Aug8

Empties | July 2014

Posted on by
Standard

Every month I keep thinking I’m not going through that many products, that my little trash stash under the sink doesn’t look very full.  But when I get around to finally dumping it out on the floor so I can organize and photograph it, it looks like some crazy person’s been hoarding their garbage for about 30 days or so.

Huh.

Well, anyway.  Here’s my empties.  Let’s do hair first:

20140802-150842-54522679.jpg

The EVOLVh shampoo and conditioner set was just alright.  It arrived when I had about one day left in my other shampoo and conditioner, so it served it’s purpose of not making me run errands on a Wednesday after work.  For that reason alone, I was appreciative.  However, there was nothing special about this stuff.  It smelled pretty good.  That’s about it.  I did not get supermodel riding on the back of a horse along the coastline of a beach kind of hair.  And that’s a darn shame.  Have you seen me on a horse?  Stunning.

The Davine’s Love Shampoo fared better.  I actually almost bought the full size until I realized it cost $24 and I reconsidered my true feelings. Do I like it? Yes. But do I love it? Mmmmmm … not $24 worth of love. Plus when you don’t have the matching conditioner, the shampoo on its own is pretty much no frills. My hair was ultra smoothie when I used both, but only quasi smoothie when it was shampoo solo. And normally I don’t do shampoo solo but someone (Birchbox) gave me a one-time-use conditioner packet so I was forced into it. I do not recommend this method. The two together are a dream. So next them you have $50 handy, put these in your basket.

Speaking of DO NOT RECOMMEND I got this little sample of Dove Oxygen Moisture shampoo. I’m not sure if the moisture aspect of this was a mistake or just pure arrogance, but this stuff dried out my ends and did quite literally the opposite of moisture. Not even sure how that’s possible. I’d contemplate this further, but I am so very bored now.

Face things:

20140802-150845-54525083.jpg

I really wanted to love the Caudalie Polyphenol C15 serum. I tried hard y’all. But unfortunately, it wasn’t in me. It was a texture issue. It did not feel good on my face. Was not soft, was not special, was not worth my time. Thankfully it was free.

However, everyone else in the world loves this stuff so don’t listen to me. Apparently I am an idiot.

But then I got this Flash Facial from Sonya Dakar, and I was rendered literally speechless.  I have never used a product quite like this one.  I wasn’t sure what to expect other than what I was supposed to do – apply to face, leave on for a minute, then wipe off using circular motions.  I knew my dead skin was supposed to ball up and flake off and that I would be left with a brand new face.  But I’m not even kidding you when I say my jaw dropped to my chest.  This stuff WORKS.  I had the most radiant, softest skin afterwards, and I knew immediately I had to own the full size.

$95?!  Dangit.  So I’m currently searching for a dupe.  If anyone has any suggestions, please comment and save me some money.  Or else you may gift me the full size.  I have told you it’s my month-long 40th birthday celebration, haven’t I?  Welllll, it is.

Last product is the Lancer Eye Contour Lifting Cream.  I liked the texture of this eye cream very much.  It was thick enough to really set in, but not so thick where it left behind a sticky residue.  I feel like it moisturized the area pretty well.  However, I used this for roughly a month and couldn’t figure out what was causing my eyes to burn.  Was it the new serum I was using?  The moisturizer?  After doing some investigating (in the form of a very scientific process of elimination), it’s been determined that it was the eye cream culprit.  Well, that’s a bummer isn’t it?  Except it costs almost $100 so I wouldn’t have bought more of it anyway.  Sometimes things just work out.

Now for makeup:

20140802-150844-54524270.jpg

If you want to feel like a fancy lady, grab a pack of these Tatcha blotting papers.  They are exquisite.  Then be sad when they are gone and try to placate yourself with a pack of NYX papers which will not even come close to the same.  So I’m at that crossroads where I turn right and buy 30 Tatcha papers for $12 or turn left and buy 50 NYX papers for $3.99.  Or maybe go straight and buy 100 Boscia papers for $10.  Aaaack! I can’t decide.  If the Tatcha wasn’t so good, this would not be much of a dilemma.

On another note, there’s a math problem in there if you are so inclined.

Look at my sad little Pixi bronzer.  I actually hit pan on this and used it for another few weeks afterwards.  Then I had a wee makeup avalanche, and it ended up in a billion pieces.  Kind of sad because I hate throwing away things that aren’t empty, but there’s no way in hell I was gonna spend 15 hours trying to press this back together with rubbing alcohol.  Do I have that kind of time?  For other things, yes (pajamas, couch, bed, lazing), but for tedious arts and craft projects, NO.

Aside from all that, I liked the bronzer.  It had some shimmer in it, but it didn’t bother me.  And it was my favorite up until I started using the Too Faced Chocolate Soliel.  I probably won’t repurchase because of that.

Look at that cute, itty bitty Benefit Fake Up concealer.  It’s pretty precious if you ask me.  I haven’t heard much about this concealer, but it was a Sephora freebie so figured why not.  It’s a clear moisturizer stick with a concealer core.  And I absolutely loved it.  Went on very smooth, blended like a dream, and moisturized my under eye like nobody’s business.  I’m trying desperately to finish up my other concealers before I buy the full size, but my fingers are starting to get clicky.  And once that clicky feeling hits me, sometimes I end up buying things from Korea at 3 a.m.  So pray for me, k?

The Laura Mercier Foundation Primer is not empty.  It’s probably about 1/2 full or so.  However, I didn’t realize there was only a 6 month expiration date on it, and I wasn’t sure what would happen to my face if I used it past its freshness date.  So to be safe (and avoid any face-falling-off sort of scenarios), I’ve decided to pitch it.  However, it wasn’t my most favorite primer anyway.  Not bad by any means, but it felt like just plain moisturizer not anything special like the Laura Geller Spackle or the Benefit That Gal.  And even though it hurt my heart a little to not finish the tube, I consoled myself with the 15 other primers in my stash.  Don’t worry – I’ll be okay.

