Tag Archives: subscription boxes

Feb26

Sample Society | February 2015

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I am at the conclusion of my Los Angeles/Anaheim business trip and realized I have 3 days left of February and 3 reviews left to do. No pressure or anything. But I’m paying $14 for internet so I can blog from the airplane. I would ask for donations from my followers for business expenses, but George Lopez is on this flight so I’m in a particularly good mood.

Here’s my Sample Society:

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I have reviewed the Batiste dry shampoo before. It’s one of the very first reviews I did on this blog over a year ago. And everything I said back then still rings true right now – Batiste is the best dry shampoo I’ve ever used. They have several different scents plus colored powder for dark hair. I’ve never used the colored powder so I can’t vouch for its efficacy. I just know if I don’t see white powder residue all over my scalp, there’s been a horrific malfunction. See, the white powder means it’s working. I’m not sure if that’s the official scientific explanation, but if psychological brain trickery is indeed a real thing, then white powder = success.

Aside from all that, I don’t wanna use any other brand besides Batiste. Nothing beats it. I’ve tried so many others. I’d say Klorane is a very good equivalent, if you care to pay more than double for it. You do you, boo boos. I’d never judge someone for paying more for something that a drugstore product does just as well. I mean, have you seen my foundation collection? We all have our weaknesses.

Y’all know I have no interest in nail polish, or at best a mild one, so the only time I perk up is if I get sent a really unique color, or maybe if it’s one from France. I don’t have a love relationship for the Nails Inc brand by any means, but this blue-grey shade in Princess Place is really quite lovely. I love the colors of Spring; they bring a peaceful happiness into my life. So if that doesn’t constitute a medical necessity, I don’t know what else does. There could even be a tax deduction loophole in there somewhere. Or at least there should be.

I’m wearing the nail polish right now. I put it on 6 days ago before my trip to Los Angeles commenced. Chip status is minimal. However, I haven’t done dishes for a week so I’m not sure if that has anything to do with it. In any case, I’m happy with it.

One thing I could absolutely give a ho hum pig’s bum about is perfume. I don’t care where it comes from – France, Italy, the tomb of Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt – I just don’t care. Receiving this Chloe Love Story perfume just about made me take a nap. It may be the most glorious perfume that ever existed, but it just gets lost on me. But for the sake of this review, and the fact I’m in a good mood (see George Lopez, above), I will give you the notes:

Orange blossom oil, which is supposed to emulate the flush of new love. Then a little jasmine mixed in to give it heart (whatever that means). Finally it’s grounded with fresh cedar wood to give it an enduring base. The style is feminine, sophisticated and sensual. Everything you’d ever want in a perfume. Not me, mind you, but everyone else. Even after that intoxicating description, my face still looks like this:

-__-

Received three little one-time use full-size pods of Nugg face masks. These are freaking adorable, are they not? So much better than a foil packet if you ask me. CEOs – take note! Nobody likes a foil packet. But these little tubs? Precious. Most likely contains the same quantity of a foil packet, but that is NOT. THE. POINT.

The three masks I got were Deep Cleansing, Hydrating and Revitalizing. I haven’t used them all, just the hydrating one, and it was pretty nice. It was basically a goopy, gel-like moisturizer that you slather on and leave for 5-10 minutes. Nothing over the top fancy, but if you’re like me, the cuteness will suck you in anyway. Plus, the convenience of these little pods will soothe your little obsessive cleaning disorder like a champ. How tidy is opening a pod, using the contents, then throwing the pod away? About as tidy as you can get. I’ve literally got goosebumps right now just talking about it.

Last product in the box is the StriVectin Intensive Illuminating Serum. Now if you’ll recall, Sample Society accidentally included this same sample in our January boxes as well. So I have two samples, and I actually got around to using one of them just in time for this review. I’ve been into it for about a week, and while I can’t say it’s working any illuminating miracles upon my face, the texture of this is pretty nice. It evaporates in seconds, so it speeds up my nighttime routine which is a good thing. Cuz fitting in 17 steps of skincare every evening sometimes overwhelms me. This serum doesn’t knock out a step or anything, but I don’t have to wait several minutes for it to sink in before I can move on to moisturizer. I can literally do my entire regime in like 30 minutes instead of 35. How awesome is that? (Not terribly, but you take what you can get.)

We’re at the end. Now officially on schedule, review-wise, if I can focus these next two days. I’m going to make an honest effort at the very least. Thanks for putting up with me, for not leaving even though I disappeared on you for a week. I can’t say I had a choice, what with working (and George Lopez) and all that. It’s that L.A. life. The struggle is real.

Bye, friends!

Feb20

Ipsy | February 2015

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Did everyone survive Valentine’s Day?  I did, but barely.  I mean, after the business of receiving two vases of flowers, eating three chocolate covered strawberries, having a gourmet steak dinner prepared specially for me, AND spending an entire $100 Sephora gift card in one go, I’m downright exhausted.  It’s so hard to be me, you guys.  SO. HARD.

Here’s my Ipsy:

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It’s a so-so box.  Presently I am using two of the five items.  May use a third item, but I haven’t made up my mind yet.  Let’s review!

I don’t have much use for hair products since my daily routine consists of a brush and that’s it.  Unless you count the trash can where I put all the hair that sheds off me, that is.  So getting this Eva NYC Up All Night volumizing spray was 100% a non-event.  But for the sake of this review, and the fact I am a PROFESSIONAL, I decided to give it a try on hair washing day.  This is a major thing – and proof of my love for you – because there was a very strong chance I’d have to wash my hair twice.  Volumizing products and my fine hair don’t play well together.  I haven’t met one yet that didn’t produce a sticky-up hair scenario, and not in the good way.

