step.

Where to buy:  http://www.polishm.com/

And now, the linky loos!  Connect with Polish ‘M:

Instagram

Facebook

Fan Group

Off to do more swatching and blogging and being surprisingly useful on my day off.  If things go well, another blog is happening later.  If you don’t see one, you can guarantee someone fell down the Full House rabbit hole.  As happens about 97.8767% of the time.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

The Holo Hookup: September 2017 – Royal Women

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Hubby’s left me for an overnight business trip, and I swear I don’t know how to be a proper human being.  Things accomplished so far?  A Cheetos and wine cooler dinner.  But the swatching and the blogging and the dire responsibilities?  Not so much.  And then the cat meowed for roughly an eternity before I realized I was in charge of food.  Seriously, I feel slightly out of sorts, almost like I’m lounging on someone else’s couch for the night.  OMG, I may never be normal again.  Cue the hives cream!  I’ll take a thousand tubes.  

Good thing there’s nail polish!  It’s time once again for the Holo Hookup box, and I got a whoooole lotta holo to share with you today!  Let’s take a look at what’s coming your way for September.  Prepare to spend some money y’all!  And grab your drool buckets just in case.

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Anything ladylike still happening?  NOT TODAY!

So this month’s theme is Royal Women, and to be honest, I relate to this on roughly 727 levels. Cuz I wear pajamas and hubby brings me snacks on his way back from the kitchen, and if that doesn’t sound like someone’s a DADGUM PRINCESS, well clearly how wrong you must be feeling right now.

But also, I am a Trophy Wife EXTRAORDINAIRE!, which is basically royalty to, like, the trillionth degree, so any further questions are officially moot.

Here’s the inspiration photo:

Picture of me, notwithstanding. Cuz ALSO A QUEEN, that’s why.

In an attempt to write this blog in less than 18 years, I’ll try to control the chatty.  Cuz as always, a new Holo Hookup is cause for emergency, and if I don’t get to the point quick enough, the karate chops are coming.

So this month’s featured brand is Takko Lacquer, and I’m so so excited!  Takko is one of the first brands I tried where every new collection incited an elbow jabby, Black Friday-style frenzy.  It is with Takko where I learned the importance of setting 17 alarms, and where the sheer act of it was the only logical next step.  Seriously, you guys.  Takko is legit, and if you’re buying 27 bottles of it, well, no one is surprised.

Let’s get busy!  Takko goes first!

TAKKO LACQUER: RANI OF JHANSI

DESCRIPTION:  A pink base with light sprinkle of holo and shifty green to pink shimmer

OPACITY:  Two coats plus top coat

Under the mood lights, it gets a bit sexy:

And then a macro to show off that shimmer:

Now, actual nail art:


Effort on display!  I did a gradient using the Takko plus the Glisten & Glow (coming up next!) and added some stamping from the Powder Perfect Floral 1 plate.  Kinda cute, yes?  YES.

GLISTEN & GLOW:  QUEEN ELIZABETH I

DESCRIPTION:  A dark red toned berry holographic with added pops of copper shimmer

OPACITY:  Two coats plus top coat

Vampy shades like this get me all kinds of excited!  And anytime you throw a copper anything in there, well, let’s hope there’s an old fashioned Victorian fainting couch nearby.  Specifically.  Cuz I refuse to get unattractive on a futon.

Under the lamps, the holo gets insane:

And turn the lights down low, and that shimmer gets ya good:

Simple nail art:


How clever am I for doing crowns on a Royal Women-themed polish?  Like, I might’ve thought this one through or something.  Bonus points are coming, I’m quite certain.

Used the Uber Chic Beauty Fairytale 02 plate for this one, in case you’re curious.

CUPCAKE POLISH: CLEOPATRA 

DESCRIPTION:  A turquoise holographic with gold shimmers

OPACITY:  Two coats plus top coat

It’s practically green, guys, so for that fact alone, I lub it lots.  And this bling?  RIDICULOUS.

Under low lighting, there’s a touch of blue peeking through:

And then I went and ruined it:


Bye bye mojo!  I picked the Powder Perfect Egypt 1 plate to use on top of my Cleopatra-themed polish, and then immediately my brain went away somewhere.  Ugh.

DIFFERENT DIMENSION: QUEEN NEFERTITI

DESCRIPTION:  A purple to blue multichrome holographic with added microglitters

OPACITY:  Two coats plus top coat

This one is freaking dreamy!  I mean, the holo is all well and good, but the shift is what brings on the noodle legs. Proof below!

See?!  We’re all a big puddle of goo at this point.

Temporary mojo reprieve:


I used the layered dragon scales image from the Uber Chic Beauty Fairytale 02 plate and I couldn’t be happier.  Even my lining up of the layers is getting a bit better.  Who is this person doing my nails right now, cuz certainly it cannot be me.  Toot toot! 

More nail art using all four polishes together.  Some overachieve-y on display:

Did a smoosh mani and stamped over it using the Lina Let’s Doodle 01 plate.  Who’s in love?  (All of us, to be clear.)  Also, the level of effort?  Superhuman.

And now, a dotticure:

Always a good idea.

THE ROUND UP 


Pre-order for this box starts on August 21 at 9pm EST and will run thru August 28 at 9pm EST. Which means, you have just ONE WEEK to get your life together before the polish goes away forever. Are you properly panicked? Well, you should be.

Cost is $40 and shipping will begin September 12th or so. Click here for shopping! (Well, not right now. The 21st. As in Monday. We’ve been over this already.)