If you suffer from enormously large pores like me, then the L’Oreal Youth Code Texture Perfector Pore Vanisher will be your BFF.  It’s similar to the Benefit POREfessional, but it’s also different.  Instead of the silicone feel you get with Benefit, this one has more of a gel texture, although looking at the ingredients you can clearly see it’s made of silicone.  Regardless, it just feels nice, for lack of a better word.  Also, I’ve been typing for several hours (seems like), so fancy words are hard to come by at this point.

Now I seriously have large pores – that’s not me being a typical overly dramatic woman.  They are colossal, bottomless holes.  Okay, that might be dramatic.  But still.  Large pores, nonetheless.  This stuff truly does blur them out.  Now, don’t get all excited thinking you’re going to walk away from your makeup mirror looking like a 13-year-old girl, but it does help somewhat.  And if you have minimal pores, but you’d still like to blur them, I bet this would work even better.  I’m definitely repurchasing.  It may be 100% psychological brain trickery, but I liked it.

One product I wasn’t too keen on was this Sonia Kashuk lip liner.  I can only speak for the nude pink shade I got because it’s the color payoff I had trouble with.  It barely showed up on my lips, almost as if I didn’t put any liner on at all.  I’m not really sure how much of a complaint that is depending on what you would want out of a lip liner, but I personally prefer some color.  I ended up tossing this because I got another nude pink liner (from Starlooks) that works way better and I needed to free up some storage space.

Lord, are we done?!

No.  Here’s some moisturizer:

20140802-150843-54523484.jpg

That dadgum Pur-Lisse Pur Moist moisturizer haunts me forever.  If you’ve been reading my blog for awhile, you will know this is only like my 6th or 7th tube.  Not by choice, let me make that clear.  Virtually every beauty box I’ve subscribed to has sent me this moisturizer.  It’d be alright if it was the world’s best moisturizer, then I would have lots of it that I could hug and kiss and hoard like a crazy person.  But instead it’s just a basic moisturizer that I couldn’t give two spits about.  I mean, it’s fine.  It does the job.  It smells decent.  There’s not really anything to hate.  I’m just tired of looking at it.  I did use the entire tube – well, within maybe an inch or so – and by doing so I feel as if I’ve accomplished the impossible.  Yes, I’m comparing finishing this moisturizer to climbing Mt Everest because to me, it’s pretty much the same dang thing.

One moisturizer that I did love and would be perfectly fine in receiving duplicate tubes of is the H2O+ Oxygenating Rejuvenator.  This stuff just felt so good going on the skin.  It’s a gel consistency, it wasn’t thick, it wasn’t sticky, it was the perfect moisturizer for me.  One of these days I’m going to settle on a skincare routine, and this quite possibly might be the one.  Strictly on a texture basis, mind you.  Cuz honestly, if it works actual skincare wonders I have no idea.  I mean, a week’s worth of product isn’t enough to perform miracles.  However, if texture is your main thing anyway, then you should go ahead and put this in your basket.  (Cuz I am the boss of you, that’s why.)

Got another H2O+ moisturizer, this time the Micro Collagen one.  I didn’t like this one as much as the other one, but it was still decent.  It had a silicone look to it and it applied nicely.  Absorbed well.  I wouldn’t hesitate a bit about using this again because it was better than a lot of the moisturizers I’ve used before.

I’m boring myself. Sorry. Let’s talk about mushrooms.

Got this Amore Pacific Future Response cream as a free sample from Sephora. It has a delightful earthy mushroom smell – or what I like to refer to as, not delightful. Apparently mushrooms have wicked anti aging benefits, but to put them on my face? Eh. Granted, it’s more of a weird smell than a gross smell and I was able to put up with it for the roughly three weeks this sample lasted me. But let me reiterate that it WAS NOT DELIGHTFUL. They could’ve tossed a handful of flowers in the batter at least.

Finished off another tub of Josie Maran body butter. This time it’s the Vanilla Apricot scent, and it smells much better than the Sweet Citrus. Sweet Citrus has a slight hint of skunk and grass, and you have to convince yourself it’s grapefruit before it actually begins to smell like grapefruit. But the Vanilla Apricot is delicious right away, and no effort is to be made other than applying it to your body. That’s a successful body butter just so you know.

Last batch of goodies. It’s cleansers:

20140802-150845-54525888.jpg

If you’re in the market for some decent, but no frills, cleansing cloths, then give the Michael Todd Skin Loving wipes a try. These smell like cucumber, aren’t overly moist (good thing or bad – you decide) and will refresh your face first thing in the morning. I probably won’t repurchase (I got them free to begin with) simply because I’d like to continue trying different kinds.

I’ve been slowly working my way through my hoard of cleanser samples. I wasn’t a huge fan of the Evologie Stay Clear. It’s made for acne prone skin, which I don’t have, so maybe that is why I didn’t love it. My skin felt kind of tight after using it, and there wasn’t anything that special about it. Thankfully there was only about a week’s worth of product in it, so I checked it off my to-do list rather quickly.

Another cleanser that almost put me right to sleep was the Iluminage Skin Prep. I can’t even tell you anything worth remembering about this cleanser other than it had a pearly sheen to it. Is that enough to make you wanna buy it? Perhaps if you are easily distracted by sheen-y things; otherwise, NO. Especially not for it’s $25 price tag.

