Tag Archives: beauty boxes

Sep3

Beauty DNA | August 2014

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Happy September everybody! Wishing it wasn’t still practically 100 degrees outside. Can’t we have a proper fall for once? Like in the 70s with no humidity would be lovely, thanks.

Here’s my Beauty DNA:

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Did your jaw just drop cuz mine did. Who sends a full size $96 product and only charges $25 for it? Crazy people? Or very smart people? Cuz this delivery solidifies my love for Beauty DNA and I’m pretty much a subscriber for life now. Life times $25 per month = a math problem I can’t even wrap my brain around.

They sent me the MDSolarSciences Evening Facial Repair serum. I’m not kidding when I say the word serum is magic. My cat ears instantly perk up. I love serums. I want to own alllll the serums. Pretty sure at some point my old face will be replaced with a new face and it’ll be due to all my serums. And then when people laugh at me cuz of my 17 step skincare routine, I can laugh right back at them and not even crack a wrinkle.

Cuz why? Cuz serums.

This particular one contains retinol, otherwise known as Anti-Aging Superhero. Claims to assist in destroying hyperpigmentation, fine lines, wrinkles, pores and blemishes. I’m super excited about giving it a try. Cuz I don’t know about you, but my “fine” lines and gaping pores are about to piss me off.

Gotta scoot. More fun and excitement coming soon. Massive birthday haul shown in parts. Stay tuned!

Aug26

Petit Vour | August 2014

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Oh my gawd, it’s hot outside. This is the kind of weather that tricks me into wishing for winter. But I hate winter, so good one there. If only we could be in the 70s year round that’d be perfect. I may never complain about anything ever again.

Just kidding! Here’s my Petit Vour:

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Sadly this is my last box from them. I had to let a couple go cuz I needed to be “responsible” and help my daughter out with her finances. Not that $15 a month was a big kick in the pants or anything, but I’m trying. Baby steps, people! Do you want me to drop ALL my boxes? I still have 9 and I think that’s a nice round number. Sort of.

So back to the aforementioned complaining issue. This box was just okay for me. I suppose it was a good one to end on cuz if it had knocked my socks off, I may have had to save money elsewhere. Like less Little Debbie snacks and Starbucks only four times a week.

First product is another Harvey Prince perfume sample. This time it’s Journey scented, and I couldn’t care less. Wish I loved perfume cuz this would all be more fun, but if it’s not in you it’s not in you. Why pretend otherwise?

As usual I gave it to mom. She’s inherited every perfume sample I’ve gotten. She may even be getting tired of perfume samples at this point, and she even likes the stuff. Just proves the saying – there can always be too much perfume. No one wants a billion of it.

For those curious, however, the notes are clove bud, sandalwood, rose and cedar. It doesn’t stink. And that’s all I have to say about THAT. Next.

Got another black eyeliner, this time from Beauty Without Cruelty. Annnnnnd, I didn’t like it. It was a very weak black color. I felt like I was lining, re-lining, and lining again just to get something that resembles a black, but in reality it was a facsimile of a sham. If you aren’t gonna be black, don’t call yourself black. Say you are Grey or even Almost Black – that way we all know what we’re getting into. In other words: regifted.

I did get something kind of cool though. It’s the Earthbody Brighten cleanser and mask, except it’s not your traditional cleanser and mask. It’s a clay powder that you mix with water (for the cleanser) or agave and coconut oil (for the mask). I didn’t even know something like this existed so I’m diggin’ it.

However, there’s a downside. I’m almost 97.837494% certain I’m not buying agave and coconut oil so I can make a mask. I’m sorry. I’m just not a do-it-yourself-er, especially if I have to do it each and every time I wanna do a mask. But don’t worry, I’ve contacted the company for further clarification. If there’s a shortcut, I want it.