And now, some linky loos:

Holo Hookup Instagram

Holo Hookup Facebook Fan Group

Lastly, set some alarms and put Post-Its on all your surfaces.  Cuz who’s missing out on this incredible box?  CERTAINLY NOT YOU.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Cruisin’ Into Polish Con: Glisten & Glow, Cupcake Polish, Different Dimension 

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If there was ever a time to get your life together, now would be it.  Cuz another POLISH EMERGENCY! is headed our way and we need to get prepared.  I mean, imagine a surprise Leonardo sighting is happening and you don’t have your wedding dress in the car. Do you see? DO YOU SEE?!?!  So you miss out on this nail polish, and that’s practically the same thing. 

Well, almost. Cuz LEONARDO, that’s why.  You’ve read this blog before.  (Right?  RIGHT.)

But back to the emergency, i.e., point of this dadgum blog. The next Polish Convention event will be taking place in Chicago on September 23, and every week leading up to the big day, new exclusive Road to Polish Con polishes are being released.  Week 5 starts tomorrow, guys, and now you need to FOCUS.  A legit, no joke BEST DAY EVER just landed in your lap like no big deal.

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Gah!  Excuse me while I toss my ladylike composure out the window real quick.

This is the Cruisin’ Into Polish Con trio from three of our most favorite brands:  Glisten & Glow, Cupcake Polish, and Different Dimension.  It’s like a bonus Holo Hookup box, guys!  Who just peed a little?  I know, ME TOO!

Celebrating the 100th year of Chicago’s Navy Pier, these polishes are inspired by three dinner and sightseeing boats plus fireworks, dancing, music, culture, food, cocktails and beautiful sunsets.  Basically, all your holographic polish dreams come true, So get off your no-buys ladies; this is COMPLETE JUSTIFICATION to the trillionth degree.

GLISTEN & GLOW:  SPIRIT OF CHICAGO

DESCRIPTION:  An indigo purple holographic with violet and blue shimmers and silver microflakies

OPACITY:  Two coats

And all you purple lovers just died a little bit.  For real, you did.

Under the mood lights:

And a macro for funsies:

Some kinda fun nail art:

Although, don’t ask why I felt orange stamping was the way to go with this one.  Sometimes when I nail art, my brain just goes away somewhere.  However, AN ATTEMPT WAS MADE, and that’s worth half a horn toot at least.

Used the Lina Make Your Mark 05 plate if you’re curious.

CUPCAKE POLISH:  MYSTIC BLUE

DESCRIPTION:  An azure blue super linear holographic with heavy green to blue shifting shimmers

OPACITY:  Two coats

More mood lighting to show off the color.  For extra drool-y-ness, clearly:

Now a close up of those goodies.  A bonafide ocean of lovely:

Some simple stamping:

This one looked way better in my head.  There was this cool cutout image on the Powder Perfect 1980s 1 plate, and I instantly thought of a color block design.  But the curves in my nails made the stamping turn out a bit wonky, and I don’t know about you, but I could use 18,000 tubes of hives cream right about now.  Oh, OCD, my evil friend.

DIFFERENT DIMENSION:  ODYSSEY II

DESCRIPTION:  A bright magenta pink holographic with hints of copper shimmer

OPACITY:  Two coats

Seriously, if y’all could just wheel me over one of those old fashioned fainting couches, that’d be great.

Do you hear angels?  I hear angels.

Not hideous, but …

… no award, either.  If anyone has some leftover mojo, I could use a billion of it.

Stamped with the Lina Make Your Mark 05 plate again in case recreations are in order.  (They’re not.  Moving on!)

Then suddenly, a last minute mojo reprieve:

A good old fashioned dotticure!  I used all three polishes for this, and I really love how it turned out.  I made those dots by hand y’all, cuz a burst of energy just came out of nowhere.

So then I did this real quick:

Well, not real quick.  More like 18 years, but still. Gradients don’t just happen like magic, surprisingly.  Although, if this gets me a lifetime supply of bonus points, that sounds about right.  Cuz OVERACHIEVE-Y doesn’t even begin to describe this scenario.

Used the Lina Make Your Mark 05 plate one last time, and then kudos and accolades are coming next, I’m sure of it.

THE ROUND UP

The Cruisin’ Into Polish Con trio will be available starting tomorrow, July 30 at 8am EST and will run until Saturday, August 5 at 8pm EST.  In case you don’t math well, that’s seven short days to get your priorities in order.  Holo up top, people!  Then dishes and groceries, if there’s time.

Sold individually, each bottle will retail for $10.  Only available on the Polish Convention website, so click here for shopping!  Then keep a lookout every Sunday for new polishes to hoard.  Cuz no one does CRAZY NAIL LADY quite like you.

Come back tomorrow for more blog.  This train keeps moving!

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Different Dimension: 90s Trio

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You know you’ve got a shopping problem when the mailman doesn’t even look at the addresses on boxes anymore and just brings all of them to you.  I opened up a stuffed mailbox after work today, and OMG, the effort in there!  Seriously y’all, it’s Friday and about 2.5 seconds away from pajamas; digging through the Tetris game of packages and wandering around the neighborhood is not my idea of couch lounging.  Ugh.

But I do it anyway cuz karma is a real life thing.  I mean, a stock pile of bonus points will come in handy for me one day, surely.   Cuz the second I don’t get a package delivered to me AS SCHEDULED and promised and contracted by blood, there’s a meltdown plus a whole tube of hives creme that absolutely no one wants to watch.  Can I try to be even a little bit sexy?  NO. I. CAN. NOT.

Let’s look at pretty things!  I have an awesome set of neons for the summer that are just begging for some nail art!  Missi with Different Dimension sent me her new 90s Trio, and for real you guys:  flashbacks of Hammer pants and triangle-shaped hair is happening, but not necessarily in a good way.  After the Record in the Hair Incident of 1987, things went slightly downhill, let’s just say.

