Category Archives: Nail Art

Glam Polish: Gobblefunk Shimmers (LE)

Standard

My husband suggested an idea for my own nail polish color. He said it shall be called No Pants Sunday, and that it would be a super pale nude or possibly a plain white. With freckles in it. I’m not sure if I should be offended, or pleased he’s speaking the language of my people.

Yes, I’m pale. Yes, I’m also super pale. All of that is true. And it’s not even the Irish Fair Maiden kind of pale. Unless you like the shade of chalk that’s been dipped in yogurt, then I’m not winning any hot bodies contests any time soon.

To be clear, though, it’s mostly my legs that are pale as they never ever see the sun. I am not a leg girl. Unless I’m headed out to the Fat Knee Convention, I keep my legs covered up. The rest of my exposed skin is more of a red, anxiety-flush version of pale. In other words, my husband loves me for my brains.

To protest No Pants Sunday (the polish, not actual no pants on Sunday, of which I am a super huge fan), I give you some gorgeous Glam Polish shades that are the exact opposites of nude.

This is one of their newest collections called the Gobblefunk Shimmers. Five spectacularly blingy shades celebrating the 100th birthday of one of the world’s best storytellers, author Roald Dahl. 

Let’s go! First up is Whoopsy-Splunkers:

Okay, stop. Did you just die? Cuz I sure did. What a glowy, gorgeous thing. They look like literal metallic foil on your nails. Glorious.

Here’s a shot taken under the lamps:

Squeeeee!  And we’re just getting started, so I’ll be a mushy pool of drool and goo by the end of this blog. 

The base on this shade is an indigo blueish purple that’s loaded with crimson color shifting glass fleck shimmer and holo flakes.  It’s such a cool mix!  Look at it up close:

Formula on this is to die for. Two easy and flawless coats. No effort required. If this polish was a person, it’d be my best friend.  We’d be so awesome at pajamas together. Throw in some Netflix and Doritos, and life = succeeded. Effortless, like I said.

Nail art alert!

These polishes make excellent bases for fun nail art. Here, I used some candy swirl vinyls I got from Lanika Vinyls and they are the best of this style I’ve ever used. See those clean lines? That’s not cuz I know what I’m doing, AT ALL, I can promise you that.

Next polish is Phiz-Whizzing:

The camera might’ve freaked out on this one cuz my fingers look so tan and lovely!  I mean, see the below picture for sad portrayal of actual life. Ugh. 

Ahhhh, there I am! Flushy and fleshy. Did I just break the internet? Probably so. 

Phiz-Whizzing is a teal jelly with gold and green color shifting glass fleck shimmer and holo flakes. First pic was taken in the light box and pulls more green, while the second one under the lamps pulls more teal. Either way, I’m in mad, passionate love. It’s the green of my dreams.

Again, two precious coats. 

I thought this was the perfect mermaid shade, so of course I did some cute mermaid nails:

Uber Chic Beauty just came out with a mermaid stamping plate, so what excellent timing!  However, don’t ask what I was attempting on my ring finger. Clearly, I don’t always know when to stop.  Stamp all the things!  That’s my motto. 

And now, Splitzwiggled:

Good gracious, I’m speechless.  How glowy and gorgeous is this? (Very.)

Under the lights, though:

I need at least 17 emojis to properly describe my love for this shade. It looks red in some lights, but it’s actually a magenta jelly full of gold glass fleck shimmer. What the hell is glass fleck shimmer? I dunno, but I want it all over my body.

Is that TMI? Not in this group!

Dead. 

Still dead. 

Then I did this wackadoodle nail art:

You see, I was trying to make strawberries laying in a field of green vines. In my head, this looked nothing short of an art piece. But in reality .. meh. Again, a prime example of how NOT to stamp all the things. Someone needs to take away my stamping plates. 

Just kidding. I will cut you. 

Ready for a jaw drop? Here’s Gloriumptious:

Okay, it’s getting serious now. You’re buying this entire collection. I’ve decided for you. 

Has there ever been a more splendid couple than fuchsia and blue? Besides Fritos and bean dip, the answer is NO.

Gah!

Went a little simpler with my nail art on this one. I bought the entire stamping plate inventory from this new company, Lina Nail Art Supplies, which means two things:

1.  Not stamping all the things is proving to be var var hard right now, and

2.  Someone needs more responsibilities, like an electric bill or something. Cuz, again, I BOUGHT THEIR ENTIRE INVENTORY. What is wrong with me? In my defense, though, I wanted every last one of them.

