Category Archives: Eyes

Pandora’s Box Collaboration Indie Box: March 2017


Three things about bathrooms that I do not approve of:

1)  Those giant cheese wheels of toilet paper you spin for a minimum of 18 hours looking for the start of the roll;

2)  The fact that hand dryers now apparently blow poo germs all around the room, according to one of the worst articles ever written; and

3)  Snakes now live in toilets because OF COURSE THEY DO.

Listen, I’m a worry wort, hypochondriac, anxiety-ridden OCDer (i.e., fun at parties!), so I can’t have this kind of knowledge in my head.  I mean, the cheese wheel of toilet paper is more of a nuisance thing, but the hand dryers and the snakes?  NO THANK YOU.

I love the hand dryer.  Really love it.  It’s warm and relaxing.  My hands are always so dang cold anyway, so sometimes I go to the restroom to pretend pee just so I can stick my hands in the hand dryer.  Plus, when is the last time you waved a dripping wet hand under an automatic dispenser begging it to release a little tiny square of paper towel only to get nothing, nada, in return?  Probably like 15 seconds ago, right?  So yeah, the hand dryer solves all that useless exercise, which is tops in my book.  BUT NOT ANYMORE.  Apparently, unless I want a nice mist of someone else’s bacteria all over my face, I’m gonna have to pick fights with the paper towel dispenser instead, wasting energy, time and possibly some dignity.  Cuz lord knows cuss words are gonna come out.  Great.

But that snake thing.  Now that’s a whole other issue altogether.  Who wants this?  Anyone?  NO.  Snakes get two places:  zoos and jungles.  That’s it.  Everything else is mine.  Whoever is in charge of toilet pipes (plumbers? Jesus?) needs to fix this immediately. Cuz I can deal with just about anything (well, aside from weird breathe-y noises from the stall next to me cuz what is happening in there?!), but a snake just having a little swim inside my toilet bowl?  DONE.  I’ll just hold it for the next 37 years instead, thanks.

Now that we’re all properly creeped out by sheer evidence I need to stop scrolling the internet at 2am with one eye closed and sleeping, let’s go to our happy place: NAIL POLISH.  I received the March edition of the Pandora’s Box to review for you today.  This collaboration box is hosted by Athena & Aphrodite and contains polish, nail wraps, makeup and bath and body items contributed by other indie brands that rotate from month to month.  March is (appropriately) St. Patrick’s Day-themed – which means a whole lot of green is about to happen.  Look:

Eeeeee!  Happiness is everywhere!  Aside from those fake flowers, everything in here is a cutie patootie.  However, I paid $1.99 for those flowers, so I had no choice.

First, let’s talk about the contributions offered by the host, Athena & Aphrodite.  Angela did two things, a polish and an eyeshadow.  Let’s look!

Here’s Pot O’ Gold:

You know I love dark polish, so I was super on board with this one.  Base here is a creamy black and it’s loaded with some awesome gold flakies.  I did two coats, even though it covered really well in one.  But two makes it all smooth and perfect, which is all we ever want in life, right?  Well, maybe Leonardo could come bring me a Starbucks.  But THEN we’re all good.

Some macros for your flakie pleasure:

And just for funsies, I added a matte top coat and the effect looks amazing.  Proof:

Told ya.

The other item from Angela is this gold eyeshadow called Athena’s Treasure:

Look at me trying to be a beauty blogger.  Don’t worry, it gets worse: 


In my defense, it was either this or I was gonna have to do a full face of makeup, but it’s Saturday and full of pajamas, sooooo …

I love this gold color though.  It’s nice and shimmery but not over the top.  It’s not GOLD! with jazz hands, but more just gold with like some sweatpants on.  Comfy casual gold is what I’m saying.

Next item in the box are some shamrock nail wraps by Freya Wraps:

Yep, guess who never uses nail wraps?  But I tried, so blogger points for that, right?  They were pretty easy to put on, and I definitely recommend not skipping the blow dryer part because they do smooth out considerably once they’re warmed up.  I have a pretty decent C-curve to my nails so I had a bit of trouble getting out all the wrinkles, but if you are used to wraps and love wraps, I have no doubt you’ll enjoy these and make them look a billion times better than I have here.

Now we have this lotion bar from Nailed It Hawaii: 

I’ve never used a lotion bar before and wasn’t really sure how to apply it. Apparently I was overthinking it, cuz you for real just rub it on your body. That’s it. The heat from your skin will melt the lotion and then you just rub it in. Easy peasy.  Consistency is like a thick balm so it doesn’t melt to liquid or anything but it sinks in relatively fast which to me is very important.  Sticky lotion hands is the equivalent of picking macaroni and cheese out of shag carpet.  In other words:  gross.