Oh, but the neons!  The neons are okay.

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My eyes, my eyes!  There’s no way you’re walking away now.  Unless you don’t like happiness.  Or maybe you’re a robot.  I dunno.

These neons are based on the CMYK color scale, which is fancy talk for something office-y, and in which case, the grabby fingers are lurking.  DREAM SCENARIO, is what I mean.  Gimme. 

BOMB

DESCRIPTION:  A neon blue creme

OPACITY:  Two coats

And then I did some super cute nail art:


I figured I’d go for a bit of geometric 80s/90s style arting, so I used the new Powder Perfect 1980s 1 plate for this one.  Turns out, I had a brief moment of mojo, cuz I just loooooooove how it looks!  I mean, it’s nothing genius, but I’ll take my half a horn toot where I can get it.

OMG

DESCRIPTION:  A neon pink creme

OPACITY:  Two coats

And look:  they stamp!


You know, I don’t hate it and that’s good enough for me!  I stamped with Bomb and the Powder Perfect 1980s 1 plate to make the blue triangles and stamped with OMG and the Lina Make Your Mark 05 plate to make the pink splatter.  Who’s doing recreations?  Anyone? Anyone?  

NEXXXXXT.

DOPE

DESCRIPTION:  A neon highlighter yellow cream

OPACITY:  Three coats, cuz I suck sometimes.  The formula on this one was a little thicker than the other two, so I had to finesse it a bit.  And because I have ZERO finesse (as evident in pretty much this entire blog), I forget how to do nails sometimes.  All the time.  Blah.  Whatever.

And then this hideous thing happened.  Please tell me what this is:


Cuz no one freaking knows.  Seriously, someone just needs to take my stamping plates away.

Except don’t, cuz I will cut you.

Used the Powder Perfect 1980s plate again if you’re curious!

A SCIENCE EXPERIMENT

I used all three colors in an attempt at a watermarble, and I swear if I don’t officially get a lifetime supply of bonus points for this one, something is var var wrong with this world.  

THE ROUND UP 


This trio releases Saturday, July 29 at 9am EST – which is probably right now by the time you read this as I prefer to blog in the middle of the dadgum night cuz going to bed like a normal person is something for other people.

Was that run-on sentence?  Prolly.

Only available as a trio, the cost is $25 and includes shipping within the US.  HOWEVER, they are limited edition and will not be restocked, so if you feel like having a quick little panic attack, now would be a good time.  Click here for shopping!

Annnnnd THEN!  The linky loos.  Connect with Different Dimension:

Instagram

Facebook

Fan Group

Thanks to everyone who is continuing to read this speed train we’re riding on lately.  I can’t believe how badly I got behind, even though (for the most part), things are getting posted relatively on time.  I’ll be back to my storytelling nonsense soon.  Who’s excited?  (You, to be clear.)

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Painted Polish: At Sea – Volume III Collection 

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I am literally sitting here blogging with one eye sleeping.  I’m not even sure what’s happening.  Might be blogging, might be dreaming.  For real, guys, I don’t even know.  Whatever the case may be, it’s after midnight so HEY! Let’s start a blog! cuz that makes a wholllllllle lotta sense right about now.  Ugh.  Where is Leonardo when you need him?  (Seriously, though, WHERE IS HE?)

I told hubby I’d stop going to bed at 2am on a work night, so clearly that’s going well.  I’m not good at goals, let’s just say.  I’m always making an attempt, though, so I get half a horn toot at least.  And a Starbucks, you know, if y’all not busy.

Let’s talk polish!  I have the gorgeous Painted Polish At Sea: Volume III Collection to share with you today, a 6-piece set of glitters and holos and one coat cremes.  And in case you haven’t drooled enough today, well, Lexi’s got you covered.  Welcome to Speed Blog #3, plus caffeine, plus jazz hands.  Here we go!

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I die, I die!  You’re buying all these, I’ve already decided.  I mean, you were just sitting around in sweatpants doing nothing, anyway.

Okay, no more chatty or else I’ll be writing this thing for nigh on eternity.  Here’s the rundown of colors, then I’ll meet you at the bottom!


Stamped in Seafoam

DESCRIPTION:  A seafoam blue/green creme; doubles as a stamping polish

OPACITY:  A one coater!

Some nail art:

I don’t love it, but I don’t hate it. I mean, no one is giving me a trophy for this one, pretty sure. Even a participation ribbon might need committee approval first.

Used the Lina Born to Sail 02 plate in case you’re curious.  (You’re not.  NEXXXXXT!)

Yo-Ho-Holo

DESCRIPTION:  A teal ultra holo with added silver holographic glitters for extra sparkle

OPACITY:  Two coats 

Break for holo!  An EXTRAVAGANZA! is underway:

And now wallets are officially flying out of purses everywhere.

Something cute:

I mean, if I didn’t do a mermaid mani in here at some point, does the Blogger Licence get revoked, or … ?

Used the Lina Born to Sail 02 plate again in case recreations are in order.  (Maybe this time?)

Kissin’ Kelp

DESCRIPTION:  A deep teal scattered holo with gold shimmer and gold holographic glitters

OPACITY:  Two coats

And now we have GREEEEEEEEN.  Excuse me while my tongue lolls about outside my body.

More not-hideous nail art:

What’s with this sudden burst of mojo?  I’m not even sure this is the right blog we’re in.

Used the Uber Chic Beauty Vacation Mode plate for this one, and I lub it lots.

Stamped in Salmon

DESCRIPTION:  A bright salmon creme; doubles as a stamping polish

OPACITY:  One to two coater; I did two for safety

Seriously, who am I:

Certainly, the mojo has one foot out the door by now?  Cuz I stinkin’ adore this one.

