I’m addicted to following manicured nail pictures on Instagram.  But not just any manicure – I only want to look at perfect ones with square cut nails and tidy cuticles.  They soothe my soul like nothing else.  Or like a Xanax maybe.  And because of this new found insanity, I have become inspired to paint my nails more often.  Like I want to be one of those girls with perfect square cut nails and tidy cuticles.    I want to soak my fingers in a bowl of warm olive oil too.  I want someone to suck all the fat out of my thighs.  That last one has nothing to do with a manicure, but if someone could get that arranged, that’d be great.

I bought stuff!  Let’s look:

Picked up this Besame Brightening Violet Powder because of its adorable 50s-era packaging.  It literally looks as if it walked right off the pages of an old Avon catalog.  Precious!  Back when I bought it, Sephora just started carrying the brand and this was the single solitary item it offered.  Now they have two other versions of the powder.  The idea behind the violet one is that it will brighten up sallow skin – and it may simply be psychological brain trickery for all I know – but I’d swear it does just that.  The violet tone is translucent but lends a skosh of something special.  It will never appear obviously powdered, but you’ll know it’s there.  Everyone else will assume you had a face lift.

One look and you’ll know why I got this:

It’s the Sigma Lip Switch in the shade Flip Flop and it’s pretty much the raddest thing you’ve ever seen.  Check out that magical iridescence!  It gives me heart eyes immediately.  But of course something this awesome can never live up to expectations because that is how my life works.  Cuz once it’s applied to the lips, it pretty much disappears.  It’s glossy, yes, but if you want that vibrant orange/gold/pinky shift, you will have to look elsewhere.  You get it faintly at best.

I have seen some Instagram pics where people would wear black or navy lipstick and then apply these holo lipglosses and the iridescence shows up much better.  But ask me how many times I’ve worn black lipstick.  I could count on one hand the number of times.  Actually if I had ZERO hands, I could still count the number of times.  Basically what I’m saying is for now I wear this as a sheer lipgloss over my coral or orange lipsticks.  It serves a purpose.  Not a very special one, but there ya go.

Not one to be left off the bandwagon, I bought this along with 97.95764% of the rest of the world:

It’s the Anastasia Beverly Hills Contour Kit (in the light/medium version), a product I didn’t really need much less know how to use but I bought anyway because if it’s a bestseller, I WANT IT.  Same goes for pretty much anything else in life.  Your Oscar-nominated movie is spoken entirely in French and with no subtitles?  No problem!  Your Pulitzer Prize-winning book is a 700-page diatribe set in war-torn Prussia in the 17th century and most likely to cause eye spasms and involuntary napping?  GIMME.  I just refuse to not be in the know.  But also, I can obsess like it’s my damn job.  I couldn’t have walked away from this highly talked about product even if I had my feet on backwards.  You cannot deny this kind of magnetism.  The struggle is REAL.

So now that I have it, I’ve been making myself use it.  And I’m really trying, I swear.  I contour, I bronze, I highlight and set my under eye.  But I haven’t been that impressed.  I mean, it’s not a bad palette, but I don’t feel the need to hoard it or protect it with my life (cuz I will cut you over a couple of my foundations, so I know it’s possible).  The highlight (shimmery) shade is really pretty, but all the rest for me are take its or leave its.  However, I OWN THE DANG THING, and that’s what’s most important anyway.

How about something pretty:

I die!  It’s the Charlotte Tilbury K.I.S.S.I.N.G. lipstick in Coachella Coral and it is summer in a tube.  It’s has a delicious, creamy formula, stunning color, and decent longevity.  Even smells good.  What’s not to love?  Okay, maybe the $32 price tag.  But it’s just so pretty.  I was helpless, I admit.  Plus, if you never use it and just pull it out of your purse when people walk by, then it’ll last forever.  And really, isn’t that the point of designer makeup – to see and be seen?  Obviously yes.

Another hyped up product by YouTube:

I was able to resist buying the Gerard Cosmetics BB Plus Illumination Cream until I watched this stupid/amazing makeup tutorial and decided I had to have it about 2.5 seconds later.  Well, you know how it is.  If I even think there’s one iota of a chance I can have flawless, beautiful skin just like in the video, then it could be dog poo in a jar but I’m all over it anyway.  Please and thank you.