So here’s a design using their Make Your Mark 02 plate:

I love the contrast of the blingy fuchsia and the glossy black creme. I made a success of this one! Toot toot!

And lastly, we have Time-Twiddler:

Perhaps the most subdued of the bunch, but definitely not boring. This one might be a manifestation of me in polish form:  wearing pajamas, looking all chill, but still awesome AF cuz look at mah nails! Hair might not be combed, but dammit my hands belong in a magazine.

Ooooh, she pretty all glossy like that!

Color here is a deep violet – more royal purple than Whoopsy-Splunkers, the first polish I showed you. And those glass fleck shimmers –  purple, this time – are just so perfect. This polish looks like black light. Check it:

See what I mean? This one sets one heckuva mood. Sexy little thing.

Busted out some chevron vinyls that I got from Polished Vino not too long ago, and made this easy design:

Sometimes simple is best. 

The round up:

Holy moly, what a fabulous bunch of pretties. Guys, you have to get this collection. Every single one of them. They’re pretty. They’re shiny. They’re smooth and easy.  Two coats and done. Why are you still thinking about this?! Get on it, girlfriends!

Well, not til October 28 at 2pm EST that is. On that day, you can buy them here. Shipping to the US is quick and cheap cuz they have a supplier in Michigan just for us! They do ship to some other international locales, which you can check here.

So, what to do between now and October 28 then? Besides watch season 5 AND 6 of The Walking Dead before some asshole ruins season 7 before you ever get there, that is? Scroll my Instagram.  Duh.

Later, loves!

Blush Lacquers: October BLUSH Box and What’s Your Fantasy Polish

Standard

I asked my husband when I could quit my job to stay home and paint my nails for a living and his answer was never.  So honestly, I’m not sure this relationship is going to work out.  I mean, come on, it’s the perfect situation!  He would never have to cook or clean again because I’d be home all day long making sure the housekeeper took care of everything.  And then I’d never embarrass him out in public because I would have the best hands, pointing at restaurant menus or picking out pastries in the Starbucks display case with a flashy fingertip.  It’s basically a win win.  He’d get a trophy wife and I’d get to stay in pajamas for 95% of my day.

Certainly there is a universe out there where this could happen.  Although I suppose by my working, I can continue to buy all the nail polish I want without getting the stink eye.  So there’s a trade off, I guess.

Fiiiiine.  I’ll go to work tomorrow.  FOR NOW.

Until all my dreams come true, though, I have nail stuff to show you!  Two products from Blush Lacquers that you will make you want to go ahead and work just one more day, too.  Let’s go!

Every month (give or take), Blush Lacquers offers a BLUSH box.  This particular one is a collaboration between Blush and two other makers.  Here’s what you get:

How about that polish?! It’s called Blackberry Wine and it looks exactly like it.  Like, Victoria is such a genius in how she gets polishes just right.  This is literally squashed grapes in a barrell.  But with less feet.

Other items include blackberry and sage bath fizzies from Clean Line Soap Company, a variety of water decals and wine-themed vinyls from Ribbits Stickits, and a little container of wine shaped glitters that Victoria picked up from her glitter supplier.  It’s all so cute as a button.  If you somehow manage to not buy this box, you need to take that show on the road cuz that’s some superhuman strength right there.

Let’s do a closer look:

See those baby wine glitters?  Precious!  Ugh.  I will warn you though – they will stick all over your body whether you like it or not, so be careful.  I liked to never have gotten them off this white cloth.  They might be made of static cling .. glue .. magnets …  It’s almost funny where you’ll find these later, stuck to your ladybits and whatnot.  In other words, use your tweezers and some common sense.

The black sheet of decals is the same as the silver sheet, just so you know.  My photography skills are not the most keen.  I’m trying, though.  I did buy flowers and rubber grapes just for these pics.  If I’m not careful, I’m going to own 800+ bottles of nail polish AND a spare bedroom full of photo props.  What can I say – when I obsess, I do it professionally.

Let’s focus on just the polish for a bit.  Here she is … Blackberry Wine:

So gorgeous.  Such a deep, deep grape-y purple.  There is a very subtle blue shimmer that you almost can’t see unless you walk around holding an LED lamp at all times.  Maybe you DO do that; I’m not judging.  I bend my tongue back so it sticks to itself, so now who’s the weirdo?

Below are two shots showing what the polish looks like normally, and then under the lamps:

And then of course, a macro.  I had to take this outside just to get the best shimmer action.  But totally worth it, even though I was forced to put pants on.

One more for good measure, just in case you aren’t sure.  Although I’m sure you’re sure.  You’re smart people.

Did you just die?  Cuz I sure did.

