• A PRESS SAMPLE FANDANGO •

We’re jumping right into the polish tonight cuz NEW TONICS ARE COMING!  NEW TONICS ARE COMING! and there’s just no time to be lounge-y right now.  Plus, ONCE AGAIN, it’s well after midnight, Full House has transitioned to Friends and guess who’s not  sleeping, not even a little bit?  YOU GUYS.  I am officially the most boring person on the planet and NO ONE is surprised.  Booooo.  Good thing I’m quite the Trophy Wife, or else we’d all be worried.

SHALL WE READ MORE? WE SHALL!

Hubby spent the day outside cleaning the solar panels while I stayed in my robe and painted nails for eight hours straight. You know, as far as the divisioning of duties go, I’d say that sounds about right.

So now I’m laying here in the bathtub blogging like a crazy person cuz I literally can’t wait to show you what all I’ve accomplished today. Aside from two glasses of wine and 16 Whopper malted milk balls (diet status: going quite well, clearly), I’ve swatched SO! MUCH! PRETTY! that if anything ladylike happens next, it’d be a damn near miracle.  New Tonics are coming, new Tonics are coming!   And then we all collectively pass the hell on out now.

GUYS. I can’t even describe. There are no words. Hope y’all wanna read a blog full of silence, cuz my brain’s done gone away somewhere and it’s moan-y throat noises from here on out.  Uhhhhhhnnnnnnn.  See?  Ugh.  

Okay, FOCUS.  An attempt is happening.  Take a look at new stuff from Tonic Nail Polish:

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

Still upright?  Just checking.

This is the Secrets & Soulmates collection, a set of 7 glorious shades full of shimmer and flakies and voodoo and MAGIC.  Which means Lindsey’s about to break some kind of sales record, I’m quite certain.  Cuz you don’t just toss all this pretty out in the world and expect wallets not to fly out of purses, everywhere.

So this collection was made in collaboration with Elena from @ecklipsed on Instagram.  Lindsey and Elena both have a love for design, art, fashion, romance and nail polish (duh), so it was only natural for them to come together to bring one of the most stunning collections of color to LIFE.  Elena created mood boards and Lindsey turned them all into tiny glass jars of LEGIT PERFECTION.

And now we all want like 18,000 bottles.  Rational behavior?  NOT TODAY!

Each swatch below will be interspersed with Elena’s own words, her inspiration and the meaning behind it all.   Ooooooh, we’re about to set a mood, I can already tell.  Grab your smelling salts and your drool buckets, y’all; it’s about to get sexy:

NOVITIATE 

Novitiate represents the preparation for a new journey.  It’s fresh, soft, ethereal and innocent.  It is a color of promises yet to be fulfilled and chances to be taken.

I dreamed up this color while I was taking a chance on following my heart for the first time in a long time.  It paid off.  My heart is complete.  Lindsey made this shade whisper a love poem.  I can’t wait for you to “hear” it.

— Elena

DESCRIPTION:  An icy mint creme with turquoise shimmer that shifts to a soft pale purple

OPACITY:  Three coats 

Did you just die?  Cuz I sure did.  Multichromes are happening and now all semblance of normal = out the dadgum window.  Also, don’t look at that hair dangling off my index finger.  DON’T LOOK AT IT!  Cuz I’ve stared at it hardcore enough for all of us.  Blah.

LEMONS & CREAM

Sometimes you have to lose it all to find a better way.  Lemons & Cream is the personification of that feeling.  It has a hidden glow that shows the power of persistence in the face of adversity.

— Elena

DESCRIPTION: A yellow with strong red/pink shimmer and large shimmer particles

OPACITY: Three coats

Formula on this one is a little thicker, but I still found it manageable.  Which coming from me, the girl who sprained her foot from laying on the couch too hard, that’s saying something.

This color is intense and therefore it might stain.  Base coat for safety!

