Tag Archives: Glossybox

Glossybox | June 2015


My house is haunted.  Normally when people say things like that, I find it hard to believe because if I didn’t see it myself with my own two eyes, then certainly it never happened.  So maybe I am being punished for not trusting people or calling them liars behind their backs, cuz this past weekend while I was home alone, I had my own ghost experience.

I was polishing my nails on Saturday afternoon, minding my own business as I am wont to do (otherwise known as too lazy to be messing in anyone else’s business), and I hear a loud buzzing coming from the back of the house.  I go investigate because at this point there is no reason to be scared.  Discover it is my husband’s razor in the shower that somehow turned its vibrate setting on by itself.  Well that is indeed interesting.  I turn it off and go back to painting my nails.  I will admit my heart is starting to mildly beat heavily in my chest.  And no more than five minutes later, the buzzing starts again.  Okay, this is unacceptable, particularly because I am yelling at a razor to STOP IT RIGHT NOW, which is frowned upon in most societies.

I turn off the razor and sit it next to me at my new nail polish station (or “kitchen table”, if you’d rather) where I could keep an eye on it for further monkey business.  My heart is pounding and I’m getting dizzy.  The clock says hubby won’t be home for another three hours.  Three hours is plenty of time to be murdered by a ghost, I’m sure of it.  And wouldn’t you know, roughly five more minutes go by and that dadgum razor goes off again right in front of my eyeballs.  I slam my hand down on the table (and get glitter nail polish everywhere, mind you), remove the batteries from the razor, then text my husband to tell him we’re selling the house.  Completely logical next step if you ask me.

And if you’re still interested, here’s my Glossybox:

I believe this is the latest I’ve ever been reviewing one of my boxes.  I almost skipped it because I thought by now no one would care about it.  But I suppose it’s not necessarily the box that’s important, but the products inside, so I’m being a good little blogger and reviewing like someone is paying me to do it.  They’re not paying me.  But they should.

First item is the Etre Belle Aloe Vera Moisturing Gel.  At first I thought this was just some after-sun product that I would never need to use because if things can’t be done indoors like God intended, then what is the point? However, upon further review, it seems it can be used as a light moisturizer, particularly for those with oily skin, and as a primer for before makeup.  I used it as such, and it behaved just fine.  Very light, only slightly sticky (which didn’t last long anyway), and it had a nice refreshing smell.  I don’t think it’s anything I’d rush out to purchase on my own, but since I have it I’ll use it.

Next item is the coveted Too Faced Better Than Sex mascara.  This mascara has won lots of kudos from customers and companies alike because it performs miracles (apparently).  Paula’s Choice website lists it as the Best of the Best.  So feel free to take my review with a grain of salt, but I was not a fan.  The brush on this mascara is an eye gouge waiting to happen.  It’s ginormous, and when you have teeny baby lashes, a big bushy mascara wand is at the bottom of your Need list.  I couldn’t get it near the base of my lashes without poking myself in the eyeball.  But since everyone else in the world loves it, I seem to be the only one with this problem.  In other words, my point is moot.

Now that I’m getting into nail polish, I was completely happy with receiving this Orly one.  However, I got the shade Lola which is kind of a basic medium pink.  It didn’t knock my socks off, but the formula was nice.  Went on smooth.  Did three coats to make damn sure it was opaque because I know me; I’d focus on a miniscule uneven spot until my eyes bled.  I wish I could tell you if it was chip resistant, but I’ve been changing my nail polish every single day because I’m obsessed and not normal.

One product I most definitely did not like was the Doucce Cosmetics blush brush.  I mean, it’s a brush so it’ll get the job done, but it was not soft at all.  Unless mine was a dud.  I checked the reviews on the Glossybox site, and of course everyone but me loved it.  But mine was scratchy and it shed bristles on my face – that’s a fact.  So I didn’t even keep it – I couldn’t even be bothered to pass it along.  Tossed it right in File 13 and then I moved on with my life.

Last item in the box was the Rich Pure Luxury Intense Moisture shampoo.  Again, no conditioner counterpart.  What is this epidemic?  This doesn’t make sense even to really stupid people – shampoo and conditioner go together.  Like peanut butter and jelly, or like when you order a drink it comes in a cup.  However, because this shampoo claims to be intensively moisturizing and my hair is super fine, I figured I could let it slip this one time.  But ONE TIME ONLY.  Next box that sends one but not the other gets a karate chop to the throat.

So yes, I’ve been using the shampoo.  It’s fine.  Doesn’t gunk up my hair.  I wouldn’t go so far to say it gave my hair an overload of moisture – which may be a good thing depending on your preference – but I’m finishing the tube anyway.  It smells nice.  There’s also that.

You’re at the end.  Doesn’t that feel nice, to do something from start to finish?  You’ve earned gold stars and now you may get back in pajamas.  I’m in mine because I wrote a blog post, and that sometimes takes light years.  Bye, everyone!

Glossybox | May 2015


I sense a failure coming on.  The end of the month is nearing and I have three reviews left to do.  I would say it’s 100% possible to achieve this small victory, but I know me.  Here’s a typical conversation at my house:

HUBBY:  Do you want to watch a show?

ME:  Yes, just let me finish scrolling Instagram.

(2 hours later…)

HUBBY:  I’m going to bed.

Well, is it my fault I have things to do?  YouTube won’t watch itself ya know.  However, I’m always making an effort, even when it looks like I’m not.  Trust me, if I had less of an OCD personality, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation.  But until then, I’m reading every drop of my US Weekly magazine – even the story about the Real Housewives of Wherever although I never watch that show and have no idea who they are talking about.  I have mental issues, I’m quite aware.