The following photos are attempts at me trying something different.  Plus, I paid $3.49 for those rubber grapes and I wasn’t letting that go to waste.  Enjoy!

Okay, that last one.  That is actual red wine.  In a mason jar with a straw.  And despite all that, I’m a super cool person.

Below is some nail art I did using the Ribbits Stickits water decals and wine-themed vinyls:

The purple stamping on my middle nail looks exactly like spilled wine.  Could’ve been clever if it wasn’t such an accident.  I was just looking for something to put in the background behind my wine glass sticker.  Sometimes I am even amazed by my own geniosity…geniusness…genie-something.  Well, you get it.

The other new release is the September What’s Your Fantasy Polish winner.  I present, Hook’d on Darling:

This is no joke stunning.  One of the best blues I’ve ever seen. So much prettier than an ordinary holo.  I just love it!  The vision belongs to @fiddlednails on Instagram, who was inspired by her daughter, and the lovely Victoria brought the whole thing to life.  

It’s a royal blue holographic with an amazing mint shimmer.  Looks just like the sea!  And when you get it under the lights … wowza!

See?  There’s no way you’re not putting this in the cart.  I can’t imagine even one scenario.

Below, another attempt at something creative.  Thank goodness I bought this scarf four years ago.  Cuz then what?!

The round up:

Both of these items debuted today, so make sure to prioritze your schedule.  In case you’re not clear, it should look like this:

1.  Click here to buy some Blush stuff

2.  There is no number two.

Later, loves!

The Digit-al Dozen: Vampy (day five)

Standard

I’ve written a blog post every single day for five days straight and I have no idea how I’ve done it. Cuz seriously, my life is not that interesting. Unless you like to read about couch-laying, pajama wearing, Starbucks drinking or nail polish, there isn’t that much in here for you.

Unless you like the fact I make your life feel more normal and/or glamorous, that is. Because my idea of lingerie is whatever t-shirt my office gave out for the employee picnic that year. And a social life? What’s that? Nail polish is a one-woman show, ya know.

That being said, I like my life. I like being lazy. I like deciding my hair doesn’t need washed more than twice a week although it probably does.  And I like staying at home. Nothing too haunted or spidery has happened there, so I’m good with it for a while. Plus, you can’t have a no-pants situation out in public.  Nope, it’s a  full-on pants scenario once you step outside your front door, and sometimes that’s just not worth it.

Last day for the Digit-al Dozen this week!  Hope you’ve liked all the vampy manis I’ve done so far. They were fun to create, even though it hurt my brain being so creative that many days in a row.

Here’s the latest:

This one is cute. There, I tooted my own horn. But I love everything about it. Not too over-the-top, not too plain. Here’s what I used:

BLACK AND WHITE – I Scream Nails Licorice Twist and Soft Serve, respectively 

RED GLITTER – Sassy Pants Polish Ghost Stories ‘Round the Campfire

IMAGES – It Girl Nail Art IG 112 plate (red heels) and Moyra White Wedding 17 plate (lips) that I got from Cosette Nail Shop

Next month I’ll be back with more Digit-al Dozen manis. The theme will be Color Contrasts, so the wheels are already turning. In the meantime, don’t forget to click the link below to see everyone else’s manis. There’s some good ones in there!

Later, loves!

The Digit-al Dozen: Vampy (day four)

Standard

I just received my Erin Condren planner in the mail. 

Please don’t let me get obsessed. Please don’t let me get obsessed. Please don’t let me get obsessed. 

Ever since I was little, I’ve had a love affair with paper. I would clean my room for a dollar just so I could buy a While You Were Out message pad. Instead of playing with dolls, I played with office supplies. And of course I had over 60 pen pals that received colored envelopes with matching stamps from me on a regular basis. 

In other words: NERD. I couldn’t help it; there was something about paper that soothed me. I’ve always been a writer (of various means, mostly ridiculous, i.e., this blog), and found great joy in writing a maximum of 11 pages in countless unfinished novels.

Basically what I’m saying is, I shopped for this planner with my eyes closed. Cuz I know they sell coordinated stickers and Post-Its and highlighters and giant paper clips with colorful little end-pieces. And I don’t need to get wrapped up in that. Otherwise I know I’ll go ham all over it, and then where would all the nail polish and Starbucks go?

I just gave myself the hives. Erlack!

Here’s the Digit-al Dozen: Vampy, Day Four:

First time ever doing a black and red gradient. It turned out okay although it was a big o B to clean up. Don’t look too close! My reputation for pristine cuticles is on the line.