Got a very small jar of Rosemira body butter in Sweet Coconut. It was melted to an almost liquified state upon arrival – due to 100-degree temps and 5 hours of sauna time inside my mailbox. I let it solidify for a day before using it. The smell was very nice and coconutty. The texture was slightly gritty but I don’t know if that had anything to do with the melting then un-melting scenario. Nonetheless, it felt fine going on. Left my skin slightly sticky, but it’s not the worst I’ve ever had. After it absorbed in my skin, which took awhile, I felt pretty moisturized. I don’t think I’d buy a full size though. Just cuz if I’m gonna do a body butter, I prefer the Josie Maran.

Last thing is the Mi-Me lip butter in Tangerine. Again, this was slightly melted upon arrival so I let it sit for a bit before I tried it. My favorite aspect of this particular lip butter is the tangerine scent. Unfortunately you can’t smell it much so the excitement is extremely short lived. And then after that, it’s just a standard lip balm. I’m gonna use it though. It’ll be my morning lip balm after my current morning lip balm is finished. So see! Happy ending for everyone.

Even though this was by far not my favorite Petit Vour box, I’m still gonna miss getting this every month. I may re-subscribe at some point. Or I might just apply that $15 towards a $60 foundation and call it good. We’ll see. Later, babies!

Aug24

Ipsy | August 2014

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I just spent 45 minutes putting on gel eyeliner. I swear, at some point this gets easier doesn’t it? Surely I can’t spend the rest of my life trying to perfect a wing? Eventually I’ll just have a wing?

But while we’re waiting, here’s my Ipsy:

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I like the box this month. Everything in it is useful and pertinent to me. These are the boxes that make me the happiest. Well, obviously. Only a crazy person likes to be disappointed.

First item is the Absolute New York lip balm in the Green Apple scent. Comes in a super cute tin too. If this lip balm wasn’t sent to me by someone else, I’d probably buy it on my own, especially if it was in a little bin right by the cash register. Cuz I buy whatever they put in the bin by the cash register. I mean, it’s right there. How can you not?

However, after saying all that, this lip balm is pretty standard. The consistency is very thin and watery so I’m not sure how moisturizing that makes it. But the smell is just like a green apple Jolly Rancher, and that is reason enough for me to go ahead and keep it.

Next thing is a mini kajal kohl eyeliner from Lord & Berry. I’m always happy to try out another eyeliner. This one was alright I guess. I wasn’t wowed and rendered speechless or anything, but it was fine. However, I am passing it along to my mom cuz I have a billion (give or take) black eyeliners that I like better and there’s no sense taking up valuable storage room on something that is “just fine.” Plus it was a very tiny sample. Packs a small amount of guilt.

Speaking of tiny samples, here is the Coastal Scents Forever blush duo. One side is pink and the other a peachy color. I used this the other day and blended the two together since it would’ve been almost impossible to get a blush brush in only one side. I have no complaints about the blush. I would probably even buy some of them. Full size is a mere $7.95 which is practically free. And who doesn’t love free stuff? (Crazy people.)

I was so excited to get the new Urban Decay Perversion mascara. If there’s one product I love and want to own all of, it’s mascara. I especially love really good mascaras, and this one is definitely a good one. Probably a great one. Yes, definitely a great one. I wore it several times last week and it gives my teeny tiny baby lashes this amazing volume. Reviews from others agree with me, so unless you wanna exclude yourself from a very smart group of people, then by all means don’t buy this mascara. If you hate beautiful, fluttery, fanned-out lashes, then don’t buy this mascara. I mean, after all it is your choice. The wrong choice, but still.

Last product in the box is the Dr. Brandt Pores No More primer, which was featured in my last Buying Stuff post. I loved it then and I love it now. You see, when you truly enjoy a product it’s perfectly fine to receive a duplicate. More is more, I always say. Go ahead and send me another one. I don’t mind a bit.