Here’s my Glossybox:

Well let’s start with the thing I gave away.  It’s the Sebastian Stylbrid 9 hairspray – a product I’ll never use.  You don’t need much hairspray when you wear your hair straight every day.  It’s a scientific FACT.  So I passed it along to mom who told me it was okay.  Decent hold but nothing amazing.  I did some reading up on it for you (cuz who’s the professional?) and it says it’s a spray mousse that will add volume and texture as well as provide hold.  I don’t want any of those things.  Reviews on the Glossybox website, however, are very favorable so it’s worth a try if hairspray is your thing.  It’s not mine but I have plenty of other admirable qualities.

I’m a big fan of GlamGlow but I had yet to try their PowerMud Dualcleanse Treatment which is their most recent mask.  And while not as powerful (i.e., ability to burn your face off) as the YouthMud, it still had a mild tingly effect.  I felt the application was more gentle – it didn’t have those crushed up weird bits in it like the YouthMud either.  Like I swear I squirted a leaf out of the last tube of YouthMud I used.  Anyway, this mask is supposed to detox your skin with its mud-to-oil formula.  Miraculously, I’ve been pimple free for about a month or so (ever since I stopped using my expired foundation – surprise surprise), so I couldn’t really test out how it would perform against zits.  But it did leave my skin feeling very clean and soft.  I’m saving the rest of the tube for a bad skin day and at that point I’ll decide if I need to splurge on it.

I was so excited the Doucce Cosmetics Mineral Matt lipstick I got wasn’t red that anything else about it didn’t matter.  It could have been a just-been-used by a 2-year-old who just ate Cheetos tube of lipstick, and I still would’ve chosen it over the pristine red one.  I have no use for red lipstick in my life; however, I do love me some Cheetos.  Having said all this, and despite the fact the color is a lovely natural rose, I couldn’t get past the waxy, dry texture.  This had about as much pleasure in it as trying to take a relaxing nap with underwear stuck up your butt crack (i.e., NOT VERY).  So while I enjoyed the color very much, I had to let it go.  I passed it along to my mother who loves free anything.  

My favorite product in the box was the Clearista Retexturizing Gel.  This was like an exfoliator, but better.  I’m not sure what’s in this stuff – and this may not be the most pleasing way to describe it – but instead of exfoliating beads there’s exfoliating chunks.  And they’re soft chunks, very gentle on the skin.  It feels super good on your face.  And after wiping this away (no bead residue, mind you), I swear I had a noticeably brighter, healthier complexion.  Could be psychological brain trickery for all I know, but I’m about 2.5 seconds from buying the full size anyway.

Last product in the box was the Teeeze Trendy Head Over Heels nail top coat.  I was happy to see this because I didn’t have a proper top coat in my meager nail polish stash.  I say proper cuz I have a sunscreen polish from Palladio that’s clear, but it’s not labeled as a top coat so therefore it’s not.  (I’m assuming.)  Regardless, I have an official one now.  And I’m no expert on top coats or even nail polish for that matter, but I suppose it’s a decent one.  I used it a couple weeks ago and I immediately deposited a nice big air bubble on my thumbnail.  Not saying this top coat is low quality – I’m saying someone needs to watch more nail tutorials on YouTube.

And that viscious cycle of having too much to do starts all over again.  You can see how quickly this happens.  I was literally seconds away from watching TV with my husband.  But now I have to watch nail tutorials.  Uggghhhhhhh.  It’s so hard being me, you guys.  Just SO. HARD.  Good night!

Glossybox | April 2015


I’ve been having a little bedtime issue with my very old cat.  Out of the blue, for whatever reason, she’s taken to walking around the top of my pillow (i.e., where most of my hair is), massaging it and purring for Jesus, for what seems like eons until she finally decides to lay down.  Occasionally she even likes to stand still for a second just long enough for me to look up straight into her butthole.  That is NEVER pleasant at 2 a.m.  And then when she does sit, all I can think about is that her butthole is on my pillow.  Where my head-slash-hair-slash-face goes.  Erlack!  Does your tummy hurt now, cuz mine sure does.

What that has to do with my Glossybox, I’ll never know.  But here it is anyway:

Um, cutest box EVER?!  Yes, ma’am.  Glossybox knocked it out this month.  It also came with a cute little makeup bag which I forgot to include in the picture.  And then I was too lazy to redo it.  In my defense it was Saturday, I was in pajamas and in the middle of a Netflix marathon.  But also because I didn’t want to.

First item is the Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics Lip Tar Stained Gloss in the shade New Wave.  I own a couple of regular Lip Tars and they are majorly pigmented, very bold and kind of scary for a work day.  But these stained glosses are great.  This neon vibrant pink is surprisingly very (universally) wearable because, while pigmented, it’s still somewhat sheer.  I like it!  I can’t speak for the other colors in the line – which aren’t very many compared to the regular Lip Tars – but I approve of this one.  Put it in your basket!

Very rarely do I rave on a hair product, primarily because my hair regime is slim-to-none.  But I’m very much in a passionate love affair with this Marrakesh Endz Split End Mender.  I’ve used it a few times to wet hair (ends only) and I could really tell the difference.  Hair looked less like the dirty end of a broom and more like the hair of a maiden on a galloping horse.  Granted, I would have to use my flatiron to smooth it out completely, but I could still go out in public first.  That may not be saying much since I go to Starbucks in my pajamas, but then again if I’m putting pants on during the weekend, there’s a strong possibility that’s an imposter and I’ve been kidnapped.