I applied this very carefully to my damp roots and then scrubbed my scalp with my fingers to distribute evenly.  And then blow dried my hair and prayed to Jesus.  Surprisingly, this did not make my hair feel scummy and gross.  It still felt clean with maybe a hint of product residue.  I can handle a hint.  I didn’t get bouncy big Texas hair from it, though.  I’d say the volumizing was kept to a minimum.  It was there but not there there.  Probably because I baby-stepped my way with it and sprayed less than I should have.  Cuz if there’s one hair item that scares me the most, it’s volumizers.  I just don’t have time to fiddle with two hair washings in one day.  I can barely do one washing, but I force myself because society (and the HR Department) tells me I have to.

Long story short: I’m giving this away to a friend.

Next up is the Mitchell and Peach Fine Radiance face oil.  I’m not a die hard face oil user, but I’m also not opposed to it.  Last time (and only time) I fell in love with a face oil, it was a dilo oil from Kate Somerville, and nothing has came close to it since.  This Mitchell and Peach one is alright.  It comes from England in case that makes it sound more interesting (it does).  The texture is a little odd.  It’s an oil, but as you’re rubbing it in it starts to turn dry, almost powdery.  Not a nice powdery, but an on-the-verge-of-flaking-off kind of powdery.  Doesn’t last long as it sinks in pretty quick, but for those brief powdery moments, I feel as if all the water has been sucked out of my body.  That’s probably an exaggeration.  But only slight.

On the plus side, it has a mild scent.  Not one of those organic, earthy, braggy scents that act like grass, dirt and ylang-ylang is something to be proud of.  It has a skosh of herby-ness, but it’s mostly undetectable.  I think there’s some florals in there, so that’s nice.  I’m going to continue to use it.  Maybe not all the way to empty, but I’m okay with it for a bit.

I’ve decided I’m just not one for lip stains.  I’ve tried many of them, and they just don’t do it for me.  Not that this City Color one is a bad product or anything; I’m simply not excited.  Like, I wouldn’t karate chop you in the throat over it, that’s how I know our love isn’t real.  This stain, while the Flirtini color is an alright rose pink shade, is super slick on the lips and dries while retaining a bit of moisture.  Enough moisture where your lips don’t get stuck together – trust me, I’ve been through that before and 100% DO. NOT. RECOMMEND – but I honestly don’t know where the term “creamy” comes from.  I didn’t really feel like it stained much either.  But everyone else on Ipsy loves it, so what do I know?  I don’t like stains so I’ll probably never be impressed with any of them.  Unless it’s made in France, then we’ll see.

Got a nice little blush from ModelCo in the shade Cosmopolitan, which is a ballerina pink.  I like it.  Gives you a natural looking flush.  Decently pigmented, not too much sparkle.  Cute little travel sized compact.  What’s not to love?  I had one of these before that I got in a Boxycharm box ages ago.  I had it for about 2.5 seconds before it rolled off my couch to it’s crumbled, shattered death.  So I’m happy to welcome it back with open arms.

Last product in the box is the Emite Make Up eyelash curler.  I’ve not ever been big on curling my eyelashes.  Primarily because my lashes are short little babies and getting them inside an eyelash curler is practically an Olympic sport. So this one doesn’t offer any type of miracle for me. I get it as close as I can to my eyeball and in turn pinch my eyelid instead of curl any lashes. But when I move it further out, I end up crimping my eyelashes right in the middle. It’s a lose-lose situation. However, what this tool does offer is a super cushy red pad that feels reallllly good as you clamp the curler closed. If I had longer lashes, I think I’d love this thing. And if YOU have longer lashes, you can go ahead and sit back down. Nobody likes a winner.

Okay, time for night night. I’m headed to Los Angeles for a work thing tomorrow morning. If I get some free time, I’ll do a post for you while I’m out there. If not, well LOS ANGELES. I don’t understand your question.

Bye!

Feb2

Ipsy | January 2015

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Things I did over the weekend that kept me from blogging the very last review for the month of January:  watched 3 episodes of Intervention, drank two frozen cocktails in a Stella Artois glass which may or may not be illegal, went to Ulta for a “minute” and returned about 1.45 hours later, wore an excessive amount of pajamas, went out to brunch (surprisingly while not in pajamas), transcribed a 17-year-old list of books I’ve read into the spreadsheet app on my iPad (possible evidence of nerd tendencies), and “watched” the Superbowl while thumbing through two old issues of US Weekly.

Sorry about my charmed life.  But without further ado, here’s my Ipsy:

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Wish I could say this review is worth waiting for, but it’s kind of a non-event.  I don’t hate the box, but I’m not beside myself with excitement either.  The best thing about the box was right before I opened it.  That feeling is what keeps me subscribed.  Let’s begin!

First item is the La Fresh Eco-Beauty Good Day moisturizer.  It comes in a Capri Sun package.  Isn’t that nifty?  Better than one of those horrid one-time-use packets, though.  I’m thinking there’s enough in here to last a couple weeks probably.  And since it’s a day moisturizer, I’ll have to wait to use it until I’m finished with my current day moisturizer.  Should be soon, although nearing the bottom of the jar isn’t always as close as it seems.

There are a lot of conflicting reviews on the Ipsy site.  Some people said it does not smell very good, which should be the number one concern of any skincare company.  Not efficacy, but smell.  Because it’s really hard to continue using a product no matter how much of a miracle it is if the dang thing stinks.  Although I suppose I’m the least credible source for this assumption – I used an entire bottle of exfoliator made out of salmon eggs on purpose.

And then there are those who says it’s not very moisturizing and that it’s greasy, while others declare the opposite.  I guess it’s up to me to settle this debate.  So stay tuned for a future Empties post and I’ll let you know.

Well who doesn’t love getting a new makeup brush? (Crazy people.)  So while I didn’t necessarily need one, receiving this Elizabeth Mott All Over Shadow brush suited me just fine.  It’s got a pretty pink handle with lovely white and pink bristles.  Applies eyeshadow just like any standard brush, though.  I’ve had denser brushes for this purpose, but can’t say I prefer it one way or the other.  I just threw it in my brush cup and moved on with my life.  I’ll use it; what more can you expect?