SPECTRE

The past few months have been nothing short of a blockbuster movie or a telenovela.  It even had a good villain.  I wanted a tongue-in-cheek nod to the most formidable foes of one of my favorite fictional spies, James Bond.  007 matched wits with the criminal organization, SPECTRE, more than once.  Bond always came out on top.  My foe didn’t succeed either.  I figured I’d celebrate victory with nail polish.

— Elena

DESCRIPTION:  An aqua blue to purple shifting lumichrome

OPACITY:  Two coats

Who’s still sexy?  NOT THIS LADY!  The Ugly Ecstasy Face is a dire thing.  And crying over nail polish is COMPLETELY NORMAL BEHAVIOR, just so you know.

FECUNDITY 10

This polish was conceived with my 10th wedding anniversary in mind.  I had met my husband in February (amethyst) and we were married the following August (peridot).  The day Lindsey launched this collection, my divorce was finalized.  This color now symbolizes how life and love will always move on, that it can always be created, it is fecund.

— Elena

DESCRIPTION:  A deep grape purple with green/fuchsia/purple large particle multichrome shimmers, a hint of green//fuchsia/purple multichrome shimmer, iridescent flakies and tiny silver holographic microglitters

OPACITY:  Three coats

So many goodies!  How this one doesn’t cost like a million dollars defies all the comprehensions.  Regardless, in the cart she goes!

LAGNIAPPE 

This color was inspired by someone very dear to me and Lindsey – Chris Burnes, Tonic’s fan group admin and biggest cheerleader. Chris was a gift to me during my transition to a new job opportunity and my divorce.  Almost every day I got a “proof of life” check and she got a heavy dose of Boston accent in return.

Lagniappe is a Cajun Creole derived word that means a little bonus or extra token of appreciation.  This color has a little something extra, as does the woman who inspired it.

— Elena

DESCRIPTION: A multidimensional pink/orchid holographic with sparkly blue shimmers and glowing orange/green shifting iridescent flakies

OPACITY: Two coats

If you’re a purple lover, how happy must you be right now.  This shade is GLORIOUS!  Cue the noodle legs; it’s getting suuuuuper swoon-y in here! Hope ya’ll got your fainting couches handy, like one of those fancy Victorian ones, cuz who’s about to get unattractive on a futon?  Not a dadgum one of us, that’s who.

DULCINEA

Dulcinea was the love interest of the literary character, Don Quixote.  The name has now evolved into a synonym for “sweetheart” or “beloved”. 

I think Rihanna sang it best:  We found love in a hopeless place.  That’s basically what happened with me.  I wanted a color that was passionate, glowing, rich, warm and delicious.  That is Dulcinea.

— Elena

DESCRIPTION:  A berry red with vibrant glowing metallic shimmer

OPACITY:  Two coats

Holy freaking moly.  Are you seeing this?  This is the red that ends all reds.  Your date night red, your hot mama red. The red you wear when you want to feel less sweatpants-y but also still be in sweatpants. Well, if you’re me, that is. All the rest of you, I’m sure, can figure out more proper uses that doesn’t require a nap for good measure.

LOVE YOURSELF FIRST 

Love yourself first.  Simple enough, right?  We all struggle everyday with putting our needs first.  We are programmed to think it’s selfish and wrong, self-serving.  Guess what?  It’s not.  If we love ourselves first, we are happy.  If we are happy, it is felt by those around us.  Ultimately, we make the world around us better.

I was given a gift that was inscribed with “love yourself first” the weekend I asked my husband for divorce.  It reminded me that I was loving me to better my life.

— Elena

DESCRIPTION:  A slight teal green base with rose/golden multichrome and large particle color shifting shimmers and scattered holo

OPACITY:  Two coats

Elena described her vision of this color as all the colors you see reflecting off of sun shining on water.  And you know what?  NAILED IT doesn’t even begin to describe this scenario.  Lindsey, you get a horn toot!

THE ROUND UP 

OMG.  Have you ever?  (No, you have not.)