Tried a new style of eye makeup remover, a gel one to be exact. The Mario Badescu eye makeup remover gel is rather decent stuff. Plus I got pretty good at applying goop straight on my eyelids, and only got it in my eye just 20 or 30 times. But most importantly, this removed my mascara very gently without too many eyelash losing situations like I tend to get with my liquid removers. Could be user error there, I don’t know. Regardless, I lost less eyelashes and that made me var var happy. I will repurchase for sure.

Last thing – yes, we’ve made it at last – is the REN makeup remover. I used this like a cleansing milk, even though it doesn’t say it’s milk anywhere on the packaging. But the texture is similar, maybe even better, than a cleansing milk so perhaps I’ve reinvented the cleansing milk? Yes, probably.

That’s it. We are finally done. Like kaput, finito. If you are reading this, you’re amazing. Thank you for sticking around even during the boring parts. Later, lovies.

Aug1

Buying Stuff: Eyeshadow Edition

Posted on by
Standard

Welcome to August!  Otherwise known as My Month-Long Birthday Celebration!  Therefore, everything below is immediately and forevermore JUSTIFIED.  Because if you’re that person who can deny a girl her birthday treats, then how can we ever be friends?  It’s nigh on impossible.

So here’s a bunch of eyeshadow stuffs for you to love:

20140716-224537-81937181.jpg

That’s the Bare Minerals Ready Eyeshadow 2.0 in the shade The Vision.  I have never tried Bare Minerals eyeshadows before, and can I just say how lovely they are?  I probably shouldn’t have gotten started now because do you know how many colors they have?  Like eons worth.  This particular one has a mint blue/green on the left (you know, the one completely washed out by my camera), and a duo chrome teal blue/brown/green collab on the right.  They go on very smooth, color shows up brilliantly, and they blend out like a dream.  I heart them so much!  Pretty sure I’ll be picking up a few more of these very very soon.  Or else someone needs to be gifting these to me like stat.  Have I mentioned this is my month-long birthday celebration?  Wellll, it is.

And then comes this thing:

20140716-224534-81934778.jpg

If you don’t know what palette this is, then you have been camping in the Siberian Wilderness for far too long.  It’s the Too Faced Chocolate Bar, and I’m about 97.95746% certain I’m the last person in the world to own it.  Well, except for the cavewomen and nomads.  But after them, definitely the last.

I went back and forth for months deciding if I should or should not buy it.  At first glance, other than the obvious few colors, it looks like a bunch of brown eyeshadows.  And I didn’t need a palette full of brown eyeshadow.  However, my sister got it, then my best friend got it, and then I started to feel like I was missing out.  Fiiiiiiinnne. I bought you.

And now I love you.  Dammit.

This palette is officially one of my most favorite ones.  The colors are beautiful, and I can actually get quite a few looks out of it despite all the brown.  And honestly, the browns are very different from one another anyway – much more different that I initially thought.  There’s a mix of shimmers, mattes and glitters and every last one of them smells like chocolate.  Not fake, artifically flavored chocolate, but real cocoa powder.  I don’t know if that’s the green light to go on and eat the dang thing, but I guarantee someone’s dipped their finger in and took a lick.  And don’t be looking at me like I’m guilty cuz I have too much hypochondria in my brain to be sticking my tongue in eyeshadow.

Here’s the result of some late night YouTubing:

20140716-224535-81935552.jpg

Good lord.  Did I need this?

(Yes.  The answer to that question is always yes.)

This is the Tarina Tarantino Floriculture palette. First of all, your eyes are not deceiving you.  The eyeshadow pans are ginormous.  You get a lot of value for your money with this one.  The shades are also very pretty, delicately shimmery, perfect for my old lady eye skin.  The only complaint would be the absense of a matte crease or matte highlight; however, I’m not peeved enough to never use this palette again.  Plus, the fuschia floral packaging is beautiful and looks ultra fancy sitting in the wicker basket on the back of my toilet.

It is limited edition, but I’ve been seeing it around for awhile so not sure how long it’ll still be available.  I’d say play it safe and go ahead and put it in your shopping cart immediately, because although the palette may stick around for a little longer, the apocolypse could happen any day now.  And you need this to help get you through.

Lookie, more Makeup Geek eyeshadows:

20140716-224536-81936363.jpg

These are my absolute favorite eyeshadows in all the land.  That’s not an exaggeration.  I own about 25 single pans now (all expertly arranged in my Z-Palette), and every single one of them is amazing.  I haven’t had fallout issues, blending issues, pigmentation issues.  In fact, if these were people, they’d be your best friend, your partner, your lovahhh.  Serious.  That didn’t get weird there for a second, did it?

Anyway.  I highly highly highly suggest a shopping trip to MakeupGeek.com and buy a few of these.  I challenge you not to be impressed.  Plus, for the mere price of $5.99, I can’t imagine you wouldn’t want a hundred of these.  Well, wait, that’s $600. So maybe not a hundred – at least not all at once.

On a side note:  math.  Twenty-two years since graduation, and I. STILL. GOT. IT.

Last item is this thing:

20140730-191359-69239624.jpg

I’m not sure when this debuted but I’m thinking it was just a few weeks ago.  It’s the Amrezy palette by Anastasia Beverly Hills.  Isn’t it lovely?  Those jewel tones though.  I die.  I die!  I haven’t used all the colors yet cuz it literally came in the mail two days ago.  But so far everything works great.  At first glance, I thought the Caramel shade would be too dark for my crease, but it actually went on very natural.  I’m hoping the Morocco (orange) shade is just as good.  I’m wearing the Topaz on my lid today with Deep Plum in the outer v, and I swear if Vogue isn’t calling soon, then something is wrong with Vogue.