Y’all know I struggle with an acute case of the Straggly Lip Skin.  I don’t know why I’m constantly picking flakes off, even though I exfoliate and lube up every evening.  Perhaps I’m using the wrong products.  My friend has used mentholatum for over 20 years and she’s never had this issue.  But then again, her husband hugs his edge of the bed for dear life because she smells like a medicine cabinet.  And while I’m not opposed to owning my 2/3 of the bed, I just haven’t went the mentholatum route yet.  Instead, I buy a lot of hocus pocus from Sephora and Ulta and just know one day I’m gonna hit the lip lottery.  Enter the Jouer Essential Lip Enhancer. Annnnd … it’s just okay.

This stuff is like a thick oil that coats and shines up your lips.  It doesn’t have the most amazing smell, but it’s not gross either.  I only use this right before bed, so I don’t know how it performs during the day, but it feels like it would protect my lips from the fan that blows straight on me for at least 8 hours straight.  In the morning, the oil has worn away and there’s minimal straggly bits, but they are not completely gone.  So for me it’s just a middle of the road product.  However, it does claim to increase the size of your lips and decrease fine lines.  Not even sure that’s an actual, possible thing in the $16 price range.  However, if you wanna pay like $600, you can achieve these results with Juvederm*.  (*Not a sponsored statement – no company gives a shit about my blog.)

Least favorite thing in the box is this BellaPierre Shimmer Powder in Whesek.  First of all, what kind of name is Whesek?  Is that a thing I don’t know about – like a new species of animal or an exotic food?  Is it a town in the English countryside?  Regardless, I didn’t even use it because how many times do I enjoy a loose eyeshadow?  If you guessed ZERO, you’d be right.  It’s just messy and annoying.  Could be the most beautiful color in the world, but I’ll never know.  Passing this along to my daughter who probably doesn’t enjoy loose eyeshadow either but does enjoy free things.  Cuz free trumps practical about 97.906764% of the time.

Last product is this Pacifica Coconut Eye Shadow in Ethereal.  Looks like a boring champagne colored eyeshadow, right?  Welll, it is.  Except I liked it a lot.  I thought it had a nice brightening effect on my eyelid, even though that could be psychological brain trickery of which I am highly susceptible.  I used it with a primer (via MAC Paint Pot in Painterly), and eyeshadow always looks better when paired with this.  It went on smooth and stayed vibrant all day.  I’ve decided to keep it, which is a pretty big deal for a basic color like this.  However, if you’re looking to buy this single, you can’t.  Pacifica only sells the Coconut eye shadow in palettes.  Luckily, they’re available and Target and therefore not super expensive.  Some good news for your Monday.

We’re done.  I have the most annoyingly ginormous Empties post to write, and I’m almost certain it’s going to take eons to finish.  I’m gonna start now so you can read it somewhere around 2017.  Laters.

Jan29

Sample Society | January 2015

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You know you have a problem when it’s only 29 days into the new year and you’re already halfway through to qualifying for VIB Rouge for 2016.  I saw this today – right after I clicked the “submit order” button – and was like whaaaa?!  Part of me was ashamed, but then the other 99% of me was like HECK YES.

Here’s my Sample Society:

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We got six products in the box instead of five this time, but Sample Society has since issued a statement that said they were so excited for February’s inclusion of the StriVectin Intensive Illuminating Serum that they accidentally put it in the January box.  In other words, we are getting this serum two months in a row now.  Well, hope it’s good then.

I do like those keywords like “intensive” and “illuminating” though.  Anything that claims to brighten my skin, even my tone and replace my old face for a new one is instantly my new best friend.  Those are the things I look for in a serum.  I want the skin of a 14-year-old.  I want all my splotches and old pimple scars to kindly get the hell out.  If I can look at myself bare faced and not cringe and say dirty words, then you can guarantee I’m buying 57 boxes of the product that caused it.

I’m not one for bars of soap, but this Erno Lazslo Sea Mud cleansing bar is a cult favorite among famous people, and because I am extremely shallow and easily swayed by such ridiculous facts, I am now looking forward to using it.  Here are some other reasons you will want to buy this:

1)  It’s formulated from dead sea mud derived from the Jordan River.  Ummmm, hello?  Jesus was baptized in the Jordan River.  The end.

2)  If you need a second reason, I will pray for your soul.  Because JESUS.  In the JORDAN RIVER.

It is kind of a funny little thing though, cuz there are some very specific instructions to using this product.  On a wet face, you apply the bar directly to your skin and massage all over.  Then set the bar aside and continue to massage your face with your fingertips.  And then you MUST splash your face with water 30 exact times.  Not 27, not 32, but 30 dadgum times or it doesn’t count and you have to start all over.  Well you don’t, but I do believe they are serious about the 30 times.  The problem with this splashing technique is that it never results in the same way as tv-commercial-splashing.  If anyone out there manages this without flooding your own bathroom, please let me know.

If you’ve been reading my blog, you are quite aware I have a zero-level love affair with nail polish.  However, if boxes insist on sending me nail polish, it better be Zoya and it better be a cool, unique color like this mint green called Tiana.  I love this shade!  It speaks of spring and warmer days ahead.  It’s a happy color, and I always want to surround myself with happy colors.  Plus the Zoya brand is such an easy, effortless nail polish to wear.  Their color range is outstanding.  If you can’t find one to call your very own, I’d be surprised and very worried at how color blind you must be.

Okay, this Philip B light weight deep conditioning crème rinse says it makes hair crazy shiny and that it’s suitable for fine hair.  I agree that those with fine hair would definitely benefit from this conditioner because it is so light weight it feels like absolute nothing on the hair.  I applied a quarter size amount to my ends, and this product disappeared into oblivion and almost made me think I imagined the whole thing.  Now, this may or may not be what you like in a conditioner.  I am of the may-not category.  I need to feel the conditioner slathered on thick and creamy.  Make me really believe it’s working, you know?  It may not work worth a shit, but at least make me think it does.  A lot can be said for psychological brain trickery.  That’s how I justify pricey skin care.