I have already tried a sample of the Estee Lauder Enlighten Dark Spot Correcting serum not too long ago, and if you’d like to read my review of it, kindly click here.  If you’d like the Cliff Notes version, then I’ll tell you that this is a nice serum.  Absorbs very fast, smells good.  Probably would correct some dark spots if I could use it longer than the week the sample yields.  If you’re interested in science, you’ll be happy to know that 77% of women noticed a significant reduction of dark spots and discoloration.  That just means only 23% of women already had nice complexions and therefore they can sit right back down.  Nobody likes a winner.

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you already know I’m not a fan of perfume.  In fact, the one and only bottle of perfume I own is still sitting in my linen closet, 10 years old, and missing maybe an inch of product.  And I even liked that one (Elizabeth Arden Green Tea).  What I’m trying to tell you is, I love the packaging on this Aerin Waterlily Sun perfume.  It’s very cheerful and springy.  I almost want to use the perfume cuz I like the box it’s in.  Is that shallow?  Probably.  I checked the notes for the perfume lovers and there’s bergamot, jasmine and waterlily in it.  It smells nice.  I’m probably going to keep it.  Maybe use it on a very rare occasion.  Or maybe it’ll just sit next to the Elizabeth Arden and keep her company.  Who’s to say?

Last product is the Julep Gel Eye Glider in Bronze Shimmer.  I didn’t need another eyeliner I’ll tell you that, but I was curious about the brand’s makeup line.  So yes, it was creamy and glide (glid? glided?) well.  Color was nice.  It wasn’t anything more interesting than any other eyeliner I’ve used.  It was pretty.  It didn’t smudge on me.  But that’s about it.  I’ll keep it, but I don’t feel like rushing out to buy twelve more.  Because I’m certainly not opposed to doing that.  I have a bag full of Urban Decay 24/7 liners to prove it.

K, folks, we’re done.  You can go back to doing whatever else you do besides read this blog (you know, the unimportant stuff).  I’ll have one more post up before April 30, I swear.  So get excited if you aren’t already.  (You are.)

Glossybox | March 2015


I am in the midst of a Makeup Geek eyeshadow addiction and I can’t freaking stop.  I decided maybe a week ago I wanted to go ahead and own every eyeshadow they make – you know, a realistic and feasible goal, because it’s necessary to possess ALL 81 of them, even the ugly ones.  Well, why be obsessed if you can’t do it properly?  I’ve got like 19 left to purchase.  I’m insane.

Here’s my Glossybox:


I’m about 50/50 on this box.  Mostly usable stuff, which is good, although I didn’t love everything.  Well,  you’ll see.  Let’s review!

First thing is this Orogold 24K Multi-Vitamin Day Moisturizer.  I actually got two of them in the box.  I’m not sure if that was an accident or not but one of my other friends got two as well so maybe not.  In any case, the full size of this stuff is $178 and nothing else matters.  How shallow is that? (Very.)

So is it worth that high dollar price then?  Well, it feels nice on the skin.  Absorbs semi-quickly.  And most importantly, Demi Lovato uses it.  What more information do you need, honestly?  Seriously, does someone have a question as I believe all bases have been covered.  It’s expensive and famous people use it.  Other than that, if you need actual scientific information, you’ve stumbled upon this blog by accident.  There’s gold in it – does that help?

Next is the ModelCo More Brows brow gel.  I like and use brow gels.  No matter how perfectly coifed I think my brows are, both of them have rogue hairs in the arch that just will not behave.  And because this one is tinted, I can use it quickly without much hassle.  Similar to my love affair with Benefit’s Gimme Brow.  The part I didn’t like was that it set very quickly.  Like, while I was shaping them.  I could feel the brush kind of getting stuck in my hairs.  Not really stuck, but sticking.  This may be a benefit to some people, but not for me.  I need ample playing around time because I am anal and a perfectionist.  Some call it OCD; I call it me on a normal day.  It’s why I have to get up at the crack of dawn just to make it to work on time(ish).

Got this Bellapierre cheek and lip stain in the shade Pink.  Normally this would put me right to sleep, but I have to admit to a particular obsession for cream blushes going on about now.  I find they look more natural on cheeks riddled with cavern-like pores (like mine).  So I was actually excited for once.  This pink  shade was very much a bright, vibrant pink.  It went on naturally though, not prostitute-y at all.  It was nice.  As a lip color, though, I did not enjoy.  It looked very chalky and unflattering on me.

In the end, I kept this product in my stash for about a week then gave it away.  I knew I would never use it again.  I can’t say exactly why – there was nothing wrong with it.  Maybe I’m getting more discerning in my old age or something.  Perhaps my hoarding skills are evolving.  Either way, I passed it along to someone else who would love it and appreciate it more than me.  That’s almost 100% of me being a responsible adult.  The other 95% is me wanting to buy something else more exciting to take its place.

I was the most excited about this So Susan concealer palette.  I’ve always wanted to own something like this, even though it’s not like I couldn’t drag my ass into Target whenever I felt like it and buy one.  I mean, I don’t live in No Man’s Land or anything.  Target is literally less than a mile from my house.  I could walk there if I felt like it (but I don’t; horrible idea).  Anyway, this palette.  It’s a cutie.  And handy!  I used the medium shade to correct my dark circles and the lighter shade to brighten the under eye.  I haven’t used the white or the darkest shade cuz I’m not really sure what to do with them.  Perhaps highlight and contour?  Maybe so.

Performance-wise, this isn’t a bad concealer quad, and the coverage is about average for me.  You do need to warm up the pan with your finger before applying it, otherwise it’s too dry to smooth out properly.  I blended mine with a brush and it worked out pretty well.  I do have better concealers and correctors, but for now I’m going to continue using the quad as just another option in my ever-rotating roster of products.