Well, that’s it guys.  Are you tired now, cuz I am.  It’s pajama time!  Have a great weekend.

Jul31

Lip Factory | July 2014

Posted on by
Standard

Last day of the month in case you didn’t know.

I am nothing if not helpful. And best blogger in all the land.

Here’s my Lip Factory:

20140730-125702-46622233.jpg

Woah, that’s a lot of stuff! And I’m happy with EVERYTHING. This is like having the best day ever combined with winning the Power Ball combined with living inside a Sephora. I don’t even have to explain that further cuz I know y’all is going Gurrrrrl, I know.

First up are these two lip glosses from Beauty Addicts. Got a pink one and a gold one. If I had to pick my least favorite thing in the box, it would be these, simply cuz they’re just your basic lip gloss. Not bad products by any means though. The applicator is a brush which I feel amps up the fancy a notch. Also they are not sticky. My granddaughter has confiscated the gold one because for some reason at the tender age of 3 she has already cultivated a love for makeup. I have no idea how this has happened. Nope, no idea at all.

But I suppose I love these lip glosses more than I love this Ofra lip liner. Although, I did at least get a good color (baby doll pink) instead of the nude/spice/cinnamon shades I’ve been getting recently. The liner went rather well with a couple of lip products I already own, so it won’t go to waste at least. It’s not super showy uppy (shhhh, it’s a word) on my lips though. That’s the only negative thing I have to say about this lip liner. And everything else I have to say is super boring.

Next up is this really awesome lip paint by J. Cat Beauty. The application of this is very similar to the OCC Lip Tar because you need barely a pin drop. I swear, I will own this tube for the rest of my life. And because the retail price is only $4.99, that makes it practically free. I got a really pretty pink color that’s very wearable (i.e., not neon) called Blabberwocky. I’m not sure what a Blabberwocky is, but it’s obviously this color. And this color is fab.

Then there was this lip balm. I am always sort of like okeydokey about lip balm cuz usually it’s pretty boring. But once I tried the Eco Lips Eco Tints, I was like hello, honey. I feel an addiction coming on. If you like a slight peppermint tingle, soft texture, and a pretty luminous tint (mine is Rose Quartz), then you need to put this in your shopping cart. Plus it’s only $4.50 and that’s guilt free shopping, which is always allowed. Granted you probably have to order 15 of them to qualify for free shipping, but that’s beside the point.

Received a pretty summery teal green eyeshadow from Pari Beauty. This is a fairly pigmented shadow and it looks pretty good against my brown eyes. It seems matte to me, but online it says it’s a frost. I’m not sure if that’s a typo or rather I’ve not known what a true frost eyeshadow is my entire life, but the shade Eco-Friendly (#70) has almost no shimmer in it whatsoever. If that’s the definition of frost, so be it. What I do know is that it’s a nice eyeshadow. That’s not up for discussion.

Last two items are from Palladio. First one is the Brow Fix wax pencil. I like the idea of this pencil, although I may need a little training class. I tried though, I tried real hard. See, I ran this pencil through my brows, and I could feel that product was transferred. Okay, so far so good. Then I did a little spoolie brush to shape my brows to perfection. Seems alright. I went about my day thinking I had the most gloriously coifed brows in all the land – until I caught a glimpse in the mirror where my left arch was hanging straight down onto my eye skin. I’m sorry, this was not in your description. Delete delete delete.

Needless to say I’m gonna have to play around with my technique. At this point, nothing keeps my eyebrow hairs under control quite like my Anastasia Brow Gel. But I do love options, so it’d be nice if I can figure this thing out.

Last Palladio item is their Shadow & Liner Crayon in the shade Champagne. The description says it’s a soft gel formula that eliminates the need to tug or pull at the eye. Well, again, unless that’s not completely true, then I need a training class because this did not effortlessly glide across my eyeball. However, the shimmery shade was very pretty and provided a nice base for another shadow I layered on top. And if I heated this up in the microwave first it would probably apply just like butter.

Kids, please do not heat up your eyeshadow crayons in the microwave.

All in all, this box was awesome. Got lots of goodies which all will be used and appreciated. Looking forward to the next box. But then again, I’m in a constant state of that. That is why I subscribe to 11 boxes. We’ve been over this.

Toodles!

Jul30

Petit Vour | July 2014

Posted on by
Standard

The end of the month is looming. And exactly one month from today I turn 40 years old. That’s 4 decades of life if you need help counting. Eek! I’m getting old, you guys. I’m scared.

Here’s my Petit Vour:

20140728-121227-43947912.jpg

I know most beauty boxes say 4-5 products are included, but when you get just the 4, doesn’t it look like something is missing? So yes, this should be a short review. Maybe that’s a good thing since I’m forever in a state of behindedness.

First thing is this loose shimmer eyeshadow from Modern Minerals in the color Lola. Lola is a beautiful peachy coppery color. I mean so beautiful that despite my nap-inducing excitement for loose eyeshadows, I decided to keep this one. I wore it on Sunday and it’s stunning. Like crazy pretty. I applied it wet so it went on metallic but I blended it a little so it wouldn’t be too flashy. Turned out so nice I was like heyyyyy, supermodel. Then I looked around real quick to make sure no one heard me. Unless you’re Vogue, please just look away.

Perhaps the most bizarre thing I’ve gotten in quite awhile (cuz the poo drops that Blush sent several months back wins hands-down for life), is this all natural deodorant from Schmidt’s. Now, the deodorant itself isn’t bizarre necessarily, but it comes in a jar which you have to dig out with your fingers. I don’t want to touch deodorant with my fingers. Touching deodorant is almost as icky as picking macaroni and cheese out of shag carpet, which I did once in a dream and it was super gross.