I ended up squeezing out the entire sample tube in an effort to get that luxurious, creamy effect.  And it just didn’t happen.  So I rinsed it out and moved on with my life.  As for the shiny hair claim, this stuff is chock full of healthy oils, most notably Jojoba which is best known for creating a lovely shine.  Lots of people say it does just that, but I paid absolutely no attention once my hair was dry.  I could’ve had shiny hair for Jesus, but sadly my mind was elsewhere.  However, even if it does do a good job on the shine, I won’t buy it cuz it’s not thick enough for me.

I got a Revlon Photoready Eye Art eyeshadow thingy in the shade Peach Prism.  I would never ever buy this on my own because it is a cream shadow on one end and a glitter on the other.  Two things I don’t ever get excited about.  However, for the sake of this review and I suppose to sate my curiosity (which wasn’t at peak level by any means), I tried it out.  The cream eyeshadow is very metallic, and although Allure Magazine said one swipe will give you a wash of color and two swipes will be opaque, I found this particular color pretty hardcore.  I did one swipe and I looked like a Vegas billboard for eyelids.

The glitter side was clear with lots of peach sparkles in it.  I put it on my inner corner, and it dried like cement.  Not necessarily the most flattering, but probably not too noticeable unless you’re invading my personal space.  In which case, you get a hi-yaaa! to the throat complete with side kick and spitlets and then my glitter cement is the least of your problems.

Just kidding.  I’d probably just say sorry and then go wash my face.

So, bottom line is that I can see where lots of people would enjoy these.  The applicators are very handy and create zero mess unless it’s on purpose.  I’m not a fan of this genre in general, so I’ve stored it away in the Train Case of Forgotten Makeup where it’ll make nice with my hoard of loose eyeshadows and red lipsticks.

Last product in the box is the Philosophy Renewed Hope in a Jar moisturizer.  I had the previous version of the Hope in a Jar and I did not like it that much.  I can’t remember exactly why, only that I threw it away before finishing the sample tube.  But this new one is … ahhhhh! … so lovely.  It has this delicious looking sheen to it that almost makes you wanna eat it. It’s very lightweight and sinks in super fast, then afterwards your face feels like silk. I was reading Allure’s review and they mention how it took them a long time to rub it in, and all I can do is look at them funny. I did not have this experience so I can only assume they are WRONG.

If that is not enough persuasion for you to go on and purchase this product, let me tell you one more thing: it’s called a “whipped” moisturizer. Whipped. That’s like cupcake topping or the middle of an Oreo. If you’re somehow able to walk away after hearing all that, you need to take your show on the road cuz willpower that strong is downright inspirational.

Time’s up. I have a var bar busy night ahead of me. YouTube videos. Ice cream. And Candy Crush ain’t gonna play itself, now is it? More tomorrow friends!

Jan19

Birchbox | January 2015

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This weekend my husband and I drove 45 minutes out of town to eat Italian food at this restaurant in the middle of nowhere.  I say middle of nowhere because it literally drops off the map due to A) they don’t take debit cards and B) my cell phone wouldn’t work in there.  I seriously had to spend the next two hours NOT on Instagram.  Clearly this sounds like torture, and if you’d like to send me a Get Well token, I like gift cards.

Here’s my Birchbox:

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Ho hum pigs bum.  Were you about to say that too?  Cuz it’s true.  Not much to get overly excited about.  It’s not the worst box they’ve ever sent me, though.  I’ll at least use everything in here.  Not with a smile, mind you, but I’ll use them.

I have nothing against the Neil George shampoo and conditioner, but Birchbox has committed a beauty box sin.  I get five samples, Birchbox.  FIVE.  Shampoo and conditioner is a set – they go together, they are one in the same (aside from being different, that is).  I mean, sure you can have a peanut butter sandwich with no jelly, a hamburger with no fries, or a NARS eyeshadow with no Guerlain lipstick.  But do you want to, really?  If you have to consider this question for longer that 2.57 seconds, you may have stumbled upon this blog by accident.

My point is (there is one), I got cheated because someone decided that shampoo and conditioner equaled two individual things when they clearly ARE NOT.  It’s basic math.

But back to the product review.  This set is just fine.  Not too expensive as far as something non-drugstore goes ($9 each).  I was happy to see the shampoo is clear, as I’ve been told that clear shampoos are better for your hair.  I do not know if that’s actually true since I didn’t see this claim with my own eyes.  But it does make sense.

I’m pretty sure I’ve received every Harvey Prince product in existence.  Seriously, if you do a search in this blog, I’m almost certain there’s about 17, 18 posts on his perfumes.  Probably a slight exaggeration, but when you don’t like perfume, it seems like 17 or 18 posts.  At the least.  Anyway, this time they sent a body cream in the Hello scent.  So while I wasn’t overly thrilled or anything, I knew I would use it about 100% more than I’d use another perfume.  Minor success; I’ll take them wherever I can.

This stuff aptly smells like perfume.  But it’s a nice musky scent, which if I’m forced to wear a perfume, I like ’em musky.  Most likely stems from my overuse of Coty Wild Musk as a teenager – my first love.  As far as the cream part goes, it takes a bit to rub in as the white doesn’t melt into your skin immediately.  It’s not a thin lotion consistency, which is probably why they’ve called it a cream.  Hopefully you’ve come here for some obvious information cuz that’s exactly what you got.  I am a PROFESSIONAL, in case you didn’t know.

Y’all know how much I love my Sumita Beauty black eyeliner.  It is hands down the best I’ve ever used in my waterline.  So I was perfectly cool with getting one of their Color Contrast eyeliners in the shade Hansa which is an olive green.  Certainly it would be just as amazing, or that was my expectation anyway.  I don’t know if it’s the color – it’s not a very vibrant olive green, which I suppose is the trademark of olive green (again with the obvious) – but it doesn’t last like the black does.  In fact, I’m looking right now this very second and after 10 hours of wear, the color is barely detectable.  Granted, 10 hours is a very long time, but my black one stays on for over 12.  Okay, I’m being a brat.