If y’all know even a smidge of the magic that is Tonic Polish, it’s about to get all sorts of elbow jabby in here real quick. A bonafide frenzy, is what I mean.  Here’s your shopping deets:

Full collection retails for $77

Single bottles (although, why?!) are priced as follows:

Lemons & Cream – $11

Novitiate, Fecundity 10, Lagniappe, Dulcinea and Love Yourself First – $12 each

Spectre – $13 (she fancy!)

This collection releases Wednesday, November 15 at 8pm CST and will most likely sell out completely about 8pm and 1 second later, so setting 17 alarms and putting Post-Its on all your surfaces makes the most logical sense.  Cuz who’s missing out on all this gorgeous goodness?  CERTAINLY NOT YOU.  Lindsey does say the polishes are not limited edition and will continue to be restocked.  However, why delay happiness?  Tonic Polish up top, people!  Seriously.  I MEAN IT.

Where to buy:  http://www.tonicpolish.com

More clicking opportunities! Connect with Tonic:

Instagram

Facebook 

Fan Group

And some bonus clicking! Elena’s linky things:

Instagram 

Polish ReVamped Facebook Group

Well look at you, reading all the way to the bottom and stuff.  As always, thank you.  Come back tomorrow for more blog-y type things, k?  K.  

Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

I woke up this morning with my fat cat sitting right on my chest.  For one, he never does this.  In the 7 years I’ve had him, the amount of ignoring far outweighs the amount of cuddles.  In fact, if a cat can purposefully pick up his body and shift it so he doesn’t have to look at you and/or can pretend you don’t exist, my cat has figured out the way.  He’s quite overachieve-y in that regard.

But for two, by “morning” I mean 12:41 in the afternoon so I’m pretty sure he was only on my chest to make sure no one died and there’d be snacks soon.  I get it.  That’s why hubby and I are still married; without him, I have no idea how food is ever gonna make it’s way out of the kitchen.  Seriously, he’s been at work all day and not one time has a bag of chips just appeared in my hand.  NOT ONCE.  Why I’m not skinnier, I have no idea.

I’ve got a ton of pretties to show you today!  Tonic Polish has a huge release coming out tomorrow, so I can either ramble on for lightyears, or we can just get to it.  Cuz the last time I rambled, all the polishes sold out before I posted and then ugh, blog ruined.  Who’s interested in writing a decades-long post for no dadgum reason?  NOT ME.  So let’s get this thing published today, then, shall we?

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

First off is the Four Seasons collaboration with Femme Fatale, a 4-piece set inspired by Vivaldi’s violin concertos.  I have just the Tonic half to show you, so go ahead and get your drool buckets handy.  Cuz you’re about to suuuuuuper unattractive, that’s why.

Here is Promise of Spring:

This one is a pale metallic yellow-green Lumichrome that shifts to mint green and blue with a scattered holo shimmer.  It is the perfect spring color, fresh and lighthearted.  You’re definitely buying one bottle of this, plus 27 back up bottles in case of accidental painting of all the surfaces.

Check her out under the lamps:

Have you ever seen such a glow?  Gah!  It’s so pretty, guys.  About 2.5 seconds away from HAND MODEL! with this mani, I’m almost certain.

Close up of those goodies:

You done died.  You did.

The other half is Bleeding Heart Sunset:

This one has an orchid/lavender base with a strong glowing pink multichrome shimmer that shifts to peach and gold with scattered holo shimmer.  It represents the summer concerto, all intense and sultry.  A sexy little mama; like me but with less pajamas.

Under the lamps, you can see the orchid:

Holy moly!  Are you sweaty? Cuz I’m sweaty.

A macro, for extra convincing:

The Four Seasons collaboration set is available (with the two shades from Femme Fatale) for $40 but you can buy them individually for $12 each.