But then I turn the bar over and there’s the cutest flower design embedded on its backside.   Well drat.  That’s precious.  Looks like this thing is getting displayed on my bathroom sink for the next 8 years then cuz how I can go messing up something so pretty?  Despite all it’s butters and oils and sweet orange and grapefruit.  In fact, I’ll just sit it right next to this countertop rack where I’ve hung a little turquoise towel that no one’s allowed to touch.  Even if all the other towels are dirty and your hand is on fire.  Sorry.  Decoration 101.  Everyone knows that.

Next item is a polish from Little Black Dress Nail Lacquer called Celtic Myth:

Is that angels singing? Prolly.

Guys, it’s GREEN.  The color of fresh, new beginnings.  The color that brings me back to life.  The color against which all other colors need to be measured, because not much is more perfect.  Seriously, I checked.

Look at all this holo and gold shimmer.  I die!

Okay, last item in the box is this foaming sugar scrub from Handmade Natural Beauty:

About 15 minutes post bath, and I literally DO smell like an Irish Spring.  It’s wonderfully clean and refreshing since most of my bath stuff smells like coconuts or like I’ve been suntanning in the backyard.  Which we know can’t be true cuz my backyard is outside and I don’t go outside cuz outside requires pants.  Or so says society.

Anyway, the scrub is very soft which I like.  And it does foam up once it’s mixed with water, although not an overload of foam.  Plus, if you don’t enjoy the feeling of oil left on your skin after a scrub, you’ll love this.  If not, then I absolutely KNOW you’ll love this.  I opened the jar, annnnnnnddddddd:

I won’t lie: I thought those were candies and got really super excited.  Never mind the fact that would make no effing sense whatsoever.  I looked at the jar, and the label says to trash the sugar decorations (SUGAR?!  So still not candy?) but the little swirly ball in the center is a glycerin soap.  Fun!  Although still slightly disappointed.

Basically what I’m saying is someone needs to head this way with a candy bar.  STAT.

Here’s the purchase deets on this box:

Cost:  $34.99

Availability:  Pre-sale is open right now and will run through February 15.  Shipping will start in the beginning of March.

Click here to shop the Athena & Aprhodite store.  Select the “Pandora’s Box” section on the left hand side.

Also, there is a giveaway going on over at the Pandora’s Box Instagram page.  For a chance to win one of these boxes, click here to enter.  Rules for the giveaway are listed under the photo.

Okay, guys, that’s all for now.  Hope everyone is having a fabulous Saturday.  I only had to leave the house once today (for groceries in an effort to “sustain life”; ugh) but I left my pajama shirt on and wore it with jeans, so it wasn’t too terrible.  Huge night of swatching ahead of me so I can write more blogs for you.  Get excited!  (Seriously.  DO IT.)

Later loves!


Buying Stuff: Eyeshadow Edition


Welcome to August!  Otherwise known as My Month-Long Birthday Celebration!  Therefore, everything below is immediately and forevermore JUSTIFIED.  Because if you’re that person who can deny a girl her birthday treats, then how can we ever be friends?  It’s nigh on impossible.

So here’s a bunch of eyeshadow stuffs for you to love:


That’s the Bare Minerals Ready Eyeshadow 2.0 in the shade The Vision.  I have never tried Bare Minerals eyeshadows before, and can I just say how lovely they are?  I probably shouldn’t have gotten started now because do you know how many colors they have?  Like eons worth.  This particular one has a mint blue/green on the left (you know, the one completely washed out by my camera), and a duo chrome teal blue/brown/green collab on the right.  They go on very smooth, color shows up brilliantly, and they blend out like a dream.  I heart them so much!  Pretty sure I’ll be picking up a few more of these very very soon.  Or else someone needs to be gifting these to me like stat.  Have I mentioned this is my month-long birthday celebration?  Wellll, it is.

And then comes this thing:


If you don’t know what palette this is, then you have been camping in the Siberian Wilderness for far too long.  It’s the Too Faced Chocolate Bar, and I’m about 97.95746% certain I’m the last person in the world to own it.  Well, except for the cavewomen and nomads.  But after them, definitely the last.

I went back and forth for months deciding if I should or should not buy it.  At first glance, other than the obvious few colors, it looks like a bunch of brown eyeshadows.  And I didn’t need a palette full of brown eyeshadow.  However, my sister got it, then my best friend got it, and then I started to feel like I was missing out.  Fiiiiiiinnne. I bought you.