Back to the Lina Born to Sail 02 again, cuz when I love something, I do it in the most smother-y, stalker-y way possible.  

Jolly My Roger

DESCRIPTION:  A nude/light bronze ultra holo with added silver holo for extra sparkle

OPACITY:  Two coats

Legit no joke insane display of holo:

My eyes, my eyes!  How you’re still upright at this point defies all the logic.

More good nail art:

Please tell me Leonardo is on his way.  Cuz after four good nail arts, I’m pretty sure I win a prize.

Used the Uber Chic Beauty Vacation Mode on this one.  Love the contrast between the black and the holo.  You too?  (YES.)

Nauti Nudist

DESCRIPTION:  A sandy nude holographic microglitter

OPACITY:  Two coats; pretty dang smooth for an ultra packed glitter; no gloop!

Final nail art:

The stamping was a bit more subtle than expected, but I think it turned out pretty cute anyway.  It’s a coral image in case you can’t tell.  It’s also my 5th good nail art in a row, so I’m feeling a bit overachieve-y at the moment.  Toot toot!

Used the Lina Born to Sail 02 plate one more time, cuz I’m properly obsessed.

The round up:

This collection is sooooo good, guys!  Especially those two holos.  I’m not even gonna pretend anything ladylike is happening over here, cuz I assure you, THERE IS NOT.  You need these in your life.  Plus 27 backup bottles, you know, in case of accidental painting of all the surfaces.  As happens from time to time.

The deets:

Full set retails for $58

If you have to do single bottles, the two cremes/stamping polishes and Nauti Nudist are $10; the rest are $12

Click here for shopping!  And then sit back and revel in your good decisioning.

Now, for the linky loos!  Connect with Painted Polish:

Instagram

Facebook

Fan Group

Thank you all so much for stopping by as always.  I have about 10 days left of blogging chaos, then hopefully I can get back to annoying the shit out of everyone.  YOU CAN’   T WA . ..JIT

Gotta go!  The cat just laid next to me and is taking a bath so now I have to kiss him on the mouth real quick.  I’m sure I had a point earlier, but my brain has officially gone away somewhere.  First mojo, now this.  Seriously, we still in the right blog?

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Top Shelf Lacquer: Alcohol Musings Collection 

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The onslaught of boring blogs is coming, guys. I have wasted so much time in the past few days, I am officially behind schedule to the trillionth degree.  It seems all the lounging on couches and accidental naps before bedtime have not proven to be as productive as one would expect. Cuz apparently things don’t just happen all by themselves.  Boooooo.  Science wins again. 

Lately it’s been Lazy, Level EXPERT plus a bunch of bonus rounds on top.  So much robe has been happening, if hubby’s reconsidering that for better, for worse thing he swore he’d do, no one’s surprised.  He tried to lure me outside to go make an effort of some sort, and I’m like, is Leonardo out there handing me a Starbucks, then?  Cuz that’s the only outside type of escapade I’m willing to commit to.  Until then, it’s me + couch + air conditioning = not getting skinny any time soon.  Besides, last time I attempted effort, I got carpet burn in my butt crack, and not even for a very good reason.  Pilates is the devil, let’s just say.

But now the situation has reached a dire state.  The blogs have piled up, and if I don’t figure out a way to write them with a skosh less Tolstoy, we’re all gonna be sitting in here for the next 18 years.  I don’t know what y’all got planned later, but I’m pretty sure living a much more interesting life than me is probably at the top of the list.  Cuz not everyone has time to polish nails for nigh on eternity.  Although why don’t you?! is the actual question. 

So let’s get into it, then!  I have the new Alcohol Musings collection from Top Shelf Lacquer to show you today, a set of six gorgeous creme shimmers with a twist.  And good news:  you’re buying all of them.  Weeeee!  Take a look:

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Told ya.  Wallets are flying out of purses everywhere.  A prelude to the Noodle Leg Epidemic happening next.

Okay, FOCUS.  Serious business up ahead.  Enjoy the pictures sans commentary; I’ll just be over here having an attack of the hives.  COMPLETELY NORMAL BEHAVIOR, if you’re curious.  Here’s the rundown of colors:

Tequila Made Me Do It:

DESCRIPTION:  A turquoise creme with turquoise shimmer with a delicate pink shift and touch of scattered holo

It’s Not Good to Keep Things Bottled Up:

DESCRIPTION:  A rose pink creme with a pink to blue shifting shimmer and touch of scattered holo

I am GIN-vincible:

DESCRIPTION:  A medium blue creme with a turquoise to purple shifting shimmer

You Can’t Sip With Us!:

DESCRIPTION:  A bright orange creme with greenish gold shimmer with subtle flash of pink in just the right lighting

Irish I Had a Beer!:

DESCRIPTION:  A mint green with a soft shift to pink and peach with a touch of scattered holo

An extra macro so you can really see that shift:

Life is BREWtiful!:

DESCRIPTION:  A lilac creme with red shimmer that has a subtle shift to copper and a touch of scattered holo

Clearly, words were not necessary.  All stunning, all glorious, all super pass-out-y.  If you haven’t drooled in at least a thousand buckets by this point, I am var var sad about your brain.

And then I did A THING:

A watermarble thing!  And it turned out perfectly.  Did you just scroll up to see whose blog you were reading?  ME TOO!  I swear, I can only tell I am me by the sheer amount of robe that is happening at the moment.

That shimmer:

You done died.  You did.

The round up:

The formula on these was luxuriously silky and exquisite.  It was a legit Polish Mountain moment, except I had 7,397 other nail polishes staring back at me.  Ugh, responsibilities.