That was weird. I’m sorry.

However, if you can get past that then you get the double sensory pleasure of rubbing this into your own armpits. And cuz my armpits are prickly about 2 minutes after I shave them, it’s an even greater joy. But despite the ickiness of application, this stuff smelled like limes and kept me from stinking all day. And there’s nothing poisonous in it, which is a bonus if you ask me. I may even consider repurchasing – and cross my fingers they send a tiny spatula.

I got a facial oil from Pelle Beauty and I’m okay with it. It’s a pretty small sample but I’m sure it’ll last me for weeks. I was looking on the website, and noticed there are some very specific instructions for use. You need to make sure your clean skin is VERY DAMP when applying. I don’t know if that helps with absorption or what, but since they said this you better dadgum believe this is EXACTLY what I’ll do. I don’t mess around with directions as I don’t want my face to fall off cuz I applied it wrong. However, it’s unclear if you’re supposed to use a moisturizer afterwards or not. So if you’ve been reading this blog for awhile you already know I’ve sent an email to the company for further explanation. Yes, I’m annoying.

Last product is a big o boo. Not the brand LVX, just the nail polish genre. Plus I don’t need another pale pink polish. Had they sent me a really cool lavender, maybe I would’ve kept it. But since they didn’t, it now lives with my friend in her house. Don’t worry – she will care for like a proper mommy.

Welp, I’m done for the day. Pajama time is getting closer as we speak. Bye!

Jul29

Glossybox | July 2014

Posted on by
Standard

Really trying to squeeze all these reviews in before July 31. I suppose I make it really hard for myself when I subscribe to 11 of them. Do you see the sacrifices I make for my people? DO. YOU. SEE?

I am nothing if not professional.

Here’s my Glossybox:

20140729-133318-48798847.jpg

Pretty good this month! I’ll use everything so that’s a success if you ask me. Let’s begin.

First item is a body cream from Mitchell and Peach. I have never heard of this brand but they are English and by default, adorable. I am not a huge lover of lotion but I do use it daily after bathing. This one has a slightly odd scent of honey and cocoa – not to be confused with CHOCOLATE – so it doesn’t smell as heavenly as you might expect. It may grow on me, though. I mean, it doesn’t stink or anything. It’s not a mushroom lotion, thank God.

Then I got this weird little hair toner from Philip B. I say weird because I’ve never seen a product like this – it restores the pH balance in your hair as well as detangles and controls frizz. Well, that sounds normal and all, but it’s made with apple cider vinegar. Whaaaaaa?!. I know. And then I used it and I was like yep, definitely apple cider vinegar. A little smelly, but kind of in an addictive way. Where the more you smell it the more you sorta like it. Which is good because the vinegar is unmistakeable although the website tries to convince you it smells like botanicals. Bwahahahaha.

No.

Regardless, I like this stuff and I might even repurchase, which says a lot cuz I don’t get moved very often by hair thingies.

There’s just something about the name Malin + Goetz that gets me excited. Maybe it’s the use of the plus-sign in their name. Or maybe I’m just a weirdo. Whatever the case may be, I was happy to see the little mojito lip balm. I used it immediately because I couldn’t contain my curiosity. This stuff is like a thick oil instead of a solid balm. Has a minty feeling to it but smells kind of citrusy. Is that a mojito? I don’t even know. I probably need to drink more alcohol so I can do reviews properly.

Anyway, this stuff is very soothing on the lips and lasts for a suuuuuper long time. I went to bed and it was still there the next morning, albeit a stickier version. This is the only lip balm that’s done that, so maybe it might cure my chronic peeling lip skin? I’m on a mission to find out.

There’s a little baby tube of GlamGlow in here! Got the youth mud tingle version and I’ve used it before. I did like this, although it burned my face off for about 30 seconds. Let’s just say tingle is a horribly inappropriate word. However, afterwards my face was as smooth as a velvet pillow. So half a minute of searing, torturous pain? Totally worth it. It’s also won beauty awards and famous people use it. My two favorite things. In other words = winner.

Last item in the box is the most intriguing. It is an anti aging serum by Skin Inc, and the picture I took does it no justice whatsoever. It’s a clear gel looking solution with floating tiny beads in it. Or to be completely scientific, they’re seaweed capsules. It literally looks like it came from the future, and I can’t wait to use it. It’s a custom blend of two of their serums, and it’s supposed to soothe and hydrate the skin. And if you judge books by their cover like I do, then this stuff would be a New York Times best seller.

Alrighty, that’s all for today. Three boxes to go, two days left. A fail, but only slight.

Jul26

Boxycharm | July 2014

Posted on by
Standard

You wanna be depressed? Here’s my Boxycharm:

20140725-170852-61732134.jpg

Seriously, what is this? All my favorite un-favorites having a reunion? I mean, we got nail polish, a 6th tube of the same dadgum moisturizer, loose eyeshadow … I hate to be a Debbie Downer, but this box is NO. BUENO.

But to be fair, I am reviewing it anyway cuz I know not everyone dislikes the same things I do. Also, I am a professional and that’s how I take care of business.

First two items are from Bellapierre. The lip liner is fine, although I got the cinnamon color which matches all the other cinnamon colored lip liners I’ve been sent recently. I don’t use lip liners that often although I really should. My old lady lips may not be able to survive without it now.

The other item is a loose eyeshadow. I do not use this. Especially cuz I got the bubble gum pink shade. Nothing says I’m twelve! quite like pale pink glitter. Granted, I know some of y’all can pull this off, but not me. I would look like I tried too hard to be cool and failed miserably. I already can’t draw a straight eyeliner line in under 20 minutes (per eye) – I don’t need to make a fool of myself further. Regifted!