Just in case you haven’t read my previous review on the Pores No More, first I ask you what are you doing with your life? And then second, I say the texture of this primer melts right into your skin, soft and silky and highly addictive. It does minimize the appearance of pores although it’s not a miracle eraser or anything. It will yield a temporary blurring effect, and honestly that’s good enough for me. But for those of you without the cavern-like pores that I have, this product may be your holy grail. So lucky you. How blessed you must feel.

Pffft.

That’s all for today. My birthday is less than a week away. I’m gearing up for an onslaught of Sephora gift cards, so please accept this as your gentle reminder.

Aug19

Birchbox | August 2014

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I have been a subscriber to Birchbox for a year now so they just sent me a 25% off coupon. I spent 3 hours deciding on what to get.

I really should have more responsibilities in life.

Here’s my August Birchbox:

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Let’s get the big boo out of the way first. It’s the Catherine Malandrino Style de Paris perfume. Now, I feel like I say this every time but I’m gonna say it again. This is not against this particular perfume. I just don’t wear perfume and therefore not interested in getting samples. So when I get one in my box, my face immediately goes like this: -__-

But I know some of you adore perfume, and as a professional I feel it is my duty to inform you this is a Birchbox exclusive (at this time anyway) and it smells like mandarin, grapefruit, and pear. I mean, I didn’t smell it myself or anything, but that’s what it says on the website. Again, PROFESSIONAL. Thank you.

Next is a little tube of SeaRx Birchsap Moisturizing Lotion. I don’t know what birchsap is, but I really liked this lotion. It was very light and had a nice subtle scent. You can use it on your face or body, so it’s a multi-tasker, if you’re into those types. It absorbed really quick with no sticky film left behind. I would totally buy a full size of this if I had an extra $28 lying around and nothing else on my shopping list.

I chose to apply it to my body, and because of this decision I was only able to use this lotion twice before it ran out. But I had a great time those two days. And despite saying that, I’m an extremely cool person.

Birchbox has been trying out something new for the past couple months where they’ve been letting us pick out one of our items. I really like this cuz, while I enjoy a good surprise, sometimes it’s nice just to know, ya know? Well anyway, I selected this Noir Longwear black eyeliner not because I need more black eyeliner but because out of the 4 choices available I already owned 2 and the other was something stupid.

What can I say about a black eyeliner that hasn’t already been said? It’s black. Glides on. Stays put. Other than that, it’s pretty basic. I didn’t feel like it darkened up my waterline as much as my Sumita or the L’oreal Silkissime did. So for that reason alone it’s not my favorite and I won’t use it as often as the others. Unless I’m going for a not-as-black waterline look. Which I hardly ever do. Like never, to be more specific.

In other news, I say completely irrelevant things sometimes. Again, PROFESSIONAL.

Another BB cream to try out. Why not? This one is the Marcelle Golden Glow. I was a little hesitant to use it cuz I thought it would be too dark for me. I mean, the word golden scared me a bit. But that’s not the case at all. Got a very nice natural look out of it. Didn’t get flawless coverage or anything, but I suppose I wasn’t expecting it to.

There is a slight shimmer to this product, but I never looked shimmery which is a good thing for my old lady skin. I still had a mildly uneven skin tone (due to lack of coverage), but for something light on a hot day or maybe for weekends when you don’t care as much about flawlessness, this is a good one to try.

Last product is this lemon body wash by Not Soap, Radio. This stuff smells really good. Like proper lemon, not the furniture polish variety. This particular scent is a Birchbox exclusive, but they have other fun ones like Bubbles, Not Carbs that is supposed to curb cravings, Bathing With Sharks that is energizing, and Liquid Freud to calm you. Yes, each scent has a purpose – it’s not just a body wash, it’s mind altering. Not in a drug way (just to be clear).

That’s all for today. Hope you enjoyed. Insert Awkward Closing Statement. Bye!

Aug18

Sample Society | August 2014

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Weekends go by way too fast. The only benefit to that is my birthday is almost here. Less than two weeks in fact.

Sounds like I can’t wait to turn 40. But really I just like gifts.