I did three coats on all except Irish I Had a Beer, which got two.  They were an absolute pleasure to apply, which is a full on NERD ALERT! at minimum, but also, I’M SERIOUS.  I could’ve sat there for days, and probably would have if hubby didn’t set a bag of Doritos in the other room.

Okay guys, the deets:

Set of six polishes:  $60 for full size or $45 for 8ml polish shots

Single bottles:  $11 for full size or $8 for 8ml polish shots

Everything is available now, so click here for shopping!  It’s the most logical next step.

And now, the linky loos.  Connect with Top Shelf Lacquer:

Instagram

Facebook

Fan Group

Thanks for stopping by, everyone!  I know it wasn’t my normal chatty style, but I hope you liked it anyway.  I mean, there was pretty polish in here, and that’s the whole point of this blog anyway.  The fact we talk about how often I am pants-less is just a bonus.  However, as soon as I get caught up, I’ll be back to normal and most likely annoying the shit out of everyone.  YOU CAN’T WAIT!

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

The Holo Hookup: August 2017 – Enchanted Forest

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Pressure’s on, guys.  I’ve been staring at an empty screen for the past 17 years, and now a deadline is officially lurking.  I swear, if the distractions don’t stop, stupid things are gonna come out just so I can post a blog on time.  I’ve shut myself in this bedroom so I can concentrate, but hubby just burst in dragging a string behind him with a cat attached to the end of it.  And then he tossed me a bag of potato chips and so I lost consciousness there for a second.  Now after a rousing bout of cardio trying to get a fly out of the room, I realize I’ve been writing this same paragraph for the last four hours, and OMG I need the hives cream, stat.  Blogging is hard, you guys.  SO. HARD.

Okay, now FOCUS.  Pretty things are coming.  My second round of reviewing for the Holo Hookup box is here, and I’m feeling quite overachieve-y at the moment.  They’ve kept me on, guys; I wooed ’em good!  Apparently this blog full of nonsense is appreciated by at least one person, and trust me, that is EVERYTHING.  Cuz I don’t give carpal tunnel to myself for funsies, I’m at least 23% sure of it.

Anyway, let me show you what’s coming up for August. An insane amount of holo headed your way in 3 … 2 … 1 …

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Still upright?  Just checking.

So this month’s theme is Enchanted Forest, and just by the name alone, y’all know you want approximately 18,000 boxes.  Cuz there’s magical things in an Enchanted Forest:  fairies and unicorns and Prince Charmings mid-rescue.  Old wizards with long beards, probably full of glitter and cute baby field mice wearing little britches. Possibly also some Dorito crumbs.  And a couple of talking trees with branches that will push people off their horses, you know, to keep things interesting.

Here’s the inspiration photo:

Yep, magical, at minimum.

Trying to not get too chatty in here, as I need to get this posted sometime before 2037.  A polish emergency is among us and for some reason, the blog don’t write itself.  So let’s get into the goodies, yes?  YES.

This month’s featured brand is the amazing Lindsey with Tonic Polish, which means the Holo Hookup is about to break some kinda sales record, I’m quite certain.  If y’all know even a smidge of the magic that is Tonic Polish, it’s about to get all sorts of elbow jabby in here real quick.  A bonafide frenzy, is what I mean.

But since we need to maintain a semblance of a classy lady, guests shall go first.  Cuz in about 2.5 seconds, ladylike composure is going out the window anyway.  Here is what Lindsey made for us.  Presenting, Dryad’s Grove:

DESCRIPTION:  A mysterious forest green holographic with an inner maroon to gold shifting shimmer and tiny ultra holo microglitter sparks

COATS:  Three just to deepen color, but two was just fine

Well, lordt.  Green just happened, and already the jaws are dropping.  I mean, just look at it.  LOOK. AT. IT.  Seriously, if you came here for some peace and quiet and a rational behavior EXTRAVAGANZA!, ohhhhh how WRONG you must be feeling right now.  

Under the lamps:

Now macros:

Holo holo everywhere, and in the cart she goes!  Weeeee!

Some nail art I did:

Pretty basic stamping using the Uber Chic Beauty Vacation Mode plate.  I don’t hate it, but the kudos and accolades are taking their damn sweet time.  People, it gets worse.  We’ve been here before.

Next up is the offering from Glisten & Glow – here’s Fairy’s Frost:

DESCRIPTION:  A silver linear holographic with golden green shimmer, like twinkling lights reflecting off fairy wings

COATS:  Two, smooth and blingy

GAH!  What are words?  What is breathing?  Excuse me while I attempt to get control of my brain.

Under the lamps:

It’s holo-y to the trillionth degree.  Cue the drool buckets!

An accidental painting of all the surfaces is next, and no one is surprised.

Not hideous nail art:

Some more easy stamping using the What’s Up Nails B018 plate.  I do love the contrast between the black and the bling, though, so I’ll take half a horn toot, you know, if y’all not busy.

Now here’s Field of Flowers from Cupcake Polish:

DESCRIPTION:  A lavender super holographic with blue shimmer

COATS:  Three, but two was fine; just deeping the color, don’t mind me!

And just like that, I am an 8-year-old child in a room full of office supplies.  Cuz DREAM SCENARIO, is what I mean.  If Leonardo walked in handing me a Starbucks, well, that sounds about right.

Under the lamps:

More macros to aid the convincing:

FIIIIINE.  We’ll take a billion bottles.  Cuz now is not the time to act normal.

Finally, a skosh of mojo:

Very simple stamping using the Uber Chic Beauty 16-03 plate, but I love this image so much.  Quick and effortless, but so much pretty.  And, well, you had me at effortless.