Last item in the box is the Nexxus Color Assure shampoo which I promptly gave away since my hair is not colored.  I probably could’ve used it anyway – it’s not like my hair would’ve fallen out or anything (I don’t think).  But my mom has colored hair, so I knew she would get the most benefit out of it.  I was reading some reviews online in an effort to give you some information about the product (cuz PROFESSIONAL) and man oh man do people not like this shampoo!  Seriously, go look it up on Walmart.com or even the Nexxus website itself.  It’s laughable how terrible people say this is.  I almost wish I could get the shampoo back from my mom so I could find out for myself.  But then I’d probably end up having to wash my hair twice in one day, and lord knows how much that doesn’t need to happen.  I mean, if I want to accomplish anything else in my life, that is.

Welp, we’re done with March.  I’m going to do everything I possibly can to make April more better.  If I can keep my nose out of YouTube long enough that is.  You know how it is – var var busy always and forever.  Bye!

Glossybox | February 2015


Well lookie there.  Time got away from me again.  I feel like at this point no one really cares what I got in my February Glossybox because it’s freaking March now and we’ve all moved on.  I’m blaming this sheer lack of organization on the fact that I was forced to go to Disneyland for work.  And Daylight Savings Time stole an hour from me.  That’s where my blogging time went.  On Sunday morning about 2 a.m. when the clocks changed.

Regardless, here’s my Glossybox anyway:


First item in the box is this ginormous bottle of Rituals Yogi Flow shower gel.  This stuff is exactly like shaving cream, but it’s body wash instead.  Of course, you could use it to shave your legs if you want to – there are no rules with shaving cream, ya know.  Otherwise, I’d have a stack of lonely conditioner samples collecting dust underneath my bathroom counter.  But as a body wash, it’s pretty nice.  Rich, thick, smells good.  Ummm, what else?  Rinses clean.  Full size costs $15, and it’ll last you a good while since you need just half a dollop to get a good lather going.  Not sure if I’d buy it on my own, but that’s only cuz I don’t have a thing for shower gels like I do for mascara or blush.  Shower gel is a necessity in life, not a luxury.  So unless you come in a wicker basket with matching lotion, spritzer, and a loofah, then chances are I’ll use you then forget about you.  (I know.  I’m a horrible girlfriend.)

Got this Unwash Cleansing Conditioner, and it peaked my interest for about 2.5 seconds.  Then I realized it’s one of those shampoos that isn’t real shampoo, just a conditioner that claims to clean your hair “just like” a shampoo but in reality ends up frustrating me because it won’t lather and my brain doesn’t understand why.  You know the kind.  I can’t do these, y’all.  My hair is too fine for a conditioner to go all over my head and in my roots.  And not only that, I have no control over how much I use.  If you don’t lather up, how will I know when I’m done?  (Answer:  I don’t.)  I keep going and going until half the tube is gone, and my hair has this horrible dirty film in it for three days because I refuse to wash it more than twice a week.  It’s an exhausting ordeal for an already exhausting ordeal.  In other words: NO. THANK YOU.

This post is spiraling all to hell.  Cuz next is the Julep nail polish in Hartleigh, and I’ve already given it away.  It’s such a cutesy little thing though, what with all it’s glitter and hearts and sparkles and such.  But if I can’t tolerate polishing my nails with a normal nail polish, why would I dive right in with a polish with chunky bits in it that threatens my OCD with every swipe?  Cuz if you’ve ever used polish with bits in it, you know those bits don’t lay down and behave themselves.  They go wherever they want to, and sometimes they want to lay ON TOP of other bits and leave naked spots with no bits, and if you suffer with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, you’ve got the hives right now like nobody’s business.  Breathe.

But having said all that, if you adore polishes like this, I’m sure you’ll love Hartleigh.  It really is a pretty “color” and would make a lovely topcoat for someone with more patience and less mental illness than me.

Let’s try to stay positive, shall we?  This Teadora Rainforest at Dawn exfoliating bar soap seems promising.  Yes, it falls under the “necessities” category, but I’ve already decided I’m not going to use it as a body wash.  It’s my new foot wash.  Spring is coming and then there’s summer, so I need my heels to be soft like baby skin.  Also the pinky toe that pokes out the side of my strappy shoes because it’s too itty bitty to stay put inside – it needs a little TLC too.  Not only that, but my big toe dries out easily in the summer because it’s the one sitting in the peep toe for all the world to see.  I’m thinking this soap, because it exfoliates with its clay ingredients and acai seeds, should do me some good.  In preparation for my first use, I have purchased a turquoise peacock soap dish home for it.  Hopefully I love it cuz that dish cost me $12.  Don’t worry; I’ll let you know.

Last item in the box is the most adorable little thing.  It’s a Royal Apothic Tinties lip butter in the shade Pink, and it comes in this precious tiny pot that I’d swear was pulled from the pocket of some mystical Indian princess. It’s lovely. As for the lip balm, welllll, it’s lip balm. Nothing wrong with it, but it’s pretty basic. This is one of those cases where you’re judging a book by it’s cover. You own it cuz it’s pretty, not because the lip balm has magical transforming powers. Or at least on my lips, it doesn’t. I’m still glad I own it though. Because packaging will suck me in, even if I know there’s a dog turd inside. Cuz I need that beribboned box with Eiffel Towers stamped all over it, dontcha know?

Okay, gang, that’s it. I just opened my mailbox and my March Glossybox has already arrived. So, what perfect timing. I’m going to make a better effort this month with my blogging, I promise. Next up: an Empties post. Just giving you heads-up in case you need to cancel some plans.