Here’s my Sample Society:

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Ever since the relaunch of this box, I’ve been quite impressed. Hopefully it continues in this way cuz disappointment is a stupid noun that should not have been invented.

Let’s start with the thing I gave away first. That Oribe Surfcomber texturizing mousse. You throw the word texturizing in anything, and chances are I don’t want it. My flat ironed hair does not need texture. It needs smoothness and shine. That’s it. Anything else equals a bad hair day and a calling into work type situation.

And maybe this is just mousse. I used to use mousse all the time in the 90s, and things ended well. But now products just can’t be simple anymore. They can’t just be mousse. They have to be mousse with superpowers. Plus, the instructions say to apply to DRY hair, and I am immediately alerted to impending disaster. So I will kindly opt out and pass it along to my daughter who isn’t afraid of anything.

Got a little vial of the Kate Somerville Dilo Oil. I’ve always wanted to try this brand, so even though it’s not what I would have asked for first, I am excited about giving it a go anyway. The directions say you can add a few drops to your moisturizer (one option) so this is probably what I’ll do. Although one review mentioned mixing a drop with their foundation to help with application which makes me think of the dry texture of the Kat Von D Lock It foundation. I love the result of the foundation, but putting it on is a big o pain in the ass. I bet combining it with the Dilo Oil will make it spread like a dream. Or at least that what I hope happens. I’ll give it a try this weekend and report back.

I wasn’t so thrilled about the neon orange Ciate nail polish cuz I have zero interest in nail polish. We’ve discussed this. However, I do not own a neon orange (color Cha Cha Cha), so that is the ONLY reason I’m keeping it. It’s a good summer/Halloween color or if I ever feel like deer hunting (i.e., never), I can match my safety vest like a damn professional.

I will say I’m quite impressed with the formula of this nail polish. It dried super duper quick. Like I was barely done with my left hand and it was virtually ready for coat two. One thing though is it absolutely needs a top coat cuz it has no shine in it whatsoever. So have one handy and everything will work out fine.

I already own a full size of this Too Faced Melted lipstick in Melted Peony, but I’m still completely cool with getting another one. Mainly, cuz it gives me hope for future boxes that might possibly include similar awesome items such as this. But also cuz I’m giving it to my sister and then there’s no excuse for her not to love me forever.

For those that don’t know, these melted lipsticks are fab. They are highly pigmented and you get full on color with one swipe. They are glossy and beautiful. I only own the peony color, but I wouldn’t hate it if someone buys me another one.

Last item in the box is the Jane Iredale Longest Lash mascara. Sadly, this one is not for me. The pro: the brush is huge and voluminous. The con: it deposits the faintest amount of product, and for me, I need lots to give my teeny lashes the proper boost. Literally, if you have the time, you’ll need to do roughly 15 coats if you’d like any volume. I put this on before work and it was such a big boo, I was in a bad mood for the rest of the day. It’s amazing how my makeup skills are tied to my mental health. Perhaps you should just check my eyeliner before speaking to me, you know, to make sure it’s safe.

This mascara would work best for people who don’t need volume but would prefer fanned out, clump free lashes. Or maybe people who would like a natural lash look, although if that’s what you like, chances are you don’t wear mascara at all.

Alright I’m done. Time for bathing. See you tomorrow, loves.

Aug11

Blush Mystery Beauty Box | August 2014

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Just a little reminder that this is my month-long birthday extravaganza. I like gift cards.

Here’s my Blush box:

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If I felt like doing a math problem, I’d calculate I like about 60% of this box. But I suck at math, so 60% might as well be half of a half divided by two times a billion. It’s a language I simply don’t speak. So I’ll just say ho hum pigs bum cuz that makes more sense.

First product that I immediately didn’t want is the Neuma style texturizer. What is this? Is it mousse? Gel? Is it one of those volumizing cream things that creates a stiff sticky-up hair fiasco upon your head? I dunno, and I’m scared to try. I’ve been down that round before and it’s var var unattractive. Think I’ll just stick to my regimen of wash, blow dry, flat iron and call it good.