Lastly, here’s Enchant-Mint from Different Dimension:

DESCRIPTION:  A misty light mint holographic with added shimmers and holographic microglitters

COATS:  Again with three, but two was fine

Well, let’s end this thing on an exclamation point, then.  How glorious is this one?  (Very.)  It’s on the blue side of mint, super delicate, elegant and Queen of England-approved.  Who’s about to hold a bunch of tiny little teacups?  (You, to be clear.  Cuz sometimes fancy lady happens whether you like it or not.)

More shots in case you’re on the fence:

Cuz the fence is no place for a lady.

And right on cue, it’s bye bye mojo:

Meh.  It’s not the worst, but the stamping was much more subtle than I expected.  Used the new Lina Let’s Doodle 01 plate, though, which has lots of cool images on it.  Sadly, though, I do nail art with my eyes closed.  Bah.

And now, some bonus points.  Nail art using all four polishes!

A striping tape EXTRAVAGANZA! And I stinkin’ love it.  Figures.  It took all of 30 seconds and barely any brain.

And then a random burst of energy just came out of nowhere:


I dry brushed, guys!  And made a THING.  Like, actual kudos and accolades might come this time.  FINALLY.  Toot toot!

The round up:

Pre-order for this box starts on July 21 at 9pm EST and will run thru July 28 at 9pm EST.  Which means, you have just ONE WEEK to get your life together before the polish goes away forever.  Are you properly panicked?  Well, you should be.

Cost is $40 and shipping will begin August 12th or so.  Click here for shopping! (Well, not right now.  The 21st.  As in Friday.  We’ve been over this already.)

And now, some linky loos:

Holo Hookup Instagram

Holo Hookup Facebook Fan Group

And now we are done!  The game plan is set.  And 17 alarms, at minimum.  Cuz no one does Crazy Nail Lady quite like you.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Nail Hoot + Top Shelf Lacquer Collaboration Duo

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When your husband asks you what your plans are for his birthday and you answer “painting my nails,” just be aware the reaction you get isn’t quite as exciting as you’d expect.

So now I’m forced to do stuff outside the house this weekend, which requires slightly less pajamas than originally planned. Ugh. I suppose if there’s any one thing worth putting pants on for 72 hours, it’d be him.  He’s a good guy. He pulls 18,000 nail polish packages out of the mailbox and only gives a skosh of a side eye.

Until then, though, it’s business as usual. Swatching and blogging and Full House marathons. Eating Funyuns, locked alone in a room, and wondering why skinny is taking so damn long. You know, if I wasn’t such a Trophy Wife, we’d all be worried. 

Here’s something pretty:

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This duo is a collaboration between Brandie with Nail Hoot and Amy with Top Shelf Lacquer, which started out as a joke.  Brandie had a naming contest in her Facebook group, and Amy suggested the name “Hoot This Way.”  For every contest after that, Amy continued to submit “Hoot This Way” as her entry.  Finally, Brandie agreed to the name as long as she could name one of Amy’s polishes, and VOILA! a duo is born.  And good news, guys:  you’re buying it.  Weeeeee!

First half of the duo is from Nail Hoot. Here is – FINALLY, in all its glory – Hoot This Way:

Worth the wait.  Yes?  YES.

DESCRIPTION: A rose gold holographic with strong gold flash

COATS:  Two, but good coverage in one

If you’re a fan of neutrals, you’re gonna love this one.  It’s the perfect polish for elegant, hand model-y, tiny cappucino cup holding scenarios.  As we all do from time to time.

I did some nail art:

I might’ve accidentally got my birds confused on this one, cuz the longer I look at my ring finger, the more I am convinced that’s not a flamingo.  Either that, or there’s some serious leg envy happening with the other flamingos.  Ring Finger Flamingo is my baby sister who is lovely and lithe; Other Finger Flamingo is me who has a problem with potato chips.  Ugh.

Used the Lina 4 Seasons – Summer 02 plate in case you’re curious.  

The last half of the duo is from Top Shelf Lacquer. Here is Drunk & Disorderly:

Ooooh!  There’s an accidental painting of all the surfaces lurking, I just know it.

DESCRIPTION: A medium blue crelly with scattered holo, a subtle purple shift and color-shifting chameleon flakies

COATS:  Two, nice and smooth

But back to those flakies.  Are they not divine?!  Seriously, if you came here for the ladylike composure, well now is not the time for a flakie display.  Cuz the amount of drool buckets happening over here is quite alarming to say the least.  OMG, am I still married?  I don’t even know.

Some mediocre mojo:

Do not ask why I did sharks.  Sometimes when I nail art, my brain just goes away somewhere.  I mean, it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever done, but an award is definitely not coming this time.  Although I’ll take a Starbucks anyway, you know, if y’all not busy.

Used the Lina 4 Seasons – Summer 02 plate again in case recreations are in order.  (They’re not.)  NEXT.

The round up:

This precious little duo releases this Friday, July 14 so make sure you set approximately 17 alarms cuz rational behavior is for other people.  There are 25 sets ready to go for immediate shipping, and POLISH EMERGENCY doesn’t even begin to describe this scenario. However, in case your priorities aren’t properly categorized, alphabetized and assorted by size and color then pre-orders will be taken until August 15.  Targeted ship date on those is August 30, otherwise known as FREAKING LIGHT YEARS AWAY.

In other words, you better snag those first 25.  DO IT.  I mean it.

Price for the duo is $18 and they will ship internationally, so it’s an equal opportunity good day for everyone!  Click here for shopping,

Some linky loos:

Nail Hoot – InstagramFacebookFacebook Fan Group

Top Shelf Lacquer – InstagramFacebookFacebook Fan Group

And while you’re in a clicking mood, follow me on Instagram.  Cuz at this point, it’s just the right thing to do.