I’m not sure if I’m going to keep the liner.  I haven’t tried it on my top lid though, so maybe I’ll try that first before I get rid of it.  Give it the benefit of the doubt.  Not every liner is meant for the waterline – and this one, at least this olive green one, definitely is not.

Last item in the box is the saving grace.  It’s the Miracle Skin Transformer Treat & Conceal eye and face concealer, and I’m loving it so much.  A little tiny bit is all you need.  It’s a dry formula; it sets into a powder.  And surprisingly it didn’t make me look crepey or extra old which a lot of dry, powdery formulas tend to do. I haven’t used it on face splotches or pimple scars yet, but you totally can. But as an under eye treatment, it’s pretty good. One of the better ones I’ve tried. And I’ve tried a lot. Cuz I write a beauty blog and also I have a problem.

Well we’re done now. I’ve got a long awaited Buying Stuff post right around the corner, so stay tuned for that. I know you’re excited (cuz I am the boss of you). Toodles, loves!

Jan16

Glossybox | January 2015

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I got three packages delivered yesterday, and I tried to sneak them into the house without my husband seeing.  I failed.  I think he must hear me open the front door then come running into the room cuz he knows I’m about to bring in an armful of boxes and he likes giving stink eye.  Granted, three packages in one day isn’t my record.  I’ve hauled in seven before.  Someone needs to take away my internet.

Here’s my Glossybox:

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Glossybox is on the ball this month.  I barely finished reviewing December’s box when January’s box was shipped out.  I’m like, Glossybox? Is that you?  You know, because they are usually the very last box to arrive, sometimes into the following month, which irritates a lot of people.  And because of the nature of the products in the box, I’ve sampled everything already so I can give you actual reviews instead of bullshit like normal.  How’s that for a Happy Friday? (Amazing.)

I love it when you run out of a product on one day then receive a replacement in one of your boxes the very next day.  That has A) saved me a trip to Walmart and therefore B) counts as saving money.  Karma at work, people.  Headed to Sephora now.  BRB.

So got this Kueshi Pure & Clean Revitalizing Face Toner.  Toners are always the least exciting of any skin care regime.  I mean, it’s a bottle of liquid.  Not much can be said for it.  However, according to Glossybox’s handy dandy little product card, this is a beauty secret from Spain.  From Spain.  So now you want it.  But also, it controls shine and softens dry spots – that’s a dual action, multi-tasking miracle.  Of course, I don’t know if any of that is true, but the smell of this toner is spectacular.  Smells luscious and juicy – like a peach, maybe, but probably not meant to be a peach.  It’s hard to put a finger on it exactly, but it’s nice.  Oh so very nice.  I would buy this again and again based on the smell.  Probably not the smartest way to go about picking a skin care product, but it beats choosing it based on packaging (which I also do).

I received a little sample of the Skin & Co Truffle Therapy Serum, which I have previously reviewed in a past Empties post that you can read here.  For those of you too lazy to click something with your one finger (I mean, I understand), I’ll give you the short version:  it has a thin consistency; kind of sticky as it dries down, but then afterwards your face is very soft; and it smells kind of coconutty instead of mushroomy.  I enjoyed it very much.  For $80, I bygod better have.

My favorite thing in the box is this absolutely adorable stiff flat eyeshadow brush from Teeez Trendy.  I’m never upset for getting a brush in my box, but this is the first time a brush has wowed me.  It’s different from anything I own.  The bristles are very dense and stiff, and I feel like it deposits a nice, controlled amount of eyeshadow exactly where you want it.  Or if you want it to blur out some stubborn edges, it is “rough” enough to get the job done.  I would say it’s similar to the Sigma E25 or MAC 217 (look at me with my cool brush lingo), but still it’s not the same.  And the handle is cute as a button, which I’ve cleverly disguised behind the serum tube because I take product pictures like a boss.

I was a little indifferent about receiving the Vichy Purete Thermale 3-in-1 Cleanser because I’m overloaded with cleanser samples right now and I figured I wouldn’t get to it for ages. But for the sake of this review, I went ahead and tried it so I could tell you my thoughts. And, omg. Okay, first, it’s not a cleanser in a cleansing sort of way (like I originally thought). It’s a makeup remover. It is a cleansing milk and removes mascara both (plus tones your skin, but I don’t care about that part). Now, as a cleansing milk it performs about like any other cleansing milk I’ve ever used. But as an eye makeup remover – holy moly. This got my mascara off like some serious voodoo magic. I could literally feel it melting underneath my fingertips. And afterwards, my lashes were left so soft and wispy clean. I’m so happy about it right now.

I’ve used the product twice, and the first time I was trying to do face and eyes all at once. Don’t do that. Just do eyes first, then face. Your eyes need total concentration and all your attention. I squirted the product on the tip of my fingers then rubbed them together before putting it on my eye. Trust me; I learned my lesson on that. Last time I put a cream directly on my eye, I gave myself some kind of pink-eye scenario and had to go to work with no eyeshadow and mascara for an entire week. Yes, you can only imagine what that looked like (not good). So once you apply the product, rub your fingers lightly in a circular motion in one direction until you are satisfied the mascara is gone. Didn’t take much effort which is my ideal amount of effort to exude. In fact, if it could take any less effort, someone else would be doing it for me.

Last product in the box was this Lollipops eyeliner in the shade Goodbye Moon. This is a creamy retractable pencil and it glided on nice and neat. But it wasn’t anything more special than any of my other eyeliners, and I still love my Sumita one best. However, if you just wanna own something with cheetah print packaging, I’d say go ahead and buy this. If anyone understands that mentality, it’s me. The color stayed in my waterline pretty good, although I had to wipe the wetness off with a Q-tip first. But I’ve found that trick works on most eyeliners, even the bad ones.