Next item is the Nailtiques nail polish in the color Tahiti and it made my face go like this: -__-

I wish I loved nail polish. I really do. I would be less annoyed that’s for sure. So I’m not saying anything about this particular nail polish or even the Nailtiques brand itself. I just can’t ever get excited about any of it, any time, for any reason. Unless you’re the new Christian Louboutin nail polish – well perhaps I can make an exception for you. But that’s just me being shallow. Moving on.

Got this Nick Chavez Plump ‘N Thick shampoo, and I’m thinking alright I’ll use this, along with your luxuriously fine conditioner that you’ve no doubt sent me. Exxxxceeeept you didn’t. How am I supposed to get the full effect of the plumping and thickening benefits you so proudly tout if I ain’t got no conditioner to seal the deal? Rude.

So I used this the other day and paired it up with my Carol’s Daughter hair mask, which is the only solution I could come up with. The shampoo is fine. Isn’t overly perfumed, lathered well. Got my hair nice and clean. But who the hell knows if it’ll plump or thicken anything? I sure don’t. Pretty sure I’d have to use an entire industrial-sized bottle to find out anyway. Nothing is instant gratification anymore. If you want something you have to work at it. And who has time for that?

Finally things are taking a turn. I am not unhappy to receive the Pixi Beauty Lid Last shadow pen. I’m trying to cultivate a love for cream shadows. Even purchased a special cream shadow brush from Sigma for just this purpose. And then watched a tutorial on the Pixi Beauty website. I am nothing if not thorough. I mean if you can’t be obsessed properly, why bother?

The color I got was Graphite Glint which is a dark grey. And it looks really good as a smudgy liner. I’m gonna play with it this weekend to see if I can make a smokey eye with it. I’ll report back. Maybe take a pic if it turns out okay.

Best thing in the box was the Dr. Brandt matte BB cream. I wore this over the weekend, and I thought it was very nice. The finish was matte but not crazy matte, and the coverage was pretty decent for a BB cream. I’m not a huge hoarder of BB creams. I usually use them once and move on, but I think I’ll keep this one.

Last product in the box is the SkinMedica Dermal Repair Cream moisturizer. I have stored this away for another time cuz I’m currently working through a full-size never ending rose scented one that I’m forcing upon my husband to share with me otherwise I’ll be using it for the next 15 years or so.

I had never heard of the SkinMedica brand, but I saw online it was roughly $125 for the full size. And also they sell it at the same place where my daughter got her wisdom teeth removed. This was discovered today in fact while I was sequestered in a room by myself watching a video on post-op care. I had to watch the video twice. I was distracted, obviously.

That’s it. Blush box = done. More fun stuff tomorrow.

Jul31

Lip Factory | July 2014

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Last day of the month in case you didn’t know.

I am nothing if not helpful. And best blogger in all the land.

Here’s my Lip Factory:

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Woah, that’s a lot of stuff! And I’m happy with EVERYTHING. This is like having the best day ever combined with winning the Power Ball combined with living inside a Sephora. I don’t even have to explain that further cuz I know y’all is going Gurrrrrl, I know.

First up are these two lip glosses from Beauty Addicts. Got a pink one and a gold one. If I had to pick my least favorite thing in the box, it would be these, simply cuz they’re just your basic lip gloss. Not bad products by any means though. The applicator is a brush which I feel amps up the fancy a notch. Also they are not sticky. My granddaughter has confiscated the gold one because for some reason at the tender age of 3 she has already cultivated a love for makeup. I have no idea how this has happened. Nope, no idea at all.