Glossybox | January 2015


I got three packages delivered yesterday, and I tried to sneak them into the house without my husband seeing.  I failed.  I think he must hear me open the front door then come running into the room cuz he knows I’m about to bring in an armful of boxes and he likes giving stink eye.  Granted, three packages in one day isn’t my record.  I’ve hauled in seven before.  Someone needs to take away my internet.

Here’s my Glossybox:


Glossybox is on the ball this month.  I barely finished reviewing December’s box when January’s box was shipped out.  I’m like, Glossybox? Is that you?  You know, because they are usually the very last box to arrive, sometimes into the following month, which irritates a lot of people.  And because of the nature of the products in the box, I’ve sampled everything already so I can give you actual reviews instead of bullshit like normal.  How’s that for a Happy Friday? (Amazing.)

I love it when you run out of a product on one day then receive a replacement in one of your boxes the very next day.  That has A) saved me a trip to Walmart and therefore B) counts as saving money.  Karma at work, people.  Headed to Sephora now.  BRB.

So got this Kueshi Pure & Clean Revitalizing Face Toner.  Toners are always the least exciting of any skin care regime.  I mean, it’s a bottle of liquid.  Not much can be said for it.  However, according to Glossybox’s handy dandy little product card, this is a beauty secret from Spain.  From Spain.  So now you want it.  But also, it controls shine and softens dry spots – that’s a dual action, multi-tasking miracle.  Of course, I don’t know if any of that is true, but the smell of this toner is spectacular.  Smells luscious and juicy – like a peach, maybe, but probably not meant to be a peach.  It’s hard to put a finger on it exactly, but it’s nice.  Oh so very nice.  I would buy this again and again based on the smell.  Probably not the smartest way to go about picking a skin care product, but it beats choosing it based on packaging (which I also do).

I received a little sample of the Skin & Co Truffle Therapy Serum, which I have previously reviewed in a past Empties post that you can read here.  For those of you too lazy to click something with your one finger (I mean, I understand), I’ll give you the short version:  it has a thin consistency; kind of sticky as it dries down, but then afterwards your face is very soft; and it smells kind of coconutty instead of mushroomy.  I enjoyed it very much.  For $80, I bygod better have.

My favorite thing in the box is this absolutely adorable stiff flat eyeshadow brush from Teeez Trendy.  I’m never upset for getting a brush in my box, but this is the first time a brush has wowed me.  It’s different from anything I own.  The bristles are very dense and stiff, and I feel like it deposits a nice, controlled amount of eyeshadow exactly where you want it.  Or if you want it to blur out some stubborn edges, it is “rough” enough to get the job done.  I would say it’s similar to the Sigma E25 or MAC 217 (look at me with my cool brush lingo), but still it’s not the same.  And the handle is cute as a button, which I’ve cleverly disguised behind the serum tube because I take product pictures like a boss.

I was a little indifferent about receiving the Vichy Purete Thermale 3-in-1 Cleanser because I’m overloaded with cleanser samples right now and I figured I wouldn’t get to it for ages. But for the sake of this review, I went ahead and tried it so I could tell you my thoughts. And, omg. Okay, first, it’s not a cleanser in a cleansing sort of way (like I originally thought). It’s a makeup remover. It is a cleansing milk and removes mascara both (plus tones your skin, but I don’t care about that part). Now, as a cleansing milk it performs about like any other cleansing milk I’ve ever used. But as an eye makeup remover – holy moly. This got my mascara off like some serious voodoo magic. I could literally feel it melting underneath my fingertips. And afterwards, my lashes were left so soft and wispy clean. I’m so happy about it right now.

I’ve used the product twice, and the first time I was trying to do face and eyes all at once. Don’t do that. Just do eyes first, then face. Your eyes need total concentration and all your attention. I squirted the product on the tip of my fingers then rubbed them together before putting it on my eye. Trust me; I learned my lesson on that. Last time I put a cream directly on my eye, I gave myself some kind of pink-eye scenario and had to go to work with no eyeshadow and mascara for an entire week. Yes, you can only imagine what that looked like (not good). So once you apply the product, rub your fingers lightly in a circular motion in one direction until you are satisfied the mascara is gone. Didn’t take much effort which is my ideal amount of effort to exude. In fact, if it could take any less effort, someone else would be doing it for me.

Last product in the box was this Lollipops eyeliner in the shade Goodbye Moon. This is a creamy retractable pencil and it glided on nice and neat. But it wasn’t anything more special than any of my other eyeliners, and I still love my Sumita one best. However, if you just wanna own something with cheetah print packaging, I’d say go ahead and buy this. If anyone understands that mentality, it’s me. The color stayed in my waterline pretty good, although I had to wipe the wetness off with a Q-tip first. But I’ve found that trick works on most eyeliners, even the bad ones.

That’s all for now. My iPad has 23% life left right now, and I’m only on level 84 on Candy Crush Soda Saga. I have a var var busy night ahead of me as you can clearly see. More tomorrow, lovies!

Glossybox | December 2014


Happy new year everyone!  We made it to 2015 and we did it TOGETHER.  So officially you’ve entered into a legally binding contract and you are not allowed to leave me.  Like ever.  Bwahahahahahahaha!  (Just kidding;  you love it here.)  Plus, if I didn’t have you guys there would be no reason for me to buy and try 27 different mascaras all at once.  Therefore, technically, I can’t leave you either.

Here’s my Glossybox:


When I saw that I was getting this Bellapierre lipstick, my first thought was ugh, RED.  I’m not sure how red became the signature color for December, but let me declare officially that not everyone in the universe wears red lipstick for the holidays.  Maybe if you are famous and go to a lot of Hollywood parties.  Or maybe you are Taylor Swift.  But a normal, average, every day girl like me can’t be bothered to A) wear red lipstick for 31 days straight and B) get out of pajamas long enough to go somewhere fancy.  But in an effort to write a proper review, I wore this lipstick (shade: Burlesque) for a total of 2 hours and here are my thoughts:  it is not red, but more of a pink-red.  The texture is creamy; the finish is glossy.  I didn’t hate it.