So about this stuff.  It’s pure liquid gold.  Seriously.  You put it all over your face and holy moly, you shine like brand new money.  Apply your foundation on top and then sit back to enjoy the view.   It has such a stunning effect.  Foundation looks more flawless.  There is a radiance that is subtle but noticeable.  No shimmer, just glow.  Ugh, I love it.  You can also use it alone if you want to dab some on your cheekbones or shoulders.  Or you can do a drop mixed with your moisturizer or foundation for something lighter.  Whichever way you go with it, you’re bound to love it.

Pointless Makeup Product #272:

It’s the YSL Tint in Oil, and if you just went Tint in Oil?! then we are best friends and you can continue reading this blog.  It sounds really fascinating except that it’s not.  It’s just a lip oil so we can all just go sit back down.  There is nothing to see here.

But if you must know.  I got mine in the shade Drive Me Copper.  As you can see from the swatch, it’s not very coppery.  Nor is it very any other color.  It’s a tint – I get that – but you can literally swatch it next to the other colors in the line and wouldn’t be able to tell a difference between any of them.  However, I can say a couple of good things about the product because I like to make an effort sometimes.  It’s slick and shiny, so it would make a nice glossy topper for any lip color.  It has a sticky factor of zero.  And when worn alone it feels nice and comforting.  But if you’re expecting something special in terms of a product with actual copper color (or any color), this one gets a big o raspberry.

And then there was this:

I hit pan on my teeny tiny Bare Minerals Touch-Up Veil setting powder, and it sent me into a panic.  International Powder Crisis and whatnot.  You know how it goes.  So I immediately went in search of another setting powder that I could store in my purse and apply at work after I do my mid-afternoon blotting.  The Bare Minerals one is matte, which is all well and good, but I wanted to try something different.  A glow powder.  And what better way to do it than with the Too Faced Candlelight Powder.

I’m not very good at glow powder.  Either that or I expected more than I should.  Cuz I didn’t get that “lit from within” candlelight glow I was thinking I’d get.  Instead, I got glitter and sparkle.  I’m too old for glitter and sparkle.  I had read reviews prior to purchasing, and let’s just say SHUT UP with your soft-focus, your illuminates complexion, and your inspired by actual candlelight cuz none of those things happened and my heart is broken.  It claims to be absolutely invisible, and while it is translucent, there is definite shimmer on your face.  Okay, okay, it’s not out at the club shimmer, but still.  I’m gonna keep playing around with it.  Maybe it’ll grow on me.  I mean, most people like this powder.  They’re probably all 14-year-olds, but yes, most reviews are favorable.

Last product in the haul:

Sometimes I buy things for the sake of buying something.  Take the It Cosmetics CC+ Radiance Palette for instance.  I hadn’t heard much about it.  But I walked into Ulta without an agenda, had nothing in my shopping bag for five minutes too long, and I started to get anxiety.  What if I didn’t find anything?  I couldn’t leave Ulta emptyhanded.  That’s blasphemy as far as I’m concerned.  So picking this palette up was an act of desperation at the very least.  However, I would find it useful especially when traveling since it’s basically three products in one.

My favorite is the blush.  It’s a very pretty pink with a touch of coral and looks very flattering with my skintone.  The powder is just okay.  It pulls slightly pink on me so I don’t love it, although if it came down to packing an extra powder compact or saving space with this 3-in-1, I’d do the 3-in-1.  That’s not lazy, that’s practical – and we all know how practical I can be.  Finally, the bronzer.  Looks very dark in the pan, but it does not apply that dark.  It’s matte and has a bit of a reddish undertone – in my opinion; deciphering undertones is not my strong suit.  However, it’s not my favorite bronzer.  It’s not bad, mind you, but I never want to use this palette primarily because of the bronzer.

Well, that’s what I get for not doing my research before stepping foot inside an Ulta.  It could’ve been worse though – I distinctly remember having an ice blue eyeshadow rollerball in my bag as well.  I kindly put that back on the shelf.  Anxiety is a REAL DISEASE – as you can clearly see.

Time for night night.  Thanks for continually reading my blog.  I love all my people.  Internet hugs for everyone.  Well, just the cute ones.  Bye!