And just cuz I am nothing if not thorough, here is the info on the Femme Fatale portion:

Ice-Kissed Grove:  a soft grey jelly base with turquoise overlay, green/blue iridescent flakes, scattered holographic accents and fine silver microglitter (inspired by the winter concerto)

Woodland Mosaic:  a soft purple-hued jelly base with strong copper/gold overlay, red iridescent glitters, iridescent flakies and holographic microglitter (inspired by the autumn concerto)

Welp, we want all those.  Moving on!

Another new release is the May Babies Duo in honor of Lindsey’s son, Nico, who turns 4 this month.  Each polish is named after a line in the Dr. Seuss book, Oh the Places You’ll Go, one of Nico’s favorites.  Get ready for an insane display of green.  And lots and lots of noodle legs.

First up is You’ll Move Mountains:

This is a straight up glowing emerald green, no frills, just beauty to the trillionth percent. OMG, it just got stupid in here.  What are words?  What is breathing?  What is not having your tongue loll about outside your body?  I swear my brain has just up and gone somewhere.  I can’t handle this much green all in one place.  Forget noodle legs; I need an old fashioned fainting couch and one of those cute boys to point a fan at me.  STAT.

It’s an drooling epidemic:

No cure.  Oh well.

The other half of the duo is The Places You’ll Go:

This one has an emerald green base with a green/blue/purple/pink/gold shifting multichrome shimmer.  Everything about this is lovely.  So rich and bold, a luscious vibrant color.  Mouths hanging open, everywhere.  Seriously, I dare you stay upright after this.

See:

BIG. PUDDLE. OF GOO.  At the minimum.

If you buy this polish, it comes with a little extra special something.  Brittany from The Holo Pineapple has created this spectacular matching necklace.  Look at all these pendants:

So much shift!  I’ll take a billion, thanks.

The polishes in the May Babies Duo are only sold separately.  You’ll Move Mountains is $10 and The Places You’ll Go is $20 and comes with the necklace.  They are both limited editions that will restock once in June and then again later before the winter holidays.

The last release is the Spring 2017 Collection:

Three multichromes plus three shimmering cremes equals six ways to lose control of all your words.  Seriously, it’s moan-y throat noises from here on out.

First up is Aurora Sunset:

This one is an orchid leaning pink jelly with strong turquoise/purple shifting shimmer and ultra holo micro glitters.  I stinkin’ love this!  This color is amazing!  And the shimmer … ugh.  The shimmer got me, guys.

Get this on yer nails:

Have you ever?!  NO YOU HAVE NOT.

Next up is I Pink You Blue Me Off:

This one is a bright blue cream with pink shimmer that shifts to yellow.  I’ll just say it now: my swatches don’t even begin to show you the beauty of this polish.  Photographing these shimmery cremes was hard, y’all.  Although, this macro looks pretty dang good:

If you love blue, or pretty things in general, you’re gonna want this one.  It’s definitely a cheerful shade.  In the cart she goes!

Now here’s Foxfire:

This one is a metallic rosegold to yellow gold shifting multichrome with scattered holographic shimmer.  Seriously, who just wrapped me up in a toasty blanket and handed me a bunch of baby kitties?  Cuz the level of happiness over here is downright superhuman.  Is Leonardo coming?  I expect yes. 

Macro, i.e., all your polish dreams come true:

Plus pajamas.

Next is Deep Sea-crets:

This one is a bright turquoise creme with peachy pink shimmer that shifts to yellow.  Another one hard to photograph, but hopefully you can see how much you lub it anyway.  I mean, the turquoise base color is enough to make you pass out every 15 seconds.  

Macro for extra WANT factor:

I mean, you’re getting all these, so at this point the blog has become moot.

Here’s Titanium Orchid:

This one is a member of the Lumichrome family and is a pale metallic multichrome that shifts from cool lavender to peach to gold with scattered holographic shimmer.  Isn’t it glorious?  Who else just got suuuuuuuper unattractive just now?  Well, there’s only so much sexy to go around while the Ugly Ecstasy Face is having a moment.  I mean, if you feel like getting drool-y in private, now’s a good time. 