But I suppose I love these lip glosses more than I love this Ofra lip liner. Although, I did at least get a good color (baby doll pink) instead of the nude/spice/cinnamon shades I’ve been getting recently. The liner went rather well with a couple of lip products I already own, so it won’t go to waste at least. It’s not super showy uppy (shhhh, it’s a word) on my lips though. That’s the only negative thing I have to say about this lip liner. And everything else I have to say is super boring.

Next up is this really awesome lip paint by J. Cat Beauty. The application of this is very similar to the OCC Lip Tar because you need barely a pin drop. I swear, I will own this tube for the rest of my life. And because the retail price is only $4.99, that makes it practically free. I got a really pretty pink color that’s very wearable (i.e., not neon) called Blabberwocky. I’m not sure what a Blabberwocky is, but it’s obviously this color. And this color is fab.

Then there was this lip balm. I am always sort of like okeydokey about lip balm cuz usually it’s pretty boring. But once I tried the Eco Lips Eco Tints, I was like hello, honey. I feel an addiction coming on. If you like a slight peppermint tingle, soft texture, and a pretty luminous tint (mine is Rose Quartz), then you need to put this in your shopping cart. Plus it’s only $4.50 and that’s guilt free shopping, which is always allowed. Granted you probably have to order 15 of them to qualify for free shipping, but that’s beside the point.

Received a pretty summery teal green eyeshadow from Pari Beauty. This is a fairly pigmented shadow and it looks pretty good against my brown eyes. It seems matte to me, but online it says it’s a frost. I’m not sure if that’s a typo or rather I’ve not known what a true frost eyeshadow is my entire life, but the shade Eco-Friendly (#70) has almost no shimmer in it whatsoever. If that’s the definition of frost, so be it. What I do know is that it’s a nice eyeshadow. That’s not up for discussion.

Last two items are from Palladio. First one is the Brow Fix wax pencil. I like the idea of this pencil, although I may need a little training class. I tried though, I tried real hard. See, I ran this pencil through my brows, and I could feel that product was transferred. Okay, so far so good. Then I did a little spoolie brush to shape my brows to perfection. Seems alright. I went about my day thinking I had the most gloriously coifed brows in all the land – until I caught a glimpse in the mirror where my left arch was hanging straight down onto my eye skin. I’m sorry, this was not in your description. Delete delete delete.

Needless to say I’m gonna have to play around with my technique. At this point, nothing keeps my eyebrow hairs under control quite like my Anastasia Brow Gel. But I do love options, so it’d be nice if I can figure this thing out.

Last Palladio item is their Shadow & Liner Crayon in the shade Champagne. The description says it’s a soft gel formula that eliminates the need to tug or pull at the eye. Well, again, unless that’s not completely true, then I need a training class because this did not effortlessly glide across my eyeball. However, the shimmery shade was very pretty and provided a nice base for another shadow I layered on top. And if I heated this up in the microwave first it would probably apply just like butter.

Kids, please do not heat up your eyeshadow crayons in the microwave.

All in all, this box was awesome. Got lots of goodies which all will be used and appreciated. Looking forward to the next box. But then again, I’m in a constant state of that. That is why I subscribe to 11 boxes. We’ve been over this.

Toodles!

Jul30

Petit Vour | July 2014

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The end of the month is looming. And exactly one month from today I turn 40 years old. That’s 4 decades of life if you need help counting. Eek! I’m getting old, you guys. I’m scared.

Here’s my Petit Vour:

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I know most beauty boxes say 4-5 products are included, but when you get just the 4, doesn’t it look like something is missing? So yes, this should be a short review. Maybe that’s a good thing since I’m forever in a state of behindedness.

First thing is this loose shimmer eyeshadow from Modern Minerals in the color Lola. Lola is a beautiful peachy coppery color. I mean so beautiful that despite my nap-inducing excitement for loose eyeshadows, I decided to keep this one. I wore it on Sunday and it’s stunning. Like crazy pretty. I applied it wet so it went on metallic but I blended it a little so it wouldn’t be too flashy. Turned out so nice I was like heyyyyy, supermodel. Then I looked around real quick to make sure no one heard me. Unless you’re Vogue, please just look away.