Next.

This product is someone’s idea of a very not-funny joke. Presenting my billionth tube of Pur-Lisse moisturizer. Boo. Hiss. I’m not even kidding how annoyed I am. I suppose it’s the hazard of subscribing to 11 boxes, but still. Granted, I did use one previous tube of this and there’s nothing wrong with it. I liked it just fine. It was light, absorbed quickly, which is a mandatory thing considering I don’t have time to wait around in the morning. But I lose interest in things pretty quickly after spending over a month on one product. I’ve moved on, Pur-Lisse, why can’t you?

Annnnnnnd then, a salt in the wound sort of situation has now commenced. Nail polish. I’m seriously going back to bed, you guys. How many red polishes can one person own? The answer is ONE and then you are done for the rest of your life. So I have regifted this Lauren B Beauty one to a very deserving friend where it will be free to run and play and be happy forever. I mean, literally forever. Nail polish does not die.

Last product in the box, and THE ONLY THING I actually like is this lipstick from Appeal Cosmetics. I got a nude pink called Mock-Up, and it goes very well with my skin tone. In fact, the website says it goes perfect with every skin tone so that’s good news. I’ve been getting into nude lipsticks lately, but having a struggle finding one that doesn’t wash me out so I’m very happy to have this.

Needless to say, I have done the grown up thing and canceled my Boxycharm subscription. I didn’t want to continue to spend money on a box that more often than not leaves me cranky. I can’t spend $20 just for the excitement of opening up a box. Well, I can but that’s a var var stupid idea.

So I’ve now subscribed to Vegan Cuts and we’re gonna get that a try. Plus it’s $2 cheaper. Saving money. That’s what I’m all about.

Sorta.

Jul25

Sample Society | July 2014

Posted on by
Standard

It’s Friday, everybody!  We are at the end of the work week.  Does this excite you as much as it does me?  Am I the biggest dork in all the land?  Probably.  But if you’re not excited it’s Friday, I am concerned about your mental health.

Here’s my Sample Society in a photo of exceptional quality:

20140723-114704-42424310.jpg

Sample Society has been relaunched with the start of this box.  Other than the color of the actual box, I’m not sure what that means.  Hopefully better products with an even balance of makeup and skincare. However, there was a dadgum perfume sample in there, so it doesn’t bode well.  We shall see.

Let’s go ahead and get the perfume out of the way.  It is Aqua Universalis from Maison Francis Kurkdjian, and the first thing I did was go who, what?  I’ve never heard of him/that, but it’s pricey as shit so it must be luxury.  Wish I cared.  But for those curious, the scent is bergamot and lemon, Lily of the Valley, orange and musky wood.  Smells just like all the other perfumes I’ve gotten in my boxes lately, because I don’t even bother to differentiate them.  Do. Not. Want.

Next.

And to make it even better, I got my other un-favorite – a bottle of nail polish.  Serious, whhhhyyyyyeeee does my life hate me?!  It’s Butter London in the shade Champers, which is actually quite pretty, so I suppose I’ll go ahead and keep it, but it barely squeaked by and not without my fair share of pouting.  Has anyone ever actually finished a bottle of nail polish?  I sure haven’t.  I’m pretty sure there are billions of half empty bottles just filling up landfills all willy nilly and polluting the Earth with their noxious fumes.  I’m about 97.96686% certain I’m saving the planet by not liking nail polish.  And that should make me Queen, at the very least.

Okay, now that I’ve finally depressed everyone to tears, how about some good news?  Got this hair mask from Fekkai that I really  like.  It’s their PrX Reparatives mask, and it worked pretty good.  Granted, I still love my Carol’s Daughter the most but I will use and finish the Fekkai one and enjoy the results.  The smell was very clean, and the texture was about medium-thick and creamy.  After I dried my hair, I could tell it looked smoother and less frizzy.  Not every product I try does this, so kudos to Mr. Fekkai.  Probably won’t repurchase though because that’s how devoted I am to Carol’s Daughter.  That had a skosh of lezzie in it, but you know what I mean.

Next up is the L’oreal ColourRiche Extraordinaire lip colour in the shade Coral Encore.  This is a very pretty color and super shiny.  The card in the box says this is supposed to smell like cotton candy, but mine didn’t.  In fact, it didn’t smell like any kind of candy.  So either someone’s idea of cotton candy is drastically skewed, or my lipstick is broken.  Either way, though, I do like this product.  It is kind of sticky; it collects at the inner edge of my lips in a not-so-attactive kind of way.  But it’s not so horrid as to keep me from using it.  The applicator on this thing is ultra bendy, like it’s on its last leg or something.  However, it’s soft and not bothersome or anything.  I’ll keep it.

Last product is the grand finale:  Laura Mercier Matte Baked Highlighter.  I love Laura Mercier’s products.  I could’ve hated everything else in this box, but the inclusive of Laura-Mercier-anything would have saved its life.  I have really been enjoying this highlighter.  But it is NOT matte.  I don’t even know why they called it that.   No, it’s not overly shimmery; yes, it looks very natural and fresh on the skin; but no, it is not matte by any definition of the word.  So that is a little misleading.  Regardless, though, I love it and will use it til I hit pan in about 15 years.  I don’t use highlighter that often.  That’s my own problem.

Aaack.  We’re at the end.  Time to get into pajamas and enjoy the weekend.  I have a couple of boxes waiting for me when I get home as well, which means I now have a total of 5 boxes left to review this month.  Annnnnd, it’s July 25.  I’m a really good blogger with horrible time management issues.

But adorable.  So all is forgiven.  Weeeee!