Macro, for funsies:

Just kidding.  It’s serious business in here.  Tonic is legit no joke.

Lastly, it’s Endless Shrimp:

This one is a soft coral creme with pale green shimmer, and if we haven’t sealed the deal by now, I am var var concerned about the state of your brain.  Decisions: And How to Make Them.  Get on it.

Naturally, I end on the swatch photo where I didn’t do so good.  I didn’t plan that out well, clearly.  However, let me reassure you – there’s nothing in this collection you don’t want.  Unless you hate happiness.  Or you have no eyes.  I dunno.  

Shimmer says hi:

DONE.  You’re about to spend some money, I just know it.

The round up:

The Spring 2017 Collection retails for $60, but if you want single bottles they are $10 (for the shimmering cremes) or $12 for the multichromes.

There is an option to get THE WHOLE SPRING SHEBANG which is $138 and includes the 4-piece collab with Femme Fatale, the May Babies Duo with the necklace, the 6-piece spring collection PLUS a surprise polish called Come Wander, a periwinkle holographic base with a pink multichrome shimmer that shifts to golden green and some iridescent color changing flakies.  No swatches, as it was a last minute addition, but we hoard alllllllll the polish round here.  Cuz rational behavior is for other people.

You can, however, buy it individually for $13, if you choose.  But we’ve already discussed the plan, and it’s kinda sorta written in stone (with waiver, disclaimer, blood sample and pinky swear), soooooo … every single one of these, SOLD.  It’s a grabby fingers epidemic.

IMPORTANT RESTOCK INFO:

In addition to all the new stuffs, there will be a few other extras added to the shop.  A couple of special editions from some past collab boxes – I Glitterally DGAF from Acetone Alley and Manna’s Mystical Masterpiece from last quarter’s The Color Box – will be available for $12 each.

Also, Alexandria’s Genesis will be rejoining the Tonic lineup in honor of their almost 1-year anniversary, available for $10.

Older colors plus the Tonic Topper quick dry top coat will be restocked in limited quantities.

Now, for the most important part.  You got your focus face on, cuz this is basically a POLISH EMERGENCY:

The release happens tomorrow, May 7 at 2pm CST.  In the past, Tonic has sold out very quickly during all their releases and restocks, so if 17 alarms and Post-It Notes on all your surfaces sound like a good idea to you, you are correct and we are officially best frans.  You can continue to read this blog.

Click here for shopping!  Later, loves!

• SUPER DUPER PRESS SAMPLES •

For real, would it kill my cat just one time to let me kiss him on the mouth without him wiggling away from me in disgust?  I mean, the more he doesn’t want me to do it, the more I have to. It’s the basic law of the universe. Cuz I can hold my breath for 17 seconds just fine until I’m told I have to hold my breath for 17 seconds.

Even the fact I know my boy cat sticks his face in my girl cat’s butt doesn’t seem to be much of a deterrent on my part. I’m not sure what that says about me as a person. Either I’m the most dedicated cat lover that ever lived, or something is clearly wrong with my brain. Cuz this girl wouldn’t dare eat a deformed M&M since those are clearly the poison ones. But cat mouth that just spent a couple minutes hovering around a butthole? Not fazed.

Okay, it’s definitely my brain. I have no idea how I’m still married.

I have some lovely holiday polishes from Tonic Polish to share with you today. This collection was released once already, but sold out in roughly an hour, so I had to postpone this blog until the next release. Which is happening tomorrow, so get your shopping hands ready.  And prepare your eyes:

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Now you understand how these things disappeared so fast. They are some of the prettiest polishes you will ever own, I swear.  My swatches, I’m afraid, don’t even do them justice. But here’s my best effort anyway.  Lesssss go!

