• A PRESS SAMPLE FANDANGO •
We’re all about to break the internet, but for real this time. Cuz first there was Kim Kardashian with a champagne glass balanced on her butt (where we thought we broke it, but alas, false alarm), but now Tonic Polish is this month’s featured brand for Multichrome Madness and OMG YOU GUYS it’s a bye bye normal things-type situation for all of us. No more standing around upright, buying nail polish like someone civilized. Cuz when we break the internet, we dadgum BREAK IT break it. The legitimate version, you know, with elbow jabs and drool buckets and at least 27 other levels of unsexy behavior. We’re about to have the frenzy to end all frenzies, plus a poke in the eye for the judgy people. It’s seriously about to get ridiculous, just so you know.
Welp. There goes anything ladylike. Once again, Tonic got me good.
In an attempt to post this blog before the polishes go away forever (i.e., most ideal), we’ll make it short and sweet. I’m struggling with writing today cuz Tonic turns my brain into something less like a brain and more like a bowl of oatmeal without any sugar or chocolate in it (as in, the most USELESS thing of all time). And I’m really trying to be a proper blogger for once, you know, with actual information in it. But then I get to rambling about nonsense, talking about false teeth or the time I left the cardboard applicator on the inside or that punching a Christmas tree thing, and before you know it … BLOG = spiraled all to hell.
See? I’m doing it again. OMG, who’s annoying? Here’s the polish:
INNOCENCE
DESCRIPTION: A blue-lilac base with sparkly pink/gold/green multichrome flash and scattered holo
OPACITY: Two coats
My favorite! I love the shifts in this one, especially the gold as it’s such a glorious contrast to the cooler tones. WHAT? Did I just do science? Told ya it was a bye bye normal things-type situation for us all.
And then I took a billion other photos and settled on these three for no reason other than decisioning is HARD.
HUSH
DESCRIPTION: A blue/green/purple multichrome with sparkly pink/gold/green shimmers
OPACITY: Two coats
Okay, now this one is my true favorite! The shift was extremely easy to capture as well. Put my hand under the lamps to snap the pic and the colors immediately jumped out. Four tiny serial killers come to get me, cuz basically I am DEAD. I’ve been voodoo’ed y’all! This polish is stupid pretty, and I am an official puddle of goo.
ZEPPO
DESCRIPTION: a deep purple-y fuchsia/gold/green magnetic multichrome with glowy blue iridescent flakies
OPACITY: Two coats
Forget it. They’re ALLLLLL my favorites. Cuz we got another magnetic and another opportunity for accidental nail art. Except I didn’t do as good this time. I put the magnet in different spots all over the nail and made ZERO designs. Boooo. Although, there’s so much going on in this polish – it’s a multidimensional wonder – that I still don’t think I failed. Reminds me of an artist’s palette with all the different colors swirled next to each other, unblended.
Soooo … nail art, then. I ACCEPT.
Here’s a cut and paste thing on how to do the magnet. I’d type it all out for you, but the cat just laid down next to me and now I can’t concentrate.
1. Apply two coats of nail polish;
2. Immediately after the second coat, hold the thin edge of the magnet as close as possible to the wet polish and hold for about 10-15 seconds;
3. Then top coat like usual.
YOU GUYS. This is the closest I’ve come to being a proper blogger, I think. I wrote an instructional list with words that make sense. More evidence that the Universe has done tipped sideways.
THE ROUND UP
We’re skipping straight to the goods. My brain is already halfway out the door at this point. Var var important information up ahead:
Cost for each polish retails for $13
Cost for the magnet (if you don’t already have one or if you’ve chosen not to purchase the holiday gift set I posted about yesterday, and in which case, THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU) is $2. It’s a neodymium rare earth magnet, and I don’t know what that means in terms of magnets, but the word “rare” is in it and therefore I want to buy 18,000 of them.
This trio releases today, December 9 at 2pm CST. Naturally, the elbow jabs will be at an all-time high; however, RELAX. These beauties will be available until December 31 so everyone gets a chance. Not saying you aren’t justified in karate chopping your way to the front of the line; I’m just saying you don’t have to.
Bahah. Just kidding. YOU HAVE TO. Cuz, TONIC. Duh.
Your Official To-Do List, all typed out so nice and neat cuz I’m feeling a bizarre burst of energy at the moment, and if I don’t do something useful with it, I might accidentally do some laundry or other stupid things. Cuz I don’t know how to manage a burst of energy very well. They don’t happen very often so most likely my brain will try to SHUT THAT SHIT DOWN. But I digress. Your list:
1. Join the Multichrome Madness group on Facebook. It’s required. Click here;
2. Head over to the Tonic Polish store by clicking here;
3. Then toss polish in the cart with your eyes closed, cuz at this point, nothing even matters. WE WANT EVERYTHING.
AND ONE MORE THING.
The Golden Girls quad, a previous Multichrome Madness installment, is coming back as well. Just as an extra thank you for making this year so fabulous for the MM girls. Each polish in the quad retails for $12 and I have zero swatch photos (i.e., excellent blogger skillz), but none of this matters either. In the cart they go! Weeee!
Final list of click-y things. Connect with Tonic Polish:
Now go go go! Let’s break some sales records, shall we? You know, if y’all not busy.
Later, loves!
• A PRESS SAMPLE FANDANGO •
Snacks On Rotation 