RED – Superchic Lacquer Realm of Erotica (Seeeee?! Vampy.)

BLACK – R.E.M., also by SuperChic Lacquer

IMAGE – Black roses from the Moyra: White Wedding 17 stamping plate, purchased from the Cosette Nail Shop.

That’s it for today. Only one more vampy mani to go then it’s business as usual. Back to your regularly scheduled nonsense. You know, the reason you read this blog. 

Don’t forget to click the link below for more Digit-al Dozen madness!

Later, loves!

The Digit-al Dozen: Vampy (day three)

Standard

Things I Have Neglected Since I Started Painting My Nails #267:

Reading books.  Namely, just one book.  I started it back in March 2015 and I’ve had 150 pages left to go for about 19 months.  I want to get back to it so bad, though!  I love to read.  I have been an avid reader my entire life.  In fact, I was so crazy about reading, I kept a spreadsheet of every book completed including number of pages and a rating system.

Nerd alert!

But now my little spreadsheet has cobwebs all over it and that crushes me.  I struggle with balance in my life, you might say.  I get so one-track focused on a hobby that I have zero room for anything else.  For real, I stopped sweeping the floors and grocery shopping and leaving the house unless I was being paid to do it.  The last issue of US Weekly I read, Angelina and Brad were still together.  Imagine how sad I’ll be later!

So this might be a pre-cursor to a New Years Resolution or something.  To set time limits on things, and to maybe venture outside every once in a while – for more than just checking the mail box for nail polish. We’ll see though. I kinda like wearing pajamas for 72 hours straight.

Here’s Digit-al Dozen Vampy day three:

This one was a pretty simple design, although I’ve never done it and wanted to for a really long time.  It could be called a Ruffian mani, but it might just be an upside down French Tip for all I know.  Either way, it’s super easy and looks so cool.  Here’s what I used:

PURPLE – Glam Polish Magica de Spell, a color I just recently swatched and reviewed on this blog.  It’s an awesome vampy shade, I think!

BLACK – I Scream Nails Licorice Twist, a one coat perfect creme.

VINYLS – What’s Up Nails Circle Tape, which can be used to create this design as well as half moons or french tips or whatever else you can think of – no limit!

BLACK STUDS – These could’ve came from so many places.  I have a closet full of nail wheels of gems of every color.  Just search for black nail art gems on Amazon – you’ll be amazed at how many choices there are.  You’ll want them all.  Or at least I did because self-control.  As in, LACK THEREOF.

As always, be sure to click the button below to see the rest of the Digit-al Dozen’s day three vampy manis.  Get inspired!  And then follow me on Instagram, cuz it’s the right thing to do.

Later, loves!

The Digit-al Dozen: Vampy (day one)

Standard

Mama, I’ve made it. In case you want a really really good reason to be proud of your daughter (in addition to my degree in “secretary” that is), I am now a member of The Digit-al Dozen, an awesome group of super talented nail artists. And no, I didn’t have to pay to get in:  I was chosen.

Ahhhhhhhh! So it’s not like a Harvard or Yale situation or anything like that, but it’s PRETTY DANG CLOSE. And that’s in all caps so you know I’m serious. I’m the happiest of all things happy.

So what does this mean?  Well, in addition to my swatches and reviews of nail polish, I’ll actually get to show you some of my nail art, which I admit is few and far between on here. Every month there is a theme, and all of us post our themed manis once a day for five days. Which also means I will be blogging five days in a row, and that makes you excited. (It does; I checked.)

Not sure what layout or formula I’ll end up with eventually on how I’ll do these posts, so bear with me as I figure it out. This first week will be pretty basic, but hopefully the nail art you will love.

Let’s start! Here’s Day One:


I hope the first thing you thought of when you saw that was VAMPY. Or actually, maybe you thought GENIUS! first, then vampy, which is also correct.

Here’s what I used:

Red duo chrome – Dainty Digits Polish Equinox, a polish that I swatched for you last week. I thought it was the perfect vampy shade!

Blue gray – Native War Paints Cable Knit Sweater, a gorgeous dark gray with golden shimmer. This looks ridiculous in real life. So pretty, it hurts.

Stamping – Bundle Monster + Yagala collab plate BM-XL208. I used the one image in two ways because every once in a while I can be resourceful. Buying 78 shades of purple nail polish is a moot point. Obviously.

Hope you enjoyed my first Digit-al Dozen post! I’ve got four more to share this week which I hope look just as vampy (or genius) as this one. In the meantime, click the button below to see the rest of The Digit-al Dozen vampy manis!

Later, loves!