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Glam Polish: Made in Manehattan Collection 

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Current status:  on the couch after dinner, pants unbuttoned, fat hanging out.  Hubby treated me to a really nice meal after work, and all was going well.  Then the gourmet french fries came out WITH MAYONNAISE DIPPING SAUCE! and basically if someone had rolled a wheelie cart over and offered me some walking assistance, I would have damn well taken it.   Seriously, if it’s my ladylike composure that impresses you most, DO NOT EVER put potatoes-anything on the table.  Just don’t do it.  It causes divorce, if I’m not mistaken.  Ugh.

And now I’m just sitting here being the most sexy wife that ever lived.  At least I’m not drooling though.  I mean, not yet anyway.

Cuz there’s polish coming.  And it’s Glam Polish, which has a 97.84854% chance of drool buckets, at minimum.  So let’s get unattractive together shall we, cuz that’s what best friends do.  Here’s the new Made in Manehattan collection:

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Moany-y throat noises are about to come out.  Gah!  Words are proving to be var var hard right now.

The Made in Manehattan collection is a set of six cute shimmery shades inspired by the show, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.  And now we’re all about to spend some money cuz MY LITTLE PONY?!  It’s all my childhood dreams come true!  Toss in a room full of office supplies, and DREAM SCENARIO sounds about right.

Clearly, I’ve been a little weirdo for a very long time.

I’m gonna keep it somewhat short and sweet, as the five pastels are all the same in terms of formula and application.  I do have some nail art mixed in, though, so don’t scroll too fast. And then there’s a most stunning glitter topper at the end.  OMG, who’s getting pee-your-pants excited?  EVERY DADGUM ONE OF US, that’s who.

First up is Equestria Games – a light pastel lemon with subtle pink shimmer:

Close up of the goodies:

And then I added that glitter topper I was telling you about.  I can’t even stand how gorgoeus this is.  For real, I could look at it for days if there still wasn’t about 7,387 other blogs to write.

Kinda cute nail art:

Y’all know I have a love/hate relationship with my arting.  This one gets half a horn toot.  Used the new Uber Chic Beauty Unicorn Love plate if you’re curious.

Next is The Mane Attraction – a light pastel lavender with subtle pink shimmer:

Mood lighting.  Perfect for tongue lolling in secrecy.  But also makes for a pretty exquisite macro:

Still decent nail art:

A miracle might be happening!  That’s two not very hideous nail arts in a row!  Is there an award coming next?  I think YES.

Used the What’s Up Nails B002 plate for this one.

Now here’s Ponyville Confidential – a light pastel peach with subtle peach shimmer:

Some simple stamping:

I felt like this color needed something tropical.  I think it turned out okay.  I mean, it’s better than that meth owl I accidentally made, and for that, we are all grateful.  Used the new Uber Chic Beauty Vacation Mode plate here, which has some super cute images on it.  I recommend!

Here is No Second Prances – a light pastel blue with subtle pink shimmer:

Scroll past this one:


Bye bye mojo!  Meh.  Used the Uber Chic Beauty Unicorn Love plate again, and kinda failed a little bit.  Any kudos and accolades you wanna toss out for this one?  No?  Okay.  NEXXXXXXT.

This is Hearts and Hooves – a light pastel pink with subtle pink shimmer:

A slight reprieve:

The design turned out slightly more subtle than expected, but I didn’t throw any stamping plates across the room, so look who’s acting mature all of a sudden.

(Me, to be clear.  I KNOW, we’re all surprised.)

Used the What’s Up Nails B018 plate for this one.

So about that glitter topper.  Here’s The Crystal Empire – full of shifty iridescence with strong pink shimmer in a clear base:

I did three coats on naked nails, and it covers pretty good, although it looks way more awesome over a white base.  Of which I have none to show you because I am a PROFESSIONAL BLOGGER EXTRAORDINAIRE.

I don’t plan things very well, clearly.  But if you’ll scroll back up, all the macros with the topper on top – freaking MAGICAL. In one effortless coat, and well, you had me at effortless.

And then I officially ruined this blog:

Seriously, stamping with your eyes closed is never a good thing.  This is 27 levels of hideous at the minimum.  I kinda feel like just deleting it real quick, but once the pajamas go on, not much else happens after that.  In other words, a nap is coming soon.

Used the Uber Chic Beauty Garden Love plate in case recreations are in order. Bahahahahahahaha.

Ugh.

The round up:

As mentioned earlier, the formula on all the pastels are exactly the same.  I did three coats on each one, although two coats was really close to opaque for me.  Application was very smooth and easy, and the layers leveled out perfectly.  No streaks, no gloop, no cuss words, no crying.  I don’t know how Glam Polish does it every time, but finding a bad one is nigh on impossible.

The Made in Manehattan collection released earlier today, so head over to the Glam Polish store and toss a bunch of pretties in the cart.  I mean, you were just hanging around in your sweatpants doing nothing anyway.  Deets:

Single bottles are $12

Full collection is $72 but if you purchase by Tuesday, July 4 at 2pm EST, you’ll snag it for $64.80.  So get on it, boo boos!  Cuz you’re a Crazy Nail Lady, that’s why.  Click here for shopping!

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Night Owl Lacquer: Beach Life Collection + Little Owlet Duo

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Sure wish hubby would go be stupid so I’ll have something to write about in this blog soon.  I mean, it’s been at least two years since he tripped over the door and fell in the house, so I’m pretty sure we’re due for a good one.  But nothing that involves the hands, though, cuz I’ll be needing sandwiches at some point.

So maybe he’ll wake up to a face full of cat butthole.  Or perhaps a bird will poop on his eye while he’s minding his own business, and then spend the next 37 years self-diagnosing himself on the internet. Cuz that happened to me, and I’m a trillion percent certain it’s wayyyy funnier when I’m not involved. 