That’s all for now. My iPad has 23% life left right now, and I’m only on level 84 on Candy Crush Soda Saga. I have a var var busy night ahead of me as you can clearly see. More tomorrow, lovies!

Jan4

Glossybox | December 2014

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Happy new year everyone!  We made it to 2015 and we did it TOGETHER.  So officially you’ve entered into a legally binding contract and you are not allowed to leave me.  Like ever.  Bwahahahahahahaha!  (Just kidding;  you love it here.)  Plus, if I didn’t have you guys there would be no reason for me to buy and try 27 different mascaras all at once.  Therefore, technically, I can’t leave you either.

Here’s my Glossybox:

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When I saw that I was getting this Bellapierre lipstick, my first thought was ugh, RED.  I’m not sure how red became the signature color for December, but let me declare officially that not everyone in the universe wears red lipstick for the holidays.  Maybe if you are famous and go to a lot of Hollywood parties.  Or maybe you are Taylor Swift.  But a normal, average, every day girl like me can’t be bothered to A) wear red lipstick for 31 days straight and B) get out of pajamas long enough to go somewhere fancy.  But in an effort to write a proper review, I wore this lipstick (shade: Burlesque) for a total of 2 hours and here are my thoughts:  it is not red, but more of a pink-red.  The texture is creamy; the finish is glossy.  I didn’t hate it.

Hopefully that sums it up for most of you.  I’m going to go ahead and keep it for a minute to see if I end up using it again.  It may live in the Train Case of Forgotten Makeup for the next 7 years, but I suppose you never know.  I do leave my house occasionally.

Got a full-size Toni & Guy Prep leave-in conditioner, and surprisingly I’m okay about that.  I can handle hair products if they come in the form of a leave-in conditioner.  What I don’t prefer is weird hair oils, gel things or root-lifters.  I can never apply the appropriate amount of any of those things and so I end up with dirty, scummy hair.  Plus, when your entire hair routine consists of two steps (blow dry, straighten), using a lot of products makes zero sense.

I have not used this yet.  I am finishing up another leave-in conditioner that I’ve been working on for probably (almost) a year.  Nearing the end (I think – things seems to replicate themselves once I believe I’m about to be done with it), so I’ll get on this soon.  Reviews seem pretty positive; most people said it smelled nice and that it tamed frizz.  Both of those are pretty important to me, so I’m hoping for the best.

Always excited about a good mask, so I’m happy to try this Nuxe Crème Fraiche one.  First of all, they sent a full-size tube valued at $32 which is a great deal considering the box is only $21.  If you’re doing the math, it seems to me that I’ve inadvertently saved money.  Pretty sure that deserves a fancy reward.  Probably gonna buy a Gucci eyeshadow to celebrate.  Because saving $11 to spend $65 makes perfect sense.  I know y’all are nodding your heads in complete agreement, otherwise you may have stumbled across this blog by accident.

This mask is made for all skin types although I would say dry skin would get the most benefit.  My skin is not dry anymore, so not sure what that means for me in terms of effectiveness.  However, Nuxe is made in France so this renders that point MOOT.  Other reviews mention a nice honeysuckle smell (one of my favorites in the entire world) and it plays well with sensitive skin.  Instructions say to apply a nice layer and let it sit for 10 minutes, then rub in the rest of the product until absorbed.  It’s the Lazy Woman’s (i.e., me) perfect mask.  You don’t even need to get off the couch to wash it off.

I haven’t used a hand scrub in light years.  Last time was probably in 2008 and it was a BeautiControl one, back when I thought being one of their sales reps was a good idea (it wasn’t; jobs like that are not for the unmotivated).  So figured it might be kind of fun to get back into it every once in a while.  The Rituals Miracle Scrub is a nice, gentle scrub that will most definitely soften dry hands.  I’m only gonna assume it will also soften dry feet, which is how I think I’m going to actually use this product since my hands aren’t that dry.  I mean, they are princess hands.  They type and they click the check out button.  That’s about it.

Last item in the box is a Ciate nail polish in the color Humbug.  This is a Christmas edition color, so I’m not sure how long the link to the product will be valid. As of right now this very second, you can buy one.  After right now this very second, it’s a crapshoot.  Regardless, you all know how I feel about nail polish.  If you times that by a billion, that’s how I feel about glitter nail polish.  Yes, the glitter looks very pretty and comely in the bottle.  But unless you have a chisel and sand paper, I have no interest in spending my life away trying to remove glitter nail polish.  Not saying this particular Ciate one is like that (since I didn’t try it), but the description says it’s “chunky” – and when has “chunky” ever described anything you wanted?  Unless it is chunky chocolate chips,  I can’t think of any other valid thing.

Alright, gang.  I’m out for now.  Thanks for spending a few moments with me.  Stay tuned for December Empties coming up in the next day or two.  You’re exited.  (Yes, you are.)

Dec31

Blush Mystery Beauty Box | December 2014

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In case you haven’t been reading this blog from the very beginning, you should know the end of December marks my one year blogging anniversary. You have roughly 180 posts to catch up on. Get busy. You should probably call into work tomorrow. Pretty sure this is a legitimate reason. And nothing to do with a New Year’s Eve hangover.

Here’s my Blush Mystery Beauty Box:

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Is it just me or did Blush send this exact same Klorane shampoo with Desert Date in their October box? What the hell, Blush? You couldn’t space out your repeats? I mean, I literally got this two months ago. That’s not near enough time for me to forget about it. On a positive note, I like this shampoo so I’m completely fine with getting another bottle. It’s just weird, that’s all.

I’m currently making my way through the one I got back in October. The smell is luscious. I don’t know what Desert Date is, but it’s glorious. Now there is no conditioner that goes with this shampoo, but it’s so moisturizing that it gets a pass. I’d use this for the rest of my life if I didn’t like to try new stuff all the time. It’s a nice simple shampoo with great smell and softness. Approved! Put it in your basket.