First up is Magnetic Midnight:

Do you see that camera freak-out?  So much holo and shift and nail polish goodness, my camera just like shrugged it’s shoulders and went back to bed.  But then I dragged its ass back out and said WE ARE NOT QUITTERS.  So here’s more pics:

This one is a medium cobalt blue that shifts from purple, red and even gold at the furthest angle with scattered holo and tiny silver micro glitters.  Formula was thicker than expected cuz all these polishes looked so delicate and ladylike to me.  But NO.  They were all two coaters and perfect for women on the go – like me.

Just kidding.  I like pajamas.

Next up is the fan favorite, Dragon Tears:

If someone was to ask me which one is a must have cuz they were unable to get the whole collection, Dragon Tears would be it.  My brain literally stopped holding my mouth closed on this one.  There might’ve been a drooling-type scenario in progress as well.  It’s THAT gorgeous.  I mean, you’ll look like a melting puddle of goo.  But your nails will be spectacular.

Lindsey used the shiftiest pigment she could find – and the result is mindblowing.  We’ve got it shifting through the entire rainbow, from green to blue, purple, red, peach, gold and back to green again.  Add more scattered holo and micro glitter, and you might as well just lay down and faint for a second.

And this macro:

You done died.  You did.

Next is Alchemy:

For me, this one competes really well with Dragon Tears cuz it’s got all my warm, cozy colors in it.  It looks like a campfire, does it not?  (It does.  I checked.)

Alright.  Now it’s just getting ridiculous.  How fabulous does this look under the lamps?  This is a red, pink, orange, and gold shifting multichrome with a blue/purple shadow.  More holo.  More glitter.  More fainting.

Someone, bring me my smelling salts, stat.

This macro makes me sleepy, but in a good way:

Holy moly, she’s pretty!

For the most unique of the bunch, I give you Incandescent:

I’m looking at you like, Right?! Right?!  And you are nodding your head in agreement because we’ve all been brainwashed at this point.  There’s no walking away now.  This collection has sucked you in and all six are going in the basket!

How often do you hear the phrase metallic ballet pink with peach and icy lemon yellow shift?  Damn near never.  That’s why I love it so.  It’s truly magical, and maybe this one is my favorite now.  I dunno.  My brain hurts from too much decisioning.  

Now we have Luminescent:

Like gossamer wings.  Angel dust.  It’s ethereal and ghostly and all things beautiful.  I’d tell you you want this, but you already know.

This one is a delicate metallic aquamarine with a soft shift of pale blue and lilac purple.  It’s seriously stunning.  I’m about to lose all the words and make groan-y throat noises instead.  Uhhhhhhhnnnnnnn.  See?

Last one is Stars at Twilight:

This one is a little different from the others as it’s creme based, but OH MY.  I can’t deal with all this pretty.  Seriously.  Someone is just gonna have to put the mashed potatoes in my mouth for me cuz I’ve done floated out of my own body.  It’ll make for an interesting Christmas dinner to say the least.  Ugh.  

This one is a dark denim blue cream with red, pink, and gold shifting shimmer with silver holo micro glitter.  No holo this time, but every bit of gorgeous, clearly.

If you’re not properly convinced, here’s a macro to make you rethink your life choices:

And my job here is done.

The round up:

This entire collection – plus several other of Tonic’s other lovely polishes – will be available tomorrow on the Color4Nails website.  I’m not even joking when I say to set a dang alarm.  Store opens at 11am PST (2pm EST) and you don’t want to miss it.

HOWEVER.  In case you somehow forget to rearrange your priorities (Tonic Polish up top, people!), Lindsey will be restocking them in her Etsy shop sometime after the new year.  So join her Facebook group (click here) and then watch her Etsy shop (click here) and be in the know.  You won’t regret, you’ll probably even thank me for it – and in that case, I like Starbucks and Visa gift cards.

Hope everyone is having happy holidays!  I want to say thank you to all my friends who continue to read this ridiculous blog ALL THE WAY TO THE BOTTOM.  You make my heart feel good.

Later, loves!