Perhaps the most bizarre thing I’ve gotten in quite awhile (cuz the poo drops that Blush sent several months back wins hands-down for life), is this all natural deodorant from Schmidt’s. Now, the deodorant itself isn’t bizarre necessarily, but it comes in a jar which you have to dig out with your fingers. I don’t want to touch deodorant with my fingers. Touching deodorant is almost as icky as picking macaroni and cheese out of shag carpet, which I did once in a dream and it was super gross.

That was weird. I’m sorry.

However, if you can get past that then you get the double sensory pleasure of rubbing this into your own armpits. And cuz my armpits are prickly about 2 minutes after I shave them, it’s an even greater joy. But despite the ickiness of application, this stuff smelled like limes and kept me from stinking all day. And there’s nothing poisonous in it, which is a bonus if you ask me. I may even consider repurchasing – and cross my fingers they send a tiny spatula.

I got a facial oil from Pelle Beauty and I’m okay with it. It’s a pretty small sample but I’m sure it’ll last me for weeks. I was looking on the website, and noticed there are some very specific instructions for use. You need to make sure your clean skin is VERY DAMP when applying. I don’t know if that helps with absorption or what, but since they said this you better dadgum believe this is EXACTLY what I’ll do. I don’t mess around with directions as I don’t want my face to fall off cuz I applied it wrong. However, it’s unclear if you’re supposed to use a moisturizer afterwards or not. So if you’ve been reading this blog for awhile you already know I’ve sent an email to the company for further explanation. Yes, I’m annoying.

Last product is a big o boo. Not the brand LVX, just the nail polish genre. Plus I don’t need another pale pink polish. Had they sent me a really cool lavender, maybe I would’ve kept it. But since they didn’t, it now lives with my friend in her house. Don’t worry – she will care for like a proper mommy.

Welp, I’m done for the day. Pajama time is getting closer as we speak. Bye!

Jul29

Glossybox | July 2014

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Really trying to squeeze all these reviews in before July 31. I suppose I make it really hard for myself when I subscribe to 11 of them. Do you see the sacrifices I make for my people? DO. YOU. SEE?

I am nothing if not professional.

Here’s my Glossybox:

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Pretty good this month! I’ll use everything so that’s a success if you ask me. Let’s begin.

First item is a body cream from Mitchell and Peach. I have never heard of this brand but they are English and by default, adorable. I am not a huge lover of lotion but I do use it daily after bathing. This one has a slightly odd scent of honey and cocoa – not to be confused with CHOCOLATE – so it doesn’t smell as heavenly as you might expect. It may grow on me, though. I mean, it doesn’t stink or anything. It’s not a mushroom lotion, thank God.

Then I got this weird little hair toner from Philip B. I say weird because I’ve never seen a product like this – it restores the pH balance in your hair as well as detangles and controls frizz. Well, that sounds normal and all, but it’s made with apple cider vinegar. Whaaaaaa?!. I know. And then I used it and I was like yep, definitely apple cider vinegar. A little smelly, but kind of in an addictive way. Where the more you smell it the more you sorta like it. Which is good because the vinegar is unmistakeable although the website tries to convince you it smells like botanicals. Bwahahahaha.

No.

Regardless, I like this stuff and I might even repurchase, which says a lot cuz I don’t get moved very often by hair thingies.

There’s just something about the name Malin + Goetz that gets me excited. Maybe it’s the use of the plus-sign in their name. Or maybe I’m just a weirdo. Whatever the case may be, I was happy to see the little mojito lip balm. I used it immediately because I couldn’t contain my curiosity. This stuff is like a thick oil instead of a solid balm. Has a minty feeling to it but smells kind of citrusy. Is that a mojito? I don’t even know. I probably need to drink more alcohol so I can do reviews properly.