Got this Paula’s Choice Shine Stopper and I got excited immediately. I have been looking for that holy grail product that would keep my t-zone oil under control. This one, however, is a little different from your typical foundation primer. You apply it after your foundation but before your powder. Kind of strange, sort of feels wrong, but the result is oh so right. It sucks the oil off your face like this magical oil sucking machine. Your skin is left powdery soft and gently matte for much longer than normal. But It doesn’t keep the oil from coming back completely although it’s the closest thing I’ve ever tried.

In case you’re wondering, I still hate perfume. I haven’t grown a bit this year as you can clearly see. This Clean Shower Fresh smells good though. Notes are lemon, mandarin, jasmine, orange blossom and musk. It definitely has a fresh, clean scent. I would not be opposed to smelling like this. If I wore perfume. Which I don’t. This paragraph (and this point) is MOOT. Nexxxxxt.

Got a cute little Cargo eyeshadow single in the shade Oz which is – you guessed it – a yellowy gold. It’s a pretty decent eyeshadow. Nice color; nothing too unique, though. Best thing about this, however, is the adorable little tin it’s housed in. I’d buy just about anything if you put it in a tin. A tin makes everything a better and cuter. Well, except for sardines. I draw the line at sardines. Nothing’s helping sardines unless you replace them with chocolate and then sardines are pretty darn cute. With or without the tin.

What is my point? I dunno. The eyeshadow is alright and I’ll go ahead and keep it. Moving on.

But then I got this Lip Fusion Plump and Shine lipstick in the shade Babydoll. Gotta love that code word “plumping” because if you know anything at all about makeup, you’d know that plumping lipsticks are fantasies. They are not real things. They are leprechauns and unicorns. They are Bigfoot and and the Loch Ness Monster. They are cellulite creams and diet pills. You get my drift. But if you are interested in a basic lipstick with a bit of gloss and peppermint tingle, then by all means, have at it. I didn’t find it particularly interesting so I’ve passed it along to my daughter who loves just about anything that’s free (even sardines).

Not that receiving a body lotion is too exciting or anything but I do like this Ahava one. It has a very nice, clean scent. Consistency is slightly better than thin but definitely not thick or rich. Sinks in pretty quick though, so that’s nice. I don’t hate getting samples like this because I know I’ll use them. Sort of the equivalent of getting a box of tampons as a Christmas gift – maybe slightly better. Both useful things, but nothing to trip over your own feet to get to. Trust me, I’ve done that before. It hurt, but it was Chanel so entirely worth it.

Now what in Sam Hell am I supposed to do with this Nuxe Huile Prodigieuse golden shimmer dry oil? I am 40 dadgum years old. Am I off to the school dance? Am I bar hopping with my 22-year-old friends? Am I headed to a New Year’s Eve party with all the other cool people? Sadly, no. None of those things. I am sitting home blogging about how I’m never going to use this golden shimmer dry oil because golden shimmer and pajamas look weird together. Like, I’m pretty sure that’s how crazy starts, and I’m trying to push that moment off for several more years.

Now for one product I do love is this Pixi Endless Silky Eye Pen eyeliner in Teal. Ugh. It’s so creamy and vibrant. Really really lovely. Wouldn’t mind having a few more of these. You know, to go with the 17 Urban Decay 24/7 eyeliners I already own. Well! If you’re going to hoard makeup, do it properly. I’ve only used this on my upper eyelid, so the real test will be if it’ll stay on my waterline as good as my Sumita eyeliner that I cherish and adore. I probably should have tested that out before I wrote this post. Well, I am nothing if not professional.

Perhaps the weirdest thing I got in the box is the Keranique Scalp Stimulating Shampoo. At first I’m like, oh yeah another shampoo. Not exciting, but still useful. Then while copying the link to the product to post in the blog, I see it is one of those infomercial products, and that it helps regrow hair. Mmmmmmm, k. I’m just gonna go ahead and toss this one in the bin. If you wanna know if it works, just read the ad.

Last thing in the bag is this Avene Cleanance soapless cleanser. I’ve used this a couple of times and have officially decided it is the liquidy gel version of Dial bar soap. Has a bar soap smell, isn’t really moisturizing. But it gets you pretty clean. Foams up really really good too. It’s a good soap for oily skin as it helps control sebum production (science!) and refines pore size. So technically, this should be my holy grail cleanser. They sent me a full size bottle so perhaps by the end of it, I will be able to deem it just that.

All in all, I feel like Blush was raiding their samples bins for leftover products that they needed to get rid of. We didn’t even get product cards like we usually do – I had to research on my own how to use some of these things (tragic). I am seriously on the verge of canceling, I think. I’m giving it one more month to straighten up.

That’s it, friends. This is my last post of 2014. Hope it’s ended on a high note for you. And that you’ll come back next year for more fun stuff. And by next year, I mean TOMORROW, just to be clear. Happy new year, y’all!

Dec27

Ipsy | December 2014

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Spent Friday night inside a Best Buy where I purchased a keyboard case for my new iPad, and then somehow ended up switching satellite providers on the way out the door. They seriously just need to SHUT UP with their $100 off instant coupon and $150 gift card promo.

Here’s my Ipsy:

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While not a huge hair product person, I have heard decent things about this Bumble and Bumble stuff. Received the BB Repair leave-in cream. I don’t have a strict opinion on it yet, but so far it seems to be okay. It doesn’t make my hair feel dirty, which that fact alone makes me want to own the full size. I use a dime-sized amount on my super fine hair, but concentrate it mostly from the mid to ends. I don’t dare touch my roots with this stuff because, while I don’t know if it’ll give me scummy hair up there, I’m not taking the chance. Who wants to wash their hair more than twice a week? Not me.

