This weekend my husband and I drove 45 minutes out of town to eat Italian food at this restaurant in the middle of nowhere.  I say middle of nowhere because it literally drops off the map due to A) they don’t take debit cards and B) my cell phone wouldn’t work in there.  I seriously had to spend the next two hours NOT on Instagram.  Clearly this sounds like torture, and if you’d like to send me a Get Well token, I like gift cards.

Here’s my Birchbox:

Ho hum pigs bum.  Were you about to say that too?  Cuz it’s true.  Not much to get overly excited about.  It’s not the worst box they’ve ever sent me, though.  I’ll at least use everything in here.  Not with a smile, mind you, but I’ll use them.

I have nothing against the Neil George shampoo and conditioner, but Birchbox has committed a beauty box sin.  I get five samples, Birchbox.  FIVE.  Shampoo and conditioner is a set – they go together, they are one in the same (aside from being different, that is).  I mean, sure you can have a peanut butter sandwich with no jelly, a hamburger with no fries, or a NARS eyeshadow with no Guerlain lipstick.  But do you want to, really?  If you have to consider this question for longer that 2.57 seconds, you may have stumbled upon this blog by accident.

My point is (there is one), I got cheated because someone decided that shampoo and conditioner equaled two individual things when they clearly ARE NOT.  It’s basic math.

But back to the product review.  This set is just fine.  Not too expensive as far as something non-drugstore goes ($9 each).  I was happy to see the shampoo is clear, as I’ve been told that clear shampoos are better for your hair.  I do not know if that’s actually true since I didn’t see this claim with my own eyes.  But it does make sense.

I’m pretty sure I’ve received every Harvey Prince product in existence.  Seriously, if you do a search in this blog, I’m almost certain there’s about 17, 18 posts on his perfumes.  Probably a slight exaggeration, but when you don’t like perfume, it seems like 17 or 18 posts.  At the least.  Anyway, this time they sent a body cream in the Hello scent.  So while I wasn’t overly thrilled or anything, I knew I would use it about 100% more than I’d use another perfume.  Minor success; I’ll take them wherever I can.

This stuff aptly smells like perfume.  But it’s a nice musky scent, which if I’m forced to wear a perfume, I like ’em musky.  Most likely stems from my overuse of Coty Wild Musk as a teenager – my first love.  As far as the cream part goes, it takes a bit to rub in as the white doesn’t melt into your skin immediately.  It’s not a thin lotion consistency, which is probably why they’ve called it a cream.  Hopefully you’ve come here for some obvious information cuz that’s exactly what you got.  I am a PROFESSIONAL, in case you didn’t know.

Y’all know how much I love my Sumita Beauty black eyeliner.  It is hands down the best I’ve ever used in my waterline.  So I was perfectly cool with getting one of their Color Contrast eyeliners in the shade Hansa which is an olive green.  Certainly it would be just as amazing, or that was my expectation anyway.  I don’t know if it’s the color – it’s not a very vibrant olive green, which I suppose is the trademark of olive green (again with the obvious) – but it doesn’t last like the black does.  In fact, I’m looking right now this very second and after 10 hours of wear, the color is barely detectable.  Granted, 10 hours is a very long time, but my black one stays on for over 12.  Okay, I’m being a brat.

I’m not sure if I’m going to keep the liner.  I haven’t tried it on my top lid though, so maybe I’ll try that first before I get rid of it.  Give it the benefit of the doubt.  Not every liner is meant for the waterline – and this one, at least this olive green one, definitely is not.

Last item in the box is the saving grace.  It’s the Miracle Skin Transformer Treat & Conceal eye and face concealer, and I’m loving it so much.  A little tiny bit is all you need.  It’s a dry formula; it sets into a powder.  And surprisingly it didn’t make me look crepey or extra old which a lot of dry, powdery formulas tend to do. I haven’t used it on face splotches or pimple scars yet, but you totally can. But as an under eye treatment, it’s pretty good. One of the better ones I’ve tried. And I’ve tried a lot. Cuz I write a beauty blog and also I have a problem.

Well we’re done now. I’ve got a long awaited Buying Stuff post right around the corner, so stay tuned for that. I know you’re excited (cuz I am the boss of you). Toodles, loves!