And now I love you.  Dammit.

This palette is officially one of my most favorite ones.  The colors are beautiful, and I can actually get quite a few looks out of it despite all the brown.  And honestly, the browns are very different from one another anyway – much more different that I initially thought.  There’s a mix of shimmers, mattes and glitters and every last one of them smells like chocolate.  Not fake, artifically flavored chocolate, but real cocoa powder.  I don’t know if that’s the green light to go on and eat the dang thing, but I guarantee someone’s dipped their finger in and took a lick.  And don’t be looking at me like I’m guilty cuz I have too much hypochondria in my brain to be sticking my tongue in eyeshadow.

Here’s the result of some late night YouTubing:


Good lord.  Did I need this?

(Yes.  The answer to that question is always yes.)

This is the Tarina Tarantino Floriculture palette. First of all, your eyes are not deceiving you.  The eyeshadow pans are ginormous.  You get a lot of value for your money with this one.  The shades are also very pretty, delicately shimmery, perfect for my old lady eye skin.  The only complaint would be the absense of a matte crease or matte highlight; however, I’m not peeved enough to never use this palette again.  Plus, the fuschia floral packaging is beautiful and looks ultra fancy sitting in the wicker basket on the back of my toilet.

It is limited edition, but I’ve been seeing it around for awhile so not sure how long it’ll still be available.  I’d say play it safe and go ahead and put it in your shopping cart immediately, because although the palette may stick around for a little longer, the apocolypse could happen any day now.  And you need this to help get you through.

Lookie, more Makeup Geek eyeshadows:


These are my absolute favorite eyeshadows in all the land.  That’s not an exaggeration.  I own about 25 single pans now (all expertly arranged in my Z-Palette), and every single one of them is amazing.  I haven’t had fallout issues, blending issues, pigmentation issues.  In fact, if these were people, they’d be your best friend, your partner, your lovahhh.  Serious.  That didn’t get weird there for a second, did it?

Anyway.  I highly highly highly suggest a shopping trip to and buy a few of these.  I challenge you not to be impressed.  Plus, for the mere price of $5.99, I can’t imagine you wouldn’t want a hundred of these.  Well, wait, that’s $600. So maybe not a hundred – at least not all at once.

On a side note:  math.  Twenty-two years since graduation, and I. STILL. GOT. IT.

Last item is this thing:


I’m not sure when this debuted but I’m thinking it was just a few weeks ago.  It’s the Amrezy palette by Anastasia Beverly Hills.  Isn’t it lovely?  Those jewel tones though.  I die.  I die!  I haven’t used all the colors yet cuz it literally came in the mail two days ago.  But so far everything works great.  At first glance, I thought the Caramel shade would be too dark for my crease, but it actually went on very natural.  I’m hoping the Morocco (orange) shade is just as good.  I’m wearing the Topaz on my lid today with Deep Plum in the outer v, and I swear if Vogue isn’t calling soon, then something is wrong with Vogue.

Well, that’s it guys.  Are you tired now, cuz I am.  It’s pajama time!  Have a great weekend.

NARS NARSissist Eyeshadow Palette


Oh, NARS.  What have you done?

Made me spend $79 on an eyeshadow palette, that’s what.

I have never in my life spent that much money on eyeshadow.  Granted, I just started getting into makeup a mere five months ago, therefore never spending any money on any makeup is more like it.  Now, however, I will drop $40 on foundation without a blink, $22 on lipstick with nary an eye twitch.  I’ve been desensitized to high-end makeup prices.  It’s because I want to own all the things.  We’ve discussed this already.

Anyway, saw the NARS NARSissist eyeshadow palette on the internet somewhere, and immediately fell in obsessive stalkerish kind of love.  Look at all these beautiful neutral, smoky colors:


Gah!  I die.

The colors are not displayed on the palette itself, or even the box it comes in.  So I stole this information off the internet.  Top to bottom, left to right, the names are All About Eve I, Madrague II, Fez, Bali, Coconut Grove, Madrague I, Nepal, Ashes to Ashes, Brousse II, Mekong, Bellissima I, Lhasa, Bad Behavior, Dogon II, and Pandora II.  I’m not ashamed to admit I printed out the names on my label printer and stuck them to the back of my palette.  Big dork, right here, y’all.  Sorry.  (Not sorry.)