Until then, however, this blog may have an extraordinary amount of BLANK SCREEN happening, which I assume makes for a very boring story. Unless you have no eyes. I dunno. 

Let’s talk polish!  I received two new collections from Lindsay with Night Owl Lacquer – a summery quad and a collaboration duo – and I’m super excited to show you.  Are you ready for a whoooooooole lotta pretty? Well then lessss go!

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THIS.  Lordt. We’re already drool-y. 

Okay, so here is the Beach Life Collection, four of the prettiest neon holographic flakie glittery goodnesses that ever lived.  GUYS. They’re GLORIOUS!  And you want them, oh yes you do. 

First up is Life is Good Today:

This one has a neon orange base with gold galaxy holo microglitter, red/gold microflakies and different sized lime/gold and orange/green iridescent color shifting glitters.

Also possibly Cheeto cheese, and in which case, WE LUB IT MORE. 

My eyes my eyes!  All that in two magical coats.

Macro, a prelude to the 27 bottles you’re buying:

Then I did some nail art:

And I don’t hate it! It’s not gonna win a prize or anything, but we’ll take this brief moment of mojo while we can.  Also, used the new Uber Chic Beauty 18-02 plate for this one.

Next up is Where the Ocean Meets the Sky:

This one has a bright blue base with iridescent sparks, neon blue microflakies and silver holo shreds. I just love it!  The color is divine.  For real, I’m roughly 2.5 seconds away from sticking my fingers in people’s faces. Although surprisingly, strangers don’t wanna look at mah nails! quite like you’d expect.  Seriously though, they should LOOK AT THEM.  I mean it.

If you’re thinking HAND MODEL!, you are correct.

An insane display of flakie:

You done died. You did. 

Some mediocre nail art:

Meh.  I don’t dislike it, but I sadly covered up too much of the blue. In my dreams, though, this looks freaking FABULOUS.  Used the Lina Feeling Shapely 09 plate if you’re curious.  (Are you though? Prolly not this time.) 

Now here’s Toes in the Sand:

This one has a light sandy nude base packed full of gold shift, gold microflakies and clear galaxy holo microglitter. It’s such a precious, dainty little shade. Practically begs for a tiny cappuccino. Pinkies up, y’all!  Cuz we are a bunch of classy ladies whether we like it or not. 

Now, imagine this polish on someone whose fingers are slightly less sausage-y …

I know, right?! In the basket she goes!

That shimmer! So swoon-y. 

Scroll past this one:

Cuz stamping with your eyes closed is never a good thing. Clearly. Ugh.  Used the Moyra Dreamology 27 plate in case recreations are in order. Bahahahahaha!

Blah. 

Lastly, here’s Cold Drink in My Hand:

FOCUS. Cuz GREEN is happening.  Glorious, beautiful, mind altering green.  There’s probably a formula thing and a coats thing and maybe even other things, but at this point it’s all moot. As soon as I get control of my brain, then we’ll see. 

This one has a neon green base with bright green sparks and holo flakies, and if it ends up on all the surfaces, well that’s the most logical next step. 

Brace yourself for a noodle legs epidemic:

BIG. PUDDLE. OF GOO. Dang. 

Here’s a thing I did:

Please tell me you know this is a kiwi. Cuz I showed this to my mother and she yells FIREWORKS! like an excited 4 year old child. So either I’ve nail failed (quite possible) or mama needs to go sit down in the back (also quite possible). Regardless, I love her. This mani though? Not so much. 

Used the What’s Up Nails B008 plate, which is full of fun fruit designs for people who nail art in more appropriate ways. 

The other new collection available is this fun little cutie pie, the Little Owlet Duo:

This duo is a collaboration between Lindsay and Jenalyn from the Two Girls One Blush blog. And no, it’s not particularly summery but OMG these are the polishes of my everyday dreams. Did someone cover me in a thousand toasty blankets and hand me a bunch of kittens?  Might as well have. 

First half of the duo is Bubbly Little Owlet:

Who needs a medium brown linear holo with copper shimmer, taupe and dark brown microflakies, white flakes and gold flakes in their life?  Pretty much everyone, so lucky you, you’re buying it.

Under the lamp, she shines:

And now a macro EXTRAVAGANZA!:

Cat hair on the pinky FOR FREE!

Last half of the duo is Gloomy Little Owlet:

So this one is a dark brown linear holo with gold flakes and white flakes. Opaque in two quick coats, so perfect for those who like to go do stuff. Like socialize with friends or be Mom of the Year. Perhaps you enjoy saving the world from war and poverty.  I, on the other hand, will just be sitting here having my husband bring me stuff on his way back from the kitchen.

DREAM SCENARIO, is what I’m saying.

Under the lamps, and OMG … ladylike composure is officially out the window:

More macros, more drool:

I don’t know what white flakies are all about, but I pretty much need them everywhere and all around me.  Plus Starbucks and a Leonardo on top.  I may never leave my house again.  No pants for everyone!

Both of these polishes are awesome two coaters, easy to apply and absolutely lovely.  They got me right in the feels, guys.  They got me real good.

The round up:

Both of these collections are available now, so who’s about to have the best day ever?  (You, to be clear.)  Engage: Shopping Hand in 3 .. 2 .. 1 ..

The Beach Life collection retails for $33 or you can get a single bottle for $9; the Little Owlet duo is $20 or a single bottle retails for $10.50.

But what is all this single bottle nonsense anyway?  A damn moot point, that’s what.  All six of these beauties, in the cart, stat.  AND THEN!  I have a coupon code.  Use SOR10 for 10% off, then congratulate yourself on your savvy ways.

Click here for shopping!

Later, loves!

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