Anyway, this stuff is very soothing on the lips and lasts for a suuuuuper long time. I went to bed and it was still there the next morning, albeit a stickier version. This is the only lip balm that’s done that, so maybe it might cure my chronic peeling lip skin? I’m on a mission to find out.

There’s a little baby tube of GlamGlow in here! Got the youth mud tingle version and I’ve used it before. I did like this, although it burned my face off for about 30 seconds. Let’s just say tingle is a horribly inappropriate word. However, afterwards my face was as smooth as a velvet pillow. So half a minute of searing, torturous pain? Totally worth it. It’s also won beauty awards and famous people use it. My two favorite things. In other words = winner.

Last item in the box is the most intriguing. It is an anti aging serum by Skin Inc, and the picture I took does it no justice whatsoever. It’s a clear gel looking solution with floating tiny beads in it. Or to be completely scientific, they’re seaweed capsules. It literally looks like it came from the future, and I can’t wait to use it. It’s a custom blend of two of their serums, and it’s supposed to soothe and hydrate the skin. And if you judge books by their cover like I do, then this stuff would be a New York Times best seller.

Alrighty, that’s all for today. Three boxes to go, two days left. A fail, but only slight.

Jul26

Boxycharm | July 2014

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You wanna be depressed? Here’s my Boxycharm:

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Seriously, what is this? All my favorite un-favorites having a reunion? I mean, we got nail polish, a 6th tube of the same dadgum moisturizer, loose eyeshadow … I hate to be a Debbie Downer, but this box is NO. BUENO.

But to be fair, I am reviewing it anyway cuz I know not everyone dislikes the same things I do. Also, I am a professional and that’s how I take care of business.

First two items are from Bellapierre. The lip liner is fine, although I got the cinnamon color which matches all the other cinnamon colored lip liners I’ve been sent recently. I don’t use lip liners that often although I really should. My old lady lips may not be able to survive without it now.

The other item is a loose eyeshadow. I do not use this. Especially cuz I got the bubble gum pink shade. Nothing says I’m twelve! quite like pale pink glitter. Granted, I know some of y’all can pull this off, but not me. I would look like I tried too hard to be cool and failed miserably. I already can’t draw a straight eyeliner line in under 20 minutes (per eye) – I don’t need to make a fool of myself further. Regifted!

Next.

This product is someone’s idea of a very not-funny joke. Presenting my billionth tube of Pur-Lisse moisturizer. Boo. Hiss. I’m not even kidding how annoyed I am. I suppose it’s the hazard of subscribing to 11 boxes, but still. Granted, I did use one previous tube of this and there’s nothing wrong with it. I liked it just fine. It was light, absorbed quickly, which is a mandatory thing considering I don’t have time to wait around in the morning. But I lose interest in things pretty quickly after spending over a month on one product. I’ve moved on, Pur-Lisse, why can’t you?

Annnnnnnd then, a salt in the wound sort of situation has now commenced. Nail polish. I’m seriously going back to bed, you guys. How many red polishes can one person own? The answer is ONE and then you are done for the rest of your life. So I have regifted this Lauren B Beauty one to a very deserving friend where it will be free to run and play and be happy forever. I mean, literally forever. Nail polish does not die.

Last product in the box, and THE ONLY THING I actually like is this lipstick from Appeal Cosmetics. I got a nude pink called Mock-Up, and it goes very well with my skin tone. In fact, the website says it goes perfect with every skin tone so that’s good news. I’ve been getting into nude lipsticks lately, but having a struggle finding one that doesn’t wash me out so I’m very happy to have this.

Needless to say, I have done the grown up thing and canceled my Boxycharm subscription. I didn’t want to continue to spend money on a box that more often than not leaves me cranky. I can’t spend $20 just for the excitement of opening up a box. Well, I can but that’s a var var stupid idea.

So I’ve now subscribed to Vegan Cuts and we’re gonna get that a try. Plus it’s $2 cheaper. Saving money. That’s what I’m all about.

Sorta.