My favorite thing in the box surprises me. It’s the Cailyn mineral eye polish eyeshadow in the shade Orchid. What surprises me is that it’s a loose shadow. But because they put it in a little pot and the applicator is a doe foot sponge on a wand, it’s both fun to apply and easy. If all loose eyeshadows used this method, I would probably go broke owning all the things. But it’s just genius. The color is a nice pinky champagne, so it’s a great lid color that will go with just about any outer v shade. I chose to pat the sponge wand on my lid instead of rubbing it on and I got great coverage. I read some reviews where people said it didn’t show up very well. Obviously they weren’t patting but rubbing. So listen to me – we’re having a teaching moment here – pat on the eyeshadow. Just do what I say. Cuz I am the boss of you.

And even though I have about 17 eye creams in the stash under the sink, I’m cool with getting the Nourish Organic one. I may never get to it before 2021, but that’s beside the point. Has anyone else noticed how long eye creams last? Like I had a Chanel one that was a true sample size – you know, the size that some CEO yelled about in a Marketing meeting that since it was FREE, it should be very very tiny. So they said sample, and they meant it, but the jokes on them because it lasted over a month.

However, back to my point. I’m looking forward to trying the Nourish Organic eye cream in about 7 years.

I love mascara. I’m forever on a journey to find that holy grail. I’ve come super close with several kinds (Marc Jacobs O!Mega, Charlotte Tilbury Full Fat Lashes, even Benefit They’re Real! to name a few), so I was excited to receive the Tarte Lights Camera Lashes. If you read Paula’s Choice Beautypedia reviews, you might know that this one is listed in their BEST category.

So is it BEST? Well, I like it. It does a great job with volume and separation. I applied two coats with no clumping, although my tiniest lashes on the inner corner of my eye went a bit spindly. However, that’s probably just a problem I would have since my lashes are very sparse and thin. I know a lot of people that are just in love with this mascara, so it really varies from person to person. I’m not in love, just kind of casually dating. We see other people.

This blog went weird. Nexxxxxt.

Last product in the box is the NYX Butter lip balm in the shade Parfait. I already own one of these, and they are just great. They feel amazing on the lips. Moisturizing, soft. Smells like candy. The color is pretty sheer, but you can definitely tell it’s there. Add a touch of lipgloss in a similar color and you’d be all set for the day. I’m not opposed to buying more of these. But then again, I buy just about everything.

Enjoy the rest of your day my loves. Thanks for reading my blog. If you’re new, welcome. If you’ve been here before, pat yourself on the back for being so awesome. Til next time, friends.

Dec26

Birchbox | December 2014

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Don’t mind me.  I’m just sitting over here playing with my new iPad Air 2 that my husband got me for Christmas, even though we made an agreement not to do gifts this year.  I’d say I was furious, but that would be a lie.  You read the part where he bought me an iPad Air 2, right?  So even though I gave him nothing in return (except for my undying love for eternity and whatnot), I’m having the best time.

Here’s my Birchbox:

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I’ve received the Rusk Texture Dry Finishing Spray in one of my previous boxes, and I passed it along to someone else that time too.  I don’t use products like this.  My hair is too fine and I have zero extra minutes in the morning to do anything more than comb it.  Now, if Rusk could come out with a finishing spray that tames the poufy, I may consider that.  According to the Birchbox review page, however, most people like this.  It adds texture and volume to your hair when sprayed on the roots.  Now, I have long, all-one-length hair so not sure what kind of texture I can make with a can of texture spray.  Sticky-uppy, maybe?  Dunno.  But it smells good so that’s nice.

You’re welcome for that in-depth, very informative review.  Blogging success today.  Getting back into pajamas now.

Received the very boring Acure Lip Lush lip gloss in the shade Date Worthy, a medium rose nude.  Also described as completely sheer/practically clear once applied on your lips.  There is really nothing special about this lip gloss for me.  I mean, I suppose it serves a purpose if all you want is a little shine and that’s it.  Or if you want lips that smell like candy.  Maybe if you have nothing else around this would be alright.  But honestly, I could lose it in the washing machine (i.e., black hole-slash-sock eater) and never shed a tear.  However, it’s not sticky, which is pretty important, and it has Echinacea stem cell in it, which sounds made up but kind of makes me mildly curious anyway.

And now for the Dr. Jart+ Black Label Detox BB cream.  I didn’t hate getting this in the box, but I used it once and then passed it along to my mother who is a big Dr. Jart+ fan.  I’ve come across BB creams that wow me (Miracle Skin Transformer is one), and this one is just okay.  Decent enough coverage, although not quite enough for my splotchy complexion.  If you are already flawless, you’d probably be just fine.  We wouldn’t like you very much, but that’s beside the point.  This product comes in one universal shade, so it takes out 100% of the guesswork, which is very much appreciated by (OCD, anxiety-ridden, indecisive) me.  But I just don’t love it enough to keep it.  I have 27 foundations; I need to stay picky.

Got this very pretty Vasanti Kajal Extreme eyeliner in Rose Gold as my pick-your-own-sample choice.  As if I don’t already have enough eyeliners.  But I didn’t have this color, and if you’re going to be obsessed, you at least need to do it properly.  The color is pretty light if you’re trying to use it on top of eyeshadow, even champagne colored eyeshadow.  But it looks really lovely under the lower lashes.  Very feminine and dainty.  I liked it a lot.  It’s metallic and creamy.  If you buy the full size it will come with a built in sharpener and smudger.  Yay for bonuses!

Last item is the SeaRX Anti-wrinkling Serum.  The last time I tried a SeaRX product, it was a body moisturizer and I really loved it.  So I’m looking forward to trying the serum.  The reviews online sounds like most people like this except for the fact there isn’t much in the tube to generate a qualified review.  Sounds like my posts on a regular basis, although if you’re using my reviews as part of a scientific study, I’m afraid you’re gonna have to start over.  Sorry bout it.  So it sounds like this one will end up in an Empties post very soon.  I’m going to get started on it next.  Keep an eye out.

Okay, we’re done for the day.  Looking forward to a weekend full of nothing with the one exception of going to Best Buy to purchase an iPad case.  Totally worth wearing pants for.  Toodles!