Jul20

Ipsy | July 2014

Posted on by
Standard

I am reading a book right now about a broken vagina.

Just wanted to tell you that.  Here’s my Ipsy:

20140720-124936-46176236.jpg

You know, I’m kind of looking forward to the fall boxes.  Because I don’t think I can take another sunscreen/suntan lotion.  Do these people not know me?  I don’t go outside unless someone pushes me.  And I mean literally pushes me, like out the door and then locks it.  Otherwise, I’m the girl sitting on the couch in pajamas watching Orange is the New Black.

So that is why this Hang Ten tanning oil is immediately regifted.  What is the point of SPF 8 anyway?  Might as well be melted butter.  At least for my skin anyway.  I’m super pale. From like the knees down, it’s beyond ridiculous.  My dad had the same problem.  Looked decent up top, but put on a pair of shorts and Erlack!  Everyone’s blind.

Another product that is probably useful, but not for the intention labeled on the tube is this Lavilin Jojoba Gel Cream.  You apply this cooling cream after strenuous activity.  I stared at it for a second, and then laughed and laughed and laughed.  Unless walking from my cubicle to the copy machine is considered strenuous activity, it’s a high possibility I will never use this cream.  Except I’ve decided I’ll use it after bathing as a moisturizer.  Certainly my skin won’t fall off if I use as un-directed?

At this point, I’m getting very very sleepy. Looked at this little bottle of lip and cheek stain by Elizabeth Mott (called Tints & Sass complete with what I imagine to be Jazz Hands!), and immediately crawled into bed. I dunno, y’all. I already have a Benefit and TheBalm one that both do the exact same thing as this and I never ever use them. The stain is very bright fuchsia on my lips, and it’s annoying as hell to put liquid blush on my cheeks. But in fairness, I gave it one shot this weekend to wow me, instantly went nope, delete and tossed this thing in my regift pile. Neeeeeext.

Bare Minerals has came out with these new little cream eyeshadows, which as you know I don’t enjoy hardly at all. However, I love Bare Minerals so wanted to keep an open mind in case it turned my life around or something. I’m not sure what color I got because I couldn’t find it labeled anywhere, but it was like a medium taupe. I applied it on my old lady eyes, and because it was matte, it didn’t make me look ridiculous. Then I put a satin taupe eyeshadow on top, and it really made the color stand out. I liked it a lot, more than any other cream eyeshadow I’ve ever tried. Now I’m not gonna go nutso and buy a whole bunch of em, but I’m considering getting a skin tone one at the very least. I wouldn’t be surprised if something like that exact scenario happened this weekend. Nope. Wouldn’t surprise me at all.

Last product in the box is the lifesaver of a mediocre haul. Everyone in the world owns a tube of the Benefit They’re Real mascara. Even I owned this about 2 years ago when I wandered into Ulta and asked for the best mascara to help my itty bitty lashes. But I recall not caring for the mascara at all. Didn’t feel like it did much for me, or at least not as far as my expectations went. And removing it was a nightmare. However, that was before I really started to get into makeup, and Ulta was just another store in the mall. Might as well have been a Foot Locker for as much excitement it evoked in me. Plus, I didn’t know how to apply mascara in a way that made any sense.

Fast forward to now and all the things I’ve learned. I spent a minimum of 10 minutes carefully and meticulously sweeping, wiggling from root to tip, and blinking my lashes over the mascara wand. This is my new tried-and-true method; it works miracles on me. And man, was it glorious. They’re Real truly is a great mascara and does exactly as it says – now since I can apply it properly. And removing it didn’t seem as difficult as it had before. Granted, two years ago I never washed off my makeup so the mascara probably cured itself to my lashes. Well. Live and learn.

Headed to bed to read more of my book. If you’re curious, it’s called The Camera My Mother Gave Me by Susanna Kaysen and it’s a true story about a broken vagina. No. That’s not a typo.

Night night!

Jul18

New Beauty Test Tube | July 2014

Posted on by
Standard

Oh my gawd, it’s Friday. I’ve waited for this day since this past Sunday. I really love my weekends. Like if I could go from Sunday straight to Friday, that would be my ideal week situation.

Here’s my New Beauty Test Tube:

20140718-205801-75481975.jpg

I always enjoy getting this box. Everything in it is always a surprise, and there’s lots of stuff. It’s not always all great stuff, but I love surprises nonetheless.

First thing I got was a leave-in conditioner from BioSilk. It’s for color treated hair, which I don’t have. I know I can still use it because it won’t make my hair revolt in a falling-out sort of way, but I’m gonna regift it to my mom who does indeed have color treated hair and would appreciate it more than me. Although I did use it and I liked how soft it made my hair feel. But I am nothing if not unselfish. I may not have a Bachelor’s Degree like my little sister, but I have free beauty products and that’s pretty much the same thing.

Oh look, my favorite. It’s a one-time use packet. Luckily the product, GrandeFace Lift, is an instant gratification anti-aging fluid that erases fine lines, wrinkles and pores within two minutes. Does that scare anybody else? I know I’m all about instant results, but how does it manage all that so quickly? I haven’t decided if I want to use it or pass it along to my mother who is not afraid of anything. I mean, she runs half marathons without peeing her pants, certainly she can handle a little voodoo upon her face.

Got a teeny tiny jar of Ole Henriksen eye gel. I’m very excited to use this because just looking at it makes me happy. It’s a blue gel that reminds me of that aloe vera stuff you put on after your sunburn, and that stuff feels ahhhmazing. So I have high hopes this eye gel feels much the same. And I’m not very interested in being disappointed. Thanks.