SwatchFest 2016: Glam Polish

Standard

I just did 20 minutes of cardio trying to get a bee out of my car while scrolling Instagram on lunch break.  Ugh, what a horrid little surprise.  Y’all know my idea of exercise is having my husband go get me stuff while he is up and walking around.  So, having to use all my energy ducking and weaving in and out and around my car was just too much exertion for me.  I hope to God someone is on their way with a candy bar.  I really feel like I deserve one right now.

While we wait, we’ve got some polish to discuss.  I had the great honor of being a Guest Swatcher for Glam Polish recently, and they sent me 4 beautiful recent releases to share with you all.  And THEY. ARE. STUNNING.  In all capital letters cuz I’m serious.  You’ll see.

The first three all came from their Coven Collection, inspired by some famous witches.  Let’s start with Magica de Spell:

This one is inspired by the sorceress, Magica de Spell, from the Scrooge McDuck cartoons.  She is modeled after a Morticia Adams-type character, sexy and seductive.  I’d agree!  This is a gorgeous deep red-toned purple.  And what are those little silver specs?  Glitter?  Flakies? Magic?  I’d go with magic, because duh .. witches.

Photo taken in light box:

Ugh.  So pretty.  And the formula was amazing.  Two coats, ultra smooth, easy to control.  A literal dream.  In fact, if all polishes were made like this, I’d have an even worse problem than I do now.  So it’s probably a good thing, otherwise how will Starbucks happen?  I mean, I may have a house full of nail polish, but no money for Starbucks makes it hurt a little bit.  But just a little, let’s be clear.

Some macros:

I could probably end the blog right here with enough convincing evidence for you to buy some Glam Polish.  But do you have something more important to do, somewhere fancy to go?  No you do not.  You’re on your couch wearing no pants just like me.  Moving on.

Here’s Zelena:

Omg, there’s a green one.  A glorious, spectacular, delicious green.  Next level green.  Basically the most fabulous green of your life.  Get excited!

Zelena, inspired by the Wicked Witch of the West, and I’m seriously in love.  She literally glows.  Even in this photo inside the lightbox, which I took to reduce glare:

Stubborn little missy, she’s glowing anyway.  We like that sassy attitude.  You definitely need this one in your collection.   I can’t think of any reason why not.

Some macro porn:

I die!

Let’s seal the deal now.  I present Ms Eva Ernst:

Talk about sexy!  A gorgeous berry red.  The perfect vampy shade.

Ms Eva Ernst is inpsired by the Grand High Witch from the children’s book, The Witches, by Roald Dahl.  I’ve never read the book, but this polish makes me want to.  Polish makes me want to do lots of things, actually.  Here’s a list:

Number 1:  Sit in my nail room and organize my bottles first by brand, second by color.

Number 2:  Sit in my nail room and caress my bottles like they are precious little polish babies, which they ARE, clearly.

Number 3:  Sit in my nail room and stare at my bottles, most likely complete with idiotic smile and half closed eyes.

Oh my God, polish makes me a crazy person.  Well, that’s nothing new.

Again, two perfect coats.  Easiest, most effortless application.  You could apply this laying down wearing a big snowsuit a la Randy Parker from A Christmas Story who “can’t put his arms down“.  Is than an overexaggeration?

No it is not.

Okay, so now that we’ve decided you’re buying these three, let’s look at one last one for good measure:

This is Wheeeeee!:

This one is part of the Ready…Set…Go collection, inspired by Mario Kart.  How cute is that?  I checked, and there are 12 polishes in this collection, so if you’re diggin this style, the rest are pretty similar.  Different colors, of course.  But guaranteed to love.

I’ll admit, it looked scary in the bottle.  There was so much going on with its silvery glitter base and those pale aqua circles and stars that I thought for sure the formula would be thick, goopy, and hard to apply.  But NO.  It was easy peasy lemon squeezy and so pleasy.

Okay, I’ll stop.  Just go buy it, ok?  Two surprisingly amazing coats.  If that’s not enough, check out these macros:

I’m speechless, so I’m just gonna go now.  You know what to do anyway.  Click here to buy everything I’ve showed you, plus everything else they have in the store.  Glam Polish is made in Australia, but shipping to the US is very reasonable – like $3.80 for the first bottle then $1 each additional bottle.  They coordinate with their shipping agent in Michigan in order to make it speedier – you should get your order in less than a week.  Magic?  Yes.

If you aren’t in the US, they ship other places too.  Click here for more info!

Happy Friday everybody!  I’m polishing nails for the next 72 hours.  What about you?  Buying some Glam Polish?  That’s right.  You are.

Later, loves!