Hopefully that sums it up for most of you.  I’m going to go ahead and keep it for a minute to see if I end up using it again.  It may live in the Train Case of Forgotten Makeup for the next 7 years, but I suppose you never know.  I do leave my house occasionally.

Got a full-size Toni & Guy Prep leave-in conditioner, and surprisingly I’m okay about that.  I can handle hair products if they come in the form of a leave-in conditioner.  What I don’t prefer is weird hair oils, gel things or root-lifters.  I can never apply the appropriate amount of any of those things and so I end up with dirty, scummy hair.  Plus, when your entire hair routine consists of two steps (blow dry, straighten), using a lot of products makes zero sense.

I have not used this yet.  I am finishing up another leave-in conditioner that I’ve been working on for probably (almost) a year.  Nearing the end (I think – things seems to replicate themselves once I believe I’m about to be done with it), so I’ll get on this soon.  Reviews seem pretty positive; most people said it smelled nice and that it tamed frizz.  Both of those are pretty important to me, so I’m hoping for the best.

Always excited about a good mask, so I’m happy to try this Nuxe Crème Fraiche one.  First of all, they sent a full-size tube valued at $32 which is a great deal considering the box is only $21.  If you’re doing the math, it seems to me that I’ve inadvertently saved money.  Pretty sure that deserves a fancy reward.  Probably gonna buy a Gucci eyeshadow to celebrate.  Because saving $11 to spend $65 makes perfect sense.  I know y’all are nodding your heads in complete agreement, otherwise you may have stumbled across this blog by accident.

This mask is made for all skin types although I would say dry skin would get the most benefit.  My skin is not dry anymore, so not sure what that means for me in terms of effectiveness.  However, Nuxe is made in France so this renders that point MOOT.  Other reviews mention a nice honeysuckle smell (one of my favorites in the entire world) and it plays well with sensitive skin.  Instructions say to apply a nice layer and let it sit for 10 minutes, then rub in the rest of the product until absorbed.  It’s the Lazy Woman’s (i.e., me) perfect mask.  You don’t even need to get off the couch to wash it off.

I haven’t used a hand scrub in light years.  Last time was probably in 2008 and it was a BeautiControl one, back when I thought being one of their sales reps was a good idea (it wasn’t; jobs like that are not for the unmotivated).  So figured it might be kind of fun to get back into it every once in a while.  The Rituals Miracle Scrub is a nice, gentle scrub that will most definitely soften dry hands.  I’m only gonna assume it will also soften dry feet, which is how I think I’m going to actually use this product since my hands aren’t that dry.  I mean, they are princess hands.  They type and they click the check out button.  That’s about it.

Last item in the box is a Ciate nail polish in the color Humbug.  This is a Christmas edition color, so I’m not sure how long the link to the product will be valid. As of right now this very second, you can buy one.  After right now this very second, it’s a crapshoot.  Regardless, you all know how I feel about nail polish.  If you times that by a billion, that’s how I feel about glitter nail polish.  Yes, the glitter looks very pretty and comely in the bottle.  But unless you have a chisel and sand paper, I have no interest in spending my life away trying to remove glitter nail polish.  Not saying this particular Ciate one is like that (since I didn’t try it), but the description says it’s “chunky” – and when has “chunky” ever described anything you wanted?  Unless it is chunky chocolate chips,  I can’t think of any other valid thing.

Alright, gang.  I’m out for now.  Thanks for spending a few moments with me.  Stay tuned for December Empties coming up in the next day or two.  You’re exited.  (Yes, you are.)

Glossybox | November 2014


I finally broke down and bought proper trouser socks to go with my dress shoes for work.  I am not a child and am quite aware you aren’t allowed to wear orange and green polka dot socks with a navy sweater.  I can’t say the trouser socks are breaking any fashion barriers or anything, but at least they are black and match everything.

Look, it’s my Glossybox:


This is one of the best boxes they’ve sent.  I will use every single thing in here – even the nail polish, although probably just once.  Hooray for Christmas miracles!  Let’s begin.

I will never turn my back on skin care.  So receiving the Juice Beauty Green Apple Age Defy moisturizer is a welcomed sight.  I’ve used one of the green apple products before – a mask – and it doesn’t particularly smell like green apples.  So I’m expecting the moisturizer to be the same.  I suppose the green apple isn’t necessarily a scent-thing but more an acid-thing because it’s loaded with alphas and betas that will help brighten your skin and get rid of discoloration.  This is perfect for me.  As I’ve mentioned before, I am plagued with hyperpigmentation (i.e., old pimple scars).  I have a cluster of it right on my cheek which makes looks me look like I’ve been sweeping chimneys for 8 hours.  If I was nine years old, I know my mama’d be coming after me with her magic cleaning thumb.  It’s not dirt, people; I don’t need a spit-polish.

Long story short, I’d be nice if this moisturizer works.  We shall see.

I’ve owned the 12 Benefits hair treatment in the past, and it’s my absolute favorite leave-in product ever.  I can spray this all over my hair and never worry about it feeling scummy or weighed down after it’s dried.  I have been meaning to buy the full-size, but I keep getting all these ho-hum samples from my boxes that I’m making an effort to use up.  Since I technically paid for all of them.  Being responsible isn’t always the most fun.