I’m not a huge fan of CC cream because it doesn’t offer enough coverage for my splotchy skin. But this Lumene one is very very good. I wore it all last weekend, and my face looked so smooth and the tone so even, I could’ve been a different person. It’s done exactly what a CC cream (color correcting) is supposed to do. I love it when products do that. Also, it’s cheap. Like $15. I love that too.

Received an eye base/primer thing from Laura Geller. They sent me the color Mauve Majesty and it couldn’t be more perfect. I have been trying (and failing) to apply light pink eyeshadow to my lids, but the color never stays. About 2 hours after applying, it looks like I forgot to put on eyeshadow. And once you’re at work, there ain’t nothing you can do about it except go home sick.

This stuff puts a very subtle mauve color on the lid, and it really helped in keeping whatever eyeshadow I put on top as colorful as possible. So I’ve decided that even though I’m not a fan of cream eyeshadows, I will keep this one cuz it serves an actual purpose for me. Hoorah!

If I ever decide it’s time to drink my coffee out of a straw, I will use this Smileactives teeth whitening pen. I will admit my teeth are not as white as I’d like. So it’s probably a good idea just to get on with it and use this whitening pen as directed for up to 4 times a day. I suppose drinking coffee out of a straw is a small price to pay for a dazzling smile. I’ve gotta do some more research cuz the instructions on the website doesn’t say a word about whether you brush your teeth first.

And then I opened the box and there was whitening gel everywhere, so nevermind. Coffee for everyone!

Got another cleanser to add to my long line of cleansers standing along my bathtub. This one is the Algenist Gentle Rejuvenating Cleanser. I’m so excited to get this cuz I have wanted to try something by Algenist for awhile. Was gonna buy a facial mask for $59, but this sample tube of cleanser will do for now. Don’t ever let my husband tell you I’m not saving money, cuz as you can see by this example that is simply NOT. TRUE.

I haven’t used this yet so obviously I can’t tell you anything further about it. I’m the best product reviewer ever.

Don’t judge.

Last item in the box is a drugstore shampoo and conditioner by Dove. Granted, it’s part of their advanced series but they sell it at Walmart which impresses me about zero percent. However, it’s still something usable so I don’t hate the fact I got it. I’m just not moved beyond words or anything. In fact, I’m so not moved beyond words, I’ve officially bored myself just talking about it. Would it kill someone to send me some Carol’s Daughter shampoo? I mean, come on. If I wanted Dove shampoo, I’d buy it myself. I mean, my husband would buy it for me, but that’s pretty much the same thing.

Okay, lovelies. We are done for the day. Thanks for stopping by. Please come back for more fun stuff. Bye!

Jul16

Birchbox | July 2014

Posted on by
Standard

I’ll just have you know the fact I took my friend makeup shopping last night and she bought everything I told her to and spent multiples of $100 is completely not my fault.

The fact I am an amazing beauty advisor, however, is 100% all mine. I’m sure someone needs to be paying me for this.

Here’s my Birchbox:

20140716-113209-41529943.jpg

How do I get off this Harvey Prince perfume train? This is the 3rd scent I’ve gotten, and I’m so over it right now I’m practically in pajamas with covers up to chin and sleeping mask activated. Good night, Harvey Prince. I’m taking a nap now.

For those curious, the scent is Imperial Gardenia and it smells nice. Like gardenias, so that makes sense. I would wear this if I wore perfume. But I don’t, so I won’t. Regifted! Moving on.

And for more nap time pleasure, here is a Naobay body lotion. I am so bored right now I can barely type.

Must …

persevere …

This smells like lemons. Goes on light and absorbs quickly. But it isn’t anything special in terms of being different from the trillion other lotions in existence. It is 98% natural and protects against the environment if that means anything to you. It claims to firm skin tissue as well, but I’m sure that involves psychological brain trickery at the very least.

And since we’re on such a roll, let’s do one more product that makes my face go like this: -__-

It’s the Number 4 Super Comb Prep & Protect leave-in conditioner. While this isn’t the worst thing to receive it certainly doesn’t make me giddy and/or a slobbering idiot. I used it, and will finish it, and it acts just like you’d expect it to. But the full size is a ridiculous $32 and I’m like you made of gold or something? No, you ain’t special. Certainly not $32 worth of special.

I feel like I’m being extra rude today. Let me throw out a disclaimer by saying these are my opinions only. The products themselves are not big o boos. They will solve an issue, be it dry skin, tangled hair, or the desire to smell like a bouquet of lovely flowers. But my excitement meter for these things are verging on a negative number. That’s all. No wet noodles please.

Let’s end on a high note, shall we? I am so happy I got the Real Chemistry Luminous 3-Minute Peel. I’ve been loving my Peter Thomas Roth Peeling Gel, and this product is similar. There’s just something oddly satisfying about your dead skin balling up and falling into the sink. Plus, it’s so easy to use. You just apply and rub in circular motions until all the product has worn away. Then rinse. You aren’t left with tiny micro beads that you’ll find stuck to your face for the next 3 days. It’s the best kind of exfoliation. And this will get your skin the softest it’s ever felt. I challenge you not to agree. And if you don’t, then you’re wrong. Simple as that.

Last item is a pretty little lip stain by Cynthia Rowley. Birchbox had actually emailed me a few weeks ago to ask which shade I wanted. I thought that was a nice touch, and hopefully they will continue to do this. I chose a pink nude called Sugar and it is the perfect color for me. And these lip stains are not drying at all. They went on wet and after an hour I was still able to feel the creaminess of the product on my lips. The staining power, however, wasn’t miraculous or anything. Although I switch up my lip color so much during the day, I’m not even mad about it. But just FYI for those that care. Also it’s a Birchbox exclusive.

That’s all I got, boo boos. I have lots more to say for another day. Get excited.