I am an obsessive compulsive, anal retentive, perfectionist.  Just putting that out there as a disclaimer for all the weird crap I do in future blog posts.  Cuz there be several.  Guaranteed.  And don’t worry about me destroying the sanctity that is the purity of the NARSissist palette.  The labels are in extremely tidy, kempt rows, evenly distributed and pleasing to the eye.  In fact, I think I’ve actually improved the aesthetic of the whole thing.  Trust me, it’s perfect.

Anyhoo, back to my point.

I received this in the mail over the weekend after an insanely long one week and one day wait.  It was absolute torture, believe me.  So much torture that I even told my husband I was expecting it any day now, and therefore admitting I bought more stuff.  I think we’re still married, so all is well for now.

One thing about this palette is that these shades are not new.  They are all part of the NARS collection, so if you are a die-hard NARS fan, you may already own these either in singles or part of a duo.  The benefit of owning this palette would simply be a nice, neat place to keep these all together (OCDers, rejoice!).  Or, if you are like me and do not own any NARS shadows, you can purchase this kit without reservation and enjoy.

So I’ve been using this palette for the past three days, mostly in the blue/pewter or taupe/purple family, throwing in a matte beige for the crease and deep black for emphasis.  And I swear I’ve been trying very hard to do such a good job but I tell you what, if you want to spend light years blending in your eyeshadow, then you’re in for some fun.  I was quite literally running a big fluffy brush through my outer V for about 20 minutes and still not satisfied.  So I gave up, accepted it for what it was, and moved on.


Can’t say I’m unhappy with this palette.  I still have several other shades to try which I will get to later this week.  I just feel slightly bummed that my expectations got the best of me.  And that I’ve been extra late for work two days in a row.  If they only knew what was happening in my bathroom in the morning.  Blending, blending, blending, napping, blending, blending, blending … It’s a nightmare.

Maybe I need to practice my eyeshadow skills in general before attempting to use this palette.  I mean, I’m no expert.  Sometimes I attempt those fancy manuevers you see on You Tube only to be left with a prostitutey mess.  I will say after purchasing some proper brushes, I’ve gotten better but still feel I have miles to go.

So take this review with a grain of salt.  I am a beginner, and I might have reached for the stars too soon.  If NARS wants to be a little complicated, then by all means go for it.  Perhaps my definition of complicated is simply from a newbie’s perspective and I should just zip it.  I dunno.  But if you are a master of makeup, and you’ve tried this palette, I am interested in hearing what you think.

Smartlash Eyelash Enhancer


I’m not sure which hooligan was in charge of handing out the long, luxurious eyelashes but lemme tell you what: I am not impressed.

Serious, I have been not-so-blessed with some super itty bitty lashes. They are straight, tiny little things that barely improve with mascara. It’s a travesty to the 100th power.

So tragic. So sad.

A couple months ago, one of my beauty boxes sent me a tube of eyelash growth serum by Smartlash:


Could this be it, the start of my movie star transformation? It promises to make a noticeable difference in a mere 28 days. That’s not unbearable; I can totally wait 28 days. Hell, it’s only been 39 years, what’s 28 more days amiright?!

I have diligently without fail applied Smartlash to the T, twice a day sweeping it along the roots of my lashes like a good girl should. I have been more faithful to Smartlash than any diet I’ve ever been on where someone has sat beside me eating a chocolate cake with extra loud food noises and lip licking. Serious, don’t do that; I will bite you.

I’ve digressed.

It’s now been almost 2 months since I’ve started my regimen, and thought perhaps it was time for a little before and after. I had taken my before picture the night I started, and to make it super scientific and official, I took my after picture in the same bathroom at the same time of day in the same position in the same spot.

And out popped this piece of crap:


What the sam holy hell is that?! Where is my dramatic reveal? I’m not even kidding, where is it?!

Top is before, bottom is after. But it doesn’t make a dadgum bit of difference because it’s practically the same effing picture. Boo. Hiss. I’ve wasted almost 2 months of my life applying this quote-unquote serum, and I have nothing to show for it. I no likey one bit.

So I am still suffering the Plight of the Short-Lashed People. Where I buy Japanese eyelash curlers because I was told they were my only option (it does help; Shu Uemura if you’re curious). Where I spend an exorbitant amount of money on mascara full of promises and money-back guarantees. Where I stare longingly at everybody else’s eyebrow-touching eyelashes with only a smidge of Creepy Creeperton.

However, I have not given up. I will find a solution to this problem. I will permanently adhere falsies if I have to. I am determined, I am steadfast, I am pressing forward the only way I know how.

With pit stops at Ulta and Starbucks of course.