In case you’re curious, the 12 benefits of 12 Benefits are: seals hair color, smooths frizz, repairs damage, prevents split ends, moisturizes, strengthens, prevents flat iron/chlorine/wind/sun damage, adds shine/softness, protects from blow drying, improves detangling, and maintains youthfulness.  Doesn’t that all sound amazing?  It does, and now you want it.  Put it in your basket.

Received an OPI nail polish in custom shade called Pink Outside the Glossybox.  Isn’t that clever?  Even so, I don’t wanna keep it.  It matches the Glossybox boxes perfectly, though.  However, it’s just a basic pink in my eyes.  I think I will use it maybe this weekend, take a selfie for posterity, and then give it away to my daughter.  It’s all in the spirit of Christmas.

I was super excited to see the So Susan universal blush in my box.  I have never heard of this brand, which is the number one reason I subscribe to beauty boxes: trying new brands.  The packaging of the blush is pretty boring, but the color is really lovely.  And then I realized it’s one of those self-adjusting blushes that will change to suit your skin tone.  What kind of voodoo magical witchcraft is this?!  I don’t know about you, but I would buy it simply for this fact alone.

I have been wearing it for a couple days, and I feel like the color is very flattering.  A pretty mauve-y pink.  It’s very pigmented as well so be careful.  I over applied the first time, and it was less flattering more prostitute-y.  I was much more deliberate the next time and it fared much better.  This may very well be in the top tier of all my blushes.  And I have a lot, so that’s saying something.

Last thing in the box is a Kneipp Herbal Bath in Balancing Lavender.  I’ve always wanted to do something like this.  How extra special Princessy!  Who doesn’t want to lounge in a bath with the smell of lavender all around you?  Maybe people who don’t like the smell of lavender, but other than that, I can imagine everyone doing it.  This particular one helps combat fatigue and gives you peace of mind and other Zen-like things.  If that’s not your thing, though, there are other scents for muscle aches, sleep deprivation, energy, stress, even cold and flu.  So I think I’m gonna give this a try over the weekend and I’ll report back how it went.  If I manage to slither my way out of the bathtub, that is.  I can do Princess Time like it’s my damn job.  As well it should be.  I’m var var good at it.

All done and now I’m starving.  Time for snacks.  Possibly a nap.  Most definitely pajamas.  See ya tomorrow friends.


Glossybox | October 2014


Hi boo boos.  It’s Wednesday.  Halfway to pajamas, so I can barely concentrate.  Figured it would be a good time to review a box, you know, while I’m feeling my most professional.

Here’s Glossybox:


Well.  I am not loving this one.  Like there isn’t one thing in here that excites me.  I’ll use two of the products, but even those are mediocre.  I’d excuse this behavior if you are a $10 box, but you are not.  You are a $21 box and therefore must be fabulous at all times.  Do I need to be in charge over there?  CEO at the minimum.

Okay, first mediocre thing is this Tarte Power Pigment lip crayon in the color Flush.  Hold your wet noodles; let me explain.  The product is fine.  It goes on pretty smooth. Has a bit of a waxy texture, but that doesn’t bother me.  Leaves your lips feeling pepperminty and cool.  Plus the skinny tip gives you a more precise application.  But it’s hot pink.  I do not enjoy hot pink.  Regular pink, yes.  Hot pink can sit back down.  I just feel it’s super flashy looking with my skin tone.  Probably no one else would agree, but if I can’t be my own worse critic, what is the point of life?  I ask you, WHAT. IS. THE. POINT.  Now, if I would’ve gotten a mauve or a dark coral, maybe even a brownish nude, this entire blog post wouldn’t suck as bad as it’s about to.

Sheet masks.  These things make you work for it.  I have nothing against the one I got – Sesha Botanical Hydro Mask – but the instructions are as follows:

1)  Remove pre-cut mask from envelope and place over clean face with moist side of mask facing downward.  2)  Smooth mask over face starting with the nose area, then peel off plastic backing.  3)  Leave on for 15-30 minutes.  4)  Remove mask and gently wipe off remaining residue (no need to rinse).

Omg, are you tired yet?  Cuz I am.  That’s a lot of messing around for something that doesn’t quite give me the satisfaction level I get from a standard mask.  And perhaps you are saying to yourself that these instructions aren’t really that big a deal, and that I could quite possibly be the biggest baby/complainer/annoyance that ever lived.  But I say to you, NO!  I am the biggest lazy person that ever lived, and that is var var different.  In fact, if someone could just come into my bathroom and apply my mask on for me, that would be ideal.  And while they’re at it, go ahead and bathe me.  I seriously just want to lay there and nap.

Why am I not a princess?! Hmmmpf.

But back to the mask.  This one is for soothing and calming the skin and gives you instant hydration.  The hyaluronic acid in it binds itself to water and helps maintain moisture within your skin.  That’s SCIENCE, people.  So you may enjoy this mask.  I think I’ll use it tomorrow maybe.  Then I’ll let you know my true thoughts in a future Empties post.

Now I’m not saying the Nails Inc Matte top coat is useless and stupid.  It’s just I already own one by OPI.  How many matte top coats do you need?  I’d say just one, but maybe I’m not the one to ask.  If you’ve never used a matte top coat, the Nails Inc would be just as good as any, and you definitely need one in your collection.  It really does do a cool effect on your nails.  I haven’t done it for at least a year – which proves my theory that you don’t need more than one matte top coat – so I might have to do it again soon.  I just don’t think about it when I’m doing my nails, as you know nail polish isn’t at the top of my list of favorites.  Although I can appreciate something pretty and unique.  Long story short – buy this if you don’t already have something like it.

And of course, we must now take a drastic downhill turn.  I got the Vince Camuto Amore perfume, which by itself is probably just lovely, but have I mentioned before how much I don’t use perfume?  A few times, maybe.  Or at the very minimum, in every single post I write.  Yes, I’m a broken record when it comes to perfume.  I never ever ever keep it.  I wish beauty boxes would do an “opt out” for perfume, so I can gladly check that box and then receive something more fabulous in its place.  However, I am not in charge, which is a damn shame.  Seriously, would it kill anybody to make me CEO?  Would it?  I mean, except for having savvy business sense or math skills, I’d be a pretty good one.

Just to be fair, though, let me describe the smell:  fruity and floral at the top with cashmere, amber and sandalwood at the base.  Does that mean anything to anybody?  Nope, me either.  It doesn’t stink.  How about that?

Last item in the box is a definite regift.  It’s the Proganix Volume Root Boost.  What am I supposed to do with this?  I don’t wash my hair more than twice a week; I don’t need to be putting in root booster to muck up my hair faster than normal.  I’m perfectly fine with just blow drying upside down to give me a lift.  Everytime I’ve used a root spray, I’ve turned my hair into a greasy, sticky, scummy mess and that’s not an exaggeration.  So I’m passing on this one, even though it could be my dream come true, but who has time to experiment?  I’m not washing my hair twice in one day if things don’t work out.  Not even taking a chance.

Who’s the best blogger/product reviewer of all time?  This girl.

The good news is that my friend loves root lifters, this seems to be a full-size product, and so my best friend score just shot up by the millions.  In my opinion.  She may be like, thanks for the $12 bottle of spray.  And carry on with her life like NBD.

Well, you’ve reached the end of yet another exciting and informative post.  Hope it was worth your time, and if not, then you need to reassess your life.  Toodles!

Glossybox | September 2014


Vegas is almost happening.  I’m barely paying attention to life.  Probably wise not to ask me any important questions that need a sincere answer until AFTER next week.  You know, just to be safe.

To tide you over, here’s Glossybox:


You know how I’ve mentioned I want to own all the things, right?  Wellll, it’s true.  So I didn’t have anything from Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics, and I simply could not have that.  During the summer I bought my first (and only) OCC Lip Tar Metallic in the shade Black Dahlia.  Fast forward a few months when Glossybox does a spoiler and shows us we will be getting an OCC Lip Tar in our September boxes.  Well, how nice!  Seems like they will be sending out one of two colors – a coppery orange called Authentic or a dark burgundy metallic called … Black Dahlia.  Ummmmm, excuse me, whaaaaa?  Whyyyyeeeee?  Out of all the colors OCC offers, I have a 50/50 chance of getting the same one I already own.  Those are terrible odds.  Do you know how many times I’ve had a 50/50 chance happening and it go awry?  Like, they always choose the guy I don’t like on The Bachelorette even though it is QUITE CLEAR who her true soulmate is.  Sooooooooooo frustrating.

But anyway, I received the coppery orange color so this entire story doesn’t matter.

If you haven’t tried a Lip Tar before, you need to go find one stat.  Nicely pigmented – some insanely so – and a little goes a very long way.  Your $18 investment will last you a lifetime, and that’s probably not much of an exaggeration.  I love how it comes with a little brush.  What feels more glamourous than applying your lipstick with a brush?  Maybe having a necklace put on you by a Prince. But after that?  Not much.

Again, a subscription box decides to send out a conditioner with no matching shampoo.  Is this a new trend I am unaware of?  Are we mismatching shampoos and conditioners now?  I’m sorry, I don’t think my OCD can deal. That’s like reading book 1 and 2 of Hunger Games, but leaving out book 3.  You cannot start Hunger Games and then NOT FINISH Hunger Games.  Everyone knows that.

Regardless, here is the Bvlgari hair conditioner.  It’s has a light au the Vert perfume scent, and it has been suggested to use this conditioner when you don’t feel like applying actual perfume.  I never feel like applying perfume, but I also never feel like applying conditioner without it’s shampoo counterpart.  So pretty much my only option at this point is shaving cream.  I’m open to other ideas, however, if anyone has found alternate uses for rogue bottles of conditioner.

Received the Vichy Liftactiv Night Cream, which makes me happy. I used another Vichy moisturizer several months back, and I absolutely loved it. Scored high on texture marks, which is basically all that matters to me. Well, that and it’s from France. As soon as I get back from my Vegas trip, I will start in on it, then let you know all about it in my October empties post. (Get excited.)

Got another tube of the Benefit They’re Real mascara. I’m not opposed to this, as it’s fantastic mascara. In fact, it’s the #1 best selling prestige brand mascara in the country. Certainly that holds clout with some people? I mean, it does me. If you’re a best seller, award winner or heavily hyped, you could be a jar of slug trail for all I care. I want you anyway. I’m very discerning in that way. (Also shallow.) (Probably.)

Last product in the box is an
Essie nail polish in the shade Madison Ave-Hue. Can’t say I’m overly thrilled about receiving this item, but it is a pretty unique color of pink and therefore I have decided to keep it. Yes, I make up my own conditions to my own rules. I hope you’re jotting this down in a notebook. There may be a quiz later.

I feel it may be important to note that if you’re gonna love a nail polish, Essie is a safe way to go. I’ve used a few of their colors, and have liked the brand very much, aside from the fact it’s nail polish and I don’t enjoy nail polish. That’s pretty much high praise if you ask me. Which you did subconsciously, otherwise, I’d be reading YOUR blog, wearing pajamas and not suffering from the twinges of carpal tunnel that only 132 posts can bring about.

Well that’s it, guys. I’m gonna try to do one more post before my trip then most likely it’ll be dark in here til I get back. A good time if any to reread this blog from